i love: god, tanning, sunsets, jj maybank, charlie cooper, madelyn cline, embreigh courtlyn, ariana greenblatt, (like as my idols), outer banks, netflix, the summer i turned pretty, rudy pankow, bronze, gold, anything beachy bronze im all over it, beaches, white, vanilla perfume, leopards, pinterest, my basic white girl music taste, jewelry, traveling, jiara, rudison, jarah, Charlie and Sophia
Pairing: Boyfriend!JJ Maybank x Routledge Cousin!Reader
Warnings: Tiny bit of oral (M receiving), itty bitty bit of smut, insecure JJ, mentions of verbal abuse from Luke
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: This is not gonna be the last part, I lied again. Are we even surprised anymore??
Also I've been so tired that I'm not sure if this is even words but I sure hope it is!!
Series Masterlist
After that day, it was almost hard to believe that you and JJ were actually together.
The two of you were ridiculously happy... and ridiculously awkward about it.
Because now you could kiss each other whenever you wanted, which sounded amazing in theory, but in reality, half the time one of you would lean in, the other would smile too hard, and you'd both end up laughing against each other's mouths before the kiss even really started.
Sometimes you'd reach over and lace your fingers through his, because girlfriends can, and he'd look down at your hands for a second, almost confused. Then he'd immediately get the dopiest, stupidest smile on his face.
He'd just shrug and smile harder because he knew you knew what.
And then neither of you would be able to stop smiling.
And everybody noticed.
Other times, you'd lean your head on his shoulder or hug on his arm and he'd completely stop paying attention to whatever was happening around him.
Because it felt amazing.
And so weird.
And way too perfect.
The Pogues teasing got worse the more they'd see you interact with each other in very 'non-friendy' ways.
"You two are acting more like middle schoolers in a relationship than actual adults," Kiara said one day after watching you go into a full on giggle fit just because JJ had kissed you on the cheek.
You ignored her, plopping into his lap and kissing him on the cheek now as his arms looped around your waist.
"Honestly," Sarah agreed. "It's kinda adorable though." She turned to John B, raising a brow. "Is this how they were when they were kids?"
You just smiled softly at each other at that, before he pressed his lips gently to yours and you both burst into more quiet giggles.
John B shook his head. "They were way less embarrassing when they were kids. And way, way less gross."
Pope laughed quietly. "That's not true... other than the part about them being more gross now."
John B grimaced as you both kissed each other again... then again. Like you were both in your own little world.
"It's definitely true."
It really was though.
The two of you were way worse now.
Way more obsessed.
And there were surprisingly way more awkward giggles than even when you were younger, like neither of you could wrap your heads around the fact that this was real.
Of course, JJ still called you Shrimp and Princess like he always had, but he didn't immediately suddenly start calling you baby or sweetheart or anything like that. (Except in bed.) But sometimes it'd slip out and catch everybody off guard like they almost forgot that the two of you were actually together.
Honestly, it caught JJ off guard when he said it more than anybody.
You absolutely ate it up though. Because, yes, you were his baby. And his sweetheart. And whatever else he wanted to call you honestly.
Every single day, JJ kept expecting something to go wrong, but nothing ever did. It just kept being so insanely perfect and he couldn't grasp that concept that maybe he actually did deserve something this good.
Or someone.
You noticed it all the time in the way he'd look at you when he thought you weren't paying attention.
It was this disbelieving look that almost looked a little longing. And a little confused and maybe even a tiny bit sad like he couldn't even let himself be happy about having you sometimes.
So you made it your personal mission to make sure he never doubted how loved he was. Not with that exact word yet, but you showed him in other ways:
Like by kissing his cheek out of nowhere. Or his forehead– which he liked way more than he'd expected the first time you did it.
Or by texting him how much you missed him even if it'd only been an hour since you'd last seen each other.
Or by bringing him snacks you or your mom made.
Or by calling him handsome way too much and telling him how good he looked in whatever hat or shirt he was wearing... before stealing it later.
But no matter what, you'd still see that tiny bit of uncertainty in his eyes like a part of him still thought you were too good for him.
You figured that it was maybe because he had spent most of his life expecting people to leave. Or maybe it was because of the verbal abuse he'd endured from Luke that had him believing that he was worthless and that he ruined everything he touched no matter how hard he tried not to.
Whatever the reason, it was there.
And it broke your heart.
If Rafe Cameron couldn't believe you chose JJ over him, JJ somehow believed it even less. Which was exactly why he spent every chance he got trying to spoil you with whatever he had.
Not with super expensive things, and sometimes it wasn't even things at all.
He'd stop at the gas station and buy your favorite drink or candy without telling you.
He'd take you on dates to get food or ice cream from Salty Scoops, always paying even if you made three times as much as him that day in just tips.
He'd take you to watch the sunset at the Boneyard and take candid pictures of you just because of how beautiful he thought you looked.
He started giving you shells and little pieces of seaglass he thought were cool like he used to when you were younger.
He'd buy you jewelry and it was never expensive, but every single time, you looked at whatever he'd given you like it was the most special, prettiest thing you'd ever seen. And you'd wear it every single day like he did with the shark tooth necklace.
He was definitely a giver in the bedroom too, always putting your pleasure before his, because he genuinely loved being the reason you came undone.
He didn't take a single second of alone time with you for granted. He knew how lucky he was to be the one you wanted to experience everything with. The one who's hands and mouth you wanted all over you. And if you wanted to try something new, he'd make that happen, no questions asked and with zero judgement.
Whenever, wherever.
Operation 'make sure Y/N never is never lonely again' was now in full force.
One night, you heard the familiar tap tap tap against your window while you were laying in your bed scrolling through your phone and your face lit up immediately.
You tossed your phone aside and hurried over, pushing the curtain back. But when you did, you saw absolutely nothing outside.
"...What the hell?"
You frowned and squinted out into the dark... Then, slowly, a stuffed turtle rose into view from below the windowsill.
You jumped and covered your mouth to muffle the tiny squeak that escaped your throat.
A second later JJ's grinning face popped up beside it and you immediately, quietly, burst out laughing.
"You're so ridiculous," you whispered, pushing the window open.
He looked very proud of himself. "You know this."
Before he could even climb inside, you grabbed his face and crashed your lips onto his.
JJ made a surprised noise against your mouth and when you pulled back, he was smiling so hard it looked like his face hurt.
"Hi," he breathed.
"Hi there, big scary man."
He laughed and climbed in, shutting the window softly behind him before awkwardly holding the turtle out to you. "I saw that you still had the shark I gave you. Figured she needed a buddy."
Your heart practically melted right then and there. "JJ..."
He shrugged, suddenly looking a little shy.
You threw your arms around him, surprising him again. "You're so sweet. Thank you."
His face buried against your shoulder. "You like it?"
"I love it." You squeezed him tighter. "Seriously. I'm naming him Swim Shady."
He laughed. "That's genius."
"Thought you might like that. Don't think I forgot about your obsession with Eminem when you were twelve." You placed Swim Shady next to your stuffed shark, Sharkira, on the bed before stepping back beside him. "Aww, look at them. Besties for the resties, just like us."
That had him smiling stupidly wide once again "Yeah. They look happy."
You laughed, then looked over and noticed the way his eyes drifted downward... specifically, toward the matching two piece pj set you were wearing.
The exact same one from the night he'd climbed through your window the first time since you got back. The night you'd both been convinced something was going to happen until he accidentally fell asleep halfway through the movie.
"What?" you giggled, heat rushing to your cheeks.
JJ nodded once at you. "That outfit."
You looked down. "This outfit?"
"Yeah."
A grin slowly pulled at your mouth. "What about it?" you asked, tone turning a little more flirtatious, while still a little innocent.
He stepped closer, still staring at you in a way that you could almost feel physically. "It's just... cute. I was losin' my mind the first time I saw it."
"Yeah?"
"I'm serious. Couldn't concentrate on that movie for a damn second with you lookin' like that next to me." His hands found your waist, thumbs brushing slowly against the bare skin there. "You were really testin' my self control that night."
You completely melted into his touch. "I couldn't really concentrate either to be honest."
His brows raised. "Really?"
"Mm mm." You shook your head. "Really wanted something to happen actually. Took everything in me to not just crawl in your lap and kiss you."
He huffed out a laugh. "Damn... I would've loved that. Definitely would've woke me up a little."
You looped your arms around his neck. "Well... It's a good thing we don't have to worry about that anymore. Can do whatever we want to each other now."
The look that crossed JJ's face, like his brain completely stopped working, nearly made you laugh.
You looked up at him, eyes locked on his. "I can do anything I want to you right?"
