Weekend getaway to Rochester, NY
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@blackdreamsoffashion
Weekend getaway to Rochester, NY
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It’s August 7th and unfortunately, things have gotten exponentially worse…. in the U.S. because the rest of the world has generally gotten their shit together.
As things continue to worsen and we wait for the ticking time bomb that is K-12 schools and universities opening for F2F instruction… prior to having a vaccine, there honestly doesn’t seem to be a real end in sight (unless I move to Canada, and I may or may not have been researching how to become a Canadian citizen).
Most of the time, I’m ok with this. I’m a big girl, I understand that life is hard, things happen, “it is what it is” (barf), but there are some days where the realization that I’ll be living through these Covid times indefinitely, truly knocks the wind out of me.
While I’m generally a home body, I do like the option of being able to leave my house. I miss being able to visit family and friends without worrying about infecting each other. I miss the gym, and coffee shops, and Marshall’s, and thrift stores. I could go on and on about what I miss, but I’ll spare you since I’m sure everyone has things they’re missing right now.
On these hard days, and throughout the pandemic in general, I’ve tried to find ways to feel somewhat “normal”, and luckily with the help of my therapist and suggestions from friends, I’ve felt ok most days and I don’t curl up and cry on the floor for hours on the hard days either (even though a good cry is always good for the soul).
So, I thought I’d share my tips.
Being a teacher and all, it’s in my nature.
1. Tip 1: Keep a loose schedule
In the beginning of the pandemic, I found that I was trying to just go with the flow. I didn’t have any sort of schedule and I quickly learning that everything just started to blend together, in a negative way. When you come from a structured life style, i.e. teaching classes, waking up, eating , working out, dissertating, etc. all at a set time, having no structure feels hard after a while! So, I created a very loose, very flexible schedule, as I found it gave me something to look forward to, while helping my life to feel more normal. For example, my days are generally: wake up around 7:30/8, listen to a podcast or two while eating, from 9 until 12 it’s open to what I want (maybe running, going for a walk, reading, cleaning, etc.). 12:30 is lunch followed by coffee and a dessert. 1-5 I try to complete some school/work related tasks. 5:30-6:30 I cook and have dinner. After dinner, we might go for another walk… or another dessert. I might dance to ratchet music for 20-30 minutes (also good for the soul, trust me), or I might do some things around the house. 9:30-11:30 I watch Netflix. So as you can see, it’s super loose, and the only things that are truly set are my meal times… otherwise I’d be eating constantly all day. The first month of covid, we spent about $600 on food….for two people…. and our budget is 250-300 a month #yikes. By having some things to look forward to though, it helps my days to run a bit smoother. But let’s be honest, we all know it’s the dessert after lunch that keeps me going LOL.
2. Tip 2: Find you hobby
Considering the way American culture and society is set up (insert side-eye here), our lives are often centered around work/school and other obligations, and we rarely have time to pursue other things. Therefore, I’ve tried to really take advantage of having to be home by incorporating some old hobbies back into my life, and even trying new ones. I’ve been flying through angsty Mangas and Animes and repurposing/revamping thrifted furniture/ people trash.
I even made a children’s book for my nephew centered around him and my sister!
I’m also trying to expand the inventories of bread I can make. I’m happily at a solid 1.5 different loaves. I say 1.5 because the second type only comes out well 50% of the time LOL.
There are so many things you can do such as an online cooking class, a Zoom paint-with-a twist, drawing, photography, running, gardening, learning a new language or skill, becoming an indoor plant mom, etc.
I am especially biased towards activities that involve moving the body. NUMEROUS studies (no I’m not looking them up/linking them b/c I do enough of that as an academic, so you can look up studies yourself!) have found that exercise helps with anxiety and depression (I can attest to this), with mental clarity and focus (I can also attest to this), it helps you sleep better, and it also helps with your immune system, blood pressure, and hormone regulation. My moods are always consistently better when I exercise vs. when I don’t. When I don’t I can become a crazy bish….
3. Tip 3: Take social media breaks
I do this and I have several friends who do this as well. Yes it is important to be connected and social media can facilitate that. However, it is extremely important to monitor/control what we consume. The world, especially the U.S. is NOT a pretty place right now. Our feeds are filled with Black men and women losing their lives to police, families being ripped apart due to Covid-related deaths, thousands of deaths in Lebanon, a humanitarian crisis in Yemen, and the list goes on and on. Taking breaks from constant exposure to that is crucial to maintaining our mental health. I know it’s easier said than done, and studies have shown that social media is a literal addition, but I find that it helps to set small goals, which can be done easily with i-phones. Simply set a limit to the amount of time you’re able to use social media apps (through the i-phone settings), and it will lock you out of the app once you reach that time limit.
