I'd say I was wrong just to fill the spaces

Blake Newman. 18. Straight. Human. Born in Roslindale. Playful. Exuberant. Outgoing. Loudmouthed. Bright. Abused. Guarded. Loyal. Cheeky. Musical. Tender. Animal lover. Warm hearted. Sweet. Incongruous. Energetic.

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Vanessa settled against the dresser, forcing herself to relax and allow a hair’s breadth of space between the two of them. She knew how she felt — desperate, and needy, and more than a little afraid but too uncertain. Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck absentmindedly, reminded of the small things about him she loved. “What about…” she whispered, voice catching for a moment as she went into dangerous territory. “What about working for my family again?”

She didn’t want to think about Charlotte right now, about how she had missed another birthday. There was joy in her heart now that Blake was back, she didn’t want to harm it with such sadness… Of course, the question that she had asked evoked an unparalleled feeling of dread. “An asylum?” she remained whispering, her voice catching. “Oh, baby.” Her arms wound around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

[blake--newman]

Blake's previous statement, his confession to where he had been, seemed like the best explanation as to why he would simply be out of luck when it came to working with Charlotte again. Though he knew he was sound of mind, and safe enough to work with children, it wasn't going to be easy for him to get back into that line of work again. "It wasn't as bad as it sounds." Blake barely whispered as he pressed his face into the crook of her neck and snaked an arm around her waist. But it was, Asylum's were grim and Blake as gentle and kind as he was, it hadn't been easy. "I played by the rules, I got out pretty quickly. It was only a few months. I'm back now." That place had left it's scars, but he was strong, Vanessa of all people knew that.

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

She felt different. There was a hollow in her, slowly being poured into by his presence. The hole had not completely been filled, but it lessened the more she realized he was really here. He was here. She kept her legs tight around his waist, allowing him to hold her up. It was easier to wrap her legs around his waist than stand with the way they felt like they would give out.

She pulled back only slightly to gaze down at him, tenderly holding his face in her hands. She studied the changes, the similarities and how he was purely her Blake. “Put a home in a dead man’s name?” She whispered, unable to help the scowl curling her lips. “I just don’t want them to take you away again… Blake, where did they take you?”

[blake--newman]

"No, not a dead man's name." Blake gave out a heavy sigh but remained smiling as he moved to rest Vanessa's rear on the dresser and press his forehead against hers. "Danny always said he would help me out with money. We could get a place, I'll have it under my name, I'll get a job in the town... the coffee shop maybe. I could go back there. Or I could learn to tattoo, I can become a tattoo artist and start that way."  He'd begun to run away with his thoughts, wondering all the new possibilities that could be in this new life he was going to have with Vanessa and then she reminded him. Where they took him. It had been hell, that was the only way he could describe it. "An Asylum..."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Vanessa’s biggest fear was that if she had ever seen him again, that the connection between them would sever. The ability to touch him, to hold him like this, would disappear. It was a relief to feel the heat of his nearness warm her, banishing the icy shards that had rooted themselves in her heart for so long. She breathed in the subtle scent of Blake, committing everything to memory — just in case, because she now knew that no future was cemented in stone.

His words brought her back to reality, reminded her of the direness of their situation. Panic immediately seized her heart. They were going to take him again, and she wasn’t sure she could lose him a second time. That was why she had always been so afraid to garner knowledge on Charlotte, because loosing someone twice was always too much for her. She was selfish, so damn selfish that she deserved this pain, she deserved this penance.

Her hands slid down from his shoulders to his chest, her hazel eyes peering up into his darker hues. When she was around him, breathing became habitual, and she felt it stick in her throat. “Blake, I can’t go any where else. I can’t leave.” She swallowed, fighting against the sobs she had only just defeated, “This is my cage, and this is where they’ll look for you first. Nowhere… Nowhere with me is safe.”

[blake--newman]

The worry in her tone was too much for Blake to handle, he held his arms tighter around the girl and lifted her with ease. He wrapped Vanessa's legs around his waist and carried her around like she weighed virtually nothing.  With his face pressed into the crook of her neck, he inhaled the sweet scent of her that was barely there. If he had been anyone else, they would have said Vanessa had no scent, she was a ghost, she was dead but Blake knew much better than that. And maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, making him believe that she was more than that but it was good enough. "This isn't your cage. This is your town." Blake told her as his tone turned serious, "And I can talk to Danny, get us a place... I won't ever have to leave you."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Tears burned Vanessa’s lashes as she held on to him, pressing the soft lines of her body against his toned ones. He felt like coming home, he felt like Heaven bottled into this perfect incarnation of a boy. A large part of Vanessa still wasn’t sure that this was Blake, her jester. She had had these illusions before but never as real as this.

