I know someone who, while discussing ATLA, asserted that Zuko jumping in front of Katara must be purely platonic to have any meaning. That was the first time I'd ever heard it and I didn't have any response because it made absolutely no sense to me. I literally didn't know where to begin.
I've since seen several variations of that repeated online. Because I'm a slow thinker I need time to organize my thoughts. I do try to sit with and understand the things people say. I think I've finally figured it out somewhat:
Friendship can be selfish, and romance can be selfless
I think there's an unspoken assumption at work here that romantic love is inherently self-serving and that platonic love is inherently selfless. So Zuko ending up in a romantic relationship with Katara after saving her life would have been self-serving, and he "gets nothing out of it" if they remain friends (as actually happened in the show) thus rendering the act truly selfless...even though that logic values friendship as worthless or something you get nothing out of.
If the assumption is that you engage in a romantic relationship because you enjoy the butterflies in your stomach, you enjoy how the other person makes you feel, because you want physical intimacy or companionship or someone to buy you dinner, then yes, that's self-serving.
That's also not actually romantic love. It gets called that by a lot of movies and TV shows and books, but a lot of people would rightly call that sort of "I love you because of what you do for me and what you make me feel" attitude by its true name of lust or affection or infatuation.
Romantic love can be perfectly selfless. Hopefully everyone has seen at least a couple of examples in their own life, whether from their partner, between their parents, their couple friends, or just strangers they saw once on the street.
I'd be sitting here all night if I had to list every story where the culmination of the romance is one of the romantic leads doing something self-sacrificial purely for the sake of the other, sometimes in the belief that they won't be able to be together after said sacrifice, but that's okay because this is selfless love without expectations or demands. It's an incredibly common story beat. Titanic and K-Pop Demon Hunters were just the first two big movies that jumped into my head and they just so happen to be two of the most popular movies of all time, if that says anything about how significant this trope is.
Likewise, just because no one's trying to get in the other person's pants, that doesn't render friendship more selfless. You can become friends with someone not because you like them for who they are, but because their house has a pool, or they have a console you want to play, or they'll get you a good grade if they're your partner in the group project. Aristotle classified "friendships of utility," where you're only friends because you find the friendship useful to you, as one of the main forms of friendship for a reason.
Friendship can be incredibly self-serving and toxic. If you are old enough to consume such media, check out not just Mean Girls but Jennifer's Body, Heathers and Trainspotting in the movie department and The Secret History, My Year of Rest and Relaxation, and Elena Ferrante's Neopolitan novels if you'd prefer reading.
Friendship and romance aren't diametrically opposed
A solid friendship is actually a great foundation for romance. These two modes of connecting with another person aren't diametrically opposed, they can and do enrich each other.
So, on that point, I do think Zuko is still doing better than A.ang. In the end, it feels like A.ang's friendship with Katara was just a box he had to check to get to a relationship with her--that was his ultimate objective from literally the first moment he opened his eyes in the first episode--which means he never had a true friendship with her (where his goal was simply to be her friend and nothing more), and therefore their friendship isn't a good foundation for romance. He's in fact guilty of acting out of romantically-inclined ulterior motives (*cough* rescuing her and giving up cosmic energy in the S2 finale *cough cough*), an apparently terrible, selfish thing that people claim Zuko would be guilty of if Katara and Zuko ever got together.
But there's no hint within the story that Zuko is just trying to be friends with Katara because he wants to date her. So don't they have a truer friendship than she ever had with A.ang? And wouldn't that true friendship be a better, healthier foundation for romance?
Zuko's first reaction to Katara wasn't love at first sight, he doesn't have a crush on her that permeates all their interactions, and he doesn't make important choices with the end goal of getting with her. A.ang does all of that. If romance as an ulterior motive invalidates a character's actions and makes them less-than-heroic, it's A.ang who's guilty of that, not Zuko.
Are you allowed to benefit from a good deed? Yes, actually
To hit another angle, there's something paradoxically impossible about setting the bar for doing a good thing as "must be absolutely selfless, meaning you get absolutely nothing out of it, for it to truly count."
First of all, Zuko does end up friends with Katara so he does in fact get something out of sacrificing himself for her--namely the life of his friend. Does that make it any less selfless? I say no: he wasn't acting out of concern for himself but rather for Katara, which is where the selflessness of the action lies.
Second of all, whether he'd get a friendly or romantic relationship following this self-sacrifice doesn't matter, there's no way around him benefitting personally from it. Or anyone who does a good deed, really. Because doing good things is good for you.
There's been plenty of research that shows that buying stuff or going on vacation provides fleeting happiness, but volunteering actually leads to longer-lasting happiness and fulfillment than spending money on yourself. Humans are pack animals! We're social creatures! We are built to thrive when we do things with and for each other.
Should you not hold the door open for the old lady because it'll make your heart happy when she smiles at you and says "Thank you?" You're getting something out of it so it's not actually a good deed, it's a selfish one. Should you do it anyway and wallow in your own wretchedness because you're selfishly holding doors open for the elderly for your own validation? Or, in order to be a truly good person, should you slam the door shut in her face?
There's no winning there. And, I hope, most people can see that this attitude doesn't cash out in the real world. It's a good thing for you to do selfless acts of love and kindness for your friends and your romantic partners, and the fact that doing so will make you a happier person who feels closer to the people you help is a feature, not a bug. It's the positive feedback loop that holds all of our (healthy) relationships together.
So, does it matter whether Zuko jumps in front of Katara because he's acting out of a friendly or a romantic feelings for her? No, not even a little bit. Both could have worked just fine, you could even have both working at the same time, and neither one undercuts his redemption arc.
Does it matter that he jumps in front of lightning because it's what's best for Katara without concern for what it might cost him? Yes, absolutely. Because that right there, whether borne out of friendship or romance, is the essence of selfless love.
A small collection of background character noses. So no one can tell you the nose changes are due to the art style. // Pequeña recopilación de narices de personajes de fondo. Para que no les digan que el cambio de narices es por el estilo artistico
The people saying that the Zutara lightning save is insignificant, that confronting Katara’s mother’s killer together is overinflated, that it’s embarrassing to be obsessed with Katara’s hand on Zuko’s scar are working with the exact same logic as the kids in primary school pestering the girl with the longest, shiniest hair to get a pixiecut.
I beg new Zutarians to open your eyes and not let brats and bandwagon hoppers convince you to drop what makes your ship compelling.
These people do not wish you well!
As a personal favor to me, a community member who’s been here for decades, each time another illiterate, provocative anti pisses you off kindly drop a comment/kudos on a new fic/art work/meta analysis.
We deserve balance.
We deserve to be as encouraging to ourselves as we are vicious to haters.
Em um mundo onde a tecnologia da Nação do Fogo sufocou a magia e impôs uma falsa paz de aço e néon, Katara sobrevive nas sombras como a última centelha de uma Resistência à beira da extinção.
Para ela, o Zuko não passa de um demônio sem alma, o executor implacável que enterrou sua própria humanidade.
Mas quando uma reviravolta do destino os joga em uma violenta rota de colisão e convívio forçado, o passado que compartilhavam ressurge com força letal.
Entre a desconfiança absoluta e o peso de um mundo que racha sob seus pés, fogo e água descobrirão que a linha entre destruir um ao outro e ceder ao calor inevitável é perigosamente tênue.
Em um mundo onde a tecnologia da Nação do Fogo sufocou a magia e impôs uma falsa paz de aço e néon, Katara sobrevive nas sombras como a últi
areudirty
pixelskylines
gamechangershow
dailybridgerton
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
amandla
2087
