it was true that ishigaki was incredibly lonely โ she wasnโt necessarily allowed to have any friends, they would only be put in danger unless they were already tied up in her fatherโs business in one way or another. however, ย it was very rare for any women to be bothered with these things โฆ much less the daughters of men that held no weight in the world. if anything, she was a rarity; a single daughter of a yakuza boss, one who had no other children aside from her. of course, she would be his only daughter for all of time too โ ishigakiโs mother was long out of the picture. she hadnโt been given a detailed explanation on the disappearance of her mother, but she knew that it was best not to ask questions on the matter. she was content with any little knowledge that her father decided to give her. asking for more would have been seen as ungrateful & unfortunately, her father was her biggest ally at the moment. as harsh as he could be, he was ultimately trying to protect her โ he put a house over her head and fed her. what more could a daughter ask of her father? he may not have been the loving father that most children had, but unlike most children she had an entire barrage of her fatherโs men ready to die for her at a momentโs notice. if that wasnโt what love felt like, then she didnโt know any other. these men cared about her fatherโs respect & his daughterโs safety so much that they would be willing to throw their entire life on the line for either one of them. it was more brave than ishigaki would ever be. despite being surrounded by death, the woman was terrified of dying. sheโd never been scared of the monsters under her bed or in her closet, but rather the men out for her blood with a vengeance to pay her father.
she couldnโt help but laugh just a bit at toojiโs comment. he was just joking around with her, but she really did think that her father was everywhere. when you had a parent that controlled an entire sub-section of the country, it was hard to believe that he didnโt have control of every single word uttered in his own house. โaaaa, knock it off.โ ishigaki said, laughing as she spoke. she gave the man a playful shove, though it didnโt move him far โ if at all. when he brought up dropping the honorific on her name, she wanted to warn him about getting in trouble โฆ though, he really did just point out that her dad would not just randomly appear in the kitchen in the first instance. she really didnโt know when to lighten up โ it was somewhat embarrassing. even after his jokes, she still was tense in the shoulders. โi think koutarou-chan is cuter.โ she agreed with the man, wanting to help settle his decision. it wasnโt necessarily about the respect for her, it was more that โchanโ was often an honorific dropped by close friends. thatโs the kind of feeling that she wanted to get from them, that they were close friends.
blinking, ishigaki knew that she shouldnโt have been surprised by the affectionate names that she was called โฆ but each time that tooji used them, she found her heart skipping a beat. โoh โโ of course she had picked up on generally what he was going for, though she thought that it was merely the name of a drink rather than an innuendo. the smaller didnโt want to ask further into it, since she found saying such a lewd word out loud a bit too scandalous for her tastes. if anything, she avoided talking about such instances at all, she was an unwed woman & didnโt want to be caught speaking of such things with a man she wasnโt even promised to.
huffing at the manโs explanation, she scolded. โyou know those are bad for you.โ tapping her foot in place of yelling, she placed a light smack to the otherโs cheek โ certainly not nearly enough to hurt the man, considering that she wasnโt the strongest of them all. โi thought that you were trying to quit.โ despite the fact that she was acting like a mother scolding her child for doing something out of line, she continued to listen to him. ishigaki didnโt know the details โ per usual โ on just what happened to kanzaki, but she could blatantly see that he walked with a limp on the one - side. that damage was easily traced back to something to do with her father, but what exactly it was, she was unaware. โwhy would you say that?โ her big eyes were back to looking him directly in the eye โ instead of looking fearful or anxious, they now looked upset. it hurt her to know that tooji would say such terrible things about himself. โyou know, not everything has to be a fight. there is no reason that injury should mean that you are useless.โ it felt weird to be lecturing him on this when she truly did know nothing about what the other had to do, or the things that he was involved with. โi know that itโs not my place to speak for you โฆ i really donโt know a lot, but youโre still more useful than me. n โ not that itโs hard to be that.โ her brows furrowed in obvious frustration, knowing that there was nothing that she could necessarily say that would hold any weight for tooji. she was like a young child trying to lecture a school teacher on the material.