Her sobs were forced from her, racking her shoulders even as she held on to him for dear life. She was just so… Relieved. She knew what he had promised but it had simply been so long. There was one thing she needed to be assured. 

She grasped one hand in his hair, her fingers skimming along the scratchy texture of his cheeks as she reached upwards. Her mouth was pressed against his so sweetly, so serenely, that Vanessa was certain she melted into him as she kissed.

[blake--newman]

Blake could hear her crying, he could feel the taint of her tears stain her cheeks and taste them on her lips. He could only mutter his apologies to her lips and hold her face in his hands. His thumbs brushed away whatever he could without opening his eyes. He felt like he'd been waiting a life time to hold her in his arms again and now finally his world was at peace. He never imagined he could love someone as deeply as he loved Vanessa, his life had been tarnished and yet somehow she had managed to piece him back together and give him back that hope.  "My love..." the male crooned as he finally pulled from the delicacy of their lip lock. "I was so scared you wouldn't be here, I was so scared I'd never see you again. We have to leave, or find somewhere we can hide. They can't find me again."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

For so long Vanessa had not needed to be corporeal. There was nothing for her to bother with any more. It took up less energy to be what she truly was — a ghost, undeserving of being seen by others. She felt herself grow firmer, the hazy edges of her being solidifying. 

He was there. Her Blake, the one who she had missed to the bottom of her core. He had been the last bit of beauty in an otherwise damned wasteland, and then gone… But now he was here. Or perhaps it was another illusion. 

To make sure she was not dreaming, she crawled to her hands and knees on the bed. One foot tested the strength of the floorboards, if they would hold her. Except she was floating, practically weightless as she launched herself across the room and hurtled towards Blake. There were tears on her cheeks as she collided, no words but an overwhelming sense of relief.

[blake--newman]

She was there, she was actually there. He felt guilty for leaving her, for letting her become like this. Though, even in her despair she looked beautiful and Blake knew that he could fix this, he could fix all of the pain she was feeling with just one action. He held her and vowed to never let her go. He muttered promises of them finding a spot in the facility that no one would find, a place where they could gather whatever they could, or move to the abandoned home where he'd once built her a beach. Anything, he swore they would be together. Even if he had to ask Danny for money, he would make this new life happen. "I'm here... I'm right here baby, I'm sorry. I always said I would come back for you."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

For so long Vanessa had been tormented by mind tricks, illusions of what used to be. She often heard Blake’s voice whispered in the walls in her bleakest moments, when things were the worst. Her eyes were closed, her face pressed deeply into the pillow when the sound came again — V. A question that she had no answer for because she did not deserve one.

The months had been spent in reflection. On how selfish she was, on how she was stuck and why, and a myriad of other things. After all she had spent time in this facility when it was so densely populated and now… There was no one. Of course she could have gone to town, watched people from afar and pretended that she was a part of it all. 

The problem was things were different now. She had lost so much, she had loved so intensely. Now there was emptiness. She had seen the darker spirits more and more, creeping along the outskirts but threatening to come closer. They wanted Vanessa, they wanted to feed on her sadness. And she was so close to giving in.

So when she lifted her head from the pillow, readjusting herself, she wasn’t sure what she was seeing. The boy in the doorway matched her memories, if not a little rougher around the edges. When she thought of Blake she pictured him in the way she saw him last. This Blake was not the one from her fantasies, there was no beautiful glow around his edges of salvation. She pushed herself upwards on her hands, hair disheveled in her face. “Blake?” Her voice was hoarse and strained with disuse. “Is this real?”

[blake--newman]

With the pain swelling in his chest of the lingering fear that she had in fact gone, perhaps passed over and he hadn't even been given the chance to say goodbye. It was selfish of him, selfish to hope that she was still here. They were both selfish in a way, their love was doomed and yet still the pair had refused to give up on one another.  He had fallen madly and deeply in love with the only thing keeping him alive and she had fallen for the anchor that kept her connected to the real world.  Her voice drew him forward, though he still could not see her yet. It was just a voice but she had faded. Blake knew she was there, but assumed that she, as most of the other ghosts here were hiding. And then slowly, as beautiful as a mirage in a desert, she appeared. "Vanessa..." breathed the male, his lungs filling with air and his chest eased to a state of relief. 

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

If she had been alive, her hair would have grown three inches — the precise length needed to begin it’s curls at the ends, so akin to her daughter’s. If she had been alive, she wouldn’t be stuck in this building with memories that made her want to blink out of existence. If she had been alive she would have ended it by this point…

If she had been alive, she would have gone with him.

