black-aro-culture-is

the bg is collards greens main: @rusababy

[blkaroculture]

Welcome to Black Aro Culture .

Who am I ??:

My name is Rusa! I’m…

16 years old

African American

Lesbian oriented aroace

Nonbinary (they/them)

a lover of anything black

@rusababy

What is this for ?

This a blog similar to @black-ace-culture-is and @aro-culture-is as that it focus on black aromantic experiences startin with the prompt “Black aro culture is …. blasé blasé blasé.”

Even though this blog centered ‘round African American culture (as per the collard green bg photo LMAO), any and all black aro people from other countries and cultures is not only allowed to sumbit asks, but actively encouraged to submit!

There is no DNI or DNF for this blog, white people are allowed to follow and interact but keep in mind that whenever i post i will not be centering you.

Rules for submitting:

Keep posts focused on both black AND aro experiences, no one or the other.

No exclusively asexual asks, this an aro focused blog. Black aroace asks though is accepted.

Mentions of sex is allowed, just nothin too detailed but you know that alr.

No hateful asks or asks that try to ragebait.

No discourse.

Can be serious or unserious.

Can have more specific asks like “Black demiro culture is…” “Black aroallo culture is…” blasé blasé blasé.

What’s with the rabbit ???

usagi my pookie… the goat… my favorite chiikawa character… <3333

[kittyking445]

HAPPY PRIDE to Black Aros on this site btw. Whether ur Aroallo aroace non-SAM loveless etc I hope your pride month is a good one

[aromantic-flag-survey]

Hello aros of tumblr!

If you happen to be aro and ace, you may have seen a new ace flag floating around:

This was made by Instagram Black ace activist _aceingrace_ (see their profile here). The yellow stripe specifically stands for intersectionality and multiculturalism (plus joy), something that I think would be a nice addition to the aromantic flag (or any flag that doesn't have that, for that matter).

If you're wondering what was wrong with the original flag, it's the white stripe, which stood for "allosexual partners and allies", something that didn't sit right with many aces for obvious reasons.

Something similar is going on with the white stripe in the aro flag: it's defined as such:

the ‘platonic’ stripe - friendship/platonic and aesthetic attraction/queerplatonic relationships/family, the importance and validity of all non-romantic relationships and feelings and non-romantic forms of love etc.

That doesn't sit right with me as, without any shoutout specifying it's not a universal aro value and experience, it leaves aplatonic and loveless aroa estranged from their own flag.

So I've made an attempt at a new aro flag. Here it is:

I wanted it to match the new ace flag so we finally have the same amount of stripes!

It is not meant to replace the original aro flag, but rather be displayed alongside it for those who find it meaningful.

I just need the community's feedback on what meanings to assign to each stripe! Please, if you're aro-spec, take a couple minutes to fill in the form.

If you're an ally please please please spread this around!

Aromantic flag survey

Hello, thank you for checking out this form! This is a survey to assign meanings to a new aromantic flag inspired by Instagram Black ace ac

Tagging some blogs for reach, please ask if you'd like to be removed!

@aromanticofficial @aroworlds @aromantic-official @our-aro-experience @our-arospec-experience @our-aroace-experience @aroallo-culture-is-archive @arospecawarenessweek @aro-polls @aro-and-trans-thoughts @aroaceqoutes @alloaroworlds @aro-culture-is @aroapl @aro-positivity @aro-pride-stuff @loveless-aro-culture-is @lovequeerblog @lovequeers @aspecpplarebeautiful @aspecpolls @a-spec-unity-blog @a-spec-community-issues @a-spec-tacular @aroacesafeplaceforall @our-queer-experience @queer-polls

Thank you!

[debthedemi]

A review of pink stripe from a black aroace lesbian's perspective.

an indirect celebration that I survived my ap macroeconomics exam today!

Everyone's just complaining about the pink stripe. Someone finally offered a solution, and of course, it's us. 🤌🏾

[blkaroculture]

I made this! Cause the crit on the pink stripe is needed! Just without the vitriol toward black people that white people can’t seem to live without ig…

[nostalgicmermaaiid]

Black indie animated projects that you should check out!

I thought I’d share the ones i’ve seen and link the channels in light of recent events. beating myself up for not having done this sooner tbh

Wheels and Roses - roller derby & magical girls!

The Three Tomes - a vampire love story

DizzyCat - slice of life adventures of 2 cat siblings

Crocodile Dance - a thriller combining myth and Afrofuturism

Furious and Fat Cat - comedy about 2 childhood friends who reunite as roommates

The Ebony Witch - disney/don bluth inspired fantasy series

I Don’t Want To Be A Magical Girl - yall probably know this one but I’m putting it here anyway

Please reblog with any that I missed!