He nodded slowly, swallowing. "Of course."
You stepped closer so there was barely any space between you now, smoothing your hands down the front of his shirt.
His eyes followed every movement.
"Good." You bit back a smile as you made a split second decision to be a little asshole. "You know what I'm about to do to you then?"
His mouth twitched. "What would that be?"
"Well..." you started, slowly fixing his necklace. "First... you're gonna get in my bed."
A grin spread across his face. "Sounds good so far."
"Then..." You lightly poked his chest. "You're gonna sit right there..."
"Uh huh."
"And..."
He waited, grip tightening.
"...You're gonna finally finish that damn movie with me."
JJ stared at you for maybe four seconds, blinking, before groaning like he was actually in pain. He still couldn't help but smile though.
"You're such a little punk, you know that?"
"You love me." You spun around and hopped onto your bed before grabbing your remote from your nightstand.
He had to stop himself from saying how true that actually was.
"Get over here, Jayj," you said, not even looking at him as you looked for the movie.
He laughed and began undoing the laces of his boots. "Yes, ma'am."
A moment later, he crawled onto your bed beside and pulled you against his side. You curled into him immediately and hit play, both of you smiling equally hard.
His fingertips slid under the waistband of your shorts to rest on your hip and you let out a happy hum. And, god, he loved the sound of it.
"We are never finishing this movie," he mumbled.
You laughed softly. "We can try."
JJ looked down at you and slowly ran his thumb back and forth along your hipbone. "First one to crack loses?"
You smirked up at him. "Sure. You're goin' down."
You tried to watch the movie.
Tried really really hard at that.
But JJ was so warm. And cuddling him was still new enough that it felt exciting every single time. And at one point his hand slid up under your top, then over your breast and just stayed there, just because he could.
You bit your lip as he squeezed it gently and tipped your head back to look at him.
He looked back.
Then smiled.
Goddammit.
You were in his lap before you could even think, kissing him hard and desperate, hand sliding between your thighs to rub him over his shorts.
"You lost," he choked out before tilting his head back into your pillow and letting out a quiet groan.
You tugged your top over your head, tossing it to the side before sliding down his body and fumbling with the button on his shorts.
"Don't care."
You pulled both them and his boxers down at once and began placing wet kisses up his thigh.
"Need you."
His hand flew to your hair as your tongue slid up his shaft.
"Ah! Holy shit. That's my girl... You can have me."
You smiled, pressing little kitten licks to his tip, not taking your eyes off his. "Feelin' like a winner?"
He groaned a little too loud as you took him in your mouth.
You had to pull back to shush him.
He winced apologetically and then tilted his head back again as your lips stretched back around him.
"Goddamn right I am."
By the time the credits rolled, you were underneath him, his chest pressed to your back and his uneven breaths hot against your ear as he murmured sweet little praises and cupped his hand over your mouth to keep you from being too loud.
A while later you, you were back curled up against his side, naked and sweaty and completely spent, your legs tangled with his beneath the sheets.
JJ was absentmindedly playing with your hair as you smiled sleepily. Then after a minute, you shifted closer and his arm tightened around you automatically.
He looked down.
Your eyes were closed now, your warm cheek pressed against his chest, and for a second he just stared, wondering for the billionth time how the actual hell he got so lucky.
His thumb brushed gently across your shoulder and before he even thought about it, the words left his mouth.
"I love you."
The second he said it, his eyes widened a bit.
You immediately looked up. "What?"
He looked horrified, like nothing in the world could've prepared him for accidentally saying it out loud.
"I–" His face went pink.
You stared at him, then your expression softened so much he forgot how to breathe.
"Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"Because I wasn't gonna say it like that." He laughed nervously. "I had a whole thing... I don't know. Maybe a sunset or somethin'. If I was more sure you did too."
"A sunset?"
"Yeah, a sunset... shut it."
You laughed harder.
He covered his face. "Oh my god."
"No," you smiled, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away. "JJ, hey. Look at me."
Reluctantly, he did.
You reached up to gently stroke his cheek with your thumb. "I love you too."
Everything in him seemed to stop for him.
"Yeah?"
You nodded. "Yeah. I love you a lot. More than a lot."
"Really?"
It took everything not to laugh at how shocked he looked, because why the hell wouldn't you?
"Really. I really love you."
The biggest, happiest smile you'd ever seen spread across his face, before it dropped just a bit and he shook his head. "Sorry that wasn't special... I swear it was supposed to be–"
"JJ. Stoppp." You groaned softly, laughing and burying your face in his chest again. "You're always apologizing for things not being special when they're so special."
He smiled at that and pressed a kiss into your hair. "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
"Sorry."
"Oh my god." You snorted. "You drive me insane."
He tilted your face up to look at him. "Guess we're even then."
You scooted up a little to kiss him. "Yeah. Guess so."
✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩𖦹⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩
Part 9 coming soon (probably the last part, who even knows anymore)
Pairing: Boyfriend!JJ Maybank x Routledge Cousin!Reader
Warnings: Smut, weed
Word Count: 3.6k
A/N: I lied AGAIN. There's gonna be one more part bc I like even numbers🤪 (And mainly because I realized how long it was gonna be)
Last part will be less smutty more plotty I promise
Series Masterlist
You didn't remember falling asleep for a second day in a row.
Sunlight knifed through the gaps in the driftwood, way too bright and already way too warm for that early in the morning.
Your legs hurt, probably from dancing so much last night, and the arm that you'd been crushing with your own body weight was completely asleep under you.
You groaned softly at the pounding in your head as you rolled over on JJ's bicep to face the other direction, snuggling into his chest without even registering what you were doing.
You frowned, eyes still closed.
Why is my pillow so fucking hard?
And why is my bed also so hard? And so... crunchy?
You blinked your eyes open and immediately remembered why.
JJ.
Your best friend.
And apparently your boyfriend now?
Not some joke or some silly game...
Actually your boyfriend.
A smile spread across your face instantly, butterflies fluttering through your entire body, not just stopping at your stomach.
You also began to notice the soreness between your thighs and the fact that you weren't wearing any underwear under your dress.
Not only did you have a boyfriend now... you'd lost your virginity. To JJ.
To the same boy you'd trusted to have your first kiss with years ago, and in the same exact spot.
Of course, in your drunken state, it had completely slipped your mind to tell him that little fun fact, which you didn't even realize yet.
You were suprisingly calm about it. You had always thought that when it happened it would feel like some crazy thing that you'd feel weird about afterwards, but it didn't feel weird at all. It actually just felt really right. Because if there had ever been a person you would've wanted it to be, it was him.
It had always been him.
You tipped your head back slightly to look at his face and you felt like your heart might actually explode in your chest. He looked so good it physically hurt, even with his mouth slightly open and his hair a mess of blond and the occasional leaf.
The movement made him stir. His nose scrunched and his arm tightened automatically around you.
You couldn't even help the way you started quietly giggling.
"Hmm what?" he mumbled, still half asleep.
You buried your face back against his chest to quiet yourself, a tiny bit nervous all of a sudden.
He slowly opened his eyes and for a moment he just stared straight up at the driftwood above him. Then he let out a laugh too.
"Oh my god."
You laughed harder. "Yep."
"We slept in the fort."
His sleepy voice made your stomach flip.
"We did."
He looked down at you and the laughter faded almost instantly, because it was his turn to remember now. To remember everything that had happened.
To remember how you tasted and how he made you sound and the way it felt to be inside you.
To remember that you were finally his.
If you still wanted to be.
He searched your eyes for any sign of discomfort, but all he saw was this girl he'd known almost his entire staring at him all doe eyed and completely open and so insanely gorgeous... even hungover with dirt on your cheek.
"Hey," he breathed, wiping off the dirt with his thumb.
Your stomach immediately flipped once again.
"Hey."
You smiled at each other, stunned but also so so sickeningly soft.
Finally JJ laughed quietly and shook his head. "I don't even 'member goin' to sleep."
You shook your head. "Me neither."
Eventually both of you sat up, wincing immediately.
"Ow."
"Ughh."
"Hungover?" he asked.
"What do you think?"
"Same."
You leaned against him and sighed.
For a minute, you both just sat there with your eyes closed, just listening to the wind rustle through the trees and trying to become relatively human again.
Then JJ glanced over. "You uh... you good?"
You looked up at him. "Hm? What do you mean?"
"Like…"His voice got quieter. " No regrets or anything?"
You shook your head. "Not at all."
The relief on his face was instant. "Good."
You nudged his shoulder. "What about you?"
He looked at you like you'd asked the dumbest question imaginable, then smiled. "No regrets."
You laughed softly. "Good."
"Good."
Neither of you looked away.