4. Tip 4: The Calm app
I cannot express how in love I am with the Calm app. I believe it’s $70 a year but given that I use it everyday, that’s essentially .20 cents a day. Trust me, it’s wellll worth it. The app includes things like guided meditations, bedtime stories, daily mood check-ins, sound scapes, 7-days of gratitude, and help for anxiety, confidence, relationships, stress, emotions, etc. etc. TBH, you should have bought it when I said .20 cents a day! This app helped me through graduate school as I struggled with stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, and it continues to help me with those same things as I transition into a new work environment and of course, Covid.
Lastly, I’m not sure whether this is a tip or not due to its broadness but, if I’ve learned anything from all of this craziness, it’s to do things meaningfully and with intention. It’s soooo easy to agree to 1000 Zoom get-togethers when you’re not interacting with other humans, but it gets to a point where we’re just doing things to do them. Like social media. We scroll just because. We binge shop online (maybe just me…), we watch a million shows on Netflix, we eat ALL the cookies/make constant trips just because. Although it’s not easy, I try to be in tune with myself and my needs by being present, and asking myself WHY. Why are you going in the fridge again, Sherez? Are you hungry, or eating to eat? Why did you say yes to that Zoom hang out when you just spoke with that person two days ago (what could have possibly happened in two days during Covid LOL).
I do slip up, often, but I try my damn best. Trying helps me to make it through the hard days, and it makes the other days as close to normal as it’s gonna get, for now.
Any who, I hope this is able to help someone out there in the black void that is the internet.
Goodluck my friends! Sending back the love + light that I’ve received from so many of you. We’ll get through this, poco a poco, and we are in this together…… despite American society’s push for individualism (*cough, cough*).
Until the next one!
S.M.
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Surviving the pandemic hard days: Tips from me + the community It's August 7th and unfortunately, things have gotten exponentially worse.... in the U.S. because the rest of the world has generally gotten their shit together.
Well, well, well…
Guess who’s back after over a year of hiatus (currently barfing at all hiatuses as a socio-phonetician…)!
My friends and family know that these past 12 months have probably been the busiest months of my life. I was working through co-founding an organization, dissertating, taking classes, and more recently searching for a new job…. while also trying to exercise, cook, be a decent wife, daughter, sister, friend, cat/dog mom. The whole nine yards. So, it’s safe to say if it wasn’t a necessity, I pretty much wasn’t doing it. So clearly, blogging se fue a la mierda.
With all that said, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! I’ll be defending my dissertation mid-June, and moving to Erie, PA for a new job shortly after! I couldn’t be more excited, as I feel the faculty I’ve met so far is pretty kick-ass, and I’m stoked to be able to grow as an educator and researcher. A bish can spread her wings and FLY!
I haven’t announced the good news through a classic social media post because it feels shady af since people are literally dying, losing their jobs, and suffering on a daily basis as we try to navigate this new way of life, while Rona’s out here runnin’ rampant.
Speaking of Rona, before I get any more sidetracked, since being quarantined beginning March 20th (or 44 days, or 1056 hours…. but who’s counting?), I’ve been thinking about my family a lot, particularly my dad. Living in NY and working in an Arab grocery store is a recipe for disaster, which has got my stress levels #allthewayup.
I call him daily to do a little check in, and recently, he’s started to use more Arabic with me… even sending me Arabic memes #mamaImadeit! It’s crazy how after spending 29 years on this planet, I’m FINALLY able to take part in that aspect of my dad’s culture. (Shout out to Dr. Zafer for really pushing me in Arabic this semester!)
Sin embargo, even though I can hold my own in Arabic, I’m far from native and even though it’s the native language of one of my parents, it’s my THIRD language! When I think about it, which I’ve been doing a lot lately since thinking about existential questions is the new dissertation procrastination technique, it actually makes me more confused when I try to “define” myself.
Most likely, if I have a kid, I won’t teach him/her Arabic. My husband and I will pass on Spanish, which will be hard since it’s not my native language, meaning that Arabic will pretty much die with me…
On my wedding day, my dad asked me “so, are you planning on changing your last name?” and I could see he was literally holding his breath as he waited for my response. When I told him no….. chacho, that sigh of relief he let out could literally be felt by all of my Sudanese ancestors LOL. But all jokes aside, it’s truly heartbreaking to think that with me, that cultural tie will die.