[mossy-aro]

also and this might be a controversial take but if you are someone who actively avoids engaging with the aro/ace community, refuses identification with aro/ace labels, and insists that aro/ace frameworks of understanding are something that does not apply to your life in a useful way, it is maybe not your place to come online and insist that actually your opinion on aro/ace community issues should be heard with just as much validity as everyone else’s. and this isn’t identity policing, but at a certain point you have to acknowledge and accept that perhaps qualifying yourself on the grounds of being “technically asexual” isn’t actually enough to give you a deep understanding of community issues or experiences that do not pertain to your own anecdotal ones. and its incredibly arrogant!

[blkaroculture]

I have good news, and I have bad news. Contrary to what ppl usually do, I’ll start with the bad news first.

The bad news, is that black aro culture will no longer be accepting tumblr submissions. I use tumblr on the website through my phone, and it’d waaaay too easy to forget abt it’s existence. I also feel like, as a black socialist, i feel like despite the beautiful black community that’s here i can’t stand white aro tumblr at times. And with it being so white it’s hard to feel like i actually have a culture i can really interact with. The good news, is that this is not the end of black aro culture. Because…..

Check out the Black Aros Group community on Discord - hang out with 5 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

black aro culture is moving to discord!!!

Yep, that’s right! Our little community will be here and much closer together. You can still post tumblr like anon submissions through the confessions bot in the #black-aro-culture-is channel!!

The only requirements is that you are 16 years old or older, black or mixed with black, and aromantic/arospec! I intend the server also to be aroallo friendly the best I can!

I will probably still interact with other posts, and post the last remaining submissions in my inbox, but after that, that’s it.

I hope y’all understand and are excited for this change as I am. Let’s build more community together <3

[arospec-acespec]

hey. you. yeah you.

there is about a billion ways to love or not love. you can do that. you can do that and still be a person.

you dont have to love the way your parents, friends, teachers, classmates, coworkers, bosses, peers do. you dont have to love at all.

you're still you. and that's beautiful.

[rusababy]

Queerplatonic or alterous? A black aroace lesbian's POV

I actually am quite fond of talking about unpopular shit.

Two essays in one week! Holy shit my fingers is wore out!!

I’m not entirely sure if this is an actual issue (idgaf if it isn’t), but! I think this really put a lot of my personal thoughts into.

Idk hope you like it!!

[objectophiliac]

romance isn’t as well-defined (or even consensual) as people make it out to be. you can very much be coerced or forced into a romantic relationship, or even be in a romantic relationship without your knowledge.

unconsensual romance is also used as a tool of correction by many. aromantics are often forced into romantic relationships in an attempt to “fix” them, lesbians are often forced into romantic relationships with men in an attempt to “fix” them, trans people are often forced into romantic relationships in an attempt to “fix” them (usually by trying to make them “return” to cisheterosexuality).

not to mention how men will force women (especially trans women) into romantic relationships simply because they feel entitled to them, and white people will do the exact same thing with racialised people.

i have met so many people who were coerced, manipulated, forced, or threatened into a romantic relationship, yet nobody batted an eye because, if you’re in a romantic relationship, it must be Mutual And Consensual. romance is uniquely good and beneficial to everyone, right? How Can Good Thing™️ Be Bad?

i don’t even think those can be called romantic relationships due to them being unconsensual (akin to how ‘unconsensual sex’ is an oxymoron, that’s called rape), but there’s no word to describe that yet, and they’re unfortunately considered genuine romantic relationships nonetheless.

we need to start making room for discussions about romantic violence (is that a term? well, it is now!).

although most people recognize that violence can occur within romantic relationships, many fail to recognize that romance can BE the violence itself.

[sternenschaukler]

Why is it that every time the repulsed aspecs are having a conversation, there is always someone who feels the need to cut in and "helpfully" point out that there is a spectrum.

I mean yeah obviously? We're all aspecs here. We already know. So why do you feel the need to mention "actually, not all of us are like that! Some of us can still conform to society's expectations in that way!"

Not everything is about you. You don't need to butt in to point out "hey this conversation isn't about me, but I exist, so stop erasing me!" Our community members already know you exist, so you're really only mentioning that to some allo's benefit. And it always sounds annoying and invalidating, with a hint of "Don't worry dear allo-aphobes, in case you've stumbled into our safe space and are reading this. Some of us are still normal-ish in that way."

[tinstol]

Asexuals and aromantic should be allowed to discuss how society is hyper focused on sex and romance to people’s detriment without being accused of being homophobic

[tinstol]

Please read the damn room

[rusababy]

The need to constantly tone police and course correct aspec people when we literally just speaking is a form of aphobia no one can convince me otherwise… aspec people do it to they own too!! you can’t even say attribute not liking nor wanting sex and/or romance without someone mentioning the spectrum. to explain your own damn sexuality. nigga this my side of the spectrum gtfo!

