“do not enter” is written on the doorway

this is a bad idea

[biasbraindump]

"That's the thing about pain; it demands to be felt" - Augustus Waters, The Fault In Our Stars

hi

this is a vent/vagueposting/brain dump blog for my main @geneticallymodifiedidiot (IF WE'RE FRIENDS THROUGH THAT BLOG AND I ACCIDENTALLY REBLOG SOMETHING ON HERE I AM SO SORRY I PROMISE I DIDN'T MEAN IT)

if you found me, uhhh, sorry

if you have literally any triggers dni im sure ill find a way to do it, but some old hands are self harm, cutting, blood, eating issues, suicide ideation/implication, etc. DEAD DOVE.

also dni if you know me irl. please. please. please. I can’t have anyone see this and then have to look at my face knowing this

[biasbraindump]

im like a social/emotional tumor

[dogpuppy]

[biasbraindump]

duckduckgo why can’t i take compliments

duckduckgo why do i not like compliments

duckduckgo why do i hate myself when i get compliments

duckduckgo why do i feel like i don’t deserve anything in life

duckduckgo imposter syndrome

[biasbraindump]

imposter syndrome!!!!!!! :DDDDD

[biasbraindump]

i need to disappear what has been wrong with me

[biasbraindump]

it’s like my life is constructed around giving me constant reminders that i’m not good enough

[biasbraindump]

one of my least favorite things about late may is the amount of parties

i do not possess self control but i do possess shame

[biasbraindump]

hate everyone and then hate myself for it

[biasbraindump]

i can't keep being this useless to people

carve out my throat so i can't hurt people with words anymore

[biasbraindump]

i want to crush my rib cage

[melancholic-whimsy]

they should invent a suicide that doesnt leave a body

[biasbraindump]

i hate eating around people who aren’t eating

[biasbraindump]

i need to be more palatable

[biasbraindump]

“if you’re struggling you should tell someone!!1!11!”

have you considered no one cares, no one does anything, and all that does is push people away

[geneticallymodifiedidiot]

the discrepancy between my tags on reblogs and my mutuals’ tags on reblogs is kind of wild

im so unbelievably facetious it’s almost comical

[biasbraindump]

there’s no way people aren’t sick of me

[biasbraindump]

how do i disappear so i stop causing pain