Unknown Playwright J. Klein-Haghani

[pjharvey]

basically i have to stay silly bc the other option is death

[angrytheatremaker]

Yes. Exactly. So often I've been thrown into environs and lived in times that did their best to beat the silliness out of me. But lads, I'm here to tell you: Don't let the bastards get you down. Silliness is also resistance, and it is necessary.

The world is awful, the politicians are awful, climate change is awful, the current state of my hair is awful. And what do we do when that happens? We uncork the silly because otherwise we'd be crying salt tears.

[the-clacton-affair]

[coleslaw-frosting]

Come on people of Clacton! Please I beg of you, do the funniest thing to ever happen! Binface has to win. All my hope in this country and the future is leaning on him now!

[angrytheatremaker]

Come on, lads! You can do it. I believe in you!

[cryptidwithacappuccino]

I can’t sleep again but the upside is that I found the most fantastically odd show on the telly -  Colonel March of The Department of Queer Complaints. It’s from 1956 and is ridiculous and quite camp. The detective in it investigates unusual cases, locked room murders, and most notably mysteries that are supernatural. In this episode the abominable snowman seems to have gotten into his office in Scotland Yard. 

[cryptidwithacappuccino]

This thing just had a legitimate ‘not since the accident’ moment. 

[cryptidwithacappuccino]

This is like a weird alternate version of very early Sherlock Holmes films, but the detective has an eyepatch, is trying to deduce whether the attacker is human or a spirit using sticky tape, the show has all of the unpalatable racism you expect but wish wasn’t there from the 50s, and each viewing comes with a lump of campness and also some acid. 

[angrytheatremaker]

Accurate on all counts. Let's face it, the main reason most of us are watching this is Boris Karloff's performance. It's art, I'm telling you.

[transsexualpuffin]

you’re leftist but do you give a shit about people? you’re leftist but do you care about community? you’re leftist but are you kind?

[actuallyjamesagarfield]

"Nah. I just like blowing stuff up and being contrarian 😈"

[angrytheatremaker]

That's pretty much a direct quote. We appreciate you shining a light on this, James Garfield.

Too often they are leftist and viciously unkind, leftist and mired down in "I, me, mine" mentality, leftist and giving no shits about the people around them. Thus why some of us (fine, me) no longer claim this label. Because if that's what being a leftist looks like, who needs genuine progressive policies?

[slyandthefamilybook]

why do you guys talk like you think not voting means no one gets elected

[loreleionthelake]

we just legitimately don’t care who gets elected bc we don’t see a meaningful difference between the candidates

[slyandthefamilybook]

wow that must be nice

hey have you ever wanted to own your very own bridge?

[spacelazarwolf]

i think if you genuinely can’t tell the difference between an old white guy who has done some genuinely good stuff but also is invested in maintaining the status quo and a literal fascist whose presidency actively and directly killed innumerable people you might need to rethink your worldview.

[prof-grace-aspen]

Like... I just genuinely wonder if some folks need a side-by-side of Biden and Trump's policies? Would a chart or a graphic of some kind (with links to sources) help out in these cases?

Obviously some people are dedicated to their ignorance and will ignore every fact shown to them, but maybe some others who are on the edge might actually be helped if they see a 1:1 comparison?

And by "policies", I mean, stuff they actually did while in office. Laws they signed. Hard data. Because anyone can say anything on the campaign trail, what really matters is what they actually did while in office, right?

[spacelazarwolf]

i think a chart like that would be great, but for a lot of the anti-voting ppl i don't think it would matter bc for them it isn't about who's actually better. a lot of them want trump to win bc they're hoping that things will get so bad it'll spark The Glorious Revolution. but uh. The Glorious Revolution tends to have a lot of casualties, primarily low income people, disabled people, and people also like to target jews a lot during revolutions or shifts of power. so uh. i as a low income disabled jew am not yearning for The Glorious Revolution bc it would probably cost me my life.

[postaltism-deactivated20250601]

while voting for a democratic candidate might prevent material conditions from getting worse (which is also debatable, see the conditions migrant shelters are in or the nation-wide attacks on gender affirming care, things that were supposed to be avoided by voting for biden), neither of these candidates will improve quality of life for lower or middle class citizens. if they do, it will be a series of concessions that can be retracted at any moment. an electoral system like the one the united states has will always serve the interests of the rich before anyone elses, and thats the main issue. not to mention this only makes a difference for us citizens since both dems and reps have enjoyed waging war on middle eastern countries

[slyandthefamilybook]

how does it feel to be this tweet

[spacelazarwolf]

twitter leftists when u tell them u don’t have to choose between working toward short term betterment of material conditions and working to dismantle the current system.

