Beauty from Ashes

Jas ♡ UCSB '19 // "You saw the crushing weight my flesh deserved, You kneeled and wrote forgiveness in the dirt" -- John 8:1-11

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Dear Jesus,

In the 23 years of my existence, there wasn’t a time you weren’t by my side. As a kid, you were with me in the playgrounds. As a teen, you were with me when I fought with my family and my own demons every day. As an adult, you were with me in my darkest and loneliest nights. Even in the moments when I questioned your goodness, I still felt your stubborn presence and your warm embrace around my coldness.

People say your early 20s are the worst period of your life, and I believe that, at least in an emotional perspective. As I continue to stumble through my 20s, I don’t want to do it alone. Jesus, I just want a family that I could truly forgive and love without shame. I just want friends, not in numbers, but a few who I could fully be who I am with.

I know that my worth doesn’t come from how people respond to me, it comes from You. So please help me ignore the voices that say I am too little or too much, and help me believe that I am exactly as much me as the world needs. I say all of these things, but You know that what I truly want is real peace. Peace beyond understanding. Peace that guards my heart. Peace that guards my mind. Peace that can only come from You.

- J

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a month ago, i came to a place in life where i truly believed i just wasn’t meant to have close friends and lasting friendships. my perspective on friendships/community have become skewed after years of repeatedly getting hurt and causing hurt. i was relationally jaded and simply tired of trying.

but it’s crazy how God has changed my thoughts about these things within days of me (unwillingly) begin praying every day for a desire to be close Him again. He said those voices in my head were lies. and since then, His invisible hands of grace and providence has been tangibly working through unexpected people and circumstances that He’s placed in front of me. though this challenging and enduring journey is far from over, these days i’ve been feeling a little less lonely on the road.

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Our deepest longing to be cherished could never be fully met by anyone but God.

Nancy Groom

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Please pray for my mum who is being tested for cancer today

I am praying for God’s peace, comfort, and nearness over you and your mom during this time. Don’t know if you’ll see this, but please update us if you don’t mind.

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Thanks for your awesome blog!

Thank you for your kind message! :)

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“then hear in heaven your dwelling place and forgive and act and render to each whose heart you know, according to all his ways (for you, you only, know the hearts of all the children of mankind),” - 1 Kings 8:39 ESV

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I’ve been trudging through a long season of feeling apathetic in my faith and an unwillingness to develop intimacy with Jesus. But when I recently began struggling with community and friendships, I found myself seeking and longing for God again. I hate that it takes a certain aspect of my life to suffer before I realize my NEED and WANT for Jesus... but I can't deny it. And I can only pray that my desire to return to the arms of my Father will grow stronger day by day. 

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God Wrote a Book x

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