cw: explicit, creampie, whining to Zuko that youre tired of riding him.
You’re already panting, thighs burning as you bounce on his cock, it feels so good but you’re getting fkn tired. “Zuko fuck, I’m doing all the work again,” you huff, hips slowing just enough to make a point. Your hands press against his broad chest, nails digging in like that’ll make him move. “Can’t you—ngh—help a little?”
His gold eyes narrow at you as his big hands stay planted on your waist, but they don’t guide you. They just hold you there, thick cock buried deep, “That so?” He thrusts upward once. “Whining already, princess? Thought you wanted to ride me.”
You roll your hips once more, trying to prove something, but it comes out pathetic. His cock twitches inside you, fat and heavy, veins pulsing against your walls. God, it’s so good. Too good. But your legs are shaking and you’re tired and—
“Zuko, please—”
Big mistake.
In one smooth motion he flips you. Your back hits the mattress hard. Zuko looms over you as one massive hand pinning both your wrists above your head. “Princess,” he growls, free hand gripping your thigh and shoving it up toward your chest. The new angle forces his cock even deeper, the thick head bullying. “You wanna complain about doing all the work? Fine. I’ll do it.”
Zuko pulls back just enough for the fat head of his cock to catch at your pussy and then thrusts back in hard. “F-fuck—Zuko—!”
“Yeah?” He pulls back only to drive in again, hips snapping. Every thrust rocks your whole body, tits bouncing, “This what you wanted? Me doing all the fuckin’ work?”
You nod frantically, “Zuko—ahh—too much—slow down—!”
“Slow down?” He scoffs, hooking your leg over his shoulder driving in harder, “You were whining about doing nothing n’ now it’s too much? Tch.”
Sweat slicks your skin, your thighs trembling where he’s got you pinned. “Zuko—Zu—fuck, I’m—!” You whimper louder about to orgasm as the coarse hair at the base of his cock rubs against your swollen clit.
“C’mon then,” he growls, voice dripping with mock sweetness. “Cum on my cock like the spoiled little slut you are. Make it loud for me, princess.”
Tears slip down your cheeks, mouth hanging open in a constant stream of loud, whimpering moans that get louder with every brutal thrust.
You’re a mess but Zuko just looks so fucking happy, that smug smirk never leaving his face. “Still wanna whine about doing all the work?” he asks, thumb brushing your bottom lip.
You shake your head weakly, utterly spent, a satisfied little whimper slipping out instead. You were a lucky girl, indeed.
a/n: ok fuck sorry I folded and I love u guys and and wrote this after work fuck bc I ACTUALLY NEED HIM TO BEND ME OVER RIGHT NOW plz plz plz Zuko I need u more than toji plz actually both of u plz at the same damn time
Writer's block is just fear with a fancy name. you're not broken you're scared it'll be bad. so what if it's bad? write it bad. write it REALLY bad on purpose. write the worst version possible just to get it out. can't figure out a scene? skip it. write the next one. come back later. stuck on a word? put in [WORD GOES HERE] and move on. perfectionism is the enemy. momentum is your friend. you can't edit a blank page but you CAN edit garbage. make garbage. fix it later. keep moving.
You know what is a concept i don't remember you doing but i would obssess if you did?
Yandere jj
I just looked this up and I think this series I wrote kinda fits that!! I was inspired by the show You on Netflix💘 Specifically by Love and Joe's relationship (both of them are dangerously obsessed with each other)
YOU
There is definitely violence and psychotic levels of devotion
A/N: Just over here writing fanfiction of my fanfiction. The idea came to me in a dream🤪 I just love Carmen so much
Series Masterlist
JJ stayed in the kitchen longer than he meant to, sipping moonshine and wishing that he had the guts to tell you how he really felt. Wishing that he could be the one you were kissing out there.
He let out a quiet breath through his nose and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Get over yourself, dude."
He told himself it didn't mean anything. Carmen was just... Carmen. Flirty with everyone. And you were drunk, just like when you'd fucked him a week ago.
So why did it feel like someone had reached into his chest and twisted?
He tossed back the rest of the moonshine, poured some more in his glass, and wandered back toward the living room.
Everybody was still laughing, even harder now, but you and Carmen were nowhere to be seen.
He scanned the room and frowned. "Where'd they go?"
Everybody got quiet.
John B smirked into his drink.
Kiara pointed toward the staircase. "Upstairs."
"...Oh." His eyes drifted toward the stairs without meaning to, heart sinking a little, and everybody noticed.
John B slowly turned to look at him with the biggest grin creeping across his face. He had told him to tell you how he felt, so this was on him.
"What?" JJ asked defensively.
"Nothin'," John B said way too quickly.
Your bedroom spun as Carmen's mouth found yours again, fingers threading through your hair as her thigh pressed between your legs.
"You're so pretty like this," she drawled, thumb tracing your bottom lip. "All flushed, makin' all those cute little noises."
You laughed, breathless. "So are you."
She flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder and leaned in to place wet, open mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone, making you shiver.
"Cold?" she asked, but her smirk said she knew better.
"No."
"Good."
Her hand slid down your shoulder, your arm, your hip, movements deliberate and slow. Not at all rushed and desperate like you and JJ had been. She moved like she had all the time in the world and intended to spend every second of it on you.
"Bet blondie downstairs wishes he could see you right now."
Your stomach tightened at the mention of him. The way he'd looked at you before disappearing into the kitchen, jaw tight, confusion written all over his face.
He almost looked a little jealous but you couldn't be sure.
"I don't know..." you whispered.
"Oh please. Poor boy's in love with you, darlin'." Her hand slid under your shirt to squeeze you gently over your bra. "Just doesn't have the guts to say it... Looks like it worked out for me though."
This made you giggle softly.
She laughed too and kissed you again, deeper this time. Her tongue slid against yours and you made a sound you didn't recognize. Something needy, like you'd been holding it in your chest all week.
Her hands found the button of your shorts, undid it and dragged the zipper down teasingly slow.
You lifted your hips without being asked.
"Good girl," she murmured as she tugged the shorts off, then your underwear. Your thighs tried to close on instinct as the cool air hit where you were wet but she was already there, kneeling between them, keeping you open.
