Belle

The only thing I'm doing with my life is music. Enjoy my nothingness.

[belle3196]

Election

To every single one of us who woke this morning and cried

To every single one of us who are now afraid that the country we call home is not safe

To every single one of us who feel like this has to be some kind of joke

I’m so sorry that this has happened to us, but we will get through this together. We will stand together as a group of people who deserve rights and happiness. and we will not allow this to silence us. You’re scared and I’m scared too. But together we are stronger than the bigots, the homophobes, the misogynists, the racists ever could hope to be. 

[belle3196]

Imagine we all learned to embrace the monster inside instead of trying to cover them up.

[belle3196]

What I Wish I Could Say To Someone I’ve Hurt

I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life and I have no way to fix what I’ve done. I can’t forgive myself for hurting you and I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve had a lot of regrets in my life, but not one of them compares to this. I love you more than anyone or anything, and I’ve never felt this way before. You made me feel safe and happy for the first time in a long time and I only ever hurt you. I made you out to be some sort of bad guy in my mind, someone who only cared about sex and not about me. And I’m sorry because I realize that I was wrong, and I wish I realized it sooner. 

I put myself on self destruct, and I think somewhere, deep down inside of myself, I knew you would find out about what I had done, and I knew you would hate me, but I did it anyways. Maybe it’s because I feel like all I ever deserve is the worst but I should have never pulled you down with me. I know that you hate me, but I hate myself more because I hurt you and it kills me inside to see you hurt. All you ever did was care. I betrayed your trust (what little you had) and I gave up all of the good you gave to me for 30 stupid seconds. 

I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I’m sorry that I didn’t deserve you but you still let me in. I’m sorry for everything, and I promise I will still hate myself long after you have forgotten about me. I love you, and I’m sorry for that too. 

[belle3196]

The “My Daddy Has Money” Starter Pack 

[belle3196]

Late night conversation between a stranger and I...

Stranger: Have you ever loved someone so much that you would just take all of their pain on you? Like you wouldn't even think about it?

Me: Yeah. I have. I loved them a lot. And I did everything I could to keep them from hurting, no matter how much it killed me.

Stranger: You must be a very beautiful person.

Me: Not really.

Stranger: I'm sure you are. The way you talk. It's just different.

Me: I can't be that beautiful. The same person that I gave everything for only ever gave me false hope back. We dated for three months before he admitted he never loved me...

Stranger: Oh beautiful. Beauty is more than this. You are beautiful. You really are.

[belle3196]

Lol at everyone who told me I’d grow up and still be ugly. Fuck ya’ll haters. 

[belle3196]

Ugghghhghhghghgh

So basically I have this crush on this guy and it’s literally killing me inside. 

[paulmccartneyandflowers]

[belle3196]

I run out of motivation to live faster than I run out of Oreos. 

[belle3196]

Coming Out

I haven’t fully come out yet, I’ve really only told a few friends and the only family member that knows is my older brother. 

I’m working on telling the rest of my family, but I want to be open about it to everyone else. So, here’s my story...

For the longest time, I’ve struggled with my identity. I’ve never felt fully comfortable in my own skin. Growing up, I thought that there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t supposed to be having the feelings that I was. It scared me at times, so I pushed it back in my mind and tried not to think about it, although it was unavoidable. It wasn’t until recently that I was able to discover for myself who I really am. Then things got worse. I was scared to tell my family, the last thing I wanted was their judgement and rejection. All of that put me in a darker place. My depression came back, an (more than ever) so did my suicidal thoughts and actions. I got to the point where I was about to kill myself when I stumbled upon a song by Todrick Hall titled “It Gets Better”. This song saved me from myself and from thinking that I was alone. I finally told my friends and now I am finally able to say it out loud to myself without crying...

I’m bisexual, and I am more than proud. 

[belle3196]

Everyone needs to see this. Its so freaking important! 

[belle3196]

This video is literally everything. 

[belle3196]

Yasss Dave <3 

[belle3196]

I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes trying to write a text post about how I feel right now, but then it hit me. I feel nothing. I should be in so much pain from the sadness, but I can’t even cry. I’ve become so irrevocably numb that I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. 

[coral]

[belle3196]

Late at Night...

Sometimes I sit back and I wonder why he didn’t love me, or care enough to tell people that he did. He was my entire world and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him, but sooner or later I came to realize that I obviously meant much less to him. I still cry at night, while I scroll through his Facebook page, or the photos of him saved on my phone, because no matter how little love he felt for me, I still felt (and feel) undying love for him. He was my first love and that is not something I can let go. I know that sooner or later, I am going to have to move on, as will he. But I truthfully hope that I still linger in his mind, like he will in mine, a constant reminder of the pain I felt as we said goodbye to a love that was only half there.  

[badass-siobhan]

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

[clavid]

one crack cocaine

[thoughtkiller]

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

[janebuzjane]

debit or credit

[brie3po]

I actually have a gift card