Superhero Trading Cards because why not? I was tempted to make Gamma Jack a 5'4'' shorty but that kind of contradicts the picture. I'll post another one in a day or two, maybe Apogee next but who knows.
As the title suggests, this is a chapter of Khaos reminding everyone that he is eternal, immortal, time and weapons cannot end his existence, or slow him to the slightest. I think reading Tōzoku to Seishōjo whilst having a history lesson about the fall of the Second Bulgarian Empire (and the entire Balkan peninsula) wasn't a great idea. Still enjoyed it nonetheless. Anyways, you can also read this (the link) before you begin the fiction. (OST: Reptile by Periphery, though I put it for the wild rhythm and chorus, not for a green-skinned creature.)
Additional information is that I began writing this story on November 23, 2021, the same day, when 45 Macedonians died in a bus accident on highway Struma after midnight. The fires and screams of those youthful people will be stuck in the heads of the witnesses. I saw their interviews in the morning. This is the biggest accident in the Balkan region, I have ever heard about. November 24, was a day of mourning. God, let their souls find peace for eternity and beyond.
Dedicated to my lack of motivation to learn the glorious and everlasting Bulgarian history. But more importantly, the teacher, who passionately wants to give us the entirety of it. Even if it has legends and unproven information, she writes it all to us. Legendary teacher. Just like the two others that inspired me to write more, my English teacher and my Literature teacher. Thank you for being in my life, inspiring me to continue writing. Because training makes us better.
and another a/n from January 29th, I just realised Bayezid I died on my bday so hahaha, cool.
...
y. 1168
It was November, almost the end of that year when Satan's last child was born. They named him Khaos, who had the fate of being apocalypse to the humans. But to do it as soon as humanity becomes sinful, and has no sake of faith anymore. He and Katharsis decided to take their own paths around the human world. Katharsis picked the sickness of Western Europe and Khaos went in the East, befriending the Eastern King, Ivanica. Khaos and the king were always together as if nothing or no one can separate them. Not battle, nor Byzantines, just a king and his advisor. But history never learnt the story of Khaos and how he decided to remain the biggest mystery in Balkan history. Living in the shadows and feeding off whatever he could find.
y. 1207.
Khaos was alone, once again. His head was heavy from the thoughts of what just happened.
Yesterday, his best friend, died and his soul went into another body, in a different country, far, far away. Khaos didn't want to leave Turnovo. He liked the big castle, that he sees every morning when he woke up. Unlike his older brother Katharsis, who remained in Western Europe, to follow the neverending conflicts for land. He sees how people die every day, just like Khaos used to see when his comrade fought off the Byzantine Empire for the old occupied lands. His dream was an empire of Bulgarians and Greeks on the entire peninsula, but in 1207, it all went crashing down.
"Damn it, Ivanica, how could you perish like that, you crazy dog! Not only that you got caught, severely beaten by those Byzantines, hit with a hammer in the head, but came back, leading the nation to glory, to die so miserably? Mortals will pay for it, in Hell. That's where my father controls and punishes the bodies of those with unforgivable sins."
Khaos sighed, looking at his crown. He died just like his brothers, a victim of a masterplan, created by his allies. The devil made sure, they suffer a painful death afterwards. He will not forgive the assassins. Time heals. The memories remain, the pain has its remorse, but doesn't get worse. Khaos had to carry the friendship over the centuries. Breathing in the air, filled with guilt and change. Historians write it all down, but one guy always seems to be missing from the evidence. His existence was a sweet mystery, that Khaos adored. He knew that changing the future can be a terrible mistake. He was also aware that being in history means unwanted mentions of his name as if he is deceased. Even if he had done something, he would have regretted it afterwards, so he decided to hide in the shadows, peaceful and relaxed.
...
y. 1396
Khaos wandered around, without a destination, he wanted to calm himself by walking in a forest. He was extremely relaxed and firmly believed that the pain he had was cured. Now memories don't make him weak. And it's only been 189 years. Khaos knew about the incoming danger of the Ottoman Empire but positively looked ahead, knowing that the Balkans can be united for once. Khaos decided to take part in the conflict in 1389, dressed as a Serbian aristocrat, assassinating the sultan. Then he got his head and looked carefully into his dead face as if it had to tell him something. He wanted to see his last thoughts. When a soul perishes, to find a new body, it remembers the life it had. Like the last dream, before a deep endless slumber. The memories of a person are like a maze, take a lot of time to look through, but before death, it recalls only the greatest moments. Like the birth of a child, the death of a parent or the win of a war. And now, the body was cold, but Khaos saw no great memories, just blood and pain. That's how the 3rd padishah passed away. He left the cold and lifeless head to a guy standing next to him. He didn't even flinch while seeing what he had lived through.
Khaos knew what happens next. He wanted to change it, but he understood the rage of the successive ruler. His name was Bayezid I, the Thunderbolt. More furious than ever, coming for an act of bloody revenge.
He invaded the Balkan nations, and murdered people, leaving their blood everywhere, like a butcher. Khaos hated noise and smell. They made him particularly irritated as if it triggered old memories of his.
"If you ever think, you are a God, go see your father anytime."
"You must be the one who killed him, I am a ruthless animal, but you are so neutral, do you even feel what you had done to me? You had a father too, right?", said the sultan.
