Past Lives | Summary: (Y/N)s past relationship comes back to haunt her, changing the course of her and Bucks lives.
Part 1 - Part 2
Day Off | Summary: (Y/N) finally has a day off in months, but gets more than she bargained when sees Buck injured on the news by an arsonist.
Part 1 - Part 2
Temporarily Transferred | Summary: (Y/N) is temporarily transferred to another station, but work becomes complicated when they start to harass her over her relationship with Buck.
Home Safe | Summary: When (Y/N) is taken, Buck does everything in his power to get (Y/N) home safely.
Daddy’s Little Girl | Summary: Buck finds out that he and (Y/N)s daughter is being bullied at school, and does everything in his power to make sure she feels safe.
Spiral | Summary: After sustaining an injury at work, Buck beings to spiral out of control causing a rift in he and (Y/N)s relationship.
Remember Me | Summary: When (Y/N) and Buck get into a serious car accident- (Y/N) experiences transient amnesia, leaving Buck in the dark about if she will ever remember him again.
Let Me Save You | Summary: (Y/n) escapes an abusive relationship but is confronted with the past as Buck does everything he can to keep her safe.
Stalker | Summary: Buck gains a stalker after saving a young woman in a crash, putting (y/n)s life in danger causing things to get out of control.
Bobby Nash
Maybe In The Future | Summary: Bobby and (Y/N) never discussed the possibility of starting a family until it was too late.
Part 1 - Part 2
Spiral | Summary: Seven months after (Y/N) has given birth to their first child, Bobby begins to spiral, causing a rift in their relationship.
Chasing Pavements | Summary: Bobby and (y/n) secretly have feelings for each other, but her current relationship is keeping her trapped in a painful cycle.
Scars of the Heart | Summary: Bobby is scared to take the next steps in his relationship with (y/n) out of fear that he will bring “bad luck” to her.
Eddie Diaz
I Need You | Summary: Eddie has to decide whether to save Shannon or (Y/N) after being called to bad accident, but his world is turned upside down when he finds out the secret (Y/N) has been keeping.
Part 1 - Part 2
Protector | Summary: After a break in at Eddie’s house, when his pregnant wife, (Y/N) and Chris are home alone- he begins to panic that he is unable protect his own family.
Spiral | Summary: After a series of angry outbursts and losing Christopher to his parents, Eddie begins to spiral out of control causing a rift in his relationship with (Y/N).
Talk to Me | Summary: After (y/n) has a baby, she begins to become depressed causing Eddie to worry that she will leave their family.
One Shot
When (y/n) is sick
When they propose
They found out (y/n) is pregnant
Their world comes crashing down when (y/n) suffers a loss
summary: (Y/n) is badly injured on the job, causing Barba to come to terms that he might lose his wife.
warnings: sad
“Barba.” (Y/n) lightly hummed into his ear, as he turned over in bed to face her. He playfully threw the blanket over his head, pretending to ignore her.
He hated to admit that she brought out a softer side in him. A side that could make him melt. He enjoyed the slow mornings when they could wake up next to each other. The days where their daughter waited patiently for them to while she played in her room.
(Y/n) pulled the blanket from Barba’s face. He rolled his eyes letting out a deep sigh. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her in tightly.
“Can’t you call Olivia and tell her you want to stay home with Luna and I?” He nuzzled against her neck, placing a gentle kiss between her collarbone.
“We’ve got an important case. I have a good feeling that we will catch the guy soon.” (Y/n) said.
Luna cracked open their bedroom door gently. Her princess night gown took shape with her dark ponytail. A spitting image of Barba with subtle features of (y/n)s. She climbed on the bed, wiggling between the two of them.
“Mommy, are you staying with me and papi?” Her bright wide eyes stared into (y/n)s.
It broke (y/n)s heart knowing that she had to disappoint her. Barba offered for (y/n) to stay at home, but she enjoyed her career. The thrill of catching the bad guy, just as much as Barba loved the court room.
“No, Luna, not today.” Barba interjected before (Y/n) could speak.
“Por qué?” Her voice lowered as the sadness weld in her eyes.
“I’ll be home early tonight, I promise.” (Y/n) said. She got up from the bed, watching her two favorite people in the world. The feeling was nearly euphoric, but only for a moment.
A wave of sadness overwhelmed her. She could feel the tears form in the corner of her eyes. (Y/n) was never one to get emotional without reason. Barba took notice when she rushed to the bathroom abruptly.
*****
(Y/n) held the walkie to her lips waiting for the suspect to leave the corner store. Nick stood near the pay phone waiting for the signal.
The suspect exited the store. (Y/n) pressed down on the side button of the walkie.
“Nick, he’s headed your way.” She said. Nick nodded in her direction and started tailing behind the man. (Y/n) cranked up the car, waiting for the two to reach the corner block before pulling out of the park.
She tailed behind them until Olivia’s panicked voice spoke through her walkie.
“It’s a set up! Fall back!” Olivia yelled. Suddenly, a forceful impact ran across (y/n)s side. The car tilted to the side and in the middle of the road. (Y/n) could feel the blood rushing to her brain. Her vision became blurry as a bright light charged towards her.
Everything, in an instant, went black.
Barba ran down the halls of the hospital. Olivia stood outside of the door pacing around. She bit the edge of her thumb nail nervously.
“Rafa.” She looked up in shock.
Barba’s heart began to pound harshly against his chest. He tried to catch a glimpse through the hospital window, but Olivia blocked his view.
“Liv, I want to see my wife.” He said sternly.
“Barba, it’s not good.” She paused for a moment. “We thought we had a handle on situation. It went-“
“I want to see my wife now.” Barba repeated.
Olivia stepped to the side. His trembling hand hovered over the doors handle. He pressed down against the cool metal.
(Y/n) was hooked up to wires. Her heart monitor at a steady pace. Her arm in a cast. Bandages covered her body. Bruises. Blood.
His heart stopped. He slowly inched closer glaring down at her body. Now, nearly lifeless. All he could think about was how drastically the face he saw this morning had changed.
Barba grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. She weakly opened a swollen eye to catch a glimpse of his face before smiling.
“Hey you.” Her voice, now husky, became a sweet sound to his ears.
“Hey, hey. Don’t talk mi amor. I need you to rest. Luna-“ Barba paused, clearing his throat before it became evident that his emotions were getting the best of him. He sat down in the chair next to her bed, still holding her hand in his.
“Rafa?”
“I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”
The memories of their life together came flooding into his mind.
*****
“ADA Barba meet (Y/n).” Nick said nonchalantly between the two. “She’s the new detective at SVU.”
Barba looked at her up and down before shuffling through the files again. He tossed it on his desk, placing a firm hand on his hip.
“You look young.” He said abruptly.
“Nice to meet you too.” She trailed off slightly annoyed.
“Don’t mind him, he’s always this way.” Nick said. His phone began to ring. He gestured his head towards the door, pressing the phone against his cheek.
“So, Nicks your partner?” (Y/n) walked around the room looking at his wall of books. Some law books, some academic, others the classics. She smiled when she saw his Harvard degree.
“Yes, he is.”
“Good luck.”
(Y/n) turned around to face him. She studied every single detail of his body. His outfit. And his face.
“Are you this much of a hard ass to people?” She asked bluntly. Barba’s eyes widened causing a brow to raise slightly. A little smirk crept across his lips. He stepped from around his desk, checking out the window of his office to make sure Nick was still on his phone. Barba, pulled her waist in closer, placing a quick kiss on her lips.
“Are you trying to blow my cover? No one knows.” He quietly spoke.
She lightly placed her hand on his chest, pushing him away.
“People will find out Rafa. Sooner than later. Especially since I’ll be put on desk duty.”
“Desk duty? You just started.” He questioned.
She inched closer, draping her arms around his neck. Instinctively, his hands hooked around her waist. He hated to admit he loved the fact that they were sneaking around. Having a secret only they knew.
“I know but I have got precious cargo now. I was thinking they could call you papi or daddy? I don’t know which one you prefer.” Barba’s lips slightly parted. (Y/n) pulled away just in enough time for Nick to enter the room.
“What’s up with him?” Nick pointed at the still frame in front of them.
(Y/n) shrugged her shoulders taunting Barba. Nick continued on without a second thought.
“Liv wants us back at the station. Barba, we’ll need you down there too. You can catch a ride with us.” Nick said.
(Y/n) smiled, giving Barba a little wink. She knew the excitement and fear were all swirling around his brain at once.
******
The heart monitor kept a steady rhythm as Barba snapped back to the moment. He wish he could go back in time. Be far away from the reality he was living.
He sat up in the chair in an attempt to get more comfortable without waking (y/n).
The doctor entered the room. A pitiful smile appeared across her lips.
“Are you her husband?” Barba nodded his head. “She withstood a lot of injuries. There was some internal bleeding that we are managing, but we recommend that you get her family here.”
“Get her family- what do you mean?” The familiar harsh rhythm of his heart moving against his chest started.
“She most likely won’t make it. I’m sorry.” The doctor took a beat, allowing him to digest her words. “I’ll give you some time to be alone.”
The door closed shut. Barba mindlessly rose to his feet. Tears slowly slid down his cheek, running onto his shirt. His mind ran wild. His legs nearly forgot how to hold his weight.
“You can’t leave me. You can’t leave Luna. This isn’t supposed to happen.”
Coughing interrupted him. (Y/n) tried to lift her body up, but failed. He could hear her swallow hard. Her throat suddenly hungry for air.
“Rafa.” She began to panic. “I don’t feel well.” A cold sweat consumed her skin. Harsh coughs escaped her lips leaving a light stain of blood at the corner of her mouth.
Gibberish poured from her lips. The world seemed to move in slow motion as the nurses rushed in. Barba took a step back. His arm was pulled to the side and into the hallway by Olivia. The curtain closed, shielding him from his own wife.
“What do I tell Luna?” His blood shot eyes met Olivia’s. “I wish she never joined SVU. I told her it was too much. You did this!”
“Barba we didn’t-“
“I’m most likely going to lose my wife. Our daughter won’t have a mother.” He wiped the tears away.
The curtain opened. Barba held his breath as the doctor tossed her gloves into the trash can.
“I’m sorry Mr.Barba, but she’s gone.” She patted his shoulder, disappearing down the long hallway.
“I can’t do this anymore Liv.” Barba made his way past the curtain with Olivia as his shadow.
No steady sounds of her heart beating. Wires disconnected from the machines. The stillness of the cold room surrounded them. He wished she would get up and say everything was okay, but nothing.
He leaned his head over to Liv’s shoulder allowing the tears to flow. Most of the time he would try to keep it together and save face, but this was different. His world and work at SVU had come to an end within a day. He pulled away from Olivia as Nick, Fin, and Rollins made their way to the hospital room.
Barba brushed past everyone making his way down the hall. Luna ran down the hall ahead of his mom. Barba scooped her up in his arms, holding her tightly against is chest.
“Rafael, how is she?” His mom asked. Barba glanced to Luna at his side and shook his head no. “Rafa.” His mother let out covering her mouth.
He gently placed Luna back on the ground. Barba questioned the right way to explain to a four year old that her mother wouldn’t be coming home. He squatted down to reach her eye level.
“Hey, Luna.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms before holding her hand. “You know mommy loves you very much, but she had to go bye-bye.”
“Why?” Her bottom lip quivered. “Did she not like us anymore.” Barba shook his head no, gently rubbing the side of her cheek his one hand.
“She loved us very much.” He stood up, adjusting his top. He glanced back at the SVU squad who watched the whole scene unfold.
Barba lifted up Luna, who was now hysterically asking for her mother. All his life he wanted a family to undo his childhood, but in a day he had to say goodbye to that dream once again.
summary: Voight is having an affair with the head detective of internal affairs wife, (y/n), but things take a nasty turn when her husband finds out.
