fade like photographs

"well I guess this is growing up"

[brad-elliot-blog]

Brad couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head “If you wanted to get my attention, you could’ve done it a little less violently, now the doors feelings are hurt.. Fucking Hell Bennett” he joked, shaking his head. “Nah i think you’re right, no one’s peeking their heads from doors so you’re okay. Otherwise just blame me” he shrugged, smiling when he saw the camera “So you’re finally gonna get out and use that thing huh?” he chuckled “I’m glad you’re thinking that way though, because it’s not your fault Bennett” he smiled gently. he couldn’t help but chuckle, tilting Bennett’s chin upwards “Don’t blush and look away from me, i wanna see the embarrassment on your face..” he chuckled and shook his head. “Okay i’m tagging along.. for the photos i mean.. wow” he laughed “You have no say, lets go” 

[bennett-young-blog]

Laughing, Bennett simply shrugged his shoulders at Brad’s words and put his hands up slightly. “You know me, I have a thing for dramatics, getting your attention in a normal way just wouldn’t cut it.” He teased in return before giving a small pout as soon as the door was mentioned. “I didn’t mean to hurt the doors feelings though, I’ll have to write it an apology letter or something.” One thing that Bennett never expected to do again, was joke around with Brad and now that he could, Bennett couldn’t help but feel appreciative towards the other. “Nah, I couldn’t blame you and still sleep at night, I’d have to take the blame for it. People around here already know that I’m not the most coordinated anyway.” He replied with a chuckle. It felt nice to talk to someone who already knew so much about him and with everything that Brad had done for him, Bennett wanted to thank him in any way possible. “Yeah, I figured it was about time and...well..thank you...for all of you help with all of this, it really means the world to me.” He said honestly, looking up at the others eyes and chuckling as he felt a hand tilting his chin. A large smile crossed over his features at the touch and he stuck his tongue out in a teasing manner towards Brad. “You just like knowing that you embarrassed me.” He replied teasingly. The idea of hanging out with Brad again just like they used to had Bennett’s lips curving into a large smile. “I wouldn’t have said no anyway but now you have to let me take pictures of you, you have no say there.” He beamed.

[bennett-young-blog]

its-kayleybitch:

Kayley smiled gently as he spoke, shaking her head “You should really get better, you’d think with all the scare tactics i’d used on you something would have set in..” she joked, making her way over to the boy “Seriously though, how are you doing? You’ve been a little missing in action” she nodded “Understandably of course..” she half shrugged 

It felt strange to be hanging out with Kayley and talking as if they were friends but it seemed almost natural after the conversation that they’d had. Bennett had never thought that he’d get to this point with the girl but when she’d opened up to him, he couldn’t help but feel closer to her. “You’d think that I’d be at least good enough to get out of the door. Clearly, I’m going to have to find other methods.” Bennett replied with a small shrug before shrugging his shoulders. “Better...I mean, I’m working on getting totally better but I’m almost there, I think.” He replied with a small smile.

[kailani-stiehl-blog]

Kailani smiled as he spoke, shaking her head - refusing to let go of him just yet “You don’t have to thank me, i didn’t do much..” she gave a half shrug, smiling as she finally pulled back “I think you’re doing really well.. under the circumstances” she smiled up at him “I think you deserve better anyway Bennett, honestly. I really do” she nodded “You’re too kind and too sweet to have somebody hurt you like that and get away with it” She nudged him gently “Thankyou” she laughed “Even if i do happen to go a bit motor mouth..” she shrugged 

[bennett-young-blog]

The last thing that Bennett wanted to do was let go of the hug that Kailani had him in. Most of the time, he craved human touch and right now was no exception. “Well you came to see me when I needed someone, that’s plenty if you ask me.” He said honestly before smiling brightly at the girl. Kailani was someone that he would never regret meeting and as she said he was doing well, he couldn’t help but simply smile more. By getting out, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. “...I think the timing, it was just off and that’s no one’s fault..I mean, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me but even so...he would’ve stayed or told me before or something....if he really cared and....well, it’s okay that he didn’t feel that way.” Bennett said with a small smile, laughing at her words. “You are not a motor mouth, you’re just talkative and that’s okay because I love listening to the things that you have to say.”