The last time Vanessa had seen Blake, her heart had gone with him. She held on to him in his bedroom, her arms coiled protectively around his head as the authorities burst into the room. Tears streamed down her face as she screamed don’t take him, you can’t have him. The only sign of her presence was the way the papers fluttered ever so softly against the wall. All the police saw was a young man, huddled and cold on a bed stripped of blankets. They didn’t see the ethereal girl trying to warm him, trying to sustain him. And they didn’t see that she knew she needed to give him up, but was too selfish to let go.

It had been so easy for them to pull Blake from the ghostly Vanessa’s arms, and in the months that followed time had simply stopped. The correctional facility lay dormant, and Vanessa perpetually felt as vacant as the building. She had had her brief glimpse of happiness, her second life, her taste of Heaven. And now, laying curled in fetal position with her face pressed into a pillow that had long since ceased giving off the faint scent of Blake, she was in Hell.

[blake--newman]

In a short period of time, Blake had lost his mind. As Havenwood fell apart around them, Blake became fearful for two things; being parted from Vanessa and being sent back 'home'. It had all happened so quickly, the way his world crumbled around him and damned him back to a life of abuse.  But he needed not worry about that, for the scene he displayed when they pulled him from Vanessa was enough to have him declared insane. That day, he'd screamed to be left with her, with his girl and left alone. He didn't want to leave, he couldn't leave, without him she would cease to exist. Without Havenwood, Vanessa, Eva, Danny and all his other ghostly friends would cease to exist. He needed them just as much as they needed him. It was heartbreaking, but Blake was perfectly sane and anyone that had spent enough time in Havenwood would have understood his pleas.  He was discharged a few months later, knowing that the only way to get out was to deny that the ghosts existed and pretend there was no such things living inside those now hollow walls. It didn't take him long to make his way back to the facility, the only thing on his mind was the chance to see Vanessa. He find some way to make Charlotte's grandparents trust him again, find some way to get back into her life so that Vanessa could have that little extra bit of peace in her undead life.  His first stop was his room, hoping that Vanessa hadn't yet given up hope on him. He looked ragged, facial hair sprouting from his cheeks and chin and his hair now an unruly mess. He knew he should have cleaned himself up before coming here, but he had been determined to find her. "V?" croaked the boy who was unable to see her laying there in the bed.

[o-dylanstiles]

[fenixsmind-blog]

"I just hope she’s somewhere safe.. And happy…"

[blake--newman]

"You know Eva, she would be. But she'd also miss you terribly."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Has she managed chopsticks yet, or am I dreaming too much for my little Beethoven? Y’know, I used to have these horrible nightmares where I couldn’t get her to eat her vegetables when she got older. Then they would leap off of her plate and eat me for being a bad mother… At least she’s getting fruits. Maybe vegetables will come later.

Am I bad if lately I catch myself wondering what it would have been like if it had been… You I met at that party, not Jace? By some twist of fate?

[blake--newman]

I think that Jace was an amazing father, when he was able to be. I think the only thing that would have changed, would have been that I would never have let you go. And our sex would have been 100 times better.

[fenixsmind-blog]

"Oh.. I’m happy you too still have each other at least.." He smiled trying not to sound jealous, he hadn’t seen Eva in over a month and he had been wanting to see her… To hold her just one more time, but every time he would want to hold her just one more time 

[blake--newman]

"She will come back, we have to have faith that she will come back Fenix... she loves you, I know that much."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Yeah? And how’s she doing… Please, tell me everything I’m missing. Let me quite literally live vicariously through you.

[blake--newman]

She's doing great, V. She's desperate to get on that piano so I always let her play with the keys when I get up there. She's currently obsessed with 'Beauty and The Beast' so she has that and 'Tangled' on constant replay. She still hates broccoli, no matter how hard your mother and I try to hide it in her food, she always manages to find it so we've given up on that. And her favourite juice of the week is peach.

[fenixsmind-blog]

"Well considering we.. We love people on the other side.." He mumbled "It is partly selfish of us I suppose.. Have you not seen Vanessa?" 

[blake--newman]

"Only recently have I seen Vanessa, it was hard being without her."

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

But it’s my favorite bum in the whole world. I missed you too, I’m sorry being a ghost sometimes means playing the disappearing act. Though I hope you kept busy without me.

[blake--newman]

It was a struggle, but I managed to survive. I got to hang out with Lottie some more during that time.

[isalatini]

[fenixsmind-blog]

"I.. I didn’t think about that…"

[blake--newman]

"Would it be selfish of me to hope that they didn't?"

[vanessa-notfrom-cleveland-blog]

Oooh, that sounds like a cute idea. Here, babe. [She begins to put singles in his back pockets, giggling as she did so]

[blake--newman]

No pinching! [laughs and turns back round to face her] I missed you.