Part 1 here
(Y/n) rested in bed, scrolling on her phone waiting for Voight to call her. She knew deep down he felt over protective of the situation. He had already lost a wife and child, and he refused to let history repeat itself.
Hours went by and (y/n) still hadn't heard from Voight. She could feel her eyes slowly closing. The last two days had been emotionally and physically draining. All she wanted to do was make sure he made it home safely. Voight could always handle himself, but when he was angry and determined, he would go off the rails.
Light footsteps caused (y/n) to stir awake. The weight of the bed shifted. A gentle kiss was placed at the top of her forehead with a steady hand against her stomach. She placed her hand over his.
“I’m glad you finally made it home.” She took in his sent before locking eyes with him. His bruised face caused her to flinch slightly.
He ran his thumb against the scratch on her face. The mark that Miles left behind because he hated the fact that his wife could love his enemy.
(Y/n) wrapped her arm around his neck pulling him in closer. She held him tightly against her. He nuzzled his nose against her neck, placing a quick kiss on it.
“He won’t ever hurt you again.” He whispered against her skin.
(Y/n) pulled away looking him in those brown eyes. Fear took over her body.
She knew how Voight could get, but she wouldn’t want it to be like that. For Voight to take justice in his own hands with Miles. She didn’t want to be the reason why he had more rumors and whispers about being a dirty cop.
“Hank, what happened?” A slight trimmer left her throat.
“I don’t need you worrying about me. Focus on the baby. I’m going to get cleaned up.” He got up from the bed and started unbuttoning his top in the mirror. Bruises riddled his body as he winced taking the fabric off against his shoulder.
(Y/n) heard the shower turn on. It was eating her alive. After all, Miles was her husband for years regardless of how terrible he was.
She got up from the bed, pulling her t-shirt down her slightly puff stomach. Inching closer to the steamy ajar bathroom door. She opened it fully to see Voight’s shadowy figure under the water.
“Is he dead Hank?” He stopped lathering his hair with water. He turned off the water slipping the towel down, wrapping it around his waist before stepping out. He grabbed her waist with his wet hands, pulling her in tightly by her shirt.
“Do you think I killed him?” His husky voice hit her ears.
Tears weld in her eyes. She lightly pushed him away, rushing back to the bedroom. A slight twinge ran across her stomach. Her chest moved rapidly up and down. She held her stomach lightly trying to calm her breathing.
She could still hear him in the bathroom changing. Her mind stayed focused on the world around her.
Voight grabbed her shoulder causing her emotions to crumble. The tears streamed down her cheeks and another twinge ran past her abdomen. A painful quiet screech escaped her lips as she fell to her knees.
Hank leaned down to console her. He noticed her hand placement and gently helped her onto her feet.
“You need to take it easy sweetheart. You’re protecting this little one for us.” He helped her sit on the bed.
“What if somethings not right?” She twisted her hand into a fist against the fabric of her shirt. Her breathing was uneasy again and heavy.
“(Y/n) breathe.” He rubbed his hand up and down her thigh. “I didn’t do anything to Miles. I should’ve but I didn’t. I want to see this little one grow up and I mean that.” His hand spread wide against her stomach.
“Why are you all banged up?”
Voight chuckled at her concern.
“You know I still have a job handling dangerous criminals?” He kissed her forehead, rubbing her thumb against her cheek.
She winced again slightly from the pain in her stomach. Voight scrunched his eyebrows together.
“I’m okay Hank.”
“You sure? We can go to the hospital again if we need to.” She shook her head no. (Y/n) stood up holding her breath in the process, praying that she didn’t feel a wet sensation between her thighs. Hank stood up alongside her.
“I’m good.” She pulled the covers of their shared bed down. The warm blanket hit against her skin comfortably.
“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Voight spoke.
“I know.”
“I didn’t kill him, but I didn’t let him off easy. He hurt you. You’re the greatest thing in my life and I couldn’t lose that.” His voice cracked. “When I found out you were pregnant, I knew what I had to do. I also know that after all this, I want you to be my wife.” Hank continued.
“Are you asking me to marry you Hank Voight?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, one day.”
(Y/n) smiled patting the empty space next to her on the bed. He laid down pulling her close, wrapped into each other’s arms safely.
Law & Order SVU One Shot: They learn a secret (y/n) has been keeping about their past.
warnings: minor mentions of violence
Elliot | Barba | Nick
Elliot Stabler
Elliot held the photo of (y/n) in his hand, tracing the edges with his thumb. (Y/n) entered their shared home, heels clicking against the wooden floors until she made it to the open kitchen. She placed her purse on the counter and a small kiss on Elliot’s cheek. He tilted his head away from her slightly.
She took note of his body language. Her eyes followed his down towards the photo on the counter. The rhythm of her heart shifted. She took a deep breath.
“How… How’d you get that?” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat trying to remain calm.
“I found it in the box under the bed.” He paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her finger tips, one-by-one, tapped against the counter. This couldn’t be happening to (y/n) out of all people. Her life was starting to fall into place and her past still managed to find her. The world she built felt like it was closing in.
“It was in my past. I never thought anything of it.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.
“I worked in SVU for 12 years. I know what domestic violence looks like.” He held up the picture of (y/n)s bruised and battered face. “Who did it?” His voice became cold. It felt more like an interrogation than a productive conversation.
“My ex.”
“Did you file a report?” He continued his line of questioning.
“No.”
Elliot slammed his hand against the counter. Tears weld up in his eyes as he looked over at her. This was the first time she had ever seen Elliot break. She knew he only wanted to protect her, but a piece of her felt shame for hiding her story. She didn’t want to seem like a victim.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He pleaded.
A tear slid down her cheek falling onto the photo beneath her.
“I like how this is. I could be me without any baggage.” A pitiful smile inched across her lips as the tears continued to fall.
Elliot propped himself off of the counter, opening his arms wide. She pressed her head against his chest. His warm arms wrapped around her back holding her tightly. He pulled away to look her in the eyes.
“Your hurt is my hurt. You never have to go through anything alone (Y/n).” Her those words made her feel safe. No matter what she had been through.
Rafael Barba
(Y/n) was sitting at her desk chatting with Nick when Barba came storming through the squad room. In one swift motion, he grabbed her arm causing her to stagger onto her feet. They hurriedly walked down the hall until Barba was able to find a quiet spot in the corner.
His white knuckles gripped tightly onto the file in his hand. Soft, yet hard breathing is exchanged between the two. Confusion plastered across (y/n)s face as she waited for Barba to say something.
The lingering silence was starting to make her uncomfortable. Barba was usually one to get straight to the point, but this time he was in no rush. When he became still in his anger, (y/n) knew she should be concerned.
“You were arrested?” He held the folder to her face. Her mouth parted. Eyes growing wide.
“Yeah. I mean… kinda. It was when I was a teenager, but it’s - it was supposed to be expunged.” She struggled to find the right words.
“We promised we wouldn’t keep anything from each other.”
“I wasn’t keeping it from you. I just forgot about it.” Raising her tone with every word.
“I’m planning a future with you.” He pointed down at the ring on her finger. “I deserve to know.”
“I was 16 and this older guy… I fell for the wrong person and it got me in trouble. He was 28 and I wanted to impress him, but it was complicated and he wasn’t a good guy.” She let out a heavy sigh.
“28? That means-“ Barba trailed off. His weary eyes locked with hers. “I’m sorry (y/n).” He stroked the side of her face, giving a reassuring smile.
“I should’ve told you.” Barba took out the picture of the mugshot and ripped it up. He walked over to the trash can and tossed it in.
“It’s gone for good now.” He said. “But I need you to promise me, no matter how bad it is, you talk to me.”
“I promise Rafa.”
Nick Amaro
Nick’s hand forcefully slammed the locker shut.
“Are you even divorced yet?” He nearly yelled.
“No.” (Y/n) softly spoke, staring at her hands in her lap. “I was planning on telling you sooner, but I got swept up in the moment.” She continued.
His brown eyes grew wide. He was pissed. Beyond pissed to be honest. Nick had entrusted (y/n) with the most important thing to him. His heart. He didn’t let just anyone get close to him. He preferred to be guarded, but with (y/n) he was a different man.
“Swept up in the moment? You can’t be serious.” He ran his hand through his hair. Black shoes began to pace around the small locker area.
“Nick, I’m getting a divorce.” She tried to reassure him.
“What, I wait until then?” He stopped pacing around, planting his hands firmly against his waist.
“I love you, so I’d hope you’d wait.” His breathing slowed the moment he heard that four letter word.
“You love me?”
“Yes, and I don’t want to screw this up. I’m telling you now because I love you. I want to spend my life with you.”
Nick sat down next to her. He took her hand in his intertwining their fingers together.
I really love your nick amaro writings, he's my favourite of the SVU guys, I swear I've read and re-read everything a dozen times they're so good 🩷 would you ever consider taking requests? No worries at all if not <3!!
Omg, I’m so glad you like them 💕 I am considering doing requests so if you have an idea feel free to share! As a fair warning, I don’t have a consistent posting schedule, so it may take some time.
summary: (Y/n) gains a stalker and an unexpected visit from her ex makes things more complicated.
warnings: mentions of stalking
note: this was a story suggestion from an anon. this is my first time doing one of these and I hope I didn’t disappoint. :)
“I’m taking the bar exam soon. I hope I can be the new ADA. I’ll have big shoes to fill after Barba.” Carisi began to chuckle before placing a kiss on (y/n)s cheek. She gave a pitiful smile as she handed him his coffee.
The two had recently gotten engaged, but she was holding a big secret. She didn’t think it was important enough to have to tell Carisi. After all no one knew, and she preferred to keep it that way. That was until things intensified between the two of them. Now, she has a ring on her finger and will soon take his last name.
“You’ll do great. Don’t forget about us little guys when you do become ADA.” She replied.
“You really think I can do it?” (Y/n) shook her head in agreement, patting his chest as she made her way to the small living room.
Her phone vibrated harshly against the table. She reached down to grab it when she was suddenly flooded with text messages. So many coming in at once that she struggled to unlock it. The phone rang a second time and she quickly answered.
The breathing on the other end caused her to go cold. A harsh laugh erupted in her ear. Her wide eyes turned back to face Carisi whose eyebrows were raised. Loud beeping consumed her eardrums nearly making them rattle.
“Who was it?” Carisi’s broken voice made (y/n)s heart flutter.
Deep down she knew exactly who it was. The same person who had followed her after work. The one who called her days on end taunting her about the recent cases. She could swear he saw him lurking around their apartment the other day.
Her eyes broke away from his, flashing her bright smile. If Carisi got concerned or suspicious, he would talk Olivia into taking (y/n) off the case.
“Wrong number. Nothing crazy.” She placed her phone back in her pocket.
Carisi inched closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. He pursed his lips, letting out a deep exhale through his nostrils. (Y/n) didn’t dare look at him. He tilted her chin towards him.
“Was it him?” His voice lowered with not even a hint of his accent spilling out.
She swallowed hard. Telling him the truth meant safety and trust, but not letting him know meant she could be the one to take this guy down. (Y/n) watched as his jaw clenched tighter.
“Yeah, it was.”
“You’re not working the case.” He released her waist from his grasp. He took a small step back to allow enough space between the two of them. (Y/n) could feel the heat pouring off of his body. Mad was an understatement on how she knew Carisi was feeling.
“Carisi I can handle myself.”
His arms crossed against his chest as his foot took on a light tapping rhythm.
“I know you can handle yourself. I’m concerned about what he will do to you. The guy is crazy! He could hurt you and I refuse to let that happen. I’m not going to let that happen.” His voice cracked. Carisi covered his mouth in an attempt to collect his emotions.
