jonah.

ㅤ[pt-br/eng] he/him. 24. multifandom.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 47

LISTEN TO ME — 0047

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.8K

Just before nightfall, as the sun was casting its last orange rays over the city, Yoorim and Woojin returned to the hospital. This time the reception was full, which resulted in more work for the nurses behind the reception desk. Luckily, they didn't have to stand in line to ask about Jinah and Jisung — although Chan had been spending all afternoon sending very detailed messages to the group they created in the messaging app —, as Seungmin was finishing talking to a lady, probably going over a diagnosis, and, when she said goodbye, he soon approached the pair.

"Shouldn't you be gone now?" Woojin asked and Yoorim watched the intern's tired expression, who didn't seem to have the slightest intention of taking off his coat and going to rest.

"It's fifteen minutes before my shift is over," Seungmin pointed out, laughing softly. He might as well pretend to be busy and idle until he could leave the hospital, as Woojin suggested, but his sense of responsibility wasn't that foldable. "If even Chan hyung, who should have left at four, is still here, why am I going to stop working while I still can?

"Woojin has to stop thinking that everyone is uncompromised just like him," pinned Yoorim. The oldest of the three was so used to having similar adjectives attributed to him that he didn't care. "But anyway..." her hands seeped into the pockets of her dark sweatshirt, cold. Although spring was approaching, the cold of winter was still bothering a lot. "Is Jisung feeling better or is he still the same?"

Seungmin bit his lower lip uncertainly. "You better see yourselves."

Personally speaking, Woojin hated hospitals and avoided them as much as possible. He thought everything smelled of alcohol and medicine and he also repudiated the strange feeling of sadness hanging in the air like a mist; so, many details of the corridors Seungmin led them through purposely went unnoticed.

"Nobody said anything else about Jinah?" he asked as they entered the elevator. Woojin had no idea how half of the university already knew what had happened, and that worried him. The way the news was spreading was completely distorted from the original, and even he, being gossip most of the time, was careful not to say anything that could be interpreted even more erroneously.

"She's still the same," Seungmin said ruefully. "Looks like her parents will arrive today."

Yoorim never understood what it was like to feel genuine parent-child concern, but she could imagine how sad and desolate Choi's parents were at that moment. Though she didn't quite understand love, either, she could put herself in their shoes and think about what it would be like to see her father or Hyunjin in a situation similar to Jinah's, and only the distorted image caused her an agonized uneasiness in her chest that extend all the way to Jisung's room.

Seungmin opened the door carefully, and just like the other two times, Han showed no interest in looking up from his own legs wrapped in a blanket. Jisung's expression remained indifferent and all his actions were almost as slow as the serum dripping into his veins.

"So far he hasn't spoken to anyone but Hyoyeon, and that was before he knew about Jinah," Seungmin whispered. "You can try, but I don't know if it's going to do much good."

Yoorim stepped forward and nodded to Chan, only then noticing that he was there with a college book on his lap. Then she stopped at a comfortable distance from the bed and reached for a chocolate on the empty nightstand. "You can eat when you feel like it," she offered, aware that it must be bad to settle for the dull hospital food alone. "It's your favorite."

If Jisung liked it, he didn't make a point of moving a muscle to demonstrate. Yoorim wasn't upset about that. She had known Han long enough to understand his way of dealing with pain. As when breaking his engagement with Chaerin, for example, Jisung closed himself and arrogantly dismissed anyone who tried to approach. Here, however, everything was so exponentially stronger that he could not even utter any cursing whatsoever, and that was what really worried Yoorim. Suffering in silence was synonymous with drowning in your own ocean, alone.

"I suck at giving advice, you know that..." Woojin began, serious as it rarely happened. "But I think you have to think positive... According to my general knowledge of our friendship contract, I imagine you have already blamed yourself and been desperate because you're full of negative thoughts. And I also know that a coma is far from just a cold, but perhaps not as bad as it seems," he paused, checking Han's features to see if he was not accidentally making things worse, but Jisung remained neutral. "I can't tell you "relax, she'll wake up in a moment", because no one knows when this will happen, but nurturing the hope that everything will work out is much better than nurturing frustration in thinking it won't... Jinah needs you more than you need her, Sung. You have to be fine to help her out of this."

"I never thought I'd say that in my life, but I agree with Woojin" Chan got up from the couch and hugged the book to his chest. "Several studies point out that the line between consciousness and unconsciousness is thinner than you might think. I don't know if this is the case with Jinah, but there are people who go into a coma and still hear what others say and even respond in their own way. It's a way to help revitalize some damaged parts of the brain and it does very, very well."

"Don't interpret what we said as if we were trying to stop you from suffering, that's not it," added Yoorim. "You can and should suffer a lot, it is completely normal for that to happen, but giving up on believing is not an option, okay? Alright we don't even know what you are thinking right now and maybe the idea of giving up hasn't even gone through your head, but if this pessimism was there at some point, I ask you not to listen to it, oppa. It'll be all right and period."

Jisung didn't answer, but Seungmin noticed as he began to wiggle his fingers absently, perhaps pondering. The intern was still not comfortable enough to speak to Han as directly as his friends did, so he decided to just watch. After all, Seungmin was absolutely sure that Jisung didn't like him — and it wasn't as if he had no reason to do so, after all. Both approaching at the time of the accident didn't mean that the disagreements were set aside and now they were all friends. Seungmin couldn't forget that.

"Visiting hours have changed and I didn't know?" almost all eyes in the room turned to the door when a lady arrived with a white suitcase in her hands. She was clearly one of the hospital's most experienced nurses, and her smile was so tender it made others want to smile, too.

"It was my mistake, Mrs. Baek," Seungmin apologized, though the woman seemed to be just kidding.

"It's fine, dear," she waved a hand in the air, dismissing Kim's concern. Then she entered the room and left her briefcase next to the chocolate that Yoorim gave Jisung. "Only now I need to change this boy's bandages. By the way, weren't you two supposed to go home?" pointed to Chan and Seungmin. "Especially you, Chan. They said you could leave a long time ago."

"I'll be right out, just waiting for someone else to arrive," the future doctor replied, smiling small. "Be well, Jisung. You guys too."

Woojin and Yoorim returned the smile and Chan waved at the nurse before leaving. Seungmin also said goodbye quickly when he received a message from Chaerin, who would always pick him up at the end of the day, saying that she had arrived. The Canadian was going through the same dilemma as her boyfriend, and although worried, she didn't know if it would be good for Jisung to have her so close all of a sudden; so she was content only to ask and send positive thoughts to both Han and Jinah.

When Mrs. Baek opened the bag full of cotton, medicine bottles, bandages and a multitude of other products to make a good dressing, Yoorim chose to give Jisung more privacy, while Woojin didn't want to risk fainting if he saw blood, and so they went toward the waiting room on the floor, not far from the bedroom. Halfway through, Kim snapped his tongue in the roof of his mouth, and Heo knew he was about to ask something.

"What did you think?"

"He needs some time," Yoorim answered after a few seconds in silence. Woojin didn't need to be completely clear for anyone to understand that she was referring to the way Jisung was acting. "That took everyone by surprise, it really is a bit astonishing for anyone."

Woojin nodded and said nothing more about it. If he himself who had not even spent so much time with Jinah had been affected to the point that he could not even work without his mind often flooded with the same subject, then, Jisung must have been a complete mess.

The matter came to an end early when someone entered the waiting room with the speed of a rocket. Yoorim felt sick to realize that it was Yeji. It got worse as she grew closer, and Heo could feel the intensity of her angry glare, which, from so many people, was aimed solely at her.

"The analysis of the fingerprints found on the ring that caused part of the accident is now ready," she used her firmer tone of voice to emphasize each syllable, not even offering a good night before throwing the bomb. "They're all yours, Yoorim."

Woojin gasped as Yoorim went pale as a sheet of paper. Everything turned in Heo's head and she couldn't even express a reaction before Kim finally stopped coughing.

"What do you mean, you crazy?!" Woojin didn't take respect for authority very seriously when it came to Yeji, but, this time, she didn't care and just shoved a paperwork into Yoorim's chest.

"The evidence is there."

With trembling hands, the youngest of the three pushed the papers away from her chest and ran her teary eyes over the photos and paragraphs filled with relevant information contained in the sheets. The report proved that yes, the fingerprints were hers, but it made no sense! Millions of questions screamed in her mind, so deafening that she couldn't even tell them apart.

And without even letting her try to find herself in the confusion, Yeji, her voice dripping with camouflaged pride, pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her uniform pocket and finished announcing:

"Heo Yoorim, you are under arrest for attempted double murder."

a/n: first, I need to apologize. I should have posted yesterday, right? but well, yesterday there was a big rain and I ended up without internet all day, so that's why. but now here is another chapter for you guys!

and what pissed me off the most in the last chapter was the lack of depth in jisung's feelings, although it was planned long ago. it is my intention not to focus too much on everything he's feeling at the same time, because not even himself knows, and that is where there's the return of a character aka love of my life to try to help jisung. but anyway the description was horrible and I hated that ending.

in compensation, I liked today's chapter and this is a miracle!!!!!!! #protectheoyoorim

and well, don't forget that I love you guys so much, ok??? see you in the next chapter <3

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 46

LISTEN TO ME — 0046

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.7K

Hyoyeon closed her eyes and allowed herself to doze for the first time since sitting on one end of the small sofa in front of Jisung's bed. Her elbow resting on the arm of the soft furniture supported her cheek against her hand. The rings on her fingers bothered her, but she was so tired that the little red marks on her skin made no difference, nor did the sunlight streaming through the half-open window reflect weakly on the opposite wall.

It was about nine thirty in the morning and Jisung hadn't yet woken up. Hyoyeon had been there for a long time, waiting for him to finally open his eyes, but the fatigue of a sleepless night began to truly affect her, sometimes dispersing her focus. A nurse visited the room, hours earlier and offered coffee and some cookies along with a polite request for her to lie down and get some rest, but Hyoyeon just accepted the disposable cup and claimed to be fine. Now, however, it was more than apparent how much she needed at least one pillow to avoid the stiff neck the bad position would give her if she insisted on staying at it any longer, even though her last will was to open her eyes and abandon her own short and fragile moments of sleep. Anyway, those moments were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Hyoyeon jumped in place and was forced to straighten when she noticed the presence of a nurse, or perhaps a doctor, she didn't know.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," the girl apologized. Although her vision was slightly blurred from sleep, Hyoyeon assumed the girl was about the same age as Chan and Woojin. She was of medium height, had blond hair, and in her lab coat was a sign with the name Jung Jinsoul written on it. "I just came to know if you don't want to go to the bathroom or eat something. I'll stay by the kitty's side," she referred to Jisung with a minimal shake of her head as she said the last sentence. Her tone was so casual that Hyoyeon didn't even know if she was being pretentious or not, but the highlight was that Hyoyeon couldn't take the urge to go to the bathroom anymore.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she got up without question, determined to use the bedroom's own toilet. Her feet, however, stopped midway and she looked at the girl before saying: "Take good care of him, I'll be right back."

"Yes, ma'am." Jinsoul waited for Hyoyeon to close the door to approach the bed. She kept her arms crossed for the seconds her eyes traveled over Jisung's slightly injured face; finally, she let out an audible sigh. "It wasn't enough that pretty girl, now you too... What a sin, my God."

And as if Jinsoul's tiny intonation was the last thing left to penetrate Han's mind and finally bring him back from unconsciousness, Jisung's eyelids fluttered and he slowly opened his eyes. The natural light bothered his pupils for the next second, resulting in a grimace followed by a brief moment of dispersion until he noticed the serum needle stuck in his skin and the bandages on his shoulder. The intense pain spread through his head as memories of last night took shape. Jisung, then, ignored any discomfort as he quickly lifted his body and sat on the mattress.

"Take it easy, kitty," Jinsoul warned, though she made no attempt to approach to try to stop him. "You're fine, but not so much."

Jisung ignored her too and looked around the room. When he saw that no one else was there — at least not in his field of vision —, he had no choice but to ask the doctor: "My girlfriend, do you know if she's okay?"

Jinsoul parted her lips to answer, but was intercepted by the sound of the bathroom door being opened. Hyoyeon walked in quick steps and sat in a free space of the bed, then wrapping her son's face in her hands and checking to see if he was really well.

"Is something hurting, my love? Do you want me to call your doctor?" she asked, distressed. However, the last thing Jisung cared about at the moment was his health.

"Mom, I need to see Jinah" he took her hands off very gently, but Hyoyeon knew it wasn't rude. An almost palpable anguish was explicit in every trace of Jisung.

"You can't, baby. For now, the visits haven't been released yet."

"But she's fine, isn't she?"

Hyoyeon rubbed one hand in the other, unable to sustain Jisung's urgent look. There was a slight bruise on his cheek and a small bandage on his forehead, the latter almost hidden by his hair, and never had something so simple captured the woman's attention in such a crucial situation, although she only wanted to focus on anything but answer that question.

"Mom!" he insisted, becoming even more agonized over the delay.

Hyoyeon pressed her lips into a thin line and, finally, nodded yes. "She's fine, just needs a lot of rest," she lied. Her initial intention was not to deceive him, but she feared that Jisung wasn't well enough to deal with the truth. "And you too, lie back down."

"It's a lie" he found the obvious. "You don't even have the guts to look me in the eye to say that!"

Hyoyeon fumbled all over. She had about three seconds to make up another lie — one more convincing this time —, but acting under pressure was far from one of her skills. But if any bullshit would come out of her mouth when she opened it again, Hyoyeon would never know, because, before that, Jinsoul intervened:

"It's better to say it all at once. He'll find out anyway."