"Yes, I still have, and your father met mine...in Hell."
"Son of a bitch!", Thunderbolt said with furrowed eyebrows and attacked Khaos with a knife. The devil started bleeding, but stayed still and didn't cry from the pain he received in his stomach area. Bayezid got the knife deeper into him, but the man stood tall like a pine. All of a sudden, he started laughing, reminding him that he is the immortal one. He saw the wrath in the eyes of the new leader, furiously invading in the name of God. They call it the holy war, to bring the true religion to Europe. Katharsis never faced them so close, but Khaos had the difficult task to watch a massacre. That is how an entire peninsula, with a large portion of different nations, was invaded. Their languages and culture were burning in the fires of the Ottoman Empire's glory. Screams for help, that are never heard. Children were being taught the wrongest things and suffocated by laws. Thankfully, some books were kept safe in monasteries and in Rome. Humans do mistakes, and mistakes make disasters. Disasters can lead to even worse consequences, the mortal, cannot think of yet. The devils had an unwritten law within the realms, if a creature, is under 333 years old, they cannot change the history in any way possible. When they become that age, the True Form appears. Usually, the eldest children, receiving this form become lords of the Underworld, just like Khaos's eldest brother, Kathastrophe, who was 335 years old. But still learns how to use the new powers. It can take even 1000 years to learn the full potential of such an ability.
Satan wanted his sons to learn different things but also to be ready for ruling.
But Khaos just witnessed the troubled souls of people that believed and silently helped. No traces left.
...
Personal Diary:
Rituals of life and death. Dying is necessary for human survival. Extinction is essential for the purpose of life. Fury can be both a sin and a blessing in disguise. It fogs the clear eyesight of peace and harmony. You can rule an entire peninsula, and make an empire, but still, it will fall like a tall tree with shallow roots. The souls of the dead always gaze upon their homes, before belonging to another mortal, dying human.
So, if they steal for the sake of survival, it's not a sin. If they kill for the sake of survival, it's not a sin. If they defend their children, it's not a sin.
But raping women, for the sake of making a new nation, with the blood of rage, will. never. be. forgiven. I will shed the violence, the massacre to all those unclean souls. Reaping the last gasps out of their meaningless lives. We, demons see everything, that a human feels and thinks about. I will save your soul Kaloyan. I will find you.
Khaos was on his way to the near graveyard. The devil was hungry for new stories that can motivate him to write something for that teacher. His character might be the same as Ivanitsa but needed a way to prove it. Then he entered the lonely and quiet place, overfilled with inspiration, but smelled like winter in the air. He walked around for some time that felt like minutes but was like two hours.
That's when he heard a priest nearby, it was a funeral.
'Orthodox funerals haven't changed, still church songs and crying people, it looks so heavy for them. I shouldn't bother- huh! I know her! Irina...this girl...WHY IS SHE EVERYWHERE I GO!?'
Irina didn't cry, but her soul was red.
Wrath.
Hatred.
Disappointment.
Khaos turned invisible and looked deep into Irina's face. Her eyes were closing too much, she tried not to cry like that. Her gaze was at her mother who cried uncontrollably at the image of the dead one.
'God, dad, whoever took her...keep her safe. Irina desires that. Mortals believe tears wash the road's gifts...how peculiar. Is that why you don't cry?'
Khaos saw through her, she had an inner child in her, that cried loudly, but on the outside, it was just dark red, like blood, hatred.
The thing was over and Khaos wanted to talk to Irina. He felt weak even when considering it as soon as he saw her. But now was his chance.
— Hey there, weren't you from my class?
— Yeah, I am...hello Angel, what brings you to this miserable place.
— Uhhh, well...there's one saying, that when a person feels too proud of themselves, they need to visit a graveyard, to see how life is short and people die...you know...
— Dad told me the same once! — said Irina rather cheerfully. 'How did her mood change so fast?'
— An-and you Irina, why are you here?
— It's odd why aren't you at school, it's a Monday you know. I was at a funeral that ended just a few minutes ago.
— My condolences, must be tough for you. I am not at school today because of the Chemistry exam, I don't feel willing to do it or be ready with the knowledge for it.
— Angel, we aren't close, but promise me something. Don't tell anyone in the class about this. NOTHING HAPPENED. WE WEREN'T TOGETHER, understood?
— I promise you. You know, I swear to Satan- TO GOD! TO GOD!
'He is satanic? Maybe it was a weird joke. What drugs are you on, cutie...hahah...ugh Irina stop this! He'll never love you, this was just random chitchat...ignore it, idiot!', Khaos read her mind and smiled.
— I feel like leaving you now, I assume you are here with your family anyways. My cute face is out of here.
'He what? Read my mind?'
— Go back to school, bad boy!
— Bad boy? Me? Thank you, bad girl.
— What the...
Khaos ran before she could finish it. Her heart pounded super fast at his words. 'Bad girl', was she a bad girl?
— It's all my fault...I killed you.
...
16th November '21
— Angel, come outside, please.
— A'right, coming ma'am.
He stood against the walls in the corridors when she whispered to him something. She thanked Angel for not telling anyone what happened at the graveyard.