He bent down to grab his badge off the couch. The cold metal ran across his thumb, mindlessly tracing over the badge number.
“Carisi?” (Y/n) said, causing him to snap out of his trance.
“I’m talking to Liv.” He brushed past her. She heard the door open and slam shut. A part of her wished she lied to him. Now, she was going to have to face the team. The reality of the situation was far worse than she had led on.
(Y/n) dropped the file on her desk. Carisi watched her every move. His eyes scanning up and down to evaluate the situation. She rolled hers in the process, but the sparkling ring on her finger attracted her attention. The muscles in her face relaxed and a smirk inched across her lips. After all, this was the man she was planning on marrying. She wanted someone who cared deeply for her and her safety. Completely different from the man who left unexpectedly.
“(Y/n), I need you in my office.” Olivia said before closing the door shut again. She had been in her office all day and it was the first time any of them had seen her. It must have been something serious.
She glanced towards Nick, who was just as confused. (Y/n) reluctantly grabbed the file and entered Olivia’s office.
“Liv, if this is about the case, like I told Carisi, I can handle myself.” She tossed the file on Olivia’s desk. (Y/n)s face dropped the moment she turned her head.
There he was sitting on the leather couch against the wall. (Y/n) closed the door completely so the others wouldn’t hear. The tears started to form in her eyes.
“What are you-“ she stopped herself. Every inch of her body was filled with sadness. A tight pain hit her chest.
“(Y/n), Liv told me what was going on and I’m here to help.” Barba carefully got up from his seat to approach her. She nearly tripped over her own feet trying to back away.
“You left me.” Her voice broke. “You left without any regard to how I felt Barb.” She continued.
It had been year since she had called him that. She was only one left to hold the pain of his absence. Although she had moved on, his presence managed to linger. Out of all the days, he had to be here today.
“Let me be here for you. (Y/n), I still care about you.” He took her hand in his. The rough texture near her knuckles caught his eye. He held up her hand to see the shiny engagement ring. His grasp got tighter around her hand.
“You left remember?” She said coldly, wiggling her fingers from his grasp.
“I didn’t want to leave you. It killed me everyday. I wanted you with me.”
“You wanted me to choose between SVU and you!” She yelled knowing the others heard her. The tears flowed down her cheeks onto her shirt.
“(Y/n), I’m sorry.” He reached out to stroke the side of her face but she turned away. Too many emotions were whirling around in her mind.
She loved Barba deeply. If he had stayed she would be engaged, if not married, to him and not Carisi.
“Please let me help you.” Barba whispered. He inched closer to her. Hesitantly, he pulled her arm towards his waist. Barba firmly planted his feet pulling her in for a warm embrace. The tension released from his body as he felt her arms wrap around his back.
She longed to feel his touch. Vanilla musk hit her nostrils, reminding her of all the nights with his body next to hers.
(Y/n) pulled away looking him in the eyes. The moment was intimate. Too intimate with Olivia standing there and Carisi in the other area. She moved away from him.
“Help us put him away.” She looked back over at Olivia. “I’ll step down from the case.”
“About that” Olivia began, “we need you to be his bait. We know how obsessed he is with you.” (Y/n)s heart stopped beating for a split second. She knew she was going to have to tell Carisi.
“Carisi won’t like this.” (Y/n) bluntly stated.
“Carisi?” Barba frowned. “You’re with Carisi?” He began to chuckle. “How did-“ He cut himself off. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
Secretly, (y/n) wanted him to fight for her. To tell her that she should walk away from Carisi and be with him instead.
She opened the door to Liv’s office, giving a head gesture to Carisi to talk to him in private. He got up from his desk and headed over to the break room.
Carisi’s hand planted firmly on the side of his hip. He leaned against the counter top, waiting for her to speak.
“Barba’s going to help with the case.” Carisi smiled. He always admired Barba and hoped to as good as him one day. Carisi was also blind to the fact that his fiancé and his mentor ever had a romantic relationship. “They want to bait him using me.” She finished.
“Oh.” He paused for a beat. Why did she have to be the one to trap him. They had known how far he would escalate his stalking. (Y/n) didn’t need to be put in unnecessary danger when they had proof of his crimes. “I’ll be here for you. Every step of the way.”
(Y/n) patted his shoulder and smiled. Carisi watched her. There was an unnecessary awkwardness between them and he was starting to notice.
She left the break room wanting to only see one face and to run away from another. In a swift motion, she scooped her jacket from off her chair and headed out the building.
New York’s cold crisp air brushed across her skin. She turned the corner and her body was halted as if she hit a brick wall. A towering male figure became her shadow. Her eyes met his and the blood drained from her face.
“You need to leave.” She commanded.
“Why would I do that?” He reached out to stroke the side of his cheek. She immediately slapped his hand away from her. The idea of him touching her was disgusting.
“Get away from me!” She yelled, intentionally making a scene.
He yanked her arm closer to him, squeezing it as tightly as possible. For a second, she thought it might actually break.
“You’re mine.” He whispered in her ear.
“(Y/n)” Her name escaped Barba’s lips. The pressure in her arm released. Barba rushed down the stairs. “Was that him?” He questioned.
When she turned around, the man had already disappeared. She hated having to deal with him. Most of the time she felt like she was going crazy with how one minute he would be there and the next he was gone.
Barba wrapped his arms around her, leaning her head towards him to kiss her forehead. Like second nature, her arms made their way around him again.
“I’m sorry.” Barba whispered. Her gloomy eyes looked up at him.
“You could’ve talked to me Barb.”
“I wished I had.” His fingers grazed across her cheek making their way to her lips. “I miss you.”
(Y/n) leaned in and kissed him. She pulled away pressing her forehead against his.
Carisi cleared his throat. Both of their eyes whipped in his direction. (Y/n)s emotions got the best of her. She was engaged to the man she loved. So why was she still falling for the man that left her?
*****
The tension between Carisi and (y/n) was thick. Neither of them wanted to address the elephant in the room. They had a job to do and needed to focus on it.
(Y/n) walked out of her apartment building. She looked for the two black cars across the street. Olivia and Nick in one, Fin and Rollins in the other. (Y/n) caught a glimpse of a hooded man lurking across the street. She turned her back to discreetly speak into the mic to inform the others.
She slowly made her way down the sidewalk. Once again, the man became her shadow. Moving slowly behind her. She listened closely to wait for the signal from Olivia. It seemed like it was taking forever.
He took a shiny knife out of his waistband. The evidence they had all been looking for.
“Go.” Olivia commanded into (Y/n)s ear piece. Nick rushed up behind the man. Handcuffs tightly clasped his wrist. (Y/n) watched the entire scene unfold waiting for the okay to go back home.
At first, she was going to go back and meet Carisi after his shift, but she needed to calm her mind. She walked to the familiar building, greeted the man at the door, and entered the elevator.
Door 9B. She let out a small sigh and lightly knocked against the door. On the other side revealed Barba, with his suspenders against the side of his pants and his shirt unbuttoned slightly.
“We got him.” She calmly said.
“I knew you would.” He flashed a small smile. “Goodnight (y/n).” He was about to close the door, but she stopped him.
“I miss you too.” Barba pulled her into his apartment placing a passionate kiss against her lips. His hand held her face tightly, not allowing any room to breathe between what had now become a makeout session.
She still loved him, but now that meant letting the man she had promised forever with down.
summary: Bobby gets a second chance at a family, but his worst nightmares come to life when (y/n) and his kids are in a terrible accident.
note: inspired by the one shot I wrote
(Y/n) stirred awake to the sound of a light cry next to her. She opened one eye to see her three year old, Morgan, holding his stuffed animal tightly against his chest. Tears trickled down his cheeks pitifully.
“What’s wrong baby?” Her voice slightly harsh from trying to wake up.
“I had a bad dream.” He said using his shirt sleeve to clean his face. She sat up trying not to wake Bobby who was sleeping peacefully next to her. (Y/n) looked across the room to make sure Skylar was still sound asleep in her crib. She reached down to pick Morgan up and laid him gently between she and Bobby.
“Morgan please try not to wake your daddy.” (Y/n) whispered as she tucked him in. Bobby twisted around to face the both of them. He smiled at the sight of his wife and little son.
When Bobby found out (y/n) was pregnant with Morgan, he was terrified to start over. It was bad that they faced judgement because of their age gap, but now he had to be a father again. His feelings changed the second he held Morgan in his arms. All he wanted to do next was have a little girl and keep his family safe in his arms.
It took a year for them to conceive Skylar, but it was worth it in the end. They both agreed the two were enough to complete their little family. (Y/n) took on a new job and Bobby had another reason to make it home every day.
“Hey little man.” Bobby said, rubbing Morgan’s tear stained cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to wake you Bobby.” (Y/n) sighed. She knew he needed as much rest as possible before a 12 hour shift, and she hated being the one that disrupted his rest.
“Sweetheart it’s okay. I should be getting up soon anyways.” He turned to the clock that had 4:45 AM in bright red letters. His body twisted back around pulling Morgan in closer to his chest. “Might as well get Skylar too.” He gestured his head towards the crib.
(Y/n) grabbed their almost one year old daughter and placed her next to Morgan who was insistent on giving her a kiss on the cheek. Bobby couldn’t help but to blush at the sight of his family, that was once just he and (y/n), and had blossomed into something special.
(Y/n) yawned, struggling to keep her eyes open. Each blink causing them to close tighter shut. Bobby kissed her cheek as she drifted off to sleep.
The next thing she knew she was waking up to an empty bed. Only she and the kids. She looked at the clock that was now 8:00 AM. The happiness she felt hours earlier had faded.
Although she enjoyed her kids, she felt like she was doing a lot alone. Bobby’s hours had intensified since Chimney sustained an injury. Admittedly, she missed having Bobby home.
She and the kids got ready for the day, even though all she wanted to do was be lazy around the house; but, she knew she needed to get some fresh air. (Y/n) planned to stop by the station to have the squad play with the kids so she could have a human conversation with her husband.
“Mommy are we going to see Daddy today?” Morgan questioned as he stuffed a piece of his pancake in his mouth.
“Yes. We will see your daddy around noon today.”
Morgan nodded his head in agreement. He continued to devour his breakfast as (y/n) got Skylar cleaned up for the second time.
It had only taken her two hours to get her and the kids completely ready. A new record. The only problem was that they were already running ten minutes late.
She packed the kids up in the car and made her way to the station.
(Y/n) drove down the five, until she felt a harsh force rock her car towards the divider. Everything happened so fast she wasn’t even sure how she got on the opposite side of the intersection.
A warm sensation ran down her forehead. Loud screams echoed in the background as the world suddenly went black.
Bobby sat at the table checking his phone. (Y/n) was supposed to be there twenty minutes ago. The bells ringing echoed throughout the walls of the 118. He leaped up, giving everyone their assignments. All hands on deck for a car accident on the interstate.
Laughs and jokes were shared while the squad made their way to the scene. It was Buck who seemed to first notice the car nearly caved inward and on the opposite side of the road.
“That looks pretty bad Cap.” Buck said, examining the accident from a distance.
Bobby turned to see the car. Something about it seemed oddly familiar. A typical black SUV, but it was the sticker on the back window that caused his heart to sink.
“Oh God.” He whispered.
Bobby immediately hopped out of the truck, not letting it come to a complete stop. He ran through the traffic towards the vehicle that had nearly been split in half. Two police offers held his kids as their cries filled the air. All he could think about was (y/n).
He ran to the driver side door. She was completely unconscious. Her breathing was shallow and uneven. Bobby pressed his index and pointer finger against her neck. Her pulse extremely weak.
