█ ▌ parks & recreation starter sentences ❜
“ no, that’s buckingham palace. hogwarts is fictional. you do know that, don’t you? it’s important to me that you know that.”
“ i’m sorry. i have to ask this, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him? ”
“ on a scale of one to chris brown, how pissed is he? ”
“ when i bet on horses, i never lose. why? i bet on all the horses. ”
“ i have never taken the high road. but i tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road. ”
“ i hope no one minds if i live-tweet this bitch. ”
“ i hope you brought a change of clothes because your eyes are about to piss tears. ”
“ i was sobbing at a pizza buffet, and they asked me to leave. ”
“ jogging is the worst. i know it keeps you healthy but god at what cost?”
“ i love her so much, but i think i’m going to draw a mustache on her face. ”
“ horizons are dumb. never broaden your horizons. ”
“ the air is so fresh. it’s disgusting. ”
“ i think you’ve got several options. they’re all terrible…but you have them. ”
“ well, i guess your uter-you and my uter-me are now our uter-us. ”
“ i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired. ”
“ windows are the eyes of the house. ”
“ if you rearrange the letters of peru, you get europe. ”
“ when they say two percent milk, i don’t know what the other 98 percent is. ”
“ i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and broke everything. ”
“ when i get bummed out, i take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty. ”
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