Then JJ squinted at you slightly. "So..."
You immediately started smiling. "So."
His grin got bigger even though you could still see some uncertainty in it. "You're my girlfriend now?"
The butterflies in your stomach went absolutely insane. "I said I was, didn't I?"
"Okay. Just checkin'."
You both sat there smiling for another few seconds.
Then you tried to swallow and groaned pitifully out of nowhere. "I need waterrrr."
He nodded in agreement. "So much water."
"And a shower."
"Oh yeah."
You fiddled with a twig on the ground. "You uh... you wanna shower with me... since you're my boyfriend and all?"
JJ nearly tripped over himself trying to answer.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'll shower with you. Sure."
You giggled at the way he was obviously trying to play it cool, nerves and excitement filling your belly all at once because even though you'd had sex now, you'd still never been fully naked in front of him. "Cool."
"Cool."
You glanced over at the condom wrapper in the leaves and pointed at it, trying not to laugh. "You gonna keep that wrapper too?"
JJ followed your gaze and at first he looked confused, then he started laughing. "Oh yeah, totally."
You snorted. "Yeah?"
"Yep. Good idea." He nodded seriously. "That's definitely goin' in the box."
You shook your head. "Special memory?"
"It's a very special memory."
You laughed and leaned back against him. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and squeezed.
A minute later JJ picked up his phone and tried to turn it on but it was very much dead . "Oop. RIP."
You checked yours. "9:30 am" You swiped down your notifications and winced a little. "John B called me at 1 am."
JJ winced too. "You should probably call him back."
"Probably."
John B answered almost instantly.
"Alive?"
"Barely."
"Good."
You laughed. "We fell asleep in the woods."
"You slept in the woods," he repeated like it was some inside joke.
"You owe me ten bucks, Pope! Run me my money!" you heard Cleo yell in the background, followed by Kiara and Sarah yelling and squealing like actual psychos.
You buried your face in your hand. "Yep."
Sarah grabbed the phone. "You guys have funnnn?"
"Yeah..." You looked over at JJ. "We had fun."
He immediately had to look away to hide his smile.
John B groaned and grabbed the phone back. "Please spare the details. I'm begging."
You laughed again. "Okay."
"You headed here soon?"
"Yeah. And probably straight back to sleep."
You looked over at JJ and he smiled, absolutely loving that idea. Not just the idea of going back to sleep, but cuddling you in his own bed, fresh out the shower, didn't sound bad at all.
"Okay. Hand the phone to JJ."
You handed it over.
JJ lifted it to his ear. "Mornin'."
There was a pause, then JJ started laughing.
"No promises."
Another pause.
"Okay, okay. My bad. You won’t. No problemo."
John B hung up.
JJ lowered the phone and handed it back to you.
"What'd he say?"
"He said if he hears a single suspicious sound coming from my room today, I'm getting evicted."
You immediately doubled over laughing as you shoved the phone in your dress pocket. "Understandable."
He crawled out of the fort and stood, groaning like an eighty year old man before offering you his hand.
You let him pull you up, dusted yourself off as best you could and smiled up at him.
He smiled back, picking a leaf out of your hair.
For a second neither of you moved, then you leaned up and kissed him softly and somehow his smile got even bigger.
"Don’t think I’ll ever get used to this."
"Well, you’re gonna have to," you murmured, kissing him again.
He laughed and laced his fingers through yours. "Come on. Let's get this walk over with."
When you stepped into the Chateau, you immediately heard laughter coming from the kitchen.
"They're all still here," you mumbled.
"Sounds like it," JJ mumbled back.
You closed your eyes and let out a breath through your nose. Between the hangover, the lack of sleep, you were in no condition to be interrogated by five people.
The second you stepped into the kitchen, the conversation died.
You made a beeline for the sink, leaning over and chugging water straight from the faucet. Maybe the best water that you'd ever drank in your entire life.
Everybody noticed how dirty the back of your dress was... very obviously from your back being pushed repeatedly against the forest floor.
John B looked down at his plate and shook his head slowly.
JJ just watched you drink with a tiny smile.
You finally pulled away and wiped your mouth and he immediately took your place. Then you glanced around the room to see everybody staring just like they had been after the kiss at the bonfire.
"Good morning."
Kiara grinned ear to ear. "Gooood morninggg."
"Mornin', cuz," John B nodded.
You could barely look at him.
"So..." you said awkwardly. "How'd y'all sleep?"
Pope snorted. "Probably better than you two by the looks of it."
You rolled your eyes.
Cleo laughed. "You look like you just got voted off Survivor."
"Or Naked and Afraid," Sarah smirked.
John B immediately squinted at her, not wanting, for a second to think about his cousin naked... and very much not afraid.
You looked away, smiling a little.
JJ finally finished drinking water and sighed happily. "Actually slept pretty good. Was super cozy, honestly." He rolled his shoulders. "My back kinda hurts though."
You giggled.
"Sooo…"Kiara said. " Are you guys official or was that pretend too?"
You looked at JJ.
He looked at you.
You nodded. "Yeah. We're for real now."
"Aww," Sarah said quietly.
Everybody couldn't help but smile at that.
Kiara pointed at both of you. "You know, when y'all have your barefoot beach wedding someday, you should probably thank Rafe."
You immediately laughed. "Honestly."
JJ groaned and stole a piece of sausage off her plate, shoving it into his mouth. "Hell nope." Then he washed it down with some of Pope's orange juice.
"I'm serious," Kiara shrugged. "Without Rafe, none of this would've happened."
JJ glared at her.
You snorted. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
"That's a great idea," Sarah teased.
"I was thinking the same thing," JJ added, following you.
John B immediately pointed at him. "JJ."
JJ stopped and turned back halfway. "What?"
"Remember what I said."
He sighed dramatically. "I gotchu bro. Wouldn't wanna get evicted."
You couldn't stop laughing as JJ threw an arm around your shoulders and guided you down the hallway.
He grabbed you both some clothes from his room and the bathroom door shut behind you.
You peeled off your dirty dress first, letting it pool at your feet and JJ couldn't help but just look as he set the clothes by the sink.
When you reached behind you to unclasp your bikini top, his hands came up to stop you.
"Let me," he said.
You smiled. "Ok."
He undid the clasp and slid the straps down your shoulders, and then you were standing in front of him in nothing but your bottoms.
You tugged them down, hands a little shaky with how vulnerable you felt being completely naked in front of him, but when you turned and saw the way he was looking at you–- all awestruck and a little dazed– your nerves vanished completely.
"What?"
"You’re just–"He shook his head, a disbelieving laugh escaping him. " You’re really fucking beautiful. You know that? Like, I knew that. But I didn’t–I couldn’t–"He gestured vaguely at all of you. " This is different."
Your cheeks burned. " Thank you."
"I’m serious... look at you." His hands found your waist, thumbs tracing the curve of your hips.
"Your turn," you said softly.
He stripped fast. No ceremony. He tugged off his shirt. Then his shorts and boxers hit the floor and he was standing in front of you, all muscle and tan skin and and half hard.
"Okay,"you managed, before smiling and chewing on your lip for a second. "Yeah. Wow."
He laughed softly. "Shut up."
"What? I can't say how pretty my boyfriend's dick is?"
He almost groaned at how you said that, ears turning pink. "Actually, yeah, you can say that as much as you want."
You laughed and reached into the shower, turning to knob. JJ's eyes scanned your body shamelessly as you reached in and tested the water wondering how the hell he got so lucky.
Inside the shower, you couldn't stop smiling at each other, all sleepy and fascinated by the fact that this was a thing that you could do now.
JJ helped wash your hair. Then you helped him wash his. You soaped your hands and ran them over his chest, his back, his stomach, learning the topography of him. He did the same, palms sliding over your breasts, your ribs, down to the curve of your ass.
Then you spent the rest of the time kissing soft and slow, letting the warm water run over you as your hands explored and pulled quiet, happy noises out of each other.
"Could do this all day," he murmured against your ear.
"Then do it."
Afterward, you both got dressed, even though you knew it was only a matter of time before everything came off again.
You caught his eyes in the bathroom mirror while you tugged the oversized shirt down and it was obvious, by the look on his face, how much he loved seeing you in his clothes. And when your eyes met in the mirror, his smile got even bigger.
After the shower, when you finally collapsed onto his unmade bed, he immediately pulled you against his chest. He pressed a kiss to your head and let his lips linger there for a moment.
"How’s your head?" he asked.
"Not great. Yours?"
"Worse." He grinned a little. "Last night was worth it, though."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I think so too." You looked up at him and smiled. " I’m really glad my first time was with you."
He went still. "Wait…your... your what?"