she figured that the man was trying to buy some time with her by doing card tricks, so she understood the gloomy look that he gave her. but of course, they would be able to see each other other times โฆ though, maybe not in such a private situation as this. they were lucky to have a few moments to talk to each other without anyone else around them to monitor the way that they spoke, searching for a reason to be suspicious of their words. โif you come over sometime โฆ just stop up and visit me, youโll know where i am.โ she would be hidden up in her room like usual. if he snuck off quietly enough, no one would even know that he was upstairs with the girl rather than loitering around the house for a cigarette, doing nothing. it felt risque to ask the man to visit her in her personal bedroom. hopefully, he wouldnโt take the invitation as an innuendo for inappropriate things โ she truly had the most innocent intent in her invitation. โjust please make sure that no one sees you. y โ you know why.โ ishigakiโs face turned slightly red as she explained it to him. tooji was not a man that she necessarily had to tell that to, but โฆ she felt as if sharing it in order to look out for him & for her was best.
the girl could see it in his eyes, the way that he noticed her own fear โ the way that his face faded into disappointment. it was wrong of her to take a joke and not simply just laugh it off โฆ but she couldnโt help but have her mind wander. โsorry.โ she said, assuming that tooji knew just why she was apologizing for.
when the other reached out and touched her cheek, she was taken off guard. his touch was incredibly gentle โ so much so that she could hardly believe that it was the same man sheโd heard was a kidnapper touching her as if she were as fragile as a child. bringing her hand up, she placed it atop of his own, ishigakiโs hand much smaller than the ex-hitman. โyouโre very kind, tooji.โ she said with a wide smile. there wasnโt very many people genuinely cared about her aside from โthe bossโ daughterโ. meanwhile โ the other simply cared about her for her. โi donโt understand, why are you so willing to step in the way of danger for me?โ she wasnโt sure if she was stepping out of line by asking such a question, but he genuinely confused her with his caring nature. after all, sheโd heard of what kind of man he was. why was he worried about her, but he wasnโt worried about the other women that he mercilessly turned over? what did she do to deserve his care that they didnโt? โiโm sorry, youโre right. i should probably get going.โ grabbing her glass, she was ready to run off to her room. suddenly, she felt as if she had ruined the mood.
If only Tooji had known that pure naive innocence that was running through that womanโs head -- the thought that all of these Yakuzas would throw themselves in front of a bus in order to save her life instead. She was wrong. Kanzaki knew that they were always looking out for their own asses -- and to impress the boss. It was not blind love that led the men to bow deeply with respect towards her father and sayย โYES, SIRโ to anything he asked them to do. It was the survival instinct and the urge to climb the ladder up higher and higher. Arakita was one of the favourites -- he could do anything he wanted without the boss questioning it. But, did Yasutomo have the heart of a man who loved Koutarou so much that heโd give his life in order to have hers saved? Never. Tooji wouldnโt be in the position he was in now -- he wouldnโt be disgraced with his awkward limp -- if it was not for the men working underneath Yasutomo. Cowards, all of them. There was only one man who acted out blindly due to love, and that man was Tooji himself. If someone told him that Ishigaki was buried somewhere in the vast desert, heโd ask for a shovel. If someone told them that he could save her life if he drank poison, he would ask for twice the amount to swallow, just to make sure sheโd be alright. If he had any clue that she deemed it faithful love from all of these man to behave in such a devoted manner towards her, his jealous and anger would burn much brighter. But it was not unusual for him to remain unnoticed -- he was not the flashy type to spark attention within seconds, he admired Naruko for that. Of course... he was just one of many to Koutarou, and it broke his heart each and every single time.
That small shove made him snicker right back at her, not really going anywhere, if anything, he moved even closer to the girl while she was being so bashful about his comments.ย โMhm, I agree... Koutarou-chan sounds really good to me, too. It rolls off the tongue so easily... Kou-ta-rou-chan~...โ And despite their playful nature, of course, she would have to smack him for his actions; it didnโt hurt him physically (he was used to much worse, really), but it took him off-guard for a moment.ย โI know, I know... hehe... itโs hard, honey...โ He joked, rubbing his cheek in a manner to cause some pity in her, almost as if he was passively asking for her to kiss it better, but not going as far as to actually ask her. Unlike other men in the Yakuza, he was not forcing people out of their way to do as he pleased.ย โYouโve got quite the hand action there, making me your bitch with one slap, whew...โ Joke aside, he exhaled deeply, tending his head to the side before speaking up.ย โAs much as I use pockys and toothpicks, sometimes I just need something against all the nervousness and the antsy feeling that I canโt sit still. Itโs mostly during these kinds of meetings, really. But sometimes also after a long day in the line of work. If you had your 30th fight that night, your 20th drink to deal with the stupidity of humans, and you donโt know what hurts most, your knuckles from defending yourself or your face from takingย โoneโ for the team, you really need at least one smoke...โ He was not trying to get some pity talk through her ---- Tooji just embraced being honest and open with Koutarou. Well, as honest and open as he could be, really. Sometimes, heโd lie to her face about things he thought of her father -- or things he thought her father thought of her. Whenever sheโd ask if he really cared about her, heโd protect her by sayingย โOf course, he is your father, he will always love youโ... but truth be told, he was not so sure.
