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It’s a Secret to Everyone: an Angel Hare Theory

As of writing this, with three seasons of Angel Hare out and released, it feels like there are few loose ends or mysteries to resolve. We now have met all three angels from the tapestry, understand the mechanics of angels inhabiting art a bit more, Camael gestured towards what happened with Wreath of Life, and even though we don’t know the exact details, we all have a decent idea of what happened to Jonah’s father.

But there’s one question that keeps nagging at me. One that I barely see anyone else asking, but I feel will be important as we approach Season Four, and may even give us a bit more insight as to whatever deal was struck between the angels and Wreath of Life.

As I said, all of us know the general details of Jonah’s Father and his disappearance.

But do the rest of the angels know?

Gabby as the Outlier

Before diving deeper into my evidence for this, I feel the need to justify why I’m suspicious in the first place. There are, what I feel to be, several hints across the show that Angel Gabby is the odd one out among the rest of the angels. This is not implying that she is a demon, or possessed by a demon, or evil, or anything of the sort. Just that the way she interacts with humans, at minimum with Jonah, is different from the other angels. These are less direct evidence and more vibes-based, what I feel the show is hinting towards.

Let’s start with a classic: The Angel Painting.

All three angels in the same pose, paws together in prayer, but Zagzagel and Camael having their eyes closed as Gabby stares right at the viewer. From all the way back in Season One, this piece foreshadowed the other two angels and their appearances, so we know that this has to be important. It’s unknown whether it was Francis or Gabby that made this (or even if it’s canon at all with all the lore episodes), but the fact remains that Gabby was intentionally depicted as being different from the other two.

Teachings vs. Intervention

Camael and Zagzagel have shown their hands for how they interact with kids watching. Turns out, they’re fairly similar to Gabby in terms of the changes they do to their mediums. Zag outright says he prefers to just “tell kids what to do and they can figure it out themselves,” and Camael rewrites their game time after time to provide players with new content and lessons. None of them are beholden to the original script and diverting from it is the norm. Considering who Zag is, it’s likely that Zag did something similar to Gabby’s teaching Jonah how to deconstruct and hide a gun, even.

But for both of their unique approaches to giving lessons and helping kids, for how personalized they can be, Zag and Camael take an advisory role at the end of the day. Show them what to do, help them gain confidence, teach them how to learn boundaries.

Gabby directly asks, “What would you like me to do?” It may have been hidden in the context of that episode’s dilemma of forgiving Francis, but considering the following context of the flood footage and and her somber expression, it’s very likely that this is in reference to whatever happened with Jonah’s father.

“This is what you need to do” vs “What can I do to help you?”

The East Patch Merch Store

Honestly what started this rabbit hole adventure in the first place. The merch store, both on their official site and on Etsy, are filled with a bunch of cute stickers and posters and the like from all the different characters. There are a few more mature pieces here and there, such as Zagzagel’s “Respect and Penitence” shirt, but by all accounts they’re fairly fun and lighthearted, often aligning with the tone of their respective characters and shows.

And then, there’s the “precious defender” shirt.

This is, to put it bluntly, fucking weird right? Everything else in this store is cute and playful and something that a kid could wear/bring with them to school. Every other Gabby merch feels like it could be at home in a christian household. Except this one. There’s nothing of Zag Wylde beating up gangsters, nothing of Hyrax’s characters slaying a beast, even Francis’ various macabre drawings aren’t here. Out of all the merch that exists, the only one that is not suitable for children and shows harm befalling someone else, is Angel Gabby’s.

That is a very intentional choice to make for a merch store of your own series.

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Do Zag and Cammy know?

Now that I’ve justified my suspicion, let’s go over the meat of the issue: Do Camael and Zagzagel know about Gabby’s intervention with Jonah’s father?

