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Cosmic Funnies
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
Kiana Khansmith
Product Placement
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Not today Justin
macklin celebrini has autism
NASA
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
RMH
noise dept.
taylor price
#extradirty
Origami Around
Cosimo Galluzzi
$LAYYYTER
PR's Tumblrdome
seen from Austria
seen from Finland
seen from Poland
seen from Germany
seen from Indonesia
seen from Germany
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
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seen from Netherlands
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@blackwidowcanliftmjolnir
Intro Post :>
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlternateSlug313/works
17yrs
Canadian
She/her, sapphic, ace
AuDHD
Special Interest: Marvel movies :3
Hyperfixation: Natasha Romanoff
Marvel Kinlist: Kate Bishop, Yelena Belova, Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker, Kamala Khan, Mantis
*The Avengers chillin in silence*
Natasha: *clutches her chest* Oh god… I think I’m dying
Clint: Take a deep breath, you’re having-
Natasha: No, no, it’s not a panic attack, I think I have brain cancer
Bruce: Okay now we’re confused
Tony: If you die from brain cancer, can I have your alcohol?
Natasha: I don’t see why not
Steve: Why… Do you have brain cancer?
Natasha: Brain damage of some kind. Maybe I’ve been drugged too many times and it finally caught up to me
Bruce: OKAY. WHAT IS GOING ON?
Natasha: I can’t remember the last suicidal thought I had. Like I haven’t had one in at least a WEEK!
Tony: *slow clap*
Clint: Yay! Mental health! Healing!
Natasha: No, this is weird… This feels wrong
Steve: Call me crazy, but I believe it’s a good thing you’re not having suicidal thoughts
Natasha: Mm-mm. I don’t like this. Uh, I want to kill myself!
Clint: Say it like you mean it
Natasha: I hate myself, I want to die
Clint: You can do better than that
Natasha: I want to take a knife and- Ohhh there, I just had one!
Clint: …
Bruce: …
Steve: …
Tony: If you die from suicide, can I still have your alcohol?
Natasha: Yup
would anyone be interested in a found family thunderbolts fic... lmk..
YESYESYESYESYES ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!
Natasha Romanoff mental health headcanons
- Depression
- Generalized anxiety
- RSD
- panic disorder
- insomnia
- PTSD/C-PTSD
- OCD
- DPDR
- Hypersexuality
- disorganized attachment style
Entering trigger warning territory ⚠️ SH/suicide⚠️
Headcanon Natasha is violently opposed to Santa Claus. VIOLENTLY. Every Christmas the Avengers have a debate over whether Santa Claus is a fun children’s legend or a creep. Natasha insists all the elves on the North Pole are children he’s kidnapped and enslaved. She’s compared Santa’s workshop to the Red Room multiple times. “Put Dreykov in a stupid hat, it’s the same thing!”
after we have sex i'm lying in your arms when i'm like "hey can i tell you something?" and you're like "sure" and you figure it's going to be a love confession or something like that, but then i grab your arms in a vice grip so tight my nails are digging into your skin and stare into your eyes with a haunted expression and say, with grave urgency and deadly seriousness, "i'm a bad person. i've done terrible things." then i go back to cuddling you like nothing ever happened
THIS IS 1000000% BLACKHILL
What’s wrong with her?
Has she *never* seen a baby before?
I need the universe where they never figure out time travel, and Scott is stuck as a baby, and all the Avengers have to accept half the universe is gone, and raise baby Scott as a family, and Natasha and Tony are alive
What’s wrong with her?
Has she *never* seen a baby before?
I aspire to have the fanart drawing capabilities of this theatre in British Columbia
Natasha would be so offended by those people who answer “personality” when asked ass or tits.
She’d be like “I HAVE PTSD AND PROBABLY SEVERAL OTHER UNDIAGNOSED DISORDERS AFFECTING MY PERSONALITY. MY ASS AND BREASTS ON THE OTHER HAND ARE AWESOME. APPRECIATE THEM.”
Wait a minute..... I CAN JUST SEND YOU SHITTTY ASKS NOW
Yes please 😍🙏
Gayyy gayyy homosexual. Gay. (Glad to see you've acclimated to tumblr quite well!)
GAY-some murder. Lesbian homicide victims found dead in their house
do you @blueofmariahillseyes take @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives?
do you @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir take @blueofmariahillseyes , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives
Yes I do!!!! :D
Why.... are you always up to weird freaky marriage shit /j /silly
Heyyy it’s been 3 years since my last marriage!
do you @blueofmariahillseyes take @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives?
do you @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir take @blueofmariahillseyes , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives
Yes I do!!!! :D
3rd time 😐
do you @reveuse-athalia take blueofmariahillseyes, natasha-can-wield-mjolnir and natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives?
and do you @natashas-version take blueofmariahillseyes, natasha-can-wield-mjolnir and reveuse-athalia to be your lawfully wedded wives?
