Because Belphegor is a whore (Except when hes not)

um i'm 19 so...

[valtsv]

everyone is too busy on their phones these days to earn the undying loyalty of a misunderstood beast by treating it with compassion and respect instead of fear

[themostvilemaninbaseball]

What do you call my mutuals then? Huh?

[valtsv]

you present an unexpected yet compelling argument

[obeythedemons]

How he builds IKEA furniture [Obey Me! Headcanons]

Note: I just got an office chair and desk. I built the office chair...Desk is tonight.

Obey Me! Masterlist

--

Lucifer

Will skim through the instructions and understand it.

Puts the instructions away and gets to building it step-by-step

Knows where all of his tools are at all times and never misplaces them

The furniture is built quickly and perfectly

He did build the house after all, so this isn't that big of a deal

Mammon

He reads the instructions, but grabs the wrong parts.

Things get added on incorrectly and he has to take it apart multiple times

Gets frustrated and goes to take a break - forgets about it and/or puts it off for a while

When he comes back, it's magically assembled (Lucifer came in and put it together for him)

Leviathan

He reads the instructions and builds it

Mid-way through he stops reading the instructions, getting the pattern

He's built Gundam models that are more difficult, so this is pretty easy

Organizes all the parts in little trays he uses for said models

It looks perfect and is very stable

Doesn't get frustrated unless the furniture is poor quality and the parts don't match

Satan

Reads the instructions, but has to do some parts out of order

The pieces just don't fit correctly if he does it in order for some reason?

Gets very frustrated when the instructions don't make sense

Will throw some of the tools when the pieces don't line up correctly

But he needs a new bookshelf and he needed a cheap one because of how many he's bought recently

Asmodeus

Hahaha, he can't build his own furniture? What if he breaks a nail?

Ropes one of his other brothers into building it for him - usually Lucifer or Satan

He'll fawn over them telling them how talented and cool they are

Takes a bunch of selfies while they're in his room with him to document it

Beelzebub

Tries to read the instructions, but they really don't make sense

Works on just trying to fit the pieces together, but usually looses some

Belphie will have to supervise him and tell him what the instructions mean and keep track of what he looses

Somehow, it does end up coming together

He'd rather just buy pre-assembled furniture and carry it into the house

Belphegor

He looks at all of the parts and the instructions

Nope.

He gets Beel to help him put it together while he lays on the bed to help make sense of it all.

He's not going to put anything together.

[jarzardart]

The “Mona Pika”

[skzhhssh-deactivated20190330]

when ur reading fanfic and one character was cooking and the other comes up to them and they start making out and everyones like starting to take their shirts off and the author STILL hasnt mentioned anyone turning off the stove

[golgafrincham]

[0beyme]

*Insert here that angsty*

[gayleafpool]

wait new tag game. tell me if you’re good or terrible at cooking then tell me where u fall among ur siblings, like oldest youngest etc etc

[boxbusiness]

Saw this on Twitter and I remembered~

Plz grab.

[incorrectdevildom]

Simeon: Always stay positive! Simeon: *falls down the stairs* Simeon: Look how fast I got down them! :DDDD

hes got the spirit so we stan

[silkirose]

:/

[silkirose]

:0

[silkirose]

:)

[silkirose]

A little update <3

I still read all of your lovely replies! I have not given up on art my friends! I have even started my own webcomic on webtoon! It’s called Seth In Space and it would mean a lot to me if you would support me there! Love you all and happy halloween!!

[silkirose]

I’m so happy to tell you all that I’ve made great progress with my mental health!! To genuinely be able to say that I feel happy is so liberating and free! I know a lot of you are still in that dark place. I’m here to say that it does get better. Much better! I still have some tough days but progress is progress! Be kind and gentle to yourselves. I love you all and thank you to everyone who’s supported me over the years!

Here’s links to my commissions and projects! Commissions Animal Crossing Commissions Animal Crossing Tarot Cards Tarot Readings Seth In Space

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

[silkirose]

Happy halloween 2021 everyone!! As for some good news, I came out as genderfluid this year!! I hope everyone has a magical halloween!! Patreon

[absolutepokemontrash]

Hey this is from your friend(?) I'm sure you'll know which one by the request (maybe).

