bigendering

A blog focused on bigender, nonbinary, and trans stuff and bits of my personal experience as a (mostly) out bigender person. I'm chronically ill, so if my spoon meter has 1 spoon or I'm not posting, that's why I'm not answering asks, sorry

[bigendering]

how can someone know they're bigender with a binary gender + a nonbinary one?

im a woman and don't feel disconnected from one. i love being a girl. i want others to see me as a girl bc i am one. i feel like my relationship with womanhood stays the same 100%.

but also sometimes internally i feel connected to genderqueerness. i like the concept of outside boxed energy. it does't make me feel any less female, but i also feel euphoriated with outside-boxed energy too.

i don't want to be seen as less than a woman, but i've always had some connection to the nonbinary/genderqueer spectrum too. idk. how can someone tell?

Honestly it really comes down to vibes, and what makes you happy. If it clicks, if it fits, it’s you. If identifying as woman/genderqueer bigender makes you happy and it feels like you, then congratulations, that’s your gender!

For what it’s worth, the “I’m fully this but I’m additionally this other thing” is a pretty common experience among bigender people. Being nonbinary doesn’t have to make you any less of a woman.

Hope this helps!

Kai

[themaveriqueagenda]

"nonbinary people are included in every orientation" doesn't mean "all nonbinary people are included in all orientations", it means "there are nonbinary people who feel comfortable being included in different orientations". i for one am not included in your straightness, lesbianism or gay male attraction because i'm not male or female lite. i'm not included in anything associated with or centred around binary gender.

when you use it to mean "all nonbinary people are included in all orientations" you ARE erasing nonbinary people by basically saying we are whatever gender fits someone's orientation, rather than someone's orientation maybe being different than previously thought or simply having exceptions.

there are nonbinary ppl who feel included in all orientations. there are nonbinary ppl who feel included only in queer orientations. there are nonbinary ppl who feel included only in orientations that are associated with loving women. there are nonbinary ppl who feel included only in orientations associated with loving men. there are nonbinary ppl who only feel included in multi-gender attraction. there are nonbinary ppl who only feel included in orientations that explicitly include us. there are nonbinary people who only feel included in lesbian, straight or gay attraction from other transgender and nonbinary people. there are nonbinary people who decide on a case by case basis.

LET US HAVE NUANCE. stop flattening us into whatever fits your narrative. we're not a blank slate you can just project things on.

if you're straight and attracted to me, you're either not as straight as you think or i'm the exception to your straightness (like for my partner), but i am NEVER included unless you view me as basically a woman or basically a man. the same is true for gay men and lesbians for me.

i get to decide what includes me and what doesn't.

[ashlgcostumes]

Quite frankly if a cis woman wants he/him pronouns a. Good for him and b. So much the better for everyone else. Enough biological linguistics, everyone needs to get a little weird with it

[evil-enby-osoka]

i hate that nonbinary people can't be, like, nonbinary.

whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.

if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."

if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."

we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.

we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."

we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.

if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.

if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.

our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).

but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.

we just can't win, and it's upsetting.

[bigendering]

Just letting you know that you reblogged an anti-endo person. The lesbian label one.

ugh sorry I didn’t read that far in the dnis. Deleted.

[bigendering]

Not really an ask, more a vent because I don't know who to share this with.

I hate that I will likely always look straight to strangers.

I don't know how to explain it, but I've always felt like I liked men differently than other girls around me. It made me wonder if I was trans for a long time. After spending a lot of time stressing in my head I allowed myself to be bi-gender (he/her) and it made all the fear/worry/anger go away.

All this to say: I'm so gay for men and I'll always be considered straight. Even though I know that's a problem with the world and not me, it still hurts sometimes. Makes me feel like I don't belong anywhere.

Depending on the presentation of you and your partner(s), yeah, probably. That does suck, but you know, and your partner(s) can know, and your friends can know, and now we know. You belong with us.

