Surrender To My Will

affiliated with Citta Alveare rank: veteran citizen lives: Willow's house in Kappa abilities: can use fade

[betterscience]

{Heads Up: i am moving moira to isola, and for that she will be at @bitterscience since i’m too lazy to unfollow everyone here!}

[betterscience]

venomoushelianthus replied to your post: "You know, O'Deorain, we never really did get to...

moira thats gay

Well Aware It’s A Free World We’re Forgetting Everything

[betterscience]

"You know, O'Deorain, we never really did get to speak much here. Still, for what it's worth, I wish you only the best when we return back home. Even if your methods ARE unethical and I cannot approve, your findings still existed. Take care of yourself out there."

This. This was definitely not someone she wanted to see. Nor someone she expected to see. The esteemed Dr. Ziegler herself, coming to wish her goodbye and good tidings, unknowing of the literal hell she had put her through internally. Grinding her teeth, she seethed quietly for a moment before remembering.

None of this mattered.

Relaxing, she gave the other a smile---it wasn’t happy, but more so amused.

“So it takes until we are being booted from this infernal city for the good doctor to bother sharing a visit, hm? Is it because our memories will be wiped and you want a good conscience before such will happen? It won’t matter what you say. None of us will remember. You could yell and scream and curse me out, you could be more than a goody two shoes for once in your life and it wouldn’t matter... And yet, you choose to try and be kind and civil, never breaking that stone cold goodness you’re known for.”

“And you know what? That’s probably why I was drawn to you, Ziegler. The fact you were so irritatingly good, that no matter what you did you did it with such a nice light shone upon you, no one could ever see wrong. It was so infuriating... and so alluring at the same time. It was impossible to get you out of my mind. I so badly wanted to see you slip up just once or even better see me with an ounce of respect and interest... But it never happened.

“So goodbye, Dr. Ziegler, I’m happy to know you’ll be sticking this act out until your death bed, and that I no longer care about your views towards me.”

[betterscience]

"one thing i remember ... " two beers are placed between them. hanzo looks worn - perhaps nearly as much as he had when genji had been here during the winter. "one thing i do recall is not having any memories of this place back on earth." his hand twitches. slowly, he raises his drink. "we may be enemies, next we meet."

Staring at the beer, she rose a brow before taking it, wondering just how many the other had before it caused him to even bother coming to her. She had taken solace in the fact that it was likely neither of them were one for sentiment, and she could leave without having the conversation they were about to. Of course, here it was happening before her, and frankly, she was going to down this drink best she could while it was happening.

“Good to know you can confirm what I had figured,” she muttered, popping off the top of the beer before taking a swig. “Everything will just disappear as though it hadn’t mattered. Makes my life easier anyway.”

Shrugging lightly, she threw the beer back, chugging most of the bottle before bothering to even consider his second statement. Enemies. That was right, Talon kept pestering Hanzo to join their ranks. She was very tightly knit with Talon---not that she minded. It was a very stable source of income even with being stationed out in Oasis and working there.

“If we are enemies, it’s because you didn’t have a chance to listen to me.”

“But given the fact Talon can send me at any time to try and recruit you... If your arrow is at my neck don’t think I won’t retaliate.”

As light hearted as she tried to make those words, they felt like cement in her mouth. Truthfully, the other was probably the closest she’d let a person be with her in a long time. She’d unfortunately decided to let someone in, and knowing that it would likely come to one of them killing another... Hurt. Lips drawing to a thin line, she took another swig of the beer before wiping at her eye and looking away.

“...So maybe just stay out of Oasis so they have no reason to send me to you.”

[betterscience]

"Bye Moira. I'll keep you and Hanzo on my mind while I'm back out there. I-- remember me too, okay?"

Taken by surprise from the statement, she was struck speechless once more. It felt wrong to tell the other she would likely not remember a single thing from this city, and that in return neither would Willow. If it was a comfort of her to be remembered and remember... Then who was she to deny her that privilege? Sighing, she gave a smirk, nodding to her.

“Of course. How could I ever forget the amount of fires you caused within our home?”