One part of Hyoyeon wanted to be irritated by the doctor's intrusion, but the other part knew she was absolutely right. Handling a time bomb seemed a thousand times easier than admitting the inevitable.

"Promise me to be calm?"

"Just say it!"

"I figured you would answer that" with one last breath, Hyoyeon let the tension fade. She took Jisung's hand and wrapped it in a warm squeeze, intrinsically saying that no matter what, she would be there for him. "Jinah fell into a coma, dear," she said lightly and tenderly, pausing for her words to be absorbed. "I'm so sorry, for real."

She waited, but saw no change in the boy's expression for the next few minutes. Hyoyeon didn't know how long they had spent in the same absence of reaction, but, after what seemed like hours, he swallowed and painfully clenched his jaw. Their irises darkened and the fragile glow, just present in them, faded away, replaced by something much harder and sharper — that's when Jisung locked himself inside.

Hyoyeon felt his hand break away from hers. She was supposed to hug him, but, she didn't have the guts again. Of all the returns, this was what she least expected to receive, because, in all her life, Hyoyeon had never seen Jisung look so cold.

"Do you want to see her?" Jinsoul broke the heavy silence. However, not even her tempting suggestion was able to avert Jisung's impassive eyes from the white wall in front of him.

"I thought she couldn't receive visitors for now," Hyoyeon retorted, somewhat confused. Jinsoul just shrugged.

"I'll find a way."

Jisung answered nothing. His mother was startled when he took the serum out of care, got out of bed and put on the cotton shoes the hospital offered to the patients; then, he opened the bedroom door and left. Hyoyeon shot an insulted look at Jinsoul, who shrugged a second time.

"I'm just a physiotherapist, Mrs., Han," she replied and spun on her heel, also leaving the room. "Wait for me, kitty, I'll show you where it is."

The road to the ICU wasn't very long. Hyoyeon joined them at some point and had to work hard to keep up with the pace of the walk — reminders that she was no longer in her twenties being thrown at her face as her breathing grew more and more unregulated. She could only breathe normally when they entered the elevator, but not two minutes passed before the metal doors opened on a less crowded floor. Every room had a glass opening in the wall, so that people passing down the hall could see part of what was happening inside. Since most of the blinds were closed, Hyoyeon could see only one gentleman in one of the beds, until Jinsoul shoved her hands in her coat pockets and stopped in front of a completely uncovered opening.

"I can't let you in, but..." is already something. The physical therapist left the rest of the sentence in the air and waited for Jisung to approach.

Heart pounding, almost shrinking to a halt, Han shortened the distance from the glass and felt his legs go strong as gelatin as his eyes fell on the single bed. He snorted almost imperceptibly, and his rigid posture barely collapsed into a million insignificant shards.

This wasn't his Jinah, couldn't be.

The always smiling, mischievous face was purple and swollen thanks to the amount of bruises on her skin. Her equally injured arms were filled with bandages and threads that controlled her vital signs, the latter connected to the various devices against the wall. There was also a serum holder and a blood bag, as well as a thick tube attached to an inhaler mask that covered her mouth and nose.

Jisung tightened his grip on his jaw and stepped back, not crying, not showing himself even more useless than he had the night before.

He shouldn't have drunk, shouldn't have asked Jinah to drive instead, shouldn't have let her driving even noticing that the car was behaving strangely, and worse: Jisung shouldn't have been so weak when he tried to stop her to sacrifice for both of them, but he was, and now it was late.

For Jinah, he didn't want to continue to feel like the most failed person in the world. He was trying hard not to cry or to fall into utter despair — at least on the outside, since inside Jisung crumbled and the rubble seemed endless. He didn't need an exam to make sure his heart was bleeding, the absurd pain in his chest was more than enough. Stunned, he took one more step back, and his trembling legs almost gave way before he could muster a little strength to get away from it for good.

Jisung already felt as if he had lost her; consequently, he also lost himself.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 45

LISTEN TO ME — 0045

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.3K

Sae Murase was the name of the surgeon who patiently explained Jinah's complex case to her friends. She detailed the diagnosis without haste, letting the group absorb each piece of information carefully, even pausing to ask if they understood or wanted her to repeat it using more uncomplicated words, but, sometimes, she was barely answered, given that no one seemed capable enough to focus on her words and enjoy the gift of speech at the same time.

Suddenly, Murphy was right when he said that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time.

"Not to say it was all bad, maybe Jinah was a little lucky," the doctor continued her report, finally removing the white mask that still hung from her chin. "The two fractured ribs didn't compromise any of her vital organs, that already cheers me up. In fact, I noticed a tourniquet¹ on her left leg and I can bet that, by the obvious improvisation, it wasn't the ambulance crew who put it there." the doctor, then, looked at Seungmin, who swallowed the excess saliva. Just as Jeongin was Chan's internship instructor, Sae was his, and let's say shaming in front of her was the last thing the younger Kim needed at that dawn.

"She was losing a lot of blood," he said, a little shy. It's okay that a dirty piece of jeans and a half-burnt twig weren't the best options for rescuing someone in serious condition, but Jinah survived, at least. "I couldn't keep pressing her belly and leg at the same time, I had to improvise."

"I'm not scolding you" Sae's smile was so slight it hardly even appeared, but she was pleased with Seungmin's attitude. "Actually, you did very well. Congratulations."

The pride of himself after receiving a compliment was present in the form of a grateful gleam in Seungmin's eyes. He opened a smile as lightly as the surgeon's when Chaerin discreetly touched the base of his spine, congratulating him as well. It was something so small, especially compared to how important the rest of the situation was, but it still made him a little happy.

"What really worries me is the trauma," the doctor confessed, suddenly more tense. "We have done the tests, but it's not possible to predict exactly how she will react when she comes out of the coma."

Seungmin bit his cheek inside, remembering the blood covering Jinah's hair, the bruises on her face and how it terrified him — not from the image itself, but the inevitable consequences. There are cases when a coma can become worse than death itself. Seungmin, then, found himself saying a silent prayer that it would be different with Jinah.

"But will she wake up?" Jade asked, clinging to any loose thread of hope. "There are people who stay like this for years and years. Please, she can't."

"I have to be honest with you," Sae let out her breath slowly before continuing. "And I say I don't know when Jinah will wake up, but I know that if she does someday, it may not be as reassuring as it sounds. Brain injuries are cruel. Maybe she can wake up and stay the same as ever, but maybe a only thing out of place can make her a completely different person than she was before."

"Different in what way?" Changbin wanted to know.

"At best, there is often some long or short term memory loss, personality change and a bit of logical dysfunction" tired and with a headache from not sleeping well for days, and carrying all the daily pressure on her shoulders, the doctor surrendered to the wear and sat on one of the chairs. "At worst, however, it is possible that there is partial or complete paralysis of the limbs, as well as loss of sight, difficulty in speech, among others related to the senses. And of course, we also have the worst of worst, which is when the patient doesn't even wake up."

Woojin slowly shook his head up and down thoughtfully. "If your intention was to reassure us, congratulations, doctor. You did it right."

"Sorry for scaring you all with all these things that might not even happen" although her words said otherwise, Sae wasn't sorry, still holding the same serious look and soft tone of voice. "But it is my duty to keep you aware from now on."

Hyoyeon nodded without much force. She had listened everything with her eyes fixed on the floor and only raised her head again when she assumed that the Japanese girl had nothing more to say. "Are you doing everything for her, doctor?" she asked, then, and Sae didn't need much to understand what she meant.

After all, it was a private hospital. Everyone was aware that the state-of-the-art treatment offered there wasn't paid for on its own.

"I didn't want to get to that part today," she admitted, running a hand over the back of her neck in a shy gesture. Sae imagined that it must be horrible to have someone important going through such a difficult time and still be financially charged, as if the obligation of doctors were to pluck people's money for simple favors, and not save them for the sake of the profession. "But the answer is yes. I thought it wise that all treatments for her to recover faster should be started even before consulting her family. The decision to continue or not, however, is still up to you."

It wasn't a question of wanting or not wanting to continue. From what she had heard from Jisung, Hyoyeon knew that Jinah's parents lived in a dignified manner, but lacked a favorable financial position to handle the situation properly. Chan, Felix, Jade, Changbin, Woojin, and Seungmin could also fit into the same picture. In that circle, only Sooyoung, Chaerin, Yoorim, Hyunjin, and Hyoyeon herself had good money to help without affecting anything. However, though not in the same material proportions, but with the same goodwill and determination, the collective exchange of glances, leaving no one out, made it clear that the eleven were more than willing to do anything for Jinah.

"I'll pay her first night," Hyoyeon offered. It wasn't as if she wanted to completely lift the weight off Jinah's parents, but at least until they arrived in Seoul, she wouldn't mind taking over. Moreover, she wasn't only doing this for Choi, but also for Jisung, who could certainly take no other action.

"That's great," Sae even got up, smiling a little more willingly than last time. Later, she would remember to make everyone aware of the importance of having a health insurance, because it wasn't always you found friends as true as this group. "I shouldn't even thank you, but thanks."

Hyoyeon also opened a mild smile. "It wasn't us who just spent hours doing miracles to save someone's life, doctor."

"Thank God it wasn't us," muttered Woojin, then received a weak elbow from Felix on his back. "What? My body is just dust now, I'm dying of tiredness."

"It's almost five in the morning and you guys still have to go to college." Hyoyeon covered her mouth with her fingers, as if only then did she remember that. However, the rest didn't show much excitement to attend class in a few hours.

"I'm not leaving," said Jade, affected. She was so worried about Jinah that, if she could, she would live in the hospital until she recovered. Chan and Changbin also declined at the same time.

"Guys, you guys spent all night here" Sae watched the tired faces and the growing dark circles. "I'm not asking you to go to class, but at least go home and get some rest before you get back. Jinah's condition is serious, but she's being well cared for, I promise."

Faced with the silent reluctance that ensued for the next few moments, Sooyoung, though she knew no one but Hyoyeon, pressed her lips into a thin line before daring to complete: "I know how worried you guys must be now, but I say, from own experience, that Jinah's life has stopped doesn't mean yours need to stop either. I've been through this same situation with my ex-husband and spent three whole months by his side, unable to do anything. I was so happy when he woke up, but then I saw the confusion that my life changed because of carelessness and I still got anemia because I didn't take proper care of myself."

"Exactly," agreed Hyoyeon. "What she means is you all here all the time won't improve Jinah's health but only worsen yours. And I bet that, as much as you want to stay, no one wants to get a low grade in college right away now that you're about to graduate, and don't lose your job either."

There was a moment's thoughtfulness until Hyunjin sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "They're right," he concluded. "We can take turns and, if anything happens, and I hope not, we'll call right away."

"Anyway, I'll stay here until Jisung wakes up," Hyoyeon said, sounding more sad this time. "He'll suffer when he finds out about Jinah. I want to be around to hug him."

"I think we'd better leave, then," Chan suggested. "Seungmin and I have to come back in the afternoon because of the internship, so, you guys can work normally without having to worry too much."

Jade was the one most unwilling to give in to the rest her body and mind begged for, but even she had to agree that standing still and at the mercy of unwanted thoughts was far worse. The agreement, then, was collective.

"We'll be back early in the evening," Yoorim promised, already leaning toward leaving the hospital with Hyunjin and Woojin by her side. "Anything just call, don't forget."

Seungmin nodded with a weak and equally comforting smile. "We won't."

"You can go too." Hyoyeon softly addressed Sooyoung.

"Don't you want me to be with you?" the other woman replied.

"It's up to you, but I imagine your puppies are very hungry by now."

Sooyoung thought about denying it and saying it was all right, but the memory of not leaving even a little bit of ration in the bowls almost made her despair. "My God, I had forgotten about that! But I'll be back later, okay? Eat a little bit at the diner and take care of yourself."

Hyoyeon could barely answer before Sooyoung ran out of the hospital reception. The thought that she took care of the puppies as if they were her real children was something that always made Hyoyeon laugh. In her view, there was no one more amazing in the world than her little sister, and it was great to have her so close again after so many years away.

Hyoyeon set aside her fraternal sentimentality when she noticed that Chaerin and Seungmin were also leaving. She, then, called the couple back and, when they turned to look at her, Hyoyeon released a long breath and stretched the corners of her lips in a grateful smile.

"Thanks for everything. I thought you two were the last people in the world who could do such a thing, especially for Jisung. I think no thanks is enough to make up for it."

"You don't have to say thank you." Chaerin flashed a smile similar to hers, but it was obvious how embarrassed she was. Her mind had created a sequence of possibilities of what would happen when she met Hyoyeon again and none of them ended with her ex-mother-in-law treating her so well. Not that she was complaining, of course, but she was embarrassed. "And since we're here..." she hesitated, squeezing Seungmin's hand that was intertwined with hers. Chaerin got a squeeze back, as if Kim were encouraging her to continue. "I wanted to say I'm sorry... For what happened at the beginning of the year."

"Don't" Hyoyeon shrugged simplistically. "Jisung is better without you, just as you are better without him. In the end, you did what you had to do."

Chaerin didn't think Jisung was doing that well, at least not with Jinah in a coma; Hyoyeon thought the same, but she believed that this obstacle would be overcome and soon things would get back on track. Thus, the Canadian didn't retort and preferred to believe too. So they said goodbye, both keeping positive thoughts, since these were never too much and Jinah more than anyone deserved them.

Outside the hospital, Jade and Changbin, who walked in silence all the way, finally turned to each other. Their hands were no longer entwined, but any layman would be able to see the almost palpable difficulty they were having to widen the short distance between them. The mood wasn't completely strange, nor too uncomfortable; they just seemed to have lost the ability to communicate verbally. Perhaps this was because they were unsure what to say given the circumstances in which they met again, but the silent support they had offered each other in the last few hours was enough to replace any messy dialogue.

