good morning!™ @blogginsfrombagend - Tumblr Blog

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

nattousan

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

nattousan

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

nattousan

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

nattousan

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

nattousan

Madam....

nattousan

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

nattousan

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

nattousan

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

nattousan

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

nattousan

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

nattousan

aaaand another one bites the duck,

we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos

the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you

nattousan

power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,

the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis

and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.

Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp

nattousan

thanks for the reminder, kid

nattousan

at long last, we've reached the end...

Bird number 14 out of 14,

The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius

thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.

i'll see y'all soon :')

armandology

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

briarhide

In light of some of the many things happening across the world this year, I thought this Pride Month needed a special illustration.

Happy Pride Month, may we all stay safe, look after each other, and keep painting our rainbows, no matter what. 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

thememedaddy

thebreakfastgenie

I see this post all the time and I'm so confused. Most people throughout history were busier than your average resident of a developed country is now. My primary reaction to reading about the past since I was a child has been "I'm glad I don't live then, I'm too weak for that, I could not do that much work all the time."

aphony-cree

In the past things took longer to do but they often required a waiting period. You had to chop wood, put it in your stove, and light it, but it took a few hours for it to get hot enough for baking and then another hour for the bread to fully cook. History books will say things like "It took 4 hours to make a loaf of bread" but they don't mention that you only had to do actual work for a fraction of that time and the rest could be devoted to other tasks or relaxing for a while

Employee workload has doubled or tripled because of modern technology. It makes things faster but also creates less downtime which employers have filled with more responsibilities. You can do more work in a 10 minute period if all the files are on the computer but in the olden days you got to take a short walk to the filing cabinet and let your mind wander while you thumbed through folders, which means a modern 10 minutes of work is more mentally exhausting. The amount of work one employee has to do today used to be split between 2 or 3 people. We lost those moments of downtime we used to get by having to do things the slow way

mage-of-the-small

lifeafterpsychiatry

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

kurai-hono-blog

This is the sacred texts, this is the holy grail.

#self care #mental health #i dont remember what tags i use oops #probably neither of these unfortunately #masterpost

demarogue

Gettin' Through the Holidays Mental Health Tricks

If y'all are anything like me, this time of year is triggering AF. Here are some small, very easy grounding exercises that I was taught by my therapist, basically in order of how much I like them for this rage-inducing season. You make like them in a different order, depending on your rage-to-despair ratio.

Push a wall: literally go up to a wall and try to push it over. Really try. I promise you won't push it over, but give it your best shot. Try to hold it as long as you can, and then take a breather and assess whether you need to repeat. Why it works: This is a quick, physical expulsion of the fight-or-flight feeling. It's a bit like punching a wall, but without the potential to hurt yourself/look scary/damage things. You can even do it in front of people and say you're stretching, they'll never know (unless the wall actually falls down, but this will not happen, I assure you).

Shake like a dog: Animals shake to release stress, and you are also an animal. Setting aside time to just shake it out, as vigorously as you can, arms and legs, face, stick your tongue out, pretend you're shaking like a wet dog. You can dance instead, if that feels better, and you can do this to music, but basically the more unhinged you can be, the better. If you are in a place you can scream, scream too! Why it works: like the above, this is a release of pent-up stress and anxiety. Especially if your rage-to-woe ratio is high, some kind of physical exertion is often the best way to burn through the cortisol and adrenaline you're building up.

Bilateral Tapping: Cross your arms over your chest so that your fingertips are at your shoulders, and slowly tap, one hand at a time, back and forth, for about a minute. Breathe slowly. Why it works: This is weird as hell, but because this engages both sides of your brain, it helps override the activity of the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that Makes The Fear. If you're being literally triggered in a situation, i.e. you're having a trauma response, or reliving some family trauma, this is a good one.

Box Breathing: From a comfortable position (can really be seated, laying down or standing), inhale slowly for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then repeat. You can do it for shorter counts or longer counts, but if you vary the counts make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. You can close your eyes or leave them open. Why it works: This exercise helps you move from a sympathetic (activated) nervous system response to a parasympathetic (balanced) response. I do this one every day, and it's a good gateway to meditation. Especially helpful in anxious or tense situations, but I find if I'm very triggered I need one of the other ones first, or it can make anxiety worse. Breathwork is amazing but not usually as a first exercise if you're very activated, or have been activated a long time.

