G-d I WISH there was sex ed for intersex people, in schools, outside of schools, anywhere. Because it is so confusing and isolating to develop as an Intersex person, because while perisex people just get to *know* what to expect about their bodies, we don’t. Like it’s really honestly traumatic to have to constantly be figuring out your body because the education you got just doesn’t apply to you, there’s no category for you, it’s all trial and error when figuring out how to care for it, to please it, to understand it.
As an afab Intersex person I learned what to expect when I got my period, but I didn’t know what to expect when I didn’t. I didn’t know what to expect when all of my friends got theirs and I got mine late and irregular and I thought something was wrong with me. I didn’t know what to expect when all of my friends were developing “correctly” and I was just getting hairier, when I was growing a happy trail to rival most grown cis men when I was only like, 10. I didn’t know what to expect when certain “male” puberty traits started to apply to me.
I’m entering adulthood now and have had to get my sex life advice from tumblr posts made by other Intersex people, because I didn’t expect just how Different™️ sexual situations would be for me. There are things that just aren’t possible for me that I thought would be, and things I didn’t think would be possible for me that actually are possible. I didn’t realize just how different my body is from perisex people until I started to explore it. But there’s not much advice for pleasuring, understanding, or caring for bodies like mine I can just find from googling or picking up a book. Intersex bodies are already taboo, and so is talking about sex, so talking about sex with Intersex people is just unspeakable I guess.
I’m going on testosterone this year (that’s the plan, at least) and I’m honestly not sure what to expect. Will my changes be more drastic due to my already high testosterone level? Will they be more subtle, or just similar to perisex results? I know what to expect on testosterone if you’re a perisex trans person, but I don’t know what to expect as an Intersex one. My boyfriend is on testosterone and the changes happening for him are just normal things for my body, so we’ll just have to see.
I know how to navigate and understand my body as a perisex person, but I’m not a perisex person. I have a lifetime of knowledge about perisex bodies but next to no knowledge of my my own, or how to navigate it, understand it, pleasure it, or care for it. And that’s just a very weird, confusing state to live in. I’m constantly just learning new things about my body, even as an adult, and it’s very confusing, isolating, and even traumatic.
I wish we were seen as human beings with human needs rather than defective anomalies so rare that we don’t have to be acknowledged and when we do exist we can just be “fixed” so it doesn’t matter.
I wish intersex people were taught how to live in our bodies, not just how to change them
(Ok to reblog, only Intersex people can comment)
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