Hey, Its Franklin!

A day in the life of a turtle

[tumbwr]

[tumbwr]

[lesbian-toddhoward]

give me booboo wheel... i must have booboo wheel i simply must!

[godspeedyoublackemperor]

[lesbian-toddhoward]

yes, yes...!

[yimmypee]

ive been watching the holiday season of nailed it all day and in episode 6 the bakers were fucking up so badly that the camera man was repeatedly driven to literal tears while shakily filming their creations

[sloppystyle]

spoon under water faucet incident 6 dead 8 injured

[toxicblonde-deactivated20221214]

[the-wolf-emoji]

Bro got isekai'd

[mariamlovesyou]

The sound of animals sniffing things like their life depends on it is music to me ears

[lunaticsandidiots]

[32degrees-deactivated20210303]

[mrbiglong3000]

yeah?? and what of it?? my hands are full and my ass is fat, you fucking wish you were me

[huffylemon]

[obviousplant]

Thoughtless Gifts

[wildwildwasteland]

tbh rather than existing bloggers turning their tumblr into a patreon my guess is that staff is trying to entice ~influencers~ to come here and honestly that's so much worse

[kipplekipple]

Driving them away could be a fun time though

[cipheramnesia]

Influencers, come out and playyyy.

[solitarelee]

I don’t know how Tumblr could have expected this would end in anything less than us hunting influencers for sport. I think 90% of the population here has been absolutely frothing for a chance

[goobra]

bro is it parasocial to experience art

[mx-selfdestruct]

[badjokesbyjeff]

A man walks into an old pub in Dublin, takes a seat at the bar and orders 3 pints.

After he is served he takes sips from them in turn and when all 3 glasses are finally empty he orders 3 more. The barkeeper, who has been watching him, has never seen such a weird style of drinking and says to the man: “You know when you leave a beer for too long it goes flat, so they would taste better if you order just one at a time.”

“Well”, says the man at the bar. “You see I have 2 brothers who I used to drink with, but unfortunately one moved to America and the other one moved to Australia. Now we are on 3 different continents and we hardly ever see each other. So I drink a pint for me and 2 for my brothers. This way we at least try to keep this tradition alive and it feels like we’re still together.” The bartender agrees that this is a beautiful explanation for his weird behaviour and the man becomes a regular at his bar. The other customers also get used to his ritual of ordering 3 pints and drinking them in turn. But then one day “Mister 3 Pints” comes in and orders only 2 glasses. The whole pub gets silent and the by the time the man orders a second round of only 2 pints the barkeeper says: “I’m terribly sorry as I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I just wanted to offer my condolances on your loss.” The man looks puzzled, but then a smile breaks through and he says. “Thanks a lot, but everyone is fine really. It’s just that my wife had us join the Baptist church and I had to give up drinking. But my brothers are still Catholics, so it didn’t affect them.”

[whitmanic]

You want everyone to be able to slot into a pride and prejudice au but no one can accurately fit into the niche that Mr Darcy and Elizabeth have cornered which is completely and uniquely deranged and sophisticated in a way no marvel character, nay, not even an over watch character, can dare compete with

[whitmanic]

[submalevolentgrace]

miss piggy: you are sad and pathetic and small and far too green, both your status and wealth are an embarrassment, and your mother’s voice is shrill and painful… un. like. moi! *hair swish*

kermit: *stunned open mouth silence*

miss piggy: yet every day since i first saw you at the dance all i have been able to think about is how you are suitable for nothing in life but to be my bride! you are below me in every possible way but you simply must let me marry you!

kermit, flailing uncontrollably: THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?!?!

[campyvillain]

i know this please help me

[campyvillain]

if you seek skeek at my slorse you hate me at my worst

[campyvillain]

HOW THE FUCK DOES THE SYAING GO

[campyvillain]

cool news i think i have some thing wrong with me

[clearlyautomaticpainter]

[guava-jarritos]

[campyvillain]

it happened again

[strayyvoxel]

SILLY LARRY AND THE FLOATING PUSSY

[fitzjubi-deactivated20230204]

[campyvillain]

new development in my brain loss story: i deadass just forgot what jerma was called

[campyvillain]

i couldn’t make this up if i tried

[authoratmidnight]

i still have NO idea what OP means by ‘Jerma’. That’s, not a thing. I just get random twt account when I google the name.

[campyvillain]

i wish i was you.

[campyvillain]

hey guys great news. guess who saw a doctor recently and it turns out my shitty comprehension skills that coincidentally got worse around the same time i got hit in the head with a spinning loose bench board in middle school probably wasnt just an autism thing and chances are i have aphasia that’s just been unchecked this whole time

[sevdrag]

Happy ending

[capricornpropaganda]

Hollywood needs to bring back making movies on a shoe string budget instead of funneling millions into dull n inspired cash grabs…that’s how we find out who’s talented and who’s hiding behind cgi

[catchymemes]