“Buck, Eddie, we need the jaws!” He screamed.
The two ran over to Bobby and they saw who was in the car.
“Cap, let us handle this.” Eddie said, gesturing for Bobby to step away. The tears had already formed in his eyes. Bobby nodded in agreement and took a step back placing her life in their hands. He marched over to his kids, taking Morgan in his arms.
Hen followed behind grabbing Skylar. They walked over to the ambulance sitting the two kids down. Hen flashed a light in their eyes to start a quick examination.
“They have some cuts and bruises, but the car seats took most of the impact.” Hen stated. Bobby let out a sigh of relief. Now, he needed to focus back on his wife.
He looked over to see Eddie and Buck putting her on the gurney. (Y/n)s body nearly lifeless. They took her over to the second ambulance. He carried his kids to take them with (y/n) but Hen grabbed his shoulder in an attempt to stop him.
“Bobby it’s best if you stay here.” Hen calmly said. Bobby held his kids tightly in his arms as he broke down crying. He thought back to earlier that morning and how everything was perfect, now his life felt like it was crumbling all over again. Hen ushered him to the back of her ambulance as he continued to console himself and his crying children.
When they arrived to the hospital, Bobby caught a glimpse of (y/n) on the gurney. Her body was so still that he couldn’t tell if she was dead or alive.
He and the team waited in the waiting room for hours. Eddie and Buck took the kids to the cafeteria for some snacks. Bobby sat next to Hen quiet as a mouse.
“She‘ll be okay Bobby. She’s a fighter.” Hen said trying to reassure him.
“Hen, the doctors said she had a brain bleed.” He paused. “I can’t lose this family or her. Coming to LA, I was so scared of getting close to someone for this exact reason. What if I’m the things that causes the most damage for people.” A single tear slid down his cheek as he cleared his throat.
“Cap don’t say that.” She gently placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Mr.Nash?” The doctor questioned those in the waiting area. Bobby got up from his seat and walked over to him. “Mr.Nash, your wife is doing well. She had a minor bleed to the brain but she is now stable. We did have to put her in a medical coma. She should be up in a day or so. I recommend that you go home and get some rest.” The doctor patted his should before walking off.
Bobby got home with his kids. He was terrified to let them go. The thought of doing this alone was eating him alive.
“Daddy?” Bobby’s head snapped towards Morgan. “Where is Mommy?” Hearing his little boy ask that question crushed her heart. He could feel his face tense. All he wanted was for his wife to be okay. He pulled Morgan in for a tight hug.
“Mommy will be home soon little man.” Bobby placed a kiss on his cheek.
A day had gone by and no word from the hospital. No news was always good news in their book. He debated on if he was going to go back. Since the accident he had been torn. Bobby knew his kids needed him and he knew (y/n) would never want them to see her that way.
He rocked Skylar in his arms as his phone rang. When the voice on the other line began to speak his heart dropped.
(Y/n)s eyes were blinded by the bright light. She blinked them rapidly until they managed to focus. The beeping sound became more pronounced. She looked down to find white sheets and bruises on her arm. Bobby held her hand tight, kissing it softly.
“Bobby?” She began to panic. “What happened to me? Are the kids okay? I don’t remember.” She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Not knowing made her feel worse about the situation she had woken up to.
“You all got in a car accident. We arrived at the scene five minutes later.” Her mouth stayed slightly ajar.
“Are the kids okay? Please tell me our kids are okay?” Her voice trembled. The thought of their babies being hurt crushed her soul.
“They’re good. A couple of little cuts but they’re good.” A tear slide down his cheek. His lip trembled. The thought of losing his second family was nearly destroying him.
(Y/n) quickly took noticed of how Bobby was becoming silent. She knew her husband well enough to know that something more was bothering him.
“I’m so grateful you were there Bobby. I’m glad we have you.” Placing her bruised hand on his shoulder.
Bobby began to sob into his palms. (Y/n) weakly propped herself up to get a better look at him.
“If I lost you all I wouldn’t know what to do.” He whispered.
“But we’re here because of you Bobby. That’s all that matters. We have you.”
Bobby got up from his chair and sat next to (y/n). He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest.
summary: Voight is having an affair with the head detective of internal affairs wife, (y/n), but things take a nasty turn when her husband finds out.
warnings: violence
note: inspired by season one of Chicago PD
Part Two here
Voight’s hand trailed up and down (y/n)s side running circles around her soft flesh, watching the sun beam hit against her naked skin. He softly brushed his had across her cheek hoping not to wake her as he admired her beauty. Voight hadn’t felt this way about another person in a long time. After all these years, he was opening his heart to something more.
Her eyes slowly stirred awake. She smirked softly as she covered her face from the sun. Her head nuzzled against his neck taking in the lingering scent of cologne.
“You have to wake up?” Voight’s husky voice hit her ears. She ran her hand at the top of his head and down against the back of his neck. Small kisses fluttered across his jaw and cheeks.
“Do I have to?” She sighed, propping herself up to get a better look at his face. His brown eyes intensely looked into hers.
“Your husband will be home soon.” He said with a straight face. (Y/n)s mood immediately changed.
She knew what she was doing was wrong. She had a husband at home, but he treated her poorly. He cared more about taking down Voight and their marriage became second. That’s what made it even more surprising when she ended up having an affair with him. She never planned on it getting this far, but now she had fallen in love.
(Y/n) came clean to Voight not too long ago. At first he found it humorous, how he ended up in bed with the man’s wife that was trying to take him down. It was until he realized that he too had feelings for her when things became serious. The affair had continued on, but deep down Voight was hesitant.
“You know I plan on leaving him, right?” He starred at her letting the silence linger. She grabbed his shirt from the edge of the bed, tossing it on.
“When?” Voight finally responded.
“I’m telling him tonight.”
“You’re not lying to me are you?” She shook her head no and leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He grabbed her wrist to pull her in closer. “If he does anything to you, you call me.”
(Y/n) smiled giving him another kiss on the lips. She stood up, allowing his shirt to fall down to her waist. Her reflection in the mirror caught her attention. Her cold hand glided over her stomach and hips.
“Do I look bigger to you?” She cocked her head to the side trying to get a closer look. Voight smiled at her through the mirror.
“You’re beautiful.” His voice commanded.
After her morning with Voight, (y/n) decided to run some errands before heading back to her husband. She knew breaking the news that she wanted a divorce was going to cause tension. Miles was possessive in ways and the moment he found out the other man was Voight she was screwed.
She left the dainty boutique with a small bag in her hand. Retail therapy to calm her nerves. Voight always made sure to give her a little cash, knowing Miles controlled everything.
(Y/n) was about to put her key into the knob when Miles opened the door snatching her inside. Her heart sank into her stomach as she stumbled into the house. He slammed her against the wall squeezing her forearms tightly.
“Who were you with?” He yelled.
“No- no one.” She choked. A tingling sensation ran across her cheek as the tears began to form.
“I know you were with Voight.” Miles shoved her to the ground. She barely managed to catch herself before hitting the wooden floors. (Y/n) kicked him between the legs as she darted off from the floor to get away from him.
Her hand twisted the metal of the door knob before Miles grabbed her again. (Y/n)s screams echoed across the room. Her nails clawed at his arms trying to get him to unhand her.
The whole brawl felt like it had lasted for hours. She sat on the ground with her back against the wall. Her breathing was heavy as Miles toward over (y/n) with blood dripping from his nose. Never in a million years did she think she would be fighting her own husband this way. Things had never gone this far.
“You knew I was investigating him and you are out here sleeping with him!” The veins in his neck started to pop.
“He’s not that kind of guy.” She whispered. Miles grabbed her shirt, lifting her up onto her feet.
“Voight doesn’t love you.” He let go of her shirt. “He’s only using you to get to me.” Miles walked away, shoving a vase down to the ground in the process.
(Y/n) took out her phone. She was about to call Voight but stopped for a moment. Her hands trembled knowing what Voight could do if he found out. She grabbed her purse and stormed out of the house.
Chicago Med was jammed pack, but she waited patiently in the emergency room for her name to be called. They prepared her hospital bed to examine her. Cuts and bruises across her arms and face.
“Is there anyone you want us to call?” The nurse questioned.
“Actually, can you-“ she was abruptly cut off.
“(Y/n).” Voight stood behind the nurse making his way over to the bed. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly. She could see the anger behind his eyes. “Did he do this to you?” Voight continued.
“He’s never been this angry. Miles has never hurt me before.” Her voice shook. How was she supposed to explain the reason behind Miles actions.
“If he comes near you again he’s a dead man.”
“Mrs.(Y/l/n),” the doctor looked over at Voight, “we need to speak to about something. Is he okay to be in here?” (Y/n) nodded her head yes.
“What’s wrong doctor?” Voight replied.
“Nothing is actually wrong. We wanted to let you know that the baby didn’t withstand any serious injuries; however, we do want to monitor you for the night.” (Y/n)s eyes widened looking over at Voight.
“I didn’t- how far along?” She held Voight’s hand tighter.
“10 weeks.” The doctor smiled. “I take it the two of you didn’t know. I’ll give you some time.” The doctor left the room.
“Voight, I swear I didn’t know.” She pleaded. With the day she had, she didn’t know how to process the news.
He kissed her forehead. They both knew it was his baby. She had been so distant from her husband the last six months, there was no doubt Voight was the father.
“I know.” He smiled at her. His free hand made its way to her stomach. “I’ll do better with this one. I can promise you that.”
For a brief moment (y/n) felt relieved. That relief quickly faded when she remembered Miles and his investigation. Panic consumed her mind and body.
“What about Miles? I don’t want him to know about the baby.”
“I’ll take care of Miles. You take care of our little one.” Voight calmly responded.
summary: Casey is scared of losing (y/n) after returning to work from their honeymoon.
note: let me know if I should do Chicago Fire fics
Casey stared at (y/n) as she bit down on the piece of slightly burnt toast. Something was different about today. Maybe it was the fact that they had gotten back from their honeymoon and were walking into the station as husband and wife. Or maybe it was something in the air that felt different. Either way, Casey had a feeling he couldn’t yet explain, not even to (y/n).
“Babe, why are you watching me like that? It’s making me nervous.” (Y/n) jokingly said before grabbing his plate and making her way to the sink.
“I didn’t mean to stare.” The plates clinked harshly against the metal sink. Casey flinched causing (y/n) to take notice. Her brows turned inward as she slowly approached him.
“Casey are you okay?” She questioned.
The announcement blared over the intercom. Ambulance, fire and squad to be dispatched downtown. All hands on deck.
Casey jumped up from his seat, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. (Y/n) stood there for a second trying to gather her thoughts. Seeing her husband on edge this way was concerning. She knew the side of him that could be somewhat of a hot head, but fear was nothing she had ever seen from him.
*****
They crowded around the trucks looking at all the destruction around them. A collapsed building, cars piled up on the side and debris scattered everywhere.
Chef shouted his commands before telling (y/n) to fall back with the a temporary medic by her side. It was becoming tiresome cycling through new people. She had seen so many come and go that she feared, more than ever, she could lose the greatest love of her life. Secretly she wondered if Casey felt the same way. Even though she knew the answer, she wanted to hear it from him.
“(Y/n)! We’ve got a victim over here.” Kelly pointed down at the pile of rubble that nearly consumed the young lady.
She jogged over checking the girls vitals. Strong pulse but in and out of consciousness. They had to act fast to make sure she didn’t get crushed by anymore concrete.
The doors of the ambulance slammed shut as (y/n) patted it before it sped off to the hospital. She began to roam around the side of the building looking for any signs of additional injured people.
Static sounds omitted from her walkie. She took it from her waistband trying to adjust the knob. Lightly, she tapped it against her palm to try to get a signal.