— You are welcome, bad girl. I have never had the intention of spilling tea or gossiping around. It's dirty, ugly and useless. It's like letting all the boys bang you and then talking to the girls about it, they envy you and then they come at you with forks and knives.
— T-th-that was oddly specific, Angel!
— But it made you laugh, didn't it?
— Yeah, I chuckled a bit.
Khaos smiled right after. Irina hugged him. Then the literature teacher came. They were still in the corridor, the guy saw them.
— Love birds, time to enter the room, shall you?
— Yes sir! — said Irina like a soldier pulling Angel with her to the room, opening the door for the teacher.
The man sincerely smiled which Khaos saw, but Irina didn't.
Two people’s souls,
always connected
then harshly separated.
.
December of trembling,
and February of hoping,
then comes April,
.
when the smiling spring,
like a curious child,
clears the sky.
.
Feb 2, 2022
kinda inspired by the monsta x song with the same name
[not your typical love story lol...it's just a lost friendship]
[it's a plot hole why snowboarders are hated]
....
The Coldest Firecracker.
....
In September, the school year began for Angel, a mysterious new student. The room was occupied by 26 different bodies, with souls muttering different songs. He was in the back row, staring at his drawing. It was a huge tree, with ropes around it. Skulls on the ropes, fire around the tree. Even if he took a name that in the native language of this country meant 'angel', he truly was the opposite. He drew those beings hanging on trees, like the sinners some are. He had seen so many around his father, Satan. Fallen angels with no wings, only blackened hearts. They have no souls but claim to protect the mortals with an immortal soul. He had another name in Hell, his beautiful mouthful of a name, with such destiny, that Satan was afraid of letting him go. That was Khaos.
The devil wasn’t young or naïve, but he didn’t know that souls also die. It takes only 30 lives. Then a man entered the room, he was in his 50s, with grey hair, a tall and thin frame, small bag on his broad shoulders. Khaos felt strong feelings in his soul. He assumed it was because of the age, but this was something different, something fierce and unpredictable. The teacher looked much older than he was, maybe from the life he lived or someone he lost. Khaos had his own mission. He was here to find the soul of his long lost friend.
‘That's him, that's my Ivanitsa. But I have to stay neutral for now…’
Khaos didn’t react to his introduction, he continued scribbling his thoughts into the drawing. Such a pretty tree, but such a bad idea to burn it down and on it all these skulls. Now he began writing about the tree in this little notebook he uses for drawing. That’s how he becomes like the humans, he feels and writes about it. He always does it around others to numb the need to read their souls. Since Khaos loves seeing others’ emotions, he began feeling them too, which made him weak.
But Satan always loved his runt…
The day was Thursday and the class had two hours of Bulgarian.
“The second lesson will be outside, alright?”, said the teacher. Everyone went outside and sat on the wooden benches in the yard. It was a time for a grammatical test. Irina was next to Khaos and even asked him something. She just didn’t want to talk to her friends, but to this mysterious guy. He read what she thought about, it was uneasiness. She was ashamed to speak to the devil. He could do only one thing - begin talking first, until...
“Do we write now or wait for a bit?”
“Wait for Ivan- for the teacher to finish…”
“Ivan? Wasn’t his name Plamen-”
“Yeah, my mistake…happens often…”
Khaos was quicker than everyone with the test. The entire class looked at him in dismay.
“You are the clever one aren’t you…or maybe a very competitive guy with a lot of mistakes, kid!”
‘I am not a kid, but okay Ivanitsa…’, thought Khaos.
“He has no mistakes!”, the teacher exclaimed in happiness.
Little did he know, that was just the beginning. After the lesson, Khaos thought so hard, to remember something that happened last year. "The young boy" recalled seeing the teacher last year when the devil was asking for ski equipment. That’s when he saw him and decided on changing his look a bit. Khaos recognised him now…
...
“Good afternoon!”, said Khaos in a rather cheerful tone, because of the white snow outside.
“Greetings, what’s it for you, a youngster of these sacred lands!”
“Where to ski…hahaha- I am kinda here for the first time…in so many years...”
“I don't know how did you get here, but this is a mountain rescuing centre...", followed by an awkward silence. Khaos felt like a fool. "...But, don't be sad, so, you see that hill over there. It’s my favourite to be skiing on. And I hate snowboarders, so I am glad you chose to ski, son!”
“Ever since I was a child, I loved skiing!”
When the man embraced him to show him the hill, Khaos couldn’t hold himself but peek at his past a little bit. He saw the despair that no one could explain. Khaos’s face changed resembling the guy next to him’s features. But he was hiding them from the start with a scarf and a hat. He really needed a new face after the things he did in the city. Sometimes, killing stands to defend the vulnerable. Yet, it's against the law.
Khaos wanted to cry right now. Not because of his deeds, but because of the tall man standing next to him. 'Son.', the devil hadn't heard that word in nearly a millennium. 'I wonder what are you doing, my dearest father.'
"And over there are those snowboarders...maniacs that go against the natural flow, to seek adrenaline, like surfers! I have this one story why are snowboarders so bad in my opinion. Wanna hear it, son?"
"Yes, sir. I'd love to."
Khaos smiled whilst pulling the scarf off his face. The man also smiled, petting his dog. He began talking about how lovely life is.
