Dancing with Tears in my Eyes
I suppose like anyone my age I am looking for a relationship. Unfortunately, I am unlucky in love. No people are not constantly asking me out or expressing any sort of interest in me. My love life is always that one part of my life I lack confidence in and sometimes have very little faith in. Recently with my disdain for my relationship status I have made myself a profile on an online dating site a couple of months ago.
The online dating thing had a slow start. I put myself out there not in just the sense that I made the profile, but I also was actively sending messages to anyone I found attractive and interesting. I knew I couldn't just sit online and wait for the messages to roll in if I wanted to meet anyone. Every day or every other day I would browse profiles and send out a few messages with the hopes someone would respond and I was correct that the person was interesting or vice versa. After a month I wanted to give up because it didn't seem to be working out for me. Instead of giving up I told myself I would try out for a bit longer because things just don't happen overnight.
Finally, giving myself more time on the dating site seemed to be paying off. I started talking to a guy and I thought we hit it off. We sent messages back and forth for about a week and we exchanged numbers. With that being said messages lead to making plans to meet. We were to meet Saturday night at a bar not far away from where I live. Unfortunately, the story he told was that he got stuck in Connecticut in some family event. I brushed it off and was more than willing to reschedule. We rescheduled for Friday. I had my outfit planned from the previous weekend and was willing to possibly take a tumble in these wedges I have previously worn once.
I left work early so I could shower, curl my hair, apply makeup and possibly squeeze in a small pep talk from my best friend depending how nervous I was feeling. Once I arrived home I checked my texts messages and my online account in the hopes he had finally responded to my message I had sent in the morning confirming our plans. With no response I called and it rang into his voicemail. Hoping he had been busy all morning I started to get ready.
Sadly, I am a lot of things but I naïve isn't one of them. I felt no need to continue getting ready with how dismal my plans were looking. Instead I sat in bed holding back my emotions while my friend was in my room. I rationalized with myself that even though I got stood up things could have been worse… I could have of went to the bar and been that awkward person all by myself with tears accumulating. With that being said I felt no need in reaching out to him to let him know he was an asshole. I just wish him the worst of luck in his quest for any sort of relationship and hope there truly is a thing called karma.
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