You froze. "Oh. Um."
"Whoahh, wait wait wait... Your first time?" He pulled back, eyes wide. "That was your first time?"
"I...Yeah?"
"I didn’t– fuck, Y/N, you were a virgin?" He sat up, running a hand through his wet hair, looking absolutely horrified. "We did it in the dirt. In a pile of leaves. You were a virgin and I fucked you on the forest floor like some–like some–"
"JJ." You grabbed his arm, trying not to smile too hard at how much he cared. "Stop. It's okay."
He shook his head. "I should’ve asked. I should’ve done it right. A bed, candles, something–"
"JJ." You pulled him back down, forcing him to look at you. "It was perfect."
"You don’t have to say that–"
"I'm not saying it because I have to. I’m saying it because it was." You cupped his face, thumbs brushing his cheekbones. "It felt really right. It was exactly how it was supposed to be."
He stared at you, jaw tight. "You sure?"
"I’m sure. You were so good to me. I loved every second of it." You kissed him. "Now stop freaking out and kiss me."
He kissed you, slow and deep, and the tension began to bleed out of him as his hand found your waist under his shirt. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
"I just– you deserved better."
"I got you."You pulled back, looking him dead in the eyes. "That's better than anything."
His eyes dropped for a second and he let out the smallest laugh, almost embarrassed by how happy that made him. Then he pulled you closer and kissed you again before he could say something stupid and ruin the moment.
And the way he kissed you said everything.
The rest of the day dissolved into a haze of tangled sheets and bare skin and the two of you learning each other in ways you weren't able to before.
He took his time now, his hands mapping every inch of you, his mouth following, learning what made you gasp and squirm and arch your back and what made you grab the pillow and bite down.
"Right there?" he asked, fingers curling inside you perfectly.
"Right there–oh god, JJ–"
He grinned against your stomach. "Thought so."
He made you come twice before noon. Once with his mouth and once with his fingers, and by the time he finally pushed inside you, you were already wrecked and trembling, your cheeks pink and eyes hooded.
"Okay?" he whispered.
"So okay."
He fucked you slow. Missionary first, his forehead pressed to yours and your cheek cupped in his hand as he watched your face. Then he rolled onto his back and pulled you on top, hugging you to his chest and planting his feet on the bed as he began to roll his hips upward.
"That's it. I know you're tired, baby. Don't gotta do nothin', just lay there and let me do all the work, ok?"
You let out a happy hum and nodded against him. "Ok."
His hips rolled upward, slow and deep and you immediately let out a sound that almost made his eyes roll back.
"Feel that?" His voice was strained, barely controlled. "That's all for you. Only you."
"Yeah?" you breathed.
"Yeah. And you're all mine, aren't you?"
You whimpered. "All yours Jayj."
Another slow roll of his hips. Another deep stroke that had your fingers curling against his chest. Another withdrawal leaving you aching before he filled you again.
"God, you feel so good," he whispered. "So tight. So fucking perfect around me."
"Harder."
"You want harder?"
"Please." The word came out broken and desperate.
His pace increased and it took everything in you not to be loud.
You didn't want him to get "evicted."
The sound of skin against skin filled the small room, mingling with your shared quiet moans. His mouth found your jaw, the corner of your lips, your ear.
"You like that, sweetheart?" His voice was rough. "You like the way I fill you up?"
"Yes. God, yes."
"That's it," he managed through clenched teeth. "That's my girl. All mine."
You kissed him hard, tongue sliding against his, warm and wet. He groaned into your mouth. Soft whimpers escaped you at each impossibly deep thrust.
You pulled back to breath after a minute and pressed your forehead against his. "Holy shit."
"Yeah? Takin' me so good, pretty girl. You were made for me, weren't you? Made to fit me like this."
You nodded. "JJ–I'm–"
"I know, baby. I can feel you." His hips snapped upward, faster now, chasing it. "Come on, princess. Gonna come with you ok?"
You nodded against his neck as he hugged you tighter against him.
He thrust up a few more times before burying himself into you, as you both came in unison. You had to cover your mouth to keep quiet, grinding down on him now to ride it out.
After who knows how long, you rolled off of him and laid there, still trying to catch your breath. You looked at each other and smiled before he pulled you against his chest and kissed your temple.
"Goddamn," JJ breathed, eyes shut.
You giggled.
He blinked one eye open, still smiling. "What?"
"That was just... really good," you mumbled, burying your face against his shoulder.
His smile widened. "Yeah, it was."
"Yeah." You nodded very seriously. "I think I like sex."
JJ laughed loudly at this and you couldn't help but laugh too. "You think?"
"Mmhm, I might."
"Glad I was able to help you discover that."
You smiled into his chest. "Me too."
His arms tightened around you. That made him happier than you even knew.
A few minutes later, you felt his breathing slow. You tilted your head up, half asleep yourself. "Jayj?"
"Hm?"
"I like being your girlfriend."
The sleepy smile that crossed his face was immediate. "I like being your boyfriend."
You kissed his jaw once and let your eyes flutter shut, and again, neither of you remembered falling asleep after that.
You woke up a few hours later and smiled immediately when you felt JJ's arms wrapped tight around you, his chest pressed against your back.
You laid there just enjoying the closeness until eventually your stomach growled. Loud.
JJ, who had also already woke up, immediately started laughing, his chest shaking against you.
"I'm hungry," you mumbled.
"Sounds like it."
The two of you finally reluctantly dragged yourselves out of bed and got dressed before heading towards the kitchen.
"Oh my god. They're alive." Sarah said from the couch, where she and John B were sat watching a movie.
"We're hungry," you announced.
John B pointed toward the kitchen. "There's still some four day old pizza."
"Oh, hell yeah," you both said at once.
Sarah wrinkled her nose. "Gross."
After eating, you and JJ ended up outside in the hammock with a joint and then enjoyed another hour of doing absolutely nothing.
You sighed, peaking over at the sunset over the marsh. "I guess I should head home."
JJ frowned. "You have to?"
"I have work tomorrow. I need clothes." You looked down at the way JJ's t-shirt and shorts were swallowing your body. "I'm not going dressed like Adam Sandler."
He laughed. "You make a super cute Adam Sandler though... creepy old dudes would be makin' it rain on you for sure."
You giggled. "You think?"
"Yeah, it would probably be your best tip day yet." He was quiet for a second before nudging your shoulder. "Salty Scoops after?"
Your face lit up. "I'd love that. I can't wait."
He nodded and kissed your temple. "Sweet. Me neither."
You tried to say goodbye, but then one kiss turned into two. Then three. Then ten. Then you were both laughing because neither of you could stop.
"Go home," JJ said, patting your ass, even though it was the last thing he wanted.
"You go home."
"I live here."
"Whatever." You kissed him one more time and headed for your bike.
JJ sat on the porch couch watching.
You smiled and waved.
He waved back, smiling harder.
And then he laid there long after you'd disappeared down the road, the last day replaying through his head in a loop feeling like some ridiculous daydream. And for maybe the first time in his life, JJ couldn't find a single goddamn thing to complain about.
He began counting down the hours until he'd get to see you again.
Pairing: Best Friend!JJ Maybank x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1,400 words
Warnings: Panic attacks/anxiety depiction, bullying (Kook vs. Pogue), mild verbal altercation, etc.
Vibe: Heavy hurt/comfort, soft JJ, pogue loyalty, and prom night disasters.
Want to see more from polaroidpankow? Check out my masterlist.
———————————————————————————————————
The salt air usually thinned out your anxiety, but today, it felt like it was sticking to your lungs. You were sitting on the edge of the Chateau’s porch, watching the marsh grass sway. Meanwhile, Sarah and Kie hovered over a stack of glossy magazines like they were plotting a heist.
“Y/N, seriously,” Kie said, leaning forward. “It’s senior prom… the last big hurrah. You have to go.”
“I don’t even like dancing,” you muttered, picking at a loose splinter on the floorboards. “And I don’t have a date. I’d be a total downer there. I’d get in my head and ruin the vibe for everyone.”
Across the yard, you saw JJ. He was leaning against the HMS Pogue, tinkering with the engine. He caught your eye and flashed that crooked, reckless grin that always made your heart do a weird little somersault. You looked away immediately, your cheeks flushing. You didn’t want to admit it–especially not to the girls–but the thought of JJ seeing you in a dress, or worse, seeing you have a panic attack in the middle of a gym, was enough to make you want to hide under the porch.
—————————————————————————————————
Two days later, you were hauled over to The Wreck under the guise of “inventory.” Instead, you found JJ standing in the dining room, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“Hey, Y/N,” he said, his voice scratchier than usual. He stepped into your personal space, bringing in the smell of salt and peppermint. “So… look. The girls have been chirping in my ear. And I realized… I don’t have a date. And you don’t have a date.”