Yessss I DO and I’ll DO them and Denise (Denise please I’m trying so hard with these puns)
do you @blueofmariahillseyes take @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives?
do you @natasha-can-wield-mjolnir take @blueofmariahillseyes , @reveuse-athalia and @natashas-version to be your lawfully wedded wives
Yes I do!!!! :D
BLACKHILL NEWS ANCHOR AU HEAR ME OUT
I'VE BEEN BINGING SNL AND I FOUND SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND I MUST SHARE MY VISION.
DENISE JONES (Scarlett Johansson) AND ROBIN SCHERBATSKY NEWS ANCHOR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird that I'm lwk down bad for Denise?
is it weird id be into her making horrible puns while in bed?
Nah fr like Denise is my TOP hear me out as she’s on top of me hearing me out
(Denise I tried. One chance, PLEASE.)
that was smooth.
my TOP hear me out is when the elavator has a female voice. like its saying "going down" like okay hahaha .... go down on me next time 👀
LMAOOO
Imagine a TV in your elevator so you can watch Channel 4 and listen to Denise make excited puns about tragedy the whole RIDE and then you get to pretend to RIDE Denise’s strap
pretend? oh no no no. im doing that shit fr in her bed.
her gasping as she says another great pun she thought of
hold on. headcannon. denise likes praise kink
Omg Denise definitely has a praise kink!!!
“He ate that!” Denise you can eat ME
(Side note but are we positive Denise isn’t the cannibal…? She looks guilty. Or maybe not guilty, but she looks like she’s having an “oh shit” moment. She either IS the cannibal or KNOWS the cannibal)
"🎶Take me to the river🎶"
well there is a river and its between my legs.
(she defo isnt the canibal but that look is very dissaproving mom. she probally witnessed it and scolded the person then went "boys will do weird boy things")
WAIT SO DENISE’S SON IS THE CANNIBAL OMG!!!!!
So Denise is married…. What if I PUNch her husband and steal her with a pun?
Ok I have more Denise headcanons now:
- Her son is a criminal who assaulted the woman on the train
- Denise’s husband blamed her for their son’s behavior, saying she was a bad mother and it was her fault for raising him wrong
- So when Denise found out her son was also a cannibal, she helped hide the evidence, especially from her husband because she knows if he finds out he’ll divorce her
- She’s also torn, because she’s a repressed lesbian, and thinks Susan (the other woman on the show) is really cute
- Now Denise is realizing she made a mistake, and wondering how to turn in her son for cannibalism without getting in trouble for hiding the evidence in the first place, and then plot how to win the divorce against her husband
CHARACTER BUILDING I LIKE ITTTT
i love it. absolutley. love. it.
okay my turn
-the murder-suicide said on the news was the ex husband and his mistress. she was gonna turn the son into police so the husband killed her then in guilthimself.
and denise "accidentally" enters susans chnage room on accident
BAHAHAHAHA YES.
Additionally, the woman who was assaulted on the train was a woman Denise was cheating on her husband with. Her son found out and killed her to keep their marriage together
NSFW Denise headcanons:
- She narrates sex in her news anchor voice, puns included obviously
- She sings the opening channel 4 theme song during foreplay, and the closing channel 4 theme song during afterplay
yesssss
I kinda don’t have any sfw ideas for her anymore other than
She is really into foreplay. She likes lots of suspense. And she’s humming the news 4 whatever song.
Once her and Susan develop dealings, one of them is afraid to be public but for adrenaline they like to fuck in the closet or maybe hair and makeup room before recording
and a still stand by if, Denise has a praise kink
Susan’s the one who’s afraid to be public
ONG I WAS LEANING TOWARDS THAT. Susan probally has internalized homophobia while even if Denise is a repressed lesbian, she is kinda proud of it. Once her and Susan start hooking up Denise wants to move really fast while Susan is still so unsure .
(God we should be like improv people or smt like from on snl skit we are creating cinema)
YESSSS.
Eventually Denise pushes too hard and Susan breaks up with her. At the same time, Channel 4 hires a new news anchor…
YES YES YES. (What’s cobie’s character name?)
anygays, Denice goes back onto the night news where she keeps making puns and everything but she is very upset still and maybe one day she starts crying on camera when the cannibal (her son) was caught and is facing charges…..
Guys imagine Denise and Robin at the end of time reporting on all the variants
"Who would fall for that? Spider-Man still distraught over the death of his girlfriend, Gwen Stacy."
"Denise what the fuck?"
"What the fuck...? ME. Channel 4 anchors Denise Jones and Robin Scherbatsky take a break to have sex. Stay tuned, we'll be with you after the break."
winter widow in every universe
I feel like Robin and Denice’s relationship will go very similar to how Natasha and Maria’s go. They both love eachother but they each have baggage.
now what do we that Maria’s emotional baggage would look like?
Well that’s Robin from How I Met Your Mother… So pretty much daddy issues and Canada 😃
yeah I’ve heard of that but havnt watched 😑
so Denice and robin long distance lots?
“Denice your on air in five.”