"Uh uh," she grinned. "None of that."
Her fingers traced up your inner thigh lightly, avoiding where you wanted to be touched completely.
"Carmen."
"Yeah, darlin'?"
"Please."
She tilted her head, mock innocent. "Please what?"
You groaned, letting your head fall back against the pillow. "You're terrible."
"I think I'm pretty wonderful." Her fingers finally brushed against you, just barely, just enough pressure to make your hips jerk. "And I know these fingers can't compare to pretty boy's dick, but…"
You choked on a laugh that turned into a moan as she slid one finger inside you, slow. Curling just right.
"But I'm gonna make you come just as hard," she finished, voice dropping a bit. "Promise you that."
She worked you like she meant it. Her thumb found your clit while her finger moved inside you, and your back arched off the mattress.
She smiled. "Right there, huh?"
"Yeah, right there. Holy shit." You could barely speak, hand fisting in the sheets.
She added a second finger, watching your face the whole time.
"You like that, sweetheart?" she murmured. "Huh?"
Ok, that reminded you a little too much of JJ... which only made everything feel even better.
"You know he's probably losin' his damn mind right now," she said conversationally, as if she wasn't currently knuckle deep inside you. "Down there. Thinking about you up here... Wondering what I'm doin' to his girl."
"You think so?" The words came out strangled.
She grinned. "Oh, I know so."
Then she lowered her mouth to you and you stopped thinking entirely.
Her tongue was hot and precise and she licked into you like she'd done it a hundred times before, like she already knew exactly what you needed. Her fingers stayed inside you, curling in rhythm with her tongue, and the combination had you covering your mouth to muffle the high pitched sounds escaping you.
"That's it," she murmured against you, the vibration of her voice sending sparks up your spine. "Let it out."
She got you there quickly, her tongue experienced and insistent.
"I'm gonna– fuck," you breathed, hands tangling into her hair.
"Let go, honey. I got you."
Your thighs clamped around her head as you came. She just laughed into you, and kept going until you were trembling through the last of it.
"Holy shit," you giggled softly.
She crawled up your body, mouth glistening, and pressed her lips to yours, letting you taste yourself.
"Still want that boy?" she smirked, pulling back to look at you.
You nodded, chest still heaving. "Always will."
She hummed thoughtfully, tracing patterns on your hip. "Bet he'd come up here and join us if you asked."
Your eyes widened. "What?"
"I wouldn't touch him," she said, matter of fact. "He'd be all yours. We'd make it about you." Her green eyes sparkled. "Both of us. Just you. Us makin' you feel good."
You swallowed, thighs pressing together as the image flooded your brain. Her hands and mouth on you. Him inside you again.
"I'm not asking him," you said, voice smaller than you intended.
Carmen perked up like she'd been given a challenge. "Oh, I will."
"Carmen–"
But she was already off the bed, already slipping into the hallway with a wink and shutting the door behind her before you could form a protest.
You covered your face and groaned softly, heart beating faster now. If you weren't so drunk you definitely would've stopped her.
And now you wait.
She found him exactly where she expected, in the kitchen, pouring more moonshine into a glass like it might solve something inside him. She watched his shoulders drop as he let out a sigh.
"You're gonna wanna put that down," she said, leaning against the doorframe.
JJ jumped and looked back at her, and whatever he saw on her face made him go still. His eyes narrowed. "Why's that?"
"Because I'm about to invite you somewhere and you're gonna want both hands free."
His jaw tightened. "Carmen... what are you–"
"She wants you." No preamble. No games. "Upstairs. Right now. With us."
His heart gave one hard thump and he set the glass on the counter, swallowing. "Does she?"
She nodded. "Been thinkin' about you all night."
He stared at the ground, processing. "She said last time was a one time thing."
"You said it was a one time thing." Carmen's voice sharpened. "She just agreed because you freaked out on her. Don't play dumb, Maybank."
He flinched.
"I hear you've been in love with that girl your whole life," she continued, stepping closer. "Everybody knows it. The only person pretending not to know it is you, and honestly? It's getting kinda pathetic."
His jaw dropped. "Carmen–"
"Be a pussy about it if you want. Stay down here. Keep drinking that godawful moonshine and staring at the wall while I take care of your girl." She shrugged, turning toward the hall. "Or grow a pair and come upstairs and take care of her with me."
He just stared, heart pounding, pants tightening as he tried to understand if this was actually happening.
"Could be funnn."
He picked up his glass and took another big sip before setting it back down.
"Are you serious right now?" he asked quietly. "She actually wants that?"
She looked back and he was shaking his head, but he was also smiling now, that crooked JJ smile he got when he was about to do something stupid.
"Yeah," she said. "She wants you. And you want her too don't you?"
He nodded slowly. "More than anything."
"Alright then, come on blondie."
He followed her up the stairs.
When the door opened, you were still on the bed, still bare from the waist down, still flushed, hair still messy and your eyes half lidded. JJ stopped in the doorway and just looked at you.
"Hey," you said, stupid and casual, like your heart wasn't trying to break through your ribs. Like you weren't shocked that he actually came.
"Hey." His voice was rough. "You sure about this?"
While extremely drunk, you knew that you'd never been more sure of anything. "Yeah, Jayj. I'm sure."
He crossed the room in three strides, grabbing your face and kissing you with the same desperation he had a week ago, maybe more.
"I missed you," he rasped.
"I missed you too," you nodded before kissing him again, wet and open mouthed, moaning softly as his hand slid down to grab your bare ass and pull you closer.
Behind him, you heard the door click shut, then Carmen was there, sliding onto the bed beside you, and JJ broke the kiss just long enough to pull your shirt over your head. His eyes traced down your body as if it's all he'd been thinking about the last few days.
"God," he breathed. "You're–" He shook his head, at a loss for words.
"Isn't she?" Carmen agreed, smiling, removing your bra and then stripping off her own shirt and shorts. "That's what I've been saying."
You laughed, and then JJ was kissing you again and Carmen's mouth was on your chest and someone's fingers– his, you realized, those callused familiar fingers– were sliding between your legs.
