This OP ("Bright Helen") literally wrote in her post's thread, and I quote: "Stop eating and go to the gym!"
Stop eating?? Stop eating... Really?? 'Cause that's healthy advice to give to people as an authority on.. anything..?? There are 675 things WRONG with this post & the attitudes n’ phrases of the OP, and that’s what we’re gonna discuss right here. Strap in, kids. This is gonna be a long one.
...
There is no place for people or attitudes like this in the bellydance world that I have come to know and deeply, dearly love. Not as a person of size. Not as a person with a disability. Not as a person who happens to be short, or female, or poor, or ANY OF IT. I don’t know what bellydance world this poster comes from, but I want no part in it.
I have been a part of this community on 2 coasts now for over 9 years, and while I will NEVER profess to be an “expert,” I think I can speak from a place of relatively decent understanding of this world and its denizens. What I DO know, is that this artform is a place where ALL bodies can be free and feel welcomed and empowered and loved. ALL BODIES. Old bodies, big bodies, light bodies, dark bodies, male bodies, thin bodies, round bodies, petite bodies, different bodies, scarred bodies... ALL BODIES.
And while yes, for some, being successful means attaining/maintaining a certain aesthetic, I've also seen over the years that being a successful, "professional" bellydancer does not necessarily entail ANY one specific body type. XS
However, I also know definitively (from a personal and community perspective) that it's attitudes like this that keep people OUT of dance. It’s this hatred of Others and hatred of Self that keeps people FROM attaining their goals as performers- professional or otherwise. BECAUSE of stereotypes and stigma like this. BECAUSE of hate and accepted, socially supported ignorance & bigotry like this. I also know (from a personal perspective and from the MANY people I've talked to over the years, dancer and otherwise), that it's commentary like this that causes and encourages not only a generally negative body image in women n' dancers of all sorts alike, but also eating disorders, hardcore, genuine body dysmorphia, depression and lots more. -And that's regardless of gender and artform/dance/pursuit.
See, this sh* doesn't just hurt "fat people." You're hurting EVERYONE with this kind of hate. Doesn't matter whether a person has 5, 50, 100 or NO pounds to lose- or whether they're a dancer or not. These attitudes, statements and mindsets are ugly, toxic, mental poison to EVERYONE they touch, which is why posting n' proselytizing this sh* is -not okay.- You're not just hurting Becky who happens to wear a size 22 (although shaming her and making her feel horrible, unworthy and unwanted is still NOT OKAY). You're hurting Jenny who's been battling with anorexia for the last 15 years. Or Miles who's been bulimic and hiding it from everyone he knows, because men are pressured to look a certain way too- but get taught that talking about feelings & reaching out for help are signs of “weakness.” You're hurting Nadia, who never stops obsessing about what she eats or how she looks, because she was taught growing up that “people won't love her unless she's ‘beautiful.’" You're harming Nancy, who's been wanting to dance her WHOLE LIFE, but is afraid to even hit her first dance class because “dancers are always so slender" & "she could NEVER been seen in one of those outfits in public..." XS And what about any kids that might be reading this w/their folks, or over a lovedones’ shoulders..?? What kind of values & attitudes do you think you’re instilling in THEM, by encouraging comparisons between people, judging folks on how they look, and valuing people based on their appearances alone..??? You're a public figure. Has it not occurred to you that you might be damaging SLEWS OF PEOPLE, just by a few hateful statements.. or in this case, one -awful- meme??
PLEASE STOP. Not only this, but allll of this kind of behavior. Just.. in general. Please stop putting others down to make yourself feel better. This is something that you should've been taught out of in kindergarten....
Oh, and ftr..? To all of you dancers and would-be dancers out there, whether you ever plan on setting foot on a stage or not..? If your dance teacher, troupe leader, etc. talks to you this way, makes you feel badly about your body, or attacks another dancer for theirs, professional or not, it's time to find a new dance teacher/troupe/leader. It’s one of my most shared posts from this blog, but apparently, the info bears repeating. Shaming is NEVER the way to go. NEVER. I don't care if your motives are "good." Talking to people like this is never, never, never all right. You don’t get positive things done by hurting people. That’s not altruism or “helping.” That’s causing harm in the world, plain & simple. And this life is hard enough.
I don't know your story just because you're thin, and you suuure as hell don't know my story just because I'm fat.
STOP THE JUDGEMENT AND HATE.
#allbodiescandance
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