“(Y/n).” The sound cut off again. “Where-“ radio silence. “Location?” She pressed down on the button trying to speak into it. Nothing was working. She couldn’t even tell whose voice was on the other end.
A loud boom ran across her ears followed by a flash of light. Her body went into the air, hitting the side of the building.
Air barely entered her lungs. Her sweaty hands clung to the collar of her shirt in hopes that would help her breathe better. Fragments of the walkie sat next to her, radiating a buzzing sound. She planted her forearms against the concrete that had become rocks and started to army crawl. With each move she made, she could feel the ground beneath her cut and scrap against her arms. All she wanted was her husband.
Casey grabbed his helmet from off the ground. The ringing in his ear made it feel like the earth was spinning. He stood still until he could regain his focus. Immediately, his thoughts went to his wife.
“Kelly, was (y/n) with you?” He yelled over to Kelly who was standing near the squad truck.
“She went to the side of the building.” Gesturing his head towards the direction (y/n) went in.
Panic flooded his body. It was selfish of him, but he wished she didn’t have to always be in the line of fire with them. He knew she loved her job as a medic for the fire department, but it was bad enough he feared not coming home to her after a long shift. He shouldn’t have to fear losing her as well.
Casey darted to the side. A giant pile of rubble blocked in his way. Blue eyes scanned every inch of the ground. He spotted a small trail of blood. One boot in front of the other as he followed the bright red drops.
His heart pounded. His throat became dry. No matter how hard he tried, he was losing his composure. After a while they were expected to be used to these kinds of situations, but this was (y/n). They had spent an entire week off with each other and all that could be a sweet memory in a matter of seconds.
He reached the end of the trail and found her limp body pressed against a wall.
“Baby.” He crouched down, stroking the side of her cheek. The dirt nearly obscured her features. Her arms were riddled with cuts and bruises. Seeing her this way nearly brought him to tears.
“Casey, you came.” She smiled weakly.
“Of course I did.” He began to chuckle softly. “You’re all I’ve got. I can’t lose you.”
“It hurts.”
“What hurts?” His voice cracked. She glanced down at her hand over her stomach. Slowly, she revealed the blood seeping through her shirt. No words, let alone a sound escaped his lips.
He scooped her up in his arms, carefully making his way back to the trucks. The whole scene unfolded in slow motion. A yellow gurney under her body. His dirty boots leaving prints on the step of the ambulance. The flatline illuminating the back of the small ambulance. His worst nightmare coming to life.
*****
“I could have lost you.” Casey whispered as he sat up on the bed.
It had been six weeks since (y/n) left the hospital. Tomorrow would be her first day back and Casey couldn’t hide his emotions from her.
“But I’m okay Casey. You’ve been injured before. We always bounce back.”
“This is different (y/n)! This is you we are talking about not me.” He flipped the crovers from off of him and popped up from the bed. He inched closer the dresser mirror waiting for the man that looked like him to appear on the other end. His own reflection was starting to consume the sadness he felt. “I almost lost you that day.”
“I’ve almost lost you many of days. But through every fire I have been here for you. Be here for me.” He turned back to face her. Deep down he knew she was right. The reason they worked so well together was because they faced every problem as one.
“I’ll be overprotective and it may annoy you some days.”
The second floor collapsed beneath (y/n)s feet. She could feel her body nearly float down to the first floor before her back slammed against the ground.
No air was able to get to her lungs. It’s almost as if she forgot how to breathe.
Her body alarm echoed throughout the burning building. She could feel her eyes get weaker, but no mater how hard her brain tried, she couldn't seem to move her body. Everything stopped working.
Buck rushed past Eddie trying to get a better view of the area (y/n) was standing at. His heart dropped when he saw the gaping hole in the middle of the floor.
“Eddie,” Buck yelled through his mask. “I think (y/n)s down there!”
“I’m pretty sure she left the building when Bobby told us to start heading out.” Buck didn’t like his response. He knew deep down something felt off. (Y/n) always had a habit of announcing her location. It had been five minutes since Bobby had asked for a roll call and nothing from her.
The light beeping in the distance quickly caught Bucks attention. He grabbed Eddie’s forearm to stop him from making any noise.
“Do you hear that?” Buck questioned. Eddie focused his attention towards the sound as Buck walked closer, hovering over the hole. His eye grew wide, nearly turning black. One foot stumbled forward to try to catch himself before he too went falling.
Eddie slowly shuffled over to him. His head trailed down to (y/n)s lifeless body, then over to Buck who stood completely still.
“Buck, I’m going to go down to check on her.” Buck grabbed his shoulder before he was able to get into position.
“No, I will.” Buck quickly switched places with Eddie, tying the rope around his waist. Black boots hit the first floor. The flames seeped through his uniform causing his mask to become foggy.
“Baby, can you hear me?” Buck felt for a pulse. “Please (y/n).” His voice nearly breaking trying to plead with her unconscious body.
He wrapped the rope around her as Chimney and Eddie lifted her up. Not once did she flinch. No response the entire way out of the building. Bucks heart felt like it could explode.
They rested her on the gurney, pulling her mask from off her face. Hen rushed over to check her vitals, pressing her pointer and index finger against her neck.
“I feel a faint pulse.” Hen yelled. Buck finally exhaled knowing she was going to be safe. He helped Hen put the gurney in the back of the ambulance. Soft coughs caught his attention as he sat down next to (y/n).
“Buck?” Her raspy voice barely audible. She reached her hand towards his. Both of their clammy and sweat hands clung to the other.
“Shh. Don’t talk baby. I’m here.” He lightly kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right here the entire time.”
Eddie
(Y/n) watched the hectic scene unfold before her eyes. So many people injured that she was having a hard time keeping track of everything. The rubble was thick and loud screams echoed from each side.
“Eddie, I’m going to go to the west wing of the building.” She pointed to the crowded far end.
Once she made it to the side of the building, she immediately helped anyone she could find. Although she was just a medic, she had enough experience to know to move carefully through the rubble.
A hand grabbed her ankle causing her to trip as she was climbing on top of the concrete. Her head went smack into the ground. Small drops of blood escaped her forehead.
“Please help me!” The young man pleaded pulling (y/n)s leg closer.
“I’ll help you sir, but I need you to let go of my leg.” She said.
Her vision started to blur as she pulled the concrete and brick from off of his body. Only cuts and scrapes as far as she could see.
Eddie glanced across over to her. Her stumbling caused him to become concerned. He found himself no longer able to focus on the task at hand. Mindlessly, his feet began sprinting towards her.
In the nick of time he caught her as she began to pass out. He slowly placed her body down, patting her face in an attempt to wake her up.
“Amor!” He demanded. “(Y/n) I need you to wake up.”
Her eyes struggled to open. It took everything in her to not drift off.
“Baby you can’t go to sleep. I need you to stay up.” He pulled her medical bag closer to him. Unzipping it to find the proper bandages to address her wound.
“Eddie I’m tired.” She whispered. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head. He patted her face gently. Her eyes fluttered open.
“I know you’re tired, but I need you. Stay up for me amor.”
(Y/n) weakly nodded her head in agreement. No matter what she knew Eddie would keep her safe in his arms.
Bobby
(Y/n)s eyes were blinded by the bright light. She blinked them rapidly until they managed to focus. The beeping sound became more pronounced. She looked down to find white sheets and bruises on her arm. Bobby held her hand tight, kissing it softly.
“Bobby?” She began to panic. “What happened to me? Are the kids okay? I don’t remember.” She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Not knowing made her feel worse about the situation she had woken up to.
“You all got in a car accident. We arrived at the scene five minutes later.” Her mouth stayed slightly ajar.
“Are the kids okay? Please tell me our kids are okay?” Her voice trembled. The thought of their babies being hurt crushed her soul.
“They’re good. A couple of little cuts but they’re good.” A tear slide down his cheek. His lip trembled. The thought of losing his second family was nearly destroying him.
(Y/n) quickly took noticed of how Bobby was becoming silent. She knew her husband well enough to know that something more was bothering him.
“I’m so grateful you were there Bobby. I’m glad we have you.” Placing her bruised hand on his shoulder.
Bobby began to sob into his palms. (Y/n) weakly propped herself up to get a better look at him.
“If I lost you all I wouldn’t know what to do.” He whispered.
“But we’re here because of you Bobby. That’s all that matters. We have you.”
Bobby got up from his chair and sat next to (y/n). He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest.
summary: Nick suspects that (y/n) is having an affair, but feels ashamed when he finds out the truth.
warnings: violence. depression
note: inspired by the Lewis story line and Nick’s marriage story line.
It had been three months since (y/n) was injured. Three whole months of her carrying the reality of what almost happened to her. She had explained to victims a million times that it was never their fault. All the video trainings, classes on empathy and experience, she knew what went wrong wasn’t her fault.
They knew the severity of taking this case. Olivia had warned them all on the history of violence and fear this man had instilled into those around him. But none of the team was prepared for how far he would go to prove his point.
(Y/n) could still feel the coldness of medal against her skin. She could hear the loud sirens in the distance as her vision became blurry. Never had she felt her heart beat so fast; or, the warm sensation of blood rushing from her temple. The literal manifestation of fear consumed her body. Retelling the story meant reliving it all over again, which was why she hated therapy so much.
The cold chair pressed firmly against the back of her shirt as she laid across the couch. Four blank square walls surrounded her. They felt like that could cave in in an instant if she stayed too still.
“Have you told your husband the severity of being with Lewis that day?” Her therapist questioned waiting to scribble down her response.
“No.” She paused for a moment. “I don’t think he would understand. Lewis was a disturbed man and did horrible things. He doesn’t need to know.” She played with her hands in her lap. Anything to distract her from having to go over this ordeal again.
“You do realize you will have to tell him. He does know you come here, right?”
(Y/n) got up from her seat and began pacing around the room. She knew Nick needed to know. He was her husband after all. The man she was spending the rest of her life with, but she also knew his temper. She knew he was never mad at her, instead it was Lewis that he harbored resentment towards- he just had an odd way of showing it.
“I don’t see why you keep bringing up Nick in all this? This is about what happened with me.” The frustration continued to grow in her voice. She knew she had to tell Nick, but wanted it to be on her terms. Too many times she felt pushed to do something she wasn’t ready for.
(Y/n) grabbed her purse and stormed out of his office. Her lunch hour gone and now she had to pretend- pretend to be okay afterwards. She knew her therapist was right, but she wanted things to go back to normal. The days before Lewis. When she and Nick were happily married and could work together without any unnecessary tension.
She entered the squad room twenty minutes late as the whole SVU team was debriefing. The wrinkles in her blouse were becoming too much of a distraction even for (y/n). Looking as if she had rolled around on the floor for hours felt unprofessional. She hurriedly put on her royal blue sweater, pulling out her badge from her desk.
Rollins, Fin, and Munch looked between Nick and (y/n). Nick’s jaw tensed starring at his wife.
“What took you so long?” He questioned.
“Please Nick.” (Y/n)s voice went faint. She didn’t feel like hearing a speech or having an argument in front of everyone else.
“Then when?” Nick was becoming increasingly irritated.
“Nick.” She moved from around her desk reaching out for his hand, but he snatched it away. Black loafers stomped towards the lockers while (y/n) trailed behind discretely. She closed to door, looking out from the blinds to make sure no one was watching.
“Where were you?” Nick commanded.
“I had to do something for Liv.” Avoiding any amount of eye contact with him. She hated having to go this far. Constantly hiding the fact that she needed help, but afraid to admit it to the man she loved the most.
“Don’t lie to me (Y/n). I know Liv didn’t have you do anything. You come to work late. Barely spoke to me this morning- what’s going?” His voice began to escalate more. Surely everyone in the squad room could hear him by now.
