ADITYA-N-SINGH

JUST READ-SLEEP-EAT-REPEAT

[bloggingwithaditya]

LIVE BY THE MOMENT, NOT BY THE SECOND

Being a writer is no joke, you must care about the deadlines, the content and sometimes even your formation of sentences. You are somehow pre-occupied with your own stuff, then in middle of a night out of no-where you jump into a world of self-actualization, where you are cursing yourself for not living a life you wanted as a kid. I’m not saying that “I wish I could have become a pilot because that’s all I use to think when I was a kid after watching a plane in the sky almost once a month”. The thought I want to convey from my Blog, or I could say “Dear Diary” that at some point in future every individual will come across a stage of self-doubt, in this stage either you’ll be doubting your life choices, or you’ll be assessing your future with a bottle of Bacardi in your hand and that there my friend is not self-doubt, buddy that’s Self-Harm.

I was in my youth when this thought process struck me like a lightning and my mind was blowing with random thoughts, my mind was running on a rocket-fuel with no happy thoughts at all and same as well, I was assessing my future with an old-monk in my hand. People out there reading this understand one thing “YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL” you are just same as all of us, you can also be overwhelmed with your situation but there’s always a catch in every situation and that is “How to overcome that situation”.

So, as I said in the beginning, I am a part-time writer, who loves to write blogs, short stories and stuff, the most amazing part of being a writer is that “I can write whatever I want and whenever I want, what’s going in my mind and heart. All those things which people fear to say or express I can write in a much better way, let me give you an example:

 Like an empty shade on a crossroad, with a mind of thoughts

With a clear black land with multiple sunspots

I say oh tree, you big fat giant, tell me what makes you stand so tall?

I am a part of humanity with nothing to lose

I am a part of freedom!

I know who you are, I know what you feel, and I have felt the same!

Let it out in the open, like the hands I spread,

Let it out in the sky, as you said I am a big fat giant.

Just.

Let it out.

 In this I am conveying that, my mind was like an empty shade from a tree standing on a crossroad and during my self-doubt phase that empty shade was filled with numerous amount of sunspots, and the shade is asking the wise tree, how you stand so tall and carefree and the response change my perspective towards the living.  

 So, how’s it, pretty amazing right. As I was telling you “I can write” and so should you. My grandpa used to say that “You can either live your life by the clock or by the second, but you cannot live it with moment you want to cherish”. So, overcoming that fear of self-doubt is not easy and it won’t be suppressed with a whiskey on the rocks, but I’m not it’s impossible. Everything you think with a power of self is possible and even achievable.

As master Oogway once said “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift! That is why it is called a THE PRESENT”.

I am no special, you are not special, and all those people reading this are not special at all, but what special is the connection we all harness with ourselves or with everyone around us. I am writer I can convey my feeling my thoughts via writing, you all should convey yourself, express that desire in any way possible and then feel the rush of openness, the rush of freedom from an unknown bound of self-doubt or should I say self-actualization.

 As I have said you my lovely people,

Express your Desire. Live by the moment not the second.                                                                                        

 –

ADITYA N. SINGH

[bloggingwithaditya]

CHERISH: Before it’s vanished  (PART:1)

Hi

I'll gonna start my todays writing with a story which is really close to me, I know this place is not to show-off my pain but though this place is really amazing to let things off your chest in a very efficient manner "going too much diplomatic here", so yeah let’s start with a story "the story where there was a person but not the time". I am gonna say that when people leave they leave with memories but the person I am gonna tell you about has given me moments, moments to make me understand what the hell is LIFE. I had known her for a year since the time we met and one day a year later basically out of no-where her friend calls me, stating that she's gone.

Monday morning and I was in a hospital for my routine check-up for kidney stones and my results were pretty good, stating that the stones were soluble and can easily pass through your body waste and there would be no operation for the extraction for the same, I was really feeling wonderful that moment and by the time I stepped out the Doc. cabin, one small human being running like a blizzard in the hallway and here face is facing the opposite direction and I was watching her like a MEERKAT with lifeless expression and the something happened after that particular second which is pretty obvious "we bumped into each other" and still I can hear her first words along with an elevated pitch "HEY, WTF ARE YOU DOING HUH, CANT YOU SEE I AM COMING FROM THERE".