“FUCK OFF IM TRYNA TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND OVER HERE AND SHES FROM CANADA”
(I could imagine them having phone sex)
Robin lives in New York dwdw she’s mastered the possimpible (not a typo) and has a visa
BLACKHILL NEWS ANCHOR AU HEAR ME OUT
I'VE BEEN BINGING SNL AND I FOUND SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND I MUST SHARE MY VISION.
DENISE JONES (Scarlett Johansson) AND ROBIN SCHERBATSKY NEWS ANCHOR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird that I'm lwk down bad for Denise?
is it weird id be into her making horrible puns while in bed?
Nah fr like Denise is my TOP hear me out as she’s on top of me hearing me out
(Denise I tried. One chance, PLEASE.)
that was smooth.
my TOP hear me out is when the elavator has a female voice. like its saying "going down" like okay hahaha .... go down on me next time 👀
LMAOOO
Imagine a TV in your elevator so you can watch Channel 4 and listen to Denise make excited puns about tragedy the whole RIDE and then you get to pretend to RIDE Denise’s strap
pretend? oh no no no. im doing that shit fr in her bed.
her gasping as she says another great pun she thought of
hold on. headcannon. denise likes praise kink
Omg Denise definitely has a praise kink!!!
“He ate that!” Denise you can eat ME
(Side note but are we positive Denise isn’t the cannibal…? She looks guilty. Or maybe not guilty, but she looks like she’s having an “oh shit” moment. She either IS the cannibal or KNOWS the cannibal)
"🎶Take me to the river🎶"
well there is a river and its between my legs.
(she defo isnt the canibal but that look is very dissaproving mom. she probally witnessed it and scolded the person then went "boys will do weird boy things")
WAIT SO DENISE’S SON IS THE CANNIBAL OMG!!!!!
So Denise is married…. What if I PUNch her husband and steal her with a pun?
Ok I have more Denise headcanons now:
- Her son is a criminal who assaulted the woman on the train
- Denise’s husband blamed her for their son’s behavior, saying she was a bad mother and it was her fault for raising him wrong
- So when Denise found out her son was also a cannibal, she helped hide the evidence, especially from her husband because she knows if he finds out he’ll divorce her
- She’s also torn, because she’s a repressed lesbian, and thinks Susan (the other woman on the show) is really cute
- Now Denise is realizing she made a mistake, and wondering how to turn in her son for cannibalism without getting in trouble for hiding the evidence in the first place, and then plot how to win the divorce against her husband
CHARACTER BUILDING I LIKE ITTTT
i love it. absolutley. love. it.
okay my turn
-the murder-suicide said on the news was the ex husband and his mistress. she was gonna turn the son into police so the husband killed her then in guilthimself.
and denise "accidentally" enters susans chnage room on accident
BAHAHAHAHA YES.
Additionally, the woman who was assaulted on the train was a woman Denise was cheating on her husband with. Her son found out and killed her to keep their marriage together
NSFW Denise headcanons:
- She narrates sex in her news anchor voice, puns included obviously
- She sings the opening channel 4 theme song during foreplay, and the closing channel 4 theme song during afterplay
yesssss
I kinda don’t have any sfw ideas for her anymore other than
She is really into foreplay. She likes lots of suspense. And she’s humming the news 4 whatever song.
Once her and Susan develop dealings, one of them is afraid to be public but for adrenaline they like to fuck in the closet or maybe hair and makeup room before recording
and a still stand by if, Denise has a praise kink
Susan’s the one who’s afraid to be public
ONG I WAS LEANING TOWARDS THAT. Susan probally has internalized homophobia while even if Denise is a repressed lesbian, she is kinda proud of it. Once her and Susan start hooking up Denise wants to move really fast while Susan is still so unsure .
(God we should be like improv people or smt like from on snl skit we are creating cinema)
YESSSS.
Eventually Denise pushes too hard and Susan breaks up with her. At the same time, Channel 4 hires a new news anchor…
YES YES YES. (What’s cobie’s character name?)
anygays, Denice goes back onto the night news where she keeps making puns and everything but she is very upset still and maybe one day she starts crying on camera when the cannibal (her son) was caught and is facing charges…..
Guys imagine Denise and Robin at the end of time reporting on all the variants
"Who would fall for that? Spider-Man still distraught over the death of his girlfriend, Gwen Stacy."
"Denise what the fuck?"
"What the fuck...? ME. Channel 4 anchors Denise Jones and Robin Scherbatsky take a break to have sex. Stay tuned, we'll be with you after the break."
winter widow in every universe
I feel like Robin and Denice’s relationship will go very similar to how Natasha and Maria’s go. They both love eachother but they each have baggage.
now what do we that Maria’s emotional baggage would look like?
Well that’s Robin from How I Met Your Mother… So pretty much daddy issues and Canada 😃
yeah I’ve heard of that but havnt watched 😑
so Denice and robin long distance lots?
“Denice your on air in five.”
“FUCK OFF IM TRYNA TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND OVER HERE AND SHES FROM CANADA”
(I could imagine them having phone sex)
Robin lives in New York dwdw she’s mastered the possimpible (not a typo) and has a visa