“Nick, can we please talk about this at home?” He slammed his hand against the locker behind her. She flinched slightly. Not out fear but the loudness of the sound echoing in her ear. Nick stormed off slamming the door behind him.
(Y/n) could feel the tears well up in her eyes. When she heard the door squeal, she hoped it was Nick coming back to comfort her. Instead, it was Carisi. She wiped her eyes trying not to make more of a scene then necessary.
“Oh God, (y/n), are you okay?” Carisi walked up to her trying to get her to look him in the eye. He rubbed her arm seeing the tears slide down onto her cheeks and drop to the floor.
“Nick’s upset with me.” She kept shaking her head as the tears kept coming. Carisi pulled her in for a hug. She held him tight as her emotions involuntarily came rushing out. All the pressure to pretend was starting to catch up with her.
Nick was making his way back to (y/n) when he saw the scene unfold. He didn’t care for Carisi to began with, and seeing him with his arms warmly around his wife didn’t make it any better.
Carisi was abruptly shoved into the locker. (Y/n) didn’t even have enough time to react before her forearm was yanked over by Nick.
“Stay away from my wife!” Nick practically screamed at him.
“Nick!” Olivia yelled. “Go home.” His nostrils flared as he made his way to the doorway bumping shoulders with Olivia. She saw the tears in (y/n)s eyes and didn’t want anymore drama in her squad room. “(Y/n) go home too.”
The car ride with Nick was awkward. He refused to say a word to her. The cold shoulder act was driving her crazy. It had already been a stressful day and Nick was adding to it.
They entered their home and Nick immediately made his way to the kitchen to grab a beer. He took a sip, feeling the coldness hit his throat. The clinking of the glass consumed to room.
“Are you sleeping with him?” (Y/n) was caught off guard by the question. “Are you having an affair with Carisi?” He repeated.
“No. Why would you think that?” Her voice cracked.
“You’ve been coming to work late. Your clothes messy when you do show up. That wasn’t the first time I’ve seen the two of you. If you like him, I need to know.”
“I’ve been going to therapy Nick.” (Y/n) quietly said. The tension in Nicks face eased. (Y/n) held her head down, biting the corner of her lip. “Lewis was worse than I described. I never told you because I always felt bad for you having to see me that way.” (Y/n) thought back to that night.
*********
(Y/n)s bare feet stumbled across the pavement. Cops rushed past her and into the house. She nearly felt invisible as everyone moved around her. Nick ran up to her. The blood from her forehead seeped onto his shirt as he held her close.
“It’s over now baby. He can’t hurt you again.” Nick placed a kiss on the top of her head. Her body nearly crumbled into the ground feeling the heaviness of her own weight.
She fought hard to make sure she survived. Bile moved up her throat before she pushed Nick to the side to not get any on him. All of this was too much. She knew how they would treat her with kid gloves. However, she knew Nick would never let her out of his sight again.
“Amor, we need you to get to the hospital.” Nick walked beside her to help keep her balance.
“Nicky.” She flashed her wide weary eyes.
“Don’t. When you’re ready.” He replied.
*******
Days had passed since (y/n) told Nick the reality of her life since Lewis. How everyday she struggled knowing he took a piece of her.
A wave of relief came over her once she told Nick the truth, but she still felt him slipping away. Maybe he too felt shame. That he hadn’t provided the support his wife really needed.
Nick opened the front door of their home. (Y/n) sat on the couch waiting for his arrival. She decided it was best to take some time off to get her mind right.
He took a B-line to the bedroom. Nick was still avoiding her. Even in her most vulnerable moments he was distant.
“Nick?” He immediately stopped in his tracks. “Are you mad at me?”
The tears formed. His brown eyes stared down at his feet. A hard swallow and cough filled the silence between them.
“I could never be mad at you amor. I’m mad at myself. I thought, out of all things you were having an affair, when all you needed was me.” He choked before sobbing into the palm of his hand. (Y/n) got up, wrapping her arm around his waist. Her chin pressed against shoulder blade feeling his chest forcefully move up and down.
“It’s not your fault Nick.” He pulled away, wiping the tears from his eyes until they are dry and bloodshot.
“I lost a part of you that day (y/n). Things have been rough for us and all I want is you to be okay.”
“I’m okay. I just need you to trust me. I need you to know some days I’ll remember more than I want to, and on those days I will need you more than ever.” (Y/n) moved in closer to him. Her hand stroked the side of his cheek.
“I’ll always be with you amor. Any time you need me. I’ll always be there.” He gently leaned in placing a kiss on her lips.
That Makes Two | summary: Elliot, now separated from Kathy, has started a relationship with detective (Y/N) but things come to an abrupt end before (Y/N) could tell him her big secret.
Part 1 | Part 2
Forgiveness | summary: Elliot goes undercover to expose a dangerous mobster, putting his relationship and (y/n)s life in danger.
Rafael Barba
Cold Winter Days | summary: Barba struggles with (Y/N) staying at SVU when she gets injured while going undercover.
No Secrets | summary: When (Y/N)s name pops-up in an investigation, Barba struggles with calling her as a complaining witness to testify.
Have Your Way | summary: (Y/n) develops a relationship with Barba, but her life turns upside down when he leaves- causing her to open her heart up to a new love at SVU until his sudden return.
Nick Amaro
Misunderstood | summary: Nick suspects that (y/n) is having an affair, but feels ashamed when he finds out the truth.
SVU One Shots
(Y/n) gets injured on the job
They find out (y/n) is pregnant
They are jealous of (y/n)s new partner
They have to protect (y/n)
(Y/n) suffers a miscarriage turning their lives upside down
summary: (Y/n) develops a relationship with Barba, but her life turns upside down when he leaves- causing her to open her heart up to a new love at SVU until his sudden return.
Barba was always a shadow in (y/n)s life. He was the ADA assigned to SVU after all. At first, she was reluctant to get close to him. She knew the pattern of ADAs were only temporary.
The members of the squad even started to come and go. Nick, Fin, Olivia, and Rollins had become the only constants in her life since she joined.
That was until she caught herself getting butterflies every time she saw Barba in court. The way he moved and spoke made her blush. She, for once, wanted someone more permanent to be in her corner.
A couple of small moments between the two made her want to know more. It wasn’t until she got the courage to go to his office alone that she finally had the opportunity to see if they could be something more than colleagues.
Barba packed up the files on his desk into his brown leather brief case. Long nights were becoming the norm. He felt more obligated to make himself available for any and everyone.
(Y/n) softly knocked on the door before entering. Hazel eyes trailed up her body as the corner of his lips turned upright. Paper continued to be gently placed in his bag to distract himself from her beauty. He too was keeping the secret that he found her both attractive and intimidating. (Y/n) annoyed parts of him that he found charming.
Ever since being in Manhattan, he hadn’t considered getting to know anyone intimately. Most cases consumed his attention, leaving little room for a relationship. Although he loved his job, he missed the company of having someone else there with him.
He walked from behind his desk and over to (y/n). His hand trailed to the bottom of his suit jacket to lightly adjust it.
“What can I do for you detective?” He said.
“I came here because we found a new witness that needs some convincing.” She shifted her feet around nearly staring down at the ground the entire time.
“Was there anything else?”
“It’s-“ She paused for a moment. One piece of her was screaming to say how she felt out loud; and, the other part wanted her to keep things professional. There was a chance that he wouldn’t even like her in that way. “Do you want to go out sometime?”
His cheeks turned pink. Being calm was slowly becoming harder. He could feel the warm smile plastered across his face.
“Do you like Italian food?” He countered. (Y/n) nodded her head in agreement.
From that point on they had been together. Nothing ever got in their way- not even the job. They spent nearly everyday with each other.
(Y/n) found herself leaving her clothes at his place until one day she was moved in. She knew the most intimate parts of him. How much he loved his family, especially his mother and grandmother. How he preferred speaking Spanish around and the house. He even had dreams of settling down, which came to a surprise to (y/n). She always assumed he preferred to be a bachelor with no serious commitments.
Even with them being together for two years, it never crossed her mind that he may want to marry her one day. The thought alone made her feel like she was on a different planet.
But everything came to a halt when she had least expected it.
There was a case that took a toll on SVU. Everyone had changed afterwards. They had never experienced a case this heavy before.
(Y/n) entered their apartment. Barba was at the kitchen table flipping through papers. Periodically, his pen would scribble down some notes.
“Barb, it’s late. Why don’t we just head to bed?” Barba looked up at her. Anger and sadness were hidden behind his eyes.
“Liv told me you’ve been taking a step back from the case.” (Y/n) sat across from him. She let out a heavy sigh.
“Yeah.” She paused for a moment to find the right words. “It was putting too much stress on me. I asked Liv to let me off.”
Barba’s eyes widened turning his eyebrows upward. His hands slammed down against the table, abruptly shooting up from his seat.
“Stress? You are one of the best detectives at SVU. We could break the case if you go undercover. We’ve been at this for months and you want to pull out the case?”
“I can’t right now. They are still doing the bust, but with a detective from another unit.”
He directed his index finger towards her. The case caused so much stress with the both of them. The tension was thick throughout the house. Most days (y/n) felt like she was walking on eggshells around Barba. She had never seen him this passionate about a case.
“You made the decision to leave the case. Great.” He rolled his eyes making his way to the kitchen.
(Y/n) didn’t feel like arguing with him. She was tired and debating on the right time to tell him the news. She had her reasons for leaving, but she knew Barba wouldn’t want to hear any of it.
“Barba, can we not do this tonight.” He closed the refrigerator door, twisting the cap of the water bottle tilting his head up to chug it.
“What is there to talk about, you’re off the case.” He placed the water bottle down on the counter, continuing his stride to their bedroom.
Days had gone by. Barba still refused to acknowledge (y/n). He had been angry before, but his pride and stubbornness were taking over.
The case ended up coming to a close with Barba making a stark decision.
When (Y/n) entered their shared home, everything seemed to be normal until she turned the corner to their bedroom. All of his clothes were gone. She ransacked every inch of the house to no longer find his personal belongs. Then, she saw the envelope on the coffee table.
She read that letter over and over again for days. How he could leave her, she never understood. She thought they were going to make it until the end. Everything about the house felt empty. (Y/n) had lost one of the few people who seemed to be a constant in her life.
*******
Five years had passed, (y/n) was still at SVU finally getting readjusted to life. Once she had her son, Enzo, things started to look up. Most of her time was split between work and being a mom. However, the hardest part was doing it all without Barba.
She never got the chance to tell him. She tried calling but would never get a response. She even tried going to his mom’s apartment, only to find she had moved. Now, she had a five year old that was starting to ask questions about everything. Luckily, he had not asked about Barba since Bruno had been around.
Nothing too serious had been going on between she and Bruno. He only joined SVU three years ago, but she had quickly grown fond of him. Bruno was good with Enzo, and (y/n) enjoyed seeing Enzo have a father figure in his life. Not to mention, Bruno fit the role perfectly.
Bruno placed (y/n)s coffee on her desk. She pressed down on the keys of her keyboard, focused on the screen in front of her.
“Am I still joining you and Enzo tonight?” (Y/n) smiled and nodded her head in agreement. The butterflies found their way back to her stomach. She stood up as Liv entered the squad room.
“We’ve got a case. Fin, (y/l/n), and I worked a case similar to this several years ago. There have been two murders that fit the same pattern.” Liv tossed the papers on Fin’s desk. (Y/n) immediately knew the case she was talking about. Her heart sank down in her stomach. “I decided to give an old friend a call to help Carisi.”