Your breath hitched. “JJ–”
“Wait,” he said, pulling a single, slightly crumpled yellow daisy from behind his back. “I know you hate the perfect prom thing… I do too. But if you go with me, we don’t have to fake it. If you start feelin’ like the walls are closing in, we’ll bail. Give me a chance to show you a good time?”
You felt the corners of your mouth twitch. “You’re a real piece of work, Maybank. Fine… yes. I’ll go to prom with you.”
——————————————————————————————————
The afternoon of prom, Sarah’s bedroom was a chaotic sanctuary. The air was thick with hairspray and the light, citrusy aroma of the snacks Mrs. Carrera had sent over–fresh fruit skewers and sparkling cider that we sipped from fancy glass flutes.
“Stop moving, Y/N! I’m trying to pin this curl,” Kie laughed, nudging me back into the vanity chair.
“I’m just… I’m rambling, I know,” I said, my hands fidgeting with a silk robe. “What if I freeze up? What if JJ realizes he’d rather be there with someone who isn’t constantly checking for the nearest exit? I don’t want to ruin his night.”
Sarah stepped in front of you, taking your hands in hers. “Y/N… look at me. JJ didn’t ask you because he wanted a perfect prom. He asked you because he wanted a night with you. You aren’t putting him off; you’re the only reason he’s even putting on a tie.”
When the door finally opened, the boys were standing in the hallway, looking completely out of their element in stiff suits. John B. was adjusting his cuffs, looking at Sarah like she was the only girl in the world. Pope stood next to Kie, looking nervous but proud, a small corsage box in his hand.
Then there was JJ.
The moment I stepped out from behind the vanity, his jaw actually dropped. He stopped mid-sentence, his blue eyes widening as they swept over the emerald silk dress. He looked incredible–his wild hair tamed just enough, his suit jacket broad across the shoulders.
“Whoa,” he breathed as a slow, genuine smile spread across his face. “Y/N… you look… I don’t even have a damn word for it.”
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Maybank,” I whispered, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.
“I look like I’m going to court,” he joked, stepping forward to take your hand. “But for you? I’ll suffer the tie.”
—————————————————————————————————
The gymnasium was a sensory nightmare. The bass rattled your ribs, and the strobe lights felt like physical hits. JJ didn’t skip a beat. He stepped in front of you, his large hand enveloping yours. He didn’t pull; he anchored.
We reached the Pogues’ corner, but the peace was short-lived. Ruthie appeared, her pink gown shimmering with malice. “Is that actually silk, Y/N?” she sneered, holding a cup of red punch. “You look so… tense. Let me help get that look off your face.”
Before JJ could intervene, she tilted the cup. The cold, sticky liquid splashed across your face and soaked your dress. The world went silent. My breath hitched into a jagged sob as the panic took over.
JJ didn’t swing at Ruthie. He stepped between us, his eyes turning to cold flint. “You’re pathetic, Ruthie,” he said with a chilling calm. “Walk away… now. Before I forget that I’m a gentleman.”
He turned to me instantly, taking my face in his hands. “Y/N, hey… look at me. It’s only sugar water. It’s okay.”
The rest of the group swarmed us. Sarah was grabbing napkins, and John B. looked ready to start a riot. “We’re good,” JJ said, his voice steady. “I think we’re gonna head out early, though.”
—————————————————————————————————
The sky had opened up into a deluge. JJ held his suit jacket over your head as the two of you scrambled to his truck, the rain turning the world into a gray smudge. You and JJ ended up at The Wreck, the neon sign flickering through the downpour.
Inside, the diner was nearly empty. You were wrapped in JJ's damp, warm jacket, shivering as the adrenaline left your system. JJ went into overdrive, trying to distract you.
“I’m tellin’ you, Y/N… the raccoon at the Chateau has a plan. He’s definitely a Kook spy,” JJ joked, waving a bacon-covered fry around. “I saw him wearing a tiny polo shirt last week. It was… disturbing.”
You laughed, but your eyes stayed on the red stain on your lap. “It’s not just the dress, JJ,” you whispered, my voice crackling. “It’s… school. It’s the way people like Ruthie look at me like I’m something they stepped in. Sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting for the next thing to go wrong. It’s exhausting, constantly fighting my own brain and people who want to see me fail.”
JJ’s face softened, his playful demeanor shifting into something fierce and protective. He reached across the table, taking your hand. “Listen to me. School is just a building full of people who don’t know who they are yet. And Ruthie? She’s miserable. That’s why she tries to share it.”
He squeezed your hand. “You’re the strongest person I know, Y/N. You deal with stuff inside your head every day that would break most of those Kooks in an hour. Don’t let ‘em make you feel small. You’re a Pogue, you… you’re my Pogue. And that means you’re untouchable.”
You looked at him, the weight in your chest finally beginning to lift. “You really think so?”
“Yeah… I do,” JJ said firmly.
He stood up then, his eyes twinkling. “And since we didn’t get to dance…” He had Mike put on a slow, soulful song. We moved to the middle of the empty restaurant. JJ pulled you close, your head resting on his shoulder. You two swayed in the dim light, the rain drumming against the windows.
—————————————————————————————————
The drive home was quiet. When he pulled into your driveway, he jogged around to open your door, leading you up to the porch. You turned to him, feeling a sudden surge of emotion.
“JJ, I… thank you, for… everything. I was so scared today, but you made me feel safe. You made me happy, even with fruit punch in my hair.”
JJ played it off with a shrug and a lopsided grin. “Hey, it wasn’t a big deal, Y/N… honestly. I just wanted to make sure you had a little fun.”
You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug. He held you back for a moment, his hand rubbing gentle strokes on the small of your back.
“Goodnight, JJ,” you whispered.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
As you stepped inside and the door clicked shut, you realized that JJ Maybank could be the perfect guy for you. Maybe prom had been pretty perfect after all.
The salt air is thick, sticking to your skin in a way that usually feels like a hug from the island itself, but tonight, it feels heavy–like lead weights pulling at your shoulders. The crackle of the driftwood fire at the Chateau is the only thing cutting through the oppressive silence in your head.
You are sitting on the sand, tucked between JJ’s legs as he leans back against an old, weathered log. His chest is a solid, warm presence behind you, and his arms are draped loosely over your shoulders, his fingers mindlessly tracing patterns against your collarbone. To anyone else, you look like the picture of Pogue peace. But inside, your brain is a short-circuiting wire.
The insomnia has been a cruel thief lately. It’s been four days since you had more than two consecutive hours of sleep. When you close your eyes, the anxiety doesn’t just whisper; it screams, replaying every mistake, every fear, and every “what if” until the sun creeps through your blinds. The depression follows it like a shadow, making your limbs feel like they’re filled with cement and your mind feel like it’s trapped in a thick, grey fog.
“Earth to Princess,” JJ’s voice vibrates against your back, low and honey-thick. “You still with us?”
You blink, realizing you’ve been staring at the same blue flame in the center of the fire for ten minutes. Across the circle, John B. and Sarah are sharing a marshmallow, their laughter light and easy. Pope and Kiara are debating something about the tides, their voices a muffled hum that you can’t quite process.
“Yeah,” you breathe out, but the word catches. Your voice sounds small, even to your own ears. “Just thinking.”
“Dangerous pastime,” JJ jokes, but his hand stops moving on your skin. He shifts, leaning forward to get a better look at your face in the flickering firelight.
You try to offer a smile, but your facial muscles feel unresponsive. Your eyelids are drooping, burning with a desperate need to close, yet every time they flutter shut, a jolt of panicked adrenaline hits your chest, forcing them back open. It’s a miserable cycle–being too exhausted to function but too wired to rest.
“You’re swaying, baby,” JJ murmurs, his tone losing its edge of humor and replacing it with that rare, soft sincerity he only saves for you.
“I’m fine, J. Just… it’s the fire. It’s hypnotic.”
But you aren’t fine. As the conversation continues around you, the world starts to tilt. The sound of the crashing waves begins to overlap with the Pogues’ voices until it’s all just one loud, confusing roar. Your head lolls back, hitting JJ’s shoulder. You feel like you’re drifting out to sea, the anchor of your consciousness finally slipping.
JJ’s arm tightens around your waist, pulling you flush against him so you don’t slump into the sand. “Hey,” he whispers into your hair, his breath warm against your temple. “Talk to me. When’s the last time you actually slept? Not just lying there, but slept?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice cracking. “Monday, maybe? I can’t get my brain to shut up, JJ. It’s so loud.”