How about the bros with a super short MC? Like between 4ft9in to 5ft0in tall? Because, if we estimate that Luci is 6ft0in, that's at least a foot difference in height lmao

Sup dude!!! Sorry this request took so long, but it was super fun to write! Please enjoy~

Ah Yes, Height Differences My Beloved… (The Brothers and a Very Short MC)

Lucifer

The second tallest brother finds MC’s height to be just so damn adorable… and kind of funny.

This tiny human, barely reaching his shoulders, has the gall, I repeat, THE GALL, to stand up to him. It’s impressive, annoying, adorable, and comedy gold.

They’re also perfect height for kabedonning. MC was reaching up to close one of the kitchen cabinets when Lucifer appeared behind them, closed the cabinet door, and oh so suavely used his other hand to tilt MC’s chin up to look at him.

🙄 wow, so smooth. MC just wanted a mug!

During the group retreat when Lucifer decided to do the sexy ballroom dance/second threat to MC’s life, it got very awkward because in his demon form Lucifer is over seven feet tall. He had to awkwardly look down in order to threaten MC, who looked just so damn adorable-

Now, Lucifer is a gentleman, he would never use MC as an armrest… when sober. When he’s completely drunk he leans on MC and starts rambling about how he could literally throw them into the eighth circle of hell if he wanted because they’re so tiny, but he wouldn’t because he looooooooves them so much.

Lucifer vehemently denies this ever happened and may have made/forced MC to sign an NDA.

Mammon

Ah yes, the human is tiny and pathetic. Just what Mammon wanted to babysit 🙄

Yeah yeah yeah, tsundere’s gotta tsundere. But beyond our greedy boy’s angy facade, he’s so smitten it’s insane. He is a certified simp.

The human’s just… so small, he wants to like… hold them??????

Cherish them???????

Give them hugs???????

But he is a bastard (tm) so he goes out of his way to move things onto higher shelves so the human has to ask the Great Mammon for help! Since Mammon is a wonderful first man, he obliges with minimal teasing. But minimal teasing is still teasing.

Mammon had moved the cereal from the lowest cabinet to the highest, and he did not expect MC to start climbing up onto the kitchen counters to reach. And of course, his dumb human slipped and fell.

Since MC’s first man is super dedicated to keepin’ em’ safe, he vaults over the centre counter and catches MC before they hit the floor. Cue romantic music as the two stare into each other’s eyes…

The moment is ruined when Mammon starts freaking out about how MC could have died from falling from that height since they’re so small! MC promptly grabbed their cereal and left.

Mammon also uses MC as an armrest because he is not a gentleman. He also picks them up and carries them away whenever he feels extra jealous. If they didn’t want to be picked up then they shouldn’t have been so small 😤

Leviathan

To be completely honest, when Mammon first sacrificed MC in order to run for his life, Levi’s mind was flooded with every single version of the how to talk to short people meme.

Since this human was so short it made it easy to kidnap bring MC to his room and demand that they help him with the Mammon money situation.

After all that, Levi just really wants to try out every romance anime thing ever with MC, height difference between characters is his fourth favourite romance trope!

He sort of just awkwardly stands next to MC, and from MC’s perspective he’s just standing there, but Levi’s actually having this long internal monologue breaking down the situation and trying to analyze the perfect way to kabedon MC.

Levi also tries to work up the courage to pull MC into his lap whenever the two are gaming together, but it never happens… Levi has lost many a game of Smash Bros. due to being distracted by his indecision.

Sigh, it’s up to MC to initiate some cute moments, as usual. They should just plop themselves into his lap, no fear or hesitation.

When MC sits on his lap, he needs to reboot. MC swore they could hear the dial up Internet noises. When Levi finally collects himself, he slowly rests his chin on MC’s head and reaches nirvana.

Satan

At first Satan was like: Oh, small human. I am well aware they come in small sizes. It’ll be interesting to see how they adapt to life in the Devildom where everything is made with much taller people in mind.

After the body switching incident though? Holy fucking shit why is MC so cute-

Oh~ MC is having trouble getting that book off that high shelf~ allow him to help, MC- OW! FUCK! SON OF A BITCH!

The book fell right on Satan’s poor defenceless head :(

Every other time went much more smoothly after Satan drew out a plan and strategized. He was now perfectly suave (tm).

Once MC and Satan went to a cat cafe and a giant Maine Coon cat hopped up on MC’s lap and Satan almost had to be resuscitated because he was dying of cuteness. RIP Satan, he had a good run. 😔

Satan also really wants MC to sit on his lap while they’re both leaving, but unlike the situation with Levi, Satan has self confidence and just pulls MC into his lap.

