Kya Chahiye?! @bhasad - Tumblr Blog

Am I a selkie?

Native to the coasts of the British Isles, the selkie spends most of her life underwater. In her natural form it is impossible to tell her from an ordinary sea lion, but if she so chooses she can remove her seal-skin and walk on land as a human woman. The Selkie must hide her skin carefully while she is out of water, because if any man finds her skin and hides it from her he has power over her, and she cannot return to the sea until she finds it.

There are many Welsh and Irish legends of unhappy Selkies, forced by human men to be their wives. A Selkie will never stop searching for her true skin, no matter how much her husband may try to please her, and should she find it she will flee immediately, even abandoning her children.

The children of Selkies are drawn to the sea; they will never drown, and have a terrible wanderlust. A particularly lucky sailor might be said to have a Selkie mother.

I am sensitive enough to well up on reading “I’ve always felt unclaimed” in a book and feel how true it is about my life too.

Is quietness sad?

I am requiring it less and less to talk about things, after all my life wishing someone would actually listen. What’s there to say? Everything seems to be said already. There are googolplex books, podcasts, songs, vlogs, blogs, essays, papers, now reels and clips and shorts, so many movies, series, documentaries.

I sometimes write poems and thoughts in a journal or here, that feels enough, more than enough for me. My small world, where I keep meeting myself, renewed and mildly more interesting.

#personal #words #thoughts #hunger makes me a modern girl

redlipstickresurrected

Hosio Hirotta aka ニコ (Nico) aka 星をひろった aka Hirotta Hosio (Japanese, based Tama, Tokyo, Japan) - 一日のはじまり (The Start of the Day), 2026, Drawings: Pen + Ink

redlipstickresurrected

Tarka Kings (British, b. 1961, London, England) - By the Lake, 2025, Drawings: Graphite and Color Pencil on Arches Paper

lakevida

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

urgetocreate

Dimitri Cavander (American), Tree in Early Morning, 2007, Oil on canvas

hersadexistence

The Face of Jizo, 父と暮せば, Kazuo Kuroki, 2004

depsidase

ymutate

Hiroo Isono

urgetocreate

Hirō Isono (Japanese 1945-2013), Acrylic on canvas

Another month bites the dust

Sense of smell is so severely strong

That right now, I know what hounds are all about.

I’ve never been able to tell the odour of detergent wafting from the dishwasher.

After having zits visit my face longer than they should

I bought a barrier cream, just because

I’m sick to my stomach, what if I tried something new

Doesn’t mean I don’t get punished.

My reports say I’m healthy,

Such believable liars.

I’d say hormones but who the fuck knows.

I de-synthesise a solid into a carbon based molecule

It’s the thing my body lets in.

It makes my bed feel like a tar-pit

Only for a day, but still.

How do I return from here—

To a life that keeps waiting for me.

bhasad

Wrapping my legs around you

Hormones, pfffffft

Every month I become a sex crazed bitch

Every month, I feel the urge to take a chunk out of

your waist

That small soft part, you don’t notice

Drown in sweet sweet sweat

Hold that schlong

And fuck your brains out.

When it’s over

I want you to leave

I would probably sleep

And if I can’t

I wrap my legs around you once more

-

S

Being practical is not my strong suite, but more often than not I am required to be, by my circumstances and choices.

If it were upto me, I would just spend my time imagining or thinking or dreaming, like after watching “La Chimera” last night, I imagine “despair” to be taught as a subject in schools or “grief” maybe. People die of grief or despair. I read somewhere that grief is love without a lover.

I saw him everywhere in my dreams, he was digging the graves of my secrets. I was uncomfortable, Chimera if anything is an harbinger of chaos.

I’d like to think how much chaos I could handle. Not much by the looks of it, I’ve lived most of my life not in control of things. So when I am on my own, there are bouts of time spent doing nothing, nothing that would bring chaos to my life, if anything I want organisation and order, but my insides twitch at the thought of everything orderly.

I’m a living contradiction.

This last week, I read about two things which are truly chaotic, one is a human made object called double pendulum and other is mythological character Chimera. It is so interesting that in a lifetime you come across exactly what you’re meant to find, which is opposite of chaos.

#chaos #la chimera #chimera #double pendulum #grief #despair #contradiction