(Y/n) stumbled back when she saw who walked around the corner. Not only did they get the wrong guy, but the man she loved dearly was standing there in the flesh. Bruno grabbed her waist to prevent her from going back any further.
“Are you okay?” Bruno questioned.
Barba caught himself staring at Bruno’s hand against her waist. He had his suspicions that there was a possibility she could have moved on, but prayed she hadn’t.
“(Y/n).” Barba spoke.
Bruno looked between the two of them. (Y/n) grabbed her coat from behind her chair. She flung it across her shoulder. The sound of her feet hit the ground hard. She was nearly running out of the building.
Someone called her name in the distance. Her foot tapped feverishly while she waited for the elevator door to open. She walked in and hurriedly pressing down on the close button. Barba slid through right before the doors closed.
“(Y/n).”
“What do you want?” She snapped at him.
“I want to talk with you.”
“About what? How you left without a word and I had to pick up the pieces.” She shifted her tone from rage to sadness. The lump in her throat grew bigger. “You walked away like I was nothing.”
He pressed the elevators emergency stop button. A single tear made its way down her cheek.
“I don’t know why. I need you to forgive me. I understand you being mad.”
“Barba it’s more than that. I had to do everything alone. Somethings you don’t even know about.” She mashed the emergency button again so they could continue their descent to the first floor.
“I’m here now.“ He pleaded, gently taking her hand in his.
“Now is too late.” The elevator doors opened and (y/n) stepped out leaving Barba shell shocked.
She wanted to step away from the case but knew she had a duty to do. They had already screwed up, potentially having the wrong guy in jail and she needed to make sure there were no more mistakes. She meet Bruno across town to help him investigate.
No leads and she was running out of patients.
Bruno questioned her a little about Barba making sure not to dig too deep. He figured she had been through a lot for the day. She couldn’t wait to be back home and hold Enzo close.
Once she made it home, she texted Bruno to make sure he brought over a bottle of wine. (Y/n) placed a plate of food in front of Enzo. She slumped down in her chair and let out a heavy sigh. As she was about to ask her little boy about his day, the door bell rang.
Thrusting the door, she got that feeling in her stomach again. Barba’s weary eyes against hers.
“Can we talk?” He said.
She stepped away from the door. No better time than the present was all she could think.
When she moved out of the way, he saw the small boy sitting at the table. A perfect mix between he and (y/n). She watched his facial expressions and body language closely. (Y/n) gently closed the door behind him. Tears filled his eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He chocked.
“I tried.”
“He’s mine?” (Y/n) shook her head yes. His hand hovered around his mouth to muffle any form of a cry. He was overwhelmed by the news. The thought of him having a kid and not knowing about it never crossed his mind. “How old is he?”
“Five.” She hesitated. “He doesn’t know about you.”
“Can I?” Barba gestured towards him. Barba slowly walked over to the young boy who was still eating his dinner. He looked up at Barba and gave a small wave. Barba’s lip began to quiver. He bent down and pulled Enzo into a hug.
Barba stroked his little boys curls and smiled. Almost instantly, he understood what it meant to love something unconditionally the same way he loved (y/n).
“Enzo this is your daddy.” Enzo looked at (y/n) confused and back at Barba.
“Is daddy Bruno coming?” He innocently asked.
In that moment, it hit Barba that he couldn’t pretend like years hadn’t passed. He had a son who didn’t know him just as much as he didn’t know him. The woman he loved had moved on and all he wanted to do was take it all back. To have stayed with her in Manhattan and not let his anger get the best of him.
“Rafi, he doesn’t know you. That’s all.” She gently spoke. Barba stood up. He pulled (y/n) in by the waist and planted a deep kiss against her lips. He pulled away slowly.
“I love you.” His breath lingered against her lips as he spoke. He let go of her waist.
Bruno entered the apartment, holding up the bottle of wine in the air.
“Babe, I brought the wine over liked you asked.” Bruno paused in his tracks when he saw Barba.
(Y/n) moved away and neared Bruno. She couldn’t look at either of them. Barba stood there frozen. His suspicions were correct. He could lose the family that he found out he had all in one day to a man he didn’t even know existed.
summary: Elliot goes undercover to expose a dangerous mobster, putting his relationship and (y/n)s life in danger.
warnings: mentions of violence
note: a little different from my usual ones
“You have to go undercover again?” (Y/n) sighed as she slammed her hand down against the island. She hurriedly tried to walk around the corner, but Elliot grabbed her arm pulling her closer to his chest. Her eyes glanced over to side in a desperate to not look at him. The moment she looked his way, she knew she would burst into tears.
“Please don’t do this. You know how it is. You’ve had to go to undercover at SVU.” He pleaded. Elliot turned her chin to face him as he rubbed his thumb against her cheek. He hated seeing her upset, especially when it came to his career. Being in organized crime had changed the dynamic of their relationship. He wasn’t home as much and had experienced too many near death situations.
“Elliot. This time is different. The man you are going after is a serious criminal.” Elliot chuckled at her comment. “It’s not funny. If you get hurt one more time, I don’t know what I would do.” She wiggled her arm from his grasp and headed to their bedroom.
She laid down on her stomach grabbing the pillow to shove it under her head. Tightly she closed her eyes to drain out the noise of the thoughts running through her mind. She watched the lamp light flicker in the corner. A small sigh escaped her lips. The creaking from the door caught her attention as Elliot entered. He sat down next to her, running his hand up and down her back.
“(Y/n), why are you being this way? I make it home every time.” Her wide weary eyes looked up at him.
“A woman’s intuition.” She answered. For some strange reason a feeling in her body was screaming this time would be different. She couldn’t fully explain why. But Elliot was right, he always made it home. Regardless of how bad things got, he made it back to her.
“I leave tomorrow night. I don’t know how long it will be this time around.” A tight pain ran across her chest. It was never this hard before and it was starting to bug her more and more.
“Can’t they have someone else go? You always leave El.” The tears streamed down her face. She didn’t want to cry like this. To come across as weak and not understanding. She’s been in his position and understood how important it was to get bad people off the street.
She sat up tossing the pillow away from her. Elliot could feel the pain radiating through her. Whatever hurt she felt, he always wanted to protect her from it. He pulled her in closer as she rested her head against his shoulder. Warm pinkish lips pressed against her forehead.
A small part of Elliot believed she might be onto something. Maybe he shouldn’t ignore her concerns?
******
Three months had passed since (y/n) had last seen Elliot. She heard from him a couple time through Bell or Olivia, but never directly.
While investigating with SVU she ran into him. Her heart nearly dropped when she saw a woman around his arm. The boss in charge, Tobias, felt it was best if Elliot got some arm candy according to Bell. (Y/n) had begun to fear the worst. One single question circled her mind- had he cheated?
Elliot was always able to set boundaries with the worst of criminals; however, Tobias was cut throat. He liked the optics of being a player and everyone around him had to be just like him- including Elliot.
(Y/n) got home placing her badge on the counter. She had one miss call from Elliot. His number had not popped up on her phone in a long time. It was odd to see, but the first sign she had that he was coming home.
She scrolled through her contacts to call him back. The other end rang endlessly. (Y/n) ended the call tossing the phone on the couch. She turned to the hallway corner, bumping into Elliot’s muscular frame. The picture on the wall fell as (y/n) stumbled backwards.
“What are you doing here?” She questioned, staring at the duffle bag in his hand. Five fingers wrapped around her forearm nearly lifting her feet of the ground as he rushed her back towards the front door. She was barely able to keep her balance with his speed.
“He found out.” Elliot panicked. (Y/n)s heart stopped for a moment. The lump in her throat got thicker making it hard for her to speak.
“What did he find out? Elliot what’s going on?” Her voice broke. The tears streamed down her cheeks. Fear consumed her.
“Tobias found out I was undercover. He knows about you.”
“Is that why you called me?” Elliot shook his head no.
“I lost my phone a couple days ago. I never called.” He replied.
The front door flung open. (Y/n) felt Elliot’s arms wrap around her waist directing her behind him. Her hand gripped tightly around the hem of his shirt. In front of them stood the tall man that Elliot had gotten to know very well.
Tobias slammed the door shut. Pulling the a gun from out of his waist band. The three of them exchanged glances. (Y/n) swallowed hard. It wasn’t the weapon that scared her, rather who was holding the gun. Tobias nodded his head towards the couch, directing Elliot and (y/n) to sit down.
They both sat perfectly still. Elliot was trying to assess the situation. Figuring out the best way to at least get (y/n) to safety.
“Do you know who I am?” His deep voiced asked (y/n) completely ignoring Elliot.
“Yes.” She mumbled. Her eyes trailed down as he sat in the sofa chair across from them. Ordinarily, this would look like three friends coming together, but instead it was becoming the worst day of their lives.
“You know what he’s done?” Tobias questioned.
“No.” (Y/n)s voice cracked. The beating of her heart changed its pace. She fought back tears. Her shallow breathing was only making her panic more on the inside. “What did he do?” She continued, reluctant to know the answer.
“He’s a cop.” A small part of (y/n) was relieved that was all. “And he’s been having an affair with my wife.” (Y/n)s heart dropped. Slowly looking over at Elliot, whose blue eyes had gone cold.
“What is he talking about?” Elliot tried to grab her arm, but she yanked away before he could get to it. She stood up from the couch. A familiar lump found its way back to her throat. “Did you cheat?”
“Did you Elliot?” Tobias mocked.
“It’s not what you think (y/n). I swear.” Elliot pleaded trying to inch closer to her.
She paced around the congested living room in order to think straight. A lot was being thrown at her. She had a stranger in her home and her husband, who she planned an entire future with, had betrayed her. All she wanted to do was leave, but she knew their safety came first.
Tobias stood up, placing the gun on the table. Elliot inched closer to (y/n). He discretely glanced over at the free gun not to alarm Tobias. (Y/n), although distraught, got the hint.
“How did you find out?” Tears continued to flow down her cheeks.
“She told me. I saw them kiss at my club.” (Y/n) thought back to the time she spotted Elliot with a woman around his arm while she was at work. “He was naturally charming and I guess my wife liked that. I thought he was being nice.” He trailed off. (Y/n) could tell that Tobias was hurt by it. Even the worst of criminals had a weakness. His was his wife.
“(Y/n), I can explain.” She looked down at Elliot. No words could leave her throat. All she did was stand there. A piece of her broken hearted.
“Anything else I should know?” (Y/n) was able to muster up.
“You should ask him that.” Tobias bent down and grabbed the gun from off the coffee table. He placed it back in his waistband. Tobias yanked (y/n) closer to him, smushing her cheeks together with his large hand. “I could hurt her. I could take away the woman you love Detective.” He shoved (y/n)s face back. “But now she will never trust you.”
Tobias walked out the front door leaving the two in silence.
Elliot stood up. He was praying on the inside that (y/n) would hear his side. Not jump to too many conclusions.
She turned her back away from him and began to sob. Her shoulders shook violently. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to stand much longer. Elliot turned her around. All he wanted was to have her back in his arms.
She cried against his chest. There was a level of shame being in his arms. She no longer knew her husband the way she believed she did.
(Y/n) pounded her fist against his chest and pushed him away. Anger overcame her.
“How could you?” She nearly screamed. Her chest rose up and down feverishly.
“It’s not what you think.”
“What else could it be? Did you kiss her?” Her eyes burned into his flesh. For a moment, he thought she was able to read his mind.
“Yes.” He whispered.
“Did you sleep with her?” She ran the back of her hand across her nose. Sniffling with each breath. The long pause was killing her. “Why would I think I’d be any different?” She whispered as she made her way to the adjoining kitchen. Only if she could crawl into her own skin to get away from him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Elliot abruptly got up following closely behind.
“I was the other woman when you were with Kathy before she died. I was stupid to think I was any different. To think you were different with me.”
