1000 LIVE CRICKETS ON A KEYBOARD

Hey I’m Lizzard. 28, bi, anti-zionist Jew, and professional babygirlifier of old men. One time I had a top score on the Webkinz Arcade, so I guess you could call me an elite gamer

[xanaxathedisco]

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The Beach Boys | Kokomo 👌 🌊 🍹

[escuerzoresucitado]

shooo

[mistbjorn]

[dogpuppy]

[screenshotsofdespair]

[shock-micro]

don't cry because it's over. attack. attack everything around you. do spin attacks

[lumsel]

sometime's you'll be reading the wikipedia article for Marshton's Ant and halfway down the page you'll see "marshton's ant is omniscient and very small[1]" and you'll go what the fuck so you click omniscient and be redirected to a page called Omniscience (ant biology) that tells you "in ant biology, an ant is considered omniscient if it knows what its own ass looks like" and you're like oh okay and the disappointment follows you for the rest of the day

[tamamoland]

let’s be real the best tumblr has EVER looked was the short span of time where you could slap code into posts and we had classics like these

tumblr has never been closer to the core aesthetic and sense of humor of its userbase 

[princecroutons]

face of a boy who tried to jump up onto the bed and missed

[princecroutons]

[wikicamp2]

[iusedtobecharming-deactivated20]

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

[rehearsing]

happy too tired July everyone

[offspring]

[galaxywarp]

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

[hussyknee]

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

[mint-swirl]

*trying to come up with rules for my new society after successfully leading the revolution* why don’t we just repurpose 5e

[despazito]

as a kid i constantly watched roadrunner and coyote cartoons and i’d play roadrunner and coyote with my dad which involved me running loops in my house bc the rooms made a circle while he tied a couch cushion over a beam to fall on me like an ACME anvil

[despazito]

happy fathers day

[dorothylarouge]

I feel like id be fucked in this situation

[lakemojave]

I have a coworker who couldn't watch the Beastie Boys' Intergalactic video because it contains a big boxy robot like this and said that when she was young all her nightmares were about getting chased by a big robot just like the one in the video and this episode

[mousegirlheart]

What is the charge? Smeeking a flower? A succulent smeeking flower?