...
That’s how Khaos and the teacher met.
And that's how the lesson ended.
"Teacher, have you ever been abroad?"
"Yeah, 1986...I was in Hungary for an F1 competition, the top 3 were..."
Khaos didn't bother waiting for Irina and left. She looked at him confused, thinking that he could've been interested like her. But he wasn't, he knew too much to even bother wanting to know more.
The devil knew one thing, he will realise who Khaos is. But for now, the 16-year-old Angel D. will not talk. It was pretty ironic for him to stay in the back and scribble around just like one other person did in the 70s.
And that person had become Irina's motivation to keep writing. Khaos will not stop reading her mind for her brilliant ideas, which make him overthink how distant humans were from him.
'Irina huh, why are you so special?'
The young devil didn't need friends in this new class, he tried to feel accustomed even now. But everyone's thoughts made him disgusted. Except for those of one girl in the front row. The rest of the class thought about foolish things, but she was doing a very deep investigation. Despite this, Irina wasn't what he was looking for originally.
.
April
Spring, Spring, Spring...with girlish lips, with boyish hands.
- Music class, many years ago
I never bothered learning more of this song, because I never understood the pain behind it. The system isn't what kills, it's the people's manners. Even if you consider everything a secret hidden in the summer of '78, I will not stop being inspired by it.
As a fellow almost 17-year old. Just a month more of being sweet and sixteen.
But I beg you, God, punish me for writing about this.
『✃』
her life was so peaceful,
like a garden filled with lamb,
all heavenly like the pull to him,
there's nothing so dumb,
like hoping for a change.
the weather differs,
the sea trembles,
the trees walk in fear,
but we all have our demons,
they haunt us in the darkest hours,
when the worst happens -
the stride of a horse,
the silence of the regime,
the noises of chaos,
the shouts are mute,
the help is never there for you.
the lies become true.
the Balkans call this epos~
like in his fiction,
where every word is friction.
the walls keep me awoken,
so tight, so right,
alone and forgotten,
it chokes me, like a rope.
fame never makes you happy,
only unhurried to your demise,
is this the eternal image
of affection and c a r e?
...
[NAME REDACTED] was found dead in her house this morning. The police have clarified that it was a suicide.
But her soul never died. It reincarnated...for the 31st time...
February -
Someone brought me a letter,
all heavy from the snow...-
- P.K, dec 4th 2021. (it's actually a sad cause)
『✃』
When you feel like life is lucky, but you are angry for seeing your identity changed, you meet the popular one and then your life is always around her. Around the art of rhyming in tone with the cruel times of communism. Even if modernity considers you both boomers, the youth is inspired by you and her. You found her soul.
She dies, but you live, my child. And she will be always around you, in other life. She will smile, she will sing and will be the same great person like you.
I had this idea for a story back in October 2020, I remember telling my classmate Lidka about it. She said that would be awesome
I totally forgot I had this draft until I played the Imagine Dragons song again yesterday.
Since I am a 10th grader, a lot of things happened to me, I found new friends, I lost someone so dear to me and then I got inspired to write again, thank you for everything Ju.K and P.K, I feel so a l i v e.
— duxkin, feb 3rd '22
『✃』
this is just part 1, I will write two more for the two souls...
him and her.
it won't be lengthy. count on that, I'm too tired but also inspired!
...
if someone from my class reads this:
hey what's up guys? how's school?
Rebirth exists.
I exist.
I am a 45000-year-old soul.
Souls, like me, choose when to be reborn and in what. We all can pick also where to be born. Well, I was testing it all till the end. I was always spinning the wheel on a random place to be born.
The choice was getting different with the eras, said my older friends who sadly, don't exist anymore. The reason is that we get to 30 lives. No more or less. 30 seems like a big number but the life I will be choosing now is my 30th. When it's over, I will disappear. This is the last chance to live, breathe and love. Till the end. I don't know what will happen next. But why would we jump so far? There is no future without a past, they say. So, shall we begin?
I still remember back in that time when I was a wild animal before the ice age, it was a wonderful time to be alive. Especially as the predator, I lived to be. Maybe my friend was my beloved, my child or even prey in those unknown and long forgotten lives.
We will never know.
Then my second life was the prey and I was killed by a human this time. Ugh, that death really hurt me back then. I perished in front of my parents. My huge body fell on the ground like a huge timber. I was something resembling the elephants today, a mammoth was it?
Then I wished to be a human but the wheel had to decide where I'd live. I never picked a place for once in these 30 lives, I was just summoned in Europe and Asia mostly.
Next — I was a Roman soldier's wife, then — a Greek girl killed by an earthquake — a pigeon that lived long and safe in the lands of Bulgaria's First Kingdom.
So, it turned out my best friend, who is also a soul was always with me anywhere, in every life. How cute. I learnt it at the end of his road. That he chased me. For instance, such things happened 8 times, in my 5th, 11th, 12th, 23rd, 24th 26th, 27th and 29th lives. He felt like he would fail to preserve me. But he was always near me like something attracted him. I loved his confessions when I could be close to him, I felt the same feelings. Even we sense what others see in us. This is what it takes to feel...some more, some none, but we have always felt this affection. Life pulled us together like a magnet, which our friends said was unique. No one of them found a love for eternity. That was too heartbreaking for me than I supposed. Even now I tear up when talking about this.