"Still wet," he murmured against your mouth. "She do that?"
She kissed you while JJ's fingers worked inside you. Her tongue slid against yours and her hand found your breast, thumb circling your nipple, and you were already spiraling again, already overwhelmed.
Her hand slid down to rub slow circles over your clit.
"Look at you," she whispered, pulling back to watch JJ's fingers disappear inside you over and over. "Taking both of us so well."
JJ made a sound low in his throat. "Damn right she is."
You pulled JJ's face to yours to kiss him now, moaning pitifully into his mouth as you stroked him over his shorts.
"Such a needy little thing." Carmen grinned, eyes flicking to him. "Was she like this last time?"
JJ smiled against your lips, remembering the way you pushed him onto the bed and crawled onto his lap, grinding against his jeans and practically attacking his neck with your mouth and teeth. "You have no idea."
They talked about you like you weren't there. Like you were something precious they were examining together. It should have been weird but you fucking loved it. Loved feeling appreciated and wanted after how you'd felt the last week.
"Wanna see you fuck her," Carmen instructed. "Wanna see what was making her make all those pretty noises I heard coming from your room."
"Yes ma'am." JJ obeyed immediately, shedding his clothes with a quickness.
You laid back and spread your legs for him, eyes dragging down his body as Carmen rubbed you between your thighs a few times.
Her eyes widened when she saw him. "Damn, JJ."
You choked out a giggle. "Isn't it pretty?"
"Would look prettier inside you."
JJ just smiled. "I second that."
She watched him position himself between your legs, rubbing his tip up and down your center, and leaned close to your ear. "You ready for him, pretty girl?"
You nodded, unable to form words now.
"Tell him."
"JJ." His name came out broken. "Please."
He pushed inside you and you stopped breathing, just for a second at the way he filled you perfectly.
"Okay?" he asked, voice strained.
"Feels so good. Been wanting you again so bad."
He stroked your cheek with his thumb. "Me too, princess. You have no idea."
He moved, slow at first, then faster as Carmen began to kiss you, murmuring things you barely processed.
So beautiful. Look at you taking him. He's so gone for you, honey. Look at his face.
You looked. JJ's eyes were fixed on yours, wild and desperate and full of something he'd never said out loud.
He leaned down to kiss you too now, hooking your leg around his waist.
"That's it," Carmen coached. "Right there. She likes that angle. See how she tightened up?"
JJ groaned. "I feel it."
"Then give her more."
He did. Harder. Deeper. Skin slapped loudly against skin. The bed creaked with each deep thrust. One hand braced beside your head, the other gripping your hip hard.
"She looks pretty takin' your dick, doesn't she?" Carmen asked him. "Sounds pretty too."
"Fucking gorgeous," JJ agreed.
You just continued to moan uncontrollably.
"Kiss her," he said suddenly, voice rough. "Wanna watch."
Carmen obliged, and JJ's rhythm stuttered as he watched your mouths move together again. Watched your tongues slide against each other's hungrily.
"Jesus," he breathed. "That's–yeah. That's somethin'."
You reached for Carmen, sliding your hand between her legs, and she gasped against your mouth. "Oh, you wanna play too?"
"Fair's fair," you managed.
She laughed, then moaned as your fingers found their rhythm. JJ watched you both, eyes dark, pace never faltering.
He felt like he was going insane.
She came stupidly hard within minutes with a quiet curse, hips grinding against your palm.
"I'm gonna come too," you whimpered.
"Good. Because I'm–" JJ swallowed hard. "I'm not gonna last much longer."
"Then don't." Carmen kissed your jaw. "Come for us, darlin'. Both of you."
You did, sudden and sharp and all consuming. You cried out, and JJ followed a heartbeat later, burying his face in your neck as he shuddered through it.
For a long moment, nobody moved, just laid there breathing, hearts racing, stunned by everything that'd just happened.
Then Carmen stretched, catlike, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Well," she said, already reaching for her clothes. "That was fun. My work here is done."
You and JJ laughed quietly as you looked at each other.
"Can I get a thank you Carmen?"
"Thank you Carmen," you both mumbled, smiling a little.
"My pleasure. Bye idiots." She blew you kiss and was gone.
You and JJ just lay there side by side for a minute, catching your breath, staring at the ceiling before your eyes drifted back to each other.
JJ laughed softly. "...Well."
You smiled. "...Well."
"I don't even know what just happened."
You giggled, shaking your head. "Me neither."
His fingers found yours on the mattress and gave your hand a squeeze. "But..."
"But?"
"I don't regret it."
Your smile grew. "I don't either."
He pulled you into his chest and you sighed, at the fact that he was holding you again but also because everybody was bound to find out what just happened. If they hadn't already figured it out.
"I really don't wanna go back downstairs and face everybody."
JJ groaned. "God, me neither. We're about to get clowned so hard." He glanced toward the bedroom door, then back at you with a crooked grin. "We should probably relocate before Kiara comes barging in here and gets a show too."
You burst out laughing. "Yeah... probably." You looked up at him "Your room? I miss your bed."
"Yeah." He pressed a gentle kiss to your swollen lips. "I miss you in my bed."
You both smiled and stood, pulling on your clothes.
"You know..."
"What?"
"Things just got really weird."
He smiled, warm and a little nervous. "Not bad weird, though?"
Warnings: Alcohol, weed, mentions of JJ's abuse, mentions of masturbation
Word Count: 6.1k
Masterlist
You finally woke up in JJ's room around noon.
Your body was at peak soreness from moving and your brain felt like a pile of mush thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol that you'd consumed yesterday while celebrating with the Pogues.
For a few foggy seconds, you just stared at the ceiling, confused, until you began to hear your friends' muffled laughter outside.
They all sounded older, but it was so unmistakably them you felt like you could burst from excitement. Because you finally were finally back in your home state, at the Chateau again and immediately accepted as part of the group like you'd never left. A group that felt more like family than ever and with two new additions that you were already so excited to get to know.
You breathed in deep and immediately smelled breakfast being cooked... and then JJ.
