Me yapping about my yumeship (OC x Canon)
(sorry for the long context, i wanted to yap about this somehow. i love oc x canon ships. i’m a lore nerd, so explaining my own oc, sakurā and kanon’s character and personal trauma was fun to do.)
the reason why i even put sakurā and kanon together as a ship/couple at all is cause they match too well for my liking and they both suffer abit in different aspects, sure they’re both mean, but in different terms.
sakurā’s perspective of mean is him being very harsh and realistic to everyone around him, knowing well enough they are gonna eventually betray him.
kanon’s way of mean being she getting what she wants as a means to survive in a normal chaotic day of school. thinking that she’s the star of the plum class, being snobbish, being full of herself, believing she’s better than everyone else around her.
they’re tragic in different terms.
sakurā’s trauma stems from not having any family or support system, drifting around the world while hunting demons, his angst, being betrayed all the time, surviving death in-the-face, being bullied constantly, and having to deal with humans’ constant control over him.
he believes he’s fated to hunt, to be betrayed, to watch people die, to drift across the world, and be beaten all over like it’s another tuesday for him. since he has no belief in himself, he doesn’t pray to god since he hates entities or the idea of them, wishing nothing more than the entity to leave him the hell alone.
he hates demons with a burning passion, when someone mentions demons; it has him shutting down, or in a rage. he thinks demons don't deserve rights, or "human" emotions. he hates demons when they start to feel tragic and human. the only reason that sakurā even survives countless upon thousands of nights hunting down demons is cause of luck, martial arts training; especially with bladed weapons like swords, spears, axes, chainsaws, along with survival skills from his childhood and learning from manga, comics, novels, tv shows, whatever he could get his hands on.
he doesn't believe in friendship since he was betrayed by various people who promised him hope, shelter, food, and bonding time. it felt all like a non-stop broken record and cookie cutting to him.
despite his beliefs, he had constant mood swings and conflicts within his mind like "shall I kill?" "am I a failure?" "should i befriend him or her?" "when do I die?" "why are people controlling me?" "who do those assholes think they are?" "can i just die already?"
to him, he expects hatred, not kindness. despair, not hope. violence, not gentleness. pain, not relief.
every single moment of his life is not fun, it's hell.
kanon’s trauma stems from her lack of support as a child, and her loneliness. first off, she was “sold” to the mizushiros since her grandma thought she was a curse that would bring misfortune to the shiraishi household. due to her easily being gaslit by her own grandmother at only 2 into thinking she never had a brother. After her being sold, at 5 when she started to have memories crafted in her brain. the mizushiros, despite them being rich, letting kanon have what she wanted, and them loving her as much she “loved” them.
they were strict to kanon, ESPECIALLY about dating and love as a whole. when kanon was thinking about a boy or at least, confess to one.
her mother always stopped her when she told her, saying that “that boy isn’t good enough for you. don’t date him.”. The problem wasn’t just dating, it was activities she spent. kanon was the last one for usually everything, she didn’t know why that was. it happened over and over. she was bullied for having a swirl birthmark in her hair, and was alone for anything due to nobody wanting to play with her; thinking of her as merely “background material” in terms loosely. the world was cruel in ways she didn't know why.
in the modern day, kanon was lonely, she had come to sunshine academy to change herself so she could become a better person. that wasn't the case. she fell into a pool of mud after being spooked by a frog and she was helped by mikage shiraishi. there's when her heart skipped a beat, and it was love at first sight for her; at least she thought. unfortunately, it all changed when she met ruby, a talking rabbit-like jewelpet resembling a japanese hare. at first, kanon felt that she could use a friend like her.
it did until ruby started gushing over on mikage too. that’s when kanon’s heart broke, and jealousy with the mix of her own snobbish attitude had been consuming her fully and there was no turning back, it was over. she thought she was better than everyone else and she didn’t know. that was the scary part of it all.).
sakurā and kanon both suffer abit in different situations. one copes with his by being anti-social, trying to survive in a world that wants to hurt him constantly, so he could break. one copes with hers from being consumed by her own jealousy and believing that bullying an otherworldly being was the only way to win the heart of the boy she loved, come to find out to find that boy was her own brother (mikage) this whole time and she didn’t know.
despite their differences and ways of dealing with their trauma, they both felt each other’s rage, lust, angst, frustration, pain and anger inside of each other.
