Preparing for the postpartum fight
I read news articles about the lack of postpartum care for injured women, hear the stories my friends tell about 6 week checks happening more than 15 weeks after birth (where an episiotomy was conducted) or deciding with your partner to take a full year out of socialising to cope with birth trauma and PND instead of trying to get some help.
I think about how we are told over and over by the media that the NHS is dangerously underfunded, and the targets for natural births are leading to both pregnant people and babies dying, in a first world country.
I think about my own antenatal care, in which I have not seen the same midwife twice and I doubt anyone would recognise me 15 minutes after I left an appointment; where my husband is made to sit in a corridor with all the other (male) partners like they are lined up to see the headteacher, but seemingly a female birth partner is allowed in the wating room.
I've listened to a phlebotomist tell off a young woman for being late when she was clearly waiting for over 45 minutes and it was the phlebotomist who was sitting in her office delaying the whole waiting line of patients.
I've watched a midwife tick the safeguarding box before she'd asked me the question "do you feel safe at home?" ...The list goes on - its truly been a frightening and disappointing experience that I do not wish to repeat. And I haven't even given birth yet.
Reading today that (literally) countless women suffer in silence with issues of urinary or fecal (or double) incontinence and "no one knows who should see you" - in several cases leaving these women leaking for over 5 years (and I'm sure plenty longer for others who do not have the bravery, language or time to spend fighting for a solution) brings a lump to my throat. The horseshoe of attitudes to childbirth is truly astounding - from social media gurus encouraging orgasmic birthing, to fearmongering naysayers who warn the "trend" for homebirths makes birth look too easy, to those campaigning for recognition of unacknowledged PTSD from birth.
I do believe it's possible to give birth without medical intervention (under non-emergency circumstances), but, my god, am I grateful that I live in a time and a place where a set of highly trained professionals are available to me should I need them. I am aiming for a home birth, but I remain open to the fact that it may not be possible either because I do not yet understand the reality of what I will be required to do, or because something happens that makes it no longer the right or sensible choice.
But one thing is for sure, my experience of hospital care so far means I will not be taking no for an answer if I am not content that I am being sufficiently cared for by the NHS. Giving up because finding care is too hard is quite simply giving up on yourself. I see my parents and parents-in-law fail to pursue aftercare for themselves after hip replacements or to even call for emergency care when they are in chronic pain over the course of several days or weeks, due to what I believe is a misplaced deference to the medical profession, or at least the system around it. Combine that with the constant reporting that the NHS is understaffed and underfunded - they simply internalise the idea that their pain is not sufficient to warrant "bothering" a doctor about.
I am adamant that I will not suffer the same delusion. If I am in pain, or my body fails to recover adequately, I will not suffer in silence. I will not assume that the situation is unsolvable or something I am expected to manage alone. Whilst I am lucky enough to be able to afford to solve some of the underfunding and understaffing problems by seeking private or alternative care, I realise that this simple masks the problem. Allowing more and more people to bypass the NHS because it isn't capable of providing an adequate service, of course, only speeds up its dismantlement. For every individual working too many hours, with a real-terms loss in earnings over the last ten years, and having worked through the last two years of what must have been a daily hellscape, I do not want to suggest that the problem also includes the attitude of those working in healthcare. But truly, if you have already chosen to tick the box to confirm you've asked the safeguarding question based on the simple fact that the woman sitting in front of you doesn't "seem" like she's unsafe - where is your duty of care?
jbbartram-illu
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