let me kiss kim kitsuragi you cowards

Icon by @puffychi

[cheaphalloweencostume]

sorry i didn’t celebrate laura palmer’s birthday because this laid me out so bad i couldnt function for the rest of the day

[clockoftheheart]

thank you journalism

[pronouncingitwang]

[ID: 2 screenshots of interview text. The first reads

PLAYBOY: Do you ever get tired of talking about your friendship with Matt?

AFFLECK: I understand the questions. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, they're friends, they're pals, they grew up together, isn't it great and cute? I get all kinds of questions, like, "So how's Matt?" or "What's Matt like?" And I don't know what sort of answers are expected.

Instead of saying Matt's fine and he's doing his thing, I'II be like, "Well, let me tell you about Matt. Matt can give a blow job in a way that's incredible, really special." Most of the time it's like Entertainment Tonight, and they can't air it. But then sometimes you think you're safe, but someone writes it down and it ends up being taken out of context in Out magazine.

PLAYBOY: Does Matt ever get pissed off about that?

AFFLECK: Matt gets it. We have a similar sense of humor, which I think is the main reason we're compatible as friends and in terms of writing. He always thinks it's funny. It's just a question of the rest of them.

PLAYBOY: Let's see if you've learned your lesson: What is Matt Damon really like?

AFFLECK: [Laughs] He gives a really great blow job.

The second reads

PLAYBOY: In his 1999 Playboy Interview, Affleck jokingly said of you, "He gives a really great blow job." Care to return the compliment?

DAMON: I do give great head. I definitely give a better blow job than Ben. I mean, I'm not lucky enough to be able to blow myself, but if I could, I'd never leave the house.

/end ID]

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

which could mean nothing

[sociallyunacceptableart4]

This was my art school’s water fountain. Drink from them wolf tiddies

[mando-lore]

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.

[mando-lore]

[mando-lore]

Give it a day

[alexaloraetheris]

[gravityjunior]

Starting a collection

[winged-void]

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

[parapetowki]

rip gideon nav, you would have loved 'silver springs' by fleetwood mac

[xtec]

This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now

[noneuclideangarf]

spent too long on this

[ismenes]

When my son was about to turn two, strangers would offer condolences. There’s a collective cultural dread of toddlers, who get described more like animals than people. Kids in their "terrible twos," I was warned, are illogical, unregulated, and feral. "Good luck," people would say. "He'll grow out of it."

I'm lucky: My son is a very easygoing kid. But I remember the first tantrum he threw for me. He was standing by our front door and asked to go outside. So I opened the door and grabbed his shoes. But as soon as he stepped onto the porch, he pointed back into the house.

"Inside," he said.

"Okay," I said. I picked him up and brought him inside.

But as soon as I shut the front door, he pointed outside.

"Outside!" he said.

You know where this is going. We went back and forth, inside and outside, again and again. He got more frustrated. And I got more frustrated. Eventually he wound up straddling the threshold of our house, sobbing. When I tried to comfort him, he screamed at me. "You go wherever you want!" I said. He just got madder. I felt trapped, convinced he’d concocted the whole episode as a pretext to unleash his rage at me. It was ridiculous. I consoled myself with the thought that he was just being a toddler.

But later I kept thinking about him wailing at our front door, one foot inside, one foot outside. His misery wasn't unreasonable, or trivial, or silly. My son was experiencing the agony of wanting two things that were impossible to have at the same time. What a fundamentally human sorrow! My son wasn't being a toddler; he was being a person. Adults may not walk around howling, but that same pain rages within us. In that moment, as a father, I was powerless to solve my son's problem. I told him he could go wherever he wanted, but of course I was wrong. To be where he wanted was impossible.

Make Believe: On Telling Stories to Children by Mac Barnett

[stars-bean]

Golden Girls | 2.15 - "Before and After"

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[pompomposting]

he is encouraging you to take life one step at a time

[melonwah]

[aspirationalbrand]

amazing things happening in late series columbo episodes

[official-dad-blog]

Reblog so Gen Z and Alpha can learn how to fax stuff

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

this is what i mean when i say "sniles so sneetly" btw

[onmywayoutokay-deactivated20240]

i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[autophoenix]

me doing stand up: and what about the rain? when she comes here she cleanses us, and is good. we love the rain.

audience: we love the rain.

[orbsteeb]

its the year 2013 and you can 3dprint a dildo that is also a bong and Dennys has a tumblr and most phones have TWO cameras now, one on the front and one on the back and there is a nonzero chance that we will have a reality show set in space within 5 years.

it appears that gentle death still stands sentinel at the end of our lives and casts a shadow back over us as if he were interposed between us and a fantastic radiance but OTOH crowdsourcing has made it incredibly easy to buy a “minimalist wallet” made of aircraft-grade aluminium weave and hey

dennys has a tumblr, so you can keep up with dennys, and new dennys developments, in realtime