Summary: Sex with Ji triggers a panic attack when he touches your throat, but he helps calm you down and stays by your side until you feel safe again.
Warnings: Sexual content, past trauma
Word Count: 4k
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One minute you were laughing against the hallway wall because he almost dropped his keys, the next his mouth was on yours, warm and hungry, hands at your waist like he couldnโt decide whether to pull you closer or worship the space between you.
Itโs still new, this thing with him. Two months of dates that ran past closing time, goodnight kisses that hovered on the edge of getting carried away. Tonight was the first time youโd really planned for it. No more โwe should slow downโ half-smiles. No more โnext timeโ with his hand pressed over the front of his jeans.
Next time is here.
His bedroom smells like skin and clean laundry and his cologne, that expensive warmth you swear you could pick out of a crowd. Youโre on your back, his body between your thighs, shirt half off his shoulders. His chain swings down and brushes your collarbone as he kisses his way along your jaw.
โYou okay?โ he murmurs, lips hovering at your ear.
You nod, nails skimming up his back. โYeah.โ
โTell me if itโs too much,โ he says, like he has every time youโve gone further than before. โPromise?โ
โI promise.โ
He relaxes, kisses you again, slower this time. Heโs always like this, half careful, half starving. Every time his hips roll down into yours, he pulls back to look at you, checking, checking, as if you might disappear if he gets it wrong.
Clothes end up on the floor in a trail. Thereโs a condom wrapper torn with shaking fingers. Youโre half laughing, half cursing at how long it feels like youโve both been waiting.
When he finally pushes into you, the breath leaves his lungs in a ragged sound.
โFuck,โ he whispers, forehead falling to your shoulder. โYou feelโฆ god, you feel good.โ
Itโs slow at first. Rocking, not thrusting. His hand is braced by your head, the other sliding down your side, thumb drawing a circle on your hip every time he sinks deeper. Heโs talking under his breath, little praises, half-formed words.
โSo pretty like this.โ
โBeen thinking about you all week.โ
โTell me if you want more, yeah?โ
You do.
You say so.
โMore,โ you breathe, hips rolling up to meet his. โJi, pleaseโฆโ
His rhythm stutters. He groans into your neck, pace picking up without him meaning to. The headboard thuds lightly with each movement, the sound making your face heat.
Somewhere in the haze of it, his hand slips up.
His fingers brush your throat.
You think itโs an accident at first. Heโs kissed your neck a dozen times. His hand has framed your jaw before, thumb tracing your cheekbone like heโs memorizing it. You donโt flinch at the touch, why would you? Itโs him.
Then his fingers curl a little tighter.
Not enough to hurt. Just enough pressure that your next inhale catches.
You hear his voice, rough in your ear. โYou okay? Too much?โ
Your body is already buzzing. You feel drunk on him. And itโs Ji, you remind yourself. Gentle, soft-spoken Ji who apologizes when his foot accidentally brushes yours under restaurant tables.
โIโm okay,โ you manage, and you are. Mostly. Thereโs a weird flicker in your chest, but you push it down. This is normal. People do this. Youโve heard friends talk about it like itโs nothing. A little roughness. A little hand at the throat.
His fingers tighten again, just a fraction.
Your heart jumps, then races.
You try to focus on the weight of his body, the sound of his breathing. The way heโs still checking your face, even as he thrusts a little harder, lips parted, hair falling into his eyes.
โFuck, youโre beautiful,โ he pants. โYou feel so good, babyโฆโ
The word snaps something you didnโt know was attached to anything.
Baby.
It was always baby with him, back then.
Your exโs face flashes up over Jiโs for half a second, sharp jaw, that lazy smile that never reached his eyes. You blink, and itโs gone. You clutch at Jiโs shoulders, nails digging in, grounding yourself in the solid heat of him.
โThis is Ji,โ you tell yourself. โYouโre safe. Youโre safe.โ
His fingers flex at your throat again, in time with his hips.
Your brain doesnโt hear โsafe.โ
It hears: no air.
The room tilts, edges blurring, the ceiling rippling like water. His fingers arenโt that tight, you know that, logically. But logic is already sliding out from under your feet.
โJi,โ you start, meaning to say wait. Meaning to say softer, please. Meaning to say something,
His grip tightens once, excited, unthinking.
Your vision tunnels.
You donโt see him anymore.
You see the hotel room.
You see the ugly beige lamp turned onto its side, still on, glare in your eyes. You see the smear of your lipstick on his collar, the way he laughed when you said stop like you were telling a joke.
You feel his hand on your throat, too big, too strong, thumb pressing hard enough that your eyes watered instantly.
โRelax,โ heโd said. โYou like it rough, right, baby? Iโve seen what you post. Donโt start pretending now.โ
You hear the sound of your own choking, ragged and panicked. The black spots at the edges of your vision. The way your nails scraped uselessly at his forearm while he pinned you down with his weight.
โAlmost there,โ heโd grunted. โDonโt you dare tap out now, you ruin everything..โ
You remember thinking: this is it.
Not like this. Not with him.
Not in a room that smells like bleach and a thousand strangers.
Your chest tightens so hard in the present that your whole body seizes.
Jiโs voice cuts through, distant and warbled. โBaby? Hey..hey, look at me..โ
You canโt.
You canโt see him.
All you see is that face and that lamp and those fingers digging into your windpipe while your world narrowed down to the lack of air.
Your hands fly to Jiโs wrist, but youโre not here. Youโre back there, adrenaline roaring, fingernails biting, your throat burning.
โStop..โ The word tears out of you, raw. โStop, stop, please, I canโt..โ
Ji recoils like youโve burned him.
His hand disappears from your neck, his weight jerks back, the condom slipping free as he stumbles off you.
โFuck..shit..hey..hey,โ he stammers, breathless for a completely different reason now. โIโm off, Iโm off, Iโm not touching you, I swear..โ
You donโt hear him.
Youโre curled on your side before you even register moving, hands flying to your throat, gasping air that doesnโt feel like itโs getting in. The room is spinning. The lamp is wrong. The sheets are wrong. But your body doesnโt care.
You canโt get enough air.
You canโt get enough away.
Ji freezes for half a second, completely naked, completely lost.
Then he moves.
He grabs the discarded T-shirt from the floor and pulls it on with shaking hands, swearing under his breath when he gets the head hole wrong the first time. He doesnโt touch you. Every muscle in him is screaming to, but he doesnโt know if thatโll make things worse.
โHey,โ he says, dropping to his knees by the side of the bed. โHey, look at me..no, itโs okay, donโt, justโฆ can you hear me?โ
Youโre rocking, you realize dimly. Your hands are a vise at your throat, nails pressing so hard youโre going to bruise your own skin. Your breaths are high, shallow, too fast. You canโt see him. You see him.
โPlease,โ you choke. โPlease, Iโll be good, Iโll be good, just..โ
The words slam into Ji like a truck.
Heโs heard you beg before. Heard you whine and curse and say please in ways that made his head spin. This is not that. This is something brittle and terrified, ripped from a place he didnโt know lived in you.
His first instinct is to touch. To grab your hands and pull them away so you donโt hurt yourself. To curl around you and hold you until you remember who he is.
His second instinct, alarmingly close behind, is to put a fist through a wall and then through the face of whoever made you sound like that.
He does neither.
โIโm Ji,โ he says instead, forcing his voice low and steady. โItโs me. Weโre at my place, remember? The ugly lamp you made fun of? No one else is here.โ
No reaction.
Youโre staring at some point past him, eyes wide, pupils huge. Tears stream down your temples into your hairline.
He swallows, heart pounding. He runs through everything heโs ever known about panic attacks, flashbacks, grounding, bits of interviews heโs done, things heโs overheard staff mention, one awful documentary he watched on PTSD because he thought the title sounded poetic.
โOkay,โ he says more to himself than to you. โOkay. Grounding. We can try that.โ
He keeps his distance, hands visible.
โCan youโฆ can you tell me five things you can see?โ he asks gently.
Your gaze flicks, unfocused. For a moment, he thinks you didnโt hear.
Then: โLamp,โ you whisper, voice shaking. โCurtains. Floor. Bed. Y-you.โ
The last one is barely audible.
Relief punches through him so hard he sways.
โGood,โ he says quickly. โThatโs good, baby. Youโre doing so good. Four things you can feel?โ
โMyโฆ throat,โ you rasp. Your fingers twitch, like youโre just now realizing youโre still clutching it. โS-sheets. Myโฆ hands. Air.โ
โYeah,โ he says. โYouโre breathing, see? Itโs coming in. I know it feels like itโs not, but it is. Youโre here. With me.โ
You suck in another breath, a little deeper this time. It sticks, but it goes down.
โCan you smell anything?โ he asks. โOne thing.โ
His cologne, you think dimly. The detergent on his sheets. The faint, sweet-sour scent of sex in the air.
โY-you,โ you manage.
His eyes go glossy.
โYeah,โ he says softly. โMe. Just me.โ
Your fingers loosen, slowly, from your throat. Your chest still feels locked, but some part of your brain is catching up now, replaying the last ten seconds.
Jiโs weight. His hand. You saying it was okay. The way his face changed when you said stop.
Shame slams into you so hard you almost retch.
โIโm sorry,โ you gasp, sitting up too fast. The room tilts. You grab the headboard with one hand, pressing the other over your mouth like you can stuff the words back in. โFuck, Ji, Iโm so sorry, Iโm so sorry..โ
โHey, hey, no,โ he says, alarmed. โDonโt.. you donโt have to apologize. Iโm the one who.. I shouldโve asked, I..โ
โI said it was okay,โ you babble, heart hammering. โI said I was fine, I just.. I thought I was. I didnโt know I would.. Iโm not.. Iโm not freaking out because of you, I swear, I know itโs you, I just.. I didnโt for a second and..โ
Your vision blurs again.
โBreathe,โ he says. โPlease, justโฆ breathe. Can I sit on the bed?โ
You nod, dragging in another shaky inhale.
He climbs up slowly, like youโre a scared animal he doesnโt want to spook. He sits in front of you, cross-legged, as far as he can be while still being close.
โIโm so sorry,โ he says, the words low and rough. โI shouldnโt have put my hand there without talking about it first. Thatโs on me. You donโt have to fix this for me.โ
You stare at him.
His hair is sticking up in a dozen directions. His T-shirt is crooked. Thereโs a faint red mark around his wrist where youโd grabbed him. His eyes are huge, dark, frantic.
โI wanted it,โ you say, hoarse. โAt first. I thought I could handle it. People do stuff like this every day, right? I didnโt think..โ
โYou donโt have to want anything you donโt want,โ he cuts in. โAnd even if you wanted it five minutes ago and you donโt anymore, thatโs fine. Thatโs normal. You say stop, itโs done. I donโt care if itโs because you remembered you have to do laundry. I stop. Always.โ
The certainty in his voice makes your eyes sting.
โI wasnโt seeing you,โ you whisper. โThatโs what scared me. Iโฆ I was somewhere else. With someone else.โ
His jaw clenches.
โThe ex?โ he asks, carefully.
You nod, fingers tightening in the blanket.
โI thoughtโฆโ You swallow. โI thought Iโd dealt with it. Therapy, time, all of it. I thought choking wasโฆ off limits, you know? And then with you, I felt safe, and I thought maybeโฆ maybe I could rewrite it. Make a new memory over the old one.โ
He goes very still.
โAnd then for a second it was justโฆ him again,โ you finish, voice breaking. โSame hand. Same feeling. Sameโฆ panic. Like I was right back there and I couldnโt breathe and I couldnโt move and my body just..โ
You gesture helplessly at yourself, at the wreck youโve become in the last five minutes.
Jiโs hands curl into fists on his knees.
โWhat did he do?โ he asks softly. โIf you canโฆ if you want to tell me.โ
You close your eyes.
โSame thing,โ you say. โExcept he didnโt stop when I asked.โ
Silence drops between you, heavy and humming.
Ji stares at you, at the red marks blooming at your throat, his, this time, even if they were light.
A slow, hot rage uncoils in his chest. Heโs never wanted to find someone and hurt them more in his life. The thought of that manโs hands on your neck makes his vision blur at the edges.
He imagines showing up at his door. No cameras, no security, no witnesses. Just his fists and all the anger heโs never really let himself feel.
He almost stands.
Then he looks at you again.
Youโre shaking, knuckles white where you clutch the blanket, eyes darting to his hands like youโre wondering what theyโll do next.
He forces himself to uncurl his fingers.
Killing the guy who did this to you would not fix what happened tonight. It would not unhook the wire between fingertips on your throat and terror in your lungs. It would not give you back those seconds where you didnโt know who you were with.
Right now, the person in front of him needs him here. Not fantasizing about revenge.
He breathes. In. Out. In again.
โThank you for telling me,โ he says. โI know that wasnโt easy.โ
You let out a humorless laugh. โIt was easier than almost passing out on top of you.โ
He winces. โDonโt. Please donโt make jokes that make me want to throw myself out the window.โ
โIโm serious,โ you insist weakly. โThis isโฆ new for you, right? I didnโt want to scare you off with all myโฆ baggage.โ
He frowns. โItโs not baggage, itโsโฆ shit that happened to you. And yeah. Itโs new. Iโve never been with someone who..โ
He breaks off, searching for the right words.
โIโm not scared of you,โ he says finally. โIโm scared of hurting you more than youโve already been hurt. Thatโsโฆ thatโs it. I want to get it right. Thatโs all.โ
The simplicity of it makes your throat tighten in a completely different way.
โI donโt know how to do this,โ you admit. โI donโt know what to ask for. Or what to avoid. Or how much is too much to tell you.โ
โWe figure it out,โ he says. โTogether. You donโt have to give me a manual tonight. Or ever, if you donโt want to. Justโฆ talk to me. Like you did now. And Iโll listen. And if I fuck up, like I just did, you tell me, and Iโll fix it.โ
You stare at him. โYou didnโt know.โ
โI knew enough to ask,โ he says. โI didnโt. Thatโs on me. Iโm not going to sit here and go โwell, you said it was okayโ when clearly something inside you didnโt agree. I care more about that,โ he nods at your chest, โthan my ego about being a good lover.โ
The word makes your face heat even now.
He notices, a corner of his mouth twitching.
โAre youโฆ still feeling like youโre there?โ he asks gently. โOr are you more here now?โ
You take stock.
The room is clearer. The lamp is ugly and familiar, not the harsh cone of someone elseโs shame. The sheets smell like laundry soap and his skin, not cheap hotel bleach. Your chest still feels tight, but you can tell air is actually moving.
โMore here,โ you say.
โOkay,โ he says. โDo you want to shower? Clean up? I can get you clothes. Or I can sit on the floor and recite my entire discography until you get bored and yell at me.โ
A reluctant smile twitches at your lips. โPlease donโt.โ
He puts a hand to his heart, mock offended. โWow. I offer you music and you reject me. Maybe Iโm the traumatized one.โ
You huff a tiny laugh, then immediately feel guilty.
โI shouldnโt be laughing,โ you say. โThis is..โ
โThis is allowed to be whatever it is,โ he says. โIf you laugh, you laugh. If you cry, you cry. Thereโs no right script for this. Okay?โ
You nod.
โIโd like a shower,โ you say after a moment. โIf thatโs okay.โ
โYeah, of course,โ he says instantly, getting to his feet. โIโll get fresh towels. And a shirt that doesnโt smell like fear.โ
You watch him move around the room, scooping up clothes, rummaging for the softest hoodie he owns. His hands still shake, just a little, every time his fingers brush his own T-shirt.
When he passes you the towel and clothes, he doesnโt let his fingers graze yours. You notice.
โYou can touch me,โ you say quietly. โItโs okay.โ
He searches your face. โYou sure?โ
You nod. โIโll tell you if that changes.โ
He exhales, tension easing from his shoulders.
He steps closer, bends, and presses the lightest kiss to your forehead. No hands on your throat. No weight pinning you down. Just lips against skin, feather-soft.
โIโll be right out here,โ he says. โDoor cracked. If you need me, just say my name. I donโt care if youโre mid-shampoo, Iโm coming in.โ
You actually smile. โYes, ahjussi.โ
He groans. โYou did not just ahjussi me after a trauma episode.โ
โSorry,โ you say, not sounding sorry at all.
He flicks your knee very gently. โShower, brat.โ
The water helps.
You stand under the spray, letting it beat against the back of your neck, eyes closed. You concentrate on the sensation, the warmth, the slip of soap, the sound of the stream hitting tile. You wash your throat carefully, fingertips ghosting over the faint marks.
Theyโre light. Nothing like the fingerprint-dark bruises you woke up with that other time.
You press your palm over your sternum.
โThis is Ji,โ you tell yourself. โNot him. Different hands. Different heart.โ
By the time you step out, wrapped in his hoodie and the softest sweatpants he owns, your breathing is mostly back to normal. The edges of the panic have dulled. The flashback feels more like a horrible movie clip than a present tense.
Ji looks up from his spot on the floor beside the bed, where heโs been sitting, knees drawn up, scrolling aimlessly on his phone just to keep himself from pacing a hole in the rug.
His shoulders sag with relief when he sees you.
โHey,โ he says softly. โYou look comfy.โ
You tug the hoodie sleeves over your hands. โI stole your best one.โ
โIโll allow it,โ he says. โCome here?โ
You hesitate only for a second before climbing onto the bed. He joins you on top of the blankets, sitting cross-legged again, turning to face you.
โDo youโฆ want to be held?โ he asks. โOr do you want space?โ
โHeld,โ you say, surprised by how easy the answer comes.
He opens his arms, slow and careful. You crawl into them, curling against his chest. His heart is racing under your ear.
โYour heartโs going crazy,โ you murmur.
He huffs a soft laugh, hand coming up to rest between your shoulder blades. โYeah, well. I just watched the person I like have a panic attack caused by my dumb horny hand. Not my chillest night.โ
You wince. โDonโt call it that.โ
โSorry,โ he says immediately.
You grip his shirt, fingers twisting in the fabric. โItโs not your fault. I mean it. Thatโฆ trigger? It was there before you ever touched me. You stepped on it, yeah. But you didnโt put it there.โ
He presses his chin lightly to the top of your head.
โMaybe,โ he says. โBut now that I know where it is, Iโm not going anywhere near it again unless you specifically hand me a map and a safety manual.โ
You short laugh into his chest. โI donโt think there will be a manual.โ
โThen Iโll improvise and over-communicate,โ he says. โTwo things Iโm great at, apparently.โ
You sink into him, listening to the rumble of his voice. The aftershocks of the panic are still there, small tremors in your spine, a lingering ache in your throat, but theyโre softer with him around you.
โCan I ask for something?โ he says, after a while.
โYeah.โ
โIfโฆ this ever happens again,โ he says slowly, โcan you promise me youโll tell me before we get to this point? Not theโฆ choking specifically. Justโฆ if something feels off. If youโre not sure. If youโre forcing yourself to do something because you think you should like it.โ
You stare at his collar, at the faint thread near the seam thatโs coming loose.
โI didnโt want to be the difficult girlfriend,โ you admit. โThe one with rules. The one who winces at things other people are into.โ
He pulls back enough to look at you. His eyes are very, very serious.
โI donโt want a cool girlfriend,โ he says. โI want you. The you that sleeps with the light on sometimes. The you that makes fun of my lamp. The you that says no when her body is screaming at her. Thatโs the one I like.โ
Your chest tightens for a completely different reason.
โOkay,โ you whisper. โIโll tell you. Next time. If there is a next time.โ
โThere will be,โ he says, then winces. โI mean, only if you want there to be. But Iโm not running just because tonight gotโฆ heavy. I donโt scare that easy, you know?โ
โYou should,โ you say, voice small.
He brushes a strand of hair back from your face. โNah,โ he says softly. โYouโre the least scary thing in my life.โ
You believe him.
Not because the panic magically disappears, or the memory fades, or the ex suddenly stops existing. But because heโs here, warm and solid and a little shaken, choosing to stay even when it would be easier to bolt.
โSomeday,โ he adds, voice quiet, โif you ever want to tell me his nameโฆ you can. Not because Iโll go find him.โ His mouth twists. โEven though I want to. Just so I can know exactly who Iโm cursing under my breath when you flinch at stupid shit like movie scenes.โ
You let out a breath thatโs halfway between a laugh and a sob.
โMaybe,โ you say. โNot tonight.โ
โNot tonight,โ he agrees.
He shifts, easing both of you down onto the bed, keeping you tucked against him. One hand rests on your back, the other laces with yours on his chest.
โYou okay if I turn the lights off?โ he asks.
โLeave the lamp,โ you say. โItโs ugly, butโฆ I kind of like it.โ
He smiles into your hair. โSee? Told you. You and my ugly lamp, meant to be.โ
You swat his chest lightly. โShut up.โ
He hums, low and fond.
โSleep,โ he says. โI got you. If you wake up and itโs bad again, just say my name. I donโt care if itโs the fifth time. Iโll keep saying โitโs meโ until it sticks.โ
You believe that, too.
You fall asleep with your fingers tangled in his shirt, his heartbeat steady under your ear, his hand a warm, gentle weight on your back, nowhere near your throat.
Even if the past still has claws, the present has arms.
SYNOPSIS. Thereโs a killer hunting virgins in the city. And when you realize you could be next, you turn to the one person you trust most to help you stay alive: your best friend, Vernon.
WARNINGS. Ambiguous/open ending, explicit sexual content, consensual non-consent, virginity loss, psychological distress, gore/violence mentions, murder references, manipulation, stalking, fear, dark themes, dry humping, nipple play, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), fingering, pussy eating, cum eating, multiple orgasms, lots of teasing, unprotected sex (you know itโs bad), creampie, aftercare.
AN. This is probably the most spontaneous writing I've had in the last few days, I literally sat down and wrote after DAYS without writing anything. But this is very different from anything I've ever posted here, so please make sure you've read all the warnings. Dividers credit.
READ ON AO3
The sirens hadnโt stopped in three days. They echoed through the streets, cutting through the air unmercifully. What was likely one of the most shocking and tragic events in the cityโs history was now being called The Virgin Massacre by the news. Every victim had been found the same way, same pattern, same mark carved into their skin.ย
The whole city was locking doors, lighting candles, closing their curtains, praying that superstition might save their daughters. Meanwhile, you were making your way home after a 12-hour shift with the rain falling relentlessly and cold, turning the streets into a blur of reflections, red lights bleeding into puddles, the wind carrying the sound of distant sirens and the bustling city.ย
You put your coat tighter around you, hurrying down the block, your shoes clicking on the wet pavement. It was late โ too late โ and you cursed yourself for staying behind at the cafรฉ. Youโd promised Vernon and your mom earlier youโd head straight home after work, but the manager had begged you to help close up.ย
Now you were paying for it with every step echoing through the nearly empty street.
Your breath came out shallow bursts. The air smelled like rain and fear, one that had settled over the entire city since the murders began. Every news alert, every whisper online said the same thing: the victims were all virgins.ย
At first, youโd laughed it off, thinking it was all a rumor. But tonight, when you saw the police cars two streets away and the white sheet covering another girlโs body, virgin scrawled across the wall beside her in a deep, bleeding red, the joke stopped being funny.ย
You pulled your phone from your pocket and hit Hansolโs name. One ring. Two. Three.ย
โPick up, pick up, come on,โ you muttered under your breath, glancing over your shoulder. The street should've been empty at these hours, but there was a tall figure walking a few steps behind, the heavy rain blurring the face of whoever it was.
โPeach?โ Vernonโs voice finally came through the other line, rough, sleepy, calling you by the nickname he gave you ages ago.ย
โHansol,โ you exhaled in relief, voice trembling, โI think someoneโs following me.โ
โWhat?โ
Your pace quickened. You turned a corner, splashing through puddles as you increased the speed. โI just left work. There is a man and heโs been behind me since the main street. I looked back, and heโโ
Another sound cut you off. This time, of a foot falling into a puddle. A loud gasp escaped you, but not loud enough to be a scream.
โY/N, where are you right now?โ Vernonโs tone was serious, more than you ever heard him sounding. You scanned your surroundings until your eyes landed on a street sign and you told him. โRun. Donโt look back. Iโm coming. Keep me on the line.โ
The phone slipped slightly in your shaking hand as you ran. Your breath tore at your lungs, the rain stinging your face. You could hear the rhythm of footsteps matching yours getting closer by the way they echoed through the street. You darted across the street, heart hammering against your ribs, keys already in your palm. You could see your building now, just a block away.ย
โHansol,โ you whispered into your phone, โI think heโs still there.โ
โIโm almost there, peach.โ
Something darted behind you, a shadow slicing across the glow of the streetlamp. You screamed and bolted, fumbling with your keys. Finally, you dashed inside the building and raced up the stairs without a glance back, footsteps chasing you, hurried and heavy. Somehow, you made it to your apartment, slamming into the door. Your hands shook too violently to fit the key.ย
The steps were already on your floor when you jammed the key into the lock, shoved the door open, and slammed it shut. One, two, three locks clicked into place at record speed, your chest heaving as you pressed yourself against the door, trying to get your pulse back under control.
Silence. Except for your heart roaring in your ears.
You pressed your back against the door, chest rising and falling too fast. Your hands were numb, your hair dripping down your neck, your body was shaking from head to toe. You watched through the peephole the hallway light flickered once, twice, before steadying again.ย
You don't know how long youโd stayed there until a knock came through. You nearly screamed when you heard his voice.ย
โY/N?โ
You yanked the door open to find Vernon there completely drenched, breathless, eyes wild. He must have ran straight over.ย
โAre you okay?โ he asked, stepping inside before you could answer. His hands cupped your face checking you over for bruises, or any way you could be hurt.
โI donโt know,โ you managed to say, voice shaking. โI think he followed me here.โ
Hearing this, Vernon locked the door, double-checked the windows, the rooms and closets of your apartment, then turned back to you, who was sitting on the living room floor now, your knees pressed against your chest and your head buried in your arms, body still trembling, although you didn't know if it was from fear or cold anymore.
You couldnโt believe youโd almost been killed tonight. Killed because you were a virgin. A twenty-something virgin, but a virgin nonetheless. And now you were at risk of being killed because you'd never had sex. How ironic was life?
Itโs not like you planned on being a virgin forever. It wasnโt even your desire, it just hadnโt happened before because youโd never felt that way with any guy. Well, there was one guy that you felt that way, but you didn't think heโd look at you that way.
You heard his footsteps echoing through the silent apartment until he knelt in front of you, trying to lift your head to look at him. โHey. Youโre safe now. Iโm here.โ
You nodded, though the words didnโt reach you. Your body was trembling so hard you could barely stand, your thoughts working a million miles an hour. Vernon guided you toward the couch, wrapping you in a blanket, crouching in front of you again.ย
โWhat exactly happened?โ he asked softly.ย
โI saw him. Dark jacket, hood up, red mask. I thought I was being paranoid, but then he started walking faster when I did. And when I ranโฆโ you swallowed hard, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as your brain slowly processed the seriousness of the situation, โhe ran too.โ
Vernonโs jaw tightened. You knew that was the way he showed he was angry. โDid you see his face?โ
You shook your head. โNo. Butโฆโ you hesitated, lowering your voice. โThe police found another victim near the coffee house. She was my age. Andโโ
โAnd she was a virgin,โ he finished grimly.
Tears were now falling down your cheeks uncontrollably without you even noticing, your lower lip trembling with the same intensity. โIโm scared.โ
He reached out, taking your cold hands in his. โYouโre safe now. I promise.โ
You closed your eyes, shaking your head and letting more tears fall down. โYou canโt promise that.โ
Vernon really wanted to argue, but something about the fear in your eyes stopped him. Instead, he just said, โSo youโll come stay with me at my place. We donโt know if he might still be out there.โ
Outside, thunder rolled, rattling the windows so hard it made you flinch.ย
โOkay.โ
โAnother young woman has been brutally murder tonight,โ the stern-faced reporter announced into a microphone. โThe killer is still at large. Citizens are urged to stay indoors and lock their doors.โย
You sat curled on Vernonโs couch, your knees pressed tightly to your chest. It was already the third night youโd spent at his apartment, too scared to be on your own, not that heโd let you go, anyway. Heโd been the one to invite you to stay, and now you were practically quarantined together, hadnโt stepped outside in days, hadnโt even ordered food, terrified that the next delivery man could be him.
During this time, two more girls were murdered, and the pattern only grew clearer and clearer. Vernon had already begged you multiple times to stop watching the news, to stop feeding your fear, but you couldnโt help yourself. The anxiety would come either way, whether you knew what was happening or not.
You watched the news attentively and didnโt speak until the reporterโs voice faded completely.ย
โHansol,โ you whispered, wrapping your arms around your body, โthese girls were about our age.โ
He looked up from where he stood by the window, watching the rain. His jaw flexed. โI know.โ
You swallowed hard, twisting the string of your sweater between your fingers. โAll the victimsโฆ they were all virgins. I am too.โ
The living room went quiet as you turned off the TV, leaving only the low hum of the storm outside. When he didnโt say anything, you glanced away from the dark reflection on the screen to his face. His eyes were tired, red around the edges.ย
Just as you, Vernon hadnโt slept either, helping you whenever you woke up in the middle of the night, shaken from another nightmare of being followed. He'd talk to you until your breathing evened out again. And knowing him the way you did, it wouldnโt surprise you to learn he stayed awake afterward, just sitting there in the dark, keeping watch until morning.
Youโd been best friends since middle school, inseparable, always there for each other when things got bad. And now things were worse than theyโd ever been.
โPeachโโ he started, but you cut him off.ย
โI donโt want to die, Hansol.โ
He froze at the sound of your voice. Having known you his whole life, Vernon could always tell when fear was real, and this time, it was. The tremor in your tone said more about your vulnerability than any tears ever could.
โYouโre not going to die.โ
โYou donโt know that.โ Your voice cracked. Vernon's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, unsure how to calm you when he was barely keeping it together himself. โEvery single person whoโwho died was like me. I was almost one of them, and I donโt want to be next. I canโt just wait here forโโ you stopped yourself, shaking your head like you could chase away the fear. You met his eyes again. โYouโre the only one I trust.โ
It was now or never. Youโd been stewing over this idea for days, ever since you started staying here with him. Not that it was a new thought; if you were being honest, it had been simmering in the back of your mind for a while. But given the circumstances, this felt like the perfect moment to finally summon the courage to say what youโd been holding in for so long. At least now, you had an excuse.
You got up from the couch, moving slowly, and Vernonโs eyes stayed on you. โPeach, what are you saying?โ
โThereโs one way I wonโt fit the pattern.โ
โOkay, and how do you plan onโโ He stopped mid-sentence, realization dawning as you bit your lip and got closer to him. โOh no. No, no, no, no, no. You canโt possibly mean thatโโ
You tugged nervously at the sleeve of his Star Wars shirt. โI do. Youโre the only person I trust, Hansolie.โ
The way you said his name โ soft, pleading โ made him shut his eyes tight, as if that could block out the look he knew you were giving him.ย
โPeach.โ His laugh came out nervous and strangled. โThatโs not exactly what they teach you in self-defense.โ
โIโm not joking, Hansol.โย
โI know youโre not, thatโs the worst part.โ He ran a hand down his face, trying to process it, heart suddenly going a mile per minute inside his chest, and it most definitely wasnโt because of the thought and fear that there was a killer on the loose. โDo you hear yourself right now?โ
โYes,โ you said quickly. โAnd Iโve been thinking about it since the second murder. Itโs logical.โ
โY/N, itโs insane.โ
โMaybe.โ You shrugged helplessly. โBut it might save my life. Do you really want to be without a best friend?โ
His eyes searched yours, to see if this wasn't a very nasty prank you were playing on him. โSo you want me toโโ
โTake my virginity, yeah,โ you murmured, tugging lightly at his sleeve again. Your voice held a mix of courage and certainty he was sure heโd never seen before. Still, your eyes gave away the spark of nerves beneath it.
Vernonโs brain blue-screened. Like, thereโs just no way this was his real real life. Either he accidentally overdosed on coffee or heโs straight-up dreaming, because the girl heโs been low-key simping for since forever โ his very own best friend, the one he never had the nerve to even flirt with โ could not have just proposed that to him. Maybe he was overtired. Maybe the world glitched for a second. Vernon didnโt know.ย
He opened his mouth to argue, but his heart was hammering so fast now it drowned out his thoughts. โWhy me, peach?โ
โLike I said, I trust you the most.โ Your voice softened. โAnd because you wonโt make it weird.โย
โMake it?โ He barked out a nervous laugh. โThis is already super weird.โ
You gave him a look that was somehow both terrified and amused. โWould it help if I said I actually like you?โ
It was always funny to hear people say your best friend was a man of few expressions. To you, he was the most expressive person you knew, people just never paid close enough attention to him like you did. Right now was one of these examples, when Vernonโs eyes looked like they might pop out of their sockets, his eyebrows threatened to touch his hairline, and his mouth hung open in shock.
โLike me? Likeโlike me like me?โ
โHansol, weโre not in middle school,โ you said, rolling your eyes with a mix of amusement and exasperation.
โI just need to confirm which level of insanity weโve reached tonight!โ
You smiled faintly despite the situation. โYouโre cute when you panic.โย
He was pretty sure his soul left his body for a second. โYou canโt just say stuff like that right before asking toโฆ to...โ
โTo help me not get murdered?โ you finished bluntly. โNot die a virgin?โ
He groaned, dragging his hands down his face again and crossing the living room trying to get some space so his head could finally fully function. It was funny that for someone who was usually a thinker, he was doing it very little and with very low performance right now.
โYouโre actually unbelievable.โ
โAm I wrong?โ you challenged, crossing your arms. โIf you say no, Iโll just ask someone else."
He snapped his head up. โExcuse me?โ
โI mean, if itโs about our friendship, I get it. But I donโt exactly have time to be picky right now.โ
โAnd who else would you ask such a thing?โ
โI mean, there's Chan andโโ
โDonโtโdonโt even joke about that,โ he cut you off mid-sentence, and if you didnโt know any better, youโd swear there was something possessive in the way he looked at you. โYouโre not asking anyone else.โ
You sighed. โThen say yes.โ
โPeach,โ he warned, voice low, but you didnโt flinch, walking towards him again.
โHansol, Iโm scared.โ Your voice broke then. โAnd youโve always protected me. Every single time something bad happened, you were there.โ
You sounded scared, yes. But layered beneath it were a thousand other unspoken things, suggestive things, that made his chest tighten at the possibility. It was impossible to reconcile them with the fact that you were his best friend, the one person he knew wasnโt supposed to be needy for him. Except maybe you actually were.
Vernon met your eyes, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke, just stared at each other. The storm roared outside, but in that tiny apartment, the only sound was your uneven breathing, your chest rising and falling, his mind going around in circles.ย
โTell me this isnโt just fear talking,โ he said finally.
โItโs not.โ You took a shaky breath. โIโve been in love with you since we were sixteen, Hansol.โ
His world tilted slightly. โYou pick now to tell me that?โ
โWell, I didnโt think Iโd have a deadline.โ
He laughed under his breath, but it wasnโt funny, more disbelief, panic, and affection tangled together. Vernon stepped closer, hardly believing he was really doing this, until the space between you was almost nonexistent.
You both stood there for a moment, caught in an awkward silence, hands hanging uselessly at your sides. Vernon could feel the tension buzzing in the air between you. Someone had to do something. And it had to be him. He was supposed to be the one guiding you through this, because it was your first time. If he hesitated any longer, you might rethink everything, maybe even walk over to Chanโs place instead. And that thought alone was enough to make him move.
โY/N,โ he murmured, his voice gentler now, breathing hitting your face. โIf I do this, itโs not just some survival plan. I donโt want to be something you regret.โ
Your eyes softened as you shook your head. โI wonโt. I could never regret you.โ
Vernon exhaled shakily, unable to believe this was really happening. โYou sure?โ he asked, searching your face for any signs of hesitation again. There wasnโt any.ย
You nodded without wavering. โIm sure. I want this, and I want it with you.โ
Slowly, like he was afraid youโd change your mind, he lifted a hand to your cheek, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your skin was soft and warm beneath his fingertips, and you couldnโt help but let your eyes flutter shut at the gentleness of the touch.ย
โYouโreย beautiful,โ he murmured, leaning in closer until you could feel the heat of his breath on your face. โAnd I donโt want you to ever forget that.โ
His words made your heart skip a beat, and you felt a flush spread across your cheeks. Youโd never thought youโd hear those words from him, especially not in this context. But now that you were finally giving in to what youโd both been feeling for so long, it felt right.ย
โKiss me, Hansol.โ Your voice came out in an almost desperate whisper.
โNow?โ
You opened your eyes, finding that teasing curve already on his lips. Once a ragebaiter, always a ragebaiter. โWell, it could be tomorrow, but I kind of have a deadline here andโโ
He didnโt let you finish. His hands came up, cupping your face, and then his lips were on yours.ย
It was slow and explorative at first, his mouth moving against yours like he was trying to memorize the taste and feel of you. You melted into him instantly, fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt just to keep yourself from turning into a puddle on the floor. His hands slid down your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, while your arms wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss until your tongues met.ย
The soft sound that escaped your lips made him groan low in his throat, a sound that vibrated between you. The heat of him slipped through his clothes, too much and not enough at once, leaving you aching to close the distance that still existed between you. You wanted to feel his skin against yours, to explore every inch of him the way youโd always fantasized about.
As if sensing your need, Vernon began to guide you toward the hallway that led to his room, his lips never leaving yours while his hands traveled through your body. It wasnโt hurried, but desperate in a quieter way, exactly as youโd expected kissing Vernon to be, and somehow, even better.
Halfway there, he pressed you against the wall, breaking the kiss to trail his lips down your neck. Your head fell back, giving him freer access, while your breaths came in ragged gasps and small moans slipped from your lips. Vernonโs mouth trailed lower, past the collar of your shirt, his hands gripping your waist and fingers digging into the soft flesh as he held you against the wall.ย
You could feel every inch of him pressed against you, and it made your head spin with desire, fingers clenched to his sleeve like your life depended on it.ย
โHansol,โ you whimpered, tangling your fingers in his hair. โPlease.โ
He looked up at you then, eyes dark with lust. โWhat do you need, peach?โ he murmured, voice low and rough. โHuh?โ
โI need you,โ you breathed, arching into him. โI need to feel you.โ
โIโve got you. Donโt worry.โ
His hands slid lower, gripping your hips and lifting you effortlessly. You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his hard length pressed against your core through the thin fabric of your clothes. Another moan slipped past your lips at the sensation, your hips rolling instinctively to seek more friction.ย
You had made out with other guys before, sure โ some good, some forgettable โ but none of them had ever felt like this. Nothing had ever felt like having Vernon pressed against you, making your pulse trip over itself. Everything outside this apartment could disappear and you didnโt even care. The fear, the sirens, the headlines, it all burned into nothing.ย
Your mind erased the fact that there was a killer out there. That youโd almost been one of his victims just three nights ago. All you could think about was him: the warmth of him, the feeling of him, the way everything narrowed down to just him.
Vernon carried you to his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him before lowering you onto the bed. His body followed, fitting naturally over yours as if it had always belonged there. His lips found yours again, hungry, desperate, stealing the breath from your lungs, and your hands roamed over his back, fingers digging into the firm muscles as he rocked against you. He was rock hard and the friction was a delicious torture, bulding a pressure inside you until you actually thought you might combust just from drying humping him.ย
Breaking the kiss apart, Vernon sat back on his heels, reaching for the hem of your shirt at the same time as he searched your face for any sign of hesitation. Slowly he pulled it up and over your head, tossing it aside before his eyes raked over your exposed skin. Your cheeks flushed under his intense gaze, but you didnโt look away. You couldnโt. Not when he was looking at you like he wanted to devour every inch of you.ย
โGod, Y/N,โ he breathed, his hands skimming up your sides, over the swell of your breasts. โYouโre perfect.โ
His thumbs brushed over your nipples through the thin lace of your bra, making your arch into his touch. Another whimper escaped your lips, your back bowing off the bed as he continued his teasing caresses. You ached for more, for his mouth on your skin, his hands on your body traveling to where you needed him the most.
โPlease, Hansol,โ you begged, not even caring how desperate you sounded. โTouch me.โ
He didnโt need to be told twice. Vernon unhooked your bra and tossed it aside, his lips immediately latching onto the hardened peak. His tongue swirled around the sensitive bud, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core. Your hand fisted in his hair, holding him in place while he lavished attention on your breasts.ย
Your hips rocked against his, seeking more of that delicious friction you felt before. You could feel the dampness growing between your thighs, the evidence of your desire for him, and Vernon seemed to sense it too, one hand sliding down past the waistband of your sweatpants to palm you through your panties. You immediately cried out at the contact, your hips bucking into his touch.ย
โFuck,โ he breathed, voice showing a hint of disbelief. His thumb brushed against your clit and you squirmed. โYouโre so wet for me already.โ
Slowly and tortuously, Vernon started to kiss down your stomach, with you writhing in anticipation under him. Suddenly, he paused and looked up at you with a mischievous grin that you knew so well.ย
โTell me peach,โ he whispered against your skin, nose hovering just below your bellybutton, โhave you ever touched yourself before?โ
Your cheeks flushed hot at the question, and you averted your gaze shyly. โMaybe,โ you admitted after a moment.ย
Vernon chuckled, low and sultry, the sound sending shivers down your body. โAnd what did you think about when you did?โ he pressed, fingers tracing patterns on your hip while he slowly pulled your sweatpants down.ย
You bit your lip, hesitation warring with arousal. But the desire won out. โYou,โ you confessed. โI thought about you, Hansol.โ
His gaze was locked on you, dark with an intensity that seemed to consume his entire face, like his lust and desire were swallowing the rest of him whole. โFuck, Y/N. You have no idea how long Iโve wanted to hear you say that.โ
Rising from where he was, Vernon captured your lips again, his tongue delving into your mouth possessively. You moaned into the kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair again as he explored your mouth thoroughly. When he finally pulled away, you were both panting for breath. Still, he gazed down at you with a hunger that made your core clench with need.