"Take care," Jade finally said, almost in a whisper. Changbin watched her for a few more seconds until he answered in the same tone.

"You too."

Hyunjin was already waiting for the american in the car while Woojin decided he'd get a ride with Seo this time around — or was just kicked out of the front seat when Yoorim, in her own words, said "near my man, only I sit". Jade and Changbin, then, said goodbye with a small smile and each went to one side. But they didn't care much about it, since they both knew this was far from the last time they had run into each other, both in the hospital and elsewhere.

The walk could be long and complicated from now on, but they had each other anyway, plus a dozen friends.

Step by step. One day at a time.

Tourniquet¹: First-aid procedure adopted to stop bleeding that couldn't be stopped in any other way. A piece of cloth or twine is placed around the injured limb, between the wound and the heart, tightening the binding as if strangling the limb, so that the arteries are compressed and the blood doesn't continue to flow. A branch or bar may be used to facilitate tightening of the tourniquet and maintaining proper pressure. It must be used as a last resort and, only, to control bleeding from serious injury to the extremities, when all other control methods have failed.

a/n: my cousin is studying nursing, so this week i heard her talking about this tourniquet and i thought it was useful to put it here hehehehe but really, it's very nice to see them doing it, but it has to be in case of a very emergency because it can hurt and cause a lot of issues if you don't know how to do it right

listen to me is also culture, okay

and i may be inside the biological areas, but i don't know everything either eh talking about the chapter now, i found it really shit lol but on the one hand it was good, as it is important nonetheless and i also found it right to let you guys breathe before coming back with the bombing (yeah folks, it's not over) tsk, do what

i'm leaving now, bye <3

[chnsfairy]

"whether i'm your bias or not, as long as you're a stay, then you're my bias and i will stay with you until the very end"

- bang chan, channie's room ep. 40

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 44

 LISTEN TO ME — 0044

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.3K

a/n: ok so i'll leave the notes here in the beginning so i can wish happy bday to the most beautiful and precious angel and sunshine of this world, kim seungmin! have an amazing bday bby, i wish u all the best! happy seungmin day!!

see u guys there in the end!!

Yeji uncapped a pen right after crossing her legs and resting a small notepad on her thigh. "Let's start at the beginning," she said, taking advantage of the silence and too much attention the group was paying to her investigation. "Han Jisung. Which of you had the most contact with him yesterday?"

"We talked in the morning and in the late afternoon," answered Hyoyeon. By this point, they were all gathered in an almost perfect circle. Perhaps the reception wasn't the best place to discuss, but, given the time and the fact that Yeji had a certain intimacy with most, though not in a positive way, allowed the exception. "It's hard to spend a lot of time with Jisung, he's always busy with college and work."

"Were there any mood swings both times you talked to him?"

"Well... He's naturally annoyed, but let's say at night he's more flexible than when he just woke up."

"Didn't the friends notice anything different?"

Hyunjin was the first to deny it. "He was normal."

"What about Jinah?" Yeji looked up after making a short note and examined the faces of each present. "Aren't her parents here?"

"They live in the countryside," Chan replied. He had been summoned back to the reception, which prevented him from continuing to observe Choi's surgery. If it was frustrating on the one hand, he could almost feel grateful on the other, since the feeling that he couldn't do anything behind a glass wall was a thousand times worse. "We'd rather call when dawn breaks so as not to scare them at this hour."

"How did Jinah behave during the day?"

Jade bit her bottom lip. "She looked apprehensive, but I think she was only nervous about the dinner."

"What dinner?"

"Last night's dinner where she would talk to Jisung's mom for the first time," the american explained. "She was nervous, afraid maybe Hyoyeon didn't like her."

"But how could I not like her?" muttered Hyoyeon. Although her concern was mostly Jisung, she was also worried about Jinah. "I hope she'll be all right soon, poor girl."

"I don't know if that's all..." said Changbin, hesitantly. Yeji raised an eyebrow in a silent request for him to continue. "Woojin, Yoorim and I were probably the last people she talked to before meeting Jisung, and I noticed that she seemed too tense to be scared, because she had seen Hyoyeon once and being so nervous around someone was never part of her way of acting."

"The first impression you two had of each other wasn't friendly?" Yeji asked Hyoyeon, who immediately denied it.

"I've seen her and liked her, and she also seemed to sympathize with me."

The policewoman paused. Her eyes searched again for silent information on everyone's features, and the way she lingered longer on Yoorim, as if controlling herself not to say anything, made Hyunjin straighten in his chair. Yeji always looked at his girlfriend like she wanted to strangle her, unfortunately that was common, but Hwang was especially annoyed this time.

"Did Jinah have enemies or anyone who could do any harm to the people around her?" she asked suddenly, staring at Heo for the next three seconds, until her long eyelashes flickered and Yeji took notes again.

Chan, Jade and Changbin exchanged a look. "A while ago, she was threatened by an ex-boyfriend" evidently more tense, as if only then had the hypothesis come into his mind and hit him hard, the medical student replied. "Jisung himself took her to the police station to make a complaint, then the guy was summoned, probably paid a fine and then disappeared."

"Wait" Hyoyeon narrowed her eyes and intercepted the policewoman's next question. "What does all this have to do with the accident?"

"It wasn't a simple accident," Yeji explained calmly. Half a dozen lips parted in surprise, but she ignored it. "The front of the car was wrecked after the crash, but, still, we managed to notice very significant details, such as lack of brake fluid, oil leakage from one of the power steering hoses and most surprising of all..." she smirked, as if she were about to strike a fatal blow, though she didn't show in who. "A small ring locking the serpentine chain which was getting tighter and tighter as the engine warmed up, so the car lost control. I must say that sabotage had everything to be perfect, were it not forgetting, or rather, stupidity, by its author who forgot to wipe the fingerprints off the ring. The results that point to the culprit will be shown today."

Everyone was too shocked to ask questions in the next few seconds. Believing in fatality was acceptable, car accidents happened everyday, but knowing that someone had premeditated it, out of sheer cowardice, was scary.

"B-but..." stammered Hyoyeon, almost shakily. "But that's impossible! Jisung put the car in the garage when he arrived at my sister's house and everything was normal. The only thing he complained about was the lack of signal on his phone and Jinah's."

"Did the car belong to Jisung?" at first, Yeji focused only on that detail. Hyoyeon nodded, confused. "And why was Jinah behind the wheel when it happened?"

"Jisung seemed to have drunk a little when we arrived for help," Chaerin said for the first time. Seungmin was sitting right next to her. "Maybe he had given up the wheel thinking about it."

"So, the target wasn't Jinah..." Yeji muttered to herself. Her mind was racing, almost as if she could hear the gears working fast. She looked at Yoorim once more, finding nothing she was looking for.

"What do you mean?" Hyunjin was already more than bothered by that.

"The driver's seat airbag didn't work, so, whoever did it, didn't realize Jinah would drive. If there's one certainty to all this, it's that the culprit wanted Jisung to suffer more."

"But it still doesn't make sense!" insisted Hyoyeon. "There's no way someone sabotaged this car without our noticing!"

"There's no security cameras in your house?" Yeji turned to Sooyoung, who watched everything without saying anything. The woman shook her head no.

"The place I live in is so quiet that I never worried about it, nor the neighbors, who are already all old gentlemen and ladies. My only alarm, by saying, are my dogs, but they weren't loose when we were having dinner."

"How not?" Hyoyeon turned to her.

"They just weren't." Sooyoung shrugged, as if it were an obvious answer, and it really was. The three furry puppies would never leave visitors alone if they weren't entertained with their toys in the back of the house. "I left them in the yard, otherwise they would be barking too much."

"Oh my God," whined Hyoyeon, covering her face with her hands. "I heard noises on the porch more than once, but I didn't pay attention because I thought it was your dogs! What an idiot, what an idiot!"

"There was no way you could know" Sooyoung tried to comfort her, although she was also distressed, and looked back at Yeji. "One side of my house has a wooden fence. It's too low, so I think if anyone tried to get in to the garage, it could only have been there. We didn't see anything because we were distracted in the dining room."

"With we were you included who?"

"Hyoyeon, Jisung, Jinah and me."

Yeji asked the next question non-stop writing on the yellowed sheet of notepad. "Where were the rest of you?"

"Chan, Jade, Hyunjin and I went to the cinema together," replied Felix. "We learned what happened only when we were back."

"Changbin and I stayed at Jinah's apartment for a while," added Woojin, trying to put aside the bitterness in his mouth for talking civilly with Yeji.

"And we were coming back from my mother's house," added Seungmin, referring to him and Chaerin.

The silence followed, being cut only by the noise of the cop's pen tip rubbing against the paper until she stopped her movements and brought her acid gaze to the last person left.

"And you, Yoorim?"

"I wasn't feeling well and I went home early," she answered right away, tasting Woojin's uncomfortable feeling, only exponentially stronger.

"At what time?"

"At eight thirty at night."

"Didn't Jinah leave home shortly before that?"

Yoorim pressed her nails against her closed palm and felt the sting of the scratches on her skin. She had been cornered by Yeji's smug glances from the moment she set her foot in the hospital and, judging by the dozen traumatic conversations they had at other times, Yoorim was fighting the urge to go far away from her, because no matter what she did, she knew that Yeji had the right weapons to always have her in her hands.

"I don't choose when I have a headache," Yoorim replied, roughly camouflaging her almost palpable distress.

"And you left..." Yeji paused her speech as her gaze became more pointed. Anyone could easily identify the aggressive touch of provocation in her voice. "Alone?"

Yoorim jumped to her feet and shouted: "What do you mean by that?!"

Her scream startled everyone, including Hyejoo, who was almost dozing on the counter. For the second time in the night, the nurse's heart almost jumped out. She assumed, then, that by the third time she would surely have a heart attack.

"Calm down, girl" Yeji was serene, but in her eyes there was a blaze of satisfaction for finally making Yoorim explode. "I just asked you something."

"You didn't ask, you judged me!" Yoorim retorted, not giving a damn about the scolding expression of the older nurses. The sign with the request for silence wasn't for nothing, but she didn't worry about it at that moment. "And that was very stupid of you! How do you think I would do something like this to my own friends?!"

"I said nothing," she defended herself, placing such confidence in the intonation that it seemed almost impossible not to believe the veracity of her sentences, but Yoorim could see beyond. "The only person who is condemning you here, is yourself. After all, if you have nothing to hide and keep your conscience clear, there is no reason to be so exalted." Yeji tipped the pen and closed her notes. "The living proofs of this are your friends. No one was affected when I asked questions, Yoorim. Just you."

Heo clenched her jaw. Yeji had given her the material and hoped that she would weave her own trap herself. "Fuck you," Yoorim growled through her teeth and backed away in quick, furious steps.

"Look, I can arrest you for contempt of authority, huh?" she shouted so that Yoorim could still hear, but received no response. "Stupid girl."

Hyunjin stared at Yeji with such anger that, if looks burned, she would surely be on fire, and got up to go after his girlfriend. He managed to reach her not far from here, for Yoorim, though angry, didn't want to leave the hospital until she had news.

"I love you, Hyunjin, but I hate your sister!" the girl said as soon as she had one of her arms grabbed by Hwang and was forced to turn to face him. Hyunjin wasn't there to ask her about her overreaction, nor to continue Yeji's small talk. It was explicit in his dark irises that all Hwang wanted was to support Yoorim, as he always did whenever her nerves were tested by the same person. "I hate her attitudes even more! If I could, I-..." she broke off, since, above all else, she was talking about her boyfriend's family. "Sorry."

Hyunjin hugged her. Yoorim buried her face against his chest and let out a painful breath. The caress Hyunjin had started on her back was reassuring, but she still felt as fragile as an eggshell.

"It's okay, my angel, I'd feel the same way too if I were in your shoes," Hyunjin said softly, sketching a calm he definitely didn't have a few minutes ago. "I'm the one who needs to apologize for often subjecting you to such situations."

"It's not your fault, love, I told you so." Yoorim looked up just enough to meet his eyes. "That's because she hates me too, you have nothing to do with it."

He was more than convinced when he put a hand on Yoorim's soft hair and made the girl hug him properly again. Yeji was complicated and made a point of turning all the endings into big headaches, and, on that troubled night, Hyunjin couldn't fit another fight with her, so he kissed Yoorim's forehead and decided to stay very close to her, which was immensely easier.

The hours kept ticking by, new people arrived at the hospital, Yeji left with the promise of returning in the afternoon and the weather got even heavier. Hyoyeon, despite having experienced so many things in her lawyer's career, wasn't content with the existence of such bad people as to plan the bad of others and endanger them so coldly. She felt physical pain at the thought that it might be her son fighting death in that operating room, but the fact that it wasn't him minimized almost nothing. Hyoyeon wondered how Jisung would suffer if something happened to Jinah, as did her parents and friends. It was then that she promised herself that she wouldn't rest until she could put the responsible in jail for as long as possible, since it seemed the height of the unjust to destroy so many joys and not suffer equally proportionate consequences.

When it was exactly four-twenty-three in the morning, controlled steps announced the arrival of someone else. Finally, the doctor in charge of Jinah entered the reception, prompting the group to get up quickly. The woman was young and didn't seem to have graduated long ago, but the seriousness of her apparently Japanese features denoted her responsibility. Her black hair in a ponytail was damp and there were still a few drops of sweat on her forehead. She hadn't even bothered to take off her surgeon's clothes before expelling a discouraged salute and finally announcing the result of her long, last hours of continuous effort.