[betterscience]

"End of the line, O'Deorain. Looks like we're finally gonna get back to the important things, huh?" Her heart is heavier than she'll admit.

She’s silent for a moment, taking in the other’s words and letting them mull around in her brain. It’s true---they would be going back to their world and going back to all that hard work they had to do. They were leaving behind the lives they lived here and everything that led up to now. She wasn’t one to be sentimental, she had left behind so much many, many times before, but this time it wasn’t guaranteed they’d still remember everything in this city. It might be wiped from their memories upon leaving.

And that, she didn’t know if she wanted to give up.

“You’re right,” she finally stated, words falling out of her mouth heavier than she thought. “Back to the important things, back to Oasis and running the genetics department while helping Talon as they need. But I wouldn’t say everything here isn’t important. What was done here isn’t a waste of time.”

Moving towards the other, she stared down at her, before aimlessly taking the other’s hair between her fingers. Playing with it for a bit, she sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

“But I doubt we’ll remember any of this when we get home, so no matter how important it feels, it will become worthless as soon as it’s gone.”

With that, she leaned down to softly give the other a kiss, before righting herself and turning to move past, making sure to wipe away any tears that may try to force themselves out. There was no need to be sentimental. It was just going to disappear anyway.

[betterscience]

"I have one thing to say..."

"Goodbye you little shits."

[betterscience]

would you like to talk about it?

therapy / talking about trauma / post - trauma starters. 

“Nothing. Just leave me alone to do my work.”

[memestockpile]

therapy / talking about trauma / post - trauma starters. feel free to change things as necessary. 

would you like to talk about it?

please tell me what’s bothering you.

hey, are you okay?

i don’t have to know everything. just what you’re comfortable telling me.

i’m your friend. of course i care.

there’s nothing bad about going to therapy.

would you like to try a different approach?

i – i didn’t know that. i’m sorry.

is this helping?

i’ll try not to ask a lot of questions.

i’m always here if you need me.

shh, it’s alright. shh. 

we’re safe now. you’re safe now.

it was just a nightmare.

sweetheart, you have to tell me these things.

you know i’d never judge you for that, right?

i’m worried about you.

is something going on? 

everything you say will just be between you and me.

what method do you prefer?

do you need help falling asleep?

anything i could do to help?

why are you like this?

i understand. 

sweetie, is there something you aren’t telling me? what’s wrong?

let’s get you cleaned up.

this is good. this is important. 

you’re healing, and healing takes time. 

we can do more tomorrow.

how about you get some sleep, hm?

bedtime.

it’s ok not to be ok.

tomorrow is another day.

hey, hey, hey. look at me, look at me. it’s okay.

breath in for seven seconds, exhale for eleven …

do you need some space?

remember, look for things that you can touch. ground yourself.

[betterscience]

@apersurewhynot

After months in this city, Moira still felt like she had barely grazed the surface of the secrets that this city held. What she’d learned was actually, more like nothing. She had zip, zilch, nada. So that was clearly going to have to change. There was no way she was going to spend more time in this city without learning something inherently useful.

Spotting a woman sitting in the park, she stared at her for a moment before walking over, standing in front of her to make her presence known.

“You look to be rather smart,” she commented, pulling out her notebook.

“Do you know anything interesting about this city?”

[redeemthefallenuniverses-deacti]

Reblog if Tumblr is eating your activity dash notifications more than usual.

[betterscience]

musrattus:

He beams a smile up at her almost immediately, tucking his papers under one arm and sticking his other out for a handshake.

“Call me Joshua. I believe you just applied to work with me over in Sector 3, yes? Sorry I’m kind of intruding, but I figured I’d visit you myself so we can talk business plans in person. Were you busy?”

Not like he cares.

Raising a brow, she stares at the hand before carefully taking it, shaking it once before letting go and crossing her arms over her chest. So this was the person running that business she applied for. She’d taken up the extra lab space, since despite living in a house a lab by itself was still preferred, and didn’t pay much attention to who was actually... running the business. Guess this was it.

