Is there any food here?

Sweet Dreams are made of dylan o'brien.

[sapphiccore]

this is… so pure

[kittenfossils]

stay there forever

[onlyblackgirl]

We had a cow that would do this. You could take naps on her all day.

[montypythonandtheholyblog]

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

❤

[dunhamsanddreamscapes]

[sadxfuzz-deactivated20141025]

today on satan makes a blog post

[mytinygayitalianson-deactivated]

Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.

[clockworkjerk]

Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.

[thelilnan]

i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format

[cobaltzosia]

Can you imagine Lito having a cold though??? 

“I cannot breathe Hernando. Hernando I am dying.”

“Hernando, Hernando it is too hot in here. It is too hot and the blankets are SUFFOCATING ME HERNANDO.” 

*several hours of loud sniffing*

“Hernando do you still love me although I am disgusting and sick?” 

“Why is this happening to me? I don’t deserve this. Am I not a good person? I do not deserve this.” 

“These tissues are made of sandpaper, Hernando. My nose can take no more.” 

“Hernando. Hernando I am cold why did you take the blankets off me? Hernando hold me.” 

“I want to LIVE, Hernando.” 

[archatlas]

raylivez

[cologneoscopy-deactivated202010]

[cardansgreenbriars-deactivated2]

text post version 

[luxatoid-deactivated20200723]

chipped

[theshitneyspears]

friend: bitch lets not get sloppy tonight in the club

me: totally! one drink max

*one hour later*

[delioncunt]

kink confess: katya believing in herself and trusting her ideas.

[theshitneyspears]

friend: bitch lets not get sloppy tonight in the club

me: totally! one drink max

*one hour later*

[cerseu]

she really did this

[regulusblqck]

「 hogwarts™ aesthetics 」⋯  Top 5 Spells (+extra) asked by @rvenaravenclaw ✧

                                             Defensive and Offensive Spells ❝ It’s about preparing ourselves for what’s waiting for us out there. It’s about making sure we really can defend ourselves.❞ — Hermione Granger | Order Of The Phoenix.

requests are currently open so send in any harry potter stuff for edits

[theblogofeternalstench]

[fieldbears]

OH MY GOD THOUGH

[sapphia]

BEST COMEBACK ON ANY COMEDY PANEL SHOW EVER AND SHE’S NOT EVEN A COMEDIAN

[hannahismyharto]

Can she calculate the amount of cold water he needs for that burn?

[this-is-a-mainblog]

[ninaahelvar]

[idealuk]

I’ll handle it.

Wolfgang ‘Fucking’ Bogdanow after silently walking around the planet, collecting his cluster, and I’m like ‘Boy, don’t play, we all know that you need your fam’. (He got all of the women before he got any of the other men, and got the one fellow white man last, when he was looking for unspoken solidarity-specific strength! That’s just too perfect in any way that you look at it.)

I. Fucking. Love. My. Eight. Children!!!

Now, let’s fuck some shit up, and let Kala be a sexy bad-ass like her man!

(via idealuk)

[our-connection-is-a-miracle]

and so i wake in the morning and i step outside, and i take a deep breath and i

SCREAM BECAUSE KALA AND WOLFGANG SHOULD BE IN PARIS BEING IN LOVE BUT THEY AREN’T AND I’M NOT OK WITH THIS GODDAMN BITCH OF AN UNSATISFACTORY SITUATION