[reverieausoleil]

Y'all... like... I vote. And I encourage others to do the same. But I really hate to see the reductive, contemptuous takes on this issue. People have real, valid critiques of the Biden administration and the Democrats. They have done some good things, yes. (I personally enjoy, for example, having functional labor and antitrust institutions for the first time in my 40 years of life.) They have also done many bad things and a few horrific things. And yes, Trump would be worse! There's not one single issue that he wouldn't be worse on! And it's worth a little minimal effort to keep him from being president. I'm with you.

But like "support our corporate tool; he funds ethnic cleansing and loves cops, but he's better than the other guy" is hardly an inspiring rallying cry. Hopelessness and lethargy from voters is very understandable. And anyone trying to persuade people to vote needs to acknowledge that.

[jabberwockypie]

Look, man. If people can look at all of the stuff Trump says he wants to do in office, and all of the stuff he did the first time he was in office, and the coup, and honestly say - as some of the post on this post are saying! - that there's no difference between them, or that voting doesn't matter because it's not Revolution, then I don't really know what to tell you, and I don't know how you'd reach a person like that.

I am poor, and I am disabled, and I'm frankly kind of tired of telling people "Please vote in the election, because the things Trump says he wants to do will kill people like me" and have people scream at me that I'm *checks notes* a part of the liberal elite because I don't want the Republicans to get rid of my food stamps. Or tell me that I deserve to die, because I think their Glorious Revolution is stupid and kind of childish and would get a lot of people killed. Or say things like "Can we really KNOW that a second Trump term would be THAT bad?". YES. We can, actually!

I'm sorry if that's not *:･ﾟ✧ Inspiring *:･ﾟ✧ enough for people to take a couple hours in November to do something that's maybe kind of annoying but will protect vulnerable people.

The system we have is broken, and it's kind of shit, but it's the one we're currently stuck with - and are still going to be stuck with, come November, because nobody's going to manage the aforementioned revolution in the next five months - and the Republicans consistently fuck over pretty much everybody, including people outside of this country.

Voting usually isn't all that exciting and usually isn't going to be super *:･ﾟ✧ Inspiring *:･ﾟ✧. Neither is doing dishes or cleaning the bathroom, but you also do need to do those things. I don't really know how many other ways there are to say "Please vote so that people like me don't die", because I get called a shill for capital.

[panphilosopher]

I don't understand why goyische leftists think the Glorious Revolution is going to work, as if they forgot about 1/06 and that far-rightists are more willing (with having higher gun ownership) to actually commit to it.

[angrytheatremaker]

Because goyische leftists, in addition to worshiping strength and violence in the same exact way extreme right-wingers do, want to have their fantasy of total upheaval and their secular Rapture too. They want to strike down nonbelievers--soz, fascists and establishment shills alike--and bathe the land in the glorious illumination of Enlightenment. The unglamorous mundane details (voting, paper trails, legal pushback) are almost by the wayside because these aren't Revolution.

That this vision hinges on finding the right secularized Messiah--er, rich white broski cosplaying working class aesthetics in some way--is a whole other discussion and would require a separate post on the matter.

And stop throwing our disabled brethren under the bus for your Glorious Cause, FFS. Fuckmuppets.

[angrytheatremaker]

My comfort show is on! I haven't watched Colonel March of Scotland Yard in a couple of years, but it is as delightfully hokey as over. Also Boris Karloff as the title character is casting against type, but in a way that feels like a warm hug.

[animentality]

[removebeforeopening]

Taco Bell vs the 🔔🔚

[angrytheatremaker]

Live mas! Good on Taco Bell for leading the charge. (But also, wow, we live in the most unhinged timeline.)

[lost-carcosa]

The Adventures of Bin Bin and the Count of Dodgy Crypto

[angrytheatremaker]

Ooh, excellent. Love it!

[angrytheatremaker]

Sometimes cheese is the answer. Who cares what the question is?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.

when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.

when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.

then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that

[angrytheatremaker]

Wait until I get going!

I could really tear into a rant about how the most body-horror adjacent aspects of pregnancy are minimized or elided because heavens forfend we frighten the girlies away from having children altogether. Aside from the obvious ones like hormonal mood swings, extreme morning sickness, and strange food cravings, your internal organs are shoved every which way thanks to this small creature growing inside you that also dances on your bladder and has you running to the bathroom multiple times an hour. And that's before we discuss how your libido is cranked up to twelve and shit like that. Not to mention your pelvic floor is loosey-goosey and your hips are disturbingly elastic. And don't get me started on how diastasis recti plus a ripped ruined core has you afraid of spilling your internal organs all over the sidewalk postpartum.