Well that is really uncalled for, because for what's worth I wanna apologized and want to start backing off from the situation, because at that moment my hunch was totally saying, well not saying but shouting that this girl is a bad deal and you should just step away from this situation because now I am fit from these stones and probably not coming to this hospital ever again "technically, not gonna go any hospital ever" but being a heavy thinker it tend to take a little too much time for my hunch to activate and in return 10 seconds have been passed and I am still in my thoughts and I am staring at that girl with a face of zero expressions. Thus by judging my face that girl's hunch says that i am pervert and a creepy guy (basically it lead to another one of her howl, which made everyone standing in that hallway understand that i am pervert and a creepy guy staring that girl), thus with too much happening around me, I tried to step away from the situation but there come an another scream saying "WOW! NOW YOU GONNA RUN, HUH PERVERT" and I was like what the hell happened here in these few minutes "from being a patient of kidney stone to a pervert, dammit she need to be stopped".

Out of nowhere, my body working on reflex doing something i wouldn't have done in my past life ever. My one hand on her mouth just to make her little mouth shut for a while and another hand holding his right hand and her eyes stick on me with a ray of hope that was clearly telling that, please don't let that hand go, just, just take me somewhere else from this shit hole please. My legs starts pacing on their own towards the exit along with her on my back pacing along with me, I was holding her hand like I used to had some past life connection with her and on the other she hasn't yet shook her hand off either from me, she was just walking with me like i was taking her away from this misery to some place good, some place where she can breather, some place where she can do what she want. My mind was running on his top speed telling me, what the hell you are doing you douche-bag.  

Walking down the exit for a series amount of stairs and a couple hallways, a period later we were out of our misery and there comes the confrontation part. I already had a series of question's ready for this wild child but before I could have said anything there was a sweet mild voice coming deep through her soul "thank you", all my questions were out of order for that particular moment or I was resisting myself from all the interrogation I was gonna make her face to just a one simple question "are you ok". I don't know maybe it's a thing that these simple question can make a huge impact on any person but I was refraining myself from all that jibber jabber and somehow i just asked "what were you doing in that hospital", "why were you running from that nurse" and "would you like to eat something because I think you are really hungry".

Hi, my name is "Amulya" or you can say me "Amu", see I am sorry from all those things I said in the hallway, I just wanna get myself out of that hell hole because that ass hat compounder is not letting me go because you see I am suffering from something which cannot be cured and I know you would be judging me in this outfit I am wearing, well technically i don't have any much time left with me and I want to try every single thing I could in this leftover time. I have a lot of things in the “to do list” and I really have to check them all. you must be thinking that why shouldn’t I be with my family spending my rest of my time around my loved ones, well you see when I am around my old man and woman they just pamper me a lot and my mother on the other hand just whenever she holds my hand she just starts to cry no matter what and the old man just gives me whatever I say no matter how expensive it is, so before i could declare myself crazy till the time I die, I just wanna live my every moment doing something new, doing something which is mentioned in this to do list and to do all this I just cannot waste my time sitting in that hospital praying, ah...... yes you were saying that i look hungry, yeah I could be hungry. What are we gonna be eating. Then I'll tell you about my “to do list”.

To Be Continued............              

[bloggingwithaditya]

The Rain: “Changed Me”

HI,

SEPT 12, 2019 days were not much hot but they do have moderate felling of a little and a sweet coldness in them thus making them more pleasant than usual, as always I was on my bed having a zero motivation of stepping away from my turf(duh, my bed) and this weather, this intoxicating feeling that makes me more dizzy than usual, so I have sworn myself to not give up my bed for the whole day, I’ll just plug in my air pods and let the music do the rest. Lo-fi music with a smell of rain in the wind, barging in my room through the window. I don't know if this is a thing or maybe it's with me, I can easily sense when the rain is gonna come and also this time I was a hundred percent sure that it’s gonna be rain in a few. 

Guess what, I was right, it was raining and "ugh" I was out tea leaves and sugar, milk, technically everything because where there is rain, there have to be a cup of tea and I am out of every raw material which is required to make "chai". So I had to give up my turf and run some errands for the goods. so I was there at the baldy "baldy because the owner of the shop was bald and rude and yeah the most interesting part, his forehead can also be used as a prism if needed because that damn head can spread light to 7 colors" and guess what by the I was gonna head out of the baldy, there was the rain that appeared out of nowhere and I was the most depressed one out of the fifteen ones standing beside me, because they are no waiting for the tea, I was. Few minutes were passed and that smirk baldy comes next to me whispered in my ear saying "waiting for the tea, huh".