You looked around his room and couldn't help but giggle and shove your face into his pillow, stomach fluttering stupidly as flashes of the night before replayed in your head.
The way you'd laughed together and teased each other like nothing had changed at all.
The way he'd looked at you, so soft and happy and disbelieving that you could almost feel it physically.
The way you, without a doubt, were still crushing on him even after all these years. And you already knew it was going to be even worse now because, holy shit, he got even more prettier than you could've ever imagined.
More handsome. Painfully so.
"Jesus Christ," you mumbled to yourself, muffled by the pillow.
You finally forced yourself up and shuffled toward the kitchen in one of JJ's t-shirts and a pair of shorts, hair messy as hell.
The second JJ looked up from his breakfast, he almost choked at the sight of you.
He'd spent all morning wondering if you coming back was just some strange dream or if he was actually losing it.
He definitely was losing it a little though, because you were so stunning now that it almost scared him... especially right now, all sleepy and casually wearing his clothes.
This girl who had genuinely made him want to settle down and build a life for the two of you at the age of thirteen.
The girl who, without meaning to, had shattered his heart into a billion pieces by moving across the world and then just randomly popped back into his life without warning.
He took a sip of orange juice, tried to pull it together, and smiled wide like he wasn't internally combusting.
"There she is," he grinned. "Mornin', Sleeping Beauty."
You giggled softly and now it was your turn to pull yourself together. "Morning Jayj."
Then you exchanged good mornings with everyone else.
JJ watched you walk toward the sink and turn on the faucet before bending down to drink straight from it, exactly the way you used to when you were kids. He couldn't help but smile at that.
And somebody would have to physically cover his eyes to keep him from staring.
Every single person in the kitchen noticed but you.
Sarah and Cleo looked at Kiara.
Kiara looked at Pope.
Then everybody looked at John B, who repressed a snort as he shook his head and went back to eating his cereal.
Everything slipped frighteningly easily back into place like the last five years had only been a weird pause instead of half a decade apart.
Whenever JJ wasn't working at the car shop he'd recently gotten a job at, you followed each other around like lost puppies. Just like you used to.
You always ended up beside each other somehow. On the HMS Pogue, in the Twinkie, during movies or meals, around the fire, on the dock.
He stole bites off your plate constantly and acted offended when you did it back even though he was the one who started it.
You stole his hats and he'd pretend to be annoyed, but secretly he loved seeing you wearing them more than anything. And he especially loved when you'd "forget" to give them back.
You teased each other relentlessly and never stopped bringing up childhood memories, but somehow neither of you could bring yourselves to mention the fake relationship you'd had when you were kids. Because now the feelings didn't feel silly anymore.
They felt terrifyingly real.
In fact, JJ had literally begged everybody not to "make things weird," which, of course, only made them want to make things weird even more.
You spent hours at the beach together, trying to outsurf each other, wandering the shoreline looking for shells and shark teeth, or laying side by side in the sand talking until the sky turned orange. And trying not to get caught staring at each other.
Everybody else caught it though.
You started learning each other all over again, especially on nights where you stayed up late talking together after everyone else went to bed. Usually just about silly things, but then, as you grew closer again, you'd both open up about things you'd never tell anybody else.
One night, you sat out on the dock, everything a little warm and fuzzy from the joint you'd just shared. You were leaning against JJ's shoulder, playing absentmindedly with the strings of his bracelet and he was trying very hard to be cool about it.
"I was really miserable when we first moved," you admitted quietly.
He glanced down at you. "Yeah?"
You nodded a little. "Really miserable. Eventually I did love it there. Like really love it and I made lots of friends. But at first... I dunno... it felt like somebody ripped me out of my life." You laughed soft and sad. "I didn't know anybody. I barely spoke the language. Everything felt confusing and different. I felt super alone for a while."
JJ frowned a little, but he didn't say anything. Just let you talk.
"My mom was working constantly. I didn't know how to explain to anybody there why I was so homesick because technically Argentina was so, so beautiful and so exciting and all these amazing things but…" Your voice softened. "I missed my friends in Durham. And I missed this place so much... I missed all of you..." You looked up at him. "Especially you."
His chest tightened hard enough to hurt and he immediately wrapped an arm loosely around your shoulders. "I missed you too."
You smiled immediately, nuzzling closer to him, wondering if he could feel the warmth that was suddenly radiating off your cheeks.
He looked out at the marsh for a long second, unable to stop smiling like an idiot, then squeezed your arm gently. "You got through it though."
You nodded. "Yeah."
JJ looked down at you for a second. "Long as you stick around, I'll make sure you're never lonely ever again."
You tilted your head up at him and saw that smirk that made you question the sweetness of the comment. "Oh yeah? And how exactly are you gonna do that?"
"Easy." He started counting off on his fingers.
"I'm gonna annoy the absolute hell outta you every day."
You laughed quietly.
"I'm serious. Like, it'll be constant. You won't know peace."
"Oh shit."
He put up another finger. "I'm gonna follow you around everywhere." Another finger. "I'm gonna steal your snacks."
You squinted. "You already do both those things."
"Exactly. Operation: Make sure Y/N is never lonely ever again has already commenced, you just didn't know it yet."
You shook your head, smiling again. "You're so ridiculous. I can't–"
Another finger. "And I'll probably start climbing through your window uninvited all the time too. Like I used to."
You giggled. "I wouldn't mind that."
JJ's grin faltered for half a second, just long enough for his chest to do something stupid. Then he recovered quickly. "Oh, you say that now, Shrimp. But I'm not a kid anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, frowning playfully.
"It means you're gonna wake up at like midnight and see some big scary man climbing through your window."
You burst out laughing immediately. "A big scary man? You?"
"Yeah. You'll be terrified."
"Oh my god. Somehow I think I'll survive, Jayj."
He grinned down at you. "Maybe." Then he bumped his knee against yours. "But, anyways, give it like two weeks before you're begging me to leave you alone."
"Nah," you said softly. "I don't think I will."
That answer stayed with JJ long after the conversation ended.
A few nights later, it was his turn to vent.
The two of you had had a few drinks and the liquor was tasting like you needed to walk.