“A bit young to be running some underground research facility and organization, aren’t you,” she asked, stepping aside to let him in.

“I’m not busy at all. However if my roommate sets something on fire I’m supposed to go and help her out.”

[coribell]

to steal my friend’s caption: tall woman can’t fit in small box

(hi I have a lot of drawings I started around Retribution that have yet to be finished/posted so Stay Tuned)

[musrattus-archive]

The ride to Kappa doesn’t take too long, thank goodness, but long enough that he can get his papers all in order for his new friend. It’s a little hard to believe someone with that kind of reputation is just living in a regular old house.

“Hellooo~ Is there a Moira here?” he calls out, knocking on the front door.

@betterscience

[betterscience]

Moira was definitely not expecting visitors, especially not since they’d just moved and she had practically zero friends, let alone hadn’t informed those she knew where she was now living. Getting up from the dining table, newspaper still in her hand, she scanned the crossword one last time before looking up to open the door, frowning down at the... boy? Standing in front of her.

“There is. Who would like to know?”

[7maneko]

Name: Moira O'Deorain

Age: 49

Position: Researcher, pretty sure that was Class 3

Why you would be a good fit: Well known for better or worse for my controversial work back home based on the betterment of humanity in the genetic field. I have plenty of experience and knowledge to share and wish to research more on both how this city works and the inhabitants of it.

“Well, you certainly sound dedicated enough. Expect me to come around sometime later, Miss O’Deorain, and we can talk further accommodations. Otherwise, welcome aboard.”

[betterscience]

Second job obtained yeet.

[betterscience]

“Pouring energy drinks into coffee will, most likely, lower your lifespan however: it does wonders to keep one alert and awake for hours on end.”

[betterscience]

torikake:

A struck chord, a shock of lightning through the sky. It brights light to the sky and Hanzo is momentarily blinded before the city is gone.

The sickness roils in his stomach, angry with Moira and the wild vacillation of the dream. She regards this place with familiarity and Hanzo scoffs. Surely, this was no place Hanzo had ever been before. Someplace similar perhaps. Soft lilac edges at his periphery, but his attention is caught.

“What’ve you done to yourself?”

His voice feels unreal, like it doesn’t come from his mouth. He snaps his jaw shut, something akin to disgust coursing through him. An affliction, something pressing into him before elsewhere. Feelings and words not of his own volition. A hand finds his chest and he presses against his sternum, feeling a seizing grasp there.

“If we are going through one another’s memories, then you need to calm down.” Spoken from a hypocrite. As if panic were not settling into his skull.

This setting was oppressive. Despite wide, open pastures, the sky was like a ceiling, the grass catching at his feet. Now metal.

“What have you done, Moira?”

Moira’s attention is drawn to her arm as she examines it, trying to keep herself turned from what might be behind her. Fingers carefully ran across the pulsing surface, the aching becoming more intense with the touch and causing her to clench her jaw. Moving her hand away to touch her face, she felt the significant lack of wrinkles as well, hand bumping the glasses adorned on her face. Right. She hadn’t fixed that entirely yet either.

Her thoughts were pushed out as soon as she heard the other speak, the words ringing through her ears as her eyes widened. Tears were forming involuntarily, face contorting in anger.

Swiveling around to look at him, she swore that Hanzo had been replaced with her father for a split second, the ghost of her mother standing behind him.

“What have I done!?” she shrieked back at him, eyes a piercing glare at him. “I have done my work. This is what I have spent years working on and working towards!”

The words spit out of her mouth were the same as they had been years ago, the same fight that tore them apart. Her blood was boiling, and the next words the other spoke about staying calm weren’t exactly helping. A little hypocritical as well, given that she was damn sure he wasn’t calm in any regard from both his words and what they’d flung themselves out of.

“Don’t you bloody tell me to calm down,” she hissed, finger raising to point at him. “If ‘staying calm’ were to keep us from moving from shit place to shittier place we would have never left your own subconscious.”

“I don’t fucking know how to get out of this but calming down isn’t the fucking way.”