Blaklee A

longest fast: 214 hour ugw: 100 5’6” 21

[blakleeautumn]

I had I dream that I binged and it felt so real 😭 I woke up and was so mad at myself and then I realized it was just a dream. I was still paranoid though and weighed myself and thankfully I lost 4lbs overnight. I’m currently around 3 days into another water fast and I literally I ruined it.

[grlsgen]

food doesn’t even feel like something i need to have to live anymore. like it just feels like a compulsion or a bad habit i need to break. something i need to do around other people to fit in… it’s so weird feeling this way

[tini-er]

I want "you're so skinny" instead of "no you're not fat"

[losingnotgaining]

YES MAAM THIS IS WHAT WE WANT ✨😌

[skinnyisprettyxo]

Eating disorders are kinda the most fucked up mental illness bc you actually want it to get worse

[bunnysims3]

Even if you don’t, you do

[blakleeautumn]

Yesterday was rough. I probably should have eaten before work but I couldn’t bring myself to I worked from 7:30am-10:30pm with literally nothing not even water. By the time I got home I was so exhausted and so dizzy I could barely stand. I decided to actually try and eat what my mom cooked for me instead of ch/sp. I barely ate a fourth of what she cooked before my stomach was in so much pain. I could barely stand in the shower afterwards and I honestly thought I was going to end up in the hospital. I kept waking up in the night still in pain and extremely dizzy that any ounce of light I seen hurt so bad. I finally managed to sleep for a couple of hours and I feel okay now. This sounds really terrible considering the circumstances but I still managed to lose another 2lbs even though I ate and I’m happy even though I was in so much pain last night.... isn’t that just sick. I think this might actually be the worst me “ed” has been in a really long time.

[blakleeautumn]

Update Possible TW

So I ended up ch/sp if you know you know. Honestly not feeling that great but the damage is done I guess. Depending on how I feel in the am I might do it again before work idkk

[blakleeautumn]

Possible TW

I think im gonna break my fast at 4 days (96 hours) . I really don’t want to but I don’t want to possibly pass out on the first day and end up harming innocent people. I think I’m just gonna purge - even though it hurts like hell - what I eat bc I really don’t want to mess up my progress. Or maybe I’ll just wait and eat something in the morning idk.... this shit really sucks man

[blakleeautumn]

I need some advice.

I start my second job tomorrow and it’s as a delivery driver. I’m currently 91 hours in on my current fast and I don’t know if I should eat something since im going to be behind the wheel and lifting at most 50lb boxes even though I feel okay should I eat something? I really dont want to but idk what to do any advise??

[blakleeautumn]

Update I didn’t binge and my fast is still going strong :)

[blakleeautumn]

I reallly want to binge right now. I have a plate of food just sitting in my face that I have to pretend to eat so my mom doesn’t get suspicious like she use to. It’s not even good food either I just need to stop being fat and not eat. I’ve gone 9 days with only water I can get past this urge.

[blakleeautumn]

I’ve lost 12lbs in the last 6 six days. Fingers crossed that I don’t end up sabotaging myself like I usually do.

I’m currently at hour 62 of my fast which isnt that great for me considering I’ve done 214 hours before.

[painfu1lythin]

two weeks to feel it

four weeks to see it

eight weeks to hear it

keep it up

[skiinnyloser]

me as a kid: i cant wait to live alone so i can buy a whole bunch of sweets n eat whatever i want (:

me now: i cant wait to live alone so i can starve without anyone noticing (:

[baawri]

[onmywaythin]

This goes though my head every time I eat in front of people

[thxndream]

that’s actually SO sad

[blakleeautumn]

Reblogging once again bc this will never not be true

[blakleeautumn]

Possible TW

So today was a bad day. I had no choice but to break my fast at 68 hours. I pretty much binged and had 2,268 calories. I literally want to cry. The only good things that came out of tonight were that I won $33 and I still drank 3+ liters of water. But my fat ass just couldn’t stop shoveling food. Really want to purge right now but people in my house are still up.

[blakleeautumn]

possible TW

Anyone else nervous about today? I have to go to 2 separate dinners today. There’s no way I can skip out on eating and I can’t purge because there’s going to be to many people around 🙃

[skinny-little-secret]

Being thin may not solve all my problems but I’ll feel a hell lot better facing the rest of them with collar bones, a flat stomach and skinny legs.

[blakleeautumn]

THIS!