How do you pass on a culture that’s not truly yours? Identity is so complex, and even if I wanted to identify as Sudanese, I couldn’t. The moment another Arab hears my Arabic, it’s like …… “ohhhhhh so you’re American! I was confused because your last name is Mohamed” and then the “wait you’re not muslim…? But your dad is muslim sooo??” Literally, I’ve heard that at least 67 times.
At LEAST!
Let’s also not forget the fact that I didn’t visit Sudan until I was 18, and I’ve only been there twice. Let’s ALSOOOO not forget that I’m black lmao. Can’t really hide that one lol, and I could literally write a book on the complexities of being black, but for the sake of this post, I’m just gonna leave it at that.
Actually in Saudi Arabia
Literally, no caption needed.
To further complicate the identity mierda, I was also 18 the first time I went to Puerto Rico; but, I’ve been so many times that I’ve literally lost track. My husband’s Puerto Rican, I’ve been given an honorary Puerto Rican/Caribbean card by several Puerto Ricans, including my suegra. I speak Spanish fluently and have a slight Caribbean accent when doing so, I worship Marc Anthony and Hector Lavoe, my favorite dessert is flan, favorite music genere is probably reggaeton (#rachetontheinside)… así que….. What the heck am I?
Better question. Where is my honorary Arab card, because nobodyyyy has offered that up to me yet and I’m pretty sure a bish will be waiting on it until she dead dead.
How does one construct their identity, and what factors play a role in that construction? Is there some formula I can throw together that will give me my identity. Like, Flan de queso + Bad Bunny = Boricua, kinda? Is there a certain amount of times I need to go to Sudan before I’m accepted as a “true Sudanese?,” a certain amount of lexicon I need to acquire before I can claim that dialect of Arabic?
Classic.
Most days I’m black. Punto. But some days, I’m confused and unsure. My hispanic friends tell me I’m Puerto Rican. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not, but I find it so interesting that I can be completely accepted in that culture, but struggle to be accepted by those with whom I share heritage. I also think, since I basically just became a real adult, what type of identity/culture will I pass on to my potential kid… or maybe my 10 cats… It’s a toss up at this point.
First trip to PR with my favorite meerkats!
Processed with VSCO with a6 preset
At the end of the day, as I reflect and basically find no real answers lol, one thing I can say is that at least I know how to navigate so many spaces and cultures. I’m literally a freaking chameleon. There’s “yasss sis” black Sherez, “Hacho mano ehto e’ un palo” Caribbean Sherez, “ship ship wen?” sorta Arab Sherez, and even “Excellent! I can certainly have that to you by 5pm,” navigating-white-spaces Sherez. LOL Maybe that’s what I’ll be passing along. Chameleon training 101.
So anyways. Congrats! You’ve made it to the end of this stream of consciousness blog post. I guarantee this is not how my academic writing is LOL.
If YOU have any struggles, comments, insights, lo que sea, about identity, feel free to share! And share this post too lol. I’m tired of hearing about Rona. Let’s change it up and talk about some existential ish!
-Sherez ❤
Identity crisis... existential questions during cuarentena! Well, well, well... Guess who's back after over a year of hiatus (currently barfing at all hiatuses as a socio-phonetician...)!
Leiden, Netherlands: Conference, Stroop Waffles, and the Red Light District
Leiden, Netherlands: Conference, Stroop Waffles, and the Red Light District
What’s up buds?
At the beginning of January I traveled to Europe for a conference in Leiden, Netherlands. Like all of the other places I’ve been to in Europe so far (except Milan), it was lit. Cold AF, but lit nonetheless. My trip lasted exactly 6 days and 5 nights, and although it was mainly for work. I still managed to have a little fun.
Airbnb right by the train station and city center! Presen…
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New Year, New Resolutions... in February
New Year, New Resolutions… in February
Hey guys! I have been m.i.a. for a WHILE… I’m pretty sure I should start all of my blog posts with that line because it is so hard to write consistently when you are a graduate student. Every time I sit down to write a blog post, I start feeling guilty because I KNOW I have school work to do, or things to do around the house, etc. But this year, I’m really, like REALLY, determined to change that.…
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The Honeymoon: You Better Belize it!
The Honeymoon: You Better Belize it!
Hey Buds!
We got back about a week ago from our honeymoon in Belize and I’m still salty that it’s over. We had such an amazing time, which honestly surprised me because it was NOT our typical vacation. We are the type of couple who is broke AF, so we like to “take advantage” of every situation. For example, “We’re in Europe right now, might as well visit every single country during this 30 day…
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Healthy Living & Adulting.. Can they go together?
Healthy Living & Adulting.. Can they go together?
Hey buds!
Check me out consistently posting, and what not (yasss Sherez! Good Job!).