A weak smile was planted on his lips upon her heart-felt words; he needed to close his eyes for a moment and take them in properly.ย โYouโd be... one hell of a leader, Koutarou-chan.โ --ย โA better one than your father, grantedโ, but he would not go as far as to mention that to the poor woman.ย โYou always see the best in people, and I donโt ever want you to lose that. I just want you to be more wary of your surroundings. Not all that glimmers is gold... not all the men who talk smoothly to you, are nice at heart. Thatโs mainly why I am useless to them. Ask Arakita-san. He was the first to tell the boss to get rid of me after my injury.โ It was naive of her to think that not everything was about fighting -- it really wasnโt, but for the Yakuza, it was a blood-fest where itโs to eat or to be eaten! But that shouldnโt be any of her concerns.ย โIโm really happy with my position now. It kind of lets you forget about seriousness of adulthood while you can play games... thatโs kind of amazing...โ Though, he was more so talking to himself in a manner to calm himself down; all of the child-like love for games was lost the moment an opponent lost and decked him in the face in a manner to almost break his nose. Even now, fighting was inevitable for Kanzaki.
โOi.โ He interrupted her negative words instantly, smacking her forehead gently, though in a manner as if he meant to wake her up from her state of mind.ย โNo more of that shit. Thereโs a time and a place for everyone in this universe. For Kanzaki Tooji as much as for Ishigaki Koutarou. Sometimes, we donโt see the forst for the trees, and sometimes, we wonโt be confronted with our tasks until later in life. Itโs just how it is. Maybe I am not supposed to be a Yakuza...? Maybe someday Iโll find my actual place and right now it would sound so ridiculous if anyone told meย โKanzaki-san, you are supposed to be this-and-that!โ -- same thing could happen to you, so, just keep an open mind and focus your eyes on the world, donโt forget to listen to your heart, and youโll find your path. Thatโs all it takes.โ
It... almost broke his heart to have and let go of her now ---- going back to that room with these men... it was sickening. Gulping hard, he nodded to her, trying his best to smile at her as if it was no big deal to let her move back to her room. He was selfish, but he really did not want her to get caught and then get yelled at all because he was too clingy to say good-bye.ย โCount on me. Iโll be around, I always will.โ He reassured her then, moving his hand up to salute her in a goody manner, as if a soldier reported to their sergeant.ย
All the questions piled up before him as she finally found the courage to speak her mind, his eyes grew a little bigger, dumbfounded, he was unable to speak at first; though once he realised that she turned to leave, he grabbed her by her wrist tightly enough to keep her in place, but not too tightly to scare her.ย โWait.โ The tall man added, inching closer. As much as this was his perfect chance to confess his love to her, he just couldnโt. Always cussing at Arakita for being a coward, yet here he was, the biggest of them all. Another gulp to get rid of the lump in his throat, he felt hoarse, unable to speak, tears were choking him up, so he decided that this was no way he would confess his undying love to that woman. Instead, he cracked a smirk, holding her hand in his and squeezing it gently.ย
โBecause youโre too much of a fool to look after yourself, thatโs why I will protect you with my life.โย
Grabbing a pen from the little pocket on the front of his suit, he held her palm up to his face and started scribbling onto the skin -- leaving his phone number. Of course, it was risky, but he could always make excuses to her father about how she was endangered by stalkers and he had to make sure that she was fine.ย โJust call your personal bodyguard in dire times, love.โ Pushing the pen back where it came from, he then let go of her hand and waved her off, moving the granola bar he was given into his trousersโ pocket as he headed for the notorious office of her father.