So you did. Far.
You wandered aimlessly down the road from the Chateau, talking and laughing and being way too loud for a Tuesday night.
"Well," JJ said when you ended up at the Boneyard, already kicking off his shoes, "guess we gotta swim now."
You laughed, pulling your shirt over your head, completely oblivious to what that did to him. "Duh."
He forced himself to look away, yanking off his own shirt.
And you stared just as hard.
Moments later, the two of you were in the water in your bathing suits, the ocean dark and warm around you.
JJ splashed you in the face immediately.
You gasped. "Oh, you asshole–"
Then something brushed against your foot and you shrieked so loud it echoed across the beach.
He threw his head back laughing while you launched yourself toward him in blind panic, grabbing onto his shoulders.
"What?!" he laughed, hands grabbing your waist to steady you while your feet kicked uselessly beneath the water. "What happened?!"
You pulled yourself closer. "Something TOUCHED me!"
JJ's eyes widened in fake horror. "Oh. My. God. There's things in the ocean!?"
You tried to glare at him, but it was suddenly difficult to focus on anything except the fact that he was holding you like he was. At the feeling of his warm, calloused palms pressed against your bare skin.
"JJ... shut up." You mumbled as if you weren't actively melting in his hands.
He smiled and you both stared at each other for a moment, faces illuminated only by moonlight, suddenly realizing how close you actually were. Then a small wave pushed you even closer and suddenly all the fear you had of the ocean critters left your body.
You couldn't help but let out a nervous giggle and JJ's lips curled up a little more at the sound.
"You just gonna hang on me like a koala the whole time we're out here?" he teased softly.
You nodded, biting your lip and looping your arms around his neck. "Mmhm."
"That right?"
You nodded once. "That okay?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "That's cool."
Neither of you moved away. Or closer. You just floated there very aware of how easy it would be to close the distance, but way too scared to make a move.
You could've just floated there forever if the world would allow it.
So could JJ.
But, of course, his nerves and the urge to be an asshole took him over like he was possessed.
"You know," he said casually, "it's kinda like… prime shark feeding time right now. But if we stay like this they'll probably eat me first."
He regretted it immediately, because your mouth dropped open as fear overtook you again. You quickly wriggled out of his grip before swimming toward shore as fast as possible.
"JJ, what is wrong with you!?"
He winced and then began laughing so hard he almost swallowed saltwater.
You practically threw yourself onto the sand, breathing hard while he strolled calmly out a minute later.
He flopped down beside you and you punched him in the arm.
"Ow."
"Why are you still like this?"
He looked over, smiling dopily. "Like what, sharkbait?"
"You have literally always tried to scare me about sharks! Why!?"
"Because it's funny as fuck."
"You're the worst. Like... actually the worst."
"My bad." He grinned and carefully brushed soggy hair away from your cheeks. "Also, by the way, if you're scared of sharks, violently splashing around is probably not the move."
You huffed and rolled your eyes but he could see that tiny smile peaking through your annoyed expression.
He finished fixing your hair as best he could and reached into his backpack, pulling out a small bottle of Bacardi. "Peace offering?"
You narrowed your eyes. "Maybe."
He unscrewed the cap and took a sip before handing it to you.
"You seriously suck."
He just grinned wide and cocky at that. "So my plan to annoy the hell out of you is working?"
"Very well, actually."
"Damn." He started standing dramatically. "Guess I should leave you alone then."
"Noooo," you laughed immediately, grabbing his wrist before he could get up.
JJ looked down at your hand around his wrist for half a second before sitting back down. "Thought so."
You rolled your eyes, smiling into the bottle before taking a sip.
You talked a little more after that. The kind of talking that only seemed to happen late at night and beyond tipsy.
"So..." you said carefully. "Where did your dad go?"
JJ leaned back on his hands. "Ol' Luke?"
You nodded
He snorted once humorlessly. "Yucatán."
Your eyebrows lifted. "Yucatán? Why?"
"Running from the law."
You frowned a little.
JJ shrugged like it didn't matter. "It's fine though. He got way worse after you left."
Your chest tightened immediately, because you couldn't imagine how he could get any worse. "How?"
JJ still wasn't looking at you.
"He'd disappear for days. Get drunk. Did a lot more than just getting drunk... Coke. Pills. Probably already did all that but he stopped trying to hide that part completely." He shrugged like it didn't matter. "He started fights over nothin' more often... Normal shit."
Your heart cracked a little hearing how easily he said it, like he'd convinced himself it was normal.
"He smashed up the house a couple times." He laughed softly again, more bitter now. "Once, he beat my ass because I took the blame for sinking this Kook asshole, Topper's boat, and I needed money for restitution. Then I got the money and he decided 'screw the restitution,' and that he wanted to spend it on gambling or drugs or whatever-the-fuck instead. And when I tried to take the money back, he beat my ass for that too.. Messed up my ribs real bad."
Your eyes began to burn.
"I finally gave it right back to him that day though. Beat his ass... Told him I wasn't scared of him anymore." He scoffed and you could see a muscle in his jaw twitch. "I swear, if he tried anything again I was gonna actually snap. Do something I really regretted."
You carefully slid your hand over his and he flinched at first, mind still back with his sixteen year old self. Then he relaxed.
He glanced down at your hand on top of his and his expression softened just a bit, like the touch healed something in him. "It's whatever though... He's gone now."
Gone. Like that erased the trauma and the undeserved hell he'd lived through all his life.
"JJ," you whispered.
He finally glanced over and immediately noticed your expression and the way that your glossy eyes shined in the dim light. The way your lip began to wobble slightly.
"Hey," he said quickly. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're sad for me."
Your throat tightened. "I'm just... really sorry, Jayj. I hate that for you."
"Hey, no, I'm serious. It's fine." He said it like he was embarrassed for dumping all that on you.
"It's not fine."
He looked away again and the breeze lifted his hair softly as he stared out at the water.
And you couldn't help but think that he was most beautiful thing you'd ever seen in your life, and not in just the way he looked. Your chest physically hurt at the idea of anybody treating him that way.
Especially the person that was supposed to love him the most.