[blkaroculture]

Black aro culture is deadass wanting to talk to allos like they talk to us

“Are you sure you want a partner? and kids? how will you have peace and quiet? don’t you want peace and quiet? everyone wants peace and quiet 🥺”

then it’s offensive when we do it towards them…

[arowitharrows]

coming out as aromantic and/or asexual to people is so exhausting because 10 years later they'll be like 'oh yeah I never actually understood what that really means' and it'll either be a situation where a) you've had multiple conversations about it over the years but your explanations didn't align with their pre-existing belief about asexuality and aromanticism so they just flat out didn't take in a word you said or b) they never mentioned it again after you told them, never asked a single question and never did any research on their own about the topic. I don't even know which one I find worse. Probably the silence.

[rusababy]

QPRs are absolutely NOT accepted and very rarely understood nor are they taken seriously both on and offline. Whenever I’ve mentioned the term I’ve always had to brace for impact because I’ve had literally debates over whether or not they even EXISTED. Most people can’t even believe you can have intimacy outside of romantic interactions.

I’ve felt consistently inadequate because of internalized amatonormativity and overall lack of representation for QP love and intimacy and only had romance and sex to base my feelings off which made me deeply uncomfortable. It’s been deeply difficult to try and relate to other lesbians as an aroace lesbian because I feel like sometimes I’m in a completely different world. Really, it should be easier for me to know my boundaries but I don’t live in a vacuum. I’m still affected by all sorts of discrimination and oppression and have still a lot of ideas internalized about how I as a human being should behave intimately.

I sometimes feel like I’m intruding on aro conversations especially romance repulsed conversations because so many folks just treat it as “Romance-lite” and I never feel like I’m seen as truly aromantic (asexual) and also lesbian. I hate that people see my love as romantic, it really, really fucking hurts. And it hurts even more to feel like a fake or an intruder in the aro community for doing it. This may be the OCD talking but I feel like I have to hide a lot of myself because it either makes no sense to alloroses or it’s too intimate for aros. And please don’t tell me I’m valid, treat me like I am instead.

[rusababy]

I really hate when people try to frame their repulsion for QPRs as romance repulsion. Like, really it’s possible to be repulsed by QPRs. Please just say you’re repulsed by QPRs. Acknowledge it’s different! It feels so bad seeing others paint it as just a romance cause it’s not what it is nor does it reflect accurately of who I am. Like, I’m literally romance repulsed and love and want QPRs, that’s not an oxymoron! If you dislike something please be specific in what you dislike, makes it easier for all of us🫩

[blkaroculture]

This goes for sensual attraction/physical touch too, though people are a bit better with not equating it to sex immediately people still use it as the definer for romance. Like, a QPR is not just “relationship without the kissing”… my nigga. kissing is alllll i think about. Not a huge fan of liberal aspec activism, i think it’s time we deconstruct amatonormativity now thangya!

[dopeladystranger]

Genuine question

This is not meant to be offensive, but I have been wondering something. What does it mean to be aroace and gay, or aroace and lesbian, or aroace and straight? From how I understand it, the latter words suggest romantic or s3xual attraction, which contradicts being aroace. Am I misunderstanding this? Can someone please explain?

[aroaceenjolras]

It means they have a gendered orientation that is not romantic or sexual, that is significant enough to the way they form relationships that they want to label it.

When I'm feeling fem, I describe myself as a sapphic aroace, which means that I am interested in forming close relationships with women and those close relationships are intimately tied to the way I express and experience womanhood as a multigender aroace person. When I'm feeling more masc, I have similar feelings about men. I've described it as "you don't understand, I don't think (insert gender) are hot, I think they're interesting."

To understand orientation outside of hegemonic sexromance, you need to understand gender outside of hegemonic sexromance. What does it mean to be a woman if you're not trying to attract a sexualromantic partner? What does it mean to be a man under those same circumstances? What is gender presentation when it's not a courtship ritual? What does it mean to crave the company of people who are embodying self-contained gender in ways that are compatible with yours?

Friendship and hegemonic sexromance are not an on-off switch. There are many more shades of care to explore.

[rusababy]

Yes yes !! Im a nonbinary aroace lesbian and I feel queerplatonic and sensual attraction (aesthetic too just not exclusive) exclusively towards women and nb people. I’m very connected to my sensuality in terms of the philosophy and working to deepen that connection, and so I’d describe both my attraction/love as well as gender as being soft and gentle all around. My idea of neutrality (androgyny) is someone who’s vaguely elegant, deliberate in their beauty, and when wanting to attract I want to come off that way in efforts to comfort and fulfill them intimately.

[blkaroculture]

Black aro culture is, I hate all romance movies except Rye Lane