Enough of Zodiac signs and moon-risings, what’s your Crestfall Insignia?
JANUARY – Shadow in the Dark Woods: Deranged, hypnotic eyes, loves animals, or potentially is an animal. Filled with life, always seeking new, questionable experiences. Should lay in the sun more often.
FEBRUARY – Still-Beating Heart in a Jam Jar: Loving, self-sacrificing, excessively into poetry. Sees the best in everyone. You like to stare into the foggy, middle distance with a sense of melancholic yearning, but you’re also down to hang. Please get therapy.
MARCH – Some Sentient, Earthy Mass I Found in My Backyard: I don’t know what you are. You whisper things in the dead of night. I’m not sure why I invited you inside, you won’t leave. You’re still curled up on a beanbag in a dark corner enjoying a good book.
APRIL – Man-Eating Cat: You are adorable chaos incarnate. We watch you destroy and devour and then give you little head scratches. A ball of fluff with an air of danger. Unassuming and friendly, but secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, an admirer of the dark and perverse. I love you, I fear you.
MAY – A Human Skull Growing Off a Rosemary Bush: Surprising, natural, smiling in a way that is difficult to interpret. You show up in unexpected places and delight and tantalize in your unique strangeness. We didn’t ask for you, but you are what we needed, and we love having you around. Should probably grow some skin at some point.
JUNE – Loose Death Cannon: Consistent, reliable, but can be explosive at times. We need to learn how to dodge your literal and metaphorical cannonballs, or maybe you should just learn to aim better, but you’re lively and definitely totally not deadly at all…
JULY – Rogue Piece of Flesh That Miraculously Hasn’t Rotted Yet: You’re resilient, tender, and most likely dissociating right now. Doesn’t tan well in the sun, spends too much time in the dirt, but loves a fun time despite needing some convincing to have a fun time.
AUGUST – Crime-Solving Goat: You’re unstoppable. You’re astute, curious, and shed too much. Enjoys the excitement of the unknown and harbers a tragic past. Loves making friends, is happy to be here, and forms deep attachments to the endearingly nefarious.
SEPTEMBER – Eldritch Potato God: It’s a rising concern that you are overpowered. You came from the ground, you came from outer space. Your all-seeing eye is hungry for knowledge, and desires worship. Wants the world, and we’ll give it to you, but must moisturize daily.
OCTOBER – Phantom Bicycle: Fiercely loyal, haunting and haunted, loves a midnight stroll. Feels held by the cover of nightfall, but could use a sunrise every now and then. Generously kind, often spooky, but needs to remember to let other people put air in their tires sometimes.
NOVEMBER – Button-Eyed Raven: Dreary, edgy soft boy who loves crafts. An omen, a harbinger of the end, a great addition to any friend group. You’re a little rough around the edges, but you’re always there… Ugh, you’re ALWAYS there.
DECEMBER – The Abyss Stares Back: Comforting, immense, the only true thing on this mortal coil. You love giving gifts and existential crisises. Infinitely deep and we could get lost in those eternal, beautiful, terrifying eyes. And oh god how the eyes are everywhere.