We know on some level that the three angels are close, considering the painting we discussed in the earlier section (even if it’s not canon, the fact that they’re drawn together implies a type of closeness compared to other angels). They may have fallen out of touch with one another, but since Zag goes looking for Gabby in Season Two and both are willing to help stage an intervention for Cammy in the game and Cammy never tries to hurt the other two, they care about each other to some extent. Whether they’re family, friends or something else entirely, that fact doesn’t change.

But even if you invite a friend to your home that doesn’t mean things aren’t swept under the rug.

Camael’s entire situation with Segen is easier to deduce first. Segen, as a result of Gabby’s guidance, was indirectly an accomplice to Jonah’s father’s disappearance. He is the friend that Jonah went to as an alibi, even directly calling back to that incident in his message to Jonah. This doesn’t mean Segen was aware that Jonah/Gabby did the deed, just that Segen is aware he was used to make Jonah look innocent.

Camael, as Segen’s guardian angel, had front row seats to their entire relationship. They hold a clear animosity towards Jonah. They created an in-game version of him from scratch just to give Segen someone to vent his frustrations against, and once out of the game (and also out of “teaching mode”) they disgustingly ask why Segen went to Jonah of all people. It’s very likely that they also had put together Jonah’s using of Segen to get out of trouble. If Segen figured that out, Camael would have known as well, right?

And yet. Even when Camael and Jonah are alone, Camael never calls him out on that fact.

If Camael had even a hint of what happened with Jonah’s father, wouldn’t they reference that in some way in their villain speech? When they call Jonah out on “using” his friends, wouldn’t there be some line about how Jonah used his friends to “get out of trouble?”

We don’t know just how cut off Camael was from the other angels during their time in Hyraax. But going off of their line at the end of Season Three, their retort to Gabby that “everyone was going through hard times as a kid,” Camael was likely aware of the abuse, but not aware of how it was resolved. Even if Gabby had told Camael about what happened and said that they had to keep it a secret from others, I doubt that Camael would have held back at least a jab for that during the one-on-one talk.

Zagzagel, meanwhile, clearly is the closest Gabby. We don’t know what the angels do when their respective pieces of media are turned off, presumably they go back to wherever they came from in Heaven or Backstage or something else. But considering that he went on this rescue mission in the first place, it implies that Gabby kept some sort of contact with Zagzagel off-air, even before Season One. And then when she was fractured across the internet and disappeared, that made him suspicious enough to go looking for her. One could argue that the two were really close, enough to potentially be brother and sister, and that explains his worry.

And yet. Despite having that level of closeness to notice her absence. He doesn’t recognize Jonah.

Zag doesn’t know about the internet or modern broadcasting, all he knows is that someone was streaming Angel Hare again and that was his closest lead. That was his reason for being there. Even under the assumption that Gabby and Zag were close friends/family, Zag isn’t aware of Jonah reconnecting with Gabby. And throughout the rest of the Season, even as he works with Jonah, there’s never a moment where the detective realizes something about Jonah, says “wait, YOU’RE the kid that Gabby was helping all that time ago?” Which means that Gabby never told him about Jonah at all.

There is always the possibility that, after reconnecting, Gabby told Zagzagel about what happened when Jonah had stepped away, something that happened off-camera. Jonah isn’t aware of what happened himself, and Gabby dances around the topic whenever it comes up.

But even if Zag, Cammy, even Francine know now in present day, the fact remains that for a large portion of time, Gabby kept her intervention with Jonah a secret from other heavenly beings.

Let me repeat myself. An angel kept a secret from other deities in Heaven.

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Why keep this a secret?

The natural next step for this hypothetical. Angels, throughout history, are known for acts of divine intervention: They’ve helped guide mortals along the right moral path, they instructed Mary in how to raise baby Jesus, look at literally everything that happened with Noah’s Arc. Heavenly beings directly helping people, and directly harming people, is not a new concept. So why did Gabby feel the need to keep her intervention with Jonah a secret?

Occam’s Razor is the best tool to help us here, I feel: Gabby kept this a secret, because she wasn’t allowed to do it. Why was she not allowed to do it, if she could have done so in the past? Because it’s not allowed anymore.