โIโm going to make you feel so good, peach,โ he promised, leaning down to trail another set of open mouthed kisses along your collarbone and down your breasts. โIโm going to worship every inch of you.โ
โPlease, Hansol.โ His name came out in a moan this time, showing how desperate you were for whatever he was wheeling to give you. โI need you.โ
He smiled against your skin, continuing his trail between your breasts, ignoring your pleas. You weren't surprised that Vernon was a tease; he was like that in every other aspect of his life, and now he was just making clear that he would take his sweet time with you, as if you were now his favorite pastime.
โDid you imagine my fingers doing this?โ He cupped the soft mounds in his hands, squeezing gently while his thumbs massaged your nipples. โSqueezing and playing with your perfect tits?โ
You gasped, arching into his touch. โY-yes. I imagined your hands on me all the time.โ
โMmm, and what about my lips?โ he continued, laving his tongue over one peaked nipple. โDid you think about my tongue circling these pretty buds?โ
โYes, yes I did.โ You nodded, breathlessly, tangling your fingers in his hair again. โSo many times.โ
Vernon chuckled low at your desperation, moving down your body until he was nestled between your thighs. โAnd this pussy,โ he growled, blowing a stream of cool air over your heated flesh. โDid you ever slide your fingers inside here, wishing it was my cock stretching you open?โ
You cried out at his words, rocking your hips forward instinctively. โGod yes,โ you whimpered, letting him pull your panties down your legs at a torturously slow pace. โI imagined your cock splitting me open so many times, filling me up so good.โ
At your words, he looked up at you grinning like a devil, before diving in and devouring your pussy like a man starved. You screamed in pleasure when Vernonโs tongue started to work magic on your clit, flicking, sucking and circling the sensitive nub until you were squirming beneath him.
โFuck, you taste amazing. I could eat this sweet pussy for hours.โ
You gasped, feeling his tongue delving deep inside you, lapping up your juices. Vernon feasted on your cunt like it was the first and last meal heโd ever have in his life, eating you out with a wild hunger you were sure youโve never seen before. Then he slid a finger inside your dripping pussy, pumping it in and out while he sucked hard on your clit.ย
โDid you touch yourself like this? Finger-fucking your tight little hole until you came hard?โ
โYes,โ you sobbed, rolling your hips down to meet his face, thrusting on his finger. โI came so many times thinking about you doing this to me.โ
โMhmm, need to stretch you, peach,โ he groaned against your slick folds, and you swore you could cum just from the deep, rumbling sound. โGotta loosen up this tight little cunt so it can take my cock. Think you can handle another finger, baby?โ
You moaned in response, feeling him slip a second finger alongside his tongue, pumping them slowly as he kept licking and sucking at your sensitive clit to ease it in. Your hands were now gripping his hair so tightly that you thought youโd tear some strands out when you had to remove them.
โThat's it, nice and easy.โ He worked a third finger inside you, stretching your tight walls as his tongue continued its relentless assault on your clit. โFuck, you're so goddamn tight. Can't wait to bury my cock in this sweet cunt.โ
You never wouldโve imagined Vernon to be this vocal in a moment like this. But here he was, every word spilling from his lips only driving you further out of your mind. And all you could do wasย moan and writhe beneath him in response, lost in the overwhelming pleasure he was giving to you.
โTell me,โ he continued, pulling back just enough to look up at you. โTell me what you thought about me doing while you played with this pretty pussy.โ
At this point you were too far gone to be ashamed. โI imagined your face between my thighs,โ you admitted breathlessly. โLicking and sucking on my clit until I exploded.โ
โAnd my cock? Did you imagine me fucking you hard and deep?โย
His fingers pumped faster, curling to rub against that secret special spot inside you as his lips closed around your clit and sucked hard.ย
โGod yes,โ you moaned, without knowing how the words were managing to leave your lips. โIโd imagine you pounding into me, stretching me open with your cock.โ
Vernon groaned loudly, doubling his efforts and fucking his fingers into you in earnest now. You hips bucked against him again and this time you didn't stop, moving uncontrollably against his face.
โI bet you thought about me painting your insides with my cum. Filling you up real nice.โ
โYes, yes!โ you screamed, teetering on the edge now, your inner muscles clenching around his fingers. โI wanted it so badly! I need your cum inside me!โ
โThen come for me, peach,โ he ordered, pumping his fingers faster. โCome on my fingers and Iโll give you my cock.โ
โHansol,โ you cried out, your orgasms building fast and hard. โIโm gonnaโโ
โLet go, baby. Come for me. Go on.โ
You didnโt need to be told twice. Your body convulsed around his fingers, your vision whiting out as your orgasm crashed over you in waves of pure bliss. Your pussy spasmed violently around his plunging digits, juices gushing out to coat his fingers and tongue. You screamed his name again and again, trembling and writhing beneath him, lost in ecstasy.ย
Vernon lapped at your dripping folds, determined to lick up every drop of your essence. He didnโt stop until you were completely spent and trembling beneath him, your body going limp with satisfaction. When he finally resurfaced, his chin was slick with your juices. He brought his fingers to his mouth, slowly sucking them clean while locking eyes with you. The sight made your core clench with a sense of renewed desire.ย
He crawled up your body, trailing up kisses, a grin on his face. โYou look so fucking sexy like this. All sated and glowing from my touch.โ
You blushed at the compliment, but your only response was a small whimper, still reeling from the intensity of your climax. Vernon chuckled softly, trailing his fingers up your body to cup your face and capture your lips in a searing kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.ย
His weight settled on top of you, his hardness pressing against your still sensitive center. You could feel how much Vernon wanted you too, how much he was holding back, so you bucked your hips against his for the thousandth time tonight.ย
โPlease, Hansol,โ you whispered against his lips, hands sliding down to palm him through his sweatpants. โI need you inside me.โ
He groaned at your words, hips rocking into your touch. โYou sure youโre ready for that?โ
In response, you reached down and started pushing his pants down, pushing them and his boxers down just enough to free his cock. It sprang free, long and thick and already leaking at the tip. You wrapped your hand around him, giving him a slow stroke from base to tip, making Vernon close his eyes at the feeling.ย
โIโm sure,โ you breathed, stroking him again. โI want all of you.โ
Vernon reached between your bodies, his hand enveloped yours as he grabbed his throbbing cock, rubbing the head through your slick folds. You gasped at the sensation, desperate for him to fill you up.ย
You wrapped your legs around his hips almost instinctively, rocking your hips forward and making his cock slide easily between your slippery pussy. โPlease. I need your cock inside me so bad.โ
He gasped at the delicious sensation, positioning himself at your entrance. The blunt head of his cock pressed against your hole and you could feel yourself throbbing with anticipation.
โLast chance to back out,โ he said, voice strained with restraint. His eyes searched yours, filled with heat and desire, but also a hint of caution. He wanted you to be sure.
โDonโt you dare.โ You wrapped your arms around his neck, gripping his shoulders tightly to keep him there. โI want this. I want you.โ
And with that, Vernon pushed inside you with one smooth thrust, filling you slowly. You gasped and cried out at the sudden sensation of fullness, your walls stretching deliciously around his thick length. It burned slightly at first, but it quickly morphed into a deep, aching pleasure.ย
His head dropped to your shoulder. โFuck yes. You feel incredible, peach. So hot and tight.โ
You nodded, too overwhelmed by sensation to form words, but sharing the same feeling as him. Vernon began to move then, slowly at first letting you adjust to the intrusion. Each thrust pushed him deeper, almost hitting that sweet spot inside you that made your toes curl just minutes ago.ย
โYou can go faster,โ you practically begged, nails digging into his back. โPlease.ย
He obliged, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in, snapping his hips forward with more force and setting a steady rhythm. The new angle sent shivers shooting up your spine, your pussy clenching more and more around him.
You met each thrust with eager movements of your own hips, relishing the feeling of Vernon moving inside you. His breath came in ragged pants against your neck as he drove into you like his life depended on it, chasing not only his pleasure but yours too.ย
โHarder,โ you panted, raking your nails down his back. โFuck me harder, Hansol!โ
Vernon complied eagerly, pounding into you with renewed vigor.ย
The room soon filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, your moans and gasps echoing off the walls. Vernonโs hand slid between your bodies, fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles on the overstimulated nub. The added stimulation sent you hurtling toward another peak, your body tightening like a coiled spring.ย
โCome on, baby,โ he encouraged, fingers working faster. โI want to feel you come around my cock now.โ
He powered into you, chasing your releases with single-minded focus. Your own pleasure coiled tight in your belly, building higher and higher with each powerful stroke of his.
โCome with me, Y/N. Come on my cock, baby!โ
Just like that, your second orgasm hit you like a freight train, clamping down around him like a vice, your body trembling enough to make your feet sink into his ass searching for steadiness.
โWhereโwhere do you want me?โ Vernon asked, his voice strained, and you could feel that he was almost there.ย
โInside, please,โ you replied breathlessly, aching to feel him fill you completely.ย โYou can cum inside.โ
He needed no further encouragement.
With a final, mighty thrust, Vernon buried himself to the hilt and came with a loud groan of completion, spilling deep inside you in long thick spurts. You continued to move beneath him, working him through his release until he collapsed on top of you in a boneless heap, careful not to crush you with his weight.ย
You ran your fingers through his hair, pressing soft kisses to his sweat-dampened forehead. You stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other as you tried to catch your breath, Vernon still buried deep inside you. After a moment, he lifted his head from the crook of your neck, his eyes shining the same way you imagined yours did.
โHi,โ he simply said, pressing a small kiss to the tip of your nose.
A slow smile spread across your face, and Vernon mirrored it back at you. In that moment everything else faded away; the fear, the danger lurking outside these four walls. There was just you and him.ย
โHi.โ
Vernon kissed along your jaw and neck. โThat was incredible. Youโre incredible.โ
You could only hum in agreement, still floating in the realization that the guy youโd loved for years loved you just the same. He pulled out slowly, a soft grimace crossing his face as his softening cock slipped free of your still-fluttering heat, his release spilling out of you.
โCome on,โ he murmured, gathering you close and rolling to the side. โLetโs get cleaned up and then we can sleep.โ
You nodded weakly, too sated to move just yet. Vernon pressed one more kiss to your forehead before untangling himself from you and sliding out of bed. You watched him walk to the bathroom, admiring the sight of his bare back. He returned a moment later with a damp towel, gently cleaning you up before tossing it aside and climbing back into bed.ย
You got up to pee, and when you came back, Vernon pulled you into his arms, tucking your head beneath his chin and wrapping his legs around yours. You nestled into his embrace, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
โThank you,โ you whispered, pressing a kiss to his chest.
He stroked your hair gently, pressing a kiss to the top of your head in return. โFor what?โ
โFor being here. For making me feel safe.โ
His arms tighten around you. โAlways, peach. Iโll always keep you safe,โ he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. โSleep now. We can talk more in the morning.โ
You nodded drowsily, already slipping under the covers. As you drifted off in his embrace, you couldnโt help but marvel at how perfectly you fit together. Being here with him felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be. And that knowledge brought a sense of profound peace and happiness to your heart.
Morning came softly, a pale, silver light slipping through the curtains of Vernonโs bedroom, like the world hadnโt almost ended in a downpour over the past three days. The storm had passed, leaving everything outside washed clean. The city felt quieter than it had in days, as if the air itself was holding its breath with fear.ย
You woke first. Vernon was still asleep beside you, his arm loosely around your waist, the rise and fall of his chest slow, steady, peaceful. For the first time in weeks, you felt calm. The fear that had been gnawing at you was gone. There was no other place in the world where you felt as safe as you did with him.
You lay there for a moment, watching the soft light paint across his face, and smiled. He looked different like this, softer, younger. Beautiful.ย
After a few minutes, you carefully slid out from under his arm, trying not to wake him. You wanted to make breakfast, something normal, something that didnโt smell like panic or sleepless nights. Maybe eggs, a french toast, maybe some orange juice.ย
The apartment was cold under your bare feet as you padded toward the kitchen. You hummed under your breath, something small and tuneless. You opened the living room curtains, letting the sunlight you hadnโt seen in days stream into the apartment.โ
โMorning,โ you whispered to yourself, watching the streets below, already filled with cars and people going about their day.
You didnโt hear the creak of the other door until you turned to walk toward the kitchen again.ย
Vernonโs office door,ย the one he always kept closed. Youโd never been inside. Heโd laughed once and said it was too messy, too embarrassing, and you knew that was probably true, considering he was extremely messy and was only keeping everything in place lately because you were here to organize.
But the door was open now. Halfway open, in fact.ย
Youโd always been curious about what might be there, so instead of walking to the kitchen, you walked to the door. Maybe now you could help him organize whatever mess it was.ย
You didnโt know why, but suddenly and somehow the air in the hallway felt heavier with each step you took. The closer you got, the stronger the faint metallic scent became, something sharp, sour, familiar in a way you didnโt want to name.
When you pushed the door open fully, your whole world tilted.
Polaroids.
Dozens of them.
Taped to the walls, hanging in uneven lines, faces of people youโd seen on the news. The victims. Some of them smiling, some of them terrified. And at the center of it all, a table. On it, a red mask. The same one the killer wore when he followed you three nights ago.ย
You stumbled back, your hand flying to your mouth.
No. No, no, no.
Your heartbeat thundered in your ears. You turned, eyes darting to the hallway, but he was already standing there. Vernon leaned against the doorframe, barefoot, hair mussed, wearing the same shirt and boxers from last night. There was no panic on his face. No fear. Just a quiet, tired calm.
โHow many times have I told you not to go into this room, peach?โ
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Every ask & comment gives me life ๐ If youโre enjoying it, donโt forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
authors note: english is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake in advance.
โ๏ฝกยฐโฉ
summary: It was stupid, reallyโฆ how one week every month your brain decided to turn Han Jisung into something else entirely. Normally he was just Ji, your best friend, the boy who let himself into your apartment without knocking and ate half your snacks. But that week? God, you couldn't even look without feeling the need to devour him.
There were days when his laugh seemed deeper, when the stretch of his black t-shirt across his chest made your stomach twist, when the fabric clung to his biceps so tight it was impossible not to look, When you caught yourself staring at his hands wrapped around a controller and thinking of things best friends should never think about.
You had trained yourself to handle it. Stay quiet. Avoid too much eye contact. Blame hormones and wait it out. Friendship was more important. Always.
Except tonight.ย
Tonight he was sprawled across your couch, damp hair curling against his forehead after a shower, shirt long forgotten somewhere. His skin was warm, golden under the TV light, and the smell of his shampoo lingered in the air. You curled your legs under yourself, forcing your eyes back to the screen, trying not to breathe too deeply.
โHey,โ he said suddenly, eyes still on the screen. โWhy do you sometimes look at me like that?โ
Your pulse stuttered. โLike what?โ
โLikeโฆโ he tilted his head, pretending to think, though you caught the edge of a smile. โLike you want something.โ
Your laugh was sharp, fake. โI donโt.โ
โYou donโt?โ His eyes flicked to yours then, curious. Too curious.
โNo,โ you said quickly, but it came out breathy, your voice catching on the end.
The corner of his mouth lifted, slow, knowing. He shifted closer, resting his arm along the back of the couch, body heat brushing against you. โYou sure about that?โ
โYeah, Jisung, Iโm sure.โ
โOkay then.โ
He came even closer, dropping his head onto your lap, a habit of his, one you were more than used to. But this time, as soon as his weight settled against you, your whole body lit up. Your breath hitched, heavy and uneven, and you forced yourself to play it cool, to keep your hands still, to pretend this was as casual as it always had been.
Except it wasnโt. Not when his hair brushed against your skin. Not when the heat of his body radiated through you, or when the faint smell of his shampoo curled up into your lungs and stayed there. You could see every line of his face, every shift of muscle, every little thing you werenโt supposed to notice. And your mind was long, long gone.
He didnโt say a word for the rest of the night, which was weird, Jisung was a yappy guy. Always running his mouth, filling silences with dumb jokes, humming under his breath, narrating his own thoughts like you hadnโt known him for years. But now? Nothing. Just him sitting there, quiet, and you facing the screen, pretending to care about that goddamn movie while your pulse pounded everywhere but your chest.
You tried to stay still, tried to focus, tried to shove your mind anywhere but the direction it was going. But the warmth of his body next to yours was distracting, the silence deafening, and soon your eyelids got heavy.
You mustโve dozed off.
Because suddenly you were dreaming, really dreaming, of him. Touches that had never happened, his voice in your ear saying things he had never said, heat curling low in your stomach until it felt so real you startled awake with your heart racing.
The movie was still on. The room was dim, the glow from the TV flickering across the walls. A blanket you didnโt remember pulling up was covering you, soft and warm. And right beside you, there he was, head tilted slightly down as he scrolled on his phone like nothing in the world had shifted.
โBet that nap feltโฆ good,โ he said casually, without even looking at you.
โUhum,โ your throat felt dry. โI was sleepy.โ
โSleepy, huh?โ His tone had that dangerous lilt, like he knew something you didnโt.
โYeahโฆ sleepy.โ
Finally, he looked up from his phone, dark eyes locking onto yours, too steady. โWhy exactly were you calling my name for?โ
โWhat?โ
โYeah yeah, I heard thatโ
โIt was justโฆ a dreamโ
โYeah.. but that kind of dream for sureโ
โJesus Christ. You wonโt let go, will you?โ you muttered, sitting up a little. โIโm just a bitโฆ you know, horny. Itโs just that time of the month. You ended up being my mindโs victim, thatโs all. End of story.โ
Jisungโs brows shot up, and then he laughed, low, amused, almost smug. โOhhh, end of story? Sure. So what, you want me to call up that guy you went out with last week for you?โ
Your stomach twisted, heat creeping up your neck. โShut up.โ
โWhat?โ He grinned, leaning back against the couch. โHeโs probably free. Though, to be fair, he didnโt even know how to kiss, right? You said that. Honestly, tragic.โ
You glared, but he only chuckled, basking in your reaction, because thatโs what best friends did, poked at bruises until the other one snapped.
Except this timeโฆ this time you could feel his heat radiating toward you. And when you risked a glance at him, the way he was looking at you made your chest tighten. Not playful, not entirely. Deeper. Like maybe he had already been thinking about the same things you had dreamed of.
Your pulse jumped, your mouth dry.
โSoโฆโ his voice was softer now, slower, eyes never leaving yours. โHow was that dream?โ
It wasnโt weird that he asked, not for you two. You had always been too comfortable, telling each other things you probably shouldnโt. But this time, the words weighed heavier. This time, the air was different.
โCome onnn!โ he whined, that voice only Jisung could pull off, halfway between a joke and a plea. โI want to know.โ
You shifted under the blanket, gripping the edge a little tighter. โNothing much. I honestly canโt even remember it.โ A lie, and a bad one, you could still feel it. โBut it was more aboutโฆ chasing a release somehow than what was in fact being done.โ
His eyebrows lifted, interest flickering in his eyes, but he stayed quiet, letting your own words hang heavy between you.
That blanket was saving you. Because the way your thighs were pressing together, clenching harder with every second, youโd be ruined without it. The ache was pulsing now, deep and insistent, impossible to ignore. And talking about it with him, with Jisung, of all people, was making it so much worse.
His gaze flicked down to where the blanket bunched around your lap, then back up to your face, slowly. And when the corner of his mouth tugged into that knowing smirk, your stomach flipped.
He was breathing heavy now. You tried to look away, but you couldnโt.
โI can leaveโฆโ he murmured, voice low, careful. โSo, you know, you can chase your release.โ
Your lips parted, your eyes still locked on him. โโฆOkayโฆโ
But he didnโt move.
โOrโโ he cleared his throat, the sound tight, almost nervous. โOr I can stay and, hmโฆ we can chase it together.โ
You closed your eyes, releasing a breath. โJi, we canโt.โ
โI know,โ he said quickly, leaning in, words tumbling out. โI know. But justโฆ just for fun. We wonโt have sex. We can just do it together, you know?โ
Before you could protest again, he shifted, dragging himself under the blanket with you. The space between you disappeared.
His thighs brushed against yours beneath the blanket, warm and solid. And then you caught the subtle movement of his arm, his hand slipping lower, slowly.
โIs this okay?โ he asked softly, watching your face.
You nodded, throat too tight for words.
For a moment, the only sound was your breathing. You hesitated, your fingers twitching against the blanket, your whole body wound tight, nerves sparking under your skin. But the weight of his stare, the sound of his breath, the fact that he would do the same thing inches away from youโฆ it pulled you under.
Your hand slid down, tentative at first, brushing over the thin fabric between your legs. A shiver shot through you at the contact. You pressed a little harder, exhaling shakily, until finally, slowly, you slipped under the waistband.
The first touch made your whole body jolt. You were wet already, embarrassingly so, your fingers sliding easily against yourself.
And then, a sound.
Soft, strangled, not yours.
Jisung.
He heard it. That slick, obscene sound in the quiet of the room. His lips parted as he dragged in a sharp breath, and before he could stop himself, a shy, broken moan escaped him.
Your eyes flew to his face, heat flooding every inch of you. His cheeks were flushed, his lashes low, but he didnโt look away.
And under the blanket, you both kept moving, his hand stroking himself, yours circling, pressing, dipping lower. The air thickened, your heavy breaths filling the silence and wet rhythm of your fingers and the faint slick sound of his hand working himself. The intimacy of it was unbearable: best friends, side by side, baring every secret breath and sound to each other.
You bit your lip, hips twitching upward into your hand, fingers dragging over your clit in lazy circles before sliding down again, gathering more of your arousal. The blanket was a shield, but the way his thigh pressed into yours made every movement vibrate between you, every shift impossible to hide.
โFuckโฆโ he whispered suddenly, voice cracked open, his forehead tipping forward until it brushed your shoulder. His breaths came hot against your skin. โYou soundโฆ so wet.โ
The way he groaned right after, like the words had undone him too, pushed you further. You pressed harder, moving faster, chasing the edge you had been aching for.
His pace matched yours, each soft grunt and shaky exhale pulling you closer. You could feel him unraveling next to you, his hand moving quicker, thighs tensing against yours. And you couldnโt stop looking at him, his flushed face, the way his mouth kept falling open, the desperate little sounds slipping out despite his effort to hold them back.
Your hips lifted off the couch slightly, back arching, fingers circling furiously now. The pressure was unbearable, every nerve lit up.
โOh, s-shit,โ he whispered, broken, eyes squeezing shut. โSay my nameโ
โJiโโ it tore out of you, breathless, almost a cry. โJisungโ
And that was it. Your body clenched, trembling as release crashed through you, heat flooding your core, thighs quivering under the blanket. The wet sounds grew louder as you worked yourself through it, chasing every drop of pleasure until you couldnโt anymore.
Next to you, his hand stilled with a sharp, muffled groan, his body jerking as he spilled into his fist. He buried his face against your shoulder, teeth clenched as he came undone, his shaky breaths loud in your ear.
For a long moment, the only thing in the room was the sound of you both breathing, ragged, uneven, trying to come down.
Finally, Jisung pulled in a long, shaky inhale, still hiding his face against you. Then, with the tiniest laugh, he muttered, โWellโฆ that wasโฆ different.โ
Your cheeks burned, but your lips curled despite yourself. โYou donโt say.โ
โ
You never talked about it. Not that night. Not the morning after. You just let yourselves drift into sleep on the couch, tangled under that same blanket, like nothing had even happened.
But something had. And whatever it was, it lingered.
After that, things feltโฆ different.
Closer.
You caught yourself noticing it in small ways first, his hand on the back of your chair during late-night gaming, fingers brushing your shoulder like it belonged there. The way he leaned into you when he laughed, chest pressed against your back as though your bodies had decided space was optional.
It wasnโt just you, either. Jisung had gotten bolder, without even realizing it. His hugs lasted longer, holding on until you had to push at his chest and tease him for being clingy. His cheek kisses stopped being quick taps; now they lingered, his lips warm against your skin, leaving you flustered every time.
And maybe the strangest part was how normal it all felt. Like you had both silently agreed to erase that night and pretend nothing had changed, except everything had.
Because it never happened again. Not once.
But the weight of it was everywhere, tucked into every glance that lasted a little too long, every brush of skin that felt too deliberate, every easy excuse you both found to be pressed up against each otherโฆ
And today?ย
It was one of those nights when he was coming to your apartment, one of those sticky summer nights where the air felt too heavy to breathe. You were in a tank top, no bra underneath, and shorts that clung tight to your thighs. It was hot. That was the only kind of clothes possible to wear.
Jisung arrived already tugging his shirt over his head, tossing it aside the second he stepped in. But then he looked at you. Really looked. His eyes dragged up, down, lingering in a way that made your stomach flip.
โExcuse me, Ji? Have you lost something?โ you asked, trying to mask the heat in your voice.
โWell, I think I did,โ he shot back smoothly, lips twitching.
โNo, you didnโt. Now stop looking at my butt and give me the beer you bought me.โ
He grinned, handing it over, and you clinked cans like always. It was fun, loud laughter, music playing low in the background, the two of you sprawled on the floor and couch in turns, talking about everything and nothing. It was the kind of night you've had a hundred times before.
Maybe it was the heat of summer, maybe it was that night you had never spoken about, maybe it was both. But your skin felt too sensitive, burning with every brush against his. And his heat, God, you could feel it. Every time he leaned close to whisper some dumb joke in your ear, every time his arm pressed against yours as he reached for the chips, every time his thigh bumped yours when he laughed too hard, your body caught fire.
And you didnโt move away.
Neither did he.
You were closer and closer, shoulders touching, legs pressed together like the couch wasnโt wide enough, like the floor wasnโt big enough. It didnโt feel like best friends hanging out anymore. It felt like something was about to happen.
And you werenโt sure you wanted to stop it.
โJi.โ
โHum?โ he hummed, voice casual, but his eyes were already on you.
โDo you rememberโฆ that night?โ
You didnโt even have to clarify. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. โYeah?โ
โDo you everโฆ think about it?โ
His lips pressed together, then parted just enough for a whisper. โWell, yeahโฆโ
โMe too.โ
Silence stretched, charged and heavy, until he finally breathed, โโฆWe canโt.โ
โI know.โ
โButโฆโ
You both said it at the same time and immediately broke into nervous laughter, the sound shaking some of that unbearable tension.
โYou go first,โ you told him.
He licked his lips, hesitant but honest. โWe can do it again if you want. Justโฆ no sex.โ
Your chest tightened. โI think I want that.โ
This time, there was no blanket to hide under. You were both on the floor, the low lamp casting shadows that made everything feel sharper, rawer.
He shifted where he sat, legs spread wide on the carpet, watching you with that mix of mischief and restraint that only made your pulse race faster.
โSo what,โ you asked, tilting your head, trying to sound playful even though your voice was shaking, โwe justโฆ sit here and stare at each other?โ
He smirked, leaning back on his hands. โDepends. You planning on doing something worth staring at?โ
Your stomach flipped. โDonโt act like youโre not already.โ
He choked out a laugh, running a hand over his mouth, but his eyes, dark, locked on you, betrayed him. โI canโt stop imaginingโฆโ He trailed off, shook his head, then let out a nervous, broken laugh. โNever mind.โ
The silence that followed wasnโt empty. It was charged, electric, daring. His gaze flicked down, your tank top, your thighs, the waistband of your shorts, and you swore you felt it like a touch.
You swallowed hard.
Then his hand moved, slowly, and he patted himself over his shorts, a faint hiss slipping past his lips at the contact. He wasnโt even trying to hide it, his eyes stayed on yours the whole time.
The outline of him was obvious, straining against the thin fabric, and the way his fingers curled around himself had your breath catching in your throat. Heat surged through you, pooling low in your stomach, until you couldnโt stand anymore.
Your own hand drifted down, mirroring his, pressing against the damp heat between your thighs. His lips parted when he saw, chest heaving.
โOh, shitโฆโ he whispered, stroking himself now, slow and shaky.
You nodded, your fingers slipping under the waistband of your shorts, your touch clumsy at first but growing bolder when his jaw clenched, when his breath hitched harder.
You swore the room grew smaller, hotter, every second. The quiet was deafening, filled only with the slick sounds of him stroking himself and your uneven breaths. The carpet prickled under your bare thighs, grounding you in a way you didnโt want, because everything else in your body was floating, pulling toward him.
His eyes stayed locked on yours, wide and almost disbelieving, like he couldnโt believe you were both really doing this again. Every time your lashes fluttered shut, his voice was there, rough, low, โDonโt stopโฆ donโt look away.โ
Your fingers slipped deeper, the little gasp that tore from your throat wasnโt meant to be heard, but he did. His rhythm stuttered, a strangled groan breaking from him, his head tipping back for just a second before snapping forward again, watching you like a man starved.
He could see the little hitch in your breath as your fingers moved lower. And you could see his hand, working himself under his shorts, the outline of his cock straining against the thin fabric.
It shouldโve been enough. The deal was clear: no sex. To pretend it was just this. But it wasnโt. enough. Not tonight.
โJiโฆโ Your voice cracked on his name. โIโ I need more.โ
Before you could think twice, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you reached forward. In one swift motion, you pulled his hand away from his shorts and dragged yourself into his lap.
He froze, breath caught, hands hovering like he didnโt know where to put them. And then, like he couldnโt help himself, his arms locked tight around your waist.
Your chest pressed into his as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, arms looped around his shoulders like you were clinging for dear life. His scent was everywhere, soap and heat and him, and the way his breath hitched only made the fire in your stomach worse.
But you were already moving. Your hips rolled forward, slow and desperate, dragging yourself against the hard line of him under his shorts. The friction was dizzying, sharp, too little and too much all at once.
He gasped, almost a choke, his fingers digging into your waist before he caught himself. His grip loosened instantly, like he was afraid of breaking the one fragile rule between you.
โIs thisโโ you whispered, shaky, pressing your mouth against his shoulder. โIs this okay? Justโฆ this.โ
His jaw clenched so hard you could feel it against your temple. โFuckโฆโ His voice was ragged, almost broken, and yet his hands hovered uselessly in the air, fists tightening, opening, tightening again as you ground down harder. โYeahโ
You could feel him pulsing against you through the thin layers of fabric, every shift of your hips drawing out a low, shaky sound from his chest. You were panting now, thighs trembling, and he was matching your rhythm without even meaning to, the two of you caught in a loop that neither wanted to stop.
Your whole body was burning. Your breath came shallow, shaky, as you rocked harder into him, the thin cotton of your shorts dragging against his, dragging against him. The sound of it, low fabric friction, the little whimpers you couldnโt hold back, the strangled groans he tried to bite down, filled the room more than the summer heat.
โHoly shit,โ Jisung rasped, head falling back against the couch. His lips were parted, sweat glistening at his hairline. โYouโreโโ he swallowed, voice breaking, โโyouโre killing me.โ
You whimpered in reply, hips rolling with more urgency, and his hands flexed uselessly at your sides. He wasnโt sure if he could touch you, and his restraint only made him twitch harder beneath you, straining against his shorts.
Then, his voice dropped lower. โCan Iโโ he sucked in a breath, shaky, โcan I take them off? Just your shorts. Please.โ
โThe underwear stays,โ he rushed to add, voice wrecked but sure. โI swear. Justโฆ I need to feel you closer. Just this much.โ
You closed your eyes, biting your lip, the ache between your thighs making the decision for you. With trembling hands, you pushed the waistband down, lifting your hips just enough to slide them off. His eyes never left you, his chest heaving, jaw clenched like he was in pain.
โMine too,โ he muttered suddenly, voice low and ragged, already tugging his shorts down his thighs. His boxers clung to him, soaked through at the tip, a dark wet patch spreading where his precum had leaked. He was rock hard, straining against the thin fabric, every outline visible, and you couldnโt stop staring.
And then you sat back down on him, only the thin, damp fabric of your underwear keeping you apart. The difference made you gasp, loud and broken, your nails digging into his shoulders. He let out a guttural moan, so desperate it shook through both of you.
โOh, fuck, babyโฆโ he groaned, hips jerking up involuntarily to meet yours. โThatโs it. Just like that. F-fuckโ keep going.โ
Baby. He had called you that before, always in a mocking tone, the way best friends threw names around to tease. But this time? This time it felt different, low and raw and wrecked, and your whole body lit up even more, heat flashing through you at the sound of it.
You rolled again, slower this time, savoring the sharp, wet drag, the way the head of him pressed right against your swollen clit through your panties. The slick sound between you was undeniable now.
โShitโโ his voice cracked as his head fell forward, lips brushing against your ear without meaning to. โYouโre soaking me through. Youโโ he gasped when you ground down harder, โyou like this that much?โ
You whimpered, clenching around nothing, grinding like your body was chasing something more. โYesโฆ Ji, Iโfuck, I needโโ
His answer was another choked moan, hips meeting yours in a rougher rhythm now, his self-control fraying with every drag of your bodies.
Your hips rolled harder, chasing friction, and the pace between you turned messy, uncontrolled. His hands slipped beneath your tank top, fingers splaying against the hot skin of your back, holding you tighter like he couldnโt stand even an inch of distance.
You didnโt care. You wanted him closer, way closer.
Lifting your head from where it had been tucked into the curve of his neck, you leaned up until your lips brushed against his ear. The words didnโt come, just a moan, shameless and breathy, spilling straight into him.
The sound wrecked him.
โShit,โ he whined, high and desperate, clutching at you with trembling hands, dragging your body harder against his. His hips stuttered up, meeting you rougher, guiding your waist in erratic pushes. โDonโtโ donโt do that to meโโ
Your nails dug into his shoulders, your forehead pressing to the side of his head, both of you gasping through the hot, wet drag of fabric on fabric.
โFuck, Jisungโโ you moaned again, louder. His voice cracked on another whimper, breath catching as he forced your hips down against the rigid, soaked outline of him.
โYouโreโah, fuckโyouโre driving me crazy,โ he choked, his tone shaky and pitched high, every ounce of restraint gone. โDo it again. Pleaseโmoan for me again.โ
Every nerve in your body was lit, every drag of his cock under his underwear sending shocks through you. The wet heat between your thighs made your panties cling, sticky, unbearable, and still you ground harder, chasing that edge.
โJiโfuckโโ you whimpered, breath breaking against his ear.
That was all it took. His hands clutched you tighter, forcing your hips down in a frantic rhythm, his thighs trembling under you. โYeah? Youโre close, arenโt you?โ His voice cracked with it, whiny and rushed. โI can feel youโgod, I can feel how bad you need itโโ
You were already gone.
Your body tensed, a desperate cry slipping from your throat as your orgasm tore through you, thighs clenching tight around his hips, grinding helplessly against him while you came. You buried your face in his neck, muffling the broken sounds spilling from your mouth, your whole body shuddering in his arms.
Jisung was wrecked by it, by the feel of you convulsing against him, by the hot wetness soaking through your panties and spreading over his cock. His hips snapped up wildly, chasing, needing. โFuck, fuckโdonโt stop, please donโt stopโโ
He was loud now, gasping and whining, rocking against you harder until he broke apart too. His cock throbbed in his underwear, spilling hot and sticky between you both, soaking the already-dark patch at the front of his briefs. He clung to you through it, voice pitched high as he moaned your name into your shoulder.
The room fell quiet except for the sound of your heavy breaths, your bodies still rocking lazily, more aftershocks than rhythm now.
Just sweat, tangled limbs, and the sharp, sweet sting of knowing you had just crossed a line you couldnโt uncross.
โOh, fuck, Jisung. Just for fun, huh?โ You were still catching your breath when Jisung finally slumped back against the couch, chest heaving, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. You stayed straddling his lap, too dazed to move, but the ridiculous grin tugging at his lips made you groan.
โDonโt,โ you warned, pointing a shaky finger at him.
He tilted his head, wide-eyed, all fake innocence. โDonโt what? Congratulate you? Becauseโwowโyou sound like a goddamn dream when you cum.โ
โHan Jisung!โ you smacked his shoulder, heat rising to your cheeks.
โWhat? You want me to lie? Pretend you didnโt almost break my neck grinding down on me like that?โ
You covered your face with both hands, whining into your palms. โThis is literally the worst idea ever.โ
โAnd yetโฆโ His hands slid up your sides, playful, not really touching but close enough to remind you of what just happened. โโฆbest orgasm Iโve had in months.โ
You peeked through your fingers. โThatโs depressing.โ
โThatโs honesty,โ he shot back, grinning wider. Then he leaned in, voice dropping into a teasing whisper. โAlsoโฆ you owe me new shorts. Pretty sure you ruined these.โ
You shoved at his chest, but he just laughed harder, holding you in place so you couldnโt escape.
โYouโre impossible,โ you muttered, trying not to smile.
โImpossible and hot,โ he corrected, smug. โDonโt forget that part.โ
And despite yourself, you laughed too, tangled up in him, sticky and messy and more comfortable than you should be.
Eventually, you peeled yourself off his lap, legs shaky as you stood. โOkay, Iโm disgusting,โ you said, tugging at your tank top. โIโm gonna shower before I actually stick to these.โ
Jisung leaned back, arms draped over the couch, eyes still glued to you in that lazy post-release haze. You rolled your eyes at him and, just to mess around, tossed over your shoulder, โYou could always hop in with me.โ
That snapped him upright, his laugh coming out sharp and disbelieving. โHaโdonโt joke like that.โ
โYouโd faint before the water even got warm.โ
โYeah, sure,โ he called back, muttering under his breath as he grabbed a cushion to shove over his lap.
โ
Steam clung to your skin as you stepped out of the bathroom, hair damp, droplets trailing down your legs. You hadnโt bothered with much, just one of your shirts, the hem barely covering your hips, as you padded barefoot toward your bedroom to grab clean panties.
Jisung was spread across the couch, one arm over the backrest, phone in his hand. His eyes flicked up casually, and then widened, head snapping forward like he had been slapped.
โFucking hell,โ he blurted, sitting up straighter. โWhat are you doing? You canโt do that!โ
You blinked at him, pausing mid-step. โDo what?โ
โDo what?โ His voice cracked. โYouโre naked!โ
You glanced down at yourself, then back at him with a scoff. โWell, sorry! Iโm on my way to get a new panties. Youโre the one that shouldnโt be looking that much.โ
But he was. His gaze kept darting down, catching the glimpse of your ass every time the shirt shifted, the bare curve of you almost giving him more than he could handle. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, as if that would erase the image already seared into his brain.
And thatโs when you noticed. He was still in just his boxers, andโฆ hard.
Your lips curled, mischief sparking. โJiโฆโ cocking your head as your eyes dropped to his lap. โSeriously? Again?โ
His ears turned red instantly. โShut up,โ he muttered, grabbing a cushion like it could save him, but you were already laughing.
โOh my god, youโre so obvious.โ
โYou literally walked out here with your ass hanging out!โ he shot back, voice high with desperation. โWhat the hell did you expect?โ
โRelax,โ you teased, flashing him a grin as you started toward your room.ย
โStopโdonโtโโ he tried, but you were already slipping into your bedroom, the door swinging halfway shut behind you.
And something inside him snapped.
โFuck this,โ he muttered under his breath, throwing the cushion aside as he pushed off the couch. His legs moved before he could think better of it, padding fast down the hall. The door creaked open under his hand, and there you were, standing by your dresser, shirt riding high as you dug for clean panties.
โWhat the hell?โ you spun, startled, clutching the shirtโs hem down instinctively.
He shut the door behind him, chest heaving. His eyes were dark, hungry, no trace of the lazy teasing from before. โYou canโt justโwalk around like thatโand then leave meโโ His voice cracked again, desperate now.
You swallowed, heat prickling under your skin at the sight of him like this. Boxers low on his hips, still straining, his hands flexing like he didnโt know what to do with them.
โJisungโฆโ your voice came out softer, nervous.
โIโm serious,โ he rasped, stepping closer. โI canโtโshit, I canโt take it.โ
You leaned back against your dresser, pulse hammering, suddenly aware of just how cornered you were by his body heat and his voice. โJiโฆโ
He dragged a hand through his hair, frustrated, restless, his chest rising and falling too fast. โLook at me,โ he said, voice breaking. โIโm pathetic. I didnโt even get to changeโโ he motioned down at his boxers, at the obvious mess spread across the front. His face twisted, half shame, half hunger. โIโm standing here still fucking wrecked from earlier, andโand Iโm still so hard it hurts.โ
The confession hit you like a spark to gasoline. Your eyes flicked down before you could stop yourself, taking in the dark patch of dried cum against the fabric, the swollen length beneath it, twitching with every shallow breath he took.
โYou donโt get it,โ he rushed on, words tumbling out in a desperate stammer. โYou come out there in just a shirt, and Iโfuck, I canโt stop looking, I canโt stop thinking about it, and itโs killing me. I needโโ he choked, whined, the sound raw in his throat, โI need something. Please. Justโฆ anything.โ
His voice cracked again on that last word, so small, so undone. He wasnโt the playful best friend anymore, he was begging, almost breaking, standing there in his cum-soaked boxers, staring at you.
You shouldโve felt guilty, maybe. He looked wrecked, like he was seconds away from falling to his knees for you. But instead, something hot curled in your stomach, sharper than lust. You loved this, loved seeing Jisung, your Jisung, usually all jokes and easy charm, standing there trembling, begging, wrecked just because of you.
โAnything?โ you tilted your head, letting your lips curve slow, wicked.
His breath hitched. โY-yeah. Please. Justโฆ donโt leave me like this.โ
You took a step closer,m, watching the way his eyes blew wide, tracking every move like a starved thing. Then, softly, you tsked. โPoor Ji. All messy, and still begging for more.โ Your gaze flicked down, lingered on the obvious bulge, the sticky patch darkening the front of his boxers. โYouโd do anything if I asked, wouldnโt you?โ
He whimpered, the sound punched out of him, and nodded too fast. โYes. Fuck, yesโI would, I swear, justโฆ please.โ
โCareful, Ji,โ you murmured, voice low, teasing. โKeep begging like that and I might start to think you actually belong to me.โ
He swallowed hard, eyes locked on yours, and whispered hoarsely, โMaybe I already do.โ
โNo, you donโt. Youโre my bestie, remember?โ you said it soft, eyes cutting into him with a sharpness that had nothing to do with innocence.