Asmodeus

O-m- SQUEEEEEE! SO CUTE! Asmo had totally forgotten how adorable humans could be! Oh he could just eat little MC up~

Asmo is 100% the type of person to stand behind MC and lean on them. Like “Oh~ MC, you make such a good armrest, you continue to entice me~” and MC’s like “:| I’m just standing here.”

As the shortest brother, Asmo totally relates to MC’s struggles, sometimes someone moves his fancy granola bars a shelf higher and Asmo has to really reach to get them… his life is just so hard 🥺

That doesn’t stop Asmo from playfully teasing MC when they can’t reach something.

Listen listen listen- hear me out. Asmo gives MC some of his sweaters and purposefully buys stuff that’s a little too big because they’re just so damn cute when the sleeves cover their widdle hands!

But anyway, Asmo also randomly picks MC up, but it’s in more of a bridal carry kind of way. Like he’s the dashing Prince Charming sent to rescue MC from his dumb and annoying brothers.

Quick! He must carry MC to the bed chambers so they can snuggle! Or y’know, “snuggle”…

Beelzebub

*looks down* hello down there.

The human’s too small to even be a snack… guess Beel won’t be eating the human :/ not when he has food at home.

After Beel gets over his “human is delicious” phase, he’s kind of worried he might step on MC and squish them! They’re just so small!

He has to bend down to even kiss their forehead… hnnnnng his heart-

Beel is also the type to randomly pick up MC, but he doesn’t do it out of a desire to be smooth or jealousy, he does it to just get them out of the way or out of danger.

Like MC is blocking Beel’s locker? He picks them up and places them down a little to the left. MC is in the way of a quickly approaching frisbee? Beel picks them up and moves them over.

It’s not very romantic, mainly because he’s picking MC up with his hands under their armpits, so MC’s just in the air like 🧍

He’ll also give piggyback rides if requested.

Belphegor

Pfft, tiny human. They’re the size of a body pillow. Perfect size for snuggling. Come hither, human. The Avatar of Sloth demands their company.

Stupid Headcanons Inc. send our apologies to MC for how they’re about to be treated.

Drooled all over and cuddled like a stuffed animal… a moment of silence for the poor defenceless human… 😔

Belphie’s too lazy and tired to actively move things onto higher shelves in order to help/tease MC, all his energy is saved for tormenting Lucifer. Buuuuuuut if MC just happens to be struggling with getting something… after he’s done laughing at them he’ll help.

Since Belphie is also not a gentleman, he leans on MC constantly. They are his personal arm/headrest. At this time, MC can shove him onto the cold concrete where he belongs.

Sure he may wake up and be pissy, but MC should remind him that they’re at the perfect height to kick him in the balls. If he values his ability to have children he should cease being a bastard baby.

—————

Me? Projecting Himiko while writing these Headcanons? It’s more likely than you’d think.

These were so fun to write! Thanks for the request ^.^

[desolationlesbian]

I’m not on tumblr because I really like it necessarily, but I am a twenty-something young professional in a really formal and prestigious field, and I woke up this morning and wrote a draft of like 400 words of meta about a cartoon character, and like, where the fuck else am I supposed to post that? Facebook? Twitter? You can’t post about anime on facebook. People use their actual photos there. I need somewhere to be weird in peace where there aren’t any employers.

[canongf-archive]

imagine being the exception in your f/o’s life. they weren’t ever gonna fall in love until they met you. they weren’t ever gonna settle down until they fell in love with you. they’ve never done romance but they do it for you. they’re not soft but they will be when they’re alone with you. they don’t tell anyone their secrets except you. no one gets to touch them like that but you. no one compares to you. you’re special.

and!!! imagine everyone in your f/o’s life knowing that. knowing that there are certain things that only you can do. only you can go into their room and only you can borrow their clothes and only you can drive their car and only you can hang on them and play with their hair… somebody new comes into their life and tries to call them by a certain nickname or to ask them about something personal and your f/o’s family or friends or coworkers immediately put a stop to it because “they only let Liv do that.”

[boychic-deactivated20230922]

reader x character fics are good for my self esteem bc the premise is that i am, somehow, in my fave characters league

[outofcontextdiscord]

[0beyme]

So sexy when Barbatos

[lvlcurrent]

I like to imagine that barb is just constantly shouting obscenities in his head

same i'd like to hear what's going on up there😂

[lvlcurrent]

when will we cure you of anime blonde boy disease.