You feel him stiffen slightly, the protective instinct that defines him humming through his body. He knows the feeling–maybe for different reasons, given the ghosts that haunt the Maybank house–but he knows the weight of a mind that won’t give you a break.
John B. looks up, surprised. “Already? The fire’s just getting good, man.”
“Rain check, Bird,” JJ says, already shifting to help you stand. “The girl’s running on fumes, and I’m about three seconds away from falling asleep myself. Too much sun.”
Kiara looks at you, her eyes softening with immediate understanding. She sees the dark circles under your eyes that the firelight couldn’t hide. “Get some rest, okay? Call us tomorrow.”
JJ doesn’t wait for a long goodbye. He keeps his arm firmly around your waist, basically carrying half your weight as he guides you toward his bike. The walk feels like a mile, each step requiring a Herculean effort. By the time he helps you into the sidecar, you’re shaking–the kind of fine tremor that comes from pure, unadulterated exhaustion.
“I didn’t mean to ruin the night,” you mumble as he kicks the engine over.
JJ pauses, looking down at you. He reaches out, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. “You didn’t ruin anything. If anything, you gave me an excuse to get you all to myself. Now, lean back. Close your eyes. I’ve got you.”
The ride to your house is a blur of wind and the smell of salt and gasoline. You keep your eyes closed, trusting the sound of the engine and the way JJ occasionally reaches back to rest a hand on your shoulder, making sure you’re still there.
When you arrive, he doesn’t just drop you at the door. He walks you inside, the house quiet and dark. He leads you straight to your bedroom, not saying a word as he watches you collapse onto the edge of the bed. You’re too tired to even kick off your shoes.
“Hey, hey,” JJ softens his voice, kneeling on the floor between your knees. “Let’s get the shoes off, yeah? And the hoodie. Put on the soft one.”
He moves with a gentle efficiency you wouldn’t expect from someone so chaotic. He peels off your sneakers, helps you swap your sandy hoodie for an oversized one of his that smells like his cologne and laundry detergent. Then, he pulls back the covers.
“JJ, you don’t have to stay,” you whisper, even as you crawl into the cool sheets. “You should go back to the Chateau.”
“Not a chance,” he says, climbing in beside you. He pulls the duvet up over both of you and immediately pulls you into his chest.
You rest your head in the crook of his neck, your nose pressed against the warm skin of his throat. His heartbeat is steady–thump, thump, thump. It’s the most grounding sound in the world.
“My brain is still doing it,” you confess into the dark, your voice muffled by his shirt. “I’m scared to close my eyes because I know the thoughts are waiting.”
JJ starts to run his fingers through your hair, a slow, rhythmic motion from your forehead to the nape of your neck. “Then don’t think about the thoughts. Listen to me. Just listen to my voice, okay?”
He starts to talk. He doesn’t talk about the gold or the Ward Camerons of the world. He tells you about a boat he saw today at the marsh—a sleek, ridiculous thing that he’s decided the two of you are going to “borrow” one day. He describes the color of the water at three in the afternoon, how it looks like melted sapphire.
“We’re gonna get a place where the walls are made of glass,” he murmurs, his voice dropping into a low, soothing cadence. “So you can see the stars from bed. No neighbors, no noise. Just the sound of the wind. And I’ll get you those fancy blackout curtains, the ones that make it feel like midnight even at noon, so you can sleep whenever you want.”
His hand hasn’t stopped moving. The repetitive motion, combined with the low rumble of his voice, is finally starting to douse the fire in your brain.
“You still there?” he whispers.
“Mmhmm,” you hum, the sound vibrating against him. Your limbs feel heavy, but for the first time in days, it’s a good heavy. It’s the weight of relaxation, not the weight of despair.
“Good. You’re safe. Nothing’s gonna happen while I’m here.” He presses a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “I’m gonna stay right here. Every time you wake up, I’m gonna be here. You can’t lose me, and you can’t fail me.”
He shifts slightly, tucking his chin over your head. The warmth of his body is like a physical barrier against the coldness of the depression that’s been stalking you.
“Close ‘em, Princess,” he whispers.
And finally, you do. You let your eyes shut, and instead of the usual spike of anxiety, there is only JJ. There is the smell of his shirt, the pressure of his arms, and the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing.
As your breathing finally slows and evens out into the deep, rhythmic pattern of true sleep, JJ doesn’t move. He stays awake for a long time, watching the way the tension finally leaves your face, holding you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters.
the scent of smoke and whiskey fills in the air of jj’s club, jazz music playing softly in the background. the red velvet, the black, the gold, everything so chic and of course every head turned when jj walked in just like always, although he wasn’t alone tonight.
he was with you.
you have your hair curled and done all pretty, glossy lips and a dress much too delicate for this joint. paired with the cutest heels and the ridiculously expensive fur coat jj had bought you only last week.
he leans closer into your ear “my angel, most beautiful fuckin’ girl here” he murmurs into your ear making you blush, you always did when he praised you.
which he did offen.
“table in the back, keep the the fucking vultures away from her” he says firmly as he warns his men.
currently, you were alone. for just a second, just long enough for jj to step over to the bar and talk to someone about business as he orders a whiskey on the rocks for himself and a simple virgin pinacolada for you, he lights a cigarette and balances it between his lips.
two men sit across from you, one in a brown colored tailored suit the other in navy, both of them looked older than you, maybe mid thirties? one leaned close, taking a swig of his cheap beer, “didn’t know jj was into babysitting” he lets out a scoff sounding laugh. “or are you just here to warm his lap… huh, sweet cheeks?” the other one just smirks. you freeze up, nerves washing over you, unsure about what to do. “come on, girl why don’t you warm up my lap?” he says.
the moment jj saw those men’s prying eyes on his beautiful angel he flew across the bar in seconds.
“the fuck did you just say to my girl?” he says, grabbing the one in brown by his suit. “boss” rafe speaks, stepping behind jj, rafe is one of jj’s men. his most trusted. “no.” jj warns causing rafe to take a slight step back, knowing not to interfere especially not when it came to you.
jj turns back to the man he currently has by the collar, “you don’t have the balls to repeat what you said to her to me… do ya, tough guy?” he says with a dry smirk. when the guy goes to speak, jj doesn’t even give him the chance to, he’s on him within five seconds, his ringed, clutched tight fist goes straight to the guys face, over and over, his other hand still clutching his suit jacket to keep him upright, allowing him to land more punches.
“you look at her, you’re fucking dead okay? you so much as breathe near her, you can count that as your last fucking breath alright?” he spits. the guy is now panting, his face is a total mess, covered in his own blood and swelling rapidly.
he grabs his face, “apologize like the weak little man you are” he says, forcing the guy to look at you, your eyes wide and scared as jj forces the guys beat up face to you. “sorry” he mumbles, barely able to speak or breathe as he tries to catch his breath, jj picks him up, throwing him to the floor.
he turns to the other man who’d been smirking along. “where’d your smirk go… huh?” jj chuckles sounding amused, he picks up one of the beer bottle’s they’d been drinking from, he smashes it on the table and holds it to the guys face instantly. threatening him with the now, sharp and broken glass bottle.
“you take your cheap, nasty beer, your lowlife buddy and get the fuck out of here before i kill you both… got that?” he says, his gun in his waistband glinting threateningly. the guy nods faster than humanly possible as he stands up.
john b drags them both out.
“you… you get the fuck out too!” jj shouts, to a guy literally sitting there, but maybe it was cause he’d looked just a little too long at jj, blinked too fast… who knows, jj could snap within seconds when it comes to his angel.
he sits himself down, pulling a cigarette out of the pack he’d had in his suit pocket. “you okay, baby?” he asks casually, as if he hadn’t just beaten and turned a man’s face into pulp.
you just nod, quiet and loyal like always. he smirks, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “alright…” he clears his throat, sitting up straighter as he leans over to pick up the deck of cards.
as they play, him and his men… they laugh, they drink, they smoke. he pulls you on to his lap.
you’re there, listening, smiling, helping him play after he teaches you the basics of each game, he kisses your cheek every now and then, just reminding you that he’s there… and that he’s got you, and nothing about that is ever gonna change.
“you keepin’ us lucky, sweetheart?” rafe teases. you smile, sweet and untouchable “uh huh.”
jj wraps an arm tighter around your waist at that little hum you did. “she’s more than lucky,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “she’s the whole reason i don’t burn this whole fucking place down.” you giggle quietly, playing with the chain bracelet around his wrist.