In some of the others, he was my friend, dog, parent. But still with me. I was so glad. Some of my lives were absolutely boring, especially when I was a Spanish princess in the XVII century. He couldn't talk with me between the worlds sadly. This is why he chased me. Adorable, isn't it?
Our 29th life was the worst...he was an animal runt. More specifically, Ciconia, a white stork. I'd been his mother, who killed him ruthlessly, without feeling grieved even for once. But sorry never made it feel alright. It is nature, you can't change it.
Now he and I will decide on living together as human beings in an alternative future. Lives were going faster and faster, until my friend and I decided to stop wasting our thirty lives so early before seeing a really distant future. Then he started speaking about his experiences.
— Man, never had luck. I was prey, then predator killed from the humans, then a Roman soldier, who died in a war, a father of a girl that died in an earthquake, and I was a king or a tsar...Boris the First?
— He is a Kniaz. I read some book about it in my previous life...
— Oh, I see. Sounds prestigious. Alright and then I was a British hero, grandson of a crusader, a brave general. I died in the 100-year war trying to get home to my Edward. Damn it, how did I get shot with a poisonous arrow then. My wife, my child, I wish to see them someday, I can't let anything happen to them...and then I was brave, but a crazy king. I was hit with a hammer in my head and survived that!
— Hey, it's too late now. We can choose our future but never change our past. After all, without the past, there isn't a present, so there is no future either.
— You are right and be sure. I will always chase after you, in every timeline, in every memory and in every life. It's always nice to talk to you. I feel you so close...But I have a question...
— What is it?
— You've never been a man, why so?
— I just feel like being a girl has always been better, they are stronger mentally and live longer... — he smirked because he's always been a guy. — ...and what is your argument about never being a woman?
— That's very tricky, especially in these Medieval times, most women have no rights! And men are physically stronger, wars kill us. I suggest that we better live our 30th life in a time where healthcare is free, just like education and there's more equality for us. Particularly in a good country, economically well and to embrace society on a very great level. Also, a plague comes soon. I heard from someone.
And that's what we both did. The time flew quicker than we both believed it will be. He showed me so much wisdom, I was always thankful for that...
But I am afraid that our life begins now. And the wheel was spinning gracefully again, with no rust or dirt on it. What magic!
— Damn it, it's a communist country!
— The wheel said so, don't dare disagree with it. Our last life will be long and beautiful!
— Good luck, beloved.
I nodded and we both jumped in the portal that the wheel made. I will always miss this beautiful, loud and loathsome looking wheel of fortune. He grinned like a child and bid his farewell.
— Lay me down...again my friend...we will meet...soon.
rhyming in symbolism
causes the inner anarchism,
that shoots and misses the target.
is this what deepens the meaning?
and then you look at it:
the own creation
holds that emotion,
in a little smile,
carries a spirit,
and energy to fight.
simple it sounds,
but thy symbolism still made me an anarchist.
thy explanations of timeless explorations,
on the land of history and sacrifice.
where the poets die,
and the mafia lives.
and we will all turn into dust and ashes,
being so low, needn't breath, feel and see,
thy speech is incomprehensible
thy loss cannot be sufficed, P.K.
Edward's mother is one of the most interesting women, that Katharsis had to look into. A lady ahead of her time, with abilities beyond the ones a royal would expect. She was an immortal creature, hiding in a human body. She traverses the realms in the shadows.
As Katharsis looked into the mind of Edward, he got an image of what she looked like, a tall woman with dark hair and eyes like onyx. But the boy seemed to have forgotten the colour of her eyes. Katharsis found that they changed their colour when magic was in action. Similarly to a demon, changing their eyes when they literally scan people.
He silently muttered “witch” and proceeded to test Edward’s abilities. Not only that he was taller than a usual person, but he also had super strength.
‘He must have inherited something at least from her magic. He can’t just be practically useless and powerless!”
...
Initially, the story is that Castellio's mother left him to another woman when Edward was 13. That woman was her best kin. Meredith had no other choice, as she received an offer to become an advisor for the king of a non-existent country nowadays. It meant full-time responsibility.
It is still unknown how Don Castellio speaks old English and not Spanish. That indicates his parents were British and not from any other country. According to a chronology from that era, a woman named Meredith got burnt like a witch. She was an advisor for the king.
Long story short, after Meredith realized her kid loves the other one, she froze him in a cave in Castilia, really far from home. The stepmother and the king rode horses to reach her that she could do many things with the child. The king knew that she can use forbidden methods but didn't want to kill her at first. Intelligence, to such extent as hers, was a rare treat. Both the stepmother and the king understood what Meredith wanted to do. After doing, what Katharsis can call a sin, she was kicked out of the kingdom and later burnt like the witch she was, publically, in front of every citizen.
The confusion surrounding it is how she was seen in the 17th century and 19th century again. Katharsis concluded that the person that was killed was her copy, the original one is a demon that doesn't die easily and hides in the shadows to escape. It's the art of shape-shifting, the ones that can see it, know how beautiful it is. She must be a demon with different name, unknown to mankind.