And from so many things she had to say, the doctor immediately chose what everyone else feared to hear: "I'm sorry, but Jinah fell into a coma."

a/n: oh, i can't believe i was able to deliver this chapter to you guys on time, but i'm kind of pissed at myself because i wrote it as fast as possible. but i wanted to write soon so as not to leave anyone waiting, so sorry if this is not very good

and yes, i don't know if you guys assumed jinah's coma, but here we are. but know that all is not lost and as i said before there is still a long way to go

finally, forgive the possible errors. i'll be back asap <3

and again, HAPPY BDAY TO MY BABY SEUNGMIN!!!! <3

[bluehhj]

listen to me masterlist

PART 1; 

   ↳  FROM CHAPTER 0001 TO CHAPTER 0040

PART 2;

   ↳  FROM CHAPTER 0041 TO CHAPTER ----

[bluehhj]

listen to me masterlist - pt. 2

chapter 41  |  chapter 42  |  chapter 43  |  chapter 44  | chapter 45 |

chapter 46  |  chapter 47  | chapter 48

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 43

LISTEN TO ME — 0043

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.8K

Hyunjin sat and stared at the floor in a static way, as if only his body were there while his soul drifted away. Though several people circled around him, the hospital's silence was morbid and equally deafening, so that even the ticking of the clock on the opposite wall seemed to echo too loudly. And speaking of the latter, the dark hands that belonged to it marked exactly one in the morning. No news. Nothing at all.

It wasn't Woojin's personality to be silent for so long. He enjoyed telling jokes, talking loudly, making jokes, teasing his friends — anything was valid as long as serious moods were broken and smiles broke out from affected moods. Stormy atmospheres distressed him, yet, the situation was so, but so heavy, that he didn't even know what to say. The words seemed to lose all meaning, leaving only a hidden message that the silence might be less worse.

Chan and Seungmin, as hospital staff, tried to use their references over and over to at least get a peek into the operating room, but it was no use. Seungmin shouldn't worry so much, after all, he never made any kind of relationship with that group of friends — except for Woojin, who used to call him to chat on Sundays —, yet, the possibility of going home without receiving any solid diagnosis was out of the question for reasons he couldn't even see the need to understand. He was just there, steady, and would stay the same until the end.

Chaerin didn't think otherwise. Although Jisung had forgiven her, she still felt like she owed something. On closer examination, perhaps such a debt would finally be settled, since, if it hadn't been for Seungmin's little brother's birthday and the two had not gone to Mrs. Kim's house, and had chosen to take that same road as their return route, Jinah and Jisung could be much worse. Still, she thought Han was the last person in the world who deserved to go through what was happening. One loss of love had been enough, he didn't need two.

Changbin was still recovering from the scare. When Woojin called him, he thought it was some bad prank or joke — not that he had processed everything completely now, but, he forced himself to keep his thoughts in the right place and his feeling of positivity intact. Occasionally, hypotheses began to surface in his mind and, without even a clue what the resolutions were, Changbin was angry, for considering the possibility that Jinah had forgotten her seat belt after so many warnings about, his blood boiled. That's because Seo had no idea of the accident; if Jinah was really in a belt or not; if it was really an accident or some recklessness. In short, silence was widespread mental torture.

Hurried footsteps of thin heels aroused the attention of those present at the hospital's silent reception. The others turned their faces and saw the sight of a blond figure who just stood in front of the counter, not caring about the volume of her voice or the scare that the unprepared nurse took: "You have five seconds to tell me how my son is!"

Sooyoung was running right behind. She was wearing flat shoes, which should give her a certain advantage over her sister, but after being reported, Hyoyeon seemed tireless and unbeatable like a robot.

"Oh, my heart," the nurse said with her hand on her chest. On a badge attached to her lab coat was the name Son Hyejoo. "I see I'm still going to die in this place."

"It's been three seconds!" Hyoyeon kept pushing. Sooyoung touched her arm in a silent plea for her to calm down, but was promptly ignored.

"What's his name?"

"Han Jisung."

The noise of the keys under Hyejoo's fingers was nerve-wracking as she searched the system. Twenty seconds have never seemed so long in the history of mankind.

"He came in at 11:58 PM, but our floor hasn't yet received any news. You can sit and wait with the others, it is likely that-..."

"I don't want to know what's likely or not," interrupted Hyoyeon. "I want you to take advantage of your lack of what to do here, get up and check it out."

"That's not true, I have a lot to do now."

"Your phone unlocked in Candy Crush says you don't."

Hyejoo clenched her jaw and looked down at the bottom of the counter. Her finger deftly turned off the screen of the device. She was caught in the act!

"Okay, but, still, I can't leave the reception alone. I'm sorry."

"Girl, this is just the flies!" Hyoyeon gestured with her arms. "Nobody wants to steal your aspirin, you could be a little more nicer!"

And of all the times Hyejoo saw her boyfriend entering the reception, that one undoubtedly made her happiest.

"Okay, Mrs., your news has just arrived," she said with some relief, pointing her chin at the light-pink haired boy with a clipboard in his hands.

"Who is responsible for Han Jisung?" the doctor asked and everyone got to his feet, but it was Hyoyeon who ran over anyone in her path and stopped in front of the pink-haired boy.

"I'm his mother."

"Your son is out of danger" breaths were released when he announced. "The concussion wasn't severe, it is likely that he's already awake in the morning. As for the left arm injury, I must say that, if the bleeding hadn't been contained at the first moment, the evolution to a hemorrhage would have aggravated the case. I don't know who did the first aid, but I have to congratulate on the agility."

Hyunjin squeezed Chaerin's shoulder in mute thanks, and Hyoyeon brushed aside the urge she had felt to kick the Canadian's shin from the moment she noticed her presence. Later, she should also say thank you.

"Can I see him?"

"It isn't feasible to interrupt the patient's rest, so, I ask you to be brief."

"And Jinah?" asked Felix.

"She's still in surgery," the doctor subtly lifted a corner of his rosy lips, apologizing intrinsically. "I passed near the OR just now and they are doing what they can."

"Jeongin, let me have a look at her," Chan begged. He used to have coffee with the younger boy everyday, since Yang was his internship instructor. "Please, she's my friend."

Jeongin pondered for a few seconds, but abandoned puppy faces were never something he was good at ignoring.

"Alright, hyung... Just don't touch anything."

So, Chan, Jeongin, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung — this one dragged by her sister — left the reception. The rest sat down again. They were happy for Jisung, but proportionally concerned about Jinah; soon, the tension-laden silence continued to fill the air. Except for the vibration of Hyunjin's phone, which looked more like a machine gun in the pocket of his pants. He, then, withdrew from the group of friends to answer his sister, who hadn't been in touch with him for two months. Judging from this, Hyunjin had no doubt about the high importance of whatever Yeji had to say to him.

"Have you heard what happened to your friend?", she asked immediately, not even making room for a 'hello', 'how long' or 'good evening'.

"Yeah" Hyunjin wasn't friendly at all either. That was how the two had worked since they met. "I'm in the hospital."

"Alone?"

"No, the others and Jisung's mom are here."

"Don't let these people out, I'm coming."

"Why? You don't even like them."

"It happens, darling, that I'm working, and things are more serious than you might think."

Then the call was terminated by Yeji herself. Hyunjin was surprised, of course, but, considering that no one seemed willing to take their foot off that hospital before things worked out for Jinah, too, he decided to be quiet until his sister arrived and explained further.

It all seemed so upside down that Hyunjin only remembered to ask how Yoorim was when he sat back next to her. Heo was wearing a huge pink sweatshirt, practically wearing it as a dress, and her arms were crossed, staring at her sneakers as if something about them was too interesting.

"Did you get better?" Hwang asked softly. His voice could only penetrate the girl's consciousness after a few seconds.

"What?"

"Woojin hyung said you had a headache, so you went home early."

"Ah, it's true" Yoorim was so airy that, for a moment, she forgot about the migraine that caught her off guard earlier. Tired of spending so much time in the same position, she turned on the couch and hugged Hyunjin, laying her head on his shoulder. The boy returned the hug and left a peck on her forehead. "I'm better now. I think it was the fries, they almost always make me that way."

"Rest, baby. Anything I call you."

And being so well accommodated to Hwang, Yoorim closed her eyes and didn't think twice before agreeing.

On the other side, Changbin again looked at Jade without her noticing. Alone and sitting in one of the farthest sets of chairs, the brown-haired girl with two single blond locks at the front used both hands to cover her face. Dealing with the disastrous breakup of her relationship of so many years was already being very heavy, and now she also had to deal with her best friend being in grave danger of life or death. If a few days ago someone warned her that things would be so horrible, Jade would imagine any hell but what she was experiencing. Suddenly, she felt like disappearing, or maybe crying until there was no liquid left in her body. Her eyes burned.

Changbin took a deep breath and stood up. He said nothing, just walked toward the girl and bent down in front of her. His hands gripped the hands of others, and Jade jumped in place as she recognized the touch. Changbin hugged her, so tight she squeezed out a sob. The american didn't say a word either — it didn't seem necessary — and she buried her face in the crook of Seo's neck as she felt a gentle caress on her back.

Because, above all, Changbin and Jade were friends, and friends who love each other forget adversity and lean on hard times.

Time continued to pass, although the atmosphere remained the same. Hyunjin was playing with Yoorim's hair when he heard footsteps approach. His sister was very quick when she was interested in something.

She was wearing her typical black police uniform, her dark hair tied in a ponytail at the top of her head. Her keen eyes scanned the group, including Hyoyeon, who had just returned with Sooyoung.

"Good evening, or not so good," she began, seriously. "For those who don't know me, my name is Hwang Yeji..." she paused for a second, sharpening her hearing to understand the murmurs. "I know you would rather not know me, Woojin, I say the same, now shut up. I'm here to talk about the case I was responsible for, referring to Choi Jinah and Han Jisung."

"Case?" Hyoyeon frowned. "It wasn't a case, it was an accident. Wet track, I warned them to be careful."

"I'd say the wet track was the slightest problem, Ms. Han" Yeji pulled up a chair and sat down. "We have a lot to talk."

a/n: just to clarify, this suspense isn't completely intentional. the chapter almost reached two thousand words and if i put the two missing scenes to close this moment, it would be over four thousand and that would be well beyond my standards of writing, so i ask you guys to have patience

hwang hyunjin and hwang yeji, you two can end the secrecy at once and confess that you are siblings, everyone already knows, no use saying that you are only children

jokes aside, at first, who would play the role of the cop in this au would be hyejoo herself, but then i fell in love with itzy after much denial and decided that there was no one better than yeji for this girl power vibe, besides she being the perfect person to play hyunjin's sister, and i've thought they both look alike and here we are. by contrast, jeongin hadn't yet appeared here on LTM to this day and i'm so glad that i managed to fit our baby into the plot aaaaaaaa

and about minho, he’ll appear more in (d)lm, you guys will see in the next chapters of the spin-off, okay?

i'll TRY to see you guys again during the week. it's complicated for me cause i work at night and study in the morning, i think i've even said it here, idk, so there's not much free time left, but i'll do my best

i love you, don't give up on me <3

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 42

LISTEN TO ME — 0042

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.6K

Seungmin barely waited for Chaerin to park the car on the side of the road, and sped off. The Canadian also wasted no time and tried to call the ambulance as she descended the slippery ravine. The wet soil made her sneakers sink and made the task of getting to the scene of the accident even more complicated, but the adrenaline that ran through her veins made her able to get through all the obstacles and set the location for rescuers at the same time.

The lack of lighting also made a lot of things difficult. One of Jisung's car headlights was still on, but the pale yellow light was pointing in the wrong direction. Seungmin turned on the flashlight on his phone and didn't have to think about deciding who should try to help first, and even though he had attended several surgeries at the hospital and witnessed things considered traumatic for many people, he swallowed as he looked at Jinah.

The front window was shattered, and the driver's side door was so damaged that just one pull was enough to make it pop out. Seungmin was puzzled that only the passenger-side airbag was deployed, after all, it was a current car model and was supposed to work properly. His attention, however, wasn't on that detail for more than a few seconds, and then his fingers touched Jinah's bloody neck for some pulse. Seungmin closed his eyes.

On the other side, Chaerin had a little more trouble touching Jisung, since the other door was firmly in place and she had no choice but to finish breaking the already cracked glass. Kwon tried to raise the lock, but it didn't move. She eventually gave up on it when she heard Jisung moan in pain and struggled to punch the airbag away and allow Han to breathe better. His forehead was bruised and there was an ugly cut on his left shoulder which was bleeding considerably, but nothing too serious seemed to have happened to him.

Chaerin took off her sweatshirt, wearing only a white shirt, and folded the fabric vertically to stop the bleeding on Jisung's shoulder. The boy, who was, obviously, stunned, tried to dodge the painful pressure, but Kwon didn't pull away.

"Calm down, it's going to be worse if you move," Chaerin said, squandering a calm she didn't even feel inside. It was the first time she had been helping anyone under those conditions, she wasn't used to so much blood. "There's already an ambulance coming, it'll be fine."

"Don't let him sleep, Chae," warned Seungmin, focused on doing what he could for Jinah, even though his resources were scarce. "It appears to have been a concussion, his blood pressure must remain high so that there is no coagulation or lack of chemicals in the plasma."

"I didn't understand anything you said last, but okay."

It was as if Jisung's head could explode. Even though the pain bothered him, the feeling of helplessness and lack of processing in his mind was a thousand times worse. He had no idea how and why Chaerin and Seungmin were there, nor was he aware of the way the oak slanted after the crash. The only thing Jisung really cared about was Jinah and her snow-white blouse was getting more and more dirty with red.

"J-JinJin..." his right hand touched his girlfriend's arm, but she didn't move. The tears were already running free and salty down Han's face. "No, please, no. You c-can't leave me alone."