โRight. Yeah, I know. Fuck, I know,โ Jisung muttered, running a hand through his hair, looking absolutely destroyed. His voice cracked on the last word.
โBut?โ you pressed, not letting him off the hook.
He froze, caught in the way you were staring, like you already knew exactly what he was about to say, and you were daring him to say it anyway. His eyes pitiful, wide, the most vulnerable you had ever seen him.
And then, as if to pour gasoline on the fire, you didnโt even bother hiding what you were about to do. You reached for the new panties.ย
He didnโt blink. Couldnโt. His jaw slackened as the fabric slid up your thighs, catching high on your hips. Every second of it, he was looking, openly, hungrily, the thick line of him pushing against his boxers, obscene and desperate.
โFucking hell,โ he hissed, voice tight. โAre you doing this on purpose? All this bestie talk and thenโdoing this slowly, right in front of me?โ His fists clenched, knuckles white where they gripped at his thighs. โYou know what youโre doing to me.โ
You tugged the panties up the rest of the way, smoothing the waistband against your hip like you werenโt putting on a show, but you knew damn well you were. His eyes tracked every movement, breath coming harder with each second you ignored how ruined he looked.
โGod, youโre killing me,โ he muttered, voice wrecked, like he hated himself for saying it but couldnโt stop.
You tilted your head, pretending innocence. โKilling you? Iโm just getting dressed, Ji.โ
โDonโtโโ his voice broke, and he bit his lip, shaking his head. โDonโt say it like that.โ
โLike what?โ you asked, dragging it out, stepping just close enough for him to feel the weight of your presence without touching. His chest heaved, eyes darting down your body and back up to your face, as if he couldnโt decide where to look. You smiled then, sweet and devastating, โWhatโs wrong, Jisungie?โ
He actually whimpered. Shoulders slumping, thighs pressing together, his hands fisting uselessly on his lap. โF-fuckโdonโt call me that right now. Please.โ
But the way he leaned toward you, the way his whole body responded to the name, you knew he loved it. He was completely undone, standing there in nothing but his boxers, cock straining and leaking again, looking at you like you held every shred of control over him.
โAw,โ you teased, โYouโre adorable.โ
His head fell back against the doorframe with a groan, raw and desperate. โYouโre enjoying this, arenโt you?โ he asked, voice strained, pupils blown wide.
โOf course I am,โ you shot back, lips curling, the confidence rolling off you in waves.
He was still looking at you, devouring you, like he was almost ready to drop to his knees if thatโs what it took. And you? You leaned in, catching him off guard.
โCome here,โ you whispered, tugging him forward by the shoulders until he stumbled into you.
It was just a hug, shouldโve been, at least. You had hugged a thousand times before. But this wasnโt the same. Not when your arms slid over his shoulders, your chest pressed against his, and his arms wrapped around your waist with a grip so desperate it nearly stole your breath.
โYou're making this way too hardโ you murmured, but the sound melted into your throat when he squeezed tighter, harder.
You felt him, hot and heavy against your lower stomach, straining through his boxers, pressed flush into your skin. His breath hitched at the contact, and your nails dug into his shoulder blades without thinking.
โFuck,โ he groaned into your neck, muffled, ruined. โYou have no idea.โ
But the way your lips ghosted over his ear, the way your body curved into his on instinct? You knew exactly what you were doing.
Your lips brushed his neck first, just the faintest press of warmth against his skin, enough to make him shiver. He gasped, clutching your waist tighter as if the sound alone might tether him.
โDonโtโโ his voice cracked, pitiful. โDonโt do that unless you mean it.โ
But you only smiled against his skin, trailing higher, letting your breath fan over his jaw. Then you pulled back, slowly, your hand sliding up to grab his face, tilting it toward you.
And there he was. So close. So goddamn close. His breath mixed with yours, shaky and uneven, his lips parting like he was seconds away from forgetting every rule you had ever made together.
You hovered there, teasing, brushing your lips just close enough to make him choke on a sound. His eyes fluttered shut for a heartbeat, then snapped open again, desperate.
โPlease,โ he whispered, so broken it almost undid you on the spot.
Your grin widened, wicked. โWellโฆ kissing definitely isnโt having sex.โ
That was all it took.
He closed the distance, and the second your lips touched, he melted. A wreck. He kissed you like he had been starved for years, messy and frantic, lips crashing against yours in a rhythm that was nothing but need. His hands slid up your back, fingers digging in like he couldnโt get you close enough.
He whimpered when you opened your mouth for him, the sound vibrating straight into your chest. His tongue pushed against yours clumsily, greedy, like he didnโt even care how sloppy it was, he just needed more.
โFuckโโ he broke the kiss just long enough to gasp against your mouth, his lips wet, swollen. โYouโre gonna kill me, baby.โ
You caught his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging just enough to make him moan, high, needy, almost too loud. You swallowed the sound in another kiss, deeper this time, slower, rolling your tongue against his until his thighs shifted under you, restless, seeking friction.
Your own stomach twisted, the heat pooling between your legs sharp and insistent. Each time his breathy whine slipped past your lips, you clenched around nothing, your body aching in sync with his.
His hands slid up to cradle your face, thumbs trembling against your cheeks as if he couldnโt believe this was happening. โDonโt stop,โ he begged into your mouth, the words slurred with desperation. โPlease, donโt stop.โ
And you didnโt.
You devoured him.
You couldnโt stop kissing him, couldnโt stop swallowing every broken moan he poured into your mouth. His lips were swollen, wet, slick with spit, but he didnโt care, and neither did you. Every kiss was messy, frantic, tongues sliding, teeth clashing, breathless whines filling the space between you.
You collapsed onto the bed together, tangled and gasping, his hands everywhere and nowhere at once.
But then he pulled back, panting, pupils blown. โPlease,โ he rasped, tugging you toward the edge of the mattress. โSitโsit right here. Please, I needโfuck, I need it.โ
You blinked, dazed, but obeyed, sliding to sit on the edge of the bed. Your elbows propped behind you, chest heaving, hair a wild mess. The way he was looking at you made your stomach twist.
He stood between your knees, hands trembling as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of his boxers. You caught a glimpse, red, flushed, leaking, and then he freed himself, fisting the base with a shaky groan.
โJiโโ you started, shocked, but he cut you off, eyes locking with yours as he pumped once, twice, moaning.
โDonโt worry,โ he said, voice broken, desperate. โWe wonโt. I justโfuck, I need this. I need you watching me.โ
Your thighs clenched, heat sparking low in your belly as his fist worked over his cock, slick sounds filling the quiet between his needy whines. His eyes never left yours, pleading, glassy, undone.
You swallowed hard, hand trembling as you slid it down between your legs, slipping under your panties. The second your fingers found your clit, you gasped, eyes flying back to his.
He saw. His breath caught, hips jerking into his fist, a guttural sound tearing out of him. โOh, f-fuckโyes. Pleaseโplease, touch yourself for me.โ
Your fingers circled faster, slick already coating your hand, the ache unbearable. Every moan that fell from your lips was mirrored by his, every shift of your body matched by the sloppy, desperate pace of his fist. Eyes locked. Bodies shaking. Both of you ruined, chasing release together without ever breaking the rules.
You were drenched, your fingers slick and messy as you rubbed yourself raw. Jisungโs eyes were wild, glazed with need, his fist a blur over his cock as he matched your pace. The room was filled with wet sounds, whines, gasps, both of you right there but still aching for more. It wasnโt enough.
With a sharp groan, he suddenly stilled. His hand shot out, wrapping around your wrist, pulling your fingers away from where you were dripping and swollen.
โWhaโโ you tried, breathless, but before you could ask, fuck, he angled forward and pushed the head of his cock against your soaked panties.
You both gasped at the contact.
โHoly shitโโ he choked, hips twitching as the thick length slid against your covered slit, the fabric doing nothing to hide how wet you were. Precum mixed with your arousal instantly, making it obscene, messy, almost bare.
Jisung froze, chest heaving, his forehead nearly knocking into yours. He held himself there, trembling, waiting. Just to see. Just to make sure. If you would stop him. If you would say no.
But you didnโt.
You tilted your hips instead, dragging yourself against him, and the sound he made, broken, whiny, shot straight through you.
โOh, fuckโโ he gasped, voice wrecked, thrusting forward again. โBabyโฆ itโs so wetโfeels like youโreโfuckโโ
The thin barrier of your panties was nothing now, every grind making you both moan louder, desperate and messy, so close to crossing the line completely it barely mattered anymore.
He was so hot, so hard, sliding against you in messy, desperate strokes. Every time the head caught on your clit through the soaked fabric, you gasped, hips jerking up into him.
Jisung was a mess above you, sweat curling his hair, lips swollen and shiny, breath tearing out of his chest in ragged moans. He pressed harder, rutting against you like he couldnโt stop himself, the slick sound between you filling the room.
โF-fuckโ, youโre soaking me through againโโ he gasped, voice high and shaky, his cock grinding so deep into your folds the fabric clung tight to both of you. โItโs like youโreโlike Iโm alreadyโโ His words dissolved into a whine as his hips snapped forward again, harder, chasing it.
You clutched the sheets behind you, arms shaking as you pushed your hips up to meet his. The pressure was unbearable, the drag so wet it felt bare, like every inch of him was sliding right against your swollen clit, against your dripping entrance, against everything you needed filled.
Your moans tangled with his, sloppy and loud, your body arching as he drove himself over you. The outline of his cock was so clear through the drenched fabric you could feel the veins, the thick weight, every ridge dragging against your folds.
And then, you couldnโt take it anymore.
With a shaky hand, you tugged your panties aside. Just a little. Just enough.
Jisungโs breath hitched so sharply it broke into a cry, raw and guttural. โOh, f-fucking Christโโ His cock slid against you fully now, bare to bare, the wet heat of you coating him instantly.
He nearly collapsed, forehead falling against your shoulder, his entire body trembling as he rutted forward, slower this time, savoring it, moaning into your skin. โI wonโtโI wonโt go inside, I promise,โ he whined, his voice so ruined it made you clench. โI justโplease, let meโjust like thisโfuckโโ
You couldnโt even answer. Your mouth opened, but all that came out was a broken moan, your hips lifting, dragging yourself against the length of him in desperate circles, slick and messy, every grind pulling him deeper against your folds.
It felt dangerous. It felt inevitable. It felt like crossing the line, even without him inside you.
Jisungโs thrusts slowed, the frantic pace breaking into something almost reverent. His hand wrapped loosely around the base of his cock, guiding himself as he dragged his tip up your folds, sticky and wet, circling your clit, slipping lower just to hover at your entrance.
Every time the swollen head kissed your hole, your body clenched in reflex, and he whimpered, nose burying into your shoulder. But then, heโd pull away, dragging back up, smearing you open and wet, grinding himself against your clit until your thighs trembled.
โJisungโโ You could barely breathe. The teasing was driving you insane, the thick head catching everywhere but where you needed it most.
He moaned, shaking his head, his voice a broken rasp. โIโm s-sorry, I canโtโI just want to feel all of you, every inchโfuck, youโreโโ
But you wanted it too. Needed it.
Your hand slid down, trembling, and he froze when your fingers brushed his cock. Carefully, deliberately, you pressed his tip against you, holding him there as your hips rolled up to meet him.
The gasp that tore out of him was wrecked. โOhโoh my godโbabyโโ His entire body jerked forward, his cock twitching hard against your hold. You dragged him higher, rubbing him through your slick folds, pressing down so he dragged against you as if he were fucking you, thick, heavy, perfect.
His head tipped back, mouth open, eyes squeezed shut as he moaned your name. โYesโlike thatโjust like thatโholy fuck, youโreโโ His words dissolved into a whine as his hips rocked helplessly into the pressure of your hand guiding him, each stroke hitting your clit and folds so perfectly it felt like he was inside without crossing the line.
You couldnโt stop, not with how good it felt, the friction sharper, deeper, every grind soaking him more, every roll of his hips making you both choke on the sound of it. Your panties clung uselessly at the side, your thighs spread wide, and he was rutting against you like you were the only thing he had ever wanted.
His voice broke, desperate and raw. โPlease donโt stopโdonโt ever stopโfuck, Iโm so close, baby, I canโtโโ
The rhythm turned ragged, messy, both of you grinding harder, faster, no restraint left. Your fingers held his tip flush against your folds, every roll of his hips making him drag thick and heavy across your clit, catching perfectly, sparks firing in your stomach.
โBabyโoh my god, shitโโ His voice broke on a sob of a moan, forehead pressed to yours, sweat slicking his temples. He was rutting against your hand, against you, helpless, chasing it with every ounce of his body.
โJiโfuck, Ji, donโt stopโโ You couldnโt breathe, couldnโt think, your whole body tightening as his cock slid and caught exactly where you needed it. The obscene sound of it, wet and relentless, only pushed you higher.
And then you shattered. Your body arched up against him, a strangled cry ripping from your throat as you came, soaking him, thighs trembling around his hips.
The second he felt you clench and shake, Jisung broke. His hips jerked hard, his cock grinding desperately against you one, two more times before he let out a strangled cry, spilling hot and messy all over your folds, your stomach, your panties tugged to the side.
โFuckfuckfuckโโ His words dissolved into gasps as he collapsed forward, cock still twitching against your drenched skin, rutting through the aftershocks because he couldnโt stop, not yet.
You held his face against your neck, both of you panting, bodies sticky and trembling, ruined together.
When he finally stilled, chest heaving, he whispered against your skin, voice raw and wrecked, โThatโฆ that wasโฆ too good. I canโtโโ He laughed weakly, still clinging to you. โWeโre so fucked. Iโm so fucked.โ
You let out a breathless laugh, brushing damp hair off his forehead. โI think it would be easier if we just have sex already. This is insane.โ
His head snapped up, eyes blown wide, mouth dropping open. โWaitโreally? You say that now? Afterโfuck, after that?โ His voice cracked in disbelief, half-whiny, half-hungry, still. โShit, donโt play with me like that, I canโt get hard again already.โ
You just giggled, tilting your head, smug.
He groaned, collapsing against your chest again, hiding his face. โGod, Iโm being pathetic again, arenโt I?โ His voice was muffled, small, wrecked.
You traced a lazy line down his back, grinning at the way he shivered under your touch. โMmโฆ yeah. A little.โ
โShit, I'm fucked.โ
โ
+++ authors note: idk why it's called dry humping i'm personally really fucking wet about it...
โง thank you for reading my stuff!! you can check out my intro + masterlist post to find all my works in one place.
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pairing: chan x afab(female)!reader, non idol au, lovers to ex's to strangers (almost) back to lovers
synopsis: chan had let you go, on his own judgement that you'd be happier without him, and actually seeing you happy on your wedding day with someone else hurt him more than ever. However when he hears about your problems (and your baby on the way) he does everything to make up for what he did.
warnings: angst, domestic-y, a brief wash over smut (not fully detailed), romantic comfort, mentions of divorce pregnancy, lemme know if I missed any, y/n has two weddings
A/n: inspired by the song below. If you have extra eyes for errors no you don't.
now playing: ILYSMIH - Kali Uchis
The wedding was beautiful.
Too beautiful, Chan thought bitterly as he sat among the candlelight and flower arrangements, the air thick with perfume and polite laughter. The room buzzed with chatter, but all he could hear was the pounding of his own heart. It was the kind of venue that dripped with elegance, crystal glassware, gold-plated cutlery, soft violin music echoing faintly as waiters passed with champagne flutes and hors d'oeuvres.
He looked good, he had to admit. Black suit tailored perfectly, his chain glinting subtly under the dim lighting. His face was composed, but his eyesโthey gave him away. Empty, distant, always scanning for her.
She hadnโt appeared yet.
Guests were seated, the ceremony having already taken place earlier in a private garden that Chan hadnโt been invited to. It stung just a little. No, it stung like hell. He had received the invitation to the reception only. It was a mercy, really. A cruel one.
He hadnโt wanted to come. God, he had stared at the envelope for days, debating. But something pulled him here. Pride? Regret? Masochism? Maybe he just wanted to see if she looked happy without him. Maybe a part of him wanted to believe she wouldnโt.
The lights dimmed slightly. Murmurs quieted. Everyone turned their attention to the staircase, where Y/N finally appeared.
Chanโs breath caught.
She was radiant. The kind of beauty that didnโt ask for attention but owned it. Her dress shimmered like stardust, her smile warm and wide as she clutched the hand of the man beside her. Her husband.
That word hit him like a punch.
Chan clapped politely as they made their way to the head table. He didnโt realize his hands were trembling until he stopped. His eyes didnโt leave herโnot once. Not as they sat, not as they toasted, not even as the groom leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple. Chan stared like a man witnessing the life he shouldโve fought harder for. Dinner passed in a blur. People laughed, reminisced, danced between courses. Chan remained seated. He didnโt touch his wine. Couldnโt stomach the food. The conversations around him faded into static.
And then she stood.
Y/N walked to the center of the room with a microphone in hand, the light catching the teardrop earrings he remembered buying her on her 25th birthday. Her voice, soft and steady, filled the air.
โFirst of all,โ she began, โthank you all for being here. Tonight isโฆ surreal. And I mean that in the best way.โ
She looked around, her eyes gliding over the room. For a fleeting second, they landed on Chan. He thought he saw something flicker in her expressionโuncertainty? Pain? Or maybe he was imagining it. Wishful thinking.
โIโve always been the kind of person who loves hard,โ she continued. โWho dreams big, and believes in second chancesโฆ sometimes even when I shouldnโt.โ
The room chuckled. Chan didnโt. โI used to think love was meant to hurt. That if it wasnโt chaos, it wasnโt real. I donโt believe that anymore.โ Her eyes shined not from tears, but conviction. โIโve learned that love should feel safe. It should be your home. Your peace.โ
Chanโs chest tightened. Her words didnโt need names. He felt the unspoken weight behind every one of them.
โIโm so grateful to have found someone who doesnโt make me question if Iโm too much. Someone who loves every scar, every mess, every part of me.โ
She turned toward her husband, smiling softly.
Chan looked down. It was deafening nowโthe regret. He thought leaving was the right thing. He convinced himself that Y/N deserved someone better. Someone who wasnโt always busy, always in his head, always running. So he let her go. Walked away without fighting. And now, here he was clapping for the woman he still loved as she promised forever to someone else.
He shouldโve said something. Back then. When she begged him to try. His hands came together slowly in applause, the sound barely audible over the standing ovation. But he wasnโt clapping for love. He was clapping for the pieces of himself that shattered quietly inside.
The music shifted into something lighter, more upbeat. Laughter filled the room again, chatter rebounding off the walls of the reception hall. The formalities were over now just mingling, dancing, and celebration left.
Chan sat still. He shouldnโt have come.
His chest was tight, lungs burning in silence as he watched Y/N weave gracefully through the crowd. She was radiant in her post-speech glow, stopping to greet friends, receiving hugs and compliments. People told her how beautiful she looked. How lucky her husband was. How magical the night had turned out. And she smiled. Genuinely. Effortlessly.
Chan couldnโt take it anymore.
He pushed his chair back quietly, letting the scrape of the legs drown beneath the music. His jaw was tight, his eyes stinging more than he was willing to admit. He blinked hard, hoping it would stop the tears from spilling but one slipped anyway, sliding warm and bitter down his cheek.
He didnโt belong here. He turned and began to walk toward the exit, shoulders stiff, breath caught somewhere between shame and heartbreak.
โChan?โ
Her voice. Soft. Familiar. Just loud enough to catch him in the middle of unraveling.
He froze.
Slowly, he turned, and there she was just a few feet behind him now. Bouquet tucked under one arm, her other hand holding the hem of her dress so it wouldnโt drag. She looked unsure. Not nervous, butโฆ gentle. Careful.
He didnโt speak. Didnโt trust himself to. She walked up to him, stopping at armโs length. The air between them was thick with everything they never said. All the things that still lived in the silence.
โI didnโt think youโd actually come,โ she said, voice small, but honest.
Chan swallowed hard. He looked down, then up again. And finally spoke, low and raw.
โIโm sorry.โ Y/N blinked. That hadnโt been what she expected.
โChanโฆโ
โIโm sorry,โ he repeated, this time shakier. โFor everything. Forโฆ not being who you needed.โ
Her lips parted like she wanted to say something but hadnโt found the words yet. โI thought I was doing the right thing,โ he whispered, eyes searching hers. โBack then. Letting you go. I thought I was protecting you. I thought Iโโ He stopped. A bitter laugh caught in his throat. โI thought I had time.โ
Without hesitation, she reached forward and took his hands. Hers were warm. Familiar. Anchoring.
โChanโฆโ she said softly, โitโs not your fault.โ
He looked away, blinking quickly as emotion threatened to spill again.
โItโs not your fault that we wanted different things,โ she continued, voice steady. โYou didnโt fail me. You didnโt ruin anything. We justโฆ grew apart. And thatโs okay.โ
He flinched at that, at the calm in her voice. The acceptance. The closure. She gave his hands a small squeeze.
โI loved you,โ she said. โWith everything I had.โ He nodded, eyes glistening. โI know. I loved you, too.โ A silence fell between them. Not awkward. Not heavy. Just final. โThank you,โ she said gently, โfor coming. It means more than you know.โ
Chan finally managed a small, broken smile. One hand slipped from hers, brushing his face roughly.
โYeah,โ he muttered. โYeah, of course.โ
And then he stepped back. She didnโt stop him. She watched him leave with a soft, unreadable expressionโan ache in her chest, but a weight lifted too.And Chan walked out of the reception, hands in his pockets, a tear-stained smile on his face.
She was happy.
The night air was colder than he expected.
Chan walked slowly toward his car, the sound of the reception fading behind him like a memory already starting to blur. The click of his shoes on the pavement felt louder than it should. Like they echoed in his chest.
He breathed in deep, trying to let it go. The night. The speech. Her voice. Her hands in his. He couldnโt. As he reached the driverโs side door, he heard soft footsteps again.
โChanโฆโ
His shoulders tensed before he looked back.
Y/N stood there, her dress a little rumpled from walking, the bouquet gone now. In her hands was a small, neatly wrapped box tied with twine and a soft beige ribbon. Her eyes held that same gentleness from earlier, but this time, there was something else too. Sadness. Or maybe nostalgia.
โIโฆ I know I gave gifts to the wedding party,โ she said, walking closer, โbut youโre still a guest. So, I wanted to give you something too.โ
He blinked. โY/N, you didnโt have toโโ
โI wanted to,โ she cut in gently.
She stopped in front of him, holding the small box out. โAndโฆโ she hesitated, voice faltering for the first time. โIโll really miss you.โ That broke something in him. The way she said it like it hurt. โIโm gonna check in on you, okay?โ she added, trying for a smile. โJustโฆ to make sure youโre alright. That youโre eating. Sleeping. Not burning out again.โ
Chan let out a breathy laugh, one that cracked halfway through.
โYou havenโt changed,โ he murmured.
โNeither have you,โ she whispered. Then, before he could say anything more, she stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Soft. Lingering. Too long to be just polite. Too close to his lips not to mean something.
Chan froze. She didnโt pull away at first just hovered there, barely an inch from his mouth, eyes flicking between his lips and his gaze. His hand twitched at his side. God, he wanted to lean in. Wanted to remember how she tasted. Wanted to forget time. Forget that someone else was waiting for her upstairs.
But he didnโt move.
โY/N,โ he said quietly, his voice wrecked, โyou should go back up.โ The sentence stabbed more than he expected. She blinked like sheโd just woken up from something, then pulled back, embarrassed. โIโm sorry,โ she mumbled. โThat wasโstupid.โ
โNo,โ he said quickly, โit wasnโt.โ
Her eyes glistened for a moment, and she nodded.
โTake care of yourself, Channie.โ Then she handed him the gift and turned to leave, her steps slow but certain, like she didnโt trust herself to stop again if she looked back. Chan watched her until she disappeared through the doors.
Only then did he look down at the box in his hands.
He unwrapped it carefully, like it might break. Like it might be the last thing of her heโd ever touch.
Inside was a simple, black leather bracelet. Engraved on the inside were the words:
When you forget how bright you are, look here. And tucked beneath it was a note. Her handwriting. Still soft. Still familiar.
โThank you for being my first home.โ
Chan pressed the bracelet to his lips, eyes closing as the pain surged again. She was someone elseโs now. But a part of her had still remembered him.
And for nowโฆ that had to be enough.
---
Four years later.
The city was quieter in the mornings. Less noise. Less pressure. Just the dull hum of life breathing in slow motion.
Chan sat outside a small cafรฉ, legs crossed, a cappuccino growing cold in his hands. The braceletโher braceletโpeeked out beneath his sleeve as he rolled his wrist to check the time. It had become a permanent part of him. He never took it off, not even once. It wasnโt about holding onto her anymore, not exactly. It was about remembering something real. Something that had shaped him.
Across the table, his friend, Jaemin, dug into his croissant, wiping crumbs off his mouth between sips of espresso. โYou know Y/Nโs pregnant, right?โ Jaemin said casually, almost too casually.
Chan blinked. His grip on the cup faltered for a second. โWaitโwhat?โ
Jaemin nodded. โYeah. Due in a couple months, I think.โ
The smile that bloomed across Chanโs face was instant and visceralโwide and genuine and so full of warmth it almost hurt. โHoly shit,โ he breathed. โSheโs gonna be a mom?โ
โYeah.โ
โGod, thatโsโฆ thatโs amazing,โ he said, eyes gleaming. โWhy didnโt she tell me?โ Jaemin looked at him for a beat too long, like he was weighing something.
Chan caught it. โWhat?โ
Jaemin exhaled. โSheโsโฆ filing for divorce, Chan.โ
Chanโs smile dropped like glass hitting tile.
โWhat?โ Jaemin rubbed his neck, glancing around before leaning in a little. โIt started a few months ago. Her husband he was cheating. For a while, apparently. With someone he worked with. It got messy. She found out when she was already a few weeks pregnant.โ
The words didnโt register at first. Chan just stared at him.
โSheโsโฆ divorcing him?โ he repeated. Jaemin nodded slowly. โYeah. Itโs official now. Sheโs been going through the paperwork, court dates, custody prep. Itโs a lot. She's doing it all on her own. The pregnancy too.โ
Chan leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face.
Fuck. That asshole. The guy sheโd chosen instead. The one who made her smile like she was finally safe. The one she married.
โIs she okay?โ Chan asked quietly. Jaemin hesitated, then said, โSheโs trying to be. I think sheโs doing better now, but you know herโshe keeps it all quiet. Doesnโt really let people in until itโs already torn her apart.โ
Chan looked down at the bracelet again, fingers brushing the worn leather. โWhen you forget how bright you are, look here.โ
โI didnโt even know she was pregnant,โ he whispered. โShe didnโt tell me.โ
โShe didnโt tell anyone at first. And when she started showing, she stopped going out altogether. Said she didnโt want pity. Just peace.โ Chan swallowed the lump rising in his throat. His thoughts raced back to the last time he saw her standing in front of his car, kissing his cheek, eyes too full of things they never said.
She had meant it when she said sheโd miss him. She had checked in, once or twice. But eventually, the messages faded. Life moved on. Or at least, it pretended to.
โDoes she have anyone helping her?โ
โJust her mom,โ Jaemin replied. โAnd a couple friends. Butโฆ sheโs pretty much handling it alone.โ Chan stared out at the street, brows furrowed deep, jaw tight. He shouldโve known. He shouldโve noticed something, anything.
He shook his head, trying to breathe past the guilt clawing at his chest.
โJaeminโฆโ
โYeah?โ
โCan you give me her address?โ
The friend raised an eyebrow. โYou thinking of showing up?โ Chan didnโt answer right away. But his eyes were set.
His fingers tightened over the bracelet.
The sky was soaked in burnt gold when Chan pulled up in front of your place.
It was quiet the kind of quiet that settles only after something breaks and no oneโs had the strength to clean it up. The porch light flickered faintly against the dimming horizon, and the blinds in your front windows were pulled halfway down, casting soft shadows over the living room.
He sat in the car for a full five minutes before moving. The keys were still in the ignition, engine ticking down. His palms were sweating, even though the AC had been on the whole drive.
His foot finally moved, pressing the door open.
With every step toward your house, his heart beat louder. Four years. Four years of distance, of choosing silence, of watching and hearing you build a life without him and now, here he was. Not as a guest. Not for a wedding. Just a man who heard that the person he never stopped loving was hurting.
He raised his hand and knocked, just once.
A few seconds passed. Then the door creaked open.
And there you were. You looked differentโbut not in a bad way. Softer. Tired. Your hair was pulled back into a messy braid, a hoodie hanging over your frame, one hand resting gently on your small but clearly visible bump.
Your eyes widened the moment you saw him. You blinked once, then again, as if your brain was double-checking the image in front of you.
โChan?โ
His throat dried. He could only nod.
You stared. For a moment, neither of you moved. The weight of time sat like a ghost between you.
โIโฆ what are you doing here?โ you asked, voice quiet. Chan licked his lips, took a breath.
โI heard,โ he said. โAbout the baby. About the divorce.โ Your expression shifted, still shocked, but now tinged with a sadness he hadnโt seen in years.
โOh,โ you murmured, stepping back instinctively, hand protectively falling to your stomach. โI didnโt thinkโฆ I mean, I didnโt expectโโ
โI know,โ he interrupted gently. โI know Iโm probably the last person you wanted to see.โ
You shook your head, unsure. โNo, itโs not that. I justโฆ I didnโt think youโd care.โ
โI shouldnโt have stayed away this long,โ he said, gaze finally rising to meet yours. โI didnโt know. And when I found out, I couldnโt justโฆ pretend I didnโt care.โ You bit your lip, leaning against the doorway, uncertain. The air between you was heavy with unspoken things memories, regrets, almosts.
โYou still wear it,โ you said softly, eyes flickering down to the bracelet on his wrist. His lips quirked up barely. โI never stopped.โ Your eyes welled before you could stop them.
โChanโฆโ
He stepped closer, careful. Like approaching something fragile. โIโm not here to make this harder on you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. To see you.โ
You nodded, blinking away tears. โIโm trying.โ
He smiled gently. โYeah. I can see that.โ
Silence again. But this time, it wasnโt as sharp.
You looked at him for a long while. The man who once held you like the world might fall apart. The man who let you go because he thought it was right.
But nowโฆ right looked different. And for a second, just one second, you wished he had come sooner.
โDo you wanna come in?โ you asked. Chan paused. Then nodded.
โIโd like that.โ
You led Chan into the house quietly, like speaking too loud might make the moment disappear.
It smelled like lavender and ginger tea inside, soft and lived-in. A few unpacked boxes sat in the corner of the living room, and a baby book lay open on the coffee table, half-filled, the pen still tucked in the spine. The lights were warm, and the couch looked like youโd fallen asleep on it more than once.
You moved slowly, tired. He could see it in your steps. In your body. In your soul.
Chan sat down across from you as you lowered yourself carefully onto the couch. You leaned back with a hand against your belly, exhaling softly, and he watched youโwatched the small movements you probably didnโt even notice. How you winced when your back hit the cushions. How you rubbed at your side absentmindedly, like it had been sore all day.
His chest ached.
โYouโve been able to go for your checkups, right?โ he asked, eyes scanning your face, gentle but firm. You didnโt answer right away. Instead, you looked down, brushing invisible lint from your lap.
โโฆNot lately,โ you admitted. โIโฆ havenโt been able to pay.โ
That was all it took for something in Chan to snap. Not in anger but in the way someoneโs heart clenches when they hear something that shouldnโt be true.
โWhat?โ His voice dropped. โY/Nโseriously?โ
โIโm fine,โ you said quickly, trying to wave it off. โItโs just been a weird few months. And Iโve been careful. Iโm healthy. The babyโs okay, I think.โ
He leaned forward, brows furrowed. โYou think?โ
You winced. โI havenโt had a scan in a while.โ Chan ran a hand through his hair, trying to stay calm. โYou canโt go without those. You need to know how the babyโs doing.โ
โI know, I know,โ you murmured. โBut Iโve been applying for emergency aid, and my momโs been helping with bills, and Iโm trying not to stress the baby out with hospital debtโโ
โStop,โ he said gently but firmly. โY/N. You donโt have to do this alone.โ
You looked at him, tired and wide-eyed.
He softened his voice. โIโm taking you to your next scan. No arguments.โ You opened your mouth. He raised a brow.
โNo arguments,โ he repeated.
You let out a shaky laugh. โYouโre still so bossy.โ Chan smiled. โOnly when Iโm right.โ
The room settled for a moment, the tension easing just a little. You curled your fingers around a throw pillow, glancing at him. โYou really donโt have to do that,โ you said again, quieter. โI want to,โ he replied. โLet me.โ
Another beat passed. Then you nodded. โOkay.โ
He exhaled, shoulders relaxing. โGood.โ
You sat in the quiet for a moment. Then, as if it had been bubbling beneath the surface all along, Chan asked the question.
โโฆHow did you find out?โ
You blinked. โAboutโฆ him?โ
He nodded, careful not to say his name. He didnโt deserve the weight of it. You sighed and looked down at your hands. โI found a second phone.โ
Chan's jaw tensed, but he didnโt interrupt.
โIt was in his car. Stuck between the seat cushions. I thought it was mine at first, but when I opened it, it didnโt have a passcode.โ You swallowed. โThere were texts. A lot of them. Photos. Some of them taken here. In our house.โ
Chan closed his eyes for a moment, fury and helplessness surging together in his gut. โI waited until he got home,โ you continued. โI didnโt say anything at first. I justโฆ watched him. He kissed my forehead. Asked me what I wanted for dinner.โ
Your voice trembled slightly.
โI asked him who she was. He didnโt even deny it. Just stared at me. Said it had โjust happenedโ and that he โwasnโt in love with her.โโ You laughed bitterly. โLike that was supposed to make me feel better.โ
Chanโs hands curled into fists in his lap, nails digging into his palms.
โI didnโt scream. I didnโt cry. I just told him to leave.โ
โYou shouldnโt have had to go through that alone,โ Chan whispered. You shrugged. โI was tired of fighting to be loved properly.โ Silence fell again, this time heavier. More fragile. Chan leaned forward slowly, voice hushed, steady.
โYou are loved properly. You deserve that. You always did.โ
You looked at him then. Really looked. His gaze didnโt waver.
And something in your chest cracked a little. He wasnโt the same man youโd last seen at your wedding. He looked older now. Sharper in some places, softer in others. But the way he looked at you? That hadnโt changed. That gaze had always made you feel seen.
You whispered, โThank youโฆ for coming.โ
Chan gave a small nod, voice thick. โIโll be there for the next appointment. And every one after that. If youโll let me.โ You smiled, eyes shining with something between grief and comfort.
โOkay.โ
---
It was early afternoon, the sunlight soft and golden as it filtered through the clinicโs tall windows. The waiting room smelled faintly of hand sanitizer and baby powder, a combination that made Chan oddly nervous and comforted all at once.
He sat beside you in one of the pale blue chairs, hands clasped tightly between his knees, eyes flicking every so often to you.
You looked beautiful. Tiredโbut beautiful. A soft, oversized sweater hung loosely over your bump, and your hair was pulled back in a low bun, wisps framing your face. You were quiet, your fingers gently resting atop your belly, occasionally drawing little patterns as if to soothe the child growing inside.
Chan hadn't said much when he picked you up earlier that morning just a quiet, โYou look good,โ and a small smile. Heโd made sure you were buckled in safely. Played soft music in the car. Asked if you wanted coffee or a snack before the appointment. You hadnโt said much either, but your hand brushing his on the gearshift had said enough.
Now, in the waiting room, the silence was heavier. Not tense but thick with unspoken things.
Chan glanced sideways. โAre you okay?โ
You nodded. โJust nervous.โ He nodded back. โMe too.โ
You let out a soft laugh. โYouโre not the one being poked and scanned.โ
โNo,โ he said, looking at your stomach, โbut it still matters.โ Just then, the nurse opened the door and called your name. You stood slowly, Chan rising immediately to steady you by the elbow.
The nurse smiled as she led you both to the room. โPartner?โ she asked lightly, glancing at Chan.
Your eyes flicked to him for a split second.
โFriend,โ you said softly.
Chan didnโt react, but his heart ached anyway. Once inside the dim ultrasound room, you lay down, pulling your sweater up just enough for the nurse to apply the gel. The machine hummed gently, the monitor glowing blue with soft static as she moved the wand across your belly.
Thenโthere it was.
The baby.
Tiny. Whole. Wiggling slightly.
Chanโs breath hitched. โWhoaโฆโ
You looked over at him, and his face, God, his face. Soft and stunned and glowing with something almost like reverence. โThereโs the heartbeat,โ the nurse said, smiling as the sound filled the room, fast and strong and rhythmic.
Chan blinked quickly, and you werenโt sure if it was the monitor light or something more that made his eyes shine like that.
โThatโs amazing,โ he whispered.
The nurse nodded. โEverything looks healthy. Do you want to know the gender today?โ You glanced at Chan. He blinked. โUp to you.โ
You bit your lip. Then nodded. โYeahโฆ I think I do.โ
The nurse turned the screen toward you. โCongratulations. Youโre having a girl.โ
For a second, the air went still. Then Chan let out a soft laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. โA girlโฆโ
You blinked up at the monitor, your eyes glassy. โSheโs perfect.โ
The nurse handed you a towel to wipe off the gel and printed a couple of pictures for you before stepping out, giving you both a moment. You sat up slowly, looking at the ultrasound photo in your hands. โI was so scared Iโd never hear that heartbeat again.โ
Chan reached out, his fingers brushing yours. โYou donโt have to do this alone anymore.โ
You didnโt answer at first. Thenโquietlyโyou whispered, โI missed you.โ
Chanโs jaw clenched.
โI missed you too,โ he said, voice hoarse.
But neither of you moved. Neither of you leaned in. The ache was there, right beneath the surface, waiting. Instead, Chan reached for his phone. โLet me take a picture of the scan too?โ
You handed it to him, and as he held the photo up to the light, you noticed his wristโthe bracelet.
Still intact. Still worn.
You swallowed the knot in your throat.
โThank youโฆ for being here,โ you murmured. Chan met your eyes. โI always shouldโve been.โ
The drive home was quieter than before, but not in a bad way. The kind of quiet that feltโฆ safe. Like the world had calmed a little after hearing your daughterโs heartbeat. Chan kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting near the gearshift, fingers tapping lightly to another slow song playing on the radio. You looked out the window, the ultrasound photo in your lap, fingers brushing the corner now and then like you still couldnโt believe she was real.
He glanced over at you at a red light. โYou hungry?โ
You nodded, sighing. โI havenโt had a proper meal in days.โ That made his brow furrow. โThen Iโm cooking. Real food. Not cup noodles and crackers.โ
You smiled softly. โYou still remember that?โ
He gave you a mock-offended look. โHow could I forget? You basically lived off saltines and orange juice the first three weeks of your last breakup.โ
You snorted. โThatโs not even an exaggeration.โ
โNope,โ he grinned. โI was there.โ The words lingered longer than they should have.
Your apartment was warm and quiet when he brought you inside. You sank into the couch while he bustled into the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, opening cabinets and drawers like heโd never stopped memorizing where everything was. You watched him, one arm draped lazily over your bump, unable to stop the small smile tugging at your lips.
โStill allergic to tomatoes?โ he called from the fridge.
โYeah.โ
He hummed. โThen no tomato paste.โ
The familiarity settled into the room like sunlight through curtains. It wasnโt loud. Wasnโt even emotional. It just feltโฆ right.
A little later, you were seated at the small dining table as he brought over two platesโpan-fried chicken, rice, and a salad he somehow made look expensive. He cut your chicken for you without even asking and handed you your fork like it was just another Tuesday.
โYou always used too much salt,โ you teased.
โStill do,โ he smirked. โBut I learned to scale back. Growth.โ
You both laughed. The food tasted goodโbetter than good. Maybe it was the warmth of it, or just the fact that it was made by someone who actually cared. Either way, you cleaned your plate, and Chan practically glowed as he watched.
โYouโre easy to cook for when youโre not nauseous,โ he said, sipping water.
โYouโre just happy I didnโt throw it up.โ
โWell, yeah, that too.โ You leaned back, rubbing your stomach. โGodโฆ okay. That actually made me feel human again.โ
He smiled. โGlad I could help.โ Then, more softly, he asked, โWhat phase are you in now? Likeโฆ with the pregnancy stuff.โ You lifted your fingers, counting quietly, then nodded. โHormonal phase.โ
His face froze. โ...Oh.โ
You laughed. โNot like that.โ
โNo, noโitโs fine. I justโฆ Iโve seen movies, Y/N. Youโre about to turn into a hormonal dragon.โ
โI am a dragon, Chan.โ
He grinned. โThat tracks.โ You rolled your eyes, nudging your plate forward. โItโs not as dramatic as it sounds. It just means I cry at weird things, snap a little more than usual, and sometimesโฆ I get kind ofโโ you paused, lowering your voice, โtouchy.โ
His ears flushed pink. โTouchy?โ
โMmhmm.โ
โOh.โ
โDonโt worry,โ you said quickly, sipping your water. โNothingโs really triggered it. Iโve been too tired. Or too pissed at life.โ
โStill,โ he muttered, โyou shouldnโt be going through that alone.โ
You didnโt reply. You didnโt need to. The silence between you said enough.
The knock on the door came just as he was starting to tidy up the dishes. You stood, waddling slightly toward the door. Chan tried to stop you, but you waved him off with a muttered, โIโm not a doll.โ
You opened the door, and there stood your mom with two plastic bags full of home-cooked food, a thick envelope, and a half-worried, half-annoyed look on her face. โWhy didnโt you answer my callsโ?โ she started, then her eyes locked onto Chan standing in your kitchen, drying a plate.