Moving on to his father, he is a general, the leader of the army. He died in a cruel battle of the 100-year war. He was even taller than his son, standing at 6'8. Which is very interesting.
Moreover, Edward mentions a woman named Eleanor. That was the name of one he loves sincerely. She was the daughter of the king. Edward probably knew he had no chances with her but was still trying his best.
quick story: began writing a poem for Lancelot on the 25th of november, but without knowing how and why, 1 day before, "the knight with the bag" had passed away. this probably was the greatest man, that I've ever talked to as a kid with adhd, that was going to the place he created, for the unwished children, different from the rest.
autism, dawn syndrome, adhd, add, ocd, cerebral paralysis, etc.
such place did not exist in my country before 1995.
more about it, here: https://karindom.org/en/
(there were also mentally stable people with difficulties walking, such good company to talk to as well. so the coincidence was that they call the man knight and i write about the knights of the celtic and english myths.)
the moment of truth and the moment to lie,
the moment to live and the moment to die.
...
v century, somewhere in england.
revenge, this is all sir Lancelot wanted right now. even if he had been raised by the lady of the lake, he understood the tragic fate of his parents. as soon as he grew up, inheriting the kingdom from the brave and strong king Ban of Benwick. the queen, Elaine led the country to treaties and peace, but being a regent was never so easy for her either. the day came, Lancelot was 16. rebels were surrounding the tall walls, defending the kingdom, they wanted to attack. fire surrounded some of the woods nearby and Elaine wanted to take care of this herself. she fainted, shot by a poisonous arrow. Vivian felt how her body fell near the lake, and immediately told Lancelot about it.
the need for a man in control had the entire nation filled with anticipation for the new king. though Lancelot didn't want to be a ruler, he wanted blood. his father wasn't a person close to him as a kid, neither did his mother, but seeing her on a death bed, with a toxin, going into her veins, and his father long dead, was the last straw.
Vivian told Lancelot not to go, declaring war on a stronger country is as risky as jumping from a cliff. the young lad's aura, red with rage, black with the need of death, cannot be cured. even if the lady of the lake tried caressing him, he did not flinch. He just put on his armour and rode his horse towards the sunset. he knew who was the man behind his death and the rebels pushing right now. the wall had a limit, the people's strength too.
Elaine prayed for her son, she did not have anything else to do right now. she really worried about him going against them in the night, alone, with a fire in his eyes and heart. Lancelot had no intention of looking back to his kingdom. she wanted to see him again, she wanted to hug her son, her little boy.
Lancelot was alone until two silhouettes joined him on both sides. two men in armour, riding horses. the princes Percival and Tristan came to him. all three had been battling the same fight. the southern rebels were everywhere around the lands. Lancelot was a little relieved to see that he isn't completely alone today.
the moon was red, something that all three found weird, but also a good sign.
- there will be blood - said Tristan. Percival murmured a positive answer in reply, still staring at the miracle in the sky.
- blood will not satisfy my revenge!
- Lancelot...
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH, THE MOMENT OF LIE
THE MOMENT TO LIVE, THE MOMENT TO DIE
until anyone could reply anything, Lancelot galloped ahead, seeing a camp of a small group of rebels. he quietly got off the animal and took one by surprise in a bush. Tristan did the same. both killed them noiselessly and then came silence. the two others who questioned this were ready to shoot.
'they weren't so clever,' Percival thought and directly attacked both, beheading them. Lancelot and Tristan came out of the bushes and all rode even further, to the south again, seeing more rebels.
an entire group of men waited for their arrival. this did not stop any of the three heroes from immediately attacking them with their 'iron breasts', as Ivan Vazov would say.
THE MOMENT TO FIGHT
THE MOMENT TO FIGHT
TO FIGHT X3
Percival was piercingly accurate with his sword, Lancelot and Tristan keeping his back safe with the same energy from before. this was trust, this was war and they were toys that the spirits were moving on the field. like chess pieces. time passed on, and suddenly the rebels felt as if they were getting tired, the three knights felt it as well. many of the rebels fell dead, with blood around them. Tristan thought how stupid these troops are to die so easily. the blood spilled on Lancelot's chest plate. he looked at it with negligence. one historian wrote that their eyes were red and their faces full of anger. this wasn't enough, the three knights wanted more. the greed fogged Lancelot's thoughts. it hid his eyes behind a big blinder, just like his dead father. Tristan's wrath made him run in attack, not defending anyone. Percival felt real guilt right now. the best swordsman wanted to be home now. he felt how sinful killing innocent people is.
- but these rebels weren't innocent. - Lancelot said. he was in his thoughts when the rebels began running away. noises were coming from the north, it was King Arthur behind a large group of people, his army. they all followed the running rebels and killed them, the princes followed Arthur to fight alongside him. the night wasn't young already, but no one felt exhausted. emotions are fuel to fight and not die unheroically. no escape from this, the only way for it to be over is to slay everyone, who has the strength to resist.
a few villages got burned by the rebels before Arthur came and they couldn't help the dying villagers in the fire. Tristan got really mad and shouted so loud that the birds flew scared.
now, the rebels' capital was the place that remained.
both sides pushed for the last attacks of their lives, as God stared at them carefully. he wrote it all in a book, the candles around him burning till the end. the moment to die was now.
and everyone wished for their sweet death.