[bennett-young-blog]

itsbeccayoung:

Rebecca laughed and shook her head “I’m okay don’t worry..” she smiled “Nothing happened not a thing” she smiled, taking his arm gently and pulling him away from the scene “Just leave it there, blame someone else.. lets go” she laughed and shook her head, smiling over at him “De ja vu from when you first got here huh?” she laughed, smiling and shrugged “How you feeling? You okay?” she asked “Give me a hug.. you can be covered in coffee too” she teased, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. 

Bennett could only chuckle at his sister’s words as he allowed her to pull him from the mess before him, They had always been similar in certain ways and clumsiness was a shared trait between the two, they both knew how to handle messes like the one that had just been made. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I didn’t see a single thing happen in the first place.” He replied with a small chuckle. “But what if someone else gets in trouble because of us?” He asked, slightly concerned and not wanting the blame to fall on another person. Laughing, Bennett nodded his head. “Yeah, it reminds me of my first day. There’s broken glass and you’re trying to rush me away from the scene.” Bennett teased before nodding his head and shrugging. “I’m as good as I’m going to be. I mean, I’m getting better.” He replied, instantly returning the hug that his sister was engulfing him in. “It’s okay, coffee isn’t all that bad to be covered in.”

[itsbeccayoung-blog]

As Rebecca’s body collided with the other, she barely even noticed. The girl was in way too deep. She was slipping up and she knew it. Something inside of her begged her and pleaded her to stop, to let her brother take the reigns on this one, but it was too late for that at this stage. Rebecca had slipped further than she had in a long time. She refused to close her eyes, even to the point where she was trying to avoid blinking. Each time she did she would see it all flash before her eyes again, her life. Like it had when she was under. When she was nothing more than a lifeless form and it still kept her wondering if she still was that lifeless form - now with a new and vivid life made up in front of her. It would make sense, she was finally getting what she wanted. She was reunited with her family, Zeke was telling her he loved her and showing it too.. It almost seemed a little too good to be true and surrounded by the waves of emotion she had been feeling from others, it made it feel so surreal. When her brother took her hands and pulled them from her skin she felt her heart rate increase. She pulled against his grip just slightly, trying to release her hands from his. She didn’t speak, only shook her head repeatedly. Her body wouldn’t allow her to do anymore than that. 

[bennett-young-blog]

The minute that Bennett approached Becca, he knew something was wrong. Normally, when he approached his sister he would at least receive a greeting of some sort but when Bennett walked towards her, the only greeting he received was her closed eyes. Panic settled through Bennett as he watched her before him, there was something wrong and he knew in that instant that he needed to fix it. “Becca, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, reaching out to run his hand over her arms, trying to show her that he was there. After all his sister had done for him, Bennett had worried that it had been too much, that somehow his distress had pushed her over the edge. As he felt her pulling against his grip, his worst fears were coming true, Becca would normally never do that and instantly Bennett knew he needed to do something. “What happened? Did something happen? Are you okay?” He asked in a fast paced tone as he gently allowed her hand to fall from his. The last thing that he wanted to do right now was push her into something that was uncomfortable and if her hands were pulling from his grip, she clearly didn’t want them there. “Becca, I need you to listen to me...It’s...It’s Bennett, are you okay?” He asked, concern dripping from his tone.

[itsbeccayoung-blog]

There were days. That was the best way to describe it. Days where emotions of herself, but mostly others tended to consume Rebecca.Days where she felt reality slipping from her grasp and that way too familiar feeling of not knowing how to separate what was real and what wasn’t. Somewhere deep down in Rebecca, she still wasn’t one hundred percent convinced that what was happening? Was real. That maybe it was all her subconscious imagination. So there she was, pacing the hallway, scratching at the skin in her arms, there was a slight tremble to her body as she stared towards the ground. The girl deep in thought, trying to wake herself up or shut herself down. She wanted to shake this feeling, to confirm what her fate had been that night after the reckless mansion, once and for all - the millions of questions that flew through her brain all came down to one. Was she dead or alive? She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice the other presence enter the room - let alone that she’d nearly bumped into them. 