โโฆIs thatโฆ?โ
โHi, Mrs. Y/L/N,โ Chan said, putting the plate down and stepping forward with a little bow.
Your mom blinked. Then blinked again. Then looked at you with a smirk that could slice granite. โSoโฆ youโre back together?โ
Your mouth opened. โNo.โ She raised a brow.
โMom, noโweโre not. Heโs justโhe came to the scan with me.โ
Chan nodded. โJust wanted to make sure she wasnโt alone.โ
Your mom stared for another beat. Then she stepped inside, handing you the bags. โStill. Itโs nice to see someone responsible in this apartment again.โ
โMom.โ
โIโm just saying.โ She handed you the envelope. โItโs for the next few weeks. Doctor bills. Rent. Groceries.โ
You frowned. โMom, you donโt have toโโ
โI want to,โ she said firmly. โAnd now that youโre getting company againโฆโ Her eyes slid to Chan with a sly smile. โMaybe youโll stop acting like youโre married to grief.โ
You covered your face. โI swear weโre not back together.โ
โI donโt believe you,โ she said, taking off her coat and heading to the kitchen. โAnd honestly, I donโt want to.โ Chan glanced at you as your mother started rearranging the fridge.
You sighed, giving him a helpless look.
He just smiled and mouthed, Sorry, his eyes warm and glinting with something else. Something that, for the first time in years, didnโt hurt as much as it healed.
---
Your mom stayed longer than she said she would.
She always did, especially when she had that look in her eyeโthe one that said โI know youโre not okay even if youโre pretending to be.โ
You tried to shoo her away more than once, especially after she started wiping down countertops and reorganizing your medicine shelf like she lived there. But she waved off your protests with a simple, โYouโre pregnant, not in control.โ
At one point she adjusted a crooked picture frame in the hallway and muttered, โThat man couldnโt even hang things straight. Figures.โ You didnโt even have the energy to ask if she meant your ex-husband or Chan. Either way, she brought warmth into the apartment like she always had.
Eventually, when the fridge was full, the floor was vacuumed, and you were sitting down like she demanded, she kissed your forehead and whispered, โRest more. Stress less.โ
Then she turned to Chan.
She leaned up to whisper something in his ear as she held his arm, her lips barely moving, and his body tensed just enough for you to notice. She gave him a gentle pat, almost motherly, then left with a wink in your direction and a, โBe good.โ
The door closed behind her, and silence took its place. Chan was still standing near the door when you glanced up at him.
โYou okay?โ you asked.
He blinked like heโd forgotten he was still here. โYeah.โ
But his voice was distant. Thoughtful. You tucked your knees under your blanket. โYou donโt have to stay, you know.โ
He sat beside you anyway. โI want to.โ
You were curled sideways on the couch now, legs draped across his lap. Heโd rubbed your ankle earlier when youโd complained about swelling. He was still touching you nowโabsently brushing your calf like it soothed him, not just you.
You studied him. Really studied him. His jaw was tense. His eyes kept flicking between your face and your belly, like he was searching for somethingโcomfort, maybe. Or control.
And you felt it.
That ache. That old pull toward him that never really left. Not even when you signed your vows to another man. Not even when the bed beside you went cold. Not even when you cried in the shower with your wedding ring still on.
โโฆThank you,โ you whispered.
He looked at you. โFor what?โ
You swallowed hard. โFor coming back when I didnโt know how to ask. For taking me to the scan. For making dinner. For justโฆ showing up.โ
His eyes softened. โYou donโt need to thank me for that.โ
โI do,โ you said. โBecauseโฆ if Iโm being honest, I donโt know how to function without you.โ He sat still. Not frozen, butโฆ braced.
And you added, softly, โI think I cheated first.โ
Chan blinked. โWhat?โ
โI meanโnot physically,โ you clarified. โNot in the traditional sense. But... even when I was married, even when I tried, I never stopped thinking about you. In the quiet moments. In the conversations. Even when we had sex.โ
His body flinched slightly.
You nodded, voice hoarse. โI pictured you sometimes. Not just how you touched me, but how you used to hold me after. How safe I felt. How loved. Even when I hated you, I still wanted you.โ
Chan inhaled sharply, about to speak, but you continued, voice cracking:
โSo maybe I didnโt cheat in bed. But I cheated in my mind. And my heart.โ You looked up at him now, closer than before. โTell me you didnโt feel the same.โ
He opened his mouth.
Then closed it. Because he couldnโt. You were both quiet. Breathing the same air. Sharing the same silence. You shifted slightly, your knee brushing his thigh. โDo you wear it every day?โ you whispered. โThe bracelet, I meanโโ
โI wear it,โ he said, voice rough. โEvery day.โ
Your eyes widened.
His hand came up, hesitatingโthen gently cupped your cheek.
โI never stopped loving you,โ he said, so quietly it felt like a confession.
You didnโt breathe.
โEven when I saw you walk in a dress meant for someone else, Iโve been in love with you,โ he said, voice breaking. โAnd I hated myself for it. I told myself I had to let you go. That it was selfish to hold on. But I couldnโt. Youโre the one I see when I wake up. The one I think about when I hear love songs. The one I dream about when everything else falls apart.โ
You leaned into his palm, eyes closing.
His thumb brushed your cheek, trailing down to your jaw. โIโm scared,โ he whispered.
โOf what?โ
โOf loving you all over again and losing you again.โ
You moved closer, breath mingling with his. โYou never stopped.โ Then, without another word, he kissed you.
Hard.
Not desperate. Not reckless. But real. It was the kind of kiss that cracked something open.
His hands moved to cradle your face carefully, mindful of your body. Your fingers curled into his shirt. The weight of everything between you crashed into that kissโthe years, the regret, the what-ifs, the silence.
He didnโt rush it. He let it burn slow. Let it say everything words couldnโt. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathless. Your fingers trembled where they clutched him. And his hands, God, his hands were still so warm on your face.
You didnโt say anything. Neither did he. You didnโt need to. The truth had already been spoken. And sealed between your lips.
Your breath hitched as his kiss broke, barely a whisper of air between your mouths. His hands stayed steady on your face, thumbs brushing just under your eyes as tears gathered and finally spilled.
Chanโs voice was gentle, low. โHeyโฆ no, noโdonโt cry.โ
He kissed the corner of one eye, then the other, his touch so heartbreakingly soft that it only made your chest ache more. You sniffled, letting out a shaky laugh, and leaned into him helplessly.
โIโm sorry,โ you murmured. โI didnโt mean toโโ
He shushed you with another kiss, this time deeperโneedier. You responded instantly, your fingers curling into his shirt, dragging him closer like your body remembered this rhythm better than your mind did.
The kiss turned messier, warmer. His hand slid to the back of your neck, cradling you, anchoring you to him like he was terrified to let go again.
You pulled back for just a breath, lips swollen, voice shaky but teasing.
โI thinkโฆโ you panted, โโฆyou just triggered my touchy hormones.โ
You burst into soft laughter, resting your forehead against his shoulder. โNah. Itโs okay. Itโll die down.โ You let out a long breath, trying to cool the flush across your cheeks and throat, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.
But thenโฆ he didnโt move.
You felt his hand trail from your neck to your jaw again, coaxing you to look up.
When you did, he was closer than before gaze darker, more intent. His voice was lower now, the kind of tone he used to use when you were alone. When he was in love. โBut what if I donโt want it to die down?โ
Your heart skipped.
You blinked. โWhat?โ
He leaned in, nose brushing yours, mouth hovering over your lips.
โWhat if I want you to be horny?โ he whispered.
Your breath caught. There was silence. Heavy, charged silence.
Then his hand slowly slid down your side, barely grazing the edge of your bump, as if checking if this momentโthis version of youโwas still the same person he fell for.
And you didnโt move. Didnโt pull away.
Instead, you looked right at him, pulse racing, body warm from the inside out.
You could still taste him on your lips. You could feel how he held backโhow badly he was restraining himself. And yet his words lingered in the air like a match held over an open flame.
What if I want you to be horny?
And the way he said it wasnโt dirty. It was desperate. Honest. Almost reverent. Like your desire your warmth still meant something to him. Like heโd been starved for your affection for years. And now, finally, he had a chance to touch you again.
Even if it hurt.
Even if it burned.
His arms wrapped around your thighs as he lifted you without hesitation, bridal-style but with something more urgent, more needy in his grip like he was trying to make up for all the years he spent without you. Your breath caught as your fingers instinctively clasped behind his neck, heart pounding in your ears.
He nudged the bedroom door open with his foot, barely looking as he crossed the room. The tension between your lips and his was magnetic every few seconds, heโd stop to kiss you again, deep and eager, like he couldnโt help himself. And you didnโt want him to. Not when your body ached for him. Not when your heart still whispered his name.
When your back met the mattress, his hands hovered. You expected him to fall apart the way he used to hands everywhere, mouth all over you but instead, he paused. He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing a hand over your belly gently, reverently.
โWait,โ he murmured, voice rough. โIs thereโฆ a way I have to hold you now? Because of the baby?โ
You blinked, touched. โChanโฆโ He looked at you like he was afraid of breaking you, like every inch of you now came with warning labels he didnโt know how to read.
You reached for his hand and brought it to your stomach, his palm wide and warm over the curve of your bump. โItโs okay,โ you said softly, guiding his hand. โThe doctorsโฆ they told me how to position during this. There are ways I can still be comfortable. And safe.โ
Chanโs eyes flicked up to yours, wide and searching. He let out a slow breath, like your words had cracked something open in him something hungry and barely restrained.
โYouโll guide me?โ he whispered, almost shy.
โIโll guide you,โ you nodded, voice breathy.
And you did.
You pulled him back over you slowly, carefully, adjusting until your body aligned with his. Until the pressure didnโt strain your back, and your belly had space. He followed your lead with gentle obedience, hands braced near your sides, careful not to collapse into you. But once he had you in the right position when he was sure you were comfortable, safeโฆ
He kissed you like he was starved again. Like he remembered every way your mouth had ever tasted. Every sound you used to make. Every night you used to fall asleep tangled in him, legs and lives intertwined.
And it wasnโt fast.
It wasnโt frenzied.
It was intimate. There was desperation in his lips, yes, but there was also worship. A silent apology. A yearning for something long lost and somehow found again between these sheets.
You held his face in your hands. He stroked your sides like you were sacred. And when he kissed you nextโlong and hard, while your legs tangled with hisโhe whispered into your mouth:
โI missed you every fucking day.โ
This wasnโt just hormones.
---
The room was dim and quiet now, the aftermath of everything still hanging like warmth in the airโsoft breathing, tangled limbs, your head tucked beneath Chanโs chin as his hand traced lazy circles on your back. The blanket was pulled just enough to keep the chill off your skin, and the steady thump of his heart beneath your cheek made you feel more whole than you had in months.
He shifted a little, brushing his lips against your hair before murmuring, โDo you, umโฆ need to pee or anything?โ
You groaned lightly against his chest. โGod, why are you like this?โ
He chuckled, deep and low. โIโm being responsible. Pregnancy rulebook 101: always pee after sex.โ You rolled your eyes but grinned. โYeah, yeahโฆ fine.โ You sat up with a small sigh, careful with your belly. โI actually do need to.โ
He watched you shuffle to the bathroom with the fondest smile messy hair, swollen lips, his old shirt barely hanging on your shoulders. You didnโt notice the way his gaze lingered like he was memorizing you again. Every curve, every movement. Every little piece of you that he had missed for years.
But a few seconds after the door closed behind you, he heard it.
Gag. Splash. The sick sound of your stomach revolting. He shot up immediately.
โY/N?โ he called, worry tightening his voice as he rushed to the door. He knocked lightly, then cracked it open without waiting. โBaby? You okay?โ
You were crouched awkwardly over the toilet, flushed and groaning as the last of your dinnerโand whatever was left of your stomachโpoured out of you.
โShit,โ he muttered, rushing to your side and holding your hair back gently with one hand while the other rubbed soothing circles across your back. โIs it me? Was I that bad?โ
You laughed weakly, coughing. โNo, idiot. I think itโs just the hormonesโฆโ
โSure itโs not my performance?โ he teased softly, offering a small cup of water to help you rinse. You bumped your shoulder against his tiredly, still smiling. โChan.โ
He wiped your face carefully with a damp towel, eyes full of worry and care. โLetโs get you changed, yeah?โ
He helped you stand, arms steady around you as you leaned into him for balance. He led you back to the room slowly, grabbing one of your oversized shirts and a fresh pair of shorts with practiced hands. You sat on the edge of the bed, letting him kneel to help you change. The whole thing was so domestic, so natural, it made your chest ache.
Once you were dressed and under the covers again, he hovered a little like maybe this was his cue to leave.
But you looked up at him, eyes soft. โYouโre not going home?โ He blinked, surprised. โI wasnโt planning to. Not unlessโฆ you want me to.โ
Your face broke into the gentlest, most relieved smile. โGood.โ He exhaled, chuckling quietly, and climbed into bed beside you again. You tucked yourself back into his chest like it was where youโd always belonged, your body molding into his without hesitation.
And as his arms wrapped around you and the steady hum of your breathing returned, Chan kissed your temple and whispered, โIโll stay as long as you need me.โ
---
The eighth month crept in like a quiet storm, suffocating, swollen, and full of tension neither of you could quite put into words.
Your apartment had changed since Chan started visiting more frequently. There were signs of him everywhere now. His sneakers by the door. His jacket thrown over the back of your couch. A half-empty mug of coffee on the windowsill because he liked to watch the rain with you. And baby stuff, so much baby stuff. Boxes from deliveries he insisted on signing for. A crib waiting to be assembled. Plush toys, tiny socks, bottles lined up neatly on the kitchen counter. A bottle warmer he argued with for twenty minutes. A pink onesie with โlittle loveโ written on it in cursiveโhis favorite.
And somehow, through the chaos, you and Chan had slipped into something soft again. Something unspoken but undeniable. Every visit, every shared meal, every doctor's appointment, every gentle kiss stolen in the hallway. It wasnโt labeled. It wasnโt official. But it was real.
It was safe.
And yet, the eighth month loomed like a ghost in the room.
You were exhausted body aching, emotions on a tightrope. Your hands were swollen. Your ankles throbbed. And sleep? Sleep was a luxury now. The kind of deep rest you only dreamed of while flipping your pillow to the cool side again at 2:00 a.m.
Tonight was no different. You were curled up on the couch in an oversized hoodie, one of Chanโs, with your legs propped up on a pillow, trying to breathe through the pressure in your lower back.
Chan, barefoot and in gray sweats, had just finished warming up the soup he made earlier. He carried the bowl over to you like it was holy, a dish towel wrapped around the base, spoon tucked in neatly.
โCareful,โ he murmured, settling beside you. โItโs hot.โ
You gave him a tired smile. โEverythingโs hot. Including me.โ He gave you a lookโhalf fond, half exasperated. โThatโs because youโre carrying a literal furnace.โ
You took a sip, and the warmth helped. The way he rubbed your back slowly, too, helped even more.
โIโm scared, Chan,โ you admitted suddenly, your voice a little quiet, a little cracked.
He froze for a beat.
โScared?โ he asked gently, shifting to face you more fully.
You nodded. โThe eighth month is where everything becomes real, right? One wrong movement. A contraction too early. I havenโt slept in days. What if she comes early? What if Iโwhat if I donโt make it through delivery?โ
His brows furrowed deeply. He took the bowl from your hands and set it aside, then held your face in his palms.
โHeyโฆ look at me.โ His thumbs brushed under your eyes. โYouโre doing so good. Youโve been so strong. And I swear to you, Iโm not going anywhere. Iโm here for all of it. Every second.โ
Your lip trembled. โI know. I know youโre here, itโs justโฆ Iโve been doing this alone for so long.โ
โI know,โ he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours. โBut not anymore.โ You stayed like that for a long moment, breathing in sync, his hands cupping your cheeks like he was anchoring you to this moment. To him.
Eventually, you felt his fingers slide to your swollen belly. He rubbed slow circles, then leaned down to kiss the stretched skin just above your belly button. โSheโs almost here,โ he murmured, more to her than to you. โAnd when she comes, sheโs gonna know sheโs loved. So loved.โ
Your hand slid into his hair, tugging softly. โYouโre really staying for this, huh?โ
He looked up, a little grin forming. โI already stayed for the swollen ankles and the mood swings. I think Iโm in it for the long haul.โ
You snorted, tears still in your eyes. โDonโt tempt me.โ
He leaned up and kissed you softly. A promise sealed with lips and warmth. You curled into his side again, and for the first time in weeks, your body let go of the tension.
The doctorโs office was coldโbut not unkind. The type of sterile that felt softened by the soft pastels of the wallpaper and the framed photos of babies lining the hallway. The kind of place that tried to say we know this is scary, but weโre here with you.
You were sitting up on the padded examination bed, belly exposed, gel still cool on your skin after the ultrasound. Chan was beside you, perched on a little stool, his hand never leaving yoursโnot once. His thumb ran idle strokes over your knuckles as the monitor beside you faded to black.
โSheโs measuring healthy,โ the doctor said with a warm smile, peeling off her gloves. โHeartbeatโs steady. Sheโs already in position for delivery, which is excellent.โ
You exhaled a breath you didnโt realize you were holding. Chan squeezed your hand once, proud and silent.
โIโll give you two a moment,โ the doctor added, grabbing the printed sonogram photo and placing it gently on the tray. โOhโand keep those feet elevated when you can. The swelling will get worse before it gets better.โ
You gave her a tired nod, and she left with the soft click of the door.
Chan stayed still. Then slowly, carefully, he let go of your hand and leaned toward your belly. His gaze flicked up to yours, questioning.
You smiled, nodding. โYou can talk to herโฆ if you want.โ
His eyes softened immediately. He turned his stool to face you fully and lowered his face toward your belly like he was bowing to something sacred. He pressed a hand to your skin first, large, warm, grounding.
โHey,โ he whispered, voice lower than usual. โItโs me. Again.โ
You watched his expression melt into something fragile and open. Something he rarely let anyone see.
โYour momโs been doing such a good job carrying you. Youโre already lucky and you donโt even know it yet.โ He chuckled softly. โBut youโll know soon enough. Youโll see how strong she isโฆ how beautifulโฆ how loud she can get when she doesnโt get her snacks on time.โ
You giggled, and he paused just to smile at the sound.
He leaned closer. His lips brushed against your belly, lingering.
โIโm gonna be here, okay?โ he murmured. โIโm gonna be here when you come out. Iโll hold you. Iโll feed you. Iโll sing to you if youโre crying even though I canโt sing to save my life.โ
You choked on a sob-laugh, blinking back tears.
โCan Iโฆโ you said, voice watery, โcan I ask your opinion on something?โ He looked up immediately. โAnything.โ You reached for your bag beside the bed and pulled out a small notepad, dog-eared, pen marks all over it. You flipped to a page labeled Names, and handed it to him shyly.
โIโve been trying to decide. You donโt have to pick or anything, but I justโฆ I wanted to know what you think.โ He took the notepad like it was something delicate, and scanned the list slowly.
Luna.
Arielle.
Eden.
Mina.
Soraya.
Noa.
Mae.
Seren.
Elia.
Rhea.
โMmโฆโ He paused at one. โElia.โ
You looked up. โYeah?โ
He nodded, slow and thoughtful. โItโs soft. But strong. It feels likeโฆ like the kind of name youโd whisper when youโre holding something small and new.โ
You smiled, the warmth rushing through your chest. โThatโs the one I kept going back to too.โ
โElia,โ he repeated, like he was testing it. โElia, baby, are you hungry? Elia, come here. Elia, donโt put that in your mouthโโ You burst into laughter, and Chan grinned, proud of himself.
Then he looked up at you again, serious now. โYou want that to be her name?โ
You took a breath. And nodded.
โElia,โ you said, laying a hand over your belly again. โElia, sweetheart, youโve got one hell of a name. And a hell of a father figure, too.โ
Chan blinked, surprised by your wordingโbut then he smiled. Not correcting it. Not clarifying. Just taking it in. He looked at your belly one more time.
โElia it is.โ
And in that quiet moment, in a pale doctorโs room filled with echoes of tiny heartbeats and unspoken hope, her name settled between youโsoft and certain as love.
---
It was one of those nights that felt like borrowed peace.
The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the refrigerator and the low lull of the TV youโd forgotten to turn off. Dinner had gone smoothly, Chan had made your favorite pasta, even though you barely touched it because your stomach felt tight. The ninth month had been heavier than you expected, literally and emotionally. But Chan had kept the house in order, rubbed your swollen feet, and massaged your back every time you whimpered in your sleep.
Now, he was in the kitchen, quietly wiping down the counters, putting the leftover baby books in a neat pile near the toy stand. Your hospital bag was packed and sitting near the doorโjust in case. Youโd joked earlier that Elia was too comfortable to come out, that sheโd probably wait until 42 weeks just to be dramatic.
Chan laughed at that. โShe gets it from you.โ
He had just bent over to pick up one of the rattles when he heard it.
Your gasp. It wasnโt loud. Not the kind of sound heโd normally panic over. But it was sharp, and wet, and carried the weight of something real. Something sudden.
โChanโฆ?โ your voice wobbled from the hallway, where you had been slowly waddling to the bathroom.
He dropped the rattle instantly and was at your side within seconds.
Your legs were trembling slightly, your hand braced on the wall. A puddle was spreading beneath your feet, glistening on the hardwood, soaking through your pajama pants. Your breathing was shallow and fast.
You looked up at him with wide, glassy eyes.
โMy water broke.โ
Chan froze for a millisecondโbut only a millisecondโthen sprang into action.
โOkay, okay. Okay.โ He steadied you with one arm. โIs it just the fluid orโare you feeling anything else?โ
And then you grimaced, this deep, visceral twitch of your whole body as your stomach tightened into a rock-hard knot. You squeezed his forearm tight, gasping again.
โContraction,โ you hissed. โThat was aโfuck, that was a real one.โ
He didnโt let go. Not once.
โIโve got you,โ he said, gently lowering you into the nearest chair. โTheyโre coming fast, arenโt they?โ
You nodded, squeezing your thighs together, bracing yourself. โItโs not like before,โ you panted. โThese are closeโฆ and tight. And low. Sheโsโฆ sheโs low, Chan.โ
He wiped your forehead with the sleeve of his hoodie and kissed your temple.
โOkay. Listen to me. Iโm gonna grab the hospital bag and call the OB. You just breathe like we practiced. Slow. In through your noseโฆโ
โโฆout through my mouth,โ you whispered, trying to keep up. Your hands trembled against your belly.
Chan flew into motion he grabbed your bag, your folder of medical documents, his keys, your slippers and dialed the hospital. He explained everything clearly, quickly, as though he had rehearsed this moment. Because he had.
When he came back into the room, you were gripping the sides of the chair, eyes clenched shut, groaning low in your throat.
โAnother one?โ he asked, kneeling in front of you. You nodded, and tears were slipping down your cheeks now.
โTheyโre really close together now, Chan. Likeโฆ maybe three minutes. I donโt think I have time for the bath, orโfuck, I donโt think I have time for anything.โ
Chanโs face stayed calm, but his heart was thudding. โOkay. Thatโs okay. Weโre going right now. Can you stand?โ
You nodded, but shakily.
He helped you to your feet, supporting your full weight as another cramp seized through you and your knees buckled slightly.
โShhh, Iโve got you,โ he murmured, pressing a steadying kiss to your temple. โYouโre doing so good, baby. Weโre gonna meet her tonight.โ
You sobbed into his chest, but from everything.
The contractions were wild nowโsharp, clenching, tugging pressure that made your whole body fold in on itself. You could feel her moving down, heavy and certain. There was no turning back. No time to think.
Just Chan, the hallway, the midnight rush, and the knowing:
This is it.
Your baby was coming.
The drive to the hospital was a blur of traffic lights and shallow breathing.
Chan kept one hand on the wheel, the other holding yours. You were reclined in the passenger seat, body tense, teeth clenched as each contraction ripped through you like a sudden wave, crashing hard and fast before ebbing away.
"You're doing so good," he murmured again and again, thumb stroking your knuckles. โAlmost there, sweetheart. I promise.โ
You could barely speak through the pain, but you nodded, gripping his hand like a lifeline, your eyes fluttering shut with each spasm in your belly. The seat beneath you was soaked through from your water breaking, but you didnโt care. Time was unraveling.
By the time you reached the hospital, you could hardly stand. Chan parked in emergency drop-off, half-dragged, half-carried you into the maternity ward, yelling for help as nurses rushed toward you with a wheelchair.
โSheโs nine monthsโher water broke at homeโcontractions are two minutes apart, maybe less!โ
They rushed you through intake. Lights flashed overhead. You hissed with each jolt of the wheelchair, your body screaming, breath ragged.
Chan never let go. Once inside the labor and delivery suite, it all moved fast. Nurses pulled your clothes off as you cried and moaned through another contraction. Monitors were strapped to your belly. A quick cervical check had the nurseโs eyebrows shooting up.
โSheโs already at eight centimeters,โ she said urgently. โSheโs close.โ
You let out a panicked whimper, and Chan was at your head in an instant, brushing your hair from your face, kissing your forehead with trembling lips. His voice was low and soothing, holding you together as the doctor arrived and a nurse inserted the IV.
โI donโt know if I can do this,โ you panted. โIt hurts so much, Chan.โ
โYou can,โ he whispered, pressing your hand to his chest so you could feel his heartbeat. โYou already are. Youโre stronger than anyone Iโve ever known.โ The pressure was unbearable. The urge to push was coming hard now, and you started sobbing uncontrollably as another contraction hit like a freight train.
The doctor snapped on gloves. โOkay, mom, on the next one, youโre going to push.โ
Chan moved beside you, gripping your hand tight. โYouโre not alone, okay? Iโm right here. Iโm not going anywhere.โ
You nodded, teeth clenched. A contraction. The nurse counted. โOne, two, threeโpush!โ
You screamed, body arching, eyes wild. Every nerve in your body was on fire.
"Again!" the nurse called. You pushed again, gasping and trembling.
โYouโre doing amazing,โ Chan whispered. โSheโs almost here. Just a little more.โ The burn was white-hot. You bore down, crying out, legs shaking, hands clawing at the sheets. And thenโ
โI see the head!โ the doctor said, voice calm but firm.
You gave another desperate push, crying out.
A sharp cry.
Sharp, shrill, beautiful. Your body collapsed into the bed as Elia took her first breath. Your daughter. Your baby. The doctor lifted her, slippery and pink and screaming with the strength of a storm.
โSheโs here,โ Chan whispered, tears already falling from his eyes. โSheโs really here.โ
Chan kissed your forehead, your cheeks, your damp hair, whispering over and over, โYou did it. You did so good. Iโm so proud of you.โ
---
The room was warm and quiet now, lit only by the soft yellow glow of the overhead light above the hospital bed. After the chaos, after the sweat and shaking and painโthere was just calm.
You were propped up, body aching but blanketed in that post-labor haze of endorphins and awe. The nurse had taken Elia to clean her, weigh her, check her vitals. It felt like hours, though it had only been minutes. And now she was back.
Swaddled tight in a soft cream blanket, her tiny face peeking out, a white hat snug on her head. A nurse gently placed her into your arms again.
โHereโs your daughter,โ she whispered with a smile. โNice and healthy.โ
Your arms cradled her instinctively. Your fingers trembled as they adjusted the folds of her blanket, your thumb smoothing over her cheek. Her skin was so soft so impossibly new. Her eyes fluttered open just a little, those long lashes blinking at the world.
You leaned in close and whispered, breath catching in your throat. โHi, my beautiful girl,โ you said softly. โHi, Eliaโฆ Itโs me. Your momma.โ
Chan stood at the side of the bed, silent, as though the entire world was holding its breath.
โIโm sorry your real dad was too much of a wuss to be here for this,โ you murmured, voice quiet but strong as you gazed at Elia. โBut youโve already got someone better than him. Your other fatherโฆ heโs so much more than he ever was.โ
Chanโs breath hitched.
You looked up and met his eyes.
โFather?โ he repeated, his voice barely a whisper, like he didnโt dare trust it.
You gave him a small, tearful smile. โIf thatโs okay with you.โ For a moment, he didnโt speak. His jaw clenched, and then trembled. He blinked hardโand then the tears fell, quiet but sure.
โI donโt mind,โ he said softly, voice cracking. โIโd love that. Iโd love her.โ
You reached out and gently held her out to him. โDo you want to hold her?โ
His hands were shaking as he nodded, stepping forward, arms instinctively opening. You guided her into them, and he received her like something sacred, his entire world slowing as she settled against his chest.
She was so small in his armsโso fragile. But his hold was strong, steady, instinctive.
โHi, baby,โ he whispered, rocking her gently. โHi, darlingโฆ itโs me. Daddy.โ
You watched him. The way he looked down at her like she was the most perfect thing heโd ever seen. The way his lips quivered as he smiled, as though he was holding in both a laugh and a sob. And as he cradled her, whispering gentle promises, you couldnโt look away.
You looked at him the way you had once looked at him long ago. The way you used to when everything was still newโwhen love still clung to your bones like light.
But thisโฆ this was deeper.
This was the man who had stayed. Who had chosen you again and again. Who was here now holding your daughter like she was his entire world. You smiled through the blur of tears, voice trembling as you reached over and touched his arm.
He looked at you, and for a heartbeat, nothing else existed but the three of you.
---
It had been weeks after Elia was born when you finally sat across from your divorce attorney in a quiet office downtown, the weight of motherhood and heartbreak settling in your bones like a second skin. You wore soft clothes and Elia was nestled in a carrier beside you, sleeping peacefully blissfully unaware of the legal unthreading taking place around her.
Your now-ex hadnโt contested anything. After the affair, after his selfish absences and the gutting silence that came when you cried alone in your shared bed he didnโt even show up to the final meeting.
You remembered holding the pen in your hand, staring down at the line that needed your signature. And with Eliaโs breath steady beside you, and memories of Chan rocking her in the hospital fresh in your mind, you pressed the pen to the page and signed.
A quiet breath escaped your lips.
Freedom.
It wasnโt a moment of joy, but of reclamation. Of choosing peace over the pain you had carried too long. Of making roomโfor your child, for yourself... and for whatever could blossom in the ruins.
---
Three Years Later
Elia's tiny hands clutched a cookie as she sat on her grandpaโs lap, giggling as he made silly faces with whipped cream. Your mother buzzed around the kitchen like always, preparing tea and humming softly to herself. The house smelled like rosemary and old wood, full of warmth and memories.
And in the living room there you were. Sitting with Chan on the floor, your fingers brushing over fabric samples, color swatches, and a soft notebook labeled "Re-Wedding Plans."
The word made you both laugh every time.
Chan looked relaxed his back leaned against the sofa, long legs stretched out, one hand resting behind your back like muscle memory. He had flour on his black t-shirt, a souvenir from baking cookies with Elia earlier.
Your daughter squealed and ran into the room just then, throwing her little arms around your neck and squishing cookie crumbs into your shirt.
โMommy, grandpa said I can be the flower princess!โ
You laughed, kissing the top of her head. โOf course you can, baby.โ Chan chuckled, brushing her hair out of her eyes. โYouโll be the prettiest flower princess anyoneโs ever seen.โ
Eliaโs eyes lit up. โCan I throw real flowers?!โ
โAll the flowers you want,โ you whispered. She ran back out of the room, leaving a trail of glitter and joy behind her.
And then it was quiet again. You and Chan exchanged a glance, warm, familiar, full of a thousand unspoken things. โI never imagined this,โ you said softly, fingers grazing over a pale pink ribbon sample. โNot after everything.โ He reached over, took your hand, and laced your fingers with his.
โI did,โ he said. โNot right awayโฆ but when I held her that night. When you said I was her father.โ
You turned to him, heart full, eyes glossing with unshed tears.
โYou are,โ you said, voice thick. โYouโve been more of a father than anyone ever could be.โ He leaned in and kissed your forehead. โAnd I want to be more than that againโฆ if youโll still have me.โ
You pulled back just enough to look at him, fingers tightening around his.
โIโm planning this whole re-wedding, arenโt I?โ
He grinned. You both turned your heads toward the sound of your mother calling from the kitchen. โDo you want the lemon glaze on the cake again or something different?โ
โLemon!โ Chan and Elia both shouted from opposite ends of the house.
You laughed, resting your head against his shoulder.
A different kind of love had grown here one watered by pain, forgiveness, and time. And now it was blooming in the most unexpected place: your parentsโ living room, with your daughter dancing in circles and the scent of warm cookies in the air.
The wedding was small, heartfelt, and filled with the kind of intimacy only time and healing could create.
Elia stood proudly as the flower princess in her sparkling pink dress, throwing petals with wild joy before running to Chan at the altar and clinging to his leg. She was just as much a part of the ceremony as the vows themselves. And when you said โI doโ, your voice didnโt shake. Because you knew this was a beginningโnot from scratch, but from growth.
That night, after the reception, after Elia had been tucked into her new bed in the room Chan painted himself, after your mother kissed your cheeks and whispered โyouโre glowing, babyโ, the house was finally still.
It was just the two of you.
Newlyweds.
You were in your shared bedroom now, the soft yellow lamplight casting a glow across your white slip dress, the air filled with traces of your perfume and fresh linen. Chan came out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a shirt, hair damp from the shower, his eyes locking with yours like magnets drawn back to each other after years of waiting.
You walked toward him, slowly, and his arms found your waist like instinct.
โYouโre my wife,โ he murmured, forehead to yours, voice so full of wonder you could cry.
โAnd youโre my husband,โ you whispered back, breath catching in your throat as he kissed you, tender but deep, like heโd been waiting since forever. The kisses turned heavier as he guided you toward the bed, hands gentle but hungry. The way he held you was reverent, touching you like you were both porcelain and fire. Your bodies fit together like a memory remembered. You gasped softly when he pushed your dress aside, your skin burning where his fingers traced.
Then, just as you arched into him, ready to welcome him with every aching, married fiber of your being, a sharp cry pierced the quiet.
Elia.
You both froze. Chan blinked, still hovering above you, his lips slightly parted.
โSheโs crying,โ you whispered, breathless.
Chan gave a breathy laugh full of disbelief and frustration, gently lowering his forehead to your shoulder. โOf course she is.โ You kissed his temple and smiled. โParenthood.โ
With a groan and a soft kiss to your chest, he sat up. โIโll get her.โ
You pulled on a robe while Chan padded into her room. A few moments passed before he returned, Elia clinging sleepily to his chest, thumb in her mouth and tears drying on her cheeks.
โShe had a nightmare,โ he murmured.
โShe okay?โ
โShe said a spider tried to eat her juice box.โ
You snorted and opened your arms. โCome here, sweetheart.โ Chan laid her between you both. She snuggled close to you, half-asleep again, one arm reaching blindly for Chan. He curled up on her other side, and the three of you formed a warm little cocoon.
A pause.
Then Chan whispered with a grin, โWe will finish what we started.โ You chuckled under your breath. โEventually.โ
โDonโt test me,โ he teased. โIโm very patient... but not that patient.โ You pressed a kiss to Eliaโs hair and reached over her to touch his cheek.
โThen weโll make it worth the wait.โ
Chan smiled.
And in the stillness, with your daughter safe between you and love settling around you like soft blankets, it felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
The past had burned.
But the future?
The future was golden.
Purple means I can't see that I've tagged you (cause I honestly don't understand why it's this much)
๐๏ธย Summary: A storm puts a damper on your travel plans - but a chance encounter with a handsome mystery stranger could just be the thing you need to turn your bad luck around.
๐ Genre: Fluff, Smut
โ ๏ธ Chapter Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (remember , kids - no glove, no love!),ย profanity
๐ค Word count: ~4.8K
โ๏ธ Notes: I am so deep in my missing Min Yoongi hours, the way that I cling to each and every crumb we get of him is ridiculous. This came out fast and furious inspired in large part by LA streetwear Yoongi - all we got were like 3 glimpses but that was honestly more than enough to get my creative energy going lol! Thank you @ktownshizzle for being my cheerleader and encouraging me along the way.ย Thank you for beta-ing. And thank you for being such an inspirational writer and amazing motivator.ย This oneโs for you, K. ๐
Your footsteps are muffled against the carpet as you trudge down the hallway, scanning the signs and doors for your room number.ย Double checking the digits on the keycard envelope with the numbers on the door you had stopped in front of, you scan your card against the reader. The expected click and whirring noise confirms its acceptance as you turn the handle and with a weary sigh, enter the hotel room, reflexively taking a look at the interior.ย A single queen-sized bed, pristine and perfect, sheets smooth across the surface with not a wrinkle to be seen.ย Wall mounted flat screen TV across from that.ย Large floor to ceiling windows opposite the entrance.ย Leaving your rolling carry-on and Birkin bag next to the dresser, you make your way over to the windows, pulling the navy blue drapesย back to assess the view outside.ย As if on cue, a blinding flash of lightning greets you.ย You wince, just as a large rumble of thunder reverberates not long after.ย ย
At least the airline had played it safe.ย They werenโt kidding when they announced the weather related cancellation over the PA system at the airport just over an hour earlier. It had been an agonizingly long day for you, starting with an early meeting for your companyโs latest round of contract negotiations.ย Theyโd taken far longer than anticipated, the client wanting to review and re-run the numbers.ย You had known scheduling your flight that same evening was a risk, but fortunately they had given it their blessing and you had made it to the airport with a couple hours to spare.ย ย
Not that it had mattered.ย Youโd checked in for your flight, managed to grab a bite to eat, and were waiting at the gate when the announcement came through.ย The winds had changed (quite literally), and a massive thunderstorm that was originally predicted to move north had suddenly switched directions causing flights to be cancelled left and right - including yours.ย ย
The poor gate agents had been overwhelmed with frustrated passengers upset about their travel plans gone awry, but then word had come through that they would be providing compensation and a limited number of hotel / meal vouchers to those passengers who chose to postpone their travels to the following day.ย You had been one of the lucky few to snag those coveted vouchers, and so here you were.ย Leaning against the window, you savor the feeling of the cool glass against your skin, the subtle vibrations of the rain pelting the pane from the other side.ย ย
You should just change out of your professional attire and go to bed, but the residual tension from earlier in the day has you feeling anything but relaxed, and you know at this point sleep will be elusive. Maybe what you need is a stiff drink.ย Youโd noticed a bar downstairs when you were checking inโฆmight not be a bad idea.ย ย
**********
To your pleasant surprise, you find the restaurant relatively empty for this time of night. The bartender had made light, polite conversation with you, nothing past the usual niceties, and now stands at the other end of the counter, wiping down a glass and talking to one of his colleagues.ย ย
There are currently only two other people at the bar - an older couple two seats down to your left enjoying a meal of what appeared to be some sort of risotto dish (for her) and chicken wings (for him).ย Youโd thought given the storm and number of stranded travelers it would be busier hereโฆ but honestly you like it better this way. Quiet, and unbothered, you are mulling over whether to order something to eat for yourself, when you feel another presence approach the bar.
ย You look to your right and a familiar looking younger man takes the seat on the far end - backwards LA Dodgers cap, black utility blouson jacket, vintage Red Hot Chili Peppers T shirt, and light denim baggy jeans, belted casually around his waist. This newcomer stands out - the epitome of streetwear among a small group of business casual; though you suppose it doesnโt really matter - this is a hotel bar, privy to all sorts of travelers and individuals from all walks of life.ย If it had been a gastropub or a michelin establishment the expectations might have been a bit different, but here, in this hotel just a few kilometers from the airportโฆ anything goes.
Something about him keeps drawing your attention back to the strikingly familiar stranger. You try desperately not to make it too obvious but the magnetic pull is too strong. Your mind is racing, trying to place himโฆ why does he look so familiar? Have you met before?ย Where have you seen -ย
All at once it hits you and your mouth goes dry in a flash of panic - you grab your phone, needing to confirm that you werenโt going crazy.ย There was no possible way he was here, right now, in the same city, the same hotel, the same room as you.ย THE Suga from BTS.ย Min Yoongi.ย Agust D.ย There was just no fucking way.ย
Wait - so then where are the other members?ย Any security?ย Bodyguards?ย You look around the establishment, but as you had initially assessed - other than the few restaurant staff, and the couple next to you, the famous rapper / producer / singer / songwriter is the only one of his group here.ย ย ย
You steal another glance in his direction only to find him gazing right back at you, a playful sparkle in his eyes. The corner of his lips lift slightly into a small subtle smirk, and you quickly avert your gaze, heat prickling your skin at the thrill of being caught looking.ย You stare instead at the picture on your phone.ย Your bias, your crushโฆand here he was, at the same hotel, in the same room, sitting in the same bar as you.ย Be cool, manโฆ.be cool.ย You can feel the nerves taking hold, anticipation and anxiety simmering below the surface.ย You force yourself to take a deep calming breath.ย You got this.ย No one else is here, maybe it would be okay if you just approach and smiled and introd-
โHere you go, miss,โ the bartender interjects, replacing your now empty gin and tonic with another full one.ย ย
Your brows furrow in confusion as your brain struggles to reset itself to the present.ย โWait - but I didnโtโฆโ
โFrom the gentleman on the end.โ he nods in Yoongiโs direction.ย
You look up and the man of the hour is once again glancing your way, that cocky grin unmistakable now. He lifts his glass of amber liquid in your direction and you find yourself nodding back in acknowledgement, raising your own glass back at him.ย Not even a moment later you mentally say fuck it and grab your phone and wristlet, making your way towards him with your drink.
