retired cult leader

[|87.........ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ phew, escaped again • 18+ • open to DMs!

[ispyspookymansion]

being a horror fan will have you saying sentences such as “i liked it a lot, super gross and sad”

[nothing-an-iratze-cant-fix]

Also true crime

[ispyspookymansion]

no thats a different and worse thing i am not associated with you

[vulpes-aestatis]

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

[thecactifindahome]

[riben-deactivated20230922]

My pet milkfly

[riben-deactivated20230922]

I think im becoming a milkfly

[riben-deactivated20230922]

Im starting to feel just like a milkfly

[riben-deactivated20230922]

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

[crabussy]

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

[crabussy]

bee boo ba ba.....

[crabussy]

this is becoming a really beautiful post

[headspace-hotel]

*grabs your hand earnestly* we're going to a place with 930 leeches per square foot. it's called...Illinois

[starcrier]

and you know what? i am REALLY sick of these ads that are openly mocking people for being concerned about the products they’re selling.

Amazon’s super bowl ad where the Alexa mocks Chris Hemsworth for being worried about giving spy software control over his entire life. Waymo’s ad with the intro “the robots are coming!” mocking people who are rightfully extremely concerned about sharing the road with, or riding in, self-driving cars.

i don’t know, it’s just genuinely insane to me. “Oh, you have legitimate concerns about our shitty product? sounds like you’re just lame!!!” like what kind of “quiet part out loud” marketing is that?

[starcrier]

so this post blew the hell up — which is i’m sure a sign that things are very normal and fine and none of us are remotely frustrated by this kind of thing — but it’s given me time to think about how to articulate the SECOND thing that pisses me off about these ads, which is that they don’t even bother to address the concerns.

i feel like any normal ad would go, for example, “i know you’ve heard that this shaving cream might give you cancer. but it doesn’t! and also it smells nice!”

but THESE ads mock you, and then go “anyway, your concerns are invalid because our self-driving cars that run over children at crosswalks have heated seats!”

it reminds me, in a much less comical way, of that scene from Emperors New Groove when the angel and devil on Kronk’s shoulders are having a debate, and the devil goes “don’t listen to that guy, because look what i can do” and then does a handstand. Only these are real-life commercials. That they expect you to take seriously.

[depsidase]

[riessene]

my long time conspiracy theory is that the huge prevalence of "dead wife" trope is because a lot of writers want their cool male protagonist to be single and/or focused on his goal but don't know how else "justify" him not pursuing women around him sexually or god forbid turn their advances down that is not emasculating in their mind

[depsidase]

[glumshoe]

what happens when they run out of inspirational noun names for Mars rovers and spaceships?

will we have to opt for naming them after less noble concepts—the USS Comeuppance? the Indignation rover? the Parsimony probe?

[glumshoe]

the USS Lactase Persistence

the Fat Tiddy rover

the Opposable Thumbs space probe

[headspace-hotel]

Next Mars rover should be called the Wet Ass Pussy

[valtsv]

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

[valtsv]

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

[valtsv]

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

[headspace-hotel]

“Noble gases” are a fucking hilarious concept, I mean like just the name. Excuse me are y’all fucking SLUT SHAMING the PERIODIC TABLE

[headspace-hotel]

Imagine if we categorized the rest of the elements this way

[headspace-hotel]

(chem class) the ninth element of the periodic table, fluorine. Fluorine is the sluttiest of all elements, willing to spread its electrons for any element except argon, neon and helium. Fluorine, you fucking whore

[crazy-brazilian]

[valtsv]

insane unsolicited notification i just got that took me way too long to realise was about the michael jackson movie and not a five nights at freddy's jumpscare

[valtsv]

benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start to receive marketing from the creepypasta universe

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women