a bunch of awful puns probably

jake bi? he/him HI?

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[burnttoastsundae]

For any high school students out there wondering what college professors are like

[phasered]

every time i see a sitcom with white families and the teenager is just like ‘see you later mom im staying at a friends house tonight!’ and they walk out i just. if i wanted to stay over at a friend’s house i had to ask 17 months in advance after a 4-generation background check of my friend’s family, on a full moon during mercury retrograde preferably during the year of the dog after making a blood sacrifice and even then my odds were like 50/50

[adhighdefinition]

somebody: so what do u like to do for fun? :)

me, very used to being mocked for my interests: ha ha, i dunno, i don’t do anything. Ever

[adhighdefinition]

it’s disturbing how fast this is getting more and more notes but i’m not surprised, sadly

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

hey guys

[stachionalgeographic]

what happens if the

[trapcard]

*lil wayne voice* call that

[soyestoday]

this entire post should not be a thing

[lord-kitschener]

Hey guys I just wanted to pop in and say that you’re all a bunch of disgusting demons from hell

[danisaurrs-deactivated20160510]

what’s with all these stories of hundred plus year old vampires falling in love with teenagers like yes they might LOOK your age but you’ve got a few centuries of maturity on them I want vampires falling in love with 40 year old suburban housewives and business executives and preschool teachers not high school students

[melthemagpie]

vampires falling in love with spry 90-year-old great-grandmothers

[strix-alba]

(x)

[beinggigantic]

did u guys see the deer with the ribbon

[beinggigantic]

this one did u see it

[beinggigantic]

did u see this

[cheatcommandos-deactivated20180]

its 1:42 am and i just heard the unmistakeable sound of someone sprinting down the road wearing flip flops. good luck buddy

[lolfactory]

[cakelikeowen]

son of a bitch

[ithelpstodream]

[rosswoodpark]

is it really so difficult, so troublesome to put the bread tie back on the bag

[hotsoccergirl1234]

My mom made this post

[minigenos]

Rest In Pancakes

[minigenos]

can somebody change the above into that fancy font I’m on mobile

[hanji-the-shitty-glasses]

Rest In Pancakes

[minigenos]

That’s not quite it but thank you for your help

[awesomepossumredux]

can somebody change the above into that fancy font I’m on mobile

[minigenos]

i should not have shown you how to do the fancy font

[awesomepossumredux]

Wait shit, I got it

[awesomepossumredux]

the above

[minigenos]

I swear to god I’m going to drive down to Ohio and beat you seneless behind a Denny’s with a giant corn cob statue memos

[awesomepossumredux]

Rest in Pancakes, there u fuckin asshole

[minigenos]

Thanks for being only 8 hours late you jackass

[winterinthetardis]

*shows up 15 months late with starbucks* anyway here’s my vine compilation

[shitstheysaid]

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

Shakira Law

[daggers-drawn]

Do we start with:

1. The fact that this is clearly supposed to be the One Ring from Lord of the Rings

2. “Shakira Law”

3. The implication that children either know arabic or will become muslims by eating a donut.

4. “Free Islamic Donut”

5. or that starbucks is giving kids weird donuts for free and expects there to be no questions about the intricate writing.

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

One donut to fool them all 

[ketchupcapacity]

6. Starbucks doesn’t sell donuts

[fangirl-overload13]

I can’t stop laughing at this

[obviousplant]

[adventurecomics]

Evidence against the argument that Superman's disguise wouldn't fool anyone:

[jean-kirschtussy]

adventurecomics

Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look alike contest to a fucking drag queen.

Charlie Chaplin once failed to even place at a Charlie Chaplin impersonator contest.

Hugh Jackman went to comic con as Wolverine, only 2 people noticed him and one told him he was too tall.

Christopher Reeve use to go to a restaurant in costume when filming Superman. When he went in the Superman costume he was mobbed by people all the time. When he went in the Clark Kent costume no one realized he was Christopher Reeve.

[lifeisfuckingweirdyo]

• Robert Downey Jr. got second place in Tony Stark look-alike contest.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Dungeon Master, meet Pun-geon Master

DM: *drawing out the map, labeling everything* -“Alright, so, this here is the town mayor’s house, this is the inn, this is the lumber mill, this is the store-”

Ranger: “Ooh, what kind of store is it?”

DM: “Oh, you know, just a general store.”

Paladin: *with a completely straight face* - “Ah, so it sells warchiefs, then?”

DM: “Right, so, anyways, over here’s the church, and-”

DM: *stops and just stares at the Paladin for a solid few seconds*

Paladin: *laughing* - it took you a second, didn’t it?

Druid: “…oh my god.“ 

DM: *still a bit speechless*

Rogue: *Also laughing* - "You know she’s gonna contrive a way to drop a rock on you for that, right?”