That was time, that particular moment when my whole body and soul was both trembling and shouting saying "I am gonna smash that convex egg-head of his but my sight was stolen by an appearance which was outside, outside in the rain cherished, that particular soul was feeling the opposite of what I was feeling. It was free, free from everything not in shackles of depression, anxiety or heart-break. Every step that person took, the step was not counted, not bounded by thoughts. My eyes were stuck on that thing dancing in the rain, like a droplet moving on a leaf, like a fish in a clear pond. How's that thing is so happy, not a sense of fear or getting sick or being hit by lightning, how is that possible, that a human being in a state of blunder moving around so freely, people were watching they all were talking about him, are they talking about him or they are just no watching that soul move from one place to the other, like a dog with a ball.

My mind was powerhouse of unpredictable thoughts, like a beehive of random assumption about things which were not even there or will gonna happen if I do this or say this and now, that is what we call "over-thinking people", every word I say is weighed evenly, every step of mine was counted, thoughts were bounded by the shackles of unpredictable society "what will all these people gonna think about me".

My eyes were stuck on that human dancing outside in the rain, happy. I was crying inside because i was craving for my tea and this idiot baldy is beside me passing weird statements about his daughter success in making clay pots. I want to know why is this human making fun of itself in front of all this public, staring with their beaming eyes or are they staring, I don't know but this person have to stop. I simply left my bad on the counter and started to advance towards that human, still I was shivering on the inside doubting my every move, every step was leading me towards my end, my mind is turning again into that beehive which was numb till the time I was on my turf. Inner I was shouting, stop it you are not meant for this just stay where you were before, abort your mission of help, just stop.

I know what I was doing was completely suicidal in my head but that person was in this cold weather, as well as this rain is also sooooo cold. I stopped myself a little before that dancing human and for the first time I had an eye contact with this person and I get to know that the eyes were a little hazelnut-ish, the person was continuously watching me stand there in humiliation of people who were staring me continuously with an awe. "They are watching you and now me, could you please come down there because you'll gonna catch cold or maybe the lightning gonna smash your head, so please come down there and make yourself dry.

"Do you have eyes on the back of your head" "uh, no" "then how could you know that they are watching us or they a talking about us" "but, they are gonna watch, your stupidity and me here out of courtesy to stop you" "but why, why do you came here in the first place, why do you think that these people are watching and judging us out of the blue, why do you think that whatever I am doing out in the open is gonna humiliate me, because I don't know you and I am pretty sure you as well don't know me, why risk to come all the way in this rain in front of me with a numerous glares behind" "(with a raised voice) because I want to know why are you doing this, why are you so free, don't you feel the humiliation from all these people, all of them are judging you from top to bottom about your clothes, your physical features, your eyes, your weight and every minute detail they gonna catch to make yourself pity, how come you don’t feel all this, how", because I want to live.

"My mind was stunned with the statement that the human said, there is nothing wrong with the line this person just said, all he did, was stating the obvious, the obvious I was dodging this whole time, the obvious I was so afraid to accept, because it's just obvious that I do wanna live out in the open again. That particular moment was the one where I first cried in my whole life after the 4th standard, I cried like a baby whose mother was misplaced in the crowd and who was all alone there waiting for that that support he desperately needed, just the touch. And there was this hand on my shoulder, that warm hand awaiting to bless a broken soul who is waiting for the light. There was the Shekhar uncle (Baldy), watching me with a glare, but there was something different with that glare, he was smiling and cherished just to see me being a nutcase with eyes all wet and red from crying, he asked:  

"Hey, want some tea because I am making some using your goods and I have a towel for you just soak yourself dry ok" "but you have a shop with all the supplies" "yeah, but I am making one for you also as well" "no issues but also make one for this guy, this stupid guy dancing out in this heavy rain like a peacock" "wait, what! for whom, your head must be short circuited from this rain because you were the only nutcase out here in this heavy rain, talking to himself, shouting and crying for god knows what reason" "oi you old man, just look at this foolish guy here". There was no guy out there, nobody was dancing, I was the only one standing alone in the open road.