[bennett-young-blog]

With the amount of emotions that Bennett had been feeling lately had reached the point where they were too much and he needed to let go. This lead to the other leaving his room quite often recently, trying to get out and socialize again so that he could apologize for his behavior and thank those who had helped him. One of the people that he needed to thank was his sister and after all of the time that had passed, he figured now would be as good of a time as ever to thank her for all that she had done. The more he searched, the more he grew worried as he didn’t find her until finally he noticed her shaking form, hands scratching at her own skin. Panic filled Bennett as she bumped into him, normally she would at least say hi to him or some sort of greeting but the last thing that he had expected was for her to stay silent. “Becca?” He asked curiously, moving to stand in front of her and gently taking her hands in his to stop them from clawing at her skin.

[killian-stark]

Killian was on his way down to the lake when he heard the loud bang of the door. The noise had come from the direction he needed to go, so he had no choice but to go check it out. “You alright?” he asked, noticing only one other person standing in the hallway.

[bennett-young-blog]

Bennett had hoped that the loud bang that he’d created with the door hadn’t disturbed anyone but as he glanced up from where he stood in front of it, he couldn’t help but notice the figure approach him. “I’m so sorry.” He replied instantly, nodding his head at the others words and giving a slight laugh. “Yep, just clumsy as always, sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” He replied instantly.

[itsbeccayoung-blog]

Rebecca had been in the kitchen. She needed coffee. She hadn’t had one yet and it had given her a headache radiating through her skull. She was headed back to her room, eager to check on her brother. She was still so stressed out about him. As she approached she heard the door, jumping only slightly but enough to slightly spill the coffee on her hand, which shocked her again “ow jesus..” without thinking? She dropped the cup, jumping when she did, backing away “oh god” she laughed, smiling over at Bennett “Good one..” she teased 

[bennett-young-blog]

The last thing that Bennett had expected from himself was for him to finally be leaving his room but with no sight of Becca, he figured that it wouldn’t hurt to pop out for a few hours and then when he returned, they could spend time together. However, the last thing that Bennett had wanted to do was disturb his sister and as soon as the door slammed, he feared that he had. Watching the coffee spill to the floor, a look of shock crossed over his features and he was instinctively walking towards Becca to try and see if she had been hurt in the process. Laughing, he couldn’t help but shake his head slightly. “This one is all my fault.” He teased before glancing over at her. “Are you hurt?”

[kailani-stiehl-blog]

Kailani had been beyond worried about her new friend, in fact she had been on her way to check on him. With everything thatd been going on with her, she slightly understood the feeling of loss of someone you loved, more than she had when bennett first told her. She looked up when she heard the door bang close, smiling widely when she saw Bennett. She ran over and threw her arms around him in a tight hug “You’re up! I missed you! How are you? Are you okay?” she spoke all too quickly “Slowing down.. stop me whenever” she laughed, refusing to release him yet. 

[bennett-young-blog]

The amount of love that Bennett had been feeling from those around him had Bennett’s sad demeanor lightening more and more by the hour. It had been hard for him, despite all of the support that he had received but without their help, he didn’t know if he could’ve made it through his dark time as quickly as he did. Even though he wasn’t fully healed, he could smile again and as he was being held in a tight hug, all Bennett could do was beam. “I missed you too, thank you, thank you for everything.” He said softly, nodding his head. “I’m getting there, it’s hard but....I’m working on it.” He replied with a chuckle before shaking his head. “I’ll never stop you though, don’t worry about it.”

[its-kayleybitch-blog]

Kayley hadn’t been expecting to run into the boy, The last time Kayley had seen Bennett? He’d been a broken mess and she had slightly opened up to the boy, which she still half cursed herself about. She had weakness now a weakness that could be used against her and she kicked herself for it. But in another light, she knew Bennett was harmless, he wouldn’t do anything with it. Kayley kinked her eyebrow upwards when she watched him curse himself. “You need to work on being sneaky” 

[bennett-young-blog]

The last thing that Bennett had wanted was to disturb others, especially after he was finally getting out of his room after all of the time that he had spent locked away. Although, with the loud noise that the door had made, it was likely that he had probably startled someone. Biting his lower lip, Bennett’s eyes scanned around, looking for anyone who had heard the noise when suddenly he spotted Kayley. With all of her help lately, he couldn’t help but smile slightly when he noticed it was her, allowing himself to laugh softly at her words. “It’s never been my strong point.” He admitted.

