Bi and Bipolar: I go both ways

Commentary on my personal experiences as a bisexual woman with bipolar.

[bipolarbi-blog]

Something I am grateful for (“Love Myself” Day 19)

Something I am grateful for (“Love Myself” Day 19)

In the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday, I decided to skip ahead to this question.  I’ve been thinking about thankfulness quite a bit this weekend.  Here are my top answers:

I am thankful that I’m still alive. Life is beautiful when I’m not severely depressed.  I’ve learned that depression is temporary, and if I keep holding on, eventually things will turn around again.  Over the last 18 months…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

We've Reached a Milestone

We’ve Reached a Milestone

Over the weekend, we were lucky enough to attract our 100th follower.  I just wanted to express to everyone how thrilled I am that you’ve followed my blog, and how much I appreciate you all!  Thank you!

Most Sincerely,

Amy and Sarah

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Ten Things I Want to Share About My Invisible Illness

I am one of many. Nearly 1 in 2 Americans has some sort of chronic condition, and about 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder every year. Of those who live with a chronic illness...

[bipolarbi-blog]

Ten Things I Want to Share About My Invisible Illness

Ten Things I Want to Share About My Invisible Illness

I am one of many.Nearly 1 in 2 Americans has some sort of chronic condition, and about 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder every year.   Of those who live with a chronic illness, the illness is invisible 96% of the time.  In my case, I don’t look sick at all.  In fact, I appear to be quite healthy.  But my illness is very real, as real as your flu virus or broken finger.  In…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Quotes from Famous Bisexual People

Quotes from Famous Bisexual People

Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I’ll go a step further. You must be bisexual.  –  Rita Mae Brown

I don’t care if you’re black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. Simple as that.  –  Eminem

You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender – people are people.  – Judith Light

It’s hard…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Something I’ve Done Right (“Love Myself” Day 15)

Something I’ve Done Right (“Love Myself” Day 15)

Why is it so hard to answer this question about myself?  I can look at my friends and family and answer for them very quickly.  But for myself, it’s hard.  What have I done right?  Here’s a few things:

I don’t swear or take the Lord’s name in vain. Every now and then a bad word slips out, but for the most part, you won’t hear me swear verbally or in my writing.

I graduated from high school with a…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Something I’ve Overcome (“Love Myself” Day 14)

Something I’ve Overcome (“Love Myself” Day 14)

Again, I found a handful of answers to this question.

Stigma and discrimination because of my sexual orientation and mental health issues. I continue to fight both every day.

Self-doubt.

Low self-esteem.

A failed first marriage.

Multiple surgeries – right hand, right shoulder, gall bladder removal, both feet.

Two difficult pregnancies.

Anxiety and depression. I haven’t fully overcome them yet,…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Share a Meaningful Quote (“Love Myself” Day 13)

Share a Meaningful Quote (“Love Myself” Day 13)

“Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.”  TobyMac

I love this quote.  It resonates with me right now because of my current struggles with Bipolar Depression.  My life is, well, a mess at the moment.  But it wasn’t always that way, and someday it will be beautiful again.  The same is true of many other people.  And the message is the same:  Don’t Judge.  You never know where people…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Something I’d Like to Learn (“Love Myself” Day 12)

Something I’d Like to Learn (“Love Myself” Day 12)

To be honest, I can think of quite a few things I’d like to learn.  So here’s a list.

Another language. I studied Spanish in high school and I think it would be easy to pick it up again (20 years later!).  It might even come in handy here in Florida!

How to sew. I have a sewing machine, and I can do simple things like hemming and buttons, but I’d really like to be able to createrather than just…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Share a Talent ("Love Myself" Day 11)

Share a Talent (“Love Myself” Day 11)

As I alluded to on Day #7, I have a talent that’s perfect for this question.  I am an excellent trumpet player.  I started college as a Music major and almost became a professional trumpet player.  Instead I discovered a love for science and chose a different road (see Day #8).

Throughout college and for a couple years afterwards, I played in every band, orchestra, and musical group I could…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Encourage Myself to Reach Goals From Day 9 ("Love Myself" Day 10)

Encourage Myself to Reach Goals From Day 9 (“Love Myself” Day 10)

You go girl!  Losing 15 pounds and scoring a cruise?  You can do it!  All it takes is a healthy portion of self-discipline and a solid plan.  And I do have a plan to lose weight!  I keep getting derailed by migraines and medication adjustments, but here it is anyway.

Use my Fitbit every day and try to get in at least 8,000 steps

Track my diet using the Myfitnesspal app

Buy healthier snacks “just…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Describe a Future Goal ("Love Myself" Day 9)

Describe a Future Goal (“Love Myself” Day 9)

For several years now, my husband and I have talked about going on a cruise.  We never took a honeymoon after our wedding 10 years ago, and a cruise sounds like just the sort of vacation we would enjoy.  We made a deal about two years ago:  If I get down to the weight I was for our wedding, we’ll go on a cruise.  Unofficially, it will be our honeymoon.

While I have lost about 10 lbs, I still have…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

What motivates me? ("Love Myself" Day 8)

What motivates me? (“Love Myself” Day 8)

This is a more difficult question than it sounds. Twenty years ago I could have answered without a second thought. I was very ambitious and highly motivated to succeed in my career. I was going to get a Ph.D. in Cell Biology, win some grants, run my own lab, and work towards finding a cure for cancer.  I didn’t think I’d have time for a marriage or a family.  My only focus was on my career.

I…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Rock Bottom Again

I spent five days in Sacramento, CA visiting my best friend and her family between last week and this week.  It was wonderful and uplifting.  I came home late Tuesday night, feeling awesome.  Ready to see my husband and kids and step back into my many roles.

The Tower Bridge in Old Sacramento. Copyright 2015 Sarah Emmerling

My time with my friends had elevated my mood.  I felt like I’d finally…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

How My 7-year-old Stops Me From Suicide

How My 7-year-old Stops Me From Suicide

Over the last few months, my 7-year-old daughter has been asking a lot of questions about death, dying, the soul, and heaven.  The trigger was the opening scene in the movie UP, where Mr. Frederickson and his wife Ellie’s life history is briefly presented.  This sequence always makes me cry.  It’s a poignant story of love, life, and loss.  And my 7-year-old is finally old enough to apply it to…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Something I Do Well ("Love Myself" Day 7)

Something I Do Well (“Love Myself” Day 7)

I’m human, just like you.  There are a few things I do well, and plenty that I do poorly.  I’ve already written about parenting-related things I do well in my post “I think I am a bad mom…”  And to be honest, the skill I’d like to write about is more appropriate as an answer to #11 (a talent).  So instead I’m going to write about a few miscellaneous things that I do particularly well.  These…

View On WordPress

[bipolarbi-blog]

Easily Create and Share Your Own Safety Plan with My New Downloadable PDFs

Easily Create and Share Your Own Safety Plan with My New Downloadable PDFs

One of my blogging friends (Sandra), after reading my Safety Plan, recommended that I create a downloadable PDF form so my readers can create their own plan.  I thought this was a fantastic idea, since the plan I wrote was actually a combination of several different plans that I found online.  I could see the need for a better, more comprehensive plan.

So I spent most of today designing a PDF…

View On WordPress