so tired @benjisbento - Tumblr Blog

Hello I am here again to let y’all know that my commissions are open! Check ‘em out!

#art commissions #commissions open #dnd art #bg3 art #ffxiv art #character design #character art #comms open #mito draws

saintpyxis

Raffle Prize for @benjisbento of their stunning gal Ridley

#ridley #kiq #i love her so much ahhh #she looks so amazing in jays style #im gonna be staring at her all day 🥰#friends art

synstruckart

oh my god i can FINALLY SHOW Y'ALL THE WORK I DID ON THE @losthavenguild INFERNAL HERITAGE ZINE :D

here, take one of the illustrations i painted for the main anthology :) stay tuned for the second painting later this week....

anyway the kickstarter is still live! we're still far short of the goal but the team is discussing alternative options to get this project realised if we don't get funded. in the meantime please please do check it out, shares likes comments are all appreciated!

odd-alchemist

Rather than making a second post i'm just screenshotting this and putting it here! my Tumblr messages are open too!

#friends art #go comm jake his art is fucking amazing #and hes also a cool guy

geekdawson

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have.

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation.

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying.

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age.

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse.

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery.

#the moment in my life that i stopped respondibg to subtext was monumental for me #its not easy #and i can still get reactive #or anxious #but for the most part i remind myself #if someone wants to communicate something with me #they need to be direct #otherwise its not my job to read between their lines #because i lost so much time reading between lines #so much time and energy #free yourself #make people communicate with you #it also helped me communicate better #because i realized that if i didnt want to analyze subtext i shouldnt make others do it #and if there was something i wanted someone to know i either had to tell them directly or accept that they may not get the hints

butchfagminotaur

i'm both dumber and smarter than you think so don't underestimate me because i'm actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don't be surprised if i'm dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

caffeinatedopossum

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

toastyglow

OP, hope you don’t mind--this got me thinking abt handling my own internal Sad Little Guy

lesbiancapybara

yr-tiktok-mom

superchat

#i want to be that shopping cart

i-homeostasis

How do you feel about trans boy Noya?

Fuckin’ love the idea of transboy Noya and I have a crew who feels the same.

@tiredasahi and @truejudgmentandpasta yo come on and scream with us about transboy Noya

benjisbento

For some reason tumblr just informed me yesterday that I was tagged in this post 8 years ago and y’know what I’m not even mad. It’s still true

#haikyuu!!

benjisbento

I know Sept just started but since I’m transitioning from my summer job to school job, paychecks are gonna be a little weird, so I gotta make sure I can make Oct rent ;v; I’m not quite ready to open yet but I’m opening a waitlist of sorts!

If you donate $5 to MY KO-FI anytime this month, I’ll send you a 20% off code when comms open in October. This code will be good at least through the end of the year.

Thanks for your support!

I know Sept just started but since I’m transitioning from my summer job to school job, paychecks are gonna be a little weird, so I gotta make sure I can make Oct rent ;v; I’m not quite ready to open yet but I’m opening a waitlist of sorts!

If you donate $5 to MY KO-FI anytime this month, I’ll send you a 20% off code when comms open in October. This code will be good at least through the end of the year.

Thanks for your support!

#commissions #character art #dnd art #commissions open #commission sale #sale #help 🥲