[brad-elliot-blog]

The worry Brad had felt for Bennett? Only sky rocketed as the days passed by. He wasn’t sure what to worry most about, it was all so troubling and all Brad wanted to do was to drag Bennett out of the mess he seemed to be entangled in. He had been checking up on him every now and again and today? it was no different. So when he saw Bennett leaving his room he couldn’t help but smile gently to himself, chuckling as he watched the door close a little too loudly. “Didn’t expect to see you up and about..” he admitted “i’m glad.” He headed over closer to him “It’s good to see you out of the sheets..” he chuckled trying to make a joke “Not that i should be complaining about that..” he tried to joke again. 

[bennett-young-blog]

Lately, all of the things that Brad had been doing for him was enough to cause a warm feeling to spread over him every time the other visited. If someone would have hurt him as much as Bennett was sure that he hurt Brad, he wasn’t sure if he would have forgiven him the way that Brad was. This doesn’t mean that Bennett wasn’t grateful, however, he was more than thrilled to have the other around and the minute that he noticed that it was Brad chuckling at him, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad that it was you and not someone else, I thought I’d wake up the entire damn house.” He replied with a nervous chuckle, walked towards Brad’s approaching form with a large smile crossing over his features. Instead of replying to the others words about being about, he simply held up a camera. “I....I think it’s time that I realize that he didn’t care enough to stay...and that’s no ones fault.” Bennett whispered softly, eyes glancing down towards the ground before shooting back up to Brad’s face. However, this gaze instantly was directed back to the floor as he felt his cheeks heat up, giving a large burst of laughter. “Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll get back in.” He teased, gently bumping his shoulder against the others. 

[imwritingpoems-deactivated20200]

I don't remember falling out of love with you. All I remember is that you left and the days started to fade into one another and when I think back to that time it is just a haze in my mind. It’s all just a haze of sleeping on my bathroom floor and smoking to get the taste of you out of my mouth, but my tastebuds will never seem to forget you. It’s a blur of aching but one thing that I do remember so vividly is that it hurt; it hurt so much that I eventually became numb to everything. For a while, I felt fortunate enough that the hurting had stopped. For a while I was put out of my misery. That is until I realized that not being able to feel anything is paralyzing, and it is an entirely different type of pain, far worse than the pain I had experienced previously. I can’t explain it, but I remember that for a while, “I love you” had no meaning to me. And I started to wonder if a heart was still a heart if I could not love with it, if I could not feel with it.

October 6th, 2015 (via imwritingpoems)

[kyun]

BBC’s Children In Need

[bennett-young-blog]

It had taken a while for Bennett to feel as though he was truly ready to leave his room again but as he glanced down at the camera that Becca had purchased him for their birthday, he knew that today was the day. Sure, things still hurt and Bennett wasn’t entirely back to himself but he was starting to see the positive and that was all he could ask for. Smiling softly, he picked up the object and shut his door with a little too much force, creating a loud boom that he was sure the others in the hallway would hear. “Shit.” He whispered softly, hoping he hadn’t disturbed anyone.

[bennett-young-blog]

I have bundles of homework and I'm headed into work right now so replies should be done later tonight or early tomorrow.

[itstylerdawson-blog]

Tyler smiled gently at Bennett “I’m not gonna give you some lecture, because i’m not your father and i don’t want to come off that way or anything” he nodded “But.. I want you to know that you don’t have to be alone through all of this. This shit.. It’s so fucking hard.. everything is so fucking hard and you physically cannot be alone through it all.. because it will fucking destroy you, kid” he shook his head “And i care enough that i don’t want to watch you destroy yourself, i don’t want you to end up like me.. Trapped in some fucking eternity that i never wanted okay?” he sighed “So honestly. If you don’t want to talk about anything and get all deep and meaningful? That’s fine. I’m okay with that. I hide that shit all the time..” he chuckled gently “But know that you can come to me, even if it’s just to play some lame fucking video game that you’ll probably kick my ass at because i’m technically old as shit” he laughed “I’m pretty sure i’m rooming with your mate, Zeke anyway” he shrugged “So seriously kid, Don’t put yourself through being alone. When you have people that care” 

[bennett-young-blog]