Anyways lol, I wanted to post a couple of tips I use to remain active and healthy during graduate school. But don’t worry, even if you’re not in grad school, these tips can still work for you!
During my undergrad, I was a Division I Track and Field athlete, so I lived an extremely active an healthy life.
Since…
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Un cafecito pá' cuando ... My 5 Fav Coffee Shop in Puerto Rico
Un cafecito pá’ cuando … My 5 Fav Coffee Shop in Puerto Rico
Hey buds!
If you follow me on instagram you probably guessed that I loveeee coffee. I mean, I do have an entire highlight dedicated to it on my page, and every time I drop by a coffee shop and they make me a delicious, creamy, aromatic latte or cappuccino, I just have to snap a pic LOL.
Interestingly enough, I didn’t start drinking coffee until I was 26 years old! I tried a cappuccino with…
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Who I am and Who I Want to be - Sherez Renee Mohamed
Who I am and Who I Want to be – Sherez Renee Mohamed
Last time I wrote was in March, but I’ve made a promise to write more faithfully starting today. It was a rough semester. I took my PhD exams and passed (cheaaa!) defended my prospectus and passed (hell chea!), survived a semester living with my sister, and I got married! Currently I’m in Puerto Rico collecting data for my thesis, but my mind is with my husband and eager to start the next chapter…
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3 Reasons Why You Should Learn Your Partner's Language
3 Reasons Why You Should Learn Your Partner’s Language
Helllooooo! I have been suuuuuper m.i.a., but that’s what happens when life hits (PhD preliminary exams, fiancé moving across the country, cohabiting with my sister and nephew, and much, much more)! I also took some time away to focus more on journaling and writing strictly for myself. It helps so much with my personal growth. (I’m actually thinking of writing a post about why I post haha) But…
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Travel with me!: A day trip to JAX
Travel with me!: A day trip to JAX
What’s up dudes! It’s been soooo long. Sorry about that. I’m sort of drowning in school work, trying to be a good global citizen, and also trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating less meat and exercising super consistently. I think there’s a meme about that somewhere… But anyways, since I technically should not be writing this and should be working on my school assignments, I thought I’d…
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Did you ever realize how much your body loves you? It’s always trying to keep you alive. It’s making sure you breathe while you sleep, stopping cuts from bleeding, fixing broken bones, finding ways to beat the illnesses that might get you. Your body literally loves you so much. It’s time you start loving it back.
Fuck. I needed this.
How to Not Die in a Long Distance Relationship
Hello again, friends. Starting Monday, your favorite blogger (aka me, if you were confused) will be entering into a year of long distance with my partner of six years. And naturally I’m freaking out and trying not to submerge myself into a deep depression lol. But as much as I don’t want him to go, we both would never hinder each other from great opportunities. So if that means that he gets a…
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New York!... No, not stupid NYC. Upstate, NY
New York!… No, not stupid NYC. Upstate, NY
This summer I traveled to my old stomping grounds in Upstate, NY, and after living in Florida for the past three years, I have to say it was great to be back. More than great actually. I definitely cried when I had to say goodbye and return to the devil’s ass crack known as Tallahassee, FL. So if you’re ever planning on visiting New York, consider visiting the lesser traveled Upstate area as…
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The Wedding Series: 1-The Guest List
The Wedding Series: 1-The Guest List
Hello again! As I mentioned in the last post, I got engaged! Since then, I’ve been trying to plan a destination wedding while also getting settled into our new house, while also driving 18 hours to upstate New York (with a dog and a cat), while also trying to meet the deadline to publish two articles. Safe to say my stress level has been a bit high. Just a bit. But one of the first things we did…
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So, have you guys started thinking about kids yet?: Why I will backhand the next person who asks
So, have you guys started thinking about kids yet?: Why I will backhand the next person who asks
Helloo again, world. I’m back from the shadows with another blog post. This past month and a half has been unbelievably dense (in a good way), for lack of a better word. For those of you who don’t know, I’m engaged *cough cough, finally*!! But my fiancé and I also purchased our first home! (A blog post on life updates is coming soon.) Never the freaking less, since my engagement and even sometime…
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4 Reasons Why You Should Kick a Guy to the Curb: I am not a man hater
4 Reasons Why You Should Kick a Guy to the Curb: I am not a man hater
Recent life events have caused me to think heavily about relationships, especially among younger women who may not know, just yet, who they are in this world. High school through the early 20s is such a vulnerable time in a girl’s life. Especially in this new day and of Instagram and social media. We are constantly exposed to the the pretty portion of people’s lives and it’s sometimes hard to see…
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