Warning: body dysmorphia, blood, self harm, mention of death.
„Y/N“ There he is. „It’s past one A.m., why are you up?“ his voice was so soft, a tired sigh left your lips, your cold feet on the warm tiles. „I could ask you the same.“ You whispered and invited yourself into the lab. „Science never sleeps?“ - „Is that a question?“ a light chuckle left your lips but then it turned rather serious. „It’s Steve again, right?“ Bruce walked a few steps closer and gently lifted your head by placing his hand under your chin. You didn’t needed to reply, he knew the answer. „He doesn’t deserve you.“ Bruce guided you to your favorite spot and helped you on the counter.
„It’s hard to say no.“ You leaned back, neither agreeing nor denying his question, hiding the pain in your eyes by closing them. „He‘s out of his mind, Y/N.“ Bruce carefully patched your knuckles, wiping away the dried blood. „You can’t keep training, when was your last break?“ - „If i tell you, you‘ll kick Steve out of the group.“ It’s been a while, you had trained with Steve from three p.m. until now. You always had the feeling of disappointing him, so you denied every break, it wasn’t his fault, but you can’t let Bruce know.
„Okay. I wont ask. But today, or later, tomorrow and the next day, you wont train. Your hands need to heal, y/n. You can’t do this anymore, hm?“ His expression was filled with worry. You hated but also loved the soft and worried expression Bruce had on his face, all the time you came to get patched up. You would lie if you‘d say there’s no emotional bounding between the two of you, he knew you better than any one else on the team by now.
„Bath?“ He asked with the softest smile on his lips. „Wait, just one more minute.“ You took his hand he offered you, you breathed in and closed your eyes and before words of protest could leave your lips, Bruce had picked you up, carrying you out of the lab. „FRIDAY, turn off the lights.“ He hummed and within a few seconds the light was off and the hallway light was the only source that spent some light. Your legs wrapped around the Older ones Waist, your head resting on his shoulder. Both his hands holding you by your thighs. You were too tired to fight him in any way, and a bath was really needed. A five minute walk, filled with soft neck kisses and some calming words, he sat you on the edge of the bathtub and filled it with water. The „thing“ between you both was unspoken, none of you really knew what’s going on but neither of you wanted to end it.
„Heads up…“ he whispered, softly cleaning your neck with a cloth. „I‘m tired, Boo.“ - „oh i know. We‘re done in a moment.“ He kissed your forehead, his tender lips left a light tingle on the spot. Once the cloth was placed on the edge of the tub and Bruce had dried his hands, he opened the drain and gently pulled you out, helping you to stand on your feet. Without a word, he knew what to do and not even ten minutes later, both of you were laying in bed, cuddled under the covers. „Sleep tight, bee.“ was the last thing you heard before you dozed off.
„Y/N!“ Steve‘s sharp voice hurt your ears. „No, my hands have to heal!“ you screamed back and bit your lip. Confronting someone was never your strength. „But you could go for a run still!“ He called out and walked closer. „Steve, let it be, Y/N is hurt. There‘s no need to make them go for a run. They‘re fit. Run your miles alone.“ „Bruce-“ - „No. Do you want to see their hands? Their knees and back? It’s enough. They might not be able to say no, but I am. I bath them every night after your stupid training. You‘re not the one crying in pain. Leave.“ It was the first time you heard Bruce say those words, he exposed you, made you vulnerable but Steve seem to understand. „I didn’t know it was that bad. Apologies.“ Steve ran off pretty quick. „That wasn’t necessary.“ You whispered, your head falling forward, eyes glued to the ground. Bruce was right, your body was in terrible conditions. „It was, more than you know, Bee.“ He lifted your chin again, just like the other day. But this time, a tender kiss pressed on your lips.
„Tony is waiting for me in the lab… come with me or other plans?“ He asked softly, his hand still on your chin. „Other plans… will see you later?“ - „Later it is.“ Bruce kissed your lips once again and then left. You had no other plans but staring at Bruce while he was working with Tony wasn’t the right thing to do.
You found yourself in your room, in front of your mirror. It was no ones fault you were insecure about yourself, not Steve or Tony, not Loki or Natasha, none of them ever criticized you, never would. Training with steve until you‘re unconscious wasn’t Steve‘s fault, but yours. Beating up the Boxing back wasn’t his fault but yours. At least you thought so. You didn’t thought of your past or your parents. You thought, you‘re the culprit, not the victim. But you couldn’t open up, tell them, the punishment keeps you alive, makes you feel what you thought you deserve.
This wasn’t the right thing to do either, the sharp piece of glass between your fingers, playing with it as if it couldn’t hurt you. But it already did, small, deep cuts emblazon your wrist and forearm. „Y/N?“ shit. That wasn’t planned. „Are you there, bee?“ „Bathroom…“ The piece of glass between your fingers, resting on your warm skin, blood flowing between the space down to your elbow. Time and movement passed by in slow motion. The door opened, Bruce‘s smile faded, two cups with warm liquid shatter once they met the floor.
„They‘re ill!“ - „Tony…“ - „No Bruce, Y/N, needs special treatment. What would‘ve happened when you didn’t left earlier? They could be dead.“ - „Both of you, shut up. They‘re waking up.“ Your eyes fluttered open, finding yourself in Bruce‘s bed, forearms wrapped in bandages. „I wouldn’t kill myself…“ the words left your lips without thinking. „I don‘t… I don‘t“ - „It’s okay Y/N.“ Bruce sat next to you and wrapped his arms around you carefully. You relaxed in his embrace. „It’s okay.“ He hummed, his hand gently resting on the back of your head.
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