The world of Angel Hare is near-identical to our own. It has Youtube, it has OBS, the songs that Jonah plays on the jukebox are ones from our reality. In the first episode of Season Three, we can see on the side that there’s Games Done Quick speedruns of Ocarina of Time. So outside of these brushes with the divine/magical we witness, we can assume that anything not on camera is just like the world we know today. And in our world, we don’t see many modern instances of divine intervention.

Times have changed since the days of Adam, Eve, Noah, Issau, Jacob and others. At some point, angels were no longer permitted to directly appear and interact with humans. They’re still permitted to manifest in other ways, as seen with Zagzagel guiding Francine into a secret hiding place in the form of a tapestry (I could get into a whole additional section involving the Frans and whatever the hell they imply under this light, but I’m choosing to ignore it to keep things focused). They can still appear to people, maybe even talk with them, but those instances are less common today.

But Zag’s act of helping Francine still falls under the realm of guidance, not direct intervention, a clue to for the individual to deduce instead of a distraction to lure invaders away. Whatever Gabby did, the fact she kept it a secret means that it wasn’t allowed under whatever rules she had to follow at the time.

Unfortunately with so few clues, we can’t exactly deduce what those rules were. There’s no hidden footage in the series that show off a divine decree from God Himself. Until we get more info from the series itself, we got nothing to theorize. But I have a hunch. A general direction to search in as more pieces of the story are released. And conveniently, it just so happens to align with one of the other lingering mysteries in this series.

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Heaven made a deal with a Capitalist Organization

Yeah so this is another thing that I see very few people talking about AT ALL in this fandom?

We know Wreath broadcasted shows with literal angels in them. At this point I feel it’s safe to say that they are angels and not demons or AI or something else, considering just how ephemeral their entire existence is (existing in airwaves and managing cross between pieces of media entirely, while doing their best to help children. The “Precious Defender” design tee drives that point home further, with an angel slitting the throat of a demonic looking jackalope.

So assuming this isn’t a situation like Poppy’s Playtime, Amanda the Adventurer, Garten of Banban and the countless other evil companies where these are actually lost souls trapped in pieces of media or something else sinister, we still need to address the fact that Angelic beings are working together with a for-profit company.

Wreath of Life’s influence touches every Angel’s media, including Wylde Hare and Hyrax. Both Gabby and Zag discuss performing for their shows to help several kids and having “help on the outside.” With the exception of Hyrax, which Gabby and Zag both note is them wanting to “do things their own way,” it seems every angel was given their own piece of media to reside in, their own home turf to help out children.

Considering that this was undoubtedly a good act and that the Wreath hat description describes the angels as “friends,” I don’t doubt that this was a deal initially done in earnest. But somewhere along the line, the fact became apparent that Wreath was a company, and companies need money. Whatever good common ground there was at the start, greed became the company’s driving force, which lead to their dissolving.

Whether these rules were in place from the start at Wreath or they came into being later under Keith, the fact that angels were working together with these organizations implies Heaven’s willingness to let this happen in the first place. We don’t know what that means, or if the rules that stop-gapped Gabby originated before, during, or after Wreath.

But I can say confidently that these two concepts: Heavenly beings working under capitalism, and Gabby keeping a secret from heavenly beings, are undoubtedly related.

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I have no idea what the future holds for Angel Hare Season Four. With that camera zoom-in stinger at the Season 3 Finale, it feels like some more human elements are going to enter the picture sometime soon. Potentially even poking into Jonah and the Angels’ pasts. If my theory is right, then I’m really excited for the storytelling potential that could come.

Until then, for whenever new media gets released, keep an eye out for any slip that our friends give about the past, what their reactions are to new information or surprise questions.

And maybe, the next time there’s a Lore Q&A in universe, throw a few probing questions Zag and Francine’s way. Remember: A lack of information can be just as telling as an infodump.

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