[cios-correct-opinions]

hey let's not refer to a real life disability (which pregnancy is) as body horror please and thank you!

[angrytheatremaker]

You're right, of course. I think I internalized a lot of the ableism around pregnant and postpartum people. I will try to do better going forward.

[cios-correct-opinions]

that is an extremely kind and awesome response you gave that i was not expecting! thank you so much :) everyone else i told this to got so mad at me right off the bat it was baffling every time

[angrytheatremaker]

Experiencing pregnancy and postpartum deffo changes one's perspective, I'd say. Not to be that person but I would guess (idle speculation here) that the majority of people mad at you for this take haven't been pregnant. So.

[sanson-ki-mala-pe]

People with terminal cases of antisemitic brainrot are so funny. Nowadays this would be considered healthy Mediterranean cooking, but this Spanish Inquisition guy was upset that the Jews were--checks notes--cooking with olive oil!!,! 😤😡

Glad everyone realized that we pioneered a superior cooking method though.

[nerathul]

The Spanish Inquisition's methods for hunting the crypto-jews were often absolutely idiotic and nonsensical. They were generally unable to fathom that generations spent under muslim rules might have lead to a few different habits.

Another big one was eggplants, the Inquisitors refused to believe any good christian could eat eggplant because they were first introduced by the moors.

Often they become fixated on random things as secret proof of heresy that had no meaning at all.

[zaprowsdower27]

Isn't Spanish cuisine very pork-heavy to this day in large part due to the Inquisition taking any hint that you didn't love pig meat as a sign of being a crypto-Jew or Crypto-Muslim?

[jewishgay4il]

pretty much

[is-the-fire-real]

The saying I have heard is "the history of Spanish cooking is full of garlic and bigotry".

[angrytheatremaker]

This right here. And holy hell is it horrifying.

[glasspalacesstoneshop]

The answer to why a lot of leftists are Like That, especially about the Omnicause, is because they want to be heroes of the oppressed but are uncomfortable with actually giving up privilege or decentering themselves in their worldview. “Why don’t leftists work in their home countries for Native Rights rather than obsess over I/P” because they benefit from those systems. They want to be brave heroes of Justice who face no adversity. They do genuinely see themselves as entitled to that role.

[glasspalacesstoneshop]

I think the FDR romanticizing really does give the game away re: leftism being a Fuck You, I Need To Get Mine movement. Because that man was in many ways an atrocious person, but he was good for white people. And so much of the yearning is simply “I wish white privilege could still take me this far”. The ball rolling has slowed down and that’s what they’re mad about

[angrytheatremaker]

And some of them--yes, I have personal experience of this--have been harping on I/P for damn near forty years because Omnicause, because justice against those filthy Zionists!, and because it's a whole lot fucking easier than throwing their over-privileged weight behind Land Back and other Native Rights issues. One notes that among the members of CRINK (China, Russia, Iran, North Korea), there is an extreme unfriendliness among the ruling classes/majority ethnic group of each toward "uppity" minorities. ("Uppity" also meaning "I dare to exist".) Oh, Western countries do this too, but because it's The Resistance, this kind of discrimination doesn't count as such vis-à-vis CRINK; it's just sparkling collateral damage because Mama and Papa West bad and evil. I'd invite the whole pack of this ilk of leftists to get off their arses, stop pelting Jews with antisemitic crap and demands for us to turn out our ideological pockets, and actually put in the work to protect some Indigenous people for a bloody change. But that would take some honest self-reflection and putting one's back into any efforts made, and I'm afraid I don't see that happening anytime soon.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.

when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.

when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.

then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that

[angrytheatremaker]

Wait until I get going!

I could really tear into a rant about how the most body-horror adjacent aspects of pregnancy are minimized or elided because heavens forfend we frighten the girlies away from having children altogether. Aside from the obvious ones like hormonal mood swings, extreme morning sickness, and strange food cravings, your internal organs are shoved every which way thanks to this small creature growing inside you that also dances on your bladder and has you running to the bathroom multiple times an hour. And that's before we discuss how your libido is cranked up to twelve and shit like that. Not to mention your pelvic floor is loosey-goosey and your hips are disturbingly elastic. And don't get me started on how diastasis recti plus a ripped ruined core has you afraid of spilling your internal organs all over the sidewalk postpartum.

