A joke poorly told

✞ Morrigan - 22 - they/rot ✞ I like gaming, Godzilla, and horror ✞

[lakevida]

free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england

[gayvampyr]

it really pisses me off when adults sit there and drill it into kids’ heads that their youth is fleeting and tell them things like “enjoy your childhood while it lasts because this is the best it’s gonna get”. why are you telling children that adulthood is the worst thing they can experience? seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you trying to make them feel like growing up is a fate worse than death? trying to convince them their life is over before it even begins? i’m tired of that shit. because tell my why my 12 year old cousin told me when she turns 30 she’ll be so depressed she’s just gonna cry all the time. what the fuck. kids don’t need to hear that their already stressful and overwhelming lives are never going to get better, that the abuse and lack of autonomy they face is apparently the highlight of their lives. they need to hear about adults who are happy to be alive and happy to have made it to their age. they need to know that growing up rules, it’s a gift and life does not have to suck for them, that they have a future that’s worth sticking around for. this rhetoric is so damaging mentally and i’m about to start hitting the adults who parrot it. i’m sorry you hate your life but you don’t get to dump your issues on these kids. don’t piss me off and leave these babies alone!

[loveyousamatchi]

little cryptids caught on cctv! (not pictured: little boy investigating the camera up-close)

[beemovieerotica]

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

[3ofusjust3]

kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab

[joeyclaire]

[boycritter]

the annoying thing about weightlifting is that you have to lift weights that are a little too heavy for you if you want to get stronger. and you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to keep building muscle. fucked up.

[boycritter]

thank god this same principle doesnt apply to any other skill you want to improve at! that would really suck.

[crabussy]

I don't understand how cis people obsessed with gender norms think trans people are the weird ones. they're going around believing that your name has to correlate to your genitals. your fashion has to correlate to your genitals. your behaviours have to correlate to your genitals. your hobbies have to correlate to your genitals. who you date has to correlate to your genitals. whether you can put sparkles on your eyelids or not has to correlate to your genitals. and then people like me go "hmm. I might not do that. maybe I'll just do what feels fun and okay instead" and they LOSE their MINDS

[lemonsweet]

Any time a customer is telling me a story and I can't understand them/what they're talking about and I'm just nodding and agreeing and looking interested I think of this gif

[tr-shb-g]

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[aechanira]

@kittybroker

[kittybroker]

Highly skilled and talented Bug here to help with all those pesky clinical duties! Hire on Bug today, now for only $63.99!

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[desinteresse]

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

[little-trash-ghost]

Can't leave this in the tags..

[redstonedust]

"i know this show was made for children but i enjoy it too." > awesome and cool. watch whatever you want forever.

"i know it LOOKS like it was made for children but its SECRETLY for us. calling it a kids show is an insult cause kids could never understand these THEMES and EMOTIONS. we're the TRUE fans." > i dont think i trust your opinions. you seem lame as fuck.

[s-t-a-r-c-o]

im reading discworld and im on the third book and i only just realized they arent arranged like this

[sator-the-wanderer]

I raise it to

[sandpancakecat]

My mom thought it was an elephant standing on four turtles

[dogpuppy]

[bakersfield-row]

[androidboy]

literally my favorite type of tweet

[forgissimus]

oh my god i have some of these saved 1 sec

[valtsv]

[divorcedwife]

look at the republican calendar and see which animal/plant/item is associated with your birthday ok. if you're born january 14 you get the day of the cat

[divorcedwife]

solidarity for everyone who was born on the day of the cistern or the watering can or something like that