assortative nonsense

an old (34). Honestly this blog is just a clusterfuck of a bunch of random stuff and really terrible text posts that I make to try and be funny. But, enjoy, I guess?

[promptcalender]

flower symbolisms to use

alyssum: worth beyond beauty

ambrosia: love is reciporcated

anemone: withered hopes

apple blossom: better things to come

arborvitae: live for me, thine till death

arbutus: you are the only one i love

asphodel: my regrets follow you to the grave, remembered beyond the tomb

bog-rosemary: bound by fate, will you help me?

austrian briar: thou art all that is lovely

catchfly: i am thy prisoner

clovenlip toadflax: please notice my love for you

daphne: sweets to the sweet

diphylleia: i will show my true self to you

eyebright: your eyes are bewitching

laurestine: i die if neglected

love-in-a-mist: you puzzle me

maiden's blush: if you love me you will find out

black mulberry: i will not survive you

white egret orchid: i'll be thinking of you even in my dreams

peach blossom: i am your captive

phlox: our souls are united

plum blossom: keep your promises

primrose: i can't live without you

queen of the night: enjoy small moments because they do not last

rhododendron: beware, i am dangerous

stock: you'll always be beautiful to me

tansy: i declare war on you

thorn-apple: i dreamed of thee

yellow tulip: there's sunshine in your smile

[Prompt Calendar: March 21st, Flower Day]

[certified-cervid]

Collecting kitty orbs increases your meow score

[dgeometric]

Every other site's algorithm: Here is an endless stream of content we have decided you might like. If you slip and forget to bookmark something, you will likely never encounter it again.

Tumblr's algorithm: Here is one post we have decided you WILL like. We are going to keep bringing it up, forever.

[pokemon]

Please handle Mudkip with care 🥹

[promptcalender]

Domestic Vampire x Human Shenanigans 🧛

“Bite me” becomes an insider to say as a go to insult

human locking vampire out by revoking the invitation to come inside whenever they argue

vampire either being a tech genius since they develop alongside tech or still sometimes being suspicious about basic things like lightbulbs

human being a history nerd and asking vampire to invite a fellow vampire who witnessed a historical event to quench human’s thirst for knowledge

vampire cooking up long forgotten recipes from different eras for human, who loves to explore new foods

they have a habit to feed each other: vampire enjoys the scents from cooking for human and human afterwards drains some of their blood for vampire

vampire taking human to underground supernatural festivities with a little tag on them so everyone knows they are accompanied by a supernatural, like tagging a dog so no one thinks it is a stray

human always helping vampire get ready since vampire cant use a mirror (ik technically vampires can use modern mirrors but let me have this)

[Prompt Calender: May 26th, World Dracula Day]

[pikaole]

🌸 Cherry blossom shrimp

[valtsv]

[valtsv]

[official-monsterfucker-posts]

Official Monsterfucker Post

[fuckyeahkitschy2]

[snoomfies]

snoopy pride flags :)

[kuromi-hoemie]

hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

[kuromi-hoemie]

this is what shipping discourse sounds like to me

[a-totally-reasonable-username]

@namelessennes

[avidreaderffn]

@sandstonesunspear

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

Jesus Tapdancing Christ... THIS is a good welt pocket and the people who designed Simplicity 2895 ought to be blasted well ASHAMED of themselves for the crap way THEY wanted a welt pocket made. *SNARLS*

[makereadgrow]

This is how I learned to do it and a good example of what you want to see in a short form tutorial: pinning, pressing, seam finishing, good fabric handling.

I would mention that you can make the pocket facing with a small panel of your matching fabric that is visible and the rest in a lighter fabric to reduce bulk. That's a lot of denim layers for comfort.

[sandandglass]

The Muppets s01e01

[le-sad-demiurge]

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Happy Pride Month

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[chronocrump]

[hailraykin-deactivated20230814]

Reblog to give mutuals a break from whatever they're been going through

[important-cat-pics]

[blackwhiteandbold]

@kittybroker

[kittybroker]

The bat collection a stunning array of fine freaks! Fly in and pick up the bat collection for only $19.29 today!

[brick-match]

Major pet peeve in my own life is that the brick and mortar on the porch columns of my apartment don't match the rest of the building. It's not something most people would notice at first or maybe at all, but it drives me crazy.

The brick on the building is an old sandmold standard-size flashed burgundy brick and a plain buff mortar in a flush joint. If I were to match these, I would use Belden Brick's Belcrest 740 bricks. Those aren't available in standard size, but the modular size they're made in will work because it's the same height. (Matching size exactly doesn't really matter for columns or other projects where the brick isn't going to be laid directly into the existing brick wythes (in fact, the bricks on the columns are a bit longer and a bit less tall than the bricks on the house)). I'd match the mortar with Heidelberg's Old Colonial, the go-to for matching older structures, from their Flamingo colored mortar series. Heidelberg's premixed Old Colonial could also work.

The brick on the columns is just over 8 inches long and just under 2 1/4 inches tall, so it's a weird size. They may have been "seconds", meaning the factory screwed up and had to sell them at a discount. That would explain the mismatch -- mighta been a 1970s Landlord Special. Nonetheless, they're beautiful bricks. A rusty brown color with ironspot texture ("ironspot" is somewhat literal: the clay and/or shale is mixed with actual flecks of metal, usually manganese these days I think, that melts in the kiln and makes a sort of glaze of freckles on the surface of the brick!), laid with an almost-matching red mortar.

These bricks have to have been discounted, because it shouldn't have been at all difficult to match the brick on the existing building. The reason for the red mortar evades me; colored mortars are usually more expensive than plain mortar. More traditional colors like Old Colonial are popular enough to be not much pricier than the plain grey. Idk why tf they woulda done red, except maybe to hurt me personally.

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

this is exactly the type of rant i signed up to tumblr to see