Most of the time, Bennett didn’t enjoy sharing his emotions with others but throughotut the past few days, he’d been opening up more and more to those around him. It seemed almost as though he was reverting to his old self that felt that they could tell everyone anything that he had to say and although it was caused by immense pain, he appreciated that fact. Hearing Tyler’s words about not having to be alone simply made this easier. In the back of his mind, he always knew that he didn’t have to be alone but when he was caught up in the moment, it was harder to realize. “Thank you.” Bennett whispered, nodding his head as soon as he heard the others words. “I’m...I couldn’t ask for someone to be anymore helpful than you already are being but I think....I think I might like that.” He said honestly, awkwardly showing his hands in his pockets as his eyes cast downward. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to kick you ass in video games, especially if Zeke is going to be there. We can kick your ass together or vice versa because I hate to brag but I’m pretty good at video games.” He said with a small chuckle, nodding his head with Tyler’s words. “A long time ago I probably wouldn’t have believed you but now....I realize that I don’t have to and thank you..Thank you.” He whispered softly.

[itsbeccayoung-blog]

Rebecca sighed, she couldn’t even imagine how that would feel. The fact that people kept hurting her brother. It made her angry. She didn’t understand. He was a good person, he didn’t hurt the people around him, he didn’t put himself first.. he literally put his everything into all that he did and it made her angry that people took advantage of that. “How can you say you love someone and just do that to them.. take it all away” she whispered shaking her head “That’s not love.. Thats.. Its betrayal and manipulation” she frowned “Hey stop it!” she shook her head “No. This has nothing to do with who you are okay? This has nothing to do with something you have done. Bennett.. You are the innocent here” she sighed “I can’t just.. let you lay here and blame yourself” she frowned. As she listened to him defend Evan, she shook her head “I.. Didn’t mean literally” she smiled gently, squeezing him tight “This is why you’re amazing B, even after he’s hurt you like this.. You’re defending him..” she whispered “But honestly.. I will be giving him a serious piece of my mind. No one hurts my brother and gets away with it.” she kissed his cheek gently “I promise you.. You will get that, i swear to you” she nodded “You will find someone that will be so damn good to you that evan will become a distant memory” she smiled gently, wiping his cheeks gently. “I wish i could’ve been here more..” she whispered “I know that i’m right.. and i love you too okay? I’m here for good and i’m not leaving and you can talk to me whenever you need anything, whether its 4 in the morning or 2 in the afternoon” she smiled gently “I promise i’ll be here.. I’ll only ever be a phonecall away” 

[bennett-young-blog]

In the back of his mind, Bennett knew that he wouldn’t erase the time that he’d spent with Evan but that didn’t mean that he didn’t wish that the pain would stop. All Bennett wanted was to be loved and the fact that he was for a split second before it was ripped away broke Bennett’s heart entirely. Despite this pain, he never wanted Evan to feel anything even remotely close to what he was right now and he wished the other all the happiness in the world, even if Bennett didn’t seem to be able to find any. “...I don’t know, I really don’t but....I don’t think he’d lie...about loving me...Or do you think that he did?” Bennett whispered softly. The idea of the other never loving him back and simply stating those words hurt even worse and he hoped that Becca didn’t believe that Evan had lied about loving him. Listening to her words had him curling into her side, shaking his head slightly. “Well if I’m going to be honest...I wish that I wasn’t innocent and then I could blame it on something, anything...At least then I’d have a reason for all of this.” Finding peace in a situation like the one that he was in now didn’t seem like a simple task but if he had something to blame it on, it might become easier. His sisters smile distracted him slightly, trying his best to smile in return although he was sure that it looked more like a twitch than anything. In the back of his mind, Bennett knew that he had to start somewhere. “....I know but ....He doesn’t deserve any pain, I mean..Fuck, this hurt....It hurts so bad but he’s doing this to better himself and that’s all that I can expect of him...Is to look out for him...As much as it hurts.” He admitted softly. “Maybe I will..eventually...” If he was going to be honest, Bennett didn’t think that he ever would be he didn’t want to voice his opinions on that at the moment. “You were here as often as you could be and that’s all that I could ever ask for, that’s all that I ever wanted...And I can say the same to you, I’m never going to leave you and when you feel like you need someone, I’m only a bed away.”