"She'll be fine, don't worry" Seungmin lied and forced a weak smile. His hands were soaked with blood that wasn't his own, which made the scene somewhat ironic in the eyes of anyone who could see. Anyone but Jisung, who was so bewildered, that he wanted to hold on to any hope, so he believed Kim's words very strongly.

Han's eyes weighed and he closed them for a moment. Half of his conscience wanted to stay active, but the other half was slowly getting lost. Realizing this, Chaerin fussed with his hair, warning him.

"You can't sleep now, Jisung. C'mon, talk to me about anything, just don't sleep."

"My shoulder hurts."

"I know."

"Then stop squeezing it, damn it."

"I can't," lamented Chaerin. "Blood is still coming out."

"Where the hell is this ambulance?" muttered Seungmin, almost sounding pained. Kwon watched Jisung's sleepy state and, before messing with him again, muttered to Kim:

"On a scale from zero to ten... How much?"

Seungmin met her gaze and knew she was referring to Jinah. Sighing softly, he answered using the same minute intonation: "Two. Maybe three."

"Two what?" Jisung wanted to know.

"Two ambulances" Chaerin brightened when she heard the sirens. The red and blue lights began to glow in the distance. There was little left. "Hold on."

Please.

                                          ♡˖°

Jade never thought she could cry watching Toy Story 4.

The purpose of going to the movies was to cheer her up and make her think of nice things that didn't involve her ex-boyfriend — it was so hard to talk like this about Changbin! —, but, when they settled into the soft chairs of the dark room, the american ended up comparing the company of friends to Seo's company and came to the conclusion that eating popcorn without having someone hugging her or stroking her hair was horrible! Not even Chan's affection, Felix's jokes, and the many candies Hyunjin put in her mouth filled Changbin's lack in her life. In short, Jade had red eyes when the credits started to rise. Maybe the snacks they ate at the diner, right after the movie, were the only really good part of the night, but, otherwise, she just wanted her bed and her therapeutic pillow.

"At least you smiled about six times," said Felix, trying to be optimistic. The quartet was standing on the sidewalk of the building where Kang lived. Hyunjin was the driver of the time and still had to take Felix home, but got out of the car anyway to wait for Yoorim, who should have stayed around after Changbin had left. "It's a significant value compared to the rest of the week, right?"

"Right," the corners of Jade's lips merely lifted. After all, she was happy for her friends' attempts. "Thanks for putting up with me."

"You put up with all my existential crises, nothing fairer," said Chan. "And thanks for the ride, Hyunjin."

"I'll charge you next time, just letting you know," Hwang joked, drawing a chuckle from the two boys and one more minimal smile from Jade. His attention was directed to Woojin as he approached the group, alone. Hyunjin, therefore, said, "I thought Yoorim was with you."

"She went home shortly after Jinah left" the elder one shrugged. "Said she had a headache."

"That's weird, she didn't even text me."

"I thought it was kind of weird too, but it's Yoorim. We get it."

The ringing of Jade's phone was the next thing to hear. She fumbled in her pants pockets and picked up the vibrating device. A frown appeared on her forehead as she read the contact's name.

"Why is Chaerin calling me?" she asked rhetorically and answered. "Hello?"

Woojin observed her reactions. From confused, Jade turned unreadable as Chaerin told her something on the other end of the line, then, turned pale as a sheet of paper. Jieun parted her lips and they trembled, her restless eyes starting to water.

"W-where?" she stammered in a small voice and, after a few seconds, muttered a 'thank you' and ended the call.

"What happened?" Chan asked, startled by her mood swings.

"Hospital," Jade gasped, not knowing what to do with her hands, or the words they wanted to run over each other. "Jinah. Jisung. Accident"

"What?!" Hyunjin practically screamed and was driven by the urge to run back to the silver pickup truck. Woojin forced himself not to be robbed by the trance state that came with the news shock and was the first to accompany him, followed by Felix. Chan had to pull Jade into the remaining seats, and then the tires sang down the street, marking only the most turbulent night of their lives.

                                                  ♡˖°

It was as if Chan was anesthetized.

Most people's biggest mistake is thinking that similar tragedies happen only to others, never to themselves or anyone close to them. When proven otherwise, ecstasy comes in much greater and devastating proportions. It's as if the floor is opening and an infinite void is ready to swallow the rubble, and as much as you blink your eyes and want to wake up, it's not a nightmare. It is real, solid as a stone.

Chan began to shiver when he saw Chaerin and Seungmin at the hospital reception. They paced, restlessly, and if until then he was having trouble believing what had happened, he had only to look through the couple's bloody clothes to have his last proof. Without even asking anything, Chan cried. It was stronger than him, much stronger.

"How are they?" Hyunjin asked, his voice screaming urgency. Jinah had become someone very special in his life, but, above her, came Jisung, his childhood friend, his confidant, his mate, his little brother. Hyunjin didn't want to lose him. He didn't want to lose them both.

"We haven't had any news yet," Chaerin replied.

"But you two were with them before help came! You're a doctor, Seungmin! Of course you know!"

"Jisung will be fine," the younger Kim said slowly, contrasting with Hwang's obvious agony. It was no cold matter, Seungmin was simply being trained to remain calm at times when the collective will consisted of throwing everything into the air.

"And Jinah?" Jade asked.

"As Chaerin said, we haven't had any news yet. She's having surgery now, but..."

"But?" in the face of others hesitation, Woojin encouraged.

"... But I'm so sorry."

a/n: you guys can interpret this last sentence as you wish hehe i'm laughing but i'll just leave it to you guys to create your own theories

i’ll be back soon, byebye <3

[bluehhj]

(DON’T) LOVE ME ˀˀ - TWO

(DON’T) LOVE ME  [“LISTEN TO ME” SPIN-OFF]

CHAPTER 02  ||  M.LIST

WORDS: 1045.

a/n: hey guys, how are you doing? oh, it took me long, huh? i'm sorry :(( but i'm back now. it took me a while and it wasn't even because of college, like, i didn't even go to college during those days because i was in the hospital, taking care of some health problems and i'm fine now and i came back to continue posting LTM and (D)LM. anyway, good read! 

and to remember again; the chapters are from chaerin’s pov.

I have always believed that, if something has to happen, it will happen, regardless of our consent.

There are people who call it destiny, but the name doesn't really matter to me. Force superior or not, Seungmin was there again, with me.

University vacations had arrived and I was still spending my afternoons at work. Staying behind the cash register of a famous fast-food chain wasn't my ideal definition of happiness by far, but the paycheck favored me well and wasn't too boring or tiring.

It got better, especially, when it started to rain.

I used to pay attention to the news and the weather daily; so, it was no surprise when the thunder grew louder in the dark clouds and the rain began to wet the asphalt.

It was around four in the afternoon, by which time almost every table in the store was supposed to be busy, but, I found myself almost alone, except for a small group of teenagers who were more concerned with eating their fries than with the storm or whatever.

Dealing with summer was never something I liked or could do without complaining. Too torrid days made me stressed and affected my performance in just about everything, so I constantly found myself begging for at least a few continuous hours of rain.

This time, I didn't feel less happy. The muffled sensation gradually faded as the winds intensified outside. I can say, too, that my appreciation for the summer rains grew even more from the moment I saw him through the door, his hair damp and a book in his arms.

It was the first time I had seen Kim Seungmin out of college and, as had happened in the auditorium two weeks ago, I again lost some of my natural ability to react.

"Hi, Chaerin!" he smiled as soon as he recognized me and approached the counter. "I didn't know you worked here."

It might just be on my mind, but Seungmin seemed less spontaneous than when we first talked. It was as if he was happy and equally hesitant to see me there, and I could understand that because I felt exactly the same way.

"I've been working here for a few months," I shrugged and smiled back at him. "How are you?"

"Wet" he brushed the strands off his forehead, set his book on the counter, and sat down on one of the high stools in front of me. "Today was my first day of work at the hospital near here and I feel like I've had the onset of a cold."

I quickly positioned the drink menu below his eyes. "Why don't you order a coffee?" I suggested. "It helps to warm up."

Seungmin pursed his lips in a lovely way during the seconds he spent examining the menu options, until he decided to drink an espresso. I took care of the order myself and it took me nothing to set the cup on the counter. Then, we were both silent, just listening to the rain for a while we didn't want to tell.

It was so comfortable being around him that even our absence of words floated me.

"So..." Seungmin cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. I was sitting in front of the computer, checking out the weekly promotions and the day they would end, but I didn't think twice about stopping and directing my full attention to him. "When you will marry?"

It was a question that caught me off guard and, unlike of when anyone else asked about it, I didn't feel excited about answering. "February next year."

"You must like this person very much to want to face the responsibility of a marriage anytime soon."

Seungmin was right. My best smiles came whenever Jisung was near me and I missed when we didn't see each other for a long time, because hugging and kissing him was something I thought I would never tire of in my life.

I liked my fiance.

Like.

I remember when my mother found out I was dating.

She, then, wanted to meet Jisung. They got along well from the start and it took no more than three dates for her to adopt him as a son. Even my father, who used to be irreversible when it came to my boyfriends, became more fond of Jisung.

But then, after Jisung and I started living together, my mother, after about a year, started telling me that it wasn't right to live with someone for so long without making a relatively more serious commitment.

She was talking about marriage; a ceremony that would be held in Canada.

The prospect startled me at first, for it wasn't a decision I could make without weighing the pros and cons on a scale, it was my future and Jisung's as well. However, the irrevocable idealization I began to make about marrying the person I was in love with was transforming my conceptions and, suddenly, I wanted to try, even if I didn't love Jisung yet.

I believed that love was such a solid and pure feeling that someone so young would never be able to understand it. I also believed that it took time to truly love someone, but I had no doubt that I would be able to give Jisung my whole heart as soon as the right time came, so I gathered all my certainties and proposed to him myself.

When he accepted, I felt like the happiest woman in the world.

So, yes, I had a firm answer to give Seungmin, just as I had to be proud to say it out loud.

But all I did was look away and nod. Only.

Seungmin was thoughtful and silence returned as he ran his fingertip over the rim of his coffee cup. I, on the other hand, let out an inaudible sigh and wrapped the ring around my finger. Sometimes it felt too heavy, but it was a weight that, until then, I could and wanted to bear. When I looked up again, I came across a smile on Seungmin's face.

"So I hope you two are very happy," he said, painfully sincere.

And I, for a little, didn't answer with an "I hope so too".

a/n: i didn't realize that first-person writing is so good until i tried first-person writing again. i feel more productive this way. still, it's bad because i can't add other points of view aaaaa. but i hope you guys don't mind that

ily and see you next chapter <3

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 41

LISTEN TO ME — 0041

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.7K

Hyoyeon, who paced the wide porch of Sooyoung's house, let out a relieved sigh when she saw a pair of headlights turn the corner. The first raindrops were beginning to stain the street, but the faint smell of wet dust hardly masked the smell of meat and spices that exuded from the kitchen.

― "Put the car in the garage!" ― she shouted at her son and pushed one of the buttons on the small control in her hand, thus opening the electronic gate and allowing Jisung's car to park next to her sister's. ― "You two took too long, huh? I was already worried."

― "It's not my fault if this woman chose the end of the world to live in," ― muttered Han as he removed his seat belt. It was a battle to find the right way, for all the houses in that gloomy neighborhood looked exactly alike. ― "That's because we took a shortcut down the road, otherwise we'd be running around by now."

― "I would have helped if you had called me."

― "My phone suddenly lost its signal and hasn't come back until now."

Hyoyeon scowled and checked the screen of her own phone. The neighborhood was a bit high compared to the city center, which always earned her a perfect internet connection and the like.

― "Mine's normal."

― "Must be the operator" ― Jisung's hair was starting to get messy from the wind. He threw the wires back and closed the car door after leaving it. ― "Jinah's isn't working either."

Just hearing the name of the woman whose, Hyoyeon smiled immediately. She followed Choi's shy drive from the other car door to Jisung's side and tried to use her manners not to look like a complete neurotic.

― "I said so much that, for a moment, I forgot you were here. I'm sorry, honey" ― and before Jinah could say an 'it's fine', Hyoyeon rushed off, ― "Welcome, okay? The house is yours! I mean, actually, it's not even mine, it's my sister's, but in the end it doesn't matter because it's all of us. I think this is a little confusing, but-..."

― "Mom" ― Jisung interrupted her. ― "Don't."

She, then, nodded. ― "Let's eat?" ― said before turning around and entering the house. Jinah laughed softly, while Han merely shook his head, as if he had nothing to say ─ and really didn't; so, they both followed Hyoyeon and also passed through the front door.

Whenever he visited Sooyoung's house, Jisung was very impressed. His aunt was so rich that, if she wanted to, could choose any mansion she liked and pay on real money, still, she preferred to share a common house with three puppies and cook in an apron full of daisies. It was what made her happy, then. Something hard to find in a world where capitalism always speaks louder.

― "Ah, finally." ― Sooyoung left the last cutlery on the dining table and took off her apron when she noticed the arrival of visitors. She flashed a kind smile in Jisung's direction and pulled him into a hug. ― "I missed you, dear."

― "Missed you too, auntie," ― he hugged her back and examined her sweet features after their contact ended. Apart from a wrinkle or two around her eyes, she didn't seem to have changed anything since the last time they met, that is, Christmas the year before.

― "And you must be Jinah" ― Sooyoung smiled at the girl, who immediately returned the gesture. ― "Hyoyeon told me a lot about you."

Choi blushed slightly: ― "She did?"

―  "But it was just good things, I promise." ― Mrs. Han set the bottle of wine on the table after pouring all the glasses and pulled out a chair to sit on. ― "It's going to get cold, don't you come?"

