Gram Smoker's Dracula

leanna 👁️‍🗨️ 29 👁️‍🗨️ quirked up freaking it style👁️‍🗨️

[coffeefocusrat]

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[anglaised]

it is so annoying being so self aware about all my issues like okay what now girl

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[loveridden1999]

crossfaded somewhere between "there has to be more to life than this" and "every mundane thing is beautiful when you're with people you love"

[kosmogrl]

[cybergemini777]

[medievalthymes]

how it feels to read 85 pages of a book in one sitting

[dogpuppy]

[cheerfullycatholic]

When medicine is holding the migraine back but you can still kinda feel it in the distance waiting to return

[geniusoflove]

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

[proheromidoriyashouto]

the panties hit the floor

[geniusoflove]

you know it brother

[an-american-whore]

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

[geniusoflove]

you know what i wish you would tell me

[megafangirlofmanythings]

[wizardpostsdotorg]

*dying while our boobies are touching* ashes to ashes... bust to bust.....

[catmask]

youre making mommy want to smoke

[senshibignaturals]

There’s a cool trick you can do where you pour a shot and then add an expired antidepressant to it and it gets you super fucked up so you can save money when you go out for the night. In other news I just discovered that if you ask any man at a goth rave if you can bite him he will say yes. He thinks he’s getting laid but you can just bite him super hard and walk away. Life is full of beautiful moments

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[spidersinmysoup]

Spiritually my spirit is always smoking a cigarette but physically i am.not because hashatg smoking kills