Without thinking, you scooted closer and wrapped your arms around him tightly, like if you held him tight enough, all the love you felt for him could replace all the unnecessary hate and heartbreak that he'd endured over the years.
He froze like he didn't know what to do with it, then melted into you completely, hugging you back like he needed to be held way more than he expected to. Like nobody had held him like this in a long time. Or maybe even ever.
Suddenly he wasn't embarrassed anymore, because you made him feel safe and heard in a way nobody ever had.
"You didn't deserve that," you whispered, tucking your face into his shoulder.
His jaw tightened immediately and you felt him swallow hard.
"Nobody shoulda treated you like that." Your voice cracked slightly at the end.
He let out the smallest shaky laugh and rested his cheek lightly against the top of your head, his own eyes filling a little.
"Jesus, Shrimp."
"I mean it."
He was quiet for another second.
"You're gonna make me emotional and shit," he mumbled into your hair.
You huffed out a small laugh and pulled back to look at him, before reaching up carefully and brushing some damp hair back from his forehead.
And then, because you couldn't help yourself, you leaned forward and pressed a tiny, lingering kiss to his cheek.
When you pulled back, JJ stared at you for a second like he forgot how to function completely. Then slowly, helplessly, the prettiest, warmest smile spread across his face.
You wanted to kiss him right then and there.
And, god, he wanted to too.
But instead he nervously cleared his throat and pulled his phone out of the side pocket of his bag before he could do anything stupid.
"Oh shit..." He squinted at the screen. "12:30."
You sighed. "Already?"
"Yeah. Gotta get up in like six hours."
You groaned dramatically and fell backward into the sand. "That sucks."
JJ snorted. "As much as I'd love to let you become one with the beach, we should probably head back."
"I guess."
He stood and offered you a hand. "C'mon. One last swim to get the sand off?"
You agreed and the two of you were back in the water, lazily floating beside each other. No shark jokes this time. Just quiet, drunk laughter and that strange, electric tension neither of you seemed to know what to do with.
And from that point on, it only got worse.
If you weren't together, you were texting.
If you weren't texting, you were calling.
And if you weren't calling, one of you was probably thinking about the other anyway.
A lot.
More than either of you probably should've been.
Enough that sometimes JJ would lay awake in bed with his hand in his boxers staring at the ceiling replaying tiny things you did over and over in his head– your hands on his arms, the way you chewed on your lip as you looked up at him all doe eyed, the way you hummed happily when he massaged sunscreen onto your shoulders.
Then he'd groan into his pillow afterward, annoyed at himself for being so completely gone for you.
And you weren't much better.
One hot Monday afternoon, you were laying in bed in nothing but your panties and one of his t-shirts, hugging the stuffed shark he'd given you when you were ten and staring at the pictures Sarah had taken of the two of you at the beach yesterday.
Your cheeks still felt warm from where your mind had wandered the last twenty minutes... and where your hand might've wandered.
One photo in particular kept making your stomach flip: JJ sitting beside you shirtless and sunburnt and smiling at you instead of the camera.
You bit your lip and groaned into your own pillow.
This was getting ridiculous.
Suddenly your phone began to ring and your heart jumped when you saw his name.
"Hello?"
"Sup."
You laughed immediately. "Sup witchu?"
"Just calling to check on my little burn victim."
Oh, your sunburn.
A smile immediately tugged at your lips. "Aw. That's so sweet, JJ," you teased.
Now he was smiling. "Yeah, well, I feel partially responsible."
You snorted.
"Alright. Mostly. Mostly responsible. "
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I only look like a lobster in a few places."
JJ groaned. "Oh no."
You laughed. "Oh yes."
"I put sunscreen everywhere. I was very thorough. Overly thorough."
"You definitely were not."
He let out a dramatic sigh. "Shit. I am so sorry, princess."
You couldn't stop smiling. "As you should be."
"I'll never forgive myself."
"Only God can forgive you."
JJ laughed. "How bad is it really?"
"It's fine. Just uneven."
"Sorry. I promise I'll do better next time if given the opportunity."
You giggled and it made him smile harder.
"I might..." You rolled onto your back across your bed. "What're you doing?"
"Working."
There was a metallic clang somewhere on his end.
"What're you doing?"
"Bored."
He laughed softly. "That's tragic."
"It is tragic."
"Come hang out with me."
Your eyebrows lifted. "At work?"
"Yeah."
"Your boss won't care?"
"Nah, he's cool. As long as I get my shit done."
You twirled a strand of hair around your finger, excited now. "I won't distract you."
There wasn't any universe where you wouldn't be distracting to him.
"Mmhm, sure."
You giggled again as you stood and walked over to your closet. "What? I won't. Promise."
"Just get over here, Shrimp."
You decided to walk since your house was barely a mile away from the shop.
When you peaked into one of the open garage bays, you immediately spotted JJ lying underneath a car, jeans and boots all covered in oil.
You quietly walked over and crawled underneath beside him and JJ nearly smacked his head on the undercarriage.
"What the f–" Then he saw it was you and his face relaxed immediately, a smile across his lips. "Oh. Hey, girl."
You smiled back. "Hi."
"You look sweaty."
"Yeah, probably 'cause it's like a hundred degrees outside."
"Fair."
You nudged his foot with yours. "You look sweaty too."
He nudged back. "I'm working."
You stared up at the bottom of the truck for a second as he went back to work, still smiling.
"You know what I could go for right now?"
JJ didn't look away from what he was doing. "What?"
"Ice cream."
He glanced over. "Ice cream?"
"Mhm." You reached over and wiped some grease off his cheek. "I saw that the place we used to go to as kids is still open."
"Salty Scoops?"
"Yeah."
JJ tightened a bolt before sliding himself out from beneath the truck. Then he looked back at you.
"Let's go after I get off."
Your smile widened. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'll pay."
Your smile turned teasing. "Like a good boyfriend should."
He froze for a second, a little caught off guard by that even though you saying things like that used to be so normal. Warmth immediately bloomed in his chest and a slow smirk pulled at his lips. He grabbed a clean rag off a nearby workbench before crouching back down beside you.
"Oh, we're still doing that?"