That's a good sign when your mother-in-law speaks better of you than your own boyfriend, right? Jinah had been very well supported by Hyoyeon from the first moment, she really had nothing to worry about. So, considering the laughter and such pleasant surroundings, why did she still feel so apprehensive?

                                                      ♡˖°

Jisung lost track of how many times he rolled his eyes and drank wine over it, knowing only that this was his third glass. Did his mother really need to be so indiscreet? What the hell!

― "Once he went to school dressed as a lion cub!" ― Hyoyeon was telling Jinah and looking at her son as if the latter were still a little child dressed in a cute costume. ― "I should have brought the photos, it was the most beautiful thing in the world!"

Jisung was right; leaving his girlfriend and mother together couldn't work out in a million years. They both adored each other so intensely that he couldn't understand, leaving only a few pounds of embarrassment and a merely drunk organism that was solely responsible for not yet allowing him to hit his head on the table.

― "Lion cub, how lovely," ― Jinah said with the same intonation used to 'talk' to pets, her lips projecting a pout that was characteristic of controlling herself so as not to pinch a cheek. ― "Did you roar too?"

― "Fuck you," ― Jisung was able to mutter, as Hyoyeon, random as she was, was distracted by Sooyoung about the chocolate pie the latter cited served as dessert.

― "What a rude lion cub."

― "Jinah, one more word and I'll eat you in the punch, outside."

― "With so many ways you can eat me, does it have to be right in the punch?"

Jisung glanced over Jinah's seemingly innocent face and was almost surprised by the girl's duality, just not doing so because he was more than used to it.

― "That's the way I feel the most right now."

― "Not funny."

― "Wow, it's almost half past eleven" ― Hyoyeon was startled by the time when she unlocked her phone to answer her crush message. ― "How long did I sleep?" ― she got up then, starting to stack the dirty dishes, as dinner was long gone and the four of them were just chatting.

― "No, leave it there." ― Sooyoung stood up too, but to prevent her sister from arranging the table. ― "You can let me do it myself later."

― "No way, look at this mess," ― Hyoyeon insisted, and in that Jinah and Jisung stood to help wash and dry the dishes. The hostess, however, continued to object.

― "Guys, I make a point, really." ― Sooyoung looked fondly at each one of them. ― "Hyo, this is the first time in years you've come to visit me and we end the night without a fight, and I love you so much, okay? Living here with my puppies makes me feel fulfilled, but, sometimes, it's a little lonely, and it was an honor for me to have you three here. This dinner is just a way to say thank you."

When she was done, Hyoyeon, who was teary-eyed, didn't hesitate to hug her.

― "I love you so much too, can I sleep here tonight?"

― "You still ask?" ― Sooyoung smiled. ― "There's a room of yours up there, you fool. By the way, you and Jinah can stay if you want, Jisung."

― "We have class early tomorrow" ― lamented Jisung. ― "But thanks anyway. The food was great and it gave everyone time to piss me off. Isn't it, mom? Isn't it, JinJin?"

― "Aish, the lion cub is a complainer too," ― Jinah scoffed, prompting Hyoyeon to laugh in agreement.

Jisung decided he wouldn't stress — no more — and went to say goodbye to Sooyoung, who was the only truly kind-hearted person in that house. Meanwhile, Hyoyeon took advantage of his son's distraction and pulled Jinah to a corner.

― "I just want to thank you for doing Jisung so well," ― she said quietly, holding a slight smile on her lips. ― "I imagined coming to the country and finding him in a completely different way, but, even complaining a lot and being grumpy from time to time, he looks happy in a way I've never seen before. I hope you don't get out of my family like Chaerin did, because knowing there's someone so amazing around Jisung is all I could really want."

― "If it's up to me, I'm not going anywhere" ― Jinah moved her impassioned eyes towards Jisung, who laughed at something Sooyoung was telling. ― "And I couldn't want anything else either, because you're so much nicer than I thought. Broke all that annoying mother-in-law stereotype, you know?"

― "Oh, good! I hate that kind of thing and I'm too young to be called an annoying old woman."

Jinah laughed, but both she and Hyoyeon were startled the next second by a noise outside the house. They were near one of the windows and, through the closed glass, they could see the dull glow of the moon that appeared just after the storm had passed. Everything was wet and dark; so neither could see the real cause of the noise.

― "These Sooyoung dogs are a problem, see? They mess everything up," ― Hyoyeon supposed, placing no importance on what happened. ― "Anyway, take care. Don't run too much and watch the curves, I'm scared to drive when it rains this way."

― "And this is the fifth time the day you say the same thing." ― Jisung joined his girlfriend and took the opportunity to say goodbye to his mother with a quick hug. It was a little clumsy, as he was still getting used to the new phase in which Hyoyeon was really present in his life, but it was also good.

― "I'm really worried, leave me alone. Oh, and don't forget to call when you get home."

― "I won't forget."

Finally, Jinah said goodbye to Sooyoung and the couple left the house, closing the door on their way out. Outside, Jisung took his car keys out of his pocket and threw them at his girlfriend, who complained in pain when the key ring hit her finger. Han saw it as a kind of revenge. No one told the girl to be so distracted, after all.

― "Drive for me," ― he said, leaning against the driver's door. ― "The wine made me a little drunk."

― "Looks like someone will be late waking up tomorrow."

― "I'm fine, I just don't want to risk it."

― "Responsible lion cub."

Jisung lunged at Jinah, but all he could do was land a kiss on Choi. They couldn't take too long, fearing the two women in the house would see something, but it was enough for both of them. Three hours could mean a lot of time for both, don't criticize.

Jinah took the driver's seat and Jisung did the same in the passenger seat. After buckling up, Choi stuck the key in the ignition and started it. It took about three seconds for the car to respond to commands, something that normally didn't happen, but was soon heading down the quiet streets toward the road.

― "Do you know what would be interesting now?" ― Jisung began, breaking the few minutes of silence. ― "Motel."

The car jerked slightly, as if the front wheels suddenly hardened, then returned to normal as if nothing had happened. Jinah frowned at both the strange reaction of the vehicle and Jisung's last speech.

― "Only if it's to get there and sleep."

― "But, baby, I already said I'm fine. Who almost lost control of the steering when I only mentioned the possibility of getting laid was you."

Jinah was about to reply that she had lost nothing and that someone else's car needed to get through the garage as soon as possible, but before that, Jisung continued:

― "I just won't insist on the idea because there are no motels nearby and it's too late for those who need to present a seminar tomorrow."

― "It reminds me that I have an evaluative exercise and haven't studied anything." ― Jinah turned the wheel to finally hit the road. The car jolted again, now because the brake had failed for a minimum second and the wheels climbed higher than they had demanded. Jinah ignored it. ― "One more defeat on my list, tsk."

― "It happens."

― "Not with you."

― "Ouch, why not?"

― "You're always studying," ― Choi replied as if it were obvious. ― "Sometimes, I just want a kiss and you don't even pay attention to me because you're too busy with the books."

― "It only happens once every ten of your attempts, you dramatic, I'm always kissing you."

― "You should kiss more."

Jisung laughed weakly, ― "Okay, I'll write that down on my agenda."

― "You better do it."

The silence returned. Jinah kept her eyes fixed on the headlamp track all the time, but as the speed increased, it was impossible not to focus on the speedometer for a moment.

― "Why are you running like this?" ― asked Jisung.

― "...It's speeding by itself."

― "What?" ― Han watched the 80KM/H hand move to 100KM/H and keep moving without Jinah stepping on the accelerator. By then, Choi had already stopped pressing the pedal and focused only on the brake, but the brake didn't work at all. Jisung began to despair. ― "Why doesn't it stop?!"

― "I don't know!" ― Jinah's heart was already beating like a drum. Her eyes searched the rear-view mirror. There was only one car behind them and the distance seemed safe to opt for a drastic measure. As such, she disregarded the nearly 120KM/H and pulled the parking brake hard, but the lever simply took off. ― "My God..." ― the panic was so, but so big, that she could at least express a reaction, and knowing that a sharp turn was coming only made it all the more terrifying. With that speed, it was obvious they would roll over.

Farther back, Chaerin and Seungmin were scared. The canadian had recognized her ex-fiancé's car and had no idea why he was running so hard.

― "Is he drunk?" ― Kim asked, uneasily in the passenger seat. Alright, Jisung didn't like his person and they never had reason to get fond of it, far from it, but, there were lives that were in danger. Seungmin was about to graduate in medicine, his concern was evident. ― "If they keep this up, they won't be able to turn it! What if he's with Jinah? They'll die!"

As nervous as Seungmin, Chaerin began to honk and even tried to accelerate to reach them, but it was too dangerous. The wet track made the wheels slide so easily, their intervention could be even more fatal.

A tear of pure despair ran down Jisung's cheek.

― "I don't wanna die, Jinah!" ― he shouted. The curve was just ahead, the pointer marked exactly 160KM/H. The adrenaline was so intense that he even tried to open the car door, but all four were locked and nothing seemed to be able to open them.

Jinah felt her throat tighten. She also wanted to cry, not only because she was about to die, but also because it was her fault. She saw the signals the car gave before it reached that critical situation and ignored each one. It was her fault, only hers.

Jisung couldn't die because of her.

― "You won't" ― and uttering each syllable in a shaky voice, Jinah put all her strength into the steering wheel ─ which had also locked at some point ─ and clenched her jaw as she struggled to turn it. A loud crash announced the success, and she took the mission to stop that car as if it were the most important of her life, and it really was.

The dreaded curve that would kill them both was forgotten when Jinah threw the car off the track and into the trees. The thin logs broke against the car at all times, but their focus was on the huge oak tree a few feet away. The wood was very thick and firm, surely enough to contain the impact.

Jisung realized what his girlfriend was about to do and, as if possible, was even more desperate, as they weren't heading straight for it. Jinah wanted to defy several laws of physics and hit only her side of the car so that the damage was mostly concentrated in one part and Jisung wouldn't get hurt so badly. Han's reaction to grabbing the steering wheel to stop was completely involuntary, and the two began to 'fight' for the steering in the next few seconds. However, Jinah managed to push him before the impact happened.

The roots of the oak tree crashed to the ground, one of the airbags failed, the engine died, and everything stained crimson.

a/n: god take care of my soul, because today i die.

i took a few days to post, right? sorry, but i started sticking my face in the books to study for the upcoming exams and i'm starting to write my final paper and this is leaving me little time to come here on tumblr, i'm sorry. but on this september 7th, it's Brazil's independence day and they decided to emend with the 6th, so i'll see if i have more free time to come here, okay?

anyway, about the chapter...

i won't even apologize because i know it won't do, i really want to ask patience. who follows the AU knows that out of 10 chapters i post, 8 are fluffy, 1 is a weak angst and the rest is just the rest, so this time i really wanted to do something different and heavier. this accident was in LTM’s plans right from the start and, despite all that is coming i don't regret it, as i believe it is another opportunity to try writing using new sensations and new paths, and that's it

i see you guys in the next chapters or is this the end of the line for many of you? there's still a lot to happen in this au, just saying huh

we end up here for today, hope to see you guys soon <3

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 40

LISTEN TO ME — 0040

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.4K

a/n: hey guys, I would like to ask you to pay close attention to the details of this chapter, it's important and nothing will be by chance. and I also want to apologize for the next one, really. I hope you guys don't give up on the AU or me. knowing the end, I wouldn't give up, just a tip

finally, good read <3

Changbin took a deep breath for what must be the twentieth time that night. Blessed be his patience, otherwise, he would have slapped his friends already.

─ "Think with me, all of this is a huge injustice," ─ Woojin began, shoving another jujube into his mouth. After Chan, Felix and Hyunjin took Jade to the movies ─ to get her distracted a little ─ and Hwang swore he would call ahead when they were leaving, Changbin, as long as he didn't bump into his ex-girlfriend in no point, agreed to spend a few hours in the apartment he used to live before the avalanche in his life, to be distracted as well; however, all he could feel being close to Woojin and Yoorim was the urge to jump in front of a truck. ─ "Why do people always make fun of the person who was cheated on if he slash she was the loyal one in the relationship?"

─ "I know right?" ─ Heo agreed. ─ "Isn't the weight of the horns enough?"

─ "Exactly!"

Changbin looked at Jinah as if asking for help. Choi laughed and continued moisturizing her lips in front of the small mirror in the living room. Today was the day she would have the opportunity to talk to her mother-in-law, and she hoped, with all her heart, that she would not have an attack until she reached Jisung's aunt's house. Maybe she didn't even need to be that apprehensive, but since she was warned about it, Jinah felt strangely nervous.

─ "I thought your intention was to cheer him up."

─ "But the only way to cheer up a person who was cheated on is to show him slash her that they're not alone, because everyone has ever been cheated on," ─ said Woojin, looking at Yoorim next. ─ "Right?"

─ "I don't know, oppa..." ─ the youngest of the four scratched her head. ─ "Hyunjin was my first boyfriend and I never suspected anything."

─ "Okay, so let's think about more experienced people. Jisung."

─ "Woah" ─ scolded Jinah. ─ "Don't talk about my man when he's not here."

─ "He was getting married, almost everything was ready" ─ Woojin ignored the warning as if it had not even been uttered. ─ "Want worse thing than spending money and being cheated on later? At least you didn't go through this, Binnie."

─ "Technically, it wasn't quite a cheating because Jade was fooled," ─ added Yoorim.

─ "Still, she kissed him, loyal she wasn't."

─ "Shut up, for God's sake." ─ Changbin ran his hands over his face, evidently frustrated. A loud thunder sounded in the sky, and, desperate to engage anything other than his relationship fiasco, he tried: ─ "It's gonna rain, look."

─ "Damn," ─ muttered Yoorim, turning to peer at the heavy clouds through the open window. ─ "Leaving home when it is raining is bad luck."