You adjust your long button down dress as you take the seat next to him.ย Your outfit is professional enough for a corporate meeting, comfortable enough for air travel, and alluring enough for a flirtatious encounter with an attractive stranger.ย The slit sits tantalizing on your thigh as you cross your legs demurely, offering just the right amount of skin.ย โI thought it would be rude of me not to come over and thank you properly for the drink.โย
He glances down at his drink, then back to you, his eyes raking over you with zero shame. โMy pleasure. To be honest - and please donโt take this the wrong way - it kind of looked like you needed it.โย
You canโt help the laugh that escapes your throat. โThat obvious?โ You shake your head, โYouโre not wrong though. Itโs been a helluva day.โย
โLemme guess. That storm outside has something to do with it?โ
โYour guess would be correct. I donโt think anyoneโs flying out of here until at least tomorrow morning.โ
As if to prove your point, a distant rumble of thunder resonates through the bar area and you hear the rain continuing its assault on the windows and becoming markedly louder as the storm outside picks up in intensity.ย
You sit in silence for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. Do you call him out on his celebrity status? You certainly donโt want to make a scene or make him feel uncomfortable. You figure easing into it slowly is the best approach.
โSo what brings you into town?โ You dip your toes in the water cautiously, testing it out to see his response, praying that he doesnโt shut you down.ย โWorking on solo activities?โย
His eyes meet yours and he scans them carefully, gauging the recognition behind them, as if trying to assess for any potential threats, eventually accepting that you mean no harm. โSolo activities. Yeah, you could say that.โย He hesitates a moment, then smiles, a hint of cockiness playing on his lips.ย โSo I take itโฆ..you know BTS?โ
You laugh at his trademark line, โYes, I do.โ
He hums in agreement.ย โSo, you know who I am.ย Itโs only fair that I know you.โย
You oblige him and introduce yourself, feeling a warmth creep up your spine at the way his deep voice echoes your name. You engage in casual small talk - what you do for work, your adventures at the airport today, and he tells you a little about what heโs been up to (a photoshoot for a highly reputable skincare line to be featured as part of an advertorial in an upcoming issue of Dazed, followed by an appearance at the Samsung Unpacked event in Seoul the following week).ย You marvel at the amount of traveling he does and how exhausting it must be.ย He merely shrugs - par for the course at this point.ย ย
โIโll bet you canโt wait to get home after all the chaos of today,โ he comments, sipping his drink.ย โSounds like quite the adventure.โ
โI was hoping to get home tonight, but obviously the weather had other plans,โ you gesture at the floor to ceiling windows beside the bar, the lights of the city distorted and barely visible through the rain traversing haphazard paths down the outside of the pane.
โA gorgeous woman like you must have someone waiting for you at homeโฆโ. His eyes flit to yours, curious, assessing the situation.
Jesus Christ - handsome and smooth as fuck.ย Damn, Min Yoongiโs got game. You are pleasantly taken aback by his flirtatious query, not that you havenโt been circling the issue like two birds engaged in a delicate mating dance for the last hour.ย You match his gaze, your foot gently nudging the inside of his calf, once again testing the waters to gauge his reaction: โDoes it matter?โย
He shakes his head, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.ย โI suppose notโฆI guess what happens during a freak thunderstorm where travelers are stranded in a random hotel stays in said random hotel.โย
You look at him incredulously, โyou know thatโs not how the saying goes... like not even a little bit.โ
โSo then how does it go?โ
Your foot makes its way higher still, and you notice him shift in his seat, his legs parting ever so slightly.ย โWell... I could invite you up and we could find out.โย
*************
The tension on the way up to your room is palpable.ย It takes every ounce of your will power not to jump him right there in the elevator.ย Despite the fact that the two of you are the only ones in the car, he silently insists on standing right next to you, his fingers gently brushing against yours, every touch sending heated sparks right through your veins all the way to your core.ย The only thing holding you back from pouncing on him and ravaging every inch of his body right then and there is the innocuous red blinking light marking the presence of the security camera in the top right corner of the elevator - you most certainly do not want your business splashed across every tabloid in the country for indecent exposure (youโre pretty sure he doesnโt, either).
โ7th Floor,โ the automated female voice announces with a โdingโ as the doors open, and you step out and make your way towards your room.ย As you fumble in your purse for your keycard, your hands trembling, you feel him press up behind you, the warmth of his body like fire on your already heated skin. His hands come around to guide yours, his breath gentle on your neck.ย ย
You breath hitches as the door clicks and whirrs, and not a moment sooner than heโs ushered you in that he spins you around to pin you against the closed door, his mouth finding yours hungrily.ย The connection is immediately electric, frenzied.ย Your keycard and purse fall from your fingers, landing somewhere you donโt know and frankly, donโt care.ย Your hands fly up, knocking the baseball cap off of his head, fingers tugging at his soft black hair, eliciting a soft groan from him that sends a rush of wetness to your panties - you can already tell they are beyond ruined.ย
โTell me to stop,โ he gasps, his lips nipping at your jaw, then your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin there - biting gently and making you hiss, then soothing it with the warmth of his tongue. His hands have wandered from their initial death grip on your waist, one reaching down slowly to find your ass and give it a firm squeeze while the other hand slides up to cup the back of your neck.ย
A feeble whimper escapes your lips begging him for the exact opposite of what he asked for as you grind against him, feeling his hardness even through his jeans.ย
โDonโt stop, please donโt fucking stop.โย Youโre gripping the lapel of his jacket in desperation, fumbling to push it past his shoulders.ย He lets go of you long enough to take it off the rest of the way and toss it haphazardly to the side.ย
His mouth is relentless with its attention on your neck, and your head tilts back to allow for easier access. Itโs so much but also not enough. You need more of him. Need to see more, feel more, touch more. Your hands grip his biceps, strong and firm, seeking something to ground you and reassure yourself that this is, in fact, real.ย ย
Fingers race against clothing and before you know it your dress is halfway unbuttoned and pooled around your hips.ย His lips mouth at one breast over your bra, his large hands fondling, squeezing the other.ย ย
He breaks the kiss to look at you again, a slow smirk playing on his lips and before you can open your mouth to even attempt to protest, he's dropped to his knees in front of you, bunching your skirt up around your waist and pulling your panties down.ย How he manages to do both simultaneously you're not sure, but you barely have time to register that thought because the next thing you know you can feel his warm breath between your legs as his mouth places delicate, open mouth kisses on your thighs, nipping playfully until he reaches your center, his tongue flattening to trace across your slit.ย You gasp at the welcome sensation and your head falls against the wall with a dull THUD, prompting a reflexive "ow!" to escape your lips.
He pulls back for a moment. "Are you okay?"ย ย
"Fuck, yes, Jesus don't stop..." you admonish him breathlessly.ย ย
Obligingly, he dives back in between your legs, this time lifting your right leg so that it rests over his shoulder, giving him better access to your sex.ย His finger strokes your folds, tracing the wetness there, then slipping in as his tongue continues licking, his lips finding your clit and latching, sucking, eliciting a moan from your lips. God they really werenโt kidding about that tongue technology.ย Storm or no storm, this man was well on his way to taking you to Hong Kong, first class all the way.ย
Within minutes he's added another finger inside of you, his tongue and lips continuing their assault on your most sensitive parts. ย You struggle to grab something, anything, anything at all next to you to brace yourself for what is imminent. You manage to bury one hand in Yoongiโs hair, the other flat against the wall behind you, clawing at it in vain as you groan, "Yoongi, please...just like...that..I'm...I'm almost...holy FUCK a little mo-OH!" A cross between a squeal and a scream fills the room as your legs shudder and you thank your lucky stars you have one leg propped up on Yoongiโs broad shoulder to support you - you're sure you would have collapsed otherwise.ย He laps up all of your juices and then gently moves your leg from his shoulder, grinning as he stands up to kiss you deeply.ย You wobble, slightly unsteady, and moan at the taste of yourself on his lips.ย
"You good?" he whispers, his trademark smirk playing on his lips.
"More than good," you pant, smiling as you catch your breath.ย "But you're not..." you protest with a frown, cupping his hardness through his jeans.ย He inhales sharply as his lips forge a trail down your jaw, towards your neck. ย "Let me take care of you." You offer as you start to lower yourself to your knees but he stops you with a shake of his head, his grip firm on your arms.ย ย ย ย
โI wonโt last - I need to be inside you.โย Your pussy is still quivering with the aftershocks but painfully empty - you don't have to be told twice. ย Within seconds youโve unbuttoned and shoved his pants and his boxers halfway down his thighs - the urgency and desperation of the moment allowing only that much -ย just before raising your leg again.ย You fumble for a moment, then manage to prop it upon the bench next to you for leverage, allowing him better access to your sex.ย He rubs the head of his cock against your folds, gathering the wetness from them and drawing a shaky sigh from you in the process, before sliding inside of you, both of you groaning at the sensation.ย ย
"Yoongi..." you breathe.ย "Please..."
"Fuck baby," he groans against your ear, pulling out slowly before thrusting back in, this time harder than before. "So tight for me.ย You feel so fucking unreal."ย
"All for you," you reply breathlessly.ย ย
His left hand finds your breast, his hand kneading it as his mouth latches onto the skin between your neck and your shoulder.ย ย
You drape one arm around his neck for support, the other reaching down between your throbbing bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it.ย The familiar knot is back, building in your stomach; you clench your toes in anticipation.ย "Yoongi...almost...so close."
"Right there with you," he pants, the rhythm of his hips never wavering.ย Within seconds you feel your second orgasm of the night and with it, your walls pulsing around his cock - driving him over the edge as well.ย His hips stutter, falter, his thrusts becoming sloppy and jerky as he finishes inside of you.ย Bringing his hands up to cup your chin, kissing you softly before resting his forehead against yours, catching his breath.ย You slowly lower your leg to the ground, wobbling slightly.ย
"You okay?"ย he asks, his hands on your hips, steadying you.ย You nod, then look down and notice that heโs still hard.ย โYouโre stillโฆโ
He chuckles.ย โWhat can I sayโฆ itโs been awhile.โ
Your eyebrows dart up in surprise.ย โYou?ย Min Yoongi?ย BTS Suga?โย You click your tongue disapprovingly.โTsk tsk tsk. Well we canโt have that, can we?โย ย
You push him gently. He stumbles backwards, his pants still bunched around his thighs.ย Holding his gaze, you slip your dress off the rest of the way, letting it pool at your feet.ย His eyes widen, taking in the sight of you in your black lace bra, the cups sheer and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, while the matching black bottoms were an equally poor excuse for a pair of panties. Stepping out of the dress you make your way over to the queen-sized bed in the center of the room - a coy glance over your shoulder as you reach around back and unclasp your bra, letting that fall as well.ย ย
He swallows audibly as he watches you next shimmy out of the lace panties.ย โYou coming?โ you ask, before turning back to climb on top of the bed.ย ย
โFUCK yeah I am.ย In more ways than oneโฆโ Sure enough, his erection is now most definitely back in full force.ย In record time his pants and boxers have been shed, and heโs whipped his shirt off, his chest broad, toned, defined.ย He quickly takes his position on top of you on the bed, the heat of his body pressed up against you, his cock sliding easily through your wet folds.ย You gasp as it grazes your clit in just the right way.ย ย
โFuck,โ you arch your back, needing to be closer still.ย How is this possible, youโd already come twiceโฆbut a third?ย Do you even have it in you? Fucking hell though this was Min Yoongi - it seems that anything is possible.ย ย
He trails his way up your body with his mouth, and then swiftly slides into you, easier this time but still tight - your walls clinging to him like a vise.ย His thrusts come slow at first, savoring the feeling, wanting so much to make this last for as long as possible.ย His hips stutter, his ass tensing under your fingers - you can tell heโs close.ย ย ย
Without warning, you push him off; he starts to voice his objection but relents when he realizes it was just to allow you to switch positions - you quickly guide him over so heโs laying on his back underneath you.ย You settle yourself on top of him, wasting no time sheathing his cock in the heat of your cunt.ย Slow swivels, back and forth, stimulating your clit, watching him for his reactions, and sure enough, you can feel him approaching his climax once again. His hands guide your hips, you can feel him tensing, heโs close, so fucking close.ย You can see the silent pleas in his eyes, his fingers gripping your hips just a bit harder.ย ย ย
With a mischievous smirk, you brush his hands away and slip off of him again- heโs stunned and frustrated, this is now twice that heโs been edged and you can sense his exasperation by the annoyed โwhat the FUCKโ that he utters, grasping feebly at you, insistent at pulling you back onto him to resume your mistrations on his cock.ย Ignoring his protests, you straddle his leg, your wetness soaking his thigh just above his knee, his muscle there stimulating your clit as you grind against him.ย
Before he has a chance to fully grasp whatโs happening and before he can protest further youโve bent over and taken his cock in your mouth.ย
โOh FUCK!โ His exclamation is raw, guttural, pulled from the depths of his throat by the thoroughly unexpected action.ย The tastes of your essence and his arousal mingling in your mouth only serve to make you even wetter, and his hands come down to bury themselves in your hair, seeking purchase, stability, something to ground himself. His grip is strong, pulling to the point of tears that cloud your eyes but the pain merely elevates your pleasure and you find your hips grinding harder against his thigh, chasing your own release.ย ย
Your head is spinning with a million different sensations - the taste of him, the taste of you, the stimulation your clit is receiving, the feeling of his balls in one of your hands, your other hand stroking his cock as your mouth bobs up and down on his length, tongue tracing the sensitive underside, desperation fueling your movements as a litany of curses spew forth from his lips.ย You moan around his cock, the stimulation nearly overwhelming; by now his gasps and whimpers are barely intelligible - murmurs of โdonโt stop donโt fucking stopโ, and โplease please please oh fuuuuuuckโ.
Itโs only a matter of minutes now - one more swallow around his cock and gentle squeeze of his balls and his body tenses beneath you, one final guttural groan that barely sounds human and he spills in your mouth, his seed dripping down your throat.ย Youโre ready for him, swallowing every drop as he gives it to you and with one last grind against his leg youโre coming as well, your walls spasming feebly around nothing, your lower lips pulsing against his thigh.ย You are well and truly spent, collapsing against him, your head on his abdomen. You tilt your head up to see him to find his hands are now in his hair, dragging down his face, chest heaving.ย
He looks down and sees you smiling lazily at him; he chuckles weakly.ย โWhat the actual fuck, baby.ย I think you may have just sucked my soul out of my body.ย Like thereโs actually nothing left.โย
A playful giggle escapes your lips.ย โWell we canโt have that, can we? The night is still youngโฆโย You plant soft kisses along his stomach, slowly working your way up his body.ย โ...and I wouldnโt mind a round two. Or are we on three now?โย Your tongue finds his nipple, gently flicking it with your tongue, feeling his breath catch. His hands find your ass, stroking, groping, squeezing.ย Moving to the other nipple lest it feel neglected, you look up at him, waiting for his response.ย ย
โShitโฆI donโt even know. โ he breathes.ย โI think I lost count.ย Not that I would mind, but seriouslyโฆImma need a minute or two.ย Or likeโฆtwenty.โย
You giggle again as you work your way further still, nipping at his collarbone, sucking on his neck, the sensitive spot near his ear that makes him whimper, spending extra time on the mole on the base of his neck near his right shoulder.ย Pulling back just slightly you can see the purple bruise slowly starting to form; you smile at your handiwork and catch his gaze. Sure enough his eyes are hooded, half open, lips swollen, face flushed; he looks fully and thoroughly fucked out.ย You finally meet his waiting mouth with your own, his tongue tangling with yours, as he tastes himself on you with a muffled groan.ย ย
As you part just enough to catch your breath, your foreheads pressed against each other, you take a moment to savor the closeness, until he breaks the silence with a reminder of your words from earlier in the night. โโDoes it really matter?โโ He scoffs.ย โAre you KIDDING me?โย ย
You giggle, rolling up off of him and snuggling into his side, your leg coming up to drape across his hips. โToo much?โ
He pulls you in closer to him, nuzzling the top of your head.ย โI donโt know, I kinda feel like I should be worried if this is how youโre going to respond to every stranger you meet in a hotel bar.โย
You can hear the pout in his voice.
You laugh, flipping your hair over your shoulder and crane your neck up to give him a kiss on his adorable cheek. โNot every stranger.โ You clarify.ย โJust the handsome ones I happen to share a last name with.โ
He pulls you in for a kiss, his hand gripping your thigh still hooked around your waist, thumb gently stroking at the skin there,ย โWell, thank you for indulging my fantasy.โ
โOh believe me, when I say it was my absolute pleasure,โ you reply.ย โThough I have to say, I really was surprised to see you here.ย I thought you had schedules until early next week. I even double checked your itinerary when we were downstairs.โ
โI didโฆ but I thought Iโd rearrange my flights with a stopover here to try and catch you at the airport after your meetings, then the storm came through, andโฆ wellโฆ here we are.โ
โYou certainly kept me on my toes,โ you smile.ย โI saw you come into the bar and it took me a minute to register because I just wasnโt expecting to see you there. But then I figured it was as good a time as anyโฆ and when you got me the drink, I knew it was game on.โ
โWell, thank you.โ He pulls your leg up tighter around him, and you can feel his cock twitch against your skin.ย ย
Propping yourself up on one elbow, you seek out his lips, capturing them with your own, this time soft and gentle, knowing you have all the time in the world.ย โYou are so very welcome.โย Sliding your body across so that you are once again straddling him, you feel his increasingly hardening member grazing your ass. โI take it weโre ready for round three Mr. Min?โย
He hisses through his teeth as your fingers rake down his chest, your nails leaving the faintest of marks in their wake. โOh we most certainly are, Mrs. Min.โ
Outside, the thunder and lightning are long gone and the storm has since dissipated into a light drizzle.ย In much the same way, all your movements for this round are quieter, calmer, more precise - calculated, deliberate, and unhurried, savoring every moment of the night ahead.ย
-> ...in the next moment this (handsome) stranger is leaning in closer and whispering behind his hand, "Just play along. My nameโs Seungmin, and whoever stood you up is a douche."
warnings: cursing, mentions of previous toxic relationship (physical, verbal, emotional abuse), cheating / infidelity, nudity, sexual themes, reader has panic attacks and low self-esteem, negative self talk, themes of anxiety and depression, comfort for mental health due to relationship trauma
this one is for @hityoulikebahng and bc I'm so hopelessly wrecked by this man. I hope you like it, darling ๐
You havenโt taken your eyes off the frosted window since the last time the waiter approached your table for two. The empty seat across from you only creates an unbearably awkward tension every time he visits to refill your free glass of water.ย
Anyone can recognize a stand-up when they see one.ย
God, this is embarrassing. Your first blind date in three years, and he doesnโt even show. Or worseโฆhe saw you in the window and decided to not come in.ย
โTen more minutes?โ you ask hopefully when the waiter looks at your unopened menu next to your empty basket of free bread.
Itโs been an hour. Your blind date is not coming. So, why are you still sitting here with tears ready to spill? If you're lucky, the tears will fill your water glass so your impatient waiter doesnโt have to bring over that stupid pitcher again.ย
Three years ago, after your last relationship ended, you couldnโt bring yourself to leave the apartment. Well, technically, it was your friendโs apartment. Youโd moved in after the breakup; there was no way you could stay in your ex-boyfriendโs studio after dumping him. Youโre not that heartless.ย
Your friend had been pushing for the breakup long before it happened. She'd been worried ever since she noticed bruises on your thighs during an impromptu sleepover. You brushed her off, insisting it was nothing, but no matter how thick your leggings or how loud your protests, the truth bled through. The relationship was toxic. It was only a matter of time before it began to show.
Convincing you to go on a blind date was an uphill battle. Your friend had to practically corner you to get you to even consider it. What finally tipped the scale wasnโt her persistence โ it was your therapistโs suggestion. A harmless dinner at a nice restaurant, just to practice being in the presence of a man again, wasnโt supposed to be a big deal. You werenโt expecting anything to come of it. If it got uncomfortable, you could leave at any time.
Being stood up hadnโt even crossed your mind. You were too focused on what youโd say, how youโd act. Your most recent search history still haunts you: โhow to hold a decent conversation on a blind date without having a mental breakdown and scaring them away within the first 3 minutes.โ
It was a valid search.
Unfortunate results, though.
In the frosty reflection of the window, you can see your waiter quietly discussing with his managers, frequent glances shot in your direction. He breaks away from their huddle and makes his way toward your table.ย
You know what he'll say: โI'm sorry, but we're going to have to ask you to either order or give up your table for the next reservation."ย
Itโs too late to snatch your purse and leave, but you swear, if that waiter so much as opens his mouth, youโll cry, and you wonโt stop.ย
Heโs almost to your table when something completely unexpected happens.
โSo sorry Iโm late. Traffic was crazy! You would not believe the slowpoke I got stuck behind.โ
All you can do is stare, wide-eyed, as a complete stranger slides into the seat across from you with an easy smile.
The waiter, just a few steps away now, comes to a stunned halt, completely slack-jawed.ย
Your expression obviously reflects the panic thatโs developing inside your chest, because in the next moment this (handsome) stranger is leaning in closer and whispering behind his hand, "Just play along. My nameโs Seungmin and whoever stood you up is a douche."ย
One thing is clear. This is not the blind date you were supposed to meet tonight.ย
This guy is a total stranger.ย
Youโre not entirely sure what to say. Itโs jarring to see someone sitting in the chair youโve been staring at for the past hour. He doesnโt carry himself like someone whoโs thought this through, which means he must be the type to act on impulse if heโs crashing blind dates without so much as a second thought.
Then again, if you really think about it, heโs not interrupting anything really.ย
"Did you order our regular?" he asks casually.ย
You shift in your seat when he manspreads under the table, his thighs unmistakably defined beneath sleek black slacks and a crisp, tucked-in button-up.
"Ummโ"
Giggles like popping bubbles fill the awkward silence before he waves a careless hand in the air. "That's okay! I'll order and tell them to work double time for an extra tip. I really am sorry for making you wait on me like that. How about I buy us your favorite dessert to share? Will you forgive me then?"ย
Before you can respond, Seungmin snaps his fingers, and the waiter rushes to the table. The boy doesn't seem all that younger than Seungmin or yourself. Actually, he looks like he could be about your age. You wonder why he's running around like a dog when his obvious good looks could do most certainly something for him.ย
He straightens his apron and drops into a ninety degree bow. "Mr. Kim, I had no idea you were going to be joining us tonight.โย
Seungmin reclines in his chair with crossed arms and a raised brow. "Even so, you should be sensitive to every guest. You weren't about to ask this young lady to leave, now were you?"ย
The waiter answers with a swift, โNo, Sir! I was just going to offer her tonight's specialโฆ"ย
Seungmin doesn't blink.ย
โโฆon the house?โ the waiter adds hopefully.ย
With a smirk and a wave of his hand, Seungmin finally allows the boy to relax. "Ah, I see. Well, just bring us two of the usuals and some red wine โ wait!" Seungmin looks at you. "Would you like white instead?"ย ย
Your answer is a lowered head and hidden eyes.ย
Seungmin studies your timid posture for a moment and then gives a knowing smile. "Champaign then," he tells the waiter. "That should be a good place to start."ย
The waiter bows and quickly leaves to tell the kitchen.ย
"Hey,โ Seungmin calls to the boy, who whips around in attention, "you're doing well, Jeongin. Don't listen to everything those older guys tell you. You've got yourself an extra tip tonight." He winks.ย
The boy called Jeongin smiles and says a quick "thank you" before escaping through the kitchen door, a wide grin on his face showing off his pretty front teeth.ย
โSorry about that. I hope you like parmesan chicken. I know it's not fancy, but it's honestly one of the best dishes here. Oh wait, do you have any allergies? I can tell them to make something else."ย
โItโs fine,โ you have to answer him quickly because he's already lifting his hand to call some other waitress over, โbut...do you own this restaurant or something?"
"Well, sorta. My best friend Felix and I co-own it, but this is really his dream. To own his own restaurant, I mean. It was going to be too expensive without a partner to help him get started, and he's got a real talent in the kitchen, so you know, it's not fair if โ I'm sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I?"ย
Actually, you find his talkative personality endearing, especially when his eyes start unconsciously bouncing around the room, like he's reading the walls and, every so often, your eyes. It's definitely a different feeling than the one you're used to. People shine when they talk about things important to them, but you haven't seen that shine in so long. Seungmin is...pretty.ย
"I don't mind."ย
Seungmin runs a hand through his hair and sits back again, his shoulders sinking as he relaxes. Once Jeongin brings the bottle of champagne and pours you each a glass, Seungmin allows the stem of the glass to pass between his fingers, lifting the rim to his lips and taking a sip.ย
"So," he swallows, "sorry about the whole random stranger stealing the spotlight thing. I saw you sitting alone and figured you were waiting for someone. But when no one showed up, I figured either you enjoy sitting alone in restaurants staring out frosty windows - which I don't condemn at all by the way-" he stops and winks again which makes you crack a bashful and nervous smile, "-or there's a really stupid someone out there who gave up their chance to have dinner with a beautiful girl."ย
You shrug, nodding after a moment of processing all of Seungmin's charms. "The second one."ย
He shakes his head and frowns. "Whoever stood you up is the dumbest person alive."ย
You find some kind of comfort in his words, even if you don't completely believe them.ย
"Well...thank you."ย
You haven't ruled out the possibility that this Seungmin guy is one of those predators who prey on vulnerable girls who have been stood up on dates, just waiting to swoop in and take the prize. The thought gives you pause. Are there signs to look for? You start to remember the time your friend came back from the club, rambling about creepy guys who hit on her. Hearing about it and actually being in the moment are two different things.ย
You're in the middle of deciding whether or not you'll stay to eat when--
"I just realized something!" Seungmin suddenly remarks as if he left cookies in the oven. "I don't know your name!"ย
"Oh..." you sigh, more relieved than you'd ever admit. "Itโs ___."ย
โ___?โ Seungmin repeats sourly. "What kind of a name is that?โย
You blink, unsure of how to answer. "The name my parents gave me."ย
"We're gonna have to think of a better name for you. A cuter name. You're too cute for a name like ___.โย
You mean to say something, honest you do, but nothing comes out but a stutter and some random mumbled syllables. Should you be flattered or offended?ย
Seungmin obviously notices, because he smirks at your bouncing gaze. "Just give me a few minutes, I'll think of something perfect."ย
Three waiters come out carrying silver trays with large dome lids and a roll out table with various choices of soup, bread, salad, kimchi, fruit, just about anything you could wish for. Two plates of parmesan chicken are placed on the table in front of you, the covers on each dish lifted in such a manner you would think the waiters were presenting gold.ย
"Wow..." you breathe in total extravagance.ย
This meal is like one meant for a king or a CEO. The waiters leave the rolling table behind while the two of you eat, so you can have your pick of side dishes and whatnot.ย
You're hesitant to eat, but when Seungmin lifts his head from taking his first bite and asks "what's wrong", you instantly begin stuffing parmesan chicken past your lips with a small hum of deliciousness.ย
"So tell me, if I can ask..." he says after a moment of enjoying the meal, "who stood you up?"ย
You almost choke but manage to hold yourself together. "A blind date. Nothing important."ย
"Really? Oh."ย
"Oh?"ย
Seungmin plays with his food, not something you were expecting. The action makes him seem childish. "Just not what I was expecting."ย
"What do you mean?"ย
He shrugs and takes a large bite of food. When he gets done chewing, he sees you're still waiting anxiously for an answer.ย
"Just...you looked properly upset, so I figured it was someone who means a lot to you, like a boyfriend or girlfriend."ย
"I don't have a boyfriend."ย
The man across from you nods and goes back to take another monster-truck-size bite of food. Odd, you were expecting a larger reaction, but okay.ย
This time you decide to ask a question, "Were you also waiting for someone or...?" because the last thing you want to do is steal someone as nice as Seungmin away from their predetermined plans just because you got stood up by (as Seungmin so graciously dubbed them) a douche.ย
He perks up. "My girlfriend called me right before I saw you and told me she's working late tonight. I already got all dressed up, and I didn't want it to be for nothing. And then I saw you sitting all alone with what looked like tears in your eyes, and I just...felt like you needed someone to talk to."ย
The word 'girlfriend' hits you like a truck and makes you want to cry unbeknownst the reason, but you still feel the necessity to be polite. The last half of his story was obviously meant to flatter you, even if the first half makes you ungodly uncomfortable, knowing this man is in a relationship with another woman.ย
"You do look very nice."ย
Seungmin meets your eyes. "So do you.โย
The two of you share a smile. Not the first. Not the last hopefully.ย
The stars in his eyes and his words provide you with hope that you won't be parting ways for forever after this dinner. For some reason, you're finding it easier to be in this man's presence the more he speaks, which is not normally the case with strangers.ย
"I know I didn't officially ask you, but would you like to have dinner with me, ___?"ย
Shyly, you lift your champagne glass to meet his. "I thought you didn't like my name."ย
"I never said I didn't like it. I said it wasn't cute enough for you," Seungmin corrects, clinking your glasses. "But the more I say it, the cuter it gets."ย
::
About thirty minutes after dinner, you were halfway through devouring a truly sinful dessert called Triple Chocolate Killer Cake. And wow, was it sinful. You loved every bite.
Across the table, Seungmin watched you with a soft smile, his cheek resting against his palm as you enjoyed his favorite dessert from his best friend's restaurant.
"Happy?"ย
Placing your fork delicately on your plate, careful not to make a sound, you swallow politely and nod. "Thank you."ย
"You got some. Right there." Seungmin gestures to the right corner of his mouth.ย
Itโs always tricky in moments like this. Are they talking about their right or your right? In the movies, the girl always wipes the wrong corner, and then the guy has no choice but to reach over and swipe her lip with his thumb, creating that perfectly awkward tension. You know the trope well. Courtesy of an adolescence spent cultivating wildly unrealistic expectations of boyfriends. So, to play it safe, you just wipe your entire mouth, corner to corner, just in case.
Seungmin smirks as if he can sense the inner workings of your reason. "You got it, good job."ย
Placing the napkin back on your lap, you muster up the courage to initiate conversation further, "So if the restaurant isn't your dream, what is?"ย
"I'm the CEO of Seung Models."ย
"Is that your dream?"ย
Seungmin blinks at you, a tilted head and frowning lips. "You know, everytime I tell someone I own a modeling agency, they just assume that it's my dream. I mean, who wouldn't want to work with models all day, right?"ย
"I would imagine lots of people," you say plainly.ย
"Yeah, I guess so," Seungmin gazes at you, the corners of his smile slowly turning up again. You tell yourself it's not because of you, but the way he's watching you right now makes your lungs clench inside your chest. "Well, we're always looking for new talent, so if you know anyone who'd be interested let me know."ย
"I'll keep a lookout."ย
"Or, you know, if you were interested in--" He jumps when his phone vibrates in his pocket. "Good grief, who is it now?" Pulling out his phone, you notice his annoyed expression shift when he sees the caller ID.ย
"Hey, beautiful, what's up?"ย
The other voice is muffled but you can clearly make out one thing. It's definitely female.ย
"No, I just...I went to the...yes, I'm being careful...well, I just ate without you because you said work...ah, okay...I'll be back soon then...yeah...love you too. Bye.โย
The call ends.ย
You could ask who it was, but that doesn't seem necessary as it's kind of obvious. Anyway, you'd rather not remind Seungmin he's having dinner with an awkward stranger instead of his lovely girlfriend like he originally planned.ย
The man, who doesn't seem so much like a stranger anymore, sighs and leans back in his chair before snapping his fingers.ย
Jeongin comes quickly. "May I help you, Sir?"ย
"Put the bill on my tab and let this young lady order whatever else she wishes. It's on me. I'm headed home for the night." Then he looks back at you with a charming smile. "I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly like this. But you know, when the girlfriend calls..." he shrugs to finish the statement.ย
You shake your head. "Please don't apologize! You've done so much for me already. I should be thanking you."ย
"Such manners." He smiles gently. "I wish we had met sooner. I like talking with you."ย
Then Seungmin winks and pulls out a small white, business card from his suit pocket. "Here's my number. Call me if you get stood up again, okay?"ย
Youโre fully aware he has a girlfriend, and no, you shouldnโt be feeling anything for him. That would be wrong on every possible level. But still, every time he smiles or laughs or sends a casual wink your way, something inside you tightens. Not in fear, but in a way thatโs warm and unfamiliar. Your cheeks flush, your chest grows tight. Heโs kind. Gentle. So full of light it almost hurts to look at him. Maybe itโs all just an act, a well-rehearsed charm, but a small, foolish part of you wishes itโs not.ย
"Thank you." You take his card, immediately standing and bowing in respect.ย
Seungmin chuckles at your actions and grips your shoulders to pick you back up. "Please, that's not nec--"ย
Your entire body instinctively flinches, unnecessary panic flooding your eyes and a loud heartbeat indicating your steadily rising pulse. Before you can register whatโs happened, you jump back from him, putting sudden space between you. Your arms fly around your waist, encircling you in a defensive, barricaded position.
Seungmin just stares at you, with his hands hovering where you were once standing.ย
"___? Are you okay?"ย
You try to laugh it off, but your voice comes out shaky and scared, "Sorry, I'm fine. Thank you for dinner. I should be leaving too."ย
"___?" he tries to ask again, but you're already walking out with a lowered chin, trembling fingers clutching your purse and Seungmin's business card.ย
You don't look back even though you want to. Because you know what you'll see โ a very confused and very handsome stranger waiting for the universe to explain who you are and why you did what you just did.ย
::
Seungmin tiptoes into the house and carefully places his keys and jacket by the door. Treading quietly through the living room, past the stairs, and into the back bedroom, not daring to make a sound lest he wake the possible sleeping beauty in his sheets.ย
She said it's been a rough week. She's been saying that a lot lately.ย
Sure enough. When he turns the brass knob and peaks inside, there she is. Fast asleep in his bed, one of her legs exposed above the sheets while the rest of her stays snuggled out of sight. She's funny like that, insisting the room be cool so she can suffocate herself inside the comforter. Seungmin isn't a big fan of the AC blowing on him in the middle of the night, but it's a small preference to ignore for the sake of her comfort.ย
Seungmin fondly smiles and unbuttons his shirt, throwing it to the side along with his shoes and slacks. He climbs into the bed and scoots closer to her, his smile fading when he realizes she's wearing practically nothing. He can't tell if her newly developed habit of sleeping naked is intentional or oblivious. Either way, it's driving him insane.ย
"Hey, baby," he whispers with a kiss to her temple.ย
Her eyes slowly open, barely turning to the sound of his voice. "You're back early," she hums.ย
"So are you. Welcome home."ย
"I don't live here," she mutters sleepily, eyes already closing again. "You make it sound like I moved in or something.โย
"Then why don't you already?" Seungmin whines, lightly running his palm over the bare curve of her hip.ย
She doesn't answer right away. โBecause I have my own place and my own bed."ย
โThen why don't you ever sleep in it?โ Seungmin asks with a seductive nibble on her neck. Not that he minds his girlfriend's odd attachment to his bedroom, but he low-key meant that to be a serious inquiry.ย
"Maybe Iโm frustrated."ย
"Really?" Seungmin excitedly presses his warm hand against the small of her back to pull her hips closer to him, voice low and yearning, "I am too."ย
"No," she scoffs, pushing him away. "Not that kind of frustrated. I mean tired frustrated."ย
Seungmin frowns against her skin and nuzzles a few more kisses against the crook of her neck, dying to entice any kind of need within her. "Baby, please? Come on, I want you."ย
"Not tonight," she whines and innocently curls into his chest, immediately building that all too familiar wall between them.ย
Seungmin can feel the pressure building in his gut. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time he's gotten excited and then shamelessly shut down. It's a common occurrence that's been repeating for a while now.ย
At first, he tried to be patient. Told himself it was just stress, long hours, hormones. But the weeks went on, their workloads fluctuated, yet the excuses stayed the same. And Seungmin was left with pent-up tension and a girlfriend who feels more like a roommate.ย
"How was work?" she asks tiredly.ย
"Hard. We're running out of time to find the last model for the New Year line. It's not like we haven't gotten plenty of options but," he sighs, rolling to his back to watch the ceiling, bringing her with him. "None of those girls have the right vibe, and I just can't bring myself to settle. I mean, this could be a huge opportunity for the company. If this season takes off, we could be on the same level as the top of the top in the industry and it's all riding on me toโฆbabe?"ย
The girl looks up at Seungmin with one half-opened eye, a disinterested hum on her lips.ย
"Hmmโฆโย
"Are you listening?"ย
"Yeah," she says through a yawn. "Work is hard, I get it. Just relax and pick someone."ย
"You know what might make me feel more relaxed?"ย
"What?"ย
"An orgasm.โย
"I told you, I'm tired--"ย
"You don't have to do anything," Seungmin insists, voice low and pleading. โI'll do all the work, baby, please?โย
"How many times do I have to say no?"
Of course, she has every right to say no. She's not obligated to do anything just because Seungmin asked, and he would never want to take that choice away from her.ย ย
But...he can't lie and pretend it doesn't hurt. Itโs not just about sex. It's the way she used to reach for him in the middle of the night, the way her body told him he was wanted, needed. Now it feels like she's left that part of them behind, and he's the only one still trying to carry it. The closeness, the intimacy, the feeling of being completely connected. And he's trying so hard to be patient, but he wonders when 'no' stopped meaning 'not tonight' and started meaning 'not ever.โย
He has to say something about this. He should say something, right? This is about the health and intimacy of their relationship after all.ย
"Actually...I've been wanting to talk to you about something."ย
"What now?" she groans.ย
"Our sex life. Or rather the lack of it."ย
The girl just sighs and goes back to cuddling. "You know I've been overworking myself lately. Can't we talk about this tomorrow?"ย
"But, you said that last time, and now it's been close to four weeks since we last talked." Seungmin pulls away and props himself up on his arm, forcing his girlfriend to roll away. "I'd like to talk about it now."ย
She throws an arm over her eyes. "Fine. Talk. I'm listening."ย
"It's just that, it's been over a month since we've been intimate, and I don't want to pressure you or anything, but it's starting to mess with me. I'm imagining things, flirting with random inanimate objects, and all I want to do at the end of the day is make you feel good and to release some of my own tension, but it just keeps building and building, and that's why I'm like, frustrated because--"ย
"Seungmin," she interrupts him with a hand on his thigh, "you know you don't need me to feel good. You can do that by yourself."ย
"I know I can because I have been. Almost every day!" Seungmin admits, shifting in his spot to lean further towards his girlfriend's unconcerned position. "But I feel kind of wrong, because I'm not satisfying you like I should be doing as your boyfriend. I don't want just the thought of you, I want you. I want what we had before we stopped having sex."ย
The girl sighs and wraps her arms around Seungmin's strong frame, slowly rubbing the bare skin of his side with soft fingertips. "I know you're worried about our lack of intimacy, but really I'm okay with it. You don't need to worry about satisfying me. I like things the way they are." She scoots closer. "But, since you've made it very clear that you're frustrated, I'll make the extra effort for you. Just not tonight, okay. I'm tired."ย
Seungmin dramatically sighs before pecking her lips, making note that he didn't feel her return the kiss. The sting hits him deep in his stomach.ย
"Okay, but please don't act like having sex with me is something you have to put 'extra effort' into. I know you like it." Suddenly, a tinge of fear creeps into Seungmin's chest and makes itself a little home between his ribs, "...don't you?"ย
His girlfriend holds her breath before exhaling with a casual shake of her head. "Does everyone have to like sex as much as you do? So what if I don't want to be intimate every day."ย
"I don't mean to say we have to be intimate every day," Seungmin explains, god forbid they end this conversation with another misunderstanding, "but a little more physical affection would be nice sometimes. You sleep in my bed more than anywhere else, but I still miss you."ย
"Seungmin, I'm right here. You don't need to miss me."ย
The irritated tone she uses is like an aching fire on Seungmin's skin. He grabs her hip, rolling her onto her back and hovering over her with shallow desperate breaths.ย
"That's the thing, I still do. Sometimes, I feel like we're not even in a relationship anymore. In the morning, you leave before me and come back before me, falling asleep again before I even get to kiss you hello." Seungmin leans down and attaches his lips to the curve of her ear, the simple action of his hips pressing down on hers sending tremors through his entire body. "Baby, I swear I don't mean to push you, but I just want to feel like my girlfriend is still mine."ย
Her breath comes out in a tired, irritable huff. He hears it, swallows hard, and slowly pulls back, the faint ghost of his affection retreating with him.
Without a word, he rolls away to his side, the silence between them heavier than before.
A few seconds later, her fingers graze his back, absent and noncommittal. "Weโre fine," she mutters softly. "Letโs just sleep, okay?"
Seungmin closes his eyes, trying to will himself not to speak after being utterly embarrassed like he just was. But his will breaks, and his lips form the words.ย
"Goodnight....love you."ย
He waits for a moment but his only response is the faint sound of his girlfriend's breathing.ย
::
You turn the clean, white card over and over in your hands.