You rolled onto your side to look up at him. "If it means you buy things for me."
He barked out a laugh. "Wowww."
"You offered."
"Yeah, yeah." He crawled back underneath the truck beside you, still smiling to himself. "Using me for my money, huh?"
You snorted. "What money?"
"That's actually a really good point."
The two of you dissolved into laughter.
The rest of the afternoon flew by. You sat nearby while he worked, handing him tools, talking his ear off as usual and actually learning a few things.
You distracted him exactly as much as he'd predicted you would, but somehow he still got everything finished in record time.
After he clocked out, you climbed onto the back of his bike and both of your hearts did a weird little thing when your arms wrapped around his waist.
"Ready?" He asked without looking at you, because he couldn't control the stupid look on his face.
You were smiling equally as painfully hard. "Yeah."
The ride only lasted a few minutes, but neither of you wanted it to end, honestly.
You got two cones and sat across from each other at the same outdoor table you used to sit at years ago.
Neither of you stopped talking long enough to actually focus on your ice cream. Every story reminded one of you of another story. Every memory led to another memory.
At one point your ice cream began to drip down your arm after being neglected by your big mouth.
"Oh, shit."
You lifted your arm, and licked the melted streak away with one slow slide of your tongue, which JJ's eyes tracked the entire time.
He immediately felt terrible about what that one little innocent action did to him. He swallowed hard and tried to talk and listen, but now he noticed every single thing your mouth did. Every time you smiled at him around your ice cream and then licked your lips afterwards, or ran your tongue along the side.
He was almost relieved when you were done, even though he didn't want to have to take you home.
But he definitely didn't mind having your arms wrapped around his waist again. And neither did you.
"You should come say hi to my mom," you said as you hopped off his bike in your driveway. "She's been dying to see you."
JJ looked surprised. "Really?"
"Of course!"
"Okay. Yeah. I'll come in for a sec."
You walked into the kitchen and your mom looked up from the stove, where she was making dinner. Her eyes widened, recognizing that messy blond hair immediately.
"Is that JJ Maybank!?"
JJ laughed. "Hi, Ms. Y/L/N."
"Oh my goodness," she said, crossing the kitchen and pulling him into a tight hug. "Look at you." She pulled back to look at him again, cupping his cheek in one hand. "Good lord, you got handsome."
"Mom," you snorted, even though she was right.
JJ gave her a lopsided grin. "Why thank you."
She smiled warmly. "It's good to see you, sweetheart."
His face softened at how genuine she sounded and the way he smiled, a little shy, almost made him look like a kid again. "Good to see you too."
He ended up staying for dinner. Then a second dessert. Then another hour talking around the kitchen table and your mom showing him a billion pictures of you back in Argentina from over the years.
Eventually the two said their goodbyes and you walked him out, even though neither of you really wanted the day to end. As usual.
You hooked your thumbs into your pockets. "I'll come by the Chateau tomorrow."
He nodded. "Cool."
"Thanks for the ice cream."
"Anytime."
You giggled suddenly, tilting your head as you looked up at him. "It's crazy seeing you actually pay for sweets now."
He nodded, laughing a little. "Still a provider."
The familiar line hit both of you at the exact same time and suddenly the laughter faded a bit, because both of you remembered the last time he said it. Right before that one stupid three second kiss.
You both wondered if the other even remembered it or if it had become one of those childhood memories that faded away over time.
But, of course, neither of you were brave enough to ask, so instead you smiled. And he smiled back. And after another second he started backing toward his bike.
"Alright. See ya tomorrow, Shrimp."
"See ya tomorrow, Jayj."
Your mom watched out the window with the same knowing smile she'd had since you were kids as you sat on the porch steps and watched him ride down the road.
The answer to if either of you remembered the kiss came faster than expected... The next day, actually.
That night, everybody was in the Chateau living room watching a scary movie. It was significantly less scary than it was stupid, but everybody was very invested anyway.
The killer burst into the frame and you jumped so hard that you almost threw you and JJ's bowl of popcorn.
He barked out a laugh beside you. "Oh my god. That got you good."
You glared at him. "Shut up. It was scary."
"Yeah? You ok? You need to hold my hand, princess?" he teased, holding it out dramatically.
You rolled your eyes and smacked it away. Even though, yes, you would love to hold his hand. "No."
"Okay. Offer still stands."
"Thank you."
He grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl on your lap and shoved it in his mouth. "Just trying to be a good boyfriend."
You huffed out a laugh at this, cheeks warming and unable to help the little smile that spread across your face as you looked back at the TV. "Appreciate the effort."
From the floor, Sarah held up a plastic bag to Kiara.
"You want a Kiss?"
You both froze completely, faces dropping.
She nodded at the king sized Kit Kat bar his Kiara's hand. "I'll trade you for a piece of that."
"Deal."
The world seemed to stop when you both heard those words. The words that had repeated in your brains a billion times over the years.
Neither of you dared to look at each other. You both stared very intently at the TV for approximately two seconds...
Then your eyes flicked sideways at the exact same time.
A quiet laugh immediately bubbled up in your chest.
JJ's mouth twitched.
You both looked away again and neither of you were able to pay much attention to what was happening on the screen. You spent the rest of the movie trying to regain control of yourselves every time your eyes accidentally met.
By the time the credits rolled, neither of you had any idea how the movie ended. But you both knew one thing: Neither of you had forgotten.
One by one, everyone started standing up and stretching and picking up their trash.
"That movie was so stupid."
"Corniest shit I've ever seen."
"I want my two hours back."
Meanwhile, you and JJ stayed exactly where you were, unsure of what to do with yourselves now.
So JJ did what he usually did when he didn't know what to do.
"Wanna smoke?" His eyes flicked toward you.
You nodded immediately. "Yeah. Sure."
He grabbed a preroll from his room and you quietly followed him outside to the porch.
You plopped onto the couch and both of you propped your feet up on the coffee table.
For a second the silence felt strangely awkward. Not uncomfortable, just aware of what you were both thinking about and wandering if the other was going to bring it up.
Then your eyes met and you laughed softly.
