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if i look back, i am lost

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@biggiezza
HAPPY PRIDE 1st!
🏳️🌈
DONALD JAMES PARKER IS THE MESSIAH OF THE DJPCU
So, apparently you’re religion can suppress your homosexuality so much that you don’t recognize that you had a full on crush on another dude until almost a decade later. Discovering yourself is crazy.
I remember the days when the one closest would pay attention to me…. 😞
Why does cleaning your house after your dog passes feels so cruel and so final? why am I erasing his life here and I’ll never see his paw prints on the floor again or his lick marks on the coffee table or refill his food bowl or sweep up his fur or see his nose prints on the glass door ever again
I miss my heating pad so much :(
Gotta love the scripture 😂
Went to turn on the blues game and saw that FanDuel is also streaming the sirens vs the frost PWHL game. It’s good to see it growing beyond just YouTube!
LETS FUCKING GOOOOO
IM SO HAPPY
HOFER WITH THE SHUTOUT
YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE
Also against the Jets who I have a grudge against!!!!
Its sucks falling out of love for your home
I've lived in this town in Missouri my entire life. And for most of my life I actually loved it here. It's rural, medium sized, quiet. There's beautiful oak woodlands, rolling fields of cropland, and winding rivers. My church was here, my family is here. My dog is buried in the back yard and my grandpa's ashes are spread over the horse's pasture where he loved to be.
I won't lie, part of why I loved it here was because I was raised in a conservative Christian home and the values that come with it. As I grew (honestly probably started in middle school) I definitely leaned further and further left and away from the views of my family and town until I was a full blown liberal (how dare! /s)
I was always absolutely willing to plant my life here and stay and vote and volunteer for queer spaces to help make a difference in Missouri and the people who live here.
But then I had kids.
And for me personally, having children shifted my mentality from "stay and fight" to "find somewhere better". I began to ask myself if it was safe for them to live here if they are queer. Or if the social and political environment would steer them towards hatred and bigotry
This most recent election really rekindled my hope for Missouri when Prop-A and AMDT 3 passed (for those who don't know, Proposition-A required employers to provide an amount of paid sick leave per hours worked, and Amendment 3 was the Right to Reproductive Freedom).
They passed! ...along with Mike "Motherfucker" Kehoe as our Governor
As soon as he was elected he started a campaign to do everything in his power to overturn AMDT-3 even though it passed by popular vote. In the meantime he also signed off on overturning Prop-A mere months after the election. Now, as of yesterday, there is a push to criminalize all abortion as murder. I truly believe that Kehoe will jump on this very quickly. If any of my future children have a uterus, this will be a danger to them specifically. This is a danger to me specifically. If you've even had a miscarriage in Missouri like I have, this is a danger to you specifically.
Again, I was willing to stay here and vote and try to make a difference. I felt that it was my responsibility as an American with her right to vote (while I still have it at least) but I also have a responsibility as a parent to provide a safe place to live. And I have a responsibility as a spouse to my husband who recently came out to me about his sexuality. Even though he looks like a "large white blue collar man with a wife and kids" he is overall part of a community that nearly lost their marriage rights when Obergefell v. Hodges got revisited.
Also in the midst of all this, my husband and I have gone through a deconstruction period regarding our religion and upbringing.
It seems like there is less and less grounding me here and I'm left feeling abandoned by my home that refuses to evolve with the times. I grew up, and Missouri grew older
Now I want to uproot my family and flee Missouri but there's no point in dreaming about it because financially we aren't any better off than most Americans at the moment.
But how do you keep your family safe in a state that wants all of you dead?