─ "Bad luck is seeing black cat, breaking mirror, late clock," ─ said Woojin. ─ "Rain is therapy."

─ "Black cats don't give bad luck" ─ Jinah scowled. She loved kittens in general and couldn't believe that such cute little animals could bring bad vibes to anyone. ─ "If a person's life sucks and it doesn't hit anything, how can the blame be on the kitten, who is just passing by?"

─ "I also think cats have nothing to do with it," ─ Changbin agreed. ─ "I just don't like going under the stairs."

─ "I always avoid, but today I was forced to do that" ─ Yoorim shuddered slightly. ─ "My dad's shop is undergoing renovation in some parts and there was a guy buying a bunch of weird pliers and cables, he must have been mechanical or whatever. His arms were so full that I had to dodge it so as not to knock him down something, and the only way was by going under the stairs."

─ "So you can go get ready for bad luck," ─ said Woojin.

─ "Stop, oppa! I didn't mean to."

─ "I don't believe any of this bullshit," ─ Jinah claimed after replying to Jisung's message, saying that he was already waiting for her. If before she still had some opportunity to run and hide, now she could only muster the courage she could find nowhere and face the challenge. An invisible force seemed to pull her body away from the door, it was weird. ─ "Changbin, leave the key in our hiding place — aka the mailbox — when you get out of here. I'm leaving."

─ "Okay. Don't forget your seat belt, you always do that."

Jinah nodded and said goodbye quickly, then left the apartment and entered the elevator. She watched her reflection on the mirrored surface as she didn't reach the ground floor and took a deep breath. She was wearing light-washed jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, the kind of clothing she often wore on occasions that didn't imply such whimsy, but Jinah wasn't tired of wondering if she was okay or should have opted for any other thing. What if Hyoyeon found her too simple and thought she hadn't even made a point of getting ready? However, if she was too tidy, Choi would surely think something like 'She'll think I'm like this just to show up, now what?'. It was an indecision that was no longer over.

The elevator doors opened and ended up scaring Jinah, who, so distracted she was, barely noticed the time pass. She stepped out of the mechanical cubicle and walked out the hall, then spotted Jisung's car as she set foot on the sidewalk. It was so flashing that the quick beams of light could be reflected perfectly on the hood of the dark pickup truck that was parked in front of the building where she lived. The storm would be violent.

Jisung was on a seemingly serious call when Jinah got in the car, but it wasn't more than thirty seconds before he turned off his phone and leaned down to steal a peck from his girlfriend's lips.

─ "Wow" ─ another peck. ─ "That way I'll fall in love with you even more."

Jinah flashed a shy and equally cheerful smile. Receiving compliments from Jisung always caused her the same butterflies in her stomach.

─ "I know I'm irresistible, thanks."

─ "Way too confident, too."

─ "Maybe," ─ the girl shrugged and listened to the music playing on the radio as Han turned on the ignition. ─ "70's?" ─ she frowned. ─ "You weren't even born, I didn't know you liked that."

─ "I swore it was playing 'Infinite' right now" ─ Jisung also raised his eyebrows, only then noticing the symphonic melody that abandoned the speakers at low volume. His fingers automatically went to the player to look for something more pleasing to his ears and Jinah's. ─ "Good thing my mom didn't come with us, otherwise we would have to hear it all the way."

─ "Speaking of which, why didn't she come?"

─ "She wanted to go early to help my aunt with dinner" ─ Jisung paused for a moment. ─ "She's kind of paranoid today."

─ "What do you mean?"

─ "I don't know... Mother's thing."

─ "I see," ─ Jinah smiled weakly, her mother was also full of these 'things'. ─ "Was her who you were talking to just now?"

─ "Uh huh. It's the third time she calls me just to ask if we'll be there before it starts raining."

─ "Oh, how cute" ─ Choi's smile widened. ─ "Although she's right, it's not very good to drive on a wet road."

─ "I don't like it either" ─ Jisung closed his eyes for a moment when he had to turn and the unnecessarily strong headlight of another car that was coming right behind them hit his face. ─ "But my mom is inclined to the drama and too exaggerated."

─ "Do you know I'm finally starting to think we'll get along?"

─ "I told you so" ─ Jisung laughed quietly, but was a little worried. Putting Jinah and Hyoyeon together might not be a very wise idea, it was too much sweetness for a single pair. ─ "Pity me, my God..." ─ he murmured inaudibly.

─ "What?"

─ "Nothing, I just thought out loud."

Something told Jisung that he would need the strength to endure that night. And how he would need it.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 39

LISTEN TO ME — 0039

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.6K

Maybe Jisung would never get used to that particular part of loving someone.

Considering the tiredness of routine and the irrevocable stress that accompanied the approach of the much-feared week of tests, on normal days he wouldn't be willing to lose several minutes of sleep to get properly woken up in order to look prettier or at least presentable in front of Jinah. No, Jisung liked to get up right after the alarm clock and put on the first sweatpants he found, not caring about the look of his hair or the dark circles on his crumpled face. What was happening in recent months, however, was completely contrary to his conformity, and the living proof of this was his indecision in the mirror at the present moment. Was that jacket good? Or should he put on a sweater?

If examined closely, Jisung wasn't supposed to be having such a dilemma at this point in the championship, since Jinah must have seen his poor personality from every possible angle when they were still getting to know each other, but things changed a lot suddenly and the feeling of being close always seemed to be the first time. Moreover, Jisung strongly believed that the days passed and Jinah managed to get even more beautiful — maybe it was just an illusion of his passionate heart, maybe not —; so the idea of taking better care of himself seemed far more logical and tempting.

Finally, as stated earlier, Jisung, while giving himself to new conceptions, would never get used to it.

Seeing that time had gone too fast on his watch, Han gave up staring at his own reflection and preferred to avoid an unnecessary delay for the first class that morning. He, then, disconnected his phone from the charger and slung his small backpack over his shoulder, heading for the bedroom door shortly thereafter. But when Jisung opened it, a startled scream erupted from his throat with the speed of a rocket.

One other thing he would never get used to: his mother in a bathrobe, wandering down the hall with a green mask on her face, an Avengers mug in one hand, and a phone in the other.

— "Boy!" — Hyoyeon ended up screaming too, as scared as her son. — "Don't look at me like I'm an alien, this cream is worth more than your kidney!"

— "Sometimes I forget that you're here" — Jisung justified himself with one hand on his heart. — "Even more like this, looking like an avocado."

— "Aish, you redneck!" — Hyoyeon was outraged. She had not spent a fortune on that tiny pot to be compared to an insignificant fruit. Too bad Jisung was too old to be slapped and she can't make sudden movements without the mask melting from her nose. — "I was going to tell you something important, but now I won't anymore."

— "Ok, see you later."

— "Wait a second!" — she contradicted herself as he walked straight down the corridor. Jisung almost smiled before turning to face her again. — "I was talking to your aunt, Sooyoung, just now." — Hyoyeon held up her phone. — "She was so happy to know that I'm going to spend a few days in the city that she even invited us to dinner, so I thought you could call your girlfriend to go too, what do you think? So I can meet her properly and, considering you have said she doesn't like very refined environments, my sister's house looks perfect to me."

Jisung didn't need to ponder too much. Sooyoung was a sweetheart — she didn't even seem to carry the same blood as his mother — and, by the way, cooked wonderfully. She lived alone in an extremely quiet and pleasant neighborhood, far away from the chaos of busy and noisy boulevards, so maybe Hyoyeon was right and that really was a perfect option.

— "When?"

— "This Thursday, at eight."

— "Okay."

— "Hey, aren't you going to have breakfast?" — she called him back when he turned his back a second time and opened the door.

— "Not now."

— "But, Jisung-..." — her opposition was cut before half.

— "Bye, mom," — and he left, prompting Hyoyeon to roll her eyes and drink some of her tea, alone.

They grow too fast.

                                                            ♡˖°

Jisung and Jinah were in the library; the boy because his last class before break was over earlier, and the girl because she would face anything not to keep listening to the zucchinis of her hated rude professor, Dr. Kim. Maybe dropping out of review classes would get Jinah screwed up in the upcoming exam week, but at that moment, Choi just wanted to take a walk, and it was on one of those twists and turns that she found her boyfriend studying at one of the quiet round tables and seriously considered whether to bother him or not. Her mind was, then, split between three lines of reasoning: 'Someone has to be smart in this relationship, let it be him', 'but I should study too, soon I have to write a term paper' and 'fuck, I just wanted to kiss him!' Choi Jinah being solely responsible for her decisions, it was to be expected which of the three ideas she would listen to most.

— "It's not allowed to do this in here," — Jisung whispered, noting that talking in the library was not allowed, nor making out at one of the tables farthest from the security cameras. His eyes went to the supervisors who were seated near the entrance every five seconds, fearing that someone would notice their proximity. — "One time Woojin hyung came to kiss someone here and got caught. I learned he could only come back after paying a fine."

— "Really?" — Jinah whispered back and kissed Jisung's lips again, calmly. — "I didn't even know."

— "You don't mind either, do you?"

— "Guess it."

Jisung wanted to have at least shot Jinah a scolding look, but his reason lived up to his emotion whenever he was so close to the girl; soon, moved by his little sense of mind, Han got up, took her by the hand, and quietly placed them in a small room that contained only one table and was intended for people who needed extreme concentration to study or do some work. The door had no key, but just keeping it locked was a thousand times better than being completely in public.

— "Hmmm, look at this" — as you might imagine, Jinah crossed her arms and smiled lewdly. — "For someone who were worried about a fine of nothing, you look pretty excited right now, Mr. Han."

Jisung rolled his eyes and sat down in one of the chairs: — "I'm not pretty excited, I just don't trust you."

— "I actually don't think you trust yourself" — Jinah approached slowly, and it was instinctive for the boy to look through the skirt the girl wore (in his defense, Jisung believed that the fabric looked too sexy for an academic environment, so it caught his attention). — "You could have just told me to stop kissing you, not bring me here."

— "But I told you!"

— "Told and kept kissing me back" — was Jinah who rolled her eyes this time. — "I thought you had more dignity, honestly."

— "I was quiet, studying, you who came out of nowhere."

— "Are you going to say you didn't miss me?"

— "No." — lied Jisung.

— "Ah..." — Jinah suddenly withered, her red lips pouting with disappointment as her eyes stared at the floor. — "But I missed you."

Han had once read on a curiosity site that when we see something cute, an instinct for aggression is immediately triggered by our brains, so we feel like squeezing and kneading something. Maybe that explained the sudden way he stood up and hugged his girlfriend like she was a teddy bear.

— "You're suffocating me!" — Jinah said among a series of laughs that infected Jisung as well. — "Babe, I'm serious! It tickles!"

Han stopped, but only so that he could kiss her properly. Their mouths had been together for so many minutes that, this time, Jinah didn't even find gaps to complain about neediness, and Jisung only stopped when his jaw started to ache and the lack of oxygen became unsustainable.

— "Wow," — Choi gasped, bewildered. Her swollen lips, disheveled hair and rapidly rising and falling chest proved that Jisung's ability to pull her out of orbit was real and very solid. — "That's because you didn't even miss me," — she joked.

— "Just a little," — Han joked, stole another peck from the girl's lips, and remembered something important. — "Are you going to do something after tomorrow?"

— "In the evening?"

— "Uh huh"

— "I don't think so." — Jinah frowned, mentally going over her Thursday business and coming to the conclusion that her schedule was almost as empty as her stock of strawberry candies. — "Why?"

— "My mom wants to talk to you."

— "Oh my Lord" — Jinah broke away from Jisung. It was amazing how seven words could make her tense. — "I don't like that phrase."

— "But I told you she adored you."

— "Because I barely opened my mouth that day, now it's different."

— "She also keeps talking shit, you two will get along," — Jisung insisted. — "My aunt has volunteered to make dinner, so if you don't want to go for the responsibility, at least go for the food."

— "As long as it's not those snails Yugyeom served at his party, you started speaking my language."

— "I swear it isn't, my aunt is fitness."

— "Okay," — though nervous and a little suspicious, Jinah smiled. — "Now you can kiss me again, I've recovered."

Maybe Jisung would lose not only his precious study time, but the minutes of the break as well. Anyway, it was for a good cause, and he couldn't be bothered at all. Priorities.

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 38

LISTEN TO ME — 0038

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 1.7K

Jinah felt as if she were walking beside a heavy storm cloud that would start shooting lightning everywhere at any moment. It was a surprise to see that Jade was willing — as far as possible — to go to class that Monday, given that she could barely sleep the night before and everything around her made her want to cry repeatedly, but, Jinah was starting to believe the idea had not been so good. Perhaps it would have been better if the american had stayed at home, the motives were explicit on her face.

— "Jade" — after looking at her out of the corner of her eye more than four times and holding on to herself not to keep a safe distance, Jinah finally spoke, using as much caution as she could muster. — "Is everything alright?"

Obviously it was not all right, but Choi never thought that crossing the campus next to one of her best friends would become so tense. Jade was no longer crying, though the makeup covering her face — including all the freckles, which, unfortunately, she made a point of hiding — made it clear that her intention was to hide her dark circles and her haggard expression. Her jaw was clenched, and Jinah, in all the years she had known Kang, could tell with conviction that she had never seen her carry such a sharp look. Truth be told, Jieun looked ready to do a massacre. It was a little scary.

Jinah had her question completely ignored. The same had happened to Chan, a little while earlier, still in the kitchen of their shared apartment. With Felix too, when they met at the college entrance and he came to know how she was doing. All of this generated some pressure, as if she were a time bomb. It got worse as Jade walked straight past her office building and headed toward the life sciences building.