Of course, he owns a modeling agency. Why wouldn't he own a modeling agency?ย
Seungmin definitely has the physique to be a model. Like, damn. That address is actually pretty close to the smoothie shop you work for, and with this card, you could easily find him (not that you're going to).ย
Quickly, you save Seungmin's number and address in your phone contacts. Then you rip up the business card and toss it in the trash bin.ย
Immediately, those insecurities you thought you had started to overcome begin rushing back. But just like your therapist taught you, each time you start to have a negative thought, you tell it to shut up.ย
He doesn't want you to call him anyway. He has a girlfriend, but even if he didn't, he'd never want to be with someone like you. Shut up.ย
Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.ย
::ย
Work is slow today. Probably because of the rain. People never want to get out when it's so gloomy and gross. The downtime would be nice on any other day, but today, the lack of busy tasks has left your mind with the opportunity to wander in every direction.ย
Unfortunately, the only direction it wants to go is to the phone in your back pocket, with Seungmin's number in it.ย
He keeps popping up, and you don't know why. Not that you hate thinking about him. But the worst part is that every time Seungmin pops into your head, so does his girlfriend.ย
It suddenly hits you while cleaning the blender โ his girlfriend is probably a model. A beautiful one. Someone who doesn't have scars, or bruises, or metaphorical cuts and marks. Someone who doesn't have problems opening up their heart or trusting to the point of self-depreciation. Someone who is willing to wear a bikini during the Summer or who can sleep in the same bed with another body beside them without waking up to a panic attack.ย
Seungmin doesn't deserve someone like you. Or rather, you don't deserve someone like Seungmin. A beat-up piece of trash who questions why she woke up that morning. A girl who hasn't been able to say "I love you" for over three years. A girl who hides herself like a child every chance she gets.ย
And yet, you can't stop thinking about him. It's gotten to the point that you've dangerously started creating your own personal assumptions about his life and personality.ย
You know, like psychopaths do.ย
You like to imagine he owns a dog or two. Huskies. Maybe German Shepherds. He buys them that fancy dog food that has to be refrigerated and toys, lots of toys. His girlfriend is allergic to dogs, so she's never around, and he likes to send you random pictures of them digging up his girlfriend's garden in the backyard because he thinks it's funny.ย
You like to imagine there are times when he's not so confident. Especially when it comes to romantic stuff. Like a first kiss. He probably blushes and stutters and asks before he does anything, because he's a gentleman.ย
It isn't long until the Seungmin you met over an impromptu blind date is morphed into your ideal, flawless partner, into someone he's probably not, but you like the character you created out of him too much to stop daydreaming.ย
Seungmin pops into your head so much today that you even imagine him walking through the front doors of your humble, corner smoothie shop. You imagine he's wearing a blue suit and brown shoes and his hair is dripping wet from the rain outside, combed out of his face to expose his forehead. He looks so handsome. You imagine he shakes his jacket out and hangs it on the coat rack to dry before scanning for a place to sit, another hand running through his hair for the third time since he entered, but you're not mad one bit.ย
"Hey," he greets you, the image of him walking toward the front counter with a friendly smile has you outwardly sighing, "I didn't know you worked here?"ย
"Huh?" The miniscule sound escapes you when he continues to stare with expecting eyes.ย
He laughs out loud, "I just came in to escape the rain, but didn't expect to find you handling a blender."ย
In that exact moment, said blender slips from your hands, and you fumble with it across the counter like an idiot, fighting to regain composure.ย
"O-Oh well, yeah I mean, I just," you ramble until you're finally able to drop the blender back into its rightful place against the wall, "it's just a part time job. What are you doing here, Seungmin?"ย
He points outside with flat lips. "Rain."ย
"Right." Mental facepalm number one.ย
He smiles at you genuinely. "You remember my name. I'm flattered."ย
A nervous chuckle is not the smoothest response you could have used, but it's all you manage. "Of course. How could I forget?"ย
"I guess it's safe to assume you made it home okay then," Seungmin comments, fixing the slightly ajar collar of his soaked, navy button up. "You never called me."ย
He's upset at you. Shut up.ย
It takes you a few moments to understand what he means, but then you remember his business card and a flush returns to your cheeks, one he's probably way too familiar with at this point. "Oh, yes. I'm sorry for running away like I did. I don't really have an excuse..."ย
Seungmin just shakes his head, excusing your previous behavior with a friendly, "No, it's okay! Some people don't like to be touched, and I get that. I should have asked before I just randomly grabbed you. I apologize."ย
"It wasn't your fault, but thank you. I hope we can just put that behind us."ย
"I'd like that," he smirks dangerously.ย
Not that he was being suggestive in the slightest! Seungmin is a perfect gentleman in the way he keeps polite eye contact and smiles with every word you speak. But his smirk is dangerous because you find yourself magnetically pulled into the slight curve of his lips to the point where you're physically leaning against the side of the counter.ย
His smile is so contagious. The way his eyes basically disappear, and the corners of his lips are kissed with the smallest dimples. No doubt you're falling for his smile more and more every time you see it. Naturally, you subconsciously attempt to suppress those nasty feelings as much as you can. But for some reason, for the first time in three years, you're having a really difficult time.ย
"So!" Seungmin says with a tap on the counter, "You do work here or you just think the green apron has potential to be the next fashion icon?"
You straighten your apron, running your hands over the monogram label. "What? You don't like the uniform?"
He shrugs. "You look better in black."
You cross your arms, trying to portray an air of confidence and playfulness. "I can pull off several colors. Green being one of them."ย
Seungmin harshly hisses as if he doesn't want to offend you, but his next comment comes anyway. "I think, and I'm just a lowly model producer, but you would look much better in, I'm gonna suggest blue."ย
After a long, careful examination of your apron, you shrug. "Okay, I'll give blue a chance. But if someone else walks in and tells me to wear purple, you're out of luck."ย
Seungmin tries to keep a serious face, but ends up breaking down in giggles. "Deal. Thanks for at least acknowledging me."
"My pleasure."
Seungmin licks his lips, watching you for a second or two, eyes softly blinking as if he's considering something intensely. You're about to comment because you're beginning to feel rather small under his gaze, but he speaks up first, finally.ย
"Would you like to have a smoothie with me? I'm going to be here until the rain dies down a little, and if I remember correctly, I really enjoy your company."
"Well," you consider, looking over your shoulder to where your only co-worker is sitting in the corner on their phone, zero concern for the world around them. "I would, but I'm on the clock and already had my break."
He waves your excuse aside. "Eh, your boss won't mind. Come on, just one small smoothie with me. I'll take responsibility for any troubles. Promise."ย
Glancing at the clock, your heart sinks because you do wanna sit with him, but if you ditch your shift, even just an hour early, you'll feel like crap and won't be able to enjoy Seungmin's company. The curse of obligation.ย
"My shift ends in about an hourโฆ"ย
You're not worth waiting for. Shut up.ย
You figure he won't; that's why you asked. Seungmin probably has someone to meet. Someone like his girlfriend. He'll say he doesn't have that kind of time, probably scoff at you for asking something so outrageous when you know he's a busy man, and then walk out and never talk to you again. It's for the best. Obviously Seungmin is not good for your health.ย
He checks his watch and then nods. "I'll wait for you."
The shock on your face must be amusing, because as soon as Seungmin lowers his wrist and sees your face, he's bursting into a giggly smile.ย
"You will?"ย
He nods again, resting his hands inside his slack pockets. "I said I will."ย
"Then...I guess one smoothie can't hurt."
Seungmin hasn't stopped smiling. He winks at you, a loud skip of your heart responding inside your chest.ย
"Awesome."
::
Conversations with Seungmin are a roller coaster. One second, he's talking about the superiority of sweet potato fries to french fries, and the next he's pouting because his girlfriend won't let him buy a puppy. He doesn't have a dog currently and, no, he and his girlfriend did not break up. Judging from the way he talks about her, he's a loyal boyfriend. A kind, considerate, happy, loyal boyfriend.ย
He says she's perfect in almost every way. He likes her hair, her smile, her laugh. He really appreciates and treasures every part of her. This is the stuff your elementary friends said having a boyfriend was all about. The kind of stuff in movies where the guy always speaks kindly of his girlfriend no matter who he's with. It's all very childish in a way, but you do admit. You're jealous. Jealous of the way Seungmin talks about his girlfriend.
Not that you were expecting him to be any less passionate about his relationship than he is about producing. He also loves his job very much. Turns out Seungmin is in charge of managing behind the scenes of the photoshoots and the final produced cut of the photos.ย
So, basically, he's a genius.ย
Each time he talks, he impresses you. So much, you have to take a sip of your smoothie to keep from staring slack-jawed at him.ย
Seungmin starts giggling, his cute laugh bringing you back to reality.
"What?" you ask, stunned at the way he suddenly sounds like a little kid.
He lifts his finger and brushes the corner of your mouth, pulling away with a small dot of pink smoothie on his fingernail. He smiles and tastes it. His lips are pink, and they look very soft for it being so cold outside.ย
"Thanks."
He nods. "No problem. I'm assuming you like your smoothie then?"
You copy his cute nod. "I always get this one."ย
He sits back and crosses his arms with a furrowed brow. "Always? Why that one?"ย
"I know I like it."ย
"Don't you wanna try something different now and then?"ย
"I haven't wanted to try something different in a long time," you answer, using your straw to play with the leftover smoothie at the bottom of your cup. โItโs safer to get what I know I like.โย
Seungmin blinks at you. Behind his eyes, he's processing, things are stacking in his mind and making more and more sense the more he talks to you. He can already tell you're no ordinary smoothie employee. There's something special about you, special and perhaps painful. He wants to know you more.ย
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Did you lose my card?"
Your eyes widen to the size of baseballs. Inside your chest, your heart screams at you not to answer. This is where the fairy tale ends and reality slaps you in the face.ย ย
"Umm, to be honest, I-I threw it away," you reply with a guilty frown.ย
Seungmin clenches his heart in pain, "Oh! You sure know how to hurt a guy's feelings.โย
He's disappointed in you for what you did. He must hate you for that. Shut up.ย
It's things like this that really bug you. He's obviously joking, but you feel like crying. No matter how many times you tell yourself he's fine, your mind keeps plunging itself into darkness, beating itself up for being so useless and stupid.ย
"I threw it away after I saved your number in my phone," you quietly tell him in hopes that he'll accept your excuse. "I have your number in my phone, I swear."ย
You try to fake a playful smile, but it's impossible. Your head hangs low, much lower than it was before. He still manages to notice your eyes and the dim wetness in them somehow.ย
Seungmin stops and turns to rest his chin in his palms, titling his head to see you and kindly smiling. "Ah, so is that why you haven't called me?"
"What?"
"The reason you haven't called me is because you have my number in your phone?"
The smirk on his face finds you practically speechless. "Well...no?"ย
His lips smack and he flashes a warm smile at you. "Then why didn't you call me? Not that I was waiting for your call or anything, but I was kinda waiting for your call."ย
What did he just say? You understand that some people are overly friendly or just have a flirty personality, but why does he keep saying cute things like this when he has a girlfriend?ย
"You have a girlfriend," you finally say, "I didn't call you because you have a girlfriend."
"Is that what you thought? Oh, no! I didn't โ I mean, that's not what I was implying at all. Yes, I have a girlfriend, but I was hoping you would call me because I want to offer you a job."
"A job?" you ask timidly.ย
"Yes, a job." Seungmin explains, "I think you have some raw talent hidden under that shy exterior, and I wanted to offer you a chance to audition for my company. But I also wanted to make sure your personality is as sweet as your appearance. I was hoping you would call me and I could see you again, so I could make sure I wanted you for the new New Year line. That's all, I swear."
"Oh."ย
It all starts to make sense. His friendliness wasn't an act, but you also misunderstood him from the very beginning. He never intended to have a relationship with you, well, not a casual one at least.ย
"I've never modeled before."ย
"That's okay!" Seungmin says. "I donโt like to use professional models. They're too pompous and demanding. Plus, they don't look as natural as say someone like you. I like your style, and from the time I've spent with you, I really like the energy and vibe you bring too. I want to hire you."
"Hire? Me?"
Seungmin nods.
Flashbacks of times you've watched yourself in the mirror come to mind. Clearly, Seungmin is only asking you this because he's yet to see you in something truly form fitting. While a New Year line doesn't sound nearly as demanding or scary as say a swimsuit line, you can't deny the amount of sheer terror just thinking about being in front of a camera does to you.ย
"I can't."
"Why not?"ย
I'm bruised. I'm broken. I'm scarred.ย ย
"I have a job here."
Seungmin scoffs, "Don't use that excuse on me. Someone just offered you a well-paying job to stand in place, and you turn it down to blend smoothies? Come on, all I'm asking is for you to audition. Whatdya say?"ย
"Thank you, butโฆ" you nervously pick at your sweater paws wrapped around your cold, styrofoam cup, "I'm happy where I am."ย
The gentleman sitting across from you narrows his eyes and sighs. "Are you? I mean, I know we don't know each other insanely well, but you can talk to me. If you want to."
"I know. Thanks." Your default response when someone offers to get closer to you.
Seungmin slowly nods and ganders around the store. "I guess you do have a little home here, huh? I get why you don't want to leave. Still..." he finishes his smoothie and stands up, "tell me if you change your mind?"
"Okay, sure," you say without looking up.
He stands there, watching you for a minute or so before you hear his soft voice, "Hey."
You slowly find his gaze looking down at you, and instantly, you're locked onto his eyes.
"Call me tomorrow? We can have lunch together on my break."
Immediately, you shake your head. "I'm not going to model for you, Seungmin."ย
"I know, but who said we can't be friends? I'm just asking you for lunch not to marry me."
"Friends?" The word slips past your lips before you can stop it.ย
He squats down next to you and smiles softly, little sparkles in his eyes you didn't know were there until you became this physically close to him. "I think you're really cool, ___. I'd like to be your friend, if you can manage that."
Your eyelids flutter like it's life or death. Did it suddenly get really hot in here or is that just you getting sick over nothing again? His eyes are so beautiful, it feels like they see into your deepest thoughts and insecurities when he looks at you like that. It's scary and nice and painful all at the same time.ย
You take a deep breath, unsure of what you're about to say, but your lips part and you decide whatever words come next must be your honest feelings.ย
"Okay. Lunch. Just promise me there won't be a wedding photographer."
Seungmin laughs and crosses his heart. "I promise." He stands and pulls out some money, dropping it on the table to pay for the smoothies. "See you tomorrow, ___."
You wave as he walks out the door, smiling back at you before stepping into the harsh world with exemplary confidence and positivity, the same kind you hope will find you again someday.ย
::
"Baby? Is that you?" Seungmin hears the lovely sound of his girlfriend's voice come from the kitchen when he enters the house.
"Yeah, it's me." He sniffs. "Are you cooking?"
Her footsteps come around the corner, and she smiles when he sees her, sighing in complete and domestic satisfaction.ย
"It's in the oven right now. I felt bad about our little fight the other night and wanted to make it up to you. Sorry, I used all your pasta though."
Seungmin sighs as he takes in the beautiful sight of his girlfriend. She's dressed in his t-shirt and boxers with a small white apron wrapped around her waist. She looks absolutely adorable. Seungmin can feel his heart swell at the sight of her.
"Baby, you shouldn't have."
She reaches out to him. Seungmin drops his coat and immediately goes to her, scooping her up in his arms and kissing her thin lips. He melts into her embrace.
"Hmm," she hums against his lips before pulling away, "well, I still felt bad. So, I put some lasagna in the oven and bought a bottle of your favorite merlot. How do you feel about having an Italian night?"
Seungmin smiles and kisses her nose cutely. "Sounds perfect." He begins to sway her in his arms as calmness washes over him. "You look adorable by the way. I love it when you wear my clothes."
"I know," she sings, "that's why I'm wearing them."
Seungmin raises his eyebrows. "Is that the only reason?" He dips his lips to her neck and begins to tickle her skin with kisses. "Sure there isn't another reason my girlfriend is wearing my boxers?"ย
She only giggles and tries to keep her boyfriendโs fingers from tickling her ribs. "Uh no, there's not. Seungmin!" she exclaims when he swoops her into the air, her legs instantly wrapping around his waist. "I swear, if you don't put me down right nowโ"
"You'll what?" Seungmin interrupts. "What will you do?"
His girlfriend huffs a few empty threats which make him chuckle.ย
"I think we've established that I'm the dominant one in this relationship," he leads them to the couch before dropping the smaller girl on the cushions and climbing over her, "or maybe you need to be reminded."
His words ghost against her ear mere moments before his lips follow, brushing along her lobe, then drifting down the length of her neck to the dip of her collarbone. Each kiss escapes him with a quiet sigh, his hands slipping beneath the oversized shirt sheโd stolen from his closet the night before. In one swift motion, he tears off her apron and tosses it aside, the careless act sending a pulse of heat straight through him. Even something that simple makes his desire spike.ย
Fuck, he needs this. The feeling of her soft body pinned beneath his. The sound of her breath hitching, her moans curling into the air as he rocks into her, her nails dragging down his back and sending shivers through his spine. The way her fingers tangle in his hair when he bites down on her shoulder. The heat of her skin pressed to his, their bodies moving together like they were made for this. The way she arches and cries out when he hooks her leg over his shoulder.ย
Just thinking about it makes Seungmin groan under his breath.
"Baby, the lasagna will be done in like fifteen minutes."
"Fifteen minutes is plenty of time." He crashes their lips back together, his mouth hungry and urgent as he licks inside, coaxing her tongue to meet his. He needs to taste her - but more than that, he needs to keep her from speaking, afraid that if she does, sheโll pull away again.
To Seungmin's pleasant surprise, she doesnโt stop him. Maybe itโs because she made this whole dinner as a quiet apology for turning him down last time, but he clings to the hope that itโs because, right now, she actually wants him too.
โWait,โ she finally breathes against his lips when she finds a moment to speak.
Reluctantly, Seungmin pulls back, his eyes searching hers.
She offers him a soft, almost apologetic smile and gently runs her fingers through his hair. โHow about we just enjoy our dinner tonight, okay? Weโve got plenty of time to do all this another day.โ
Seungmin freezes. He thoughtโฆfor a split second, he couldโve sworn she was into it. Her head had tilted to give him more access, her body warmer and more inviting than it had been in weeks. His hands were already halfway to undoing his pants, convinced they were finally on the same page again. So what happened?
โYeah,โ he says after a pause, swallowing the lump of disappointment in his throat. โOkay.โ
His girlfriend sighs as they both sit up again. She pats his thigh and heads back to the kitchen, but she doesnโt make it two steps beforeโ
โDo you find me attractive?โ
She pauses, glancing over her shoulder. โWhat? Of course, I do.โ
โNo, I meanโฆdo you think Iโm sexy?โ
She turns fully now, brows furrowed. โWhat the heck are you getting at?โ
Suddenly, Seungmin stands and strips off his shirt, urgency tightening every movement. His breath comes faster, heart pounding under a storm of insecurity.ย
โDo you even want me?โ he asks. His gaze might look confident, but the tremble in his voice betrays the truth.
โIโฆโ She swallows, startled. โWhy would you ask me that?โย
โJust answer the question,โ Seungmin says, more vulnerable than demanding.
She doesnโt speak right away. Instead, she walks toward him and places a hand gently on his bare chest. Itโs a simple gesture. But after weeks of distance, that one touch lights a fire under his skin. It sends a chill down his spine, and something low in his gut pulses with the need to feel more.
"Are you okay, Seungmin?"
"No. I'm not okay. This relationship is not okay. That's the issue." The words pour out before he can stop them. "And stop calling me Seungmin."
She scoffs, tension flaring in her voice. "Thatโs your name.โย
"You never used to call me by my name. It was always baby, or dandy boy, or hell, even daddy. What happened to that? Or was it just pillow talk? Things you used to say when we were actually sleeping together.โย
Her brows knit, clearly taken aback. "What the hell has gotten into you?"
"I want you! I still want you so badly. Why don't you want me anymore?" His voice breaks as he reaches out for her waist, but she steps back, putting more distance between them. Heโs left standing there half-dressed, half-broken, and completely confused.
โI donโt want to have sex,โ she says firmly.
Seungminโs hands slowly fall to his sides. The silence stretches on before he quietly asks, "Babyโฆare you asexual? Because if you are, thatโs okay. We can work through it. But you have to talk to meโ"
"What? No!" she snaps, quicker than he expected. "I just donโt want to do it right now."
"You havenโt wanted to 'do it' in over a month," Seungmin presses, trying not to sound accusing. "Iโm not trying to offend you, I justโฆI thought maybe somethingโs changed."
She exhales sharply and lifts a hand, signaling him to stop. "I promise Iโm not asexual. I justโ"
"You just what?" he asks, stepping closer.
โI just had a long day and Iโm tired, alright?โ she finally says, turning to walk into the kitchen.
Seungmin follows, quietly but firmly. โIf youโre that tired, why go out of your way to make dinner for me? You couldโve ordered takeout.โย
She shrugs and wipes little circles on the counter top with her hand towel. "Just because I wanted to," she mumbles but it's not cute like it was before. It's just frustrating.ย
Seungmin carefully steps closer to her and slides his hands around her waist once she allows him, giving her every chance to push him away. When she doesn't, he sighs and rests his chin on her shoulder.ย
"I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured. I can take care of myself later. But I don't think we should ignore this. What do you think about maybe talking to someone about it?"ย
"What do you mean? Like seeing a counselor?"ย
"A relationship counselor, yeah. There's clearly something wrong in our sex life or we wouldn't be fighting like this all the time. I feel like there's a lot of tension that we're not releasing."ย
His girlfriend furrows her brow, clearly not impressed with the idea. "If you need to release tension that badly, why don't you do it before you come home?"
"You mean at work?" He almost can't believe she even suggested that. "I work at a modeling agency."ย
She shrugs again. "Yeah, so?"
Seungmin takes a step back and shakes his head, very confused and somewhat offended. "I am surrounded by stunning, sexy women all day who would do anything to get on the producer's good side." He points to himself. "Do you understand how easy it would be for me to release my tension at work? Are you asking me to cheat on you?"ย
That's when his girlfriend throws the hand towel across the counter and raises her voice louder than either of them have been all night. "Do whatever you need to, Seungmin! Whatever, I just can't take this nagging about sex anymore! I'm stressed, alright?"
"Then let me help you destress! I need you, you need me. Let's just go back to how we were before. When we were both happy. When we were sleeping together. Now it's likeโฆI don't know, I just hate how we are now." Seungmin practically begs, running his hands through his hair.
"Well, I don't!" she replies with a stomp. "God, I don't want to have sex every day!"
"I'm not asking you to have sex with me every day, but I haven't touched you or been touched in over a month and it's messing with me! You just quit on me without any warning, with no explanation, and now I feel more distant from you than I ever have, and honestly, it's really shitty of you to keep pushing me off without saying why!โย
She crosses her arms, and huffs a breath, popping her hip like one of those mean girls from high school. "Well, you're just gonna have to get over that because I'm done having this conversation with you. And if you can't accept that we're not going to be intimate anymore, then we can end this relationship right now.โย
And right at that moment, the oven timer beeps, and Seungmin feels his heart drop.ย
She pulls the lasagna out of the oven and places it on top of the stove before throwing her oven mitts next to the dish.ย
"I think I'm just gonna head home for tonight," she says quietly. "Enjoy your dinner."
Seungmin sighs and rolls his lips between his teeth, telling himself he should stop her. But he doesn't, and she walks out the door with her hair blowing back a scent of lavender and missed opportunity.
He doesn't eat dinner that night.ย
::
There arenโt many contacts in your phone, honestly. Scrolling through them, itโs nearly impossible not to see Seungminโs name pop up.
You hesitate. Maybe you shouldnโt be doing this. Butโฆhe did say he wanted to be friends, and if you're being honest, youโve been looking forward to seeing him again, no matter how much his smile does weird things to your chest.
Calling people has never been your strong suit. It's such a simple thing, yet your anxiety spikes the moment the phone rings in your ear. That faint, staticky tone that makes your lungs fizzle like theyโre boiling from the inside out.
"Hello?"
He answered. Oh god, he actually answered.
"Hey."
"I know that voice," he says, and somehow he sounds like heโs smiling. Just the sound of it makes you melt. "So you finally decided to call me. Took you long enough. I was wondering when youโd come around."
"Actually, thatโs why I calledโ"
Seungmin lets out a dramatic gasp. "Wait. Youโre not calling to stand me up, are you?"
You laugh, soft and breathy. If anyone else had said that, it might've sparked full-blown panic. But with Seungmin, you can hear the teasing smirk in his voice, and it soothes the knots in your stomach.
"I got caught up cleaning a mess for my coworker. They called out. Iโm sorry."
"Donโt apologize. Iโd rather you be late than hurt. I'm glad you're okay.โย
People always talk about the moment. The exact second they knew they were starting to fall for someone. One sentence. One gesture. One heartbeat where everything shifted.
And for the first time in three years, the second Seungmin said that impossibly thoughtful and completely unintentional sentence, something in you shifted too.
Like everything is finally starting to make sense.
"So, where are you?"ย
"I'm walking to the bus stop now," you tell him.ย
"Should I come pick you up? You'd probably have a much better time if you didn't have to take public transportation."
"No!" you respond a little too quickly, and it makes you pause before you can even finish your thought. "I mean, I can't ask you to go out of your way like that. I'll just meet you there like we planned."
Seungmin scoffs. "Nah, it's all good. I don't mind. Just stay where you are, and I'll be there in a few."ย
"But--"ย
But you don't have a chance to retort when he ends the call suddenly. Apparently he won't be hearing another word on the subject. Seungmin is on his way here and you have no choice but to wait for him.ย
It's a bit chilly. Thankfully the ice on the road has begun to melt, but there's still a biting breeze and plenty of reasons to wear gloves and a scarf. Too bad you didn't bring any.ย
By the time Seungmin pulls up to the curb, you've begun to shiver. He pops open the door from inside and gestures for you to climb inside. Cars were never really your thing, but you can tell just by the shape of the headlights this is not your run of the mill sedan.ย
That and the door opens up instead and out. You didn't even know car doors did that.ย
Inside is already toasty and the passenger seat is pre-warmed.ย
"Did you wait long?"
"No, you made great time. I figured youโd be later with the snow and all."
Seungmin presses a fist to his chest with mock pride. "I pride myself on my punctuality. But I hope you donโt mind, I actually need to stop by my office and drop something off. Totally forgot I had it, and the marketing team needs it before tomorrow."
You nod quickly. Of course you donโt mind. Seungmin's already done so much, picking you up, taking you to lunch, treating you like an equal, being generous, kind, real. Just being Seungmin.
He keeps driving, and the conversation flows as naturally as it did at the restaurant, and again at the smoothie shop. Every minute with him is easier than the last. Heโs open. Attentive. And you canโt help but smile at the little winks and side glances he sneaks your way despite being behind the wheel.
Itโs rare. Someone who actually listens, someone who sees you. He may never realize it, but he's doing something no one else has ever done for you before โ he's modeling what a healthy relationship feels like.ย
"So, tell me," he continues after you've finished comparing your favorite things about snow, "who is this coworker who dares to call out and leave you with all their work?"ย
"Oh, they do it all the time. I'm used to it by now."ย
"Doesn't the manager care?"ย
"Pretty sure they're sleeping with the manager so...I'm guessing not."ย
"Maybe you should sleep with the manager. Then you could get out of shifts too."ย
"I don't know. Double chins and back fat don't really do it for me."ย
As soon as you speak, Seungmin breaks into laughter - an easy, bubbling sound that fills the car. It's surprising because no one has ever thought you were funny.ย
It mustโve struck him funnier than you meant, because he casually reaches over and places a hand on your knee. You manage not to flinch, though the reflex still hums beneath your skin. He promised he wouldnโt touch you without asking, but something tells you that for Seungmin, touch is second nature. An instinctive way he shows affection. And honestly, you like that about him. You just havenโt figured out yet how to enjoy it without your past trying to yank you backward.
"So what does it for you then? If itโs not double chins and back fat?"
He grins, clearly joking, but youโre suddenly aware of how genuine your answer is going to be.
"I guess, I like guys who are more gentle. And honest. Honesty is really important to me."
Seungmin nods slowly, eyes fixed on the road. โHonestyโs hard to come by these days. Even when youโre upfront, the other person might not be. They start shutting you out, keeping things from you, like youโre some stranger. And you keep trying to be enough, trying to be what they want, but... itโs like theyโve already decided they donโt want you. And they wonโt even explain why. Itโs so fucking stupid andโโ he cuts himself off with a quiet sigh, resting his head against his fist by the window.ย
Silence stretches between you, heavy but not uncomfortable.ย
Youโve never seen this side of Seungmin before. With all his teasing and charm, it was easy to believe nothing ever really got to him. But now? Now you see it. He carries his own quiet ache, the kind you recognize. You donโt know the full story, but for the first time, you wish more than anything to be someone he could trust with it.
You just donโt know how to ask him to let you in.
He ends up speaking before you can think of the words to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean to drop all that on you. We can forget it.โย
"Trouble in paradise?"ย
"Guess you could say that," he shrugs, brushing it off with a tight smile. "But it's all good. Let's change the subject, if you don't mind."
"Sorry. Sure."
So thatโs it, then. Seungmin doesnโt want to confide in you. The realization settles deep in your chest, cold and familiar, like an old bruise pressed too hard. You hate how easily your silence chokes moments like this, how your words always seem to falter right when they might matter most. Youโre not the person people open up to. You never have been.
The silence between you stretches, thickening with every passing second. You start to fidget, fingers tugging at the strap of your purse, eyes locked on the worn tips of your boots. Seungminโs car glides so smoothly over the snow that you can hear every subtle crunch beneath the tires, every small shift of his hands on the leather wheel. It should be peaceful. Instead, it hums like static in your ears, uncomfortable, impossible to ignore.ย
"Is your work much farther?"ย
"Yeah, we just have to cross the bridge after this light," he says with a flat smile as the car comes to a stop.
The red illuminates the inside of the car despite it being midday. Clouds litter the sky and block the majority of any possible sunlight. Winter is nice, but you miss the sunshine on days like this.ย
"What's your favorite food?" he suddenly asks you.ย
"Umm, probably fruit. I also like rice dishes."ย
"Favorite color?"ย
"Red."ย
"Favorite animal?"ย
"Definitely dogs," you start to crack a smile. "Why the pop quiz?"ย
The light turns green, and he eases the car forward. โIโve gotta keep asking questions,โ he says, glancing your way with a grin. โItโs the only way Iโll get to know you. Most friends know this kind of stuff about each other.โ
โIf you say so,โ you laugh softly, warmth blooming in your chest. Itโs been a long time since anyone really tried to know you, really cared to. And the fact that itโs Seungmin? That just makes it harder to keep your heart steady.ย
He catches your shy smile in the corner of his eye and smiles back. "Glad we agree."
Damn it, you really like this. Riding in a car, feeling completely safe with the person driving. Talking about absolutely everything and seemingly nothing at the same time. Learning new things about each other without fear. You're not sure how he's managed to create this safe atmosphere, but somehow Seungmin makes talking โ something you've never found easy โ so simple.ย
He keeps the conversation going with another easy question. โFavorite movie genre?โ
โI like old-timey romantic movies.โ
Seungmin quirks a brow. โLike black and white ones?โ
โYeah. My mom and dad used to take me to drive-ins. Weโd sit in the car tossing popcorn at random stuff and making fun of the actors. It was just silly, but, it made me feel really close to them.โ
He glances at you briefly, then back at the road, his smile soft and genuine. โUsed to?โ
You hesitate, but something about Seungmin makes you feel safe enough to tell the truth.
โMy parents passed away not long after my eighteenth birthday.โ Your voice stays steady, though your chest tightens. โI still miss them every day. Sometimes I catch myself wishing I could just hug my mom again or ask my dad what to do. I feel like things would make more sense if I could. Daz always said they're dead now so what's the point of wishing hopelessly. He's probably right. He was very adamant about those things."
Seungmin doesn't respond right away. The silence settles, not cold or dismissive - just thoughtful. And when he finally speaks, itโs quiet and careful, like he doesnโt want to break something delicate.
"Look, I don't know who this Daz guy is, but he has no right saying things like that. It's one hundred percent okay to miss your parents. And if it's hopeless wishing, who freaking cares? Wishing keeps your heart alive. It keeps your hope alive. And if you're not hoping for anything, then what's the point?"
Those words are the kindest you've heard in a really long time. So long in fact, you don't know how you're supposed to respond. Even if he didn't mean them in the way you want him to, you know he meant them to encourage you, and that in and of itself means so much.ย
You honestly feel safer even just sitting in a car with him, driving down the snowy street in the cold of a winter afternoon. You could spill everything. Every little piece of yourself.ย
Carefully, you watch his profile, paying special attention to your heart tugging in your chest. And not because Seungmin is the first guy to treat you this way in such a long time, (although that's probably a factor), you just trust his person. You don't have to keep your guard up constantly or suspect him of lying to you orโย
"And who the hell is this Daz guy anyway? He sounds like a dick.โ
You blink. Whoops.
"Uhโฆ" you stumble, "h-he's myโฆ ex."
Seungmin straightens a bit, clearly caught off guard. โYour ex said that to you?โ His voice is laced with disbelief, and your heart skips.
โYeahโฆโ You inhale slowly. Itโs time. Heโs been open with you, and you owe him the same. โDo you remember the first time we met?โ
โYeah, at Felixโs restaurant. Why?โ
You hesitate, then press forward. โI told you I was waiting for a blind dateโฆ but that was actually my first date since breaking up with Daz.โ
Seungmin glances over, catching the embarrassment on your face before you can hide it. โReally?โ
You nod, hands twisting together in your lap, ankles crossed tight. The heat rising in your cheeks feels almost unbearable, made worse by the snow falling steadily outside, soft and cold against the windows.
You wait for the silence to stretch, for him to pull away or say something sharp. But instead, he exhales slowly and reaches over, slipping his hand into yours.
โIโve been stood up before,โ he says gently. โIt sucks. A lot.โ
His palm is warmโsolidโbut tender. The way his fingers curl around yours makes something deep inside you unclench. You glance at him. The angle of his jaw looks sharper against the soft light, but his expression is anything but hard.
โIโm sorry for lying,โ you murmur. The guilt is thick in your voice. You still canโt convince yourself he wonโt suddenly regret being kind.
But Seungmin just shakes his head, glancing at you with something softer in his eyes. โYou didnโt really lie. You didnโt owe me anything that night. And honestlyโฆ people lie for a lot worse reasons. You donโt have to carry that around. I'm not mad.โย
"You're not?'
Seungmin shakes his head and chuckles. "Of course, I'm not. What, like I'm gonna pull the car over and leave you on the side of the road because I don't affiliate with liars? My job has me surrounded by liars every day. And they're much worse than you, believe me."ย
"What do you mean?"
"Okay so, you've seen magazine covers and photoshoots, right? All that stuff is edited and polished until it's perfect. Most of those girls don't look like they do in pictures. In real life, models are much more..." he takes a moment to think of the right word, "erroneous."
"Erroneous?"
Seungmin glances your way and smiles proudly. "It's my word for the day. It means flawed."
"Oh," you stifle a giggle with the back of your hand, "well, I appreciate you not kicking me out of your car. And for your significantly expanded vocabulary. It's very advantageous."
Seungmin raises his brow, equally entertained. โAlright, I see you, ___. Impressed.โย
Conversations with Seungmin are so refreshing. You never talked about vocabulary words, models, or classic romance films with Daz. Honestly, you never talked like this with anyone.
In fact, since your last conversation with Seungmin at the smoothie shop, you havenโt really spoken to anyone else. That exchange has been playing on a loop in your mind ever since. His words linger, like they found a home somewhere in the space between your ears. And strangely, you donโt mind. You like having his voice echo in your head. It's calming.ย
"Earth to ___?"ย
"Huh? Oh, sorry," you immediately apologize. "I tend to zone out sometimes."ย
"Stuck in dream world?" he asks with an understanding sigh.ย
You shrug. "Something like that."ย
"The dream world can be a dangerous place, you know. Careful how often you spend time there."
Some of the things Seungmin says catch you off guard. Sometimes you think you've got him figured out and then he says something totally unexpected and yet completely understandable, and it surprises you how well you resonate with his worldview and experiences considering you've only met him a few times.ย
"Because," you continue his thought, "if you're not careful, you can grow complacent with your dreams. The only problem being nothing can ever live up to them. You'll only ever be satisfied when you're not in reality. Right?"ย
Seungmin looks over to you slowly as the car comes to pause at the last red light before his company. You keep a solemn gaze fixed on the road ahead.
"Right..." he says with a soft blink, sliding his hands up and around the steering wheel.
"Seungmin?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you do when all your dreams are nightmares?"
You've never asked anything like this to anyone, and this could potentially be very inappropriate, but you ask anyway. Maybe because for the first time, you think Seungmin could have a chance of having the answer. Maybe because you've come to the end of your patience and you're tired of dealing with unanswered questions. Whatever the reason, the words tumble out on their own. But you're not necessarily trying to stop them either.ย
"Find something good."
Seungmin's words shock you, but you're also curious as to what he could mean by that.
"Something good?"ย
He shrugs. "Yeah. Focus on the good. Everyone has nightmares from time to time. Probably because no one has a perfect reality and their daydreams are going to have some downsides too. The main point of a dreamworld is not to erase the hellishness from this reality. It's to create a whole new place to go when this reality gets a little tooโฆ"ย
"Real?"ย
"Yeah. Real."ย
He parks his car and for a moment, you just watch each other, as if silently understanding that whatever it is the two of you are separately going through, whatever trials, whatever pain, whatever struggle, whatever reality, you both just found someone you can confide in and trust. Something neither of you have had in a long while.ย
"We're here," he sings and exits the car with you close behind.ย
Your head falls back completely just trying to see all the way to the top of the building. Standing on the sidewalk in your thrift shop jeans and sweater, you don't feel nearly rich enough to go in there.ย
Seungmin leads you past the front doors, past security, past another set of metal detectors and into what you immediately realize must be the main hall.ย
Everything is very impressive, from the massive cameras to the people behind them. You've never seen so many screens and all of them are flashing picture after picture in real time as the photographer takes them.ย
Standing in the middle of a white sheet at the front of the room is a beautiful model. She's wearing what looks like very expensive clothes and high heels. Her hair is perfect, her smile is perfect, her outfit is perfect. She looks perfect. And she looks so at ease. You can only imagine if that was you, you'd never look that good.ย
Seungmin taps your shoulder. "I'm stepping into that back office for a second. Can you wait here? I'll be right back."ย
"Yeah, sure."ย
As soon as Seungmin is out of sight, you try to get a little closer to the action. The whole thing is admittedly very very cool. The idea that the model and photographer work together to help influence thousands of people to buy a particular piece of clothing.ย
The fashion industry always intrigued you but you never felt beautiful enough to pursue it. Part of that is your natural tendency to belittle yourself, but you also know a lot of your issues with self acceptance came from your past relationship. You keep telling yourself you've moved on and healed but the truth is there's still pieces of you that hurt on a regular basis.ย
But watching this model do her job...wow. You have to admit, it looks fun. If only you had the guts to accept Seungmin's offer.ย
"Oh, thank god, you're here!"ย
Your head whips around and standing before you is a very tall, very flamboyant stylist. He's got a measuring tape draped around his neck, a crop top beneath his short overalls and the longest, prettiest eyelashes you've ever seen on any eyes.ย
"Next time you're gonna be late, please have the decency to let me know. We're all trying to do our jobs here, same as you, okay babe?"ย
"But I'm not--"ย
He takes your wrists and ushers you towards the other side of the room where there's racks of clothes and about six or seven vanities.ย
"No excuses, babydoll," he sighs, sitting you in a chair and pulling the ponytail from your hair. "Let's do this quick. You'll find out soon enough, but Mr. Cameraman over there is not known for his patience." He chuckles to himself before adding, "But he knows how to use his hips just as well as a camera, so I'm usually convinced to let things slide, if you know what I mean."ย
His comments make you giggle. Suddenly, you're very comfortable. He plays with your hair, fluffing it and styling it before moving onto your make up. It doesn't take him long. He says you're already so naturally beautiful he doesn't need to do a lot.ย
"Makeup is meant to accentuate a person's natural beauty, not paint on a whole new face. That's why it's called 'make up' not 'mask on', darling. Write that down."ย
After scanning through his several racks of clothes, he picks out a few pieces and tosses them towards you.ย
"There's a curtain over here, honey. Let me know if you need help. Just call for Hyunjin, that's me!โย
And with that, he hurries his cute little butt to another station and gets to helping someone else. As you look around, you realize there's not many people here. The set is big and appears to need many people to run it efficiently, but there's only maybe fifteen working bodies nearby. Maybe they're short staffed. Or maybe Seungmin is just picky about who he hires.ย
Whatever the reason, Seungmin made a very good choice hiring Hyunjin, you think.ย
The clothes he gave you look warm and cozy but definitely higher fashion than you're used to. Maybe you should try them on, just to be polite?ย
With more excitement than you thought you'd have, you hurry behind the curtain and begin stripping. After double checking no one could see, you slip on the fancy pants and top and coat.ย
As soon as you step out, Hyunjin comes running back over, hands over his mouth and what looks like tears in his eyes.ย
"Baby, look at you!" he gasps. "You are so beautiful. Yes. Yes! This is it, Felicia! Oh my god, girl, everything about this is right. You look utterly amazing!"ย
His compliments make you blush, warm cheeks only adding to the casual winter girlfriend aesthetic he's got you dolled up in. You wrap the coat further around your waist and smile bashfully.ย
"I like it."ย
"That's right you do! Now, go do your job and model that coat like your paycheck depends on it. Because it does. Go go go."ย
"What? Oh no, that's not what I--"ย
"Less talking, more modeling. Snap snap!"ย
You're shoved in front of a blank backdrop, suddenly and forcefully. Scanning the room, you don't see Seungmin anywhere yet. He must still be handling business elsewhere.ย
The photographer lifts his camera but he lowers it again before taking any shots.ย
"Are you gonna pose?"ย
"Uhhโฆ" you start to panic, "I don't knowโฆs-sorry."ย
From the corner of your eye, you catch Hyunjin gesturing for you to do something. He puts his hand on his hip and mocks showing off his outfit with a confident and flirty smile.ย
With nothing else to go on and no clear sign of escaping, you decide it's now or never. It does cross your mind that this is all Seungmin's doing, a last attempt to make you reconsider working for him, and while it's petty and a little invasive of your personal space, you might as well make the most of it.ย
You try to copy the poses. A hand on your hip, a hand behind your head, legs wide and hips pushed back. But it doesn't look right and feels awkward. The photographer takes a peak at the pictures and shakes his head.ย
He's disappointed in you. You ruined his photoshoot. You ruined the coat. You ruined all these people's hard work. It's all your fault. Shut up.ย
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," you mumble repeatedly, rubbing a hand over the back of your neck and refusing to look at the camera anymore.ย
The photographer gasps, "Hold it right there!" He snaps a picture before you can move. "That's it. That is, oh damn, that's great. Do that again."ย
"Do what?"ย
"The shy thing," he mimics your hand on the back of his neck, "what you just did."ย
With little assurance you tuck your hair behind your ear, glancing at the camera before looking away in embarrassment.ย
"Nice," he encourages you, "keep it up!"ย
You're not sure how you being shy and unconfident makes for good pictures, but you continue being your awkward, unsure self, and the photographer continues snapping pictures of you from every angle and side. He litters you with praises the whole time, some way too good to be true. But the more you hear how much he likes your modeling, the more willing you are to try new poses.ย
By the time Seungmin returns, you've modeled two other outfits and had your make up redone three times.ย
He walks out, hands in his pockets and an innocent smirk on his face as he watches you giggle at the camera. He thinks you're a natural, playing with the camera like that, teasing it by looking over your shoulder and shyly flipping your hair. Not only do your pictures come out flawless, but you make the clothes look remarkable too.ย
"Ready to go?" he calls for you.ย
As soon as he gets your attention, you hurry over to him, thanking the photographer and stylist on the way.ย
You stop in front of him and smile. "Okay, fine. You win."ย
"I win what?"ย
"I know you asked to come here so I would get a chance to model and hopefully reconsider your job offer."ย
He gapes, a hand over his chest. "___, whatever do you mean? I would never try something so manipulative like that."ย
You giggle at his reaction, playful hitting his bicep. "Oh, stop it! You know exactly what you did. And I admit, modeling is pretty fun."ย
"And you're so good at it," he insists, pointing to the pictures on the monitor. "You were a natural up there. Just like I knew you would be."ย
"You really think so?"ย
"Yeah, I do. And if you enjoyed it that much, you should come back and be my winter model. If you want to. Please? Only if you want to. Pretty please?"ย
This might be the second biggest mistake of your life, but right now, it feels like exactly what you need to do. Even if this all ends up being a waste of time, you want to experience it. It's been so long since you said yes to something new, something exciting. At least you know your therapist would be proud of you. And Seungmin's smile is influencing your heart in more ways than one at this moment.ย
"Okay. I'll do it!" you say excitedly and almost immediately, he wraps you in a tight hug.ย
::
Seungmin feels completely victorious. Today went even better than heโd hoped. You agreed to take a seasonal position helping him shoot his New Year line. And if things go the way he wants, maybe heโll even convince you to stick around for the summer one too.