"Just come with me have some tea, sit down at that bench and everything’s going to be okay": SHEKHAR (Baldy)

[bloggingwithaditya]

POWER “A BOON OR BANE”

Hi, 

I know that this particular topic is well versed even by a 5th grade student but what comes under this particular word also does have a great meaning or numerous meaning as well. We know what power means it can sometime be a boon or sometimes a bane, it is us who have to understand how to make the best use of the boon/bane.  

someone in the past ask me a question and still I am searching for an answer: “ sensibility by itself is a virtue but does this righteousness plays along with power ? ”

In my past years I came in contact with several beings all over India, who believe that being in power is itself a great responsibility but beforehand this power demands sacrifice, perseverance and sometimes pain. every living being is in search of power either to live or to survive, a tiger who need power to live depending on kill, a doe who needs the power to survive by running against the wind from its predators. every sage I have been to chat, everyone says one simple thing about power: “power is just a mindset, every being is powerful, they are just not seeing with an another perspective” 

India is a country with a diversified population with demographics based on religion, caste, race, gender, but there is one thing in common within all these billions of people all of them know how to survive even in a worst scenario, they have came through a lot of happenings in past but still standing erect because they know that many have given sacrifice in the past to make them stand like this, with a puffed up chest and eyes with glare, with a howl that no-one can led down, I call this power through sacrifice. 

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where there is a no-way out, I have been in one, I am not gonna bore you with my drama but it does include someone I love the most, the situation which arose way back in time, surely would indulge our relationship in jeopardy and would also create a border between the two of us, but in that particular moment I remembered one saying by one of the sages I met in past he said: “boy what do you know about patience, I said the basic language which states the obvious that “to stay intact in every situation” the sage smiled and says “I am not asking what the book say, I am asking what do you feel, about the term patience” I on the other hand said the same thing that to keep yourself intact for the greater good no matter what the scenario you face, the sage again smiled and says “what you say about patience is true, partially, I agree that being patient means to stay intact, but if there is another person is along with you whose perseverance is as same as you manifest, then the term changes from being intact to being strong”, I call this power through perseverance. 

Power really is unpredictable, I know for me its both a boon and a bane but what people decide is important because every being out there in the human world seeks power unknowing its prerequisites or you can say consequences.

-“POWER IS POWER”  

[bloggingwithaditya]

THE-“BOOK”

“When you know that a book, which you want to believe, is what you want to write” so here I am just executing my thoughts, hula-hooping in my brain in words.

whatever I am gonna write is no fairy tale or anything, just a happening I faced a little time ago, a book can do many things, it make you look cool, smart, sometimes even a studious guy but one day a book was there to help meet this girl, a girl with black hair, brown dusky eyes with an adequate height of 5’8 or maybe less, (Delhi metro, 18-February 2019), standing in one corner of a bogey with a book in her hand and on the other hand there was me “a book junckey” unknowing as she was in her book and me on her staring the most beautiful thing she was holding in her right hand, slowly turning the pages of that thing to the left and her eyes deeply attached to that book and mine on her and also at the book (c’mon don’t be judgmental geek).

my mind, my eyes, my feeling, ears everything is attached on that adorable soul standing just 8 feet away from me, the inside me keep on saying just go out there talk to her, god-dammit just go have a little chat just a little one, but aware of the circumstance I just maintain my stand there, there was no movements no noise, just peace in my heart, I know she’s standing there, I can have a chat with her but I just remain standing there just a sense of peace in my heart by just looking at her.

Out of no where she held her eyes up, staring outside the boogey with a hair strand on her left cheek smoothly touching her, first time I had a jealousy with a mere hair, I don’t know why but there was something bothering me deep inside, as why can’t I go there and have “hi” with her : WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYYY.

With her little stroll on the outside she slowly turns her head towards me, both our eyes are locked both of us facing each other, there is no movement in both of us for like 8 or 10 seconds, I know she is watching me I am watching her, I don’t know how and what got into me but my legs starting to ascend towards her direction, from where am I getting this much courage, my mind was shouting, STOP STOP STOP IT, I know is was moving in her direction and was the longest 8 feet distance I have covered till now, every step my body was starting to freeze, every step I am cursing myself, every step I was thinking what if everything turns upside down, every step I am saying that this is not good, change the course, please change it, you will every thing worse.

she knows I was approaching her, I know what she’s thinking and I know I am there right in front of her, three other passengers were there watching my every little move, hoping may this child gets what he’s praying for, my heartbeat was rising, and now its 5 seconds and I am standing in front of her, swallowing my own saliva, as I could not get my water before, throat is now completely dry and now its 7 seconds and then something happened which changed my life, my environment there, every step before was looking worth it, those 3 passengers were feeling a sense of eternal peace, because that child got what he was praying for, because

THAT CHILD SAID : HI:)