He stared into her eyes. The silence was thick- suffocating. Elliot inched closer to her. He ran his hands up and down her arms.
“I didn’t sleep with her. You have my word.”
(Y/n) didn’t know what to believe. She knew their past and how everything began. Elliot wasn’t one to give into temptation, but he still had with her. Maybe this time was the same. A younger girl who brought out a version of himself that felt more natural than when he was with (y/n). She knew undercover jobs required a lot, but boundaries were in place for a reason.
“How am I supposed to move on from this? A man came into my home and threatened me; then, to tell me my own husband crossed the line with the woman he loved.” She dried her tears with her palms. A long sigh hit Elliot’s ears.
“I love you (y/n).”
“I’m sorry Elliot, but I can’t right now.” She grabbed her coat off of the kitchen bar stool.
Each foot clicked against the pavement. The chill in the New York air was the only thing to bring her comfort. She walked along the nearly empty sidewalk.
Suddenly, her body slammed against a buildings side alley. The pressure against the back of her neck felt like it could snap. She was yanked to the ground, causing the side of her head to hit the concrete. Every attempt to sit up was met with a blow to the side.
“You have that man of yours to thank.” Tobias said, before the loud echos of a gun shot bounced against the buildings walls. The sound caught the neighborhoods attention. Building lights and chatter consumed her ears. She tried to fight off the sleep, but could feel her body getting heavier until the world went black.
Elliot ran down the halls of the hospital.
He looked through the (y/n)s hospital rooms window. Tubes ran across her body. It was a lot worse than he had imagined. He felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder causing him to flinch.
“Liv, what are you doing here? Why would SVU be-“ He stopped himself from thinking the worst and panicking even more.
“It’s not like that Elliot. I came here for you. Bell called me.” He let a sigh of relief from her response.
“It was Tobias. He came to our apartment. I shouldn’t have let her go.”
“He came to your apartment? Elliot this is very serious.”
“It should be me in there Liv. Not her.” A single tear escaped his eye and ran down against his cheek. The entire night he had tried to be strong, but there was a chance he could lose the woman who meant to the most to him.
“You didn’t know this would happen.”
“He threatened her. He was mad at me and took it out on her.” The tears continued to flow down his face dropping onto his shirt.
“Why was he mad at you?”
“I slept with his wife. I lied.” He paused watching Olivia’s eyes grow wide. “She won’t forgive me for this.”
summary: Bobby is scared to take the next steps in his relationship with (y/n) out of fear that he will bring “bad luck” to her.
Bobby stared at (y/n) smiling as she twirled the spaghetti noodles with her fork. Everything in his life suddenly felt completely. It had been several years since he had lost his wife and children, yet he sat here with the family he had created at the 118 having dinner. Across from him was the woman he loved.
He and (y/n)s relationship blossomed unexpectedly. She was much younger than him and had assumed that Buck, Eddie or Chimney would be more her type, but she fell for him hard. It was after a long shift that they caught each other stealing glancing on the ride back to the station that sparked their romance. Neither of them felt the need to keep their love private. If anything they wanted the support and okay from the others. Bobby didn’t want any of them thinking that (y/n) would get special treatment because she was now the single most important person in his life.
Bobby continued to stare across the large table, steadily watching (y/n) laugh along with Hen and Eddie. Something about that moment made his heart skip a beat, but also caused a sudden fear to build up deep inside of him.
A byproduct of being with her was that he felt like her did not deserve her; and that his streak of bad luck would rub off on her. He tried hard to shake off those thoughts, but each time they came back stronger. This was the woman he wanted to marry. He had already bought a ring but something kept telling him if he made the big leap, he would lose her too.
“Cap?” Buck said, snapping Bobby away from his thoughts. Bobby’s eyes darted over to him. “Are you okay?” Buck continued.
Bobby’s eyes met (y/n)s, who, like everyone else, was waiting for a response. He quickly realized how long it had taken him to answer. The painful silence causing everyone to grow more confused and anxious by the second.
“Yes Buck, I’m good.” Bobby smiled before getting up to place his dish in the sink. He walked down the stairs and made his way back to his office.
“Am I the only one that has noticed he has been a little off lately?” Buck asked everyone at the table.
“Yeah he has been weird lately.” Hen reaffirmed, as all heads turned to (y/n). She had noticed too especially at home. He started coming home later and less quality time together. Not to mention the intimacy was nearly gone for the last month.
“I should check on him.” (Y/n) let out a heavy sigh as she stood up. Confrontation was not her strong suit. She hated whenever she and Bobby would disagree. It rarely happened, yet it left her on edge. He was never mean, it just felt out the norm for the both of them.
(Y/n) lightly knocked on his office door before peeking her head in. He didn’t even look up at her. She slowly stepped in, clearing her throat to get his attention. His eyes finally caught hers again.
“Hey sweetie.”
“Bobby what’s going on?” (Y/n) walked over to his side of the desk, resting her body against the edge as he turned to face her. His hand made its way to her thigh, lightly rubbing the fabric of her work pants.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind sweetheart. That’s all.”
“Bobby it’s not just work.” (Y/n) lowered her tone before daring to say the next part. “It’s at home too.”
Bobby looked away from her. A small part of him was praying the bell would go off and they would have to go on another call. It wasn’t unrealistic for him to have the fears he did. She was younger and he knew she eventually wanted to start a family, but he had already experienced those things and it ended badly.
The bells ring echoed across the walls of the station. Bobby got up from his chair. He took (y/n)s hand in his.
“We’ll talk at home.” He placed a small kiss on her forehead before they both made their way to the fire engine. Everyone was already suited up and ready to go.
(Y/n) felt as if she was left out of the loop in Bobby’s life. She was a big part of it and didn’t even know what was bothering him.
Every reason he could be distant ran through her mind. Maybe he was more stressed about work than he put on? Maybe there was someone else? Maybe he didn’t want to be at the 118 anymore? Maybe he didn’t want to be with her?
Once the engine was brought to a vault, they grabbed their gear and all jogged towards the house fire. Bobby gave out his orders leaving (y/n) to be the last one to get hers.
“You stay behind with me.”
(Y/n)s eyebrows pointed inward. She felt like a little kid being held back for recess. Why did everyone else get orders but she had to stay behind.
“Bobby, Chim will probably need back up. I should go with him.”
“No!” His voice escalated. “You stay here with me.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes. He promised he wouldn’t treat her differently, but the past month that is all he had been doing.
(Y/n) watched as the south side of the building began to be engulfed by the flames. Chim still had to get to one more person and without backup, it would put him at risk for injury. With no hesitation, (y/n) sprang into action, going against Bobby’s demands.
“Where are you going?” He yelled.
“To help Chim!” She continued her sprint into the building on the south side.
In record time, she and Chim came out with the young man they had been looking for. (Y/n) could feel that rush she had missed running through her veins again. She walked over to the engine smiling. Her dirty uniform and ashy face felt like a badge of honor.
Bobby stood there with his arms folded tightly across his chest. He didn’t budge. His face was stone cold.
“I told you stay behind.” He spoke only to (y/n) as the rest of the team tried to listen in as they packed the truck up.
“Chim needed help, so I went to help him.”
“I asked you to stay here. You’re sitting out the next one.” Bobby unfolded his arms, making his way to the driver side of the fire truck. Shock flooded (y/n)s face. She knew she made the right call and Bobby a month ago would have agreed.
Her bag dropped to the floor of their shared entryway. Since she wasn’t allowed on the last call for her shift, she decided to head home earlier. Bobby agreed that that it was for the best. The isolation from her boyfriend, who was also her captain, was starting to feel personal.
She got in shower making sure to scrub any reminder of the day she had off her skin. She slipped into one of Bobby’s old tshirts. He didn’t wear them often, and they eventually became hers. She liked the fact that most of them still held his scent. On her loneliest days he was always with her.
The clicking of the stoves fire started as she put a pan over the hot burner. Swiftly cracking two eggs, adding in the leftover rice with a little bit of soy sauce. She took her steaming bowl over to the couch and switched on the tv.
(Y/n) ate her dinner alone and waited. She waited for over 30 minutes past the time Bobby was supposed to be home.
The front door opened and Bobby made his way down to her.
“Now you’re coming home late? Bobby, what is going on with you?”
“Why didn’t you follow my orders today?” He countered her question with his own. She let out a frustrated laugh. He was still stuck on her wanting to do her job.
“Chimney needed help. I was doing my job Bobby.”
“Well your job can get you killed.” (Y/n) sat there looking up at him in confusion. They had the same job. There had been plenty of times where both of them could have lost their lives, but they managed to always make it back home.
(Y/n) stood up to face Bobby. He shook his head and made his way to their bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed taking off his shoes. She became his shadow, towering over him.
“I’m a good firefighter and you know that Bobby. You don’t think I get scared about losing you too? I trust your judgment and know you will always come home safely.”
“It’s not that simple (y/n)!” He abruptly got up, shuffling through his side of the dresser.
“Then what is it?
“I can’t lose you! I already lost them. I can’t lose you too.” Tears formed in his eyes. He tried to control his breathing. Nothing seemed to work. He rubbed his eyes preventing a tear from escaping. “I shouldn’t have you. I haven’t done anything to deserve you. I failed them and I can’t fail you too.”
(Y/n) walked over to him. Her hand planted firmly against his shoulder. She lightly pulled at him for him to turn around and face her. His head buried into her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist.
“You won’t lose me Bobby. It wasn’t your fault then.” Bobby pulled away from her, sitting back down on the bed. He wiped the tears from his eyes.
“I can’t help but think about our future. What if we have kids and I can’t protect them? What if we are on a call and I am a second too late? If I lose you, I have nothing.” The tears continued to flow down his cheeks.
(Y/n) sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers. She lifted his chin, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
“You’ll be the best protector and father again.” She paused. “I think about our future a lot. I always wonder if what we create would light a candle to what you had. I get scared that you’ll realize you deserve more than I can give. You’re the greatest man I’ve ever known.”
Silence lingered between the two. Bobby turned to look at her. He gently placed his palm on the side of her cheek. (Y/n) waited for him to say or do something.
He leaned in kissing her. She could feel a tear from his cheek linger onto hers. Bobby deepened the kiss causing her to lean back some. She pulled away from his lips, pressing her forehead against his.
“I love you.” She whispered softly.
“I love you too.” He sealed it with another kiss.
A month had passed since (Y/n) and Bobby had talked. For the most part, Bobby had been back to normal. She no longer had to sit out on calls and the tension between the two was gone.
(Y/n) had the day off and Bobby was getting off early. She spent most of the day catching up on sleep. Although she was excited for a day with Bobby, work had gotten ínstense. She enjoyed the time to rejuvenate.
The front door opened as (y/n) was heading out of their bedroom. Bobby was amazed by her beauty. Effortless.
Bobby was already cleaned up and had bags of food in his hand from (y/n)s favorite restaurant.
“Why Carlo’s for dinner?” She asked. Bobby puckered his lips to get a quick kiss.
“It’s a special night.” He placed to food on the table. He dig through his pants pocket and placed a small blue box on the kitchen table. (Y/n) slowly walked over to him. She placed the box in her hands and opened it. A diamond ring.
Her hands covered her mouth. She turned to the side and saw Bobby on one knee.
“(Y/n) will you marry me?” She shook her head yes. Small jumps of excitement as she helped Bobby up. He put the ring on her finger and kissed her passionately. “(Y/n) I want this with you. I don’t want to forget them, but I also need to know how our future plays out.” (Y/n) nodded in agreement.
“I’m ready for our future too.” She softly spoke before taking his hand as he made his way up back onto his feet to seal their promise to each other with a kiss.