Heโs not trying to think too hard about how much fun he had with you in the process. He meant it when he said he enjoys your company, though he mightโve understated just how much. Thereโs something about you. Your reactions are so sincere, your feelings never feel forced, and you have this effortless ability to switch between being funny and thoughtful. With you, thereโs no second-guessing. No pretending.
You just get him.
And that'sโฆreally something. Youโre really something.ย
Plus he got to come home early which hasn't happened in what feels like forever. He can actually cook something for dinner if he wants to. He has the time, the energy, and the ingredients. What the hell, why not? He can spoil himself for a night.ย
He drops his stuff by the door and makes his way to his bedroom to change into comfy clothes.ย
Weird. He doesn't remember closing his door this morning.ย
Just as his hand closes around the knob, he hears it. A high pitched, desperate moan. He recognizes the voice but not the name it's currently cursing in explicit pleasure.ย
Part of him doesn't want to open the door. If he does, he has to face it and envisioning the scene in his head is already his worst nightmare. The other half of him couldn't care less.ย
He pushes open the door and sure enough, there she is. With her head thrown back against his pillow, in his bed, covered by nothing but his sheets, in his apartment. Her hand is buried in the curly black hair of some strange guy who's buried himself between her legs.ย
They both jump when Seungmin slams the door against the wall.ย
He watches them, expressionless.ย
"Seungmin, what are you doing here?"ย
"My apartment," he deadpans. "What are you doing here?"ย
It's such a sick, mean question to ask someone in her position, but she couldn't earn his pity or his sympathy even if she wanted to. Not anymore. Not now. Not ever again.ย
The douchebag who was just devouring her sits up with a dazed blur over his eyes and shimmering lips. He uses the bedsheet to wipe his mouth before attempting to say something.ย
"Whoa, uhhh, hey dude listen, she didn't tell me she had a--"ย
"Get out," Seungmin commands.
The guy doesn't hesitate. Without giving Seungmin's girlfriend another glance, he pulls his jeans over his ass, grabs his shirt and runs out the front door, stuttering as he goes.ย
She sits there, naked and shameless.ย
She doesn't say anything. Not that Seungmin necessarily wants her to, but it would be nice to at least hear her try to explain herself. Her silence cuts through his skin like a knife, carving her obvious state of indifference across his skin and engraving every hint and voiceless sign he should have seen but chose to ignore for the sake of avoiding this very confrontation.ย
There's no point in avoiding anything anymore.ย
"You too."ย
"You can't just kick me out--"ย
"Now. Never come back."ย
She shouldn't be shocked. Either way, she takes her time getting dressed and gathering her jacket, which was thrown across the room earlier, no doubt during some heated foreplay.ย
Just as she passes Seungmin in the doorway, she pauses. Still staring straight ahead, he clenches his jaw and barely manages to keep himself composed when she speaks.ย
"I liked you, Seungmin. It's not my fault you suck in bed."ย
It's her lack of guilt or apology that burns more than anything. A million questions cloud his mind and judgment as she walks out, into the freezing world, the only consequence for her actions being the end of a relationship she clearly couldn't have cared less about.ย
And Seungmin is left to clean up the mess she's made of his trust.ย
He doesn't cry. She's not worth it.ย
First, he strips his sheets and pillow cases and stacks them in his apartment-sized square of green backyard. With a little motor oil and a match, he burns his best bedsheets to ash, followed by every physical picture he took with her and the scarf she accidentally left on his desk chair.ย
Even with all the physical evidence gone, for now the memory of her voice, her laugh, her kiss, and her sighs are still fossilized in his brain.ย
Despite having remade his bed and stacked it with fresh pillows, he still sleeps on the couch that night. (If staring at the ceiling and listening to the same song over and over just so he's not encased in humiliating silence is considered sleeping.)ย ย
::ย
2 weeks later
"Hey hot stuff, ready for a new day?"ย
Hyunjin, your now official personal stylist, tells you that you're beautiful every day. He's constantly praising you and pushing you to try new colors and hairstyles. Sometimes, when there's time before the shoot, you let him mess with your hair and play around with different makeup techniques.ย
Hyunjin is one of a kind and he's definitely your favorite new friend you've made since taking this job. But everyone in the office is nice to you thankfully, including the other girls. You're not best friends with any of them, but they smile politely and let you use their spare hairspray when yours runs out.ย
Modeling itself has gotten harder over the last few days. No longer do you envy the girls on magazine covers and commercials. The more pictures you see of yourself, the more you realize what Seungmin said is true. None of those models look exactly like themselves in the final product. Neither do you.ย
But you're not quitting. You gave Seungmin your word that you would stay until all the shoots for his New Year line are over. In return he offered to give you whatever outfit you like best in addition to your very generous paycheck.ย
You admit the perks are nice and you get along with the staff, but it's disappointing how often you actually see Seungmin.ย
Seungmin is a very busy man. You've only been modeling for about two weeks now, but even you can see he's been putting a lot on himself lately. Sometimes he doesn't leave the office until early hours of the morning. You discovered this after the day you came in to surprise the team with coffee and he was still working from the night before.ย
Needless to say, you made him promise to leave by midnight at the latest. And so far, he's kept to that promise, or so he texts you that he has.ย
Not that you took this job because you thought you would be able to spend more time with him. But when you took this job for a totally responsible reason, you thought you would be able to spend more time with him. Luckily, you've come to discover something he has a very hard time saying no to.ย
Lamb skewers.ย
Knock knock~~ย
"Come in."ย
You slowly push the door open and peek your head inside. "Hey, Seungmin?"ย
He looks up from his desk. His expression instantly lightens when he sees you. "___, what's up?"ย
"Are you ready to go?"ย
It takes him a moment to remember, but after a few blinks he catches on again. "Oh! Right, dinner. We're going to dinner, uhhh one sec." Scrambling for his things, he chuckles when he finally finds his car keys in his pocket.ย
His smile is nice but something about it seems...off.ย
In his car, you keep a close eye on him. Something happened. You can tell. As someone who's gone through deep shit, you've developed an ability to tell when someone else is also going through deep shit.ย
"How was modeling today?" he asks you casually as he pulls onto the road. "I saw your newest pictures earlier. You're amazing."ย
"Thanks," his compliments always make you shy. "I think I've got the hang of it, but facing a camera isn't always easy."ย
"Do you like it though?"ย
"Yeah, I enjoy it. How's your work coming along, Producer?" you ask with a slight tease to your voice.ย
He nods, as if his smile alone will carry the conversation. For whatever reason Seungmin has decided to overwork himself, whether that's to distract himself or avoid something, it's affected his social skills. He's not nearly as outspoken, confident, or involved as he used to be. The Seungmin you know is a great conversationalist and passionate and isn't afraid to save a stranger from being embarrassingly stood up on a blind date.ย
This isn't the same Seungmin.ย
You're not one for confrontation, but it's come to the point where Seungmin means too much to you to ignore him when he's not himself.ย
"Hey, are you okay?"ย
"Huh?" He glances at you innocently, as if broken from a daydream. "I'm fine."ย
"You don't seem fine. Did something happen?" you ask gently, tucking your hands between your knees and shrugging as if that will make your question less invasive.ย
Maybe it's not your place as his employee (technically), but you justify your actions because you're approaching him as his friend.ย
Seungmin sighs, obvious conflict in his breath and subtle fidgeting. He bites his lip as if he's trying to keep himself from admitting it, but he can't help himself. He really wants to talk to someone about it. And while he probably should be talking to a therapist, he really trusts you and part of him wants to share his personal life with you.ย
"I broke up with my girlfriend."ย
"I'm sorry."ย
"Not what you were expecting, huh," he forces a laugh.ย
"That's not it, I justโฆ" you pause, thinking of the right way to form your words, "...can I ask why?"ย
"She...wasn't the one for me," he hums. "I mean, things were fine at first, but she thought I wasn't...well, I decided we weren't good together, so I ended things."ย
You take that answer as an unwillingness to share the detailed reason of why he decided to end things with his girlfriend. Since you're in no place to push his obvious boundaries, you relax into your seat again and try to keep the conversation going without increasing the already settling awkwardness.ย
"People usually assume it's hardest on the person who got broken up with. But I know what it's like to end a relationship. It's not easy. I think you're really strong for making that call."ย
"That's right, you broke up with your boyfriend three years ago," Seungmin reminds himself. "I don't know much about your ex, but from what you've told me, he wasn't exactly kind."ย
"Not really. Sounds like your ex wasn't exactly kind either."ย
"Yeah, not really," he admits with a chuckle, glancing at you with at least some form of an honest smile. "Damn, we really know how to pick em, don't we?"ย
The atmosphere between you is warming up in a way that feels effortless. The more you talk, the more you share, the more natural the closeness becomes. Being close to Seungmin is something youโre learning not to take lightly. For all his charm and outward confidence, heโs surprisingly guarded when it comes to his personal life. Heโs great at small talk, professional, polished, always knowing the right thing to say. But letting people in? Thatโs rare.ย
So being someone he trusts, someone he opens up to even a little, feelsโฆspecial.ย
The car hums gently beneath you as you ride along, the snow outside catching the streetlights in passing glints. Between stoplights and quiet pauses in the conversation, you glance out the window, content. Seungmin asks about your last photoshoot, if your shifts at the smoothie shop are finished, and if youโre still thinking about applying elsewhere. He keeps the questions coming - always about you.
But when you try to ask about him, he redirects, shifts the topic, or tosses out a half-answer before moving on. Youโve started to pick up on the subtle way he dodges. He may seem laid-back, but youโre beginning to understand his tells. Seungmin doesnโt like to be seen too clearly. And yet, here he is, letting you in just enough. Just a little.ย
Youโre only a couple stops from the restaurant when you glance out the window.ย
And then you see him.
Itโs instantaneous. The moment your eyes register his silhouette, something in your chest clenches tight. Your breath catches before you even realize whatโs happening. You canโt breathe.ย
Seungmin continues sharing about his desire to have an office karaoke night, but all sound is muffled inside your ears. You're suddenly very aware of where you are in space and what's happening around you. Every time Seungmin's elbow moves or his hand slides over the steering wheel, your whole body jerks. Your eyes stayed glued to the figure outside the car, sipping on something definitely illegal and laughing it up with a group of scruffy looking guys.ย
His hair, his face, his arms, his hands, his mouth the way it moves when he speaks. It's all too familiar and it's all coming back like being hit by a three year long train.ย
Daz.ย
You thought you had emotionally prepared for the day you would inevitably see him on the street. You two live in the same city after all. But clearly, you were not ready.ย
From the outside, nothing looks amiss. You seem calm, collected. But when Seungmin finally pulls into the parking spot and turns to say something, his gaze lands on youโand freezes.
Your cheeks are flushed, not from the weather but from pure adrenaline. You havenโt blinked. You havenโt breathed. Your lips are a flat, colorless line. Youโre rigid, barely presentโexcept for the slight movement in your throat every few seconds as your body struggles to remember how to inhale.ย
"โ___?โ Seungmin says your name carefully, almost in a whisper. โHey, ___, look at me.โ
But you donโt.
When his hand enters your peripheral vision, you flinch like you've been struck. A gasp tears from your throat as you slap his hand away on instinct, chest heaving as you recoil, curling toward the door. Your fingers clutch the safety handle with white-knuckled force, your shoulder pressed hard against the cold window like itโs the only thing keeping you upright.
Seungmin stares at you in stunned silenceโheart breaking, hands still.
"It's just me. It's okay." But no matter how many times Seungmin gently mutters to you, nothing feels okay.
Talking about Daz had already stirred things up - old memories creeping in, raw emotions resurfacing like bruises you thought had faded. You could still hear the words, feel the heaviness, remember the reasons you left and the parts of yourself you lost along the way. And then, to look out the window and see him, laughing, carefree, untouched by everything he put you through, was like pouring salt into wounds youโd only just managed to cover.
It ripped something open.
Seungmin doesnโt say anything right away. He just sits there, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he looks down at his hand and watches the faint red imprint bloom across the back of it. He doesn't flinch or pull it away. He just studies it, like he's trying to make sense of what it means.
"___, you're okay. I'm not gonna hurt you." He carefully shows you his palms, offering you his hands before trying to touch you again.ย
You nod quickly, still breathless, but beginning to register where you are. Thatโs something.
โBreathe with me, ___,โ Seungmin says softly, guiding you through slow, steady breaths - in through your nose, out through your mouth. You follow his lead, even though the panic still pulses through your veins like electricity, raw and relentless.
His hand finds your elbow, grounding you with the gentlest squeeze. You donโt pull away this time, so he leaves it there.
โCan you tell me what you need right now?โ
โRemind me what weโre doing,โ you whisper, voice trembling.
โIโm taking you to dinner, remember? Lamb skewers because theyโre my favorite. And yours is fruit, right?โ
โYeah.โ
โI like fruit too. Iโll pick some up later. How does that sound?โ
โYeah.โ Your grip loosens on the safety handle, just enough to reach out and take his hand. Your fingers are cold, but you unbuckle yourself and draw in a deeper breath. โKeep talking to me. Please.โ
โOkay, umโฆโ Seungmin wets his lips, searching for something to keep your focus steady. โI fell on my ass this morning.โ
Your head lifts slightly. โWhat?โ
โYeah, I wasnโt looking where I was going and stepped on a patch of ice. Just bam! Flat on my ass.โ
A watery gasp slips from you, part laugh, part sob. โDid it hurt?โ
โOh, absolutely. My pride took the biggest hit. Pretty sure I cracked the sidewalk too,โ he says with a small chuckle.
But when he glances over and sees tears sliding down your cheeks again, his smile falters. โWait, did I say something wrong?โ
You shake your head, burying your face in your hands as fresh sobs break free. โNo,โ you croak, voice soft and broken. โItโs justโฆ it mustโve hurt a lot to fall like that. Iโm sorry you fell. Falling downโฆ it really hurts, Seungmin. It hurts so much.โ
His expression softens, and without saying a word, he squeezes your hand just a little tighter.
In a moment of somethingโinstinct, maybe, or something deeper Seungmin canโt quite nameโhe gently pulls you into his lap. Your body folds against his as he tucks your head into his shoulder, cradling you close, murmuring soft reassurances into your hair.
โItโs okay now. I know it hurts, but Iโve got you. Youโre safe. I promise.โ
He shouldnโt be surprised by the raw emotion still rolling off you in wavesโpeople react in all kinds of ways after panic hitsโbut heโs never seen anyone cry this hard over something that, on paper, was supposed to be funny. It makes his chest ache for you.
His hand moves in slow circles over your back while the other strokes your hair, grounding you in the present. The way your legs settle around his waist and your body melts into his chest makes it easier to breathe. You cling to his warmth like itโs the only thing tethering you to earth.
Itโs so different from anything youโve felt before. His touch, his words, his presence. Nothing like the cold aftermath of your exโs affection. Seungminโs arms wrap around you now and then, pulling you into soft, steady hugs that calm your trembling body piece by piece. You donโt even realize how much youโve needed this kind of safety until now.
Eventually, after a few minutes and one final deep breath, you push off his shoulder to sit up, the top of your head brushing the roof of his car.
โโฆSorry,โ you whisper, trying to shift back into your seat.
But Seungminโs hands remain at your waist. โStay here. Just for a little longer. Youโre still calming down.โ
โSorry,โ you mumble again, quieter this time.
He shakes his head, eyes gentle. โWhy do you keep apologizing? You didnโt do anything wrong.โย
He opens the lid to his middle console and pulls out a spare napkin. After wrapping it around his finger, he carefully uses it to dry the line of tears on your cheeks. Then he wraps it around your nose.ย
"Blow."ย
It's a little embarrassing, but you're not in a position to turn his kindness away. So you blow.ย
"There we go. Better?"ย
You nod, sniffling when he tosses the napkin away and brushes the hair from your face.ย
Seungmin sighs, relaxing into his seat and dragging his hands around your waist. "Just breathe for a moment. We're not in any rush. Take all the time you need."ย
You donโt mind taking a little extra time to steady yourself. What really has your heart racing isnโt just the emotional aftermath of seeing your ex. It's the fact that Seungmin pulled you into his lap without hesitation, and now youโre here, nestled against him, completely flustered.
Because the way heโs looking at youโฆ itโs not casual. Itโs not friendly. Itโs like youโre the most important thing in his world and heโs silently made it his mission to protect you.
And then, there it is. A flicker in his expression. Something small, but you catch it. A shift behind his eyes, in the tension of his jaw. Like something just clicked into place for him. He doesnโt say anything, but you can tell. Seungmin just realized something heโs not ready to admit out loud.ย
"___, do you wanna go back to my place?"ย
"Huh?"ย
"I don't really feel like eating out anymore. Should we just order to go and eat at my place instead?"ย
Really, you should give this more thought. But your mind and body are so exhausted. If this was anyone else, you would have had to force yourself to think rationally, but since it's Seungmin, you feel safe letting your guard drop completely.
"Sure. That sounds nice."ย
::ย
His apartment isnโt quite what you imagined for a CEO who drives such a luxurious car. Itโs surprisingly modestโclean, minimal, almost understated. The kind of place that doesnโt flaunt wealth but still feels intentional. Out back, you spot scorch marks in the grass through the window. Youโre dying to ask what happened, but youโre not sure youโre close enough yet to pry.
Seungmin steps in behind you and gently brushes past. โHang on one sec.โ
He disappears into the closet and returns with a pair of spare slippers. Kneeling in front of you, he places them at your feet and helps you slip them on. Theyโre a few sizes too big, but theyโre warm and ridiculously soft.
โAll good?โ he asks, looking up at you with a small smile.
You nod. โYeah. Good.โ
His smile grows just a bit. โGood.โ
He makes his way to the living room with your food in hand and you follow.ย
There's a chance Seungmin was smiling at the size difference of your feet in his shoes and the way you shuffle across the floor in an attempt not to trip over them. But then again, he could have been smiling at anything.ย
"Do you like sauce?"ย
"Mhm," you nod politely, now sitting on the couch with hands folded in your lap.ย
Seungmin glances at your posture. Your back straight, feet flat, like you're waiting for permission just to exist in his space. His ex had made herself at home without a second thought, treating his apartment like it was hers from day one.
You're nothing like her. Still, some part of him had habitually expected you to be instantly comfortable.ย
"Hey," he says gently, a quiet smile tugging at his lips. "You can relax, you know."ย
"Sorry," you apologize, as if the word is on standby on your tongue.ย
Then again, he wasn't expecting to be this awkward himself. Suddenly, Seungmin drops his task of preparing the food and turns to face you on the couch.ย
"Don't apologize to me anymore. You're always saying that word."ย
He's annoyed. He seems really annoyed. Shut up.ย
โSorry. I meanโโ you flinch, catching yourself and pressing your lips together. โOkay.โ
โI just meantโฆ you donโt have to be so professional around me,โ Seungmin says, softer now, like heโs trying not to scare you off.
โOkayโฆโ you say again, more hesitant this time, eyes blinking slowly like youโre trying to decode what he really means.
What is happening? Seungminโs always been composed, articulate. The kind of guy who knows exactly how to make people feel at ease. But now youโre sitting on his couch, in his apartment, and he canโt seem to string a clear thought together. Ever since he wrapped you in his arms, heart pressed to yours, something's shifted.ย
โLook, ___,โ he says, finally meeting your gaze, โI really like spending time with you. Itโs kind of crazy how easy it is to talk to you. I donโt usually feel that way around people. You make me feel comfortableโฆ so I just want to make sure you feel that way too. With me.โย
"I am comfortable."ย
"Are you?"ย
"Yeah," you answer, shyly tucking your hair behind your ear. "I have a habit of saying sorry. I'll try not to say it so much since it bothers you."ย
Just the way you said it makes Seungmin think you've had to say things like that to your ex far too often. The realization sinks in quickly, and without meaning to, he finds himself developing an even deeper resentment for the word sorry.ย
โNo, Iโm not nitpicking,โ Seungmin says gently. โI just want you to feel good around me. Like you donโt have to apologize for anything. What I mean is, your ex was a jerk, and Iโd never treat you like that. Forget everything else, I want to be close to you. Closer than we are now. I justโฆ I donโt really know how to go about it. I havenโt been single in a while, so I might be rusty when it comes to this sort of thing.โย
His words hang in the air, warm and hesitant. And as your mind works to translate what exactly heโs trying to say, you find yourself stuck on that one part. Closer than we are now.ย
That could mean anything.
And sitting here next to him on his couch, alone in his apartment, with the hour slipping later and later, youโre not sure your brain is capable of taking it platonically.
โWhat sort of thing?โย
He carefully inches closer to you on the couch, placing a hand behind you and leaning in just that little bit more. With absolutely no warning, he leans into you and places a small kiss on your cheek.ย
"This probably feels random, but I've liked you since I met you, so it's not really random at all."ย
Your lungs fill slowly and then you shakily exhale, watching him carefully. Thoughts swim behind your eyes, thoughts Seungmin would give anything to read.ย
"What about your ex?" you ask quietly.ย
"My ex was a controlling, emotionally manipulative, dishonest bitch. You're nothing like her," he assures you. "You're human."ย
"Seungmin," he manages to pull a small, breathless chuckle from your lungs.ย
You hold your breath after saying his name, fighting the part of you that wants to fall head first into whatever this could end up being. "You just broke up. And yeah she was a controlling, emotionally manipulative, dishonest bitch, but...you just broke up."ย
"Two whole weeks ago, what's your point?"ย
He gives you a simple, devastatingly beautiful smirk and tilts his head so you have no choice but to notice how undeniably adorable his bangs are flopping over his eyes like that.ย
"The point is you're still healing."ย
โYou broke up with your ex three years ago and youโre still healing,โ he says softly, brushing his fingers against your hand. Thereโs something shimmering in his eyes, a flicker of emotion threatening to spill over. โI donโt want to wait until Iโm fully okay, because honestly? I donโt know if I ever will be. But with you...it feels like maybe Iโm getting there.โ
His honesty cleaves through your logic like a blade. Youโve always told yourself not to start something new as a way to patch over the past. Love born out of pain canโt be stable. It canโt be lasting.
โYou know I canโt fix everything,โ you murmur.
โI know,โ he says without hesitation. โBut maybe we could help each other feel less broken. You see me, and I feel like I see you too.โ He gently takes your hand, watching your face for permission before wrapping his fingers around yours. โI promise Iโll treat you with respect. Iโll make you laugh when you need it. Iโll sit with you when you cry. I want to take care of you, ___. Please let me.โ
His words tug at every frayed edge inside you. The vulnerability in his voice, the softness of his grip, the way he looks at you like youโre something precious - it all threatens to undo you.
You knew, eventually, youโd have to face this moment. Life doesnโt stop after heartbreak, and love doesnโt wait for perfect timing. But you never imagined someone like Seungmin would be the one holding out his hand. Heโs smart, emotionally present, endlessly kind, almost too perfect.ย
But thereโs something unspoken in his offer. If you let him hold you, youโll hold him too. Heโs not just a salve for your past. Heโs bleeding from his own wounds, and somehow, in each other, thereโs a strange sort of comfort that feels right, even if itโs not forever.
Maybe this wonโt last. But Seungmin is here now. And while timing might be cruel, heโs not.ย
"Iโฆ"ย
He's patient, eyes glued to you, wide and waiting.ย
"...I'd really like that," as soon as you say it, you can't help but smile. "Take care of me, Seungmin. And I'll take care of you too."ย
He mimics your smile, sighing deeply when you fall forward over his shoulders. His hug is a warm, safe place, and when his arms wrap around your middle, they're a strong fortress for the weak walls of your heart.ย
His lips press to your ear and he whispers to you with the most sincerity you've ever heard from anyone, "I promise I'll protect you from whatever, ___. Lean on me and I'll hold you as tightly as you need me to, okay?"ย
"Okay."ย
::ย
Never once did either of you mention the titles boyfriend or girlfriend. And much to your initial relief, Seungmin hasn't been acting as if you own the titles. Although he is more openly attentive and he's gotten more physically affectionate, he hasn't shown you off or gone around telling everyone about your new relationship dynamic. Which is nice.ย
You feel much more at ease knowing Seungmin is okay with you hanging around. He's pulled you next to him on more than one occasion, commented on your modeling as more than just your producer, and it's become a regular expectation to eat together almost every day.ย
Outside of the public eye, the two of you are pretty much the same as before except you spend a surprising amount of time at Seungmin's apartment. You've gotten comfortable napping on his couch - he never lets you sleep in his bedroom. As much as he insists he's over his ex, little things remind you he's not completely okay. He also keeps your favorite snacks in bulk in his pantry and a spare change of your clothes in the top drawer of his dresser.ย
On the other hand, it's been a few weeks since you startedโฆwhatever you started together. It does bother you somewhat that there's no title for your relationship. You're used to being tied to the other person by either a title or at least some kind of label.ย
Suppose the absence of a title is significantly less stressful. You both know that neither of you are seeing other people in the meantime. That's what matters.ย
And while the emotional comfort is nice, you wonder why he hasn't attempted any more romantic affiliation when you know it's a core love language for him. Is it because of your lack of a girlfriend title or does he really only see this as a way to comfort himself since his last relationship ended so suddenly?ย
You're not materialistic and you're not a hoe. Butโฆit's confusing how much it feels like you're in a romantic relationship, just without the romance.ย
He doesn't really like you as much as he said. Shut up.ย
He doesn't think you're sexy. Shut up.ย
You're not as pretty as his ex, that's why. Shut up!ย
Hyunjin greets you when you step inside the building, a welcoming grin and his trademark jazz hands.ย
"Babe! You're early today!"ย
"Early bird catches the worm, right? Is Seungmin here yet?"ย
"He was," Hyunjin says while watching the front doors. "I think he went on a coffee run or something. At least, I asked him to bring me back a vanilla latte when I saw him leaving."ย
You reply simply and nod, not too much worry on the surface of your casual expression. Hyunjin sits you down and starts on your makeup while you discreetly send Seungmin a good morning text.ย
You're almost done being prepped for the photoshoot when the front doors part and in walks your producer with a single cup of coffee in his hand.ย
He enters in slow motion, checking his Rolex like the flex that it is and running tempting fingers through his silky hair. His suit is pressed and dark and makes him look built and powerful. The sheer authority he exudes is unfairly sexy, every step he takes being your new favorite because it's bringing him that much closer to where you are.ย
Itโs taken you three years being single and three months of being Seungminโs model, but youโre finally to the point where you feel ready for something really serious. And you want that something serious with Seungmin.ย
"Hi guys," he greets with a confident nod and hands Hyunjin his coffee.ย
"Bless you, Kim Seungmin," the stylist gawks. He takes a sip and you swear he would fall on his knees for Seungmin if he asked.ย
"___, I need to talk to you before you leave. When the shoot is over, will you come into my office?"ย
"Of course," you have no reason to refuse him.ย
The shoot goes well. All the usual things you expect, bright lights, a flashing camera, Hyunjin flirting with the camera guy. You've become rather comfortable being here like this. Several issues of the latest magazine have been published and, as weird as it is to think about, you appear on several pages. As far as you understand, the magazine has been well accepted and local department store sales have increased at a satisfying rate.ย
It doesn't take long to finish today. Thankfully, you only had four changes and very minor makeup touch ups throughout. Hyunjin finished his coffee about half way through and grew continually more grumpy as the shoot went on, but it was humorous. You know he could never hurt a fly but the way he talks big game is entertaining for sure.ย
As everyone wraps up the day, you finish changing back into street clothes and make your way to Seungmin's main office.ย
Knock knock~ย
โCome in,โ you hear him through the wood and peek your head inside. He smiles when he sees you and immediately stands to usher you past the threshold. โ___, hey, are you done for the day?"ย
"Mhm. You wanted to see me?"ย
"Yes. Come on in, please. I need to discuss your contract with you.โย
This is producer Seungmin. Heโs in work mode right now. So, you decide to hold onto your work persona for a few more minutes.ย ย
"Right. What do you need from me?" You take your place in front of his desk while Seungmin sits back down, folding his hands politely and looking up at you.ย
"Your seasonal position as our winter model will end come the 31st of this month. The company will move its focus to summer and we'll start interviewing and hiring models for the summer line." He pauses, waiting to see if you already can tell where he's going with this. "I know you said before that you wouldn't consider being a summer model, but now that you've been here for some time, I thought it couldn't hurt to ask you again. ___, what would you say if I offered you a full time position?"ย
"For the summer?" you clarify.ย
"For until you decide you don't want to model anymore,โ he says with much anticipation. โFull time means this would be your primary job. You'd get a pay raise and more photoshoots on your calendar, not to mention you would have access to company benefits, so a personal nutritionist and dietary specialist, gym membership, paid days off, discounts, a retirement fund."ย
You slowly nod, the list ever growing in your mind, and while theyโre all great things, so far none of that stuff can beat down your anxiety about modeling for a summer wardrobe.ย
"That's a lot of benefits."ย
He drinks in your body language and translates your need for reassurance. Of course, he's more than willing to be that for you.ย
Seungmin quickly moves around his desk and comes to you, gently taking your hands and interlocking your fingers. The distance between your bodies shrinks until he's so close you fear he can hear your heartbeat picking up pace. The Work Seungmin mask falls to the ground as he watches your face, eyes bouncing from your hair to your lips and back to your eyes.ย
"If you don't take the job, our relationship won't change,โ he whispers to you, โso don't worry about that. I'm offering you this position as your producer, because I honestly believe you're an amazing worker and model.โย
"Really?"ย
"Yes. And the public loves you too by the way,โ he adds as a final attempt to entice you. โBut if you donโt want to, just say so. It's your choice. I wonโt be mad, I promise."ย
The fact that he made that promise without any implication from you that thatโs what you were afraid of gives you the surety to say whatโs on your mind. Your heart beats a thousand times per second, being this close to him, sharing the same air, meeting his gaze, feeling secure holding his hands. If you werenโt so caught up in his proposition, you could very easily find yourself caught up in his ambiance.ย
"I just don't feel comfortable doing the summer line. I'm sorry."ย
"Thatโs okay,โ he immediately responds, nodding along with you and smiling in spite of your no doubt disappointing answer. โThanks for being willing to model the New Year line. You were amazing and perfect."ย
"Thank you for the opportunity." You step back to bow very respectfully.ย
He tries to keep a straight face, but you're just so damn adorable to him and he doesn't have the will or resolve to keep his adoration for you to himself.ย
"Now that all the professional mess is out of the way," he sings, "I have something very important to tell you."ย
"What is it?"ย
A shy smile starts creeping across his lips and he slowly sneaks his hands to your waist to pull you close again. He doesn't blush often, but when he does it's beyond adorable and you feel like taking a polaroid so you can capture and keep it forever.ย
"I missed you today," he confesses. "Like a lot. So much I thought I might die."ย
That's it? That's his something important? It flatters you to the point of losing your breath. And it's not even his words that have your lungs spasming and your toes curling in on themselves.
Seungmin has complete disregard for the outside world. Right here, right now, it's just you and him. Everything else is inconsequential.ย
His palms slide smoothly up the curve of your waist. They slip to your lower back, mapping your measurements and committing them to memory as they go. The second he has the opportunity, he jerks you forward, your chest colliding with his body and forcing you to stumble into him.ย
Looking into his eyes now, your hands clutching at his chest in tight fists for balance, you hear his heartbeat. Rapid and unsteady, pounding beneath your palms.ย
"I missed you too." Your whispered confession only proves to make his heart beat that much louder. "Actually, I need to talk to you about something too. Can we have dinner at your place or mine?"ย
"What's wrong?"ย
"Nothing's wrong," you quickly assure him. "I just...have something on my mind and wanna talk to you about it."ย
He seems slightly nervous, which is understandable. But nevertheless, Seungmin nods and agrees to have dinner at his place tonight. He even offers to pick up your favorite sushi on the way home, a gentleman's gesture as if to say he's not worried about your upcoming conversation.ย
But maybe he should be. You're not exactly sure how this is gonna go.ย
::ย
"What did you do?" you immediately ask when you step into his humble abode, the scent of lemon and pine filling your nostrils.ย
He chuckles shamelessly, "What are you talking about?"
"It's so...clean."ย
Cleaner than you've ever seen his place before. Even last weekend it wasn't this nice. Not to say that Seungmin is a slob, actually the opposite is true. But ever since he broke up with his ex, his apartment seemed to be taking most of the hit in terms of hygiene.
But now. Wow.ย
"You know you didn't have to clean for me."ย
"I know. I cleaned for me, well, for both of us," he shrugs. "Besides, it's nice to have a clean apartment again. Feels like things are back to normal finally."ย
Seungmin follows you into the kitchen where you begin handing out plates and cups for dinner. He rubs a shy hand over his neck and mocks his earlier shameless chuckle.ย
"I'm feeling a lot better in general," he says simply. His eyes on your profile suggest you're the reason why, but he leaves that comment silent, hoping you'll jump in with similar feelings toward him.ย
"I'm really happy to hear that!" You offer him a gentle smile and make him carry half the sushi to the living room where you'll eat together. "Come on, let's eat. I'm starving."ย
Conversations with Seungmin are easy. Words spill from your lips without hesitation, and he listens like every syllable matters. Even when your cheeks are puffed out with dragon sushi rolls and soy sauce, there's an effortless comfort between youโone you haven't found with anyone else.
That has to mean something, doesnโt it? The longer you delay bringing up what you came here to say, the more tempting it becomes to just stay in this limboโhovering between friends and something more. But as Seungmin nearly chokes on his fried rice from one of your offhand sarcastic remarks, doubling over with laughter, you realize something: no, this isnโt enough anymore. You donโt want to hover in the in-between. You want more. Youโre ready for more.
After the meal, Seungmin moves to clean up, and you take a deep breath, rising from your seat with your plate in hand.
โSo, about what I wanted to talk abโOh!โ you laugh as Seungmin spins around and bumps right into you at the kitchen threshold.
โSorry,โ you both say at once, your chuckles overlapping.
The two of you go back and forth, side to side, trying to avoid a collision but you're too in sync. Every time you move left, so does he. So you move right, and so does he.ย
"Wanna dance?" he jests, making you smile again.ย
"I'd love to."ย
It was a joke. You were playing along as one does when awkwardness threatens to rear its ugly head. It was supposed to be a passing reply and then you continued on to the kitchen to help wash dishes.ย
So, imagine your surprise when Seungmin suddenly snatches the dishes from your hands only to toss them aside.ย
"M'lady," he bows.ย
"Huh?"ย
But he just laughs and sweeps you into his arms, one hand clutched in yours and the other wrapped around your lower back. His feet begin gliding across the kitchen tile and you have no choice but to follow his lead. With a gasp, you grip his shoulder with your other hand and hang on for dear life.ย
You're very much out of your comfort zone here, but you don't have the will to stop this, not when Seungmin looks so domestically happy.ย
While you're struggling not to fall flat on your face, Seungmin is laughing. Precious, beautiful giggles like specks of golden music filling the space and landing softly against your ears.ย
You step on his foot more than once but he doesn't say anything, despite your relentless apologizing. Dancing has never been your strong suit, but somehow Seungmin makes it enjoyable. Because he doesn't dance well either.ย
There's no music, but that doesn't deter Seungmin. He fills the silence with soft la la la's and ba da da's to guide your terrible rhythm. And no matter how stiff or how unconventional your dance moves, he doesn't take his eyes off your ever growing smile. That smile of yours...that's his victory.ย
He dances you towards the living room, getting faster and faster despite your inability to keep up with him. You gasp again when he suddenly spins you around only to bring you back to himself. His hands catch you by the waist and your world comes to a sudden halt. Instinctively, you grip his shirt as a lifeline when your chests collide, lost for breath, but so is he.ย
Everything is still for a moment. The funny part is that you don't even realize you're biting your lip in concentration. But damn, Seungmin does.ย
"You're a terrible dancer."ย
His comment breaks your daze. "So are you."ย
But your lack of skill must not mean too much considering his hips begin to sway naturally, enticing you to do the same. Soon enough, you're relaxing into a slow dance, one much easier to follow than whatever polka waltz quick step chaos you were swept into before. There's still a lack of music, but neither of you seem bothered by it.ย
You sigh, finally able to catch your breath. He holds onto you as if he'll always be here, and you're tempted to start believing in something totally reckless.ย
"So," Seungmin mutters gently through the hypnotic atmosphere intruding on your minds and hearts, "what do you need to talk to me about?"ย
Does he know? Can he read your mind? His smirk suggests he can.ย
"Umm, well, it's something I've been thinking about lately...about us," you start with fluttering eyelids.ย
"You have my complete and utter attention." Anyone can look at the focus in his eyes and tell he's being terrifyingly honest.ย
Rolling your lips, you prepare the rapid beating muscle in your chest for the rollercoaster you're willingly climbing into.
But as hard as you may try to be concise, everything tumbles out as an incoherent stutter due to nervousness and the admiring look in Seungmin's gaze. "I think thatโฆwell, I know that I really like you and having you with me like this is really amazing, but...I feel like we've been dancing around something for a while and--at least I've been and...I'm scared but also I don't want to ignore it anymore."ย
He smiles at you, innocent and ignorant. "What's that?"ย
You bravely peck his lips suddenly and he freezes, stunned completely motionless.ย
"The lack of romance in our romantic relationship. I mean, maybe I misunderstood what you meant when you said you wanted us to take care of each other and you didn't want a romantic relationship at all, but if I'm not wrong then I really really want--"ย
His lips are on you in an instant, a deep inhale through his nose to bring you as close as physically possible and take in every part of you he can in a single moment. Pulling you impossibly close to himself, it doesn't take much encouragement to get your arms around his shoulders.ย
He holds you steady there, supporting your body while his kiss makes a mess of your unsuspecting lips, milking every moment he can for everything it's worth because he's kissing you...finally.ย
Not that he means to compare you, because it's impossible to measure how much you mean to him against anyone or anything else, but damn, the way you make his heart feel so full after it's been so emptied. Just the fact that you initiated this by kissing him first and the delicate, shy way you kiss him back--it feels as though you want him to kiss you, as opposed to tolerating his affection, and that is so special to him for so many reasons.ย
When you decide to take a peak, you see his brow furrowed in intense concentration as his lips move professionally against your own. And when you push into his kiss, gripping his biceps to hang onto him, his expression reflects the absolute euphoria you instill in his bones, eyelids fluttering while closed tightly. Enamored by your wonderful person and ability to make him feel so strong yet so weak at the same time, Seungmin can't help but want you in every way possible.ย
Your eyes float shut, completely encased in the feeling of his arms picking you up and supporting under your legs. You're sitting on clouds.ย
Your kiss is separated only for a moment when Seungmin lowers onto the couch and proceeds to set you onto his lap, knees straddling him familiarly.
He sighs when your body relaxes into him, chest on chest, your cute little ass on his thighs. He never thought to appreciate the tremors of warmth one gets from supporting someone else's weight on their body but now, he's committed it to memory. He's slowly committing you to memory.ย
You haven't made out with anyone in three years but so far everything is basically the same. Desperate clinging of hands on hips and shoulders, sighs against kisses, nearly invisible smiles sneaked in-between delicate whispers of names and wishes.ย
"I've wanted to kiss you for so longโฆ"ย
"Why didn't you?โย
โI don't know. I'm an idiot.โย
"Your voice changed." You didn't mean to point it out, the words just spilled as you took in every detail of his being.ย
With lips still ghosting and bodies nearly floating, he smiles as if he's already aware that his voice dropped four octaves and it sends shivers down your spine.ย
"Is it a good change? You like it when my voice drops like this?"ย
You nod, pecking at his top lip to lead your two mouths back into a smooth rhythm. Like a dance you've been doing for years, you fall back into a comfortable pace.ย
"That's just what you do to me, ___. You're just amazing."ย
It's not his fault. It's yours. Because you're so goddamn irresistible to him and he can't help his human need to feel skin on skin, even if it's just his fingertips. His head gets high off the drug in your kiss, so his heart is all that's left to call the shots. And his heart has a direct line to his hands, they go where they feel you should be held.ย
You jerk when his palms slide under your top, onto the bare skin of your ribs. It doesn't matter how gentle he is, how soft his hands are, or how special his intentions. You can't help but squirm.ย
"Sorry," you immediately apologize when the kiss is forced to a premature stop, sighing in frustration at yourself.ย
His hands have already removed themselves, hovering over your body now. "No, I should have asked before I just stuck my hands under your shirt like that. I'm the one who's sorry."ย
"I just...I should say something."ย
"Okay, say whatever you need to, baby."ย
"This is the most romantic we've been since we became...okay, that's the thing. We promised to protect each other, but what does that mean?"ย
He flashes you a confused but willing smile. "What exactly are you asking me for?"ย
You swallow, fingers fidgeting with the loose strings of his sweatpants. With attempted courage, you look into his eyes and say, "A title."ย
There you said it. Good god, you're terrified. The last time you held a title, it was mistreated beyond forgiveness. And yet here you are, asking for it once again. While some may say you haven't learned anything, this is actually you proving it is possible to come out of a difficult and painful trauma stronger and more sure of what you deserve. Because this time you're asking for it from someone strong but gentle. Powerful but compassionate.
