I don't normally get anxious, but I have friends that are anxious all the time. I have a lot more confidence than most people, and while sometimes it's a problem, often it prevents me from having anxiety when others might have some. I still have a hard time understanding why people get anxious over some things, but I realize that they're still problems in someone else's life.
Recently, as a junior in high school, I've had IMMENSE anxiety about college, and scholarships, and figuring out where to start since I knew practically nothing about how any of that works. My parents had been reminding me (in love) that I needed to start applying for scholarships, I need to look at colleges- maybe even apply to some.
Well, I started getting anxious about it to the point where I couldn't even talk about it without tearing up and getting fearful. I know that God is with me, so I shouldn't fear, but I was still afraid. My parents finally brought up (firmly) that I was avoiding it, and I broke down. I was sobbing, and I started to hyperventilate (I've done that before though, so I knew how to handle that part)
Knowing that I'm normally confused about anxiety since I don't experience it often, I didn't expect my parents to understand.
I explained I didn't know what I was doing, and how the only chance I get to go find information about colleges is during other classes when I'm trying to take notes (You have to sign up for an appointment with the counselor, and they'll call you into their office during school hours whenever it's convenient for them). I explained I didn't want to trust my life's future with someone who doesn't care about me.
I fully expected my parents to tell me I was being ridiculous, that I needed to stop the hysterics. I thought they would think of it as an overreaction- but they didn't.
They listened to me, and tried to understand by repeating back what they thought I was saying. I would correct them where they got it wrong, but they listened and understood where I was coming from through a joint communication process. They let me calm down, and told me in positive ways that it was okay, told me in positive ways that I didn't need to stress over thing "A", because there are multiple chances to do that.
But most importantly, they listened and offered relevant solutions.
I don't know how it is for people who get anxiety a lot- but I DO know that if someone is having an anxiety attack, using calm gestures, confirming their feelings are valid, and just listening can help. If you know of solutions to their problem, that may be welcome help once they are calmer.
But one thing I learned from this experience? If someone's getting anxious, validate their feelings, and don't tell them it's not a big deal.
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