'don't die just like your father, Lancelot. remember the people here.'
Lancelot suddenly stopped and ran to the forest. he was afraid for the first time in his life. his hands were trembling and his breathing was heavy. Something was in front of him. he looked closely, it was a white bear.
- am i dreaming? why are you here, animal, don't attack me! - he was ready to defend himself, but the bear just shined bright and sent him back to Benwick.
Elaine was there, breathing was more difficult for her than before. she couldn't move her right hand and open her right eye. part of her was purple and she was crying.
- mother!
- Lancelot, you are back! i am sorry for never being your mother correctly, time is a thing i wish i can go back to, but sadly it's impossible. your father, Ban was so proud of you, he was going to the lake often, to get inspired by it. i did go to it sometimes too, but neither of us had the power to talk to Vivian.
- don't apologise, it's not your fault!
the queen smiled slightly before passing away. her hand dropped and Lancelot sobbed next to her.
legend says that his dynasty still lives and his people are always around us, alive or dead, the war is won and the moment is now.
live the life. don't be selfish. the heritage you have is what you need to give to the next generations.
...
xxi century, scotland
an old man stayed on a lonely cliff, awaiting the eternal silence. expecting to see his relatives finally. and the last thing in his hands was this story, of the war, and the truth in the lie. he smiled when reading that Lancelot's purpose in life was to be a helpful man. God sees it all, and takes the souls for a walk, on the big bridge to heaven, he has no scythe, just a white frame on a lonely wall. the sounds of the vast sea, filled with dangers could be heard. songs of a long lost childhood surrounded the scene, then he began growing up, seeing america and europe, climbing mountains, talking to parents of children, helping everyone. then 4 doors came.
- this is heaven.
- am I going there?
- no, you go to the room next door, it's special heaven, for the special people, that did something that most can't do, not just charity or curing animals on the streets and people in need. you won a war of rights and beliefs. you changed society for the better. let the sun sets with the smile of children on you, sir.
the old man smiled, as he thought that this will be true happiness. all pain was gone, now youth is eternal, life is forever. heaven was white, beautiful, waters were flowing everywhere, animals were flying, jumping and running. everyone was happy.
and the old man just sat on his chair again, reading stories to travel into other worlds, like always.
it's a brave new world...
...
sometimes people are born to live long and prove how valuable they can be to society. humanity has gone from inbreeds and wars to peace and suicide. human rights are one of the most important things nowadays, but humans can judge easily by the cover.
욕해도 좋아
실컷 욕 욕 욕해
날 향한 증오가 화 정도가 될 때까지
화가 풀려 다시 돌아갈 수 있다면...
this song reminds me of 2 things:
- lonely night filled with anxiety
- pain of the war and the women who lost their men
so in 2 parts i will write my thoughts here
from november 28th 2020, posted on november 28th 2021. a year of change.
...
- lonely night filled with anxiety.
1. Nov 28th, 2020
i am all alone. friday, noon. school is soon going to be over, so i texted my best friend if we will hang out, but she is sick. ah, i have so many things to tell her. i trust her more than my parents. i was almost alone the whole day after that, one friend from america talked with me for 2 or 3 hours. some hours later we talked again but he fell asleep in the call. poor him, stayed 36hrs awake.
so now it’s 3am, cold, quiet, the only noise to be heard is the music in my headphones. my parents are asleep, same for my friends. well, not all of them. those ones in america may still be there. so i texted the first online person i saw, my friend from texas, really clingy and annoying guy, but nice and i can’t let go of people as well as i thought i would.
hey man
it's 3am
haha
and my anxiety hit me again
i waited for his response 20 minutes, he was online, i knew he could see me.
...i got a panic attack - i said at 3:48am...i kind of exaggerated, but my anxiety got me for real. i hadn’t had panic attacks since august. now it’s november.
he didn’t reply to that either. i felt pathetic, weak as hell. then i remembered this song and played it on youtube. i played it like 5 times till it was already 3:54am. then i decided to text him a bit more. then i saw he replied, but with a screenshot from a game, probably showing me a character or skin. i had no idea so i just said yeah nice.
[3:54 AM]
it's almost 4am here
i overcome such stress
but no one can help me
wanna send you the song i listen constantly feeling useless?
[4:00 AM]
ah
you probably don't want it
it's too sad anyways
4am, nice time to stay awake
good night
[4:01 AM]
i will catch some sleep
he replied with the simple
gnight
ah, this moment reminded me of my mother, she never listens to me. that woman should behave better with me. this reminded me of how alone i am.
7.7 billion people and i am here too. but i am not hot, talented, i can’t dance, sing or perform around many people. but i can write. probably no one will read this whole thing.
whenever i listen to the song i shed a tear when the last verse begins. the best verse. i love it so much.
then i felt very cold and sleepy, 4:10 am.
thank goodness when i fall asleep my thoughts are mostly about school and not about suicide. i don’t have the strength and wish to do it. and even better. my anxiety gets severe. i wonder if i can spill it in some way. probably i can talk to my best friend but not now, it’s 4am.