Ice: Lots of ways to do this one – hands in cold water for 30 seconds, ice pack on the back of your neck, dip your entire face into a bowl of ice water (this one's the most effective). Why it works: I kinda think this is hilarious, but this activates your mammalian dive reflex. It immediately slows your heart-rate, so if you are feeling your blood pressure and heart rate rising, this one is very good. The only reason this one's at the bottom of my list is because I hate being cold.

I wish you all a very get-through-the-holidays-without-hurting-yourself. Take time alone if you need it.

love-notes-to-survivors

Remember that even good changes can make us feel depressed, because, as creatures of habit, we're resistant to change. That doesn't mean that it wasn't the right choice.

closet-keys

that one study that was talking about how the “gay voice” can be viewed as just what post-testosterone based puberty voices sound like when not trained into culturally masculine modes of inflection and intonation. I think that’s a great masculinity based example of the same phenomenon as discussed in my previous post. Like the reason speaking in that way is gender nonconforming is likely because it reveals the effort and practice that goes into “natural” adult masculinity. it draws attention to the fact that the narrow allowable masculinity is constructed and necessarily learned in order to be perfected.

pensive-fabulist

interesting flipside, feminine inflections are probably learned and constructed too. i have some feminine cis female coworkers who have very "boyish" voices who would probably read very masculine if their voices are deeper. i distinctly recall, as a teenager, realizing that the way i talked was different than my female classmates and starting to inflect more to "fit in". so the real default is probably a wide variation that gets shoved into these different boxes by a lot of pressure

maid-of-timey-wimey

Bringing the citation onto the main post: Gaudio, Rudolf P. "Sounding Gay: Pitch Properties in the Speech of Gay and Straight Men" American Speech, Vol. 69, No. 1 (Spring, 1994), pp. 30-57

closet-keys

to be clear (cause in a few different threads of this post I am realizing it's spread beyond the context of other posts I envisioned it as a continuation of, which give greater context of the overall idea I was trying to express)--

yes, feminine inflections (and all ways of speaking) are learned! speech is a social behavior, and all aspects of speech emerge from these contexts. there's no "natural" default of vocalization.

and this is not always in a literal ("I'm going to practice making my voice masculine") way, often the way kids who were assigned male at birth learn these "masculine" inflections is a social process in which they are mocked, laughed at, or bullied for speaking in any other way, so they are incentivized to learn to speak in the very narrow acceptable ways that don't invite this kind of attention.

similarly, people like me who were assigned female learn to use our voices to avoid negative social repercussions. a lot of "feminine" communication I personally associate with "customer service voice" because it was something I learned to do to deescalate and placate.

tonal inflections also reflect how people navigate other socially constructed categories (e.g. "the white voice" that many people of color perform in predominately white professions).

my central point in the original post isn't at all that this is unique to masculinity or men! to the contrary, my larger point is the opposite-- all gender is active.

we tend to displace our ideas about how active gendered speech patterns (and body language, etc.) are onto specifically marginalized people. gay men, for example, are seen as atypically using their voices and body language to communicate how they exist within gendered structures, but the reality is that straight men are doing the same thing.

we interpret gender nonconformity as uniquely active, when really it's just that most people like to believe hegemonic patterns of speech and body language are "natural"/default and everything else is "artificial"/deliberate.

#gender

transfaguette

from one chronically anxious person to another: the world is not going to go up in flames. What happens will be more slow, more bureaucratic, more boring. There is no catastrophe to end all catastrophes, no rapture, no sudden end. You can't give into the call of the void, because there is no void. So you just have to do the work to make tomorrow a better place, anyway. Because that's how it gets better.

transfaguette

#A lot of people want it to be too late#Because that means they can just throw their hands up and blame everyone else and not have to do the work anymore#But as long as there are people left it's never too late#Things will keep getting worse for a long time but if we keep working then it WILL turn around#We'll see some horrible days coming up but they will give way to a better future

creature-wizard

All of this! And conversely, there won't ever be some magical day when everything is fixed all at once! Progress will be slow! Don't give into doomerism because we can't fix everything right now, right away. Progress, too, will often be kinda boring and bureaucratic. That doesn't mean it's not happening and that it's not important.

#things to remember

sixmonthsandgone

Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin (2018), dir. Arwen Curry

aiweirdness

The next line of her speech is also great: “Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings.”

incidentalcomics

How to Finish

I drew this poster for Jon Acuff and his FINISH book tour. Big thanks to Jon for this collaboration, his book has some great ideas about how to complete creative and life goals.