— "Where are you going?" — asked Jinah, again in vain. She would have an appraisal exercise in seven minutes, but she felt that, if she let the american do what she was going to do on her own, it would definitely go wrong. — "At least wait for me!"

Jade entered the corridors like a hurricane. Little did she know which way she was going, her eyes just darting over the little plates above the doors, and when she finally read 'Biomedicine — Ninth Period', she didn't think twice before entering the room. Luckily, there weren't many people waiting for the professor yet, but the one she wanted to find was standing right in front of her. Kang left no warning before gathering all the strength she had in her body, clenching her fist and punching Josh's face, who fell to the ground with shock.

— "Jade!" — scolded Jinah, pulling her friend by the arm. — "It could cause you to be expelled from college, you idiot!"

— "I warned you that you weren't supposed to come into my life with Changbin, didn't I?" — Jieun practically spat in Josh's face. A trickle of blood ran down the boy's nose, who couldn't take his eyes off of the floor. — "I thought I could trust you!"

— "Calm down" — Hyunjin got up from his desk and joined Jinah in trying to continue the mission of controlling the american girl's nerves. — "Jinah's right, this is no time or place to work it out."

— "I could take the case to the dean right now and get you in a lot of trouble," — muttered Josh, blankly, still not looking up or even making to get up.

— "Well, do it!" — answered Jade. — "So I'm free to break the rest of this cynical face of yours!"

The way Josh was acting was totally and completely contradictory. He barely had the courage to look Kang in the eye, such was his shame and regret, yet he still acted like an idiot because it seemed a thousand times easier than stepping on his own pride, apologizing, and accepting that this fight was no longer his, that Changbin had won that time. Josh loved Jade, but Jade loved Changbin. And now she hated Josh. It hurt.

— "You talk like it's just my fault..." — and it really was, but maybe he deserved the punch and a little more. Damn the dean and all the bureaucracy. — "Since you even closed your eyes..."

Like fire finding gasoline, Jade went up on Josh again, needing Jinah and Hyunjin to stop her from reaching Lee. Angry and frustrated, she tired of debating uselessly and shoved her two friends, then left the room with the same speed she had entered. Jinah sighed and exchanged a discouraged look with Hyunjin, who, nonetheless, reached out and helped Josh to his feet, but made no point of saying anything to the latter.

And it was still only Monday.

                                                           ♡˖°

Minhwan lit another cigarette.

The perfectly glazed car was smelling of smoke, but he didn't give a shit. Standing under the shade of a tree, a few yards from the college's main gates, he had more important things to think and worry about.

The distance he was in did not allow him to see exactly, but, after so many days of doing the same routine, he had become accustomed to the condition of seeing her only from afar. And it was almost unbelievable to think that time could only make Jinah more and more beautiful.

Minhwan felt hate, but also felt love. Sounds crazy, but you can't blame him, after all, that's what he is. A crazy, insane, unbalanced, delirious, wild and every other synonym found in the dictionary. However, like everything else in this life, he had reason to be so, since living on crumbs while spending most of the day following someone from afar as a hallucinated was not a choice any sane person would choose to make.

It used to be like a light at the end of the tunnel. Darkness was everywhere, but there was a speck that he pinned his hopes on and clung tightly when everything else pressed down on him. Minhwan was only sixteen when he met Jinah — his little flame in the middle of a freezing night —, and, from then on, the weight on his shoulders became much more bearable. He hadn't had a chance to find out what many people's hearts had to offer, but, of the few that had ever done him any good in his life, Choi was certainly, the most valuable. There is not always someone who is willing to sew a heart full of cuts.

Minhwan had been raised by his maternal grandmother since his mother died at his father's dirty hands and was sent to prison. He had no siblongs, thank God, so he wouldn’t have to witness another innocent child suffer all that he had suffered as a child. The marks were everywhere, both on his body and his soul. At the time, Minhwan didn't have many friends to talk to, but he was pretty sure the parents of the other street kids didn't do what his did when they were alone at home. And even as an adult, he still couldn't find enough words to describe exactly how he felt, just carried the unwanted whimpers in his nightmares and a screaming horror in his heart. When his grandmother also died, it was as if the old bricks supported by only a crumbling pillar collapsed and threw their heavy debris on his back — the world came to the ground. And then, Jinah appeared.

Minhwan didn't believe there was a more amazing person on Earth. Even with all his faults, Choi had accepted him and made herself available to cure him of all his suffering. Her smiles functioned more like infinite anti-inflammatories that sent the pain far away and spread tranquility through every cell of his body. Minhwan loved her so much he felt his chest sting, and strongly believed she would be by his side forever. But then came insecurity and fear.

After so many early losses, he had taken some trauma from too strong relationships. Jinah had a lot of friends and much more uncomplicated and interesting people to talk to; so, anyone who approached and took one of her kind smiles was already viewed as an opponent by Minhwan. The boy never wanted to lose her, only that possibility made the scars in his heart ache as if they might reopen. And Jinah always knew so much cooler guys! Guys who knew how to be romantics, who were prettier, who had more money, who could offer her so much more than an obsessive love! Although Choi had never cared about these things or disrespected him at some point in their relationship, it was impossible for Minhwan not to let jealousy gradually overwhelm his conscience, causing him to make threats, be aggressive and extremely controlling, act impulsively and hurt one of the only people who really cared about him, all for fear of losing.

But it was no use, because he lost anyway. Now, he couldn't even get close to Jinah thanks to the subpoena he received when Choi informed the police that she was uncomfortable with his presence. Not that he cared about laws or court orders, but, on second thought, it was even better, since Minhwan didn't want to do anything ahead of time and wasn't sure what would be his reaction to being face to face with the boy who lately only knew how to draw passionate glances from his girl.

Han Jisung. Minhwan hated him. He was pretty sure Han didn't deserve all the love Jinah gave him, just as he didn't love Choi enough — in Minhwan’s tormented head, no one would love Jinah more than himself. It was simply unbearable to see them kissing or walking hand in hand on the street, it looked like a misplaced piece in a complicated puzzle. Minhwan wanted Jisung to disappear once and for all... He wanted to disappear too. Or rather, wanted to find peace... But he couldn't do it without Jinah.

Although now she looked genuinely happy, as when Minhwan promised.

Yeah... Maybe Jinah should disappear too.

Everything's gonna be okay.

a/n: things are going downhill lol

I decided to talk a little bit about how Minhwan feels not to be like in those stories that the couple is having a wonderful time and out of nowhere a crazy idiot appears to end it and that's it. I didn't put it in all the words, but I imagine you guys understood that he was abused by his father when he was little and this generates an absurd trauma to any child, especially if not treated with a specialist doctor, so this is one of the reasons why he's kind of crazy like that.

Josh is not just another sucker either, he just has a hard time dealing with his feelings and that makes him stupid most of the time, but I ask you guys to calm down. You guys don't even have to like him yet, I just want to say that, like Chaerin from the beginning of the au, his attitudes don't show everything he really is.

and speaking of Chaerin, let's add Seungmin and say that they are missing in 'Listen To Me', don't you guys think? I at least think that and already advance that the two little angels will soon be between us

can I ask you guys to tell me your expectations? if you guys are liking it or what you expect. I haven't asked this for a long time and I always like to know, so don't be afraid to tell me :)

I'm leaving now, Ily and see you guys in the next chapter <3

[bluehhj]

omg, i just posted everything at once, i’m sorry aaaaaaaa

postei e tá postado, é isto, negxs

[bluehhj]

(don't) love me ˀˀ - one

(DON’T) LOVE ME  [“LISTEN TO ME” SPIN-OFF]

CHAPTER 01  ||  M.LIST

WORDS: 1.1K

a/n: just for you guys not to forget; the narrations will be made from Chaerin's point of view

It started in July, on a Thursday that should have been normal like every other so far.

End of semester is always a mess.

There are people who finish their exams and disappear from college, carrying with them the certainty that their grades were so excellent that they no longer have to worry about anything until the beginning of next semester, as well as there are people who go into despair and, in cases more seriously, they drop out of courses because they are no longer willing to shell out the significant amount that the facilities imposed as a condition.

Fortunately, I fit into the first group, because I struggled to keep the averages in the assessments and devoted myself to all the work, aware that they were always worth more.

Still, at that end of the semester, however, the mess — not necessarily related to academia — was finally present in my day and, unlike the others, it had a first and last name.

I don't know if it was the idea of the dean or any of the institution's coordinators, but scheduling a lecture in the auditorium, when the rooms were not even forty percent full, could have been too frustrating. I myself was only there to deliver a work that was accidentally lost from the portfolio and my courage to endure three massive hours of content that we would have to review in the next period was less than zero, although neurolinguistics was a subject that interested me greatly.

Given my almost tangible indisposition, I really would have gone home without even thinking twice, yet, there was an obstacle: Kim Taeyeon, our favorite professor.

Taeyeon was one of those people who you can't say no. She knew how to convince anyone without even saying much, so much that five minutes of conversation was enough for the fifteen people in the class to give in. In my case, I was sorry to say no to her little eyes and was seduced by the promise of several additional hours we would earn at the end of the course. Besides, I didn't have much to do outside, because, even though Jisung was in our house, we would do nothing but waste our time watching old movies.

So I went.

We were not alone in the auditorium, the medical and physiotherapy classes gathered there as well as the latest sound and image details were organized by the team responsible for structuring the lecture.

My class has never been an example of friendship and collective companionship. From the beginning of the course, the room was divided into a dozen cliques that rarely mingled with the rest any longer than group work required.

Personally speaking, I had nothing against anyone, but I felt more comfortable around three specific people: Lee Minho, Ha Sooyoung  and Jeon Jungkook.

Because of fate, none of the three came to class that day, so I sat in any chair, not paying attention to my company until the end of the lecture, and perhaps that was my first slip.

I could have stood by San, Mingi, and Wooyoung, even though they had an annoying craze of laughing too loudly in inappropriate places, or maybe I could have ignored how Jinah looked in love at Im Jaebum and sat next to her and Jade, but no. I preferred to be alone and kept going for the next few minutes until he asked if he could sit in the empty chair next to mine and what must have meant nothing turned out to be everything.

My movements were limited to a shake of the head. If he found me rude, he didn't show it. But the truth was, I couldn't express any kind of more energetic reaction, and that should not have happened.

Kim Seungmin was a boy as normal as anyone there, with his frayed jeans and brown hair. There was nothing different about him, nothing that made him stand out from the rest.

So, why did he look so unique right away?

— "There are more people here than I thought," — he said suddenly, looking around. I believe that he also wasn't putting faith that someone would really be interested in neurolinguistics at this point in the championship. His in-depth analysis ended when he rested his eyes on my face. — "Physiotherapy?" — he suggested with a slight smile. It took me about four full seconds to realize that he was referring to my supposed course.

— "Psychology," — I said, returning the smile without even realizing it.

— "I would have been a psychologist if all my vocational tests had not pointed to medicine." — his voice was kind of nasal and soft as a feather, the kind you want to hear when you need to relax. It was sweet. — "By the way, I'm Kim Seungmin."

— "Kwon Chaerin."

— "You're not from here, are you?"

Another fact that I discovered about Seungmin that day was that he loved to talk, which should have repelled me a little. I was never the kind of person who talked a lot, especially to those who had just met, but, the ease with which our subject unfolded for the next few minutes surprised me.

I told him that my mother's whole family lived in Canada, so I was born there, and he told me that his dream was to visit the United States. Then, we started talking about what we thought about South Korea, from my foreign perspective and from his native perspective. Luckily, the place we were in was one of the most empty of the auditorium, so our whispers didn't disturb the lecture, which had begun at some point that went unnoticed by both of us.

— "What surprises me is that our rooms are in the same building and we had never seen each other until today," — he commented between conversations.

— "Yeah," — the low laugh tore from my lips effortlessly and, pleasantly comfortable at his presence, I leaned my arms against the back of the chair and added: —  "But I think we can change that now."

Seungmin opened his lips, but gave up saying anything when his eyes met the thin golden band on my ring finger, and I was ashamed to say that only then did I remember the existence of that detail.

I had a fiance at home and would marry him very soon.

It wasn't as if Jisung and I couldn't develop new friendships. Our relationship was healthy, just as our trust in each other was mutual. However, I needed to be honest with myself and admit that my glances on Seungmin and his glances on me were not as unpretentious as recommended for a committed woman.

And I cannot blame him at all, for, as soon as he became aware of the weight of my wedding ring, Seungmin wilted, forced a small smile, and replied lightly: — "Of course."

And even if his statement showed everything but the certainty that we would actually see each other from now on, I knew this was far from our last conversation.

                                                       「❀」

a/n:  >so far< we can begin to conclude that Seungmin is a misunderstood little angel and the fool of the story is Chaerin

anyway, I ask you guys to try to understand their side. I'm not saying they're completely right, far from it, but this love thing sucks *lies, love is beautiful, it just depends* and pointing out the mistakes of others is very easy when you don't know what it's like to live a situation like this

could Chaerin have broken up with Jisung before getting involved with Seungmin? yeah, she could. could Seungmin have been irreversible in refusing to get involved with Chaerin? he could too, but they got it wrong and everyone makes mistakes, so keep an open mind to it

changing the subject, I don't know if you guys noticed, but "listen to me" starts at the beginning of the year (like, 2019) and here is July, so, is about a few months earlier (like, 2018). it's just a detail that I found interesting to point out in case someone didn't notice

finally, the chapters in this au are shorter and a thousand times easier to write, so I'm likely to update more often, okay?

ily and take care bbys <3

[bluehhj]

(don’t) love me masterlist

LISTEN TO ME; MAIN AU

plot; chapter 01

chapter 02  |  chapter 03  |  chapter 04