Ankylopoda Truther

25 | He/Him | Turtle Enthusiest I have an approximate knowledge of many things

[furryprovocateur]

when i was younger i never understood "some of them want to be abused" but now as an adult i'm like unfortunately real

[pantestudines]

nothing like 108° car repair in a strange town

[escuerzoresucitado]

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[imperatoralicia]

He gave me 19 caps and then ascended to heaven. 

[toskarin]

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

[bloodynosebitch]

sports bra and boxers can be lingerie if you're enlightened and impure of heart

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

(2012 minecraft parody voice) I am mining... there are no blocks of sand.... you are digging down with me.... hand in unbreakable hand... and I hope we mine.... I hope we both mine.......

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

myth: astrology doesn't work

fact: astrology used to work perfectly and apparent planetary motion corresponded exactly (+/- 0°0'1") to the progressions of life on earth, until the advent and subsequent ubiquitous adoption of the radio wave introduced so much noise into the ionosphere that communications between the heaven and the earth were irrevocably scrambled; now, astrology still technically works, but it plays out in such a high-entropy set of events (see: pseudorandomness) that it has become functionally indistinguishable from free will.

[ofchaosgoddess]

Coming off a string of audiobooks about birds/dinosaurs has me going “oh that happened so recently, wow” about events that occured 40,000 years ago

[wizardarchetypes]

it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.

[nocturnaltigerrevelation]

>have problem

>recognize it as part of my divine punishment

>no problem

[sybaritick]

englishy pinglishy unlike the francophones us in the anglosphere have word-based stress

when the ac-CENT's not on THE right syl-LA-ble the scansion will quickly stop making much sense

[lady-of-vitreous-sight]

the sinister fetishist would like to touch your left hand inappropriately

[atomicwrongs]

Having your interests mocked as a kid and general low self esteem will have you insulting the things you like even when they're generally considered very good. Because you like it, and historically when you like something it's stupid and not worth anyone's time. So you will say nonsense like "I recommend this book/game/film, but it's okay if you hate it, it sucks, I really enjoyed it but that's because I'm an idiot" and you are recommending them the Citizen fucking Kane of that particular media type. And importantly: you need to stop doing this it is killing you

[number1mongrel]

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you are now a cat in the warrior cats universe! Spin these wheels for your name!

Do you like it?

YES!!!

yes

eh it's okay

no.

IM MOON MOON

results/other

Remaining time: 2 days 18 hours

note: I (the owner of this blog and maker of wheels) am not into warrior cats! I just thought this would be fun to make

(prefixes and suffixes from @yarrowleef)

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

I DON'T WANNA BE DEAD WOLF