“you don’t gotta be good for anyone else. just me, angel.” he mumbles into your ear.
you’d learned pretty quickly what jj’s life was like. it was dangerous but he was the danger. never in your life would you have pictured yourself with the head of the biggest organized crime family in the outerbanks.
you liked the lifestyle he lived. though some of his decisions were maybe a little too crazy for you, he kept his people safe. his men and you.
jj didn’t have a family, no mother no father and that started when he was young, in his teens. two older italian men who were in their own organized crime group had took him in and introduced him to this lifestyle he now lives, and he took it over.
everyone knew jj. everyone knew never to talk down to jj. they knew to respect him and he’d respect them back.
jj would talk for hours on loyalty and respect because it’s what he lived by. he adores how respectful and loyal you are, from the moment he met you in that little diner he saw your cute hands adorned with bracelets and rings… with a bandage after a small burn incident from hot water, he almost shot the manager and sent men to burn the place into the ground, but instead he chose the more calm option and got you to quit.
you heard a lot of “you’re too beautiful to work, baby, you gotta let me take care of you okay?” and a whole lot more of “you need money? angel i’ll give you every dollar in my wallet, whatever you need.” he deeply deeply cared about you. it wasn’t control it was the certain need to give you the most peaceful life, he wanted to take care of you everyday, it felt rewarding to him. genuinely.
he’s obsessed with you in ways he can’t even explain.
in ways he’s never felt before.
that night he has business to do, the same business he was discussing at the bar earlier. he takes you home first, to his house and doesn’t come back until late.
jj has always been this soft, caring, possessive man when it came to you and you only.
to everyone else he was intimidating, violent and wouldn’t hesitate to raise his powerful fists. but sometimes? when jj and you had arguments, that scary man slipped through the cracks of the wall he’d built to protect you. and right now? it was slipping hard and fast.
jj came home from the business he had with blood splattered over his dress shirt, his knuckles are raw and his gun and jacket strewn across the countertop.
you’re standing there in front of him, baby doll dress all pretty and neat, hair curled and falling down your back now let down from earlier.
“angel, look-“ he sighs, running the back of his hand over his face.
“i don’t like the blood! everytime i feel like—“ he cuts you off instantly. “it’s not mine, it’s not mine” he says, cupping your cheeks. you sob, sure you knew it wasn’t his now, but it’s the shock of seeing all the blood when he gets home… the worry incase one day the blood does belong to him.
the sobs cause your body to shake, you shove his hands away, trying to calm yourself down, it’s scary seeing the man you love come home in blood… his “job” isn’t exactly the safest, there are men who would hang his head with pride as a hunter would his taxidermy.
when you shoved his hands away his eyebrows furrowed instantly and suddenly he looks mad. mad that you can’t just calm down. “it’s not mine, why are you upset?” he says, his voice snappy and his jaw tight.
“it still scares me!” you sob, pushing his hand away again as you wipe your tears.
“don’t fucking push my hand again.” he snaps, his voice sharp and demanding as he grips your jaw, tight enough to leave bruises. you jump slightly, he’s never sounded so stern with you before.
his hand covers your mouth firmly. “you don’t push me away? remember your goddamn place, got that?” his voice raises loudly, his eyes burning into yours, his face so close you can smell the whiskey and cigarettes on his breath.
“pushing me away?” he chuckles dryly, “i’ll tell you who’s fucking in control.” he snaps, throwing his whiskey glass at the wall, you gasp, covering your head with your arms, ducking out of the way as it smashes against the kitchen wall.
he shoves your face away, making you stumble backwards, his hands are so tightly clenched, his body so tense as he storms out, slamming the front door behind him.
you hear his engine rev outside as he starts his car, pulling away from the house.
you feel frozen in shock, taken back by his sudden aggression towards you, your knees feel weak, your head fuzzy. lip wobbling and tears streaming down your face.
you clean up the mess jj made and left. having to get down on to your hands and knees and scrub the sticky whiskey residue from the hardwood floors.
your shoulders tremble with sobs, which only seem to get worse when you throw away the shards of glass, slicing your palm open accidentally, you let out a yelp as you start to bleed.
you quickly going to the sink to rinse it with cold water. you dress it in bandages before getting dressed into your baby pink, frilly nightgown on before climbing in to bed, ready to sleep after the chaotic night you just had.
this was the first aggressive argument jj and you had ever had, the times before where he snapped are very rare, like once every two years rare, because you’re his special girl, why would he ever feel the need to snap at you?
jj had a deal going on with another mob, nothing too big, but something that could easily go wrong if one small plan changed, which it had, one of jj’s men revealing he was on the other side, jj resorted to beating him within an inch of his life, because loyalty? that wasn’t something jj maybank played around with.
loyalty, loyalty towards the people who stick by you, who help you, loyalty toward the people you love and cherish. respect, respect even to the enemy, “a disrespectful man is a weak man” jj always says, it’s something he stands so strongly on.
but sometimes don’t all of our emotions get the best of us? with the sudden snap in him tonight you knew it was a build up of intense stress and anger, because you always knew jj, your jj, the one who would never lift a finger to you with the intent of harm. the jj who would never speak down to you or even too loudly incase you got scared, which tonight you definitely did.
but part of you couldn’t help but feel the hint of worry, would this ever happen again? maybe. would a deal go wrong and cause jj to crash out on you again? it’s so likely that there is no way you can be certain.
jj maybank is so powerful, in the mafia, in the way he holds himself, in the way he talks. he knows what he’s doing, he’s strong willed. whereas you’re so soft, soft and domestic, soft in the way you hold yourself and the way you talk. that’s why he loves you. like a deer and a bear, you’re gentle and graceful, he’s heavy and stern. but that’s what draws you to each other.
as your eyes begin to flutter shut you hear the bedroom door open, lifting your head up from the soft pillow, seeing jj’s silhouette entering.
he groans softly, stripping out of his clothes, the bed dipping under him as he lays down, immediately shuffling close behind you, he can hear your soft sniffles, guilt causing his chest to tighten. “you up, angel?” he mumbles, his strong arm wrapping around you.
“yeah” you reply, voice quiet and trembling from previously crying. he moves his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours, his jaw tightening when he feels the dressing around your hand, his mind immediately filling with thoughts of who he has to kill.
“what happened?” he says, voice full of concern. you don’t reply, on the verge of crying yet again, your voice catches in your throat, making your lip tremble as you sniffle.
“hey… what happened to my angel? hmm?” he murmurs, nudging his nose against your cheek, knowing you’re upset and in need of his comfort.
“on the broken glass, was trying to clean it up” your voice mumbled and soft, like you’re afraid to talk too loud incase he gets mad again.
he hates it. it fills him with anger, anger at himself for letting his rage over mafia related issues unleash on you, his angel. “let me see” he says quietly, bringing your hand to his mouth “jj will kiss is better” he mumbles against it, pressing soft kisses over the dressed wound.
you feel yourself leaning back against him more, seeking his affection. he holds your hand gently in his, pressing his forehead against yours. “you scared?” he asks under his breath, to which you shake our head.
“were you?” he asks. you hesitate before nodding, still keeping quiet. he sighs softly.
“don’t like that. you should never be scared of me… i’m an asshole, okay? shit went wrong with a deal today, it got crazy… you had every right to be scared, i was stressed and seeing you upset makes me mad, i was never mad at you okay?” he says, kissing your face.
“i just get scared when i see the blood, what if one day it’s—” he cuts you off. “it never will be.” he guides your hand to his heart. “you feel that? that’s gonna beat as long as i got you right here” he says.
“i’m never gonna snap at you like that again, angel. my sweet angel, im sorry baby” he murmurs.
“it’s okay, jayj” you say softly, kissing him back, your hand still pressed against his chest. “get some sleep baby, i’ll hold you” he whispers against your ear, wrapping his strong arms around you, you’re asleep within seconds.
he listens to your soft, steady breathing. his own rage scares him sometimes, he hates being like that with you, he never wants to do it again, he just wants to keep you sweet and soft, he wants to keep that smile on your face no matter what.
the next day, while you’re getting ready, he watches you cover the bruises on your jaw with concealer, he leans down behind you to kiss your shoulder. “won’t happen again huh?” he says, your eyes meet his in the mirror. you nod gently, not quite sure why it was a question directed towards you, but you go with it nonetheless.
Just because obx is part romance in genre, does not mean Kiara needs to find her other half. She’s allowed to take time to focus on what this means for her. What JJ’s death means for her. What it means to be so angry she can’t focus on anything but revenge. So much of her character has been reduce to the boys. Instead why can’t we view it in the lens that she’ll do anything for her friends. Who so happen to be boys. I’m tired of this “she’s ran through” narrative of her. What a gross way to look at it. Regardless, I hope we get to see her happy.