[cios-correct-opinions]

hey let's not refer to a real life disability (which pregnancy is) as body horror please and thank you!

[angrytheatremaker]

You're right, of course. I think I internalized a lot of the ableism around pregnant and postpartum people. I will try to do better going forward.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you’ve never had a properly rich friend as a person who grew up and/or currently is middle class to poor it’s kind of an insane experience.

One time a friend of mine told me that she only dates men who make over seven figures a year because she wants someone with a “similar life experience” and I still wonder if I should’ve told her that that particular standard might be one of the reasons she keeps finding terrible men

[angrytheatremaker]

I have, in fact, had a rich friend. The accoutrements they considered necessary adjuncts in their life almost did my head in. Also had the disorienting experience of hearing that they had a friend who owned a vintage shop and we could come over there sometime to browse during off hours. Uh...WHAT? Talk about rarefied air.

And then there's my fiancé. He grew up solidly middle class, he says. Sir, I grew up middle class to poor and what you describe to me--the casual traveling, the little perks and privileges, the cocaine benders, the rest of it--is utterly foreign to what I experienced. Then he says he was smack in the upper middle class bracket a couple of times. Uhhhhh...? Maybe? Again, what you describe to me sounds perilously close to baby rich person territory, but that could well be my provincialism and my overall ignorance talking. Me understand nothing about big bad world. Me have been poor for much of my conscious existence.

Then I've known a couple of former rich girls. These girls I could at least talk to on the basis of us all being in the same boat. Half of their troubles, they acknowledged, were down to their choice of men and not doing more vetting. So. There's that.

[angrytheatremaker]

Anyway I recently had a bit of a laugh in that I (one of the poors) knew what a Jaeger LeCoultre Reverso was but this struck my fiancé as new information. His taste in watches runs to Cartier and Patek Philippe, so it was a mild surprise to me that he hadn't had so much as a sniff of a Reverso. Irony of ironies, the only reason I know about it is because I read one too many style guides (really sales pitches for stuff I couldn't buy) that recommended the Reverso as a "classic". Add this to the list of reasons why I am heavily skeptical of "things for people in the know" listicles and now prefer what I call affordable thrills. These days I come down on the side of inexpensive buys that tell a story and show the time as opposed to the hunk of junk that advertises seventeen different time zones and shoots mini lasers.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you’ve never had a properly rich friend as a person who grew up and/or currently is middle class to poor it’s kind of an insane experience.

One time a friend of mine told me that she only dates men who make over seven figures a year because she wants someone with a “similar life experience” and I still wonder if I should’ve told her that that particular standard might be one of the reasons she keeps finding terrible men

[angrytheatremaker]

I have, in fact, had a rich friend. The accoutrements they considered necessary adjuncts in their life almost did my head in. Also had the disorienting experience of hearing that they had a friend who owned a vintage shop and we could come over there sometime to browse during off hours. Uh...WHAT? Talk about rarefied air.

And then there's my fiancé. He grew up solidly middle class, he says. Sir, I grew up middle class to poor and what you describe to me--the casual traveling, the little perks and privileges, the cocaine benders, the rest of it--is utterly foreign to what I experienced. Then he says he was smack in the upper middle class bracket a couple of times. Uhhhhh...? Maybe? Again, what you describe to me sounds perilously close to baby rich person territory, but that could well be my provincialism and my overall ignorance talking. Me understand nothing about big bad world. Me have been poor for much of my conscious existence.

Then I've known a couple of former rich girls. These girls I could at least talk to on the basis of us all being in the same boat. Half of their troubles, they acknowledged, were down to their choice of men and not doing more vetting. So. There's that.

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

the last food you ate is your nickname now how is it going

good

bad

great

awful

results

Voting ended onJul 20

[angrytheatremaker]

That's Ms. Licorice to you.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.

when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.

when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.

then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that

[angrytheatremaker]

Wait until I get going!

I could really tear into a rant about how the most body-horror adjacent aspects of pregnancy are minimized or elided because heavens forfend we frighten the girlies away from having children altogether. Aside from the obvious ones like hormonal mood swings, extreme morning sickness, and strange food cravings, your internal organs are shoved every which way thanks to this small creature growing inside you that also dances on your bladder and has you running to the bathroom multiple times an hour. And that's before we discuss how your libido is cranked up to twelve and shit like that. Not to mention your pelvic floor is loosey-goosey and your hips are disturbingly elastic. And don't get me started on how diastasis recti plus a ripped ruined core has you afraid of spilling your internal organs all over the sidewalk postpartum.