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@bigenderr
You can call me “M” or by my username. I’m bigender (male+female) and a lesbian. Use He/She pronouns for me. I’m a headmate in a system, but I’m the only one who posts here. This blog primarily runs on queue of things I identify with.
This is really just a rambling/musing blog about my identity. I normally reblog things I find helpful, but occasionally I post positivity posts and graphics.
Shout out to all my lesbians who are also men, y’all deserve the world. 💖💘💝
If you’re not mlm, please for the love of god stop throwing around twink and fruity like they’re funny new buzzwords.
Twink is not a word to describe every single skinny white man you somehow find attractive. Twink is not a word to be used to mock or belittle men’s bodies. Twink is not a word to be used in any joking manner unless you yourself are a man who identifies as a twink. All this, goes for bear, cub, otter, wolf, ect. They are SELF IDENTIFIERS for specific subcultures that exist in the gay community, and not every skinny white gay man identifies with them, and on top of that, it always, always, erases fat and non-white people when you boil twink down to “any skinny white men (gay or not) I find attractive.
And fruity. Stop. Calling. People. Fruity. Tag it, at least, please. For me, it’s extremely upsetting to see, especially by people who spew “queer is a slur” say it. Can we please stop introducing an old derogatory word into queer lingo? Because that’s what fruity is, a derogatory word. I’ve been called it before, it’s never in good faith. Nowhere in my life has someone ever called me “fruity” in a nice way, and hearing a bunch of young, straight (and non-mlm kids) call everything that moves a fruit is upsetting. Queer has been reclaimed for decades, queer is been identified with for decades. Queer is that our ancestors called themselves in the face of oppression. Fruity is a derogatory word for gay men, that’s never had a movement to reclaim it, that you all decided was fun and hip to use.
TLDR: Stop using twink and fruity like slang words, one is an important self identifier and actually identity, the other is literally made to mock mlm.
Maybe this is a weird take but honestly I'm not looking for proof that my gender is "real". I'm not agonizing over the biological reason I'm nonbinary, I'm not searching for the "trans" gene, and I'm not worried about my brain being in a "wrong body". If someone walked up to me and proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there's no scientific way I could be bigender I simply wouldn't care. I enjoy my identity, it makes me happy to exist, and that's the only reasoning I need. My goal is a happier me, not having to prove myself to others.
Can bigender people who consider themselves mlm and wlw reclaim the f slur?
Sure, let’s dive into the discourse, why not.
People who use “faggot” derogatorily don’t care about your identity. If you violate their norms and they’re an asshole they’ll call you a faggot, and it’s not meant as a label, it’s meant as an attack. They don’t care whether you “fit” something, they care that you *don’t* fit, and you clearly don’t if you’re not cisstraight.
“Faggot” in particular has been used primarily against mlm, so yeah I don’t think there’s really any doubt that someone who identifies as mlm can reclaim the term. If it’s been used against people because they’re people like you, then it’s yours to reclaim.
Kai
[ID: a screenshot of a tweet by “guy who has 55 neurodivergencies ∞” @/transmascnaoto reading: “i’m a girlboy and boygirl simultaneously. i can be your girlfriend and your boyfriend. your and wife and hubsand. your malewife and girllboss and everything you ever yearn for.” /end ID]
Reminder to fellow multigender folks whose gender(s) include being male and female (whether that be at the same time, sometimes, only half, one now and then the other another day, etc) that being male and female is not wrong neither is it inherently contradicting.
Male and female are genders and are not "mutually exclusive", no matter how much people push that they are. You can be both. They're also not "opposites" and they do in fact exist on a spectrum, and just because you're both doesn't mean you're not trans or nonbinary. And being the gender you were assigned at birth more than one you weren't or getting more euphoric when you are your assigned gender at birth is not a crime either.
Also if sometimes you're not female or male, doesn't make you any less valid as a multigender person. Genders are fluid for some and can fluctuate, especially if you have dysphoria.
I'm just really tired of seeing multigender folks who are male and female, getting erased. A lot of us experience extreme isolation especially multigender people of color because most non multigender people don't know how to "categorize" us or can't figure out what box to shove us in. And being male and female and a person of color comes with all kinds of different perspectives/battles, especially when facing transphobia which is inherently linked to racism.
To try and force us to either stick to our assigned gender at birth or choose a gender that doesn't match our agab in order to be "truly trans", is not only dangerous but inherently queerphobic. We are male and female, some of us have more genders than just those two, and that has to be respected. There should never be a point to were we feel like we have to choose one or the other or force ourselves to be something we're not. We are multigender. We are male and female. Take it or leave it.
Could you maybe make a bigender axolotl?
day 589
The “non-men loving non-men” definition of lesbian is not helpful nor inclusive to nonbinary people. The “non-women loving non-women” definition of veldian/gay is not helpful nor inclusive to nonbinary people. I get some people want to be inclusive to nonbinary people, and that great! Keep it up! But please stop boiling down nonbinary people to just “not women and not men.” Nonbinary is a diverse group of people. Some view it was a third gender, multiple genders, no genders, and many, many more. You cannot group all these people into “not men and not women.” Along with that, not all non-men will like being labeled under lesbian, and not all non-women will like being labeled under gay. These terms are broad for inclusivity but ultimately fall flat because it groups many people into groups they may not feel comfortable being in.
“Woman” and “Man” are not opposites and are not mutually exclusive. You cannot support all nonbinary and genderqueer people until you realize this.
Let’s stop saying “trans people who don’t want to transition” and start saying “trans people who don’t want to medically transition.” Just because you don’t want to medically transition doesn’t mean you aren’t transitioning. There’s a lot of pressure to medically transition to the point that not wanting anything medical done is seen as “not transitioning” and I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. You transition by realizing you’re trans, calling yourself a different name, or different pronouns, or referring to yourself by a different gender, you transition by telling other people to call you by a different name, or gender, or pronouns. Transitioning is not inherently medical, and we need to stop treating it like it is. I didn’t medically transition, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t transition. I did transition, and I’m proud of myself for it.
How has this post almost gained 1,000 notes in two days.
I log out for a day and I come back to like 200+ notifications what the hell.
☆ boyqueer (left) / girlqueer (right) alt flag designs !
the definition we use for these terms can be found here along with flag & an alt definition here.
the top two designs are modeled after the genderqueer flag, while the bottom two are simply for aesthetic. colors for boyqueer were picked from mars and colors from girlqueer were picked from venus.
☆ image IDs found below ☆
Keep reading
Let’s stop saying “trans people who don’t want to transition” and start saying “trans people who don’t want to medically transition.” Just because you don’t want to medically transition doesn’t mean you aren’t transitioning. There’s a lot of pressure to medically transition to the point that not wanting anything medical done is seen as “not transitioning” and I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. You transition by realizing you’re trans, calling yourself a different name, or different pronouns, or referring to yourself by a different gender, you transition by telling other people to call you by a different name, or gender, or pronouns. Transitioning is not inherently medical, and we need to stop treating it like it is. I didn’t medically transition, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t transition. I did transition, and I’m proud of myself for it.
I’m becoming homophobic.
[Image ID: A cropped image of a tumblr DNI. The two points visible are “• Anti-consang” and “• Anti-paraphilas.” /End ID]
