Yolo Bathsalts Nicki Minaj

Sarah | 12 | I like things | Wizard Maze is my religion | Togashi Sensei I will give you all three of the dollars in my bank account if you come back | pronouns: what are you a cop |

[sleeping-ranna]

reblog this if your icon could kill a man

[parkchanwoohoo]

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Wow! Everyone check out this playlist

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I just found it on sportify. Handcrafted by a regular at the KKKollective

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Billie grab the phone these guys are your biggest fans

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Moulded in your image and such

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Things that Americans know almost nothing about despite pretending like they do: Cobra

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You people would spend hours talking about King Cobras while staring at an invasive Burmese Python meanwhile the King Cobra is standing behind you watching, listening with mirth and a generationally honed apex instinct that would scare you to the point of praying for the days when you used to call Barney your friend

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I……I love Twilight

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*Snoop Dogg voice* thas a crock o dile

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*Take Back the Night by Justin Timberlake starts playing on Kroger radio* waoh they goin head up widím? They ain’t scared of him. What is these animals

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*talking to a psychiatrist* jfc. Shaking me down right now. Feeling like a hostage in this room the way you’re shaking me down for information What are you a cop? Well fine if you insist if you really want to know here’s a list of things that I feel

Things that I feel:

1) Love

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Ouch my fucking temple

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This shit sucks

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County: noun. A term. A name. To own or be owned by a populative body that urges you to do a headcount if you’re feeling cute

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What happens when The Count encounters a county

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You walk into a bar expecting a joke and are confronted by a division of territory by Kingdom or State

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This is fucking horrible. I hate that comic

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I hate that movie

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Michael Cera’s Big Advengure or whatever

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Michael Cera vs the Divine Feminine and all her petty creatures and afflictions. With his best friend Roman from Succession

[requiem-on-water]

Ph: Stefan Leal

[biganimetiddiesbitch]

The logic of rat:

If I eat at a buffet, they can’t hurt me. Because the hurt is already in the food, so they can’t put in more or they risk their establishment. If I eat at regular restaurant it gives them the opportunity to slip hurt into the food, an opportunity they almost always take advantage of. But in the buffet, the only risk of hurt is in the sharing of the trough like pigs to the feast, and the pigs whose eyes will slip from the slop to search for live meat and in these hills I’m almost always on the menu. If I eat quickly I could plausibly escape before my presence is noticed but my god we live in hog city

[biganimetiddiesbitch]

*02.24 radio dial tuned to am frequency static of dead air is interrupted by a confused sleepy pattern breaking through the harsh asteroid belt wall formed by satellite interference but careful finagling of the goniometer and finally: the captured whisper of an angel deep in the abyss of REM sleep*

“Why are they playing soccer so late at night”

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This post is about Norway.

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This post is a doorway to a world of humor beyond your wildest imagination if you can break from the barbed wire barricades of Airstrip One to the point of being able to read in Central European Time

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Ask anyone. Ask Pewdiepie

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Oh shit where’d my dollar go. Oh fuck where’s my dollar oh shit where’s my dollar. Fuck I can’t find my dollar oh shit where is it. Where’s my dollar oh fuck where’s my dollar. Shit. I can’t find my dollar oh fuck where’s my dollar. Where’d my dollar go? Oh shit I can’t find my dollar. I can’t find my dollar. Fuck, man. Where’s my dollar? Where did my dollar go I can’t find my dollar. My dollar. Where is it my dollar I can’t find my dollar

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The IRS: honestly it’s my fault but if you listen to me I can tell you how to channel your emotional reactions to dollar in such a way that simultaneously appeals to your inferiority complexes so that you seek comfort in persecution and self flagellation. Also I can tell you how to align your desire for moral superiority in such a way that you can discern a consistent enemy presence to fear and despise, an authority to venerate and worship and a conglomeration of culture to conform to, perpetuate, and defend

[biganimetiddiesbitch]

That’s great. I’ll take two Prozac tablet and a mood stabilizer

[biganimetiddiesbitch]

Well in the world of American-centric petty crimes a person could commit if there is one thing I’m guilty of it’s the fact that I like chicken bacon ranch pizza. And well if need be I’d be willing to live the rest of my life never eating another bite of pizza as forfeit, if it would preserve my karmic equilibrium and grant my ascension to consciousness with no mortal tether, natural and effortless harmony born from completion realized in material form

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And the fact of the matter is, this would be incredibly easy for me to do. I’m luckier than most in this sense, as for some other forms of matter that wander the material plane this would be an enormously difficult thing to achieve

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And even more impressive is the fact that the nature of my karmic equation levels out to a determination that the circumstances of my reality are largely defined by the determination of external circumstances and demonstrations of power that define the will of that which does not define me, and are beyond the determination of my free will which leaves my self a reflection of

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And so I could eat pizza if I wanted to but I could honestly live the rest of my life never eating pizza again

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I have made mashed potatoes from garden fresh tubers

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I have no further comment

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And

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And don’t call me Shirley

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Central intelligence conducted a silent operation on an unsuspecting hot zone in the southern United States wherein they airdropped hundreds of thousands of invasive arachnid egg sacs derived from a species that builds webs atop telephone power lines and captures prey with a singular, frighteningly strong strand of silk that drops up to 20 feet to reach all the way to the ground

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Think of a beautiful firefly experiencing the sensation of rapture as it gets hauled to the top of a power line by a fisherman checking his traps for shellfish

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*furiously pacing my room after conceptualizing a Zayn/Louis time warp fan fiction of them smoking a joint in the back of a wire tapped vehicle while the 2026 FIFA cup plays on the screen that separates the driver from the carriage, frustration over the fact that my lexicon of British slang is not evolved enough to write the piece to my liking and desperate to see my vision realized before an AI engine doesn’t beat me to the punch*

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Zayn: We need to stop sodomizing echuva.

Louis: Brother,

[biganimetiddiesbitch]

*Zayn is overcome with an intense paranoia that Liam Payne has been killed and Louis has to calm him down*