2. Nov 28th, 2021
Far from home, far from my friends, I was alone, I was exhausted, but couldn’t fall asleep. The night was dark like my head, filled with memories of you, the person I let go from. I can’t bring you back to me, I can’t apologize and hug you like before, it’s over. I have to get used to it.
Back in the 80s, one Spanish TV drama, had a character who lost her family in a car accident, and she said: Something changes, when a friend is gone.
Friend? Can I call all people in my life my friends? Can I hug everyone? Can I see him again, no I can’t! It’s over, I am late.
You and I will find roads, railways, airways and oceans to cross, so we can be far and meet never again. Disrance builds walls, eyes that can’t see each other, will always be forgotten...
- pain of the war and the women who lost their men
Wreckage from a war, houses destroyed, men killed, women alone, and one prayed dearly to God for hers to come home, against the odds, against the dying hope. Soon, the war will be over, men will be back, and after everything ends, she will go in the crowd, hoping her beloved is there. The same, young and happy man, the same person she fell in love with.
But almost no one came back, only a few generals, some soldiers, and yet no one was hers. He died, his life ended, without saying last goodbye to her, and their 7-year-old child. She muttered something to the little one, “your father won’t ever come back,” and the kid dropped the toy on the ground. They both cried, just like everyone else around them. Asking for an impossible forgiveness...
a/n: originally from Aug 30th 2021, but edited today, Nov 19th 2021, just 11 days after grandma's death. I will put a line to where the August part ends so you can see something ironically coincidental. istg. my intuition never lies. I thought about something like what actually happened with her...but it's all in the past now.
...
Aug '21
...
Katharsis was stuck in another loophole of the original universe he lived in. A place where only he knows how to visit...
He was a civilian, just like every time in there. Kath calls it "Alternativity", coming from Alternative and Gravity since he literally can fly faster here. Maybe because he is somewhat a God? Maybe because his father's presence is missing? He doesn't know either...
...
- Rachel! Wake up, you always fall asleep in my classes! - the English teacher shouted to the sleeping girl - Today the lesson is important, yet you are coming here to nap?
- I am so sorry teacher. I know past perfect tense of the English language is important, I just couldn't sleep well last night...
- Is it because of the full moon?
- No, grandma called me...family problems...
- So, let's begin with the lesson and Rachel, listen, even if you know English well, just revise. Repeating is a mother of knowledge, as my father would've said. Now the first usage is... - the teacher again started talking about the grammar.
Rachel could daydream into her dream world again. She won't stop thinking about her grandma's words.
"Your brother is coming home."
Brother, hm, I wonder what kind of person he is.
3 lessons later, it was time for Rachel to go home and face her older brother.
- Hey sis, I am Jinyoung. Your older brother.
- Hello Jinyoung, I am Rachel. Nice to meet you!
- Same here, my sister.
On the next day, she kept going around with her brother, who now is a student of her school as well. So he became a popular guy because of his charismatic face. He is charming for real.
---
Katharsis: Ah yes, their mother was raped. My mind has the power to see the past vividly. I see his father, but Rachel is confusing me. Wait, Rachel, like Lim, the one around Changnam? No, impossible! She exists in this universe too?!
Katharsis was in dismay by the thing in front of him.
...
Nov '21
...
Jinyoung and Rachel are still on good terms, in all universes they meet, Katharsis has made sure this is happening always.
Katharsis: Their bond is deeper than you think, brother.
Katastrophe: If you say so, my brother.
Kathastrophe is Katharsis and Khaos's oldest brother. He is the most serious one of them all, as the next ruler of the Hellspawns.
Katharsis: We need to finish this, my brother.
Kathastrophe: If you say so, c'est fini!
The two brothers went back to the normal timeline, where Jinyoung still was Rachel's brother, no difference, just a few more people in there. Changnam, Connor, Edward, Kazuya, Jayden, Michael, Gabriel, Jacqueline, Emma and Anne.
Connor: Where were you again?! Something happened with Michael, he and Emma were with their parents again, for some weird experiments. THEN THIS HAPPENED?! HE IS HUMONGOUS.
Katharsis: He looks like a wolverine on a full moon, but around 3m tall and most probably a weapon for murder. Khaos!
Khaos suddenly came in front of everyone, wearing a towel around his waist. The entire room's eyes were on him, the youngest of the sons of Lucius, who was confused.
Khaos: Listen, I was showering when suddenly someone specifically called me. Katharsis, if it's the toilet, I have flushed it, so- and what is this wolf on two legs and tall over 3m doing here?
Katharsis: You are the one into magic tricks, you cure him!
Khaos: Brother, this isn't magic into him, it's science, high amounts of radiation entered his body, mutating his genes with what looks like a wolf. Did he run into Chernobyl or Hiroshima?
Katharsis: The question is can he talk. Michael, please say something, we will try to understand you.
Michael: I feel horrible. Thanks for helping me, but I need food and sleep.
Khaos: Seemed quite okay, though his monstrous accent is even more evident than I thought.
His brother nodded in agreement, going to his room, seeking a cure along with Kazuya, Jayden and Emma. The bright minds were on their best and biggest research. It will take an eternity though.
Khaos: Hmmm, turning people into animals might make their genetic code even stronger, with less lethality in two dominant genes, avoiding this, the army of animalistic humans will prevail. (No, not furries!), let's see.
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
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