This was inspired by my fic You but it can also be a standalone
Thank you @daggersanddresses for the idea for the title🤭
Word Count: 700
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We’re on our knees in the sand like when we were kids, shoulders nearly touching, the sun sinking low enough that everything feels honey-warm and unreal. The boneyard is empty and the tide keeps creeping closer, water licking at the shore. JJ’s bent over like he’s on a mission, sifting through wet sand and shell bed with way too much focus for something he claims he’s “not even that good at" but his gaze keeps flicking to me, very much not slick.
I glance over at him and snort. “You’re not even looking for shark teeth,” I giggle. “You’re just looking at my boobs.”
He looks up at me, grin already tugging at his mouth, wet blond hair falling into his eyes. “Can you blame me?” he says, laughing, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
I shove his shoulder, giggling harder, heat rushing up my cheeks.
He just shrugs, still smiling, and goes back to the sand. The sound of the ocean fills the quiet between us—waves breaking, gulls crying somewhere farther down the beach.
“Oh—wait! I found one!”
I lean closer, excitement bubbling up instantly. “Let me see.”
He holds it out in his palm, sandy and small and perfect. I take it between my fingers, rinsing it with a little seawater.
“Oh my god,” I say, genuinely impressed. “That’s a good one. I think it’s a sand tiger.”
He lets out this breathy little laugh. “Yeah? I thought so.”
But something’s… off.
I hand the tooth back. His hand is still out, fingers curled slightly, shaking just a little. Not cold-shaking. Not excited-shaking. Something else. His jaw is tight, and when he swallows, I see his throat bob hard.
“JJ?” I say softly.
“What? Yeah—yeah, I’m good,” he says too fast, shoving the tooth in his pocket. Then he reaches down again and picks something else up. “Hey. Look at this.”
It’s a shell—smooth and pale, still closed. I blink.
“How did I not see that?” I say, surprised, smiling as he hands it to me.
“I dunno,” he mutters.
I take it, turning it over in my hands, admiring it. It’s warm from the sun. Perfectly intact. Like it’s been waiting.
I open it.
For a second, my brain doesn’t understand what I’m looking at.
Then it does.
There’s a ring inside. Nestled perfectly in the shell like it belongs there. Like it grew there. My breath leaves me in a rush I didn’t know I was holding, and my eyes burn instantly, tears blurring everything.
“Oh my—” I choke, my voice breaking completely.
I look up at him.
He’s already watching me, eyes shiny, terrified and hopeful all at once. His hands are shaking openly now. His mouth opens, closes. He swallows again.
“Will—” he starts, voice cracking so badly it almost doesn’t come out. He laughs once, breathless and nervous. “Will you—”
“Yes,” I say immediately. I don’t even let him finish. “Yes. JJ. Yes.”
He lets out this broken, relieved laugh—half a sob, half disbelief—and his shoulders sag like he’s been holding the weight of the world.
“Yeah?” he says softly, like he needs to hear it again.
“Yes,” I repeat, tears spilling over now. “Of course I’ll marry you.”
I don’t even think. I just launch myself at him, arms around his neck, knocking us both sideways into the sand. He catches me easily, laughing as I kiss him over and over, salty tears and laughter and all of it tangled together.
“Of course,” I keep saying. “Of course I'll marry you.”
He kisses me back like he’s afraid I might disappear if he doesn’t—hands in my hair, forehead pressed to mine, breathing me in.
“I love you,” he says, rough and earnest.
“I love you,” I say back, just as fiercely.
And then a wave crashes up the shore and slams right into us, soaking us both, warm water stealing my breath.
I squeal, laughing, and he yelps, holding onto me as we both get drenched.
“Seriously?” he laughs. “Right now?”
I can’t stop laughing. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop kissing him.
Engaged.
To JJ Maybank.
In the sand, soaked by the ocean, hearts pounding, future wide open in front of us.
Summary: Your really bad day changes because of your sweet boyfriend.
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: nothing it’s mainly fluffffff, soft jj
A/N: just a reminder my reader inserts are usually pretty vague so that it can fit any female, but i do specify that they are female inserts. enjoy!
Today was the worst day of your life. Well that was a lie, but it sure felt like it. Your alarm didn’t go off, so you woke up late. Since you were in a rush, you didn’t have time to shower. You were twenty minutes late to work and your boss was not having it. You worked at the local crab diner and didn’t know why tourists had to have crab omelets so early.
Anyways, after being yelled at for not showing up on time, you immediately got triple sat. You just hoped your tables were decent people today. You thought wrong. The first table started snapping their fingers at you to get their attention, because they had been sitting there for five whole minutes without a drink order. You huffed out a breath and put your best fake smile on to help the needy customers. That was only the beginning though. You had customers yell at you because their food was cold or didn’t taste the way they thought it would, neither of those things being in your control. But you took the brunt of it anyway.
After being rushed around, ordered, and yelled at all day you had enough. One hour was left until you could clock out. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed so close. All you wanted was to go home, cuddle with your boyfriend, watch movies, and forget this day happened.
While winding around a table gracefully with a tray of seven drinks, an impatient customer pushed past you. Apparently thinking they owned the place and your space. Their unnecessarily large bag hit your elbow and down came the tray. You tightened your eyes shut as you heard glass shattering and plastic bouncing off tables. Then you felt it. Scalding hot coffee running down your chest to your legs and into your shoes.
“Ow Ow Ow!” your skin was on fire and burning. You rushed to grab towels to help clean some off of you. It was no use the heat was gone but you were soaked.
As you went to clean up the mess from the seating areas, you saw your boss round the corner. Oh great. “Y/n clean this mess up and then you can leave for the day. You’ve done enough” he shook his head as he walked off. You hated the way he talked to you but getting sent home early was not a punishment today.
Squish squish. That was all you could hear as you made the short walk back to the chateau where you stayed most of the time. Your socks and shoes were still soggy and making disgusting noises with every step.
You entered the messy home to a full house. All the pogues were chatting about their plans, until you walked in. JJ was the first to notice and jump up.
“Hey, you’re off early, are you okay?” he then took in your appearance and decided that you were not in fact okay.
“I’m just going to shower. I’ll tell you about it later. Want to watch movies when I’m done?” you desperately hoped the answer would be yes.
“We- We were actually just all about to head out on the water for some fishing, babe” he looked guilty being honest with you. But he did already have plans before. You tried to not look defeated and quickly mustered up a half smile, “Oh okay, sure you guys have fun.”
John B., Kie, and Pope were trying to look anywhere but at you. “We’ll meet you out there JJ” Pope decided to speak up. The other two scrambled after him ready to leave the awkward scene. JJ just stood there staring at you lost for what to say. “Really it’s fine J, I’ll see you later” and you slumped to the bathroom slinging the door shut. You turned the water on steaming, wanting to burn today away. After scrubbing every drop of coffee and grease off your skin and hair, you stepped out of the shower into the foggy bathroom. You took a deep breath, somewhat relaxed feeling clean. You dried off and wrapped the towel around you before padding down the hallway to the bedroom.
You pushed the door open to find your blond boyfriend wrapped in blankets surfing through movies. Not expecting to find someone in the house you slightly jumped. “JJ! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be fishing” you almost shouted.
A big grin filled his face as he got out of the bed to meet you at the door. “Yeah I can fish any day. It just seemed like you needed a JJ day. Not a big deal” he tried to shrug off. You couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped from the phrase ‘JJ day’. Your boyfriend was adorable and didn’t even know it. You beamed back at him, “You didn’t have to.” He wrapped you in a hug, while you still stood in your towel. “I wanted to. Now hurry up so we can cuddle and watch Guardians of the Galaxy.” You rolled your eyes knowing that was his favorite Marvel movie, but you couldn’t lie it was pretty good.
You moved to the dresser throwing on one of JJ’s old t-shirts and a pair of your sweats you kept there. Pulling the blankets back, you joined the blue-eyed boy under the covers. You snuggled in close to his side resting your head on his chest. He threw his left around your body. His other arm was lazily laid behind his head. With the arm wrapped around you he absentmindedly traced squiggles and lines on your skin with his fingertips. You loved when he did this because it would give you goosebumps. Besides any touch from JJ was comforting, especially when he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
As the opening credits and music started, all that was on your mind was how sweet and considerate he was. That was JJ though, he would drop anything to be there for people he loved. You finally felt at peace today. “Thanks JJ” you mumbled into his shirt. Clearly, he heard you, because he shifted up to place a soft kiss on your forehead.
A year ago JJ was ripped away from us. Y'all know my feelings on this subject and how I feel about the 3 stooges. If y'all would like to go yell at Jonas he's on tiktok as jojoskydog.
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