"Should've seen your face," you mumbled.
He snorted. "Should've seen yours."
You smiled down at the joint in your hand. "I kinda wondered if you even remembered."
JJ looked over instantly. "It was my first kiss. How could I forget?"
It was way more than just that though.
You looked up and his expression was almost offended. The warmth that spread through your chest was actually ridiculous.
"Yeah."
He laughed quietly. "Honestly..." Then he stopped himself.
"What?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I kinda thought about it an insane amount."
Your brows raised a little. "Really?"
"I mean I...uh...I think any kid would," he said quieter, shrugging.
You nodded. "Yeah... I did too."
Now it was JJ's turn to look surprised. "You did?"
"Yeah."
You both dissolved into quiet, nervous giggles, then the laughter died and JJ's expression became a bit more serious.
"So…" he said casually, even though his stomach twisted a little. "You kiss any Argentina boys while you were away?"
He couldn't even look at you as he waited for the answer.
You snorted. "Maybe."
JJ hated that answer immediately. Even though he'd definitely had his fair share of...more than kisses... since you'd been gone himself.
He forced a dramatic gasp. "Baby... how could you?!"
You covered your mouth and laughed harder at that, cheeks quickly turning a bright shade of pink at the name.
"I thought we had something," he pouted. It was meant to be a joke even though to him, it was definitely not.
You reached over and squeezed his hand, playing along. "They meant nothing, Jayj, I promise."
This was also meant to be a joke. And it was also not.
And it pleased him way more than it should have even if he wasn't sure if it was true.
"Good."
You snorted softly.
He traced his thumb against your knuckles without really thinking about it, and your stomach flipped all over again.
"Because you know," he said after a minute, "we never really broke up."
"Oh my god," you mumbled, smiling helplessly down at your hands.
He grinned at the look on your face and let go, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just saying."
You shook your head. "We were actually ridiculous."
"Were?" he said immediately, raising an eyebrow.
You giggled. "Fair. We're still pretty ridiculous."
"Yup. That'll never change."
"Nope."
The conversation faded after that, but not because there wasn't anything left to say. There was just too much and neither of you were sure if you could.
The porch light cast a soft glow across both of your faces as smoke floated in the air around you and you both found yourselves staring at each other.
"What?" You nudged his foot with yours.
He blinked. "Huh?"
"You're staring."
"That's crazy, 'cause so were you."
"You started it."
"You started it."
You rolled your eyes. "What is it?"
He just looked at you, smiling a little, for a second too long. Then another.
Your chest squeezed at the intensity of it and you nudged his foot again. "Seriously. What, JJ?"
He shook his head and shrugged. "Nothin'."
You immediately kicked his foot. "No, now you gotta tell me."
JJ laughed. "Seriously. Nothin'."
You narrowed your eyes at the very obvious lie. "JJ."
"I was zoned out."
He watched you press the joint to your lips. Then his eyes lingered there as you exhaled, a little too obviously.
You noticed and swallowed a little. "Yeah, ok," you said, almost a whisper.
His eyes flicked up when he realized he'd been staring at lips and you held his gaze another second before passing him the joint. And this time when your fingers brushed, just barely, it hit you both harder than it ever had.
You watched JJ's eyes flick down toward your hands now. Saw his throat bob slightly as he swallowed. Then he looked away. Then back at you again.
You leaned your head back against the cushion, smiling soft and a little dopey and he couldn't help mirroring you.
"You're doing it again," you mumbled.
"Doin' what?"
"Looking at me funny."
His eyes narrowed. "Maybe you look funny."
You giggled and kicked his foot again but this time you left it there resting lightly against his.
He looked down and smiled a bit more.
Then after a second he cleared his throat. "Y/N, I..." His voice trailed off.
Something about the way he said your name made your heart beat a little faster. "Yeah?"
"I, uh..." He breathed out a laugh that sounded almost nervous. "I just—"
The screen door burst open.
"Oh my god, I'm starving." Kiara's voice shattered the moment completely.
John B and Sarah followed right behind her.
You and JJ jumped apart like you'd been caught doing something illegal. But neither of you knew what exactly.
Sarah immediately looked between the two of you and smirked. "Y'all look cozy."
Your eyes flicked to each other.
"I am pretty cozy," you said with a shrug, trying to act like your heart wasn't beating out of your chest. You looked over at him. "You cozy?"
He blinked a few times and tried to do the same. "Yeah. Yeah, super cozy."
John B looked between you and pointed toward the joint. "Can I hit that?"
"It's basically gone," JJ said, voice a little choked from nerves. "But go ahead."
Kiara plopped into a chair and placed her stash bag on the table. "I'll roll another one."
Within seconds everybody was talking over each other, but all you could do is wonder what JJ was about to say.
And all he could do is wonder if he was really about to say it.
okay, fair. but… what if someone does like your writing? even better, what if someone LOVES it? what if one person — just one person — finds your story and it makes their entire week? what if they love it so much it brings them to tears when they finish it? what if your writing becomes their safe space, a place they come back to when they’re feeling down? what if they love your writing so much they talk about it to their friends or get inspired to write their own story?
what if… your story makes someone feel seen, makes their life a little brighter?
I'M SORRY 😭😭😭😭 but i'm so glad you see it (i'm about to make it worse)
jj growing up without you after he finally had a friend, somewhere to escape to. he hasn't been to terabithia again. not until he meets the rest of the pogues when they're older and he's had a thing with his dad. none of them can find him all day and when he finally gets back to the chateau, he tells them about terabithia, about you, about how much he misses you.
GIRLLLLLLLUH. TF IS WRONG WITH U. great idea though I guessss😭😭😭 (it really is tho unforch) Already sent my reaction to you on snapchat but I'm here to tell you that I'm upset AGAIN
I'M SORRY 😭😭😭😭 but i'm so glad you see it (i'm about to make it worse)
jj growing up without you after he finally had a friend, somewhere to escape to. he hasn't been to terabithia again. not until he meets the rest of the pogues when they're older and he's had a thing with his dad. none of them can find him all day and when he finally gets back to the chateau, he tells them about terabithia, about you, about how much he misses you.