Kai

[bigendering]

Hi :) I don't really describe myself as bigender but I am both a boy and a girl and neither, so I'm asking this here. I'm not out (except to 2 friends, both trans) and I'm treated as a girl but I do want to like ... connect with being a boy if that makes sense? I'm still figuring things out, but I want to try out boyness and masculinity and I'm not sure how to do that. I'm using he/him online and with those friends atm and I'm enjoying that but I'd luke to try other things. (I'm 16 and I have a feminine body if that's relevant.) Thank you!! Have a nice day :)

Depending on your culture, you may be able to try a lot of masculine things and pass it off as tomboyishness. Things like wearing masculine clothes and cutting your hair short, if you want to do those. If you don’t want to buy clothes, you could try on a friend’s or go to a mall or thrift store and try things on there. If you don’t want to cut your hair, you could also try tucking it under a hat for a temporary thing.

Honestly it all depends on what you think of as masculine, and what you want. One difficulty I had telling I was bigender was that with the way I was raised, basically nothing masculine was barred for women so there wasn’t a distinct line between tomboy and man, besides name and pronouns.

If you’re into ttrpgs (which I highly recommend), you could also try playing a male character, or masculine nonbinary character, one that you really identify with. Make them a self insert if you want. This goes for any kind of roleplaying really.

Hope this helps!

Kai

[bigendering]

I feel like my gender cancels itself out basically. Like if it were an equation and I put two huge numbers in and ended up with 0. The fact that I put in such large quantities should be acknowledged, but the result is still 0. Is this a semi common bigender thing?

I don’t know how common it is, especially since I don’t know exactly what you’re experiencing, but it does feel familiar. I know a lot of m/f people feel like their genders cancel each other out on the gender binary spectrum, so they identify and present very gender neutrally. As for feeling like your two genders crashed like matter and antimatter and left nothing, I’m not sure how common that is, but I think I’ve heard of similar things.

Followers?

Kai

[cosmiclion]

Love wins 😌

And a version for my aro/ace/not interested in kissing for whatever reason siblings:

[soymilkcookie]

Thx for the last one <3

[decompose1]

you tell me that all the bad people are stupid. you tell me that stupid people should be killed, bred out, that evolution will leave them behind. i tell you that's not funny, that i have an intellectual disability, that i want to be allowed to love and to have children of my own. that maybe it's not the end of the world if "stupid" people get to stay. that my caregiver loves me and takes care of me. that she reads to me. that i get by with my little accessibility tools scattered about the house, my aac, and by being gentle. you tell me it's a joke. clearly you aren't like those REAL eugenicists, you only talk like them. you tell me surely i must agree- all the bad people, the ones who take away my rights, they must not be smart, they must be lacking some information to make them like this. i tell you smart people have hurt me more than anyone else because they know better and they still choose cruelty. these people in power aren't lacking anything. they have all the resources in the world and brains that work the way they want. they don't know struggle, they doom everyone who does. you don't stop talking about "stupid people" like we're a disease to eradicate. i note you down as one more smart person who has failed me by choosing to be cruel when you knew better

[genderstarbucks]

Is there a romantic version of berrisexual?

Almondromantic is a term for people who are romantically attracted to men/masculine-aligned genders, but occasionally can feel attraction to women/feminine-aligned genders.

Verianromantic is a term for people who are romantically attracted to men/masculine-aligned genders, but occasionally can feel attraction to women/feminine-aligned genders.

Berriromantic is a term for people who are romantically attracted to women/feminine-aligned genders, but occasionally can feel attraction to men/masculine-aligned genders.

Laurianromantic is a term for people who are romantically attracted to women/feminine-aligned genders, but occasionally can feel attraction to men/masculine-aligned genders.

Now there is!

[candywafercutie]

For Pride I wanted to celebrate some microlabels/niche flags! Not all of these are that rare (like bisexual is NOT a microlabel lmao), but the majority are. I picked labels I felt matched my interpretations of characters the best. Hopefully my descriptions did right by everyone!

If you feel another label would suit a character, feel free to leave it in the comments!

[justinhubbell]

Thanks for reading,

This is the 10th Anniversary Edition of "It's Not A Race." Originally released in August, this version is months late because the prospect of adding pages to what is easily my most read works was particularly daunting.

I wanted to post it again unattached to the original so I could display it the way it was meant to be seen. Blessings, -J

[big-ender]

[theminotaursmanual]

by Laerte Coutinho

[las-lus]

btw this is laerte. She is 73 now! Making art and being happy! It's never too late to transition

[big-ender]

[thegardenhearth]

label-hoarding and name-hoarding in 2026!!!!!