"But you're already my girlfriend."ย
"I am?"ย
He blinks at you. "Of course, you are. We've been dating for weeks now, ___, wasn't that obvious?"ย
You shrug, embarrassed. "We never said the words girlfriend and boyfriend, so I didn't know. I'm sorry."ย
He nods, gently stroking the hair beside your ear. "You don't need to be sorry. This is just the kind of stuff you learn about each other when you're in a relationship. I'll work on being more direct about stuff from now on, okay?"ย
His words relax you a bit, your legs falling lax across his lap and your hips rolling comfortably over his hips.ย
Up until this point, Seungmin has attempted to keep himself to himself, for the sake of your comfort of course. He knows you get nervous about that kind of stuff and he wants to respect you more than anything because he feels like your ex never did. You're such a special person to him, more so than he's willingly admitted, and while you may not be aware of the mental battle he fights, you must be aware of how desperate he is for you.ย
"Okay. Umm, Seungmin?"ย
"Yeah?" he responds casually, still allowing you to sit prettily on his lap.ย
"What do I need to work on?"ย
He taps his chin and hums thoughtfully. "Taking initiative maybe? You're brave, I know you are, so go after what you want. Whether that's taking up some random stranger's offer to be a model--" you chuckle when he winks at you, "--or calling out your coworker for dumping their workload on you all the time. You know you deserve better, so you just need to trust yourself."ย
"Trust myself," you repeat quietly, "go after what I wantโฆ"ย
You lean forward to kiss him again, small fingers spread across his cheeks and jawline, guiding him into a sensual and tasteful rhythm. Only this time, your body rocks in time with your lips and your tongue flicks over his bottom lip, as if to tease desire into his heart and soul.ย
He instantly reacts to taste you fully. It's hard not to smile when he parts his lips for you and releases an involuntary whine. It does loads for your confidence though, giving you that extra something needed to run your fingers through his hair.ย
He's hesitating. Even though you initiated this, he's the one holding back. You can feel his fingers fidgeting with the edge of your sweater, slowly dipping beneath to feel your skin and then quickly pulling the fabric back down again.ย
"___, we don't have to do anything you don't want to," he pulls away from your lips to say, "please don't feel like you have to do anything just because I advised you to take more initiative."ย
"I'm trusting myself and I trust you. I'm going to go after what I want. I want this. I want you, Kim Seungmin."ย
โYou want me?โย
โSo much.โย
You have to be aware by now of Seungmin's desire to protect those he loves. It's a part of his natural person, his overall character. The fact that you feel not only safe with him but that you're willing to expose your heart and body to him in this way means more to him than you realize at this moment.ย
"Should we take this to the bedroom then?"ย
"Your bedroom?" You're not necessarily nervous to be taking this step, you're more so surprised since Seungmin usually makes you avoid that space. "Are you sure?"ย
Instead of answering, Seungmin scoops his hands under your thighs and stands up, bringing you along with him.ย
As he walks to the back, you feel a sudden sense of wonder. He's so wonderful. The way he smiles so genuinely at you, the way he gently sits you on the bed, the way he kisses your forehead as he guides you to strip and lay down beneath him.ย
He sighs at the feeling, allowing you to hold him as close as you wish, resting some of his weight onto you and filling himself with your scent and taste until all that's left is you. You and your beautifully addictive essence.ย
As you kiss the eagerness between your bodies grows. Seungmin strips, giving you the first look at his body and how mesmerizingly gorgeous he is.ย
He places a small pillow underneath your lower back and one behind your head, brushing your hair from your face and leaving a few grateful and sensual kisses to your temple.ย ย
"Ready?" he asks, already completely breathless.
"Yes, please," you reply with another kiss to his face, combing your fingers into his hair and brushing back his bangs so you can see that beautiful forehead.ย
But he doesn't move. He hovers over you there, feeling the urge to finally have you, but he can't make himself rock forward.ย
"Sorry," he tries to play it off with a chuckle and takes another deep breath. "Okay, here we go."ย
You gasp, subconsciously spreading your thighs and closing your eyes as you drink in the feeling of his intimacy.ย
But he doesn't move.ย
"Damn it, I'm sorry," he sighs, rolling to his back beside you, heels of his palms pressed to his eyes.ย
Confused, with your body suddenly exposed and abandoned, your limbs curl in on themselves.ย
His head shakes back and forth, frustrated and haunted by the disturbing sound of her voice echoing throughout his thoughts.ย
"Seungmin?" You carefully roll to your side, legs closing and body cold without his warmth and weight over you. "What's wrong?"ย
His arms drop to the sheets, punching the mattress in utter distress as a stray tear slides it's way down the side of his face. Your entire chest sinks into your stomach.ย
"I can't get her out of my head."ย
Somehow you know immediately who her is.ย
"You're thinking about your ex while in bed with me?"ย
"No!" he instantly corrects you, rolling to face you on his side too. "No, not like that at all."ย
"Then what's wrong?"ย
Remembering his promise to be more direct, Seungmin takes a moment to catch his breath, sitting up against the headboard.ย
"The truth is I dumped my ex after I found out she cheated on me."ย
"Oh noโฆ"ย
This is news. You were under the impression he dumped her because she was mean or, as Seungmin said before, she wasn't the one. Kneeling beside him on the bed now, a gentle hand reaching out to hold his fingers, you let him confess what he's kept from you up until this point, judgment free.ย
"Apparently, my ex cheated because I didn't, umm, I couldn't satisfy her. And now I'm really worried that..." His fingers fold around your hand but it's not lovingly. He's scared.ย
"Why didn't you tell me before?"ย
"I was embarrassed." He shrugs, eyes finding yours again but they're past the point of misty. "I thought I could get over it myself because in my heart I knew it didn't have anything to do with me. She was just a cruel, unloyal bitch." His expression breaks, lips turned downward and head falling back like a thousand pounds. "But she still got to me and now I've ruined our first time together because I can't get her words out of my head."ย
You were haunted by the damage your ex left on your soul and heart for three years. Seungmin has barely had three months to heal from the wounds his ex left behind. And while some may measure his wounds against others and judge him for not being able to get back on his feet himself, you know it's not that simple. When someone you trusted, someone you thought cared shows their true, ugly colors to you, it's a sight you carry with you no matter how heavy and uncomfortable the baggage. Not because you want to, god no. But because they left their red string of lies around your wrists and it's tied to whatever weight they decided to drop off the cliff.ย
Even with his eyes closed, Seungmin senses the shift in weight as you climb over his lap, arms slipping around his neck. Your entire body encases him in a hug and he folds his arms around you too. Nothing suggestive, nothing enticing, just a hug to hold one another while the lies from your pasts simmer away.ย
"I'm not sure exactly how to say this because I've never said it before but," you slowly pull away to look in his eyes, thumbs brushing beneath his eyes as you gently tell him, "you are the greatest man I've ever met in my entire life."ย
This manages to make him chuckle. He swallows his last few tears and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Thanks."ย
"I mean it! Fuck your ex. Don't really because you should do me instead, but forget about her. She doesn't deserve any part of you. Not your heart, not your attention, not your embarrassment, and certainly not your affection. You've already made me feel so good, baby, my body is literally shaking in anticipation for what you can do to me." You leave small pecks and butterfly kisses down his neck and across his collarbone, silently instructing him to sit back as you work your way down.ย
His chest starts to rise and fall again, his breath glitching when your mouth grazes across his skin.ย
"You're absolutely amazing, every inch of you."ย
And with every kiss, your lips cut through all that useless red string and all that weight, all those lies she used to crush his spirit just to make her black heart look less repulsive, it all disappears.ย
And then he just can't keep it inside anymore. When you return to his lips, it spills out, like a broken dam, or in your opinion, a beautiful waterfall.ย
"I'm so in love with you, ___. Desperately in love with you.โย
It's not weird. It's not awkward. It's not out of place at all. It makes sense. It makes perfect, euphoric sense.ย
"I'm in love with you too, Seungmin."ย
โPlease don't leave tonight."ย
You smile, resting your forehead on his shoulder as your body and heart attempts to process everything that's happening.ย
"I don't want to leave."ย
"Good."ย
It's strange. These are the kind of moments you read about in stories or see in movies. The guy isn't ever really voluntarily this caring, is he?ย
Well, at least you can say with certainty, Seungmin is.ย
"What do you think would have happened if my blind date hadn't stood me up that day?" you ask out of curiosity.ย
Seungmin pauses. "I don't know," he replies, scooting you closer, practically disappearing inside his safe, warm, and loving embrace. "I'm glad he did though. I owe everything to that guy."ย
Tags: Smut, groping, Mutual pining, phone sex, oral (f , m receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, fingering, begging, praise, soft dom Minho, tension snapping like a wire, domestic fluff, aftercare, post-sex vulnerability, tit play, friends to lovers
Word count: 8k
Summary: You always thought Minho was gayโso you never held back. Tiny tops, unfiltered stories, late-night cuddlesโฆ harmless, right?Until he sees you soaked through one day and finally snaps. And suddenly, your best friend isnโt looking at you like a friend anymore. Until one late-night phone call changed everything. Now youโre at his doorโno bra, no excuseโbuzzing from the sound of his voice and the filthy things he made you do. He opens the door. He sees you. And just like that, itโs over. The line is crossed.
This work contains mature themes, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
Youโd known Lee Minho since you were barely old enough to walk without holding onto his shirt.
Back then, he was just that loud kid who shared his snacks and shoved you into mud puddles. Now? He was your best friend. Constant. Loyal. Always down to pick you up when you were drunk or kill spiders or fake-boyfriend you out of awkward situations.
And alsoโtotally not into girls.
At least, thatโs what youโd always assumed.
He never talked about hookups. Never ogled girls. Never so much as blinked when you pranced around in your tiny shorts or ranted about your latest sex-related disaster. You figured he was either the most respectful man aliveโor playing for a different team.
So you got reckless. Comfortable.
And today?
You were about to find out just how wrong youโd been.
It started with the kitchen sink.
You were washing dishes, half-dancing to your playlist, wearing nothing but those soft cotton shorts and an oversized white tank with no bra underneath. Your wet hair clung to your neck, and you were humming through a verse when the faucet burstโliterallyโspraying a jet of cold water straight at your chest.
โFUCKโshit, fuckโโ You stumbled back, grabbing at the handle, slipping on the tile as water drenched you from neck to stomach.
And thatโs when Minho walked in.
โYo, I got the charger youโโ
He froze.
You blinked at him, soaked and panting, hair plastered to your cheeks.
Water trickled down the front of your now see-through top. The fabric clung to every inch of your skin. And your nipples? Standing out like full spotlight, front row through the sheer cotton. You had no idea though, no time to even think about it before he had appeared.
โOh.โ You laughed, awkward. โUmโhi. Broken faucet. Donโt mind the wet t-shirt contest.โ
He didnโt answer.
Just stood there.
Eyes glued to your chest, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring like he was trying to hold his breath.
Your smile faded.
โMin?โ
His gaze finally snapped to your face.
Too late.
You saw itโthe tension. The fire.
The unmistakable flicker of hunger.
And suddenly your stomach flipped.
โโฆMinho?โ
He swallowed hard, voice low. Rough.
โPut something on. Now.โ
You blinked. โWhat?โ
โI saidโโ His eyes dropped again before yanking back up. โGo change. Now. Before I do something really fucking stupid.โ
Your heart skipped.
Because that? That didnโt sound like your best friend.
You stood there in wet silence, your soaked top clinging to your skin like a second damn layer, Minho couldnโt meet your eyes.
He turned his back to youโturned his backโand gripped the edge of your countertop like he was grounding himself. His shoulders rose with each breath, tense as hell, like someone trying not to explode.
Youโd never seen him like this. Not with you.
โI wasnโtโMin, I didnโt meanโโ you stammered, brain short-circuiting. โI didnโt know you were coming over yet.โ
His voice was clipped. โYou knew the faucet was broken.โ
โI didnโt know it was gonna blast me in the tits!โ
Silence.
A beat.
Then, quietlyโso quietlyโyou heard it:
โJesus Christโฆโ
Thatโs when something finally clicked.
You looked down at yourselfโat the sheer fabric sticking to your breasts, nipples hard, outline of your curves totally exposed. And for the first time in all the years of being this careless around him, you suddenly felt self-conscious.
You reached for a dish towel and held it over your chest.
โโฆAre you mad at me?โ you asked, voice small.
โNo,โ he said quickly. Too quickly.
You stepped closer.
โThen whatโs going on?โ
He shook his head, still facing away. โYou wouldnโt get it.โ
โTry me.โ
He let out a breath that sounded more like a growl, and when he finally turned around, you caught it againโthat look. Raw, unfiltered restraint. His gaze flicked down to the towel youโd pressed to your chest, then back to your face.
You watched him like he was someone else.
Like the Minho you grew up with had peeled off his skin and left something sharper underneath. His jaw was tight, arms folded, eyes still avoiding yoursโbut you felt it now. That edge. That static charge that had been humming under the surface for who knows how long.
โIโll fix the faucet later,โ he muttered, stepping past youโcarefully. Like you were made of glass. Or fire.
You turned as he moved, towel still clutched to your chest.
โYou didnโt answer me,โ you said.
โAbout what?โ
โWhy you told me to change.โ
He stopped at the door.
Didnโt turn around.
For a long second, you thought he wouldnโt say anything at all.
Then, quietly, he replied:
โBecause if Iโd kept looking at you, I donโt think I wouldโve kept my mouth shut.โ
Your heart slammed against your ribs.
And when he walked out of the kitchen, just like that, it was like the whole room shifted.
The air changed.
Everything felt warmer. Tighter. Thinner.
You didnโt move for a while. Not until the cold in your soaked top finally made your skin sting.
โธป
The rest of the day passed weirdly.
Minho didnโt leave, of course. He stayed like he always did, lounging on your couch, bickering over what to order for dinner, side-eyeing you every time you grabbed your phone.
But the energy between you?
Completely different.
He didnโt look at you the way he usually did. Didnโt tease you like normal. Didnโt even touch you when he passed you the remoteโjust tossed it like it might burn him otherwise.
And you couldnโt stop thinking about his voice in the kitchen.
โI donโt think I wouldโve kept my mouth shut.โ
Kept it shut about what, exactly?
What he was thinking?
What he wanted to do?
You were still thinking about it when you came out of your room later in a sleep shirt that barely skimmed your thighs. No bra. Nothing underneath. The usual you-in-your-element vibe.
Exceptโฆ this time?
You caught him looking.
Not accidentally.
Not briefly.
He lookedโand kept looking.
From your legs to your hips to the faint hint of nipple under the thin fabric, straight to your face.
Your breath caught.
He didnโt apologize.
He didnโt blink.
He just raised a browโalmost like a dareโand said, โYour sinkโs still fucked.โ
You nodded, slowly.
โSo are you gonna fix it?โ
He stood up.
And as he passed by, way too close, his hand brushed the curve of your lower back.
Just a touch.
Too casual to be called a grab. Too deliberate to be innocent.
And then he was gone again, heading into the kitchen.
Like it hadnโt just happened at all.
โธป
He always crashed in your bed. That wasnโt new.
Late movie nights, sleepy arguments, limbs tangled and breathing syncedโjust best friends, just comfort.
Except tonight?
You felt everything.
His warmth at your back. The heaviness of his arm draped around your waist. The intentional silence of him pretending to be asleep, even though you could feel how tense he was.
Youโd turned off the lights twenty minutes ago, but your body was still buzzing. Hyperaware of every inch of skin not covered by your flimsy sleep shirt. Every inch of him pressed against you in the dark.
And you knewโyou knewโhe hadnโt stopped thinking about earlier.
About how youโd looked dripping wet, nipples hard, shirt transparent and clinging to your curves like a second skin.
You shouldโve felt awkward.
But instead, your thighs were clenched.
And thenโHis hand moved.
Just a little.
At first, it was nothing. A small adjustment. His fingers splayed over your stomach like they were stretching in his sleep. But then his palm drifted higher.
Slow.
Barely grazing the underside of your breast through your shirt.
Your breath caught.
His did too.
Like he just realized what his body was doing.
He didnโt pull away.
Not immediately.
His fingers twitched, tips brushing right beneath the curve of your boobโsoft, tentative. Still pretending it was nothing. That he was asleep. That this wasnโt completely out of bounds.
Your chest rose and fell faster now.
He still didnโt speak.
But his hand stayed there.
Hovering. Teasing. The edge of a full touch, like he was testing himself. Or punishing himself.
And you?
You didnโt stop him.
You didnโt even breathe.
You just pressed back into him slightlyโso slightlyโand felt the undeniable shape of him, hard and restrained against the swell of your ass.
He exhaled shakily behind you.
Shit.
Youโd never heard him make a sound like that before. Not around you.
Not around anyone.
You didnโt move for a while.
Didnโt even blink. Not when his fingers hovered beneath your breast, not when you felt his cock pressed firm and restrained against the curve of your ass. You just stayed stillโheart hammering, skin burningโlike your body was listening for his next move.
But when none cameโฆ
You shifted.
Just a little. Barely a breath of movement. Just enough to arch your back, push your chest forward, and guide the soft swell of your breast right into his palm.
His fingers twitched again.
But he didnโt pull away.
He didnโt say your name. Didnโt jerk back in shock or guilt. He just stayed thereโcompletely still behind you, breathing shallow and slow like he was holding onto sleep as a defense.
Your nipples were hard beneath the thin cotton, the heat of his palm sinking through the fabric like an electric brand. It was barely a touchโbut it felt filthy. Loaded. More intimate than anything youโd done with someone you were actually sleeping with.
And still, you stayed quiet.
Still.
Sleeping.
His thumb brushed the soft curve below your nipple. Just once. Barely there. Like a reflex.
And this time, his hips shifted too.
The press of him against your ass sharpenedโmore deliberate now. Less restrained. Like his body had stopped asking for permission and started taking what you werenโt stopping.
His hand tightenedโslightly.
He was pretending to be asleep, you realized.
Just like you were.
If either of you acknowledged it, the world would crack open.
So you didnโt.
You just let it happen.
Let his hand cup your breast like it was meant to be there. Let his hips roll forward in the slowest, tiniest grind. Let your legs shift apart just enough that your thighs stopped brushingโand instead, welcomed.
He let out another one of those breathsโlow, shaky, wrecked.
You smiled into the pillow.
Still not breathing.
Still โasleep.โ
And behind you, your best friend since diapers was losing his last scrap of composure.
โ
The morning came too fast.
Sunlight crept through your curtains like it knew what happened. Like it saw every second of that not-a-dream moment where his hand cupped your breast and his hips rolled into yours like it wasnโt the first time heโd imagined it.
He was already in the kitchen when you woke up.
Hair messy, hoodie wrinkled, acting like everything was normal. Like he hadnโt spent the night wrapped around you with his cock pressed to your ass and his hand full of your tit.
You padded out barefoot, keeping your face unreadable.
He handed you a mug. โYou were out cold.โ
Liar.
You took it, fingers brushing his, watching him too closely.
โSo were you.โ
A flickerโbarely thereโbut his eyes twitched toward you for a split second. Like he was trying to see if you meant something more.
You let him sit with the tension.
You drank your coffee slow.
โYou ever thinkโฆโ you began softly, โmaybe Iโve just been really fucking stupid?โ
He looked up from his cereal. โSince when?โ
You tilted your head. โSince assuming you werenโt into girls.โ
He blinked. Slowly. Carefully.
Thatโฆ got his attention.
He didnโt smile. Didnโt laugh it off. Just sat thereโsilentโand then brought the spoon to his mouth like nothing had happened.
But his voice, when he finally answered, was low. Controlled.
โWhat makes you ask that?โ
You shrugged. โI donโt know. You never dated any. Never flirted. You never reacted when I walked around likeโโ you gestured vaguely at yourselfโโthis. So I figured, you know. Must be the reason.โ
Another pause.
His eyes dropped to your thighs.
You were wearing the same sleep shirt.
No bra still.
Of course he noticed.
But he didnโt give you that satisfaction. He set the spoon down and leaned back in the chair, stretching lazily like his body hadnโt betrayed him eight hours ago in your bed.
โMaybe Iโm just good at not talking about certain things,โ he said.
That hit harder than it should have.
You stared at him.
And for the first time in a long timeโyou didnโt see your best friend.
You saw a man whoโd been holding himself back for years.
Youโd never stared at his crotch before.
That was the first red flag.
You werenโt even trying to. Just sitting across from him on the couch while he scrolled through his phone, hoodie riding up slightly, grey sweatpants loose and slung criminally low on his hips. You werenโt supposed to notice the shape beneath. The outline. The fact that you recognized the pressure of it against your ass last night because it had left an imprint on your nervous system.
You blinked away quickly.
Jesus.
You sipped your water like it could douse whatever fire had started in your chestโand your thighs.
He didnโt notice.
Of course he didnโt.
Lee Minho was the king of unreadable faces. That man could watch you strip naked and probably wouldnโt flinch. It was part of the reason youโd always felt safe around him. And the same reason you were losing your mind now.
You needed to know.
If you were wrong. If heโd just been hiding in plain sight. If that touch last night had been a fluke. A dream. Or something darker.
So you tested it.
That evening, while he sat on the floor building a shelf you couldnโt be bothered to finish, you leaned in behind him.
Loose tank top. Braless as usual. Intentional bend.
He turned slightly. Saw your chest from the sideโtoo close, too exposed, one nipple practically peeking through the armhole.
His jaw clenched.
But he said nothing.
Strike one.
You tried again.
Pulled your hair up messily, exposing your neck, your back. Made small, breathy sounds when you stretched. Loud enough to hear. Soft enough to pass as innocent.
Still nothing.
Strike two.
You were practically writhing at this point. Trying to piss him off or fluster him, something.
But Lee Minho stayed quiet.
You werenโt sure what exactly you were trying to prove anymore.
That he wasnโt gay? That he wanted you? That you could still control this friendship even when everything was shifting beneath your feet?
Maybe it was all of it.
But you were already halfway in his lap before you had time to second guess it.
โYouโre not good at building shit,โ you teased, voice sweet as sugar while you hovered close, brushing imaginary dust from his shoulder. โLucky Iโm cute enough to get away with watching instead of helping.โ
He gruntedโlow, disinterested. But his eyes betrayed him. You saw the flickerโstraight to your chest, to the deep dip of cleavage youโd made extra sure heโd notice.
Bingo.
You leaned closer. Pretending to inspect a screw on the shelf. Your tits brushed his upper arm.
He went still.
โYou okay there, Min?โ you asked softly. Coy.
He cleared his throat. โDonโt start.โ
โStart what?โ
โThis,โ he said. He didnโt look at you. โWhatever game youโre playing right now.โ
โIโm not playing anything.โ
โYes, you are.โ
You tilted your head. โWhat are you talking about?โ
Silence.
Then, quieter: โIโm warning you.โ
Oh, that did something to you.
He sounded like he meant it. Like he was afraid of himself more than you. And maybe he shouldโve beenโbecause you were reckless now. Hyped up on the taste of your own power, drunk on the image of him with your tit in his hand last night.
You pulled your tank top aside from the arm hole just a little. No bra. Just the soft swell of skinโmore than enough to tempt. His eyes snapped to it instantly.
โGo ahead,โ you whispered. โTouch me.โ
He swallowed.
Didnโt move.
So you took his hand yourselfโslowly, deliberatelyโand pressed it to your breast.
Flesh to palm.
He exhaled sharp. Visibly flinched. But he didnโt pull away.
You arched into his touch.
โYouโve never been curious?โ you asked, voice lower now, almost daring. โNever once wondered what they felt like? Youโve known me your whole life, Minhoโฆโ
His thumb twitched. Brushed the underside like he didnโt even know he was doing it.
โJesus Christ,โ he muttered under his breath.
โWhat?โ
โYou have no idea what youโre doing, do you?โ
You smiled faintly.
But then he tightened his gripโjust slightlyโand your breath caught.
โYou think Iโve been ignoring you all these years?โ he asked, voice dark now. Steady. Dangerous. โYou think I donโt notice when you walk around half naked? You think I donโt see the way your tits bounce when you laugh?โ
You froze.
Oh.
Oh shit.
โYou think I donโt feel them when youโre sleeping pressed against me?โ His thumb brushed up nowโbarely grazing your nipple. It stiffened instantly. So did you.
โMinhoโฆโ
His hand dropped away suddenly, like he was snapping out of it.
โYou need to stop,โ he said, standing up too fast. โBefore you push me too far.โ
You stared up at him from the floor, dazed.
For the first timeโฆ you realized you mightโve already pushed too far.
โ
It was hours later when you finally crawled into bed.
He was already in itโlying on his side, facing away, blanket riding low on his waist and exposing the tight line of muscle up his back.
Your heart was still pounding.
He hadnโt said a single thing after storming out earlier. Not during dinner. Not while you cleaned the mess from the half-finished shelf. Not while you avoided looking at him like he hadnโt cupped your tit like a stress ball.
And now you were lying beside him again, like nothing had changed.
You couldnโt tell if you were relieved or disappointed.
You turned your back to him, the usual position when you shared a bed, but the air felt different tonight. Dense. Stifling.
โHey,โ you whispered in the dark. โAre weโฆ okay?โ
His voice came low. Controlled. โYou tell me.โ
You swallowed. โYou seemedโฆ upset earlier.โ
โI was,โ he said. โIโm not anymore.โ
โOh.โ
Silence.
Then, casually:
โYou looked at my dick today.โ
You choked. โWhat?! No I didnโt.โ
โYes, you did.โ
You rolled onto your back, flustered. โYou canโt prove that.โ
โI donโt need to. I know your face. Iโve known it since you had baby teeth.โ
You blinked at the ceiling. Your face was burning.
He shifted thenโcloser. The bed dipped behind you. His chest met your back.
And something else pressed against your ass.
Hard. Solid. Undeniable.
You gasped.
His lips brushed your ear. Calm. Evil.
โThatโs payback,โ he said softly, โfor putting your tits in my hand.โ
You forgot how to breathe.
He didnโt move.
Neither did you.
The air between you was molten now, and his cockโfuck, that was his cockโwas still heavy and pulsing against your ass like he was proud of it.
โMinhoโฆโ
โYou wanted to know,โ he said, voice silk and fire. โYouโve been trying to get a reaction out of me all day. So now youโve got one.โ
You felt him smirk.
โWhatโs wrong?โ he murmured. โToo much?โ
You couldnโt answer.
Not when your thighs were squeezing together like they had a mind of their own. Not when your heart was a drum and your skin burned where it touched his.
You didnโt say anything at first.
Just stayed frozen in place, his cock pressed thick and solid against the soft curve of your ass, your entire body vibrating with heat.
Your lips moved before your brain could stop them.
โโฆCan I touch it?โ
Silence.
Not even a breath behind you.
Thenโ โWhat?โ
You swallowed, your voice weirdly calm now. โI justโฆ I wanna feel it. Likeโactually feel it. With my hand.โ
A sound escaped his throat. Sharp. Choked.
โYouโre kidding.โ
You turned around slowly, facing him in the dark. His eyes locked on yoursโblown, stunned, like youโd slapped him with a brick made of sin.
You didnโt wait for another answer.
Your eyes dropped straight to his crotch.
And your hand followed.
The blanket shifted just enough as you slipped beneath it, and your palm found him right where heโd pressed up against you beforeโstill just as thick, still painfully hard, straining beneath the soft fabric of his sweatpants.
You cupped him gently.
Minho jerked.
โHoly fuck,โ he whispered, face twisting. โWhat the hell are you doingโฆโ
โJust curious,โ you murmured, gaze fixed on the shape of him under your hand. โYouโre soโฆ big.โ
He groaned, head dropping back into the pillow.
Your fingers squeezed lightly. You were sure you felt him twitch.
โYouโve been like this all night?โ you asked, eyes wide.
He hissed through his teeth. โDonโt say it like that.โ
โWhy not?โ you teased, still stroking. โItโs not like Iโm doing anything serious.โ
โThatโs the fucking problem,โ he gritted out, hips twitching into your hand.
You explored him like you were learning something new, weighing the heft of him through his pants, tracing the long, thick outline up and down.
He was breathing heavier now. Jaw clenched. Eyes shut.
โYou can tell me to stop,โ you whispered.
He didnโt.
So you slipped your hand inside.
No warning.
Just fingers beneath the waistband, sliding inside until you were wrapping your hand around bare, hot skin.
Minho choked.
โFuckโfuckโโ
You stroked slowly, palm tight around the base, sliding up to the head and back again. He was massive. Velvet over steel. Already leaking a little at the tip.
He bucked into your hand before he could stop himself, hips twitching under the weight of your touch.
โIs this payback too?โ you asked, lips barely moving.
His eyes flew open.
โKeep talking and Iโll fuck your throat instead.โ
Your hand froze.
Your heart flipped.
Your thighs clenched so hard it hurt.
But then, you looked up at him. Still holding him. Still stroking him.
His cock twitched in your hand, thick and aching, as you slowly dragged your fingers up the shaft and back down, your touch featherlightโteasing.
Minhoโs eyes were glassy now, dark and stormy and wild, like he was barely keeping himself together. His jaw clenched. His chest rose and fell in shallow bursts.
You felt powerful. Dangerous.
So you looked up at himโbold, daringโand said, โSo? Still want me to stop?โ
He didnโt answer right away. Just blinked at you like he was seeing you for the first time. His voice came hoarse and wrecked.
โAre you crazy?โ
You tilted your head. โMaybe.โ
โThis isโโ He swallowed. โWeโreโโ
โFriends?โ you offered, sliding your hand again, slower now. โChildhood besties? Practically siblings?โ
He winced. โGod, donโt say that.โ
You smiled.
And then, without another word, you sat up on your knees and tugged your oversized sleep shirt over your headโbare underneath. Just skin and heat and those same soft breasts heโd felt in his hands earlier.
They bounced slightly as you moved, and the room went still.
His breath hitched. His eyes droppedโdraggedโto your chest.
It was the second time heโd seen them that night.
โIโm sure,โ you said simply.
Something broke in him.
He sat up so fast the mattress shook, one hand grabbing your wrist, the other threading hard into your hair. He yanked you forward, his mouth crashing into yours with so much heat it knocked the breath from your lungs.
You gasped into the kiss, and he devoured itโbiting, claiming, groaning into your mouth like heโd been starving for years.
โThis what you wanted?โ he growled, lips trailing down your neck, teeth dragging over your collarbone. โYou really wanted to see what Iโd do?โ
You whimpered, nodding, fingers already clawing at the waistband of his sweats.
โToo late to take it back now,โ he muttered against your skin, before ducking down and wrapping his lips around your nippleโhard.
Your back arched. His tongue flicked, sucked, bit.
โMinhoโโ
โIโve dreamed about these,โ he groaned, switching to the other breast, kneading the first one in his palm like he was worshiping it. โYou donโt know what the fuck youโve done to me.โ
Your whole body was trembling, his hands now everywhereโgripping your waist, sliding down your back, yanking you flush against his chest as he rutted up into you, his cock still trapped in his sweats, still throbbing.
โNeed to feel you,โ he rasped. โNeed to have you.โ
โThen take me,โ you breathed. Without even thinking about it.
And for a second, Minho froze.
Not because he didnโt want toโhis hands were already sliding lower, gripping your hips with bruising forceโbut because the way youโd said itโฆ so open, so needy, so realโฆ it shook him.
โDonโt say that unless you mean it,โ he whispered, forehead pressing against yours, his voice raw, trembling. โBecause if I start, I wonโt stop this time.โ
Your chest heaved against his, nipples dragging over his skin, and his self-control nearly snapped again right there. You could feel him under you, thick and hot through the fabric of his sweats, the tip pressed right against your soaked panties. One shift of your hips andโ
โIโm not asking you to stop,โ you whispered back.
He groaned, low and guttural, like the sound had been buried in his chest for years. You kissed him againโslow, deep, your tongues tangling like this wasnโt the first time. Like your bodies already knew the steps.
And maybe they did.
His hand slid between your thighs, pressing the heel of his palm right where you were aching most. Your hips jerked.
โAlready soaked,โ he rasped, biting down on your lip. โFuckโhave you always been like this around me?โ
You didnโt answer. You couldnโt. His fingers dipped beneath your waistband, brushing over your soaked folds through your underwearโjust enough to make you moan.
โYouโre playing with fire,โ he warned, mouth now at your ear, voice shaking. โYou keep tempting me like this, and I swearโโ
โThen burn me,โ you whispered, grinding down on his hand.
He snapped againโgrabbing your ass and flipping you onto your back like heโd been holding back all his life. The sudden dominance in his movements made your breath hitch.
Minho hovered over you, both of you half-naked now, tangled in sweatpants and damp underwear and a thousand repressed thoughts.
His hand moved with purpose now, cupping your mound, rubbing slow circles over your clit, lips pressed to your neck.
You whimpered, bucked.
โDonโt tease,โ you begged.
He chuckled darkly. โSays the one whoโs been waving her tits in my face for years.โ
You gaspedโhalf embarrassed, half turned onโand he pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes.
โTell me to stop,โ he said softly. โOr Iโm going to ruin your sleep.โ
You stared at him, panting. You wanted him. Needed him. But something inside you whisperedโnot yet. Not like this. Not while everything was still unraveling too fast.
โNot tonight,โ you murmured, heart racing.
His expression shifted, softening in a way that made your chest ache.
He nodded slowly. โOkay.โ
But his fingers didnโt move right away. He gave you one last teasing brush, slow and aching.
โFor the record,โ he added, voice like gravel, โthis is me trying to behave.โ
You giggled, breathless.
โI can tell.โ
And then he pulled you into his chest, kissed your forehead, and let the fire between you simmer.
You didnโt have sex that night.
But neither of you slept much, either.
โธป
It had only been three days.
Three days since Minho had slipped out with nothing but a cryptic, โIโll see you later,โ and a soft kiss to your temple. Two days since youโd almost let your best friend finger you into oblivion under the safety of your shared covers. And now he was gone.
Well, not gone-gone. Just back at his apartment. Just out of reach. Just far enough to not risk really doing what your bodies had been begging for.
He hadnโt ghosted. Not exactly. Just a little space, a few texts. โSorry, been busy.โ โWorkโs a lot this week.โ โIโll come by soon.โ
But soon wasnโt now. And nowโฆ was when you were sprawled out on your bed, fingers between your thighs, a familiar silicone toy buzzing softly inside youโdesperate to chase that same friction you almost got from him.
It wasnโt the same. Nothing could be. But the thoughts in your head? Those were filthy enough to get the job done.
Your mind kept flashing back to the night before he left: his voice in your ear, his thick cock pressed to your core, the way heโd looked at you like heโd been starving. You whined as your hips rolled, tightening your grip on the toy buried inside you.
Then your phone lit up.
Minho calling.
You froze, heart skipping. Fuck.
You hesitated just long enough for it to ring againโand then answered, trying to level your breath.
โHey,โ you managed, voice just a bit too airy.
โHey,โ he said, voice casual, low. โWere you sleeping?โ
โNope.โ You exhaled hard through your nose, the vibrator still inside you, pulsing away like it knew your secrets. โJustโฆ relaxing.โ
โMmm.โ His voice dropped, curious. โYou sound out of breath.โ
You swallowed. Hard. โTired day. I was justโyโknow. Lying down.โ
The vibrator kicked up just a notch, and your thighs jerked. He kept talking.
โSorry Iโve been MIA. Been thinking about you, though.โ His voice was warm, familiar. God, his voice. โA lot, actually.โ
A sharp breath escaped you. You hoped it sounded natural. It didnโt.
โโฆYou okay?โ he asked, his tone shifting just slightly. โYou soundโoff.โ
You could barely think anymore. Your head was buzzing. Your thighs were trembling. And you didnโt dare stop.
โIโm fine,โ you rasped.
But then you whimpered. Barely. Just a little hitch in your throat.
He paused. โWait. Are youโare you doing something?โ
Your whole body froze.
โNo,โ you lied, voice high.
He went quiet. Too quiet.
โโฆAre you touching yourself right now?โ His voice came low, dangerous. โWhile on the phone with me?โ
Silence.
Then, another breathy whimper.
He growled. โFuck. You are.โ
You felt heat shoot up your spine.
โKeep going,โ he said, voice gravel now. โDonโt stop. You started this.โ
Your hips rolled againโslower this time, more deliberateโas you listened to him breathe, listened to the weight behind his words.
โTell me what youโre thinking about,โ he demanded. โWhile you fuck yourself to my voice.โ
You bit down on your lower lip, squeezing your eyes shut as his words settled under your skin like molten honey.
โTell me,โ he said again, voice a touch lower, rougher now. โWhat were you thinking about?โ
You whimpered. โYou.โ
He chuckled. Dark. Breathless.
โYeah? What about me?โ
You hesitated, hips twitching as your toy nudged just right inside you. โThe way you felt that night,โ you gasped. โThe way you pressed into me from behindโฆ the way your cock felt against me, even through the sheetsโโ
โFuck.โ
His reaction was sharp and immediate, a barely controlled groan through clenched teeth. You knew his hand was probably fisting the sheets or his thigh right now, trying to stop himself from touching the one thing he couldnโt haveโyet.
โAre you still touching yourself?โ he asked, voice thick.
โโฆYes.โ
โGood. Faster.โ
The single command shot straight to your gut. Your fingers moved in rhythm with the toy now, chasing the heat blooming deep in your belly. You didnโt even care if he heard your wetness or the whines building in your throat anymore.
โWish I could see you,โ he breathed. โWish I could have my hand over your mouth. Youโre too loud, babe. Youโd wake the whole damn building if I fucked you right now.โ
โMinhoโโ
โNot yet,โ he cut in. โYouโll come when I say so. Not a second sooner.โ
You squeezed around the toy, aching, desperate, toes curling.
โKeep going. Just like that.โ His voice was pure sin now, molten and slow. โYouโll come with my voice in your ear and my name on your lips, just like you shouldโve that night.โ
You whimpered.
โSay it,โ he demanded. โSay my name.โ
โMinhoโโ
โLouder.โ
โMinho.โ
โGood girl,โ he rasped. โNow come.โ
You shattered.
Your back arched off the bed, thighs quaking, moan spilling raw and unfiltered from your lips as your body pulsed around the toy. You didnโt even try to hold it in anymoreโhe needed to hear it. He deserved to.
Silence stretched on the line after, only your wrecked breathing and the distant rasp of his own breath filling the space between you.
When he finally spoke again, it was with the voice of a man barely holding back his hunger.
โIโm going to ruin you,โ he said softly, deadly. โNext time I get my hands on youโฆ Iโm not stopping until you forget anyone else ever made you come.โ
The call ended.
You blinked at the screen, dazed, thighs still trembling.
But you didnโt sleep.
You changed into the first half-decent outfit you could find, tugged your hoodie over your head, and grabbed your keys with your heart hammering in your throat.
If he wasnโt going to come to you?
Youโd damn well go to him.
โ
You almost turned around three times. Once at the stoplight. Again when you parked in front of his building. And one last time while standing at his door, staring at the stupid number youโd memorized when you were ten.
You shouldnโt have been here.
But your body didnโt care. Not when it was still buzzing, still throbbing from the orgasm he commanded out of you through the phone not ten minutes ago. Your thighs were sticky, your bottom lip sore from how hard youโd been biting it in the car, nerves coiling in your belly like a wire about to snap.
Showing up like thisโunannounced, in shorts that barely passed as clothing, no bra under your thin hoodieโwasnโt just reckless. It was deliberate. Dangerous.
You raised your hand and knocked before you could talk yourself out of it.
Footsteps came quickly. Heavy. The door flew open seconds later, and there he was.
Minho.
Still shirtless.
Sweatpants slung low on his hips. Hair a mess like heโd been pacing. His jaw was tense, chest rising like he hadnโt calmed down since the call ended. His eyes found yours and locked in like he could see through you.
He didnโt say a word.
Just looked at you.
Slow. Hungry. His gaze dragged from your flushed face to the zipper of your hoodie and lowerโlingering on your bare thighs.
You shifted, suddenly feeling way too exposed.
โSay something,โ you whispered.
His voice came out hoarse.
โYouโre insane.โ
โI know.โ
Another pause. The air between you tightened.
He stepped forward. Just one stepโand you backed up, your breath hitching.
โNo bra?โ he muttered like it hurt him. โYou show up like this after what just happenedโfuckโโ
โI didnโt know what else to do.โ You bit your lip, heat crawling up your neck. โI didnโt want to wait.โ
That was it.
He snapped.
You didnโt even see him moveโjust felt the door slam shut behind you as he pushed you up against it, one arm shooting out to lock it without looking. His hands came to either side of your head, bracing himself like he was seconds away from self-destruction.
His breath hit your lips.
Every muscle in his body was coiled tight, like he was holding back something feral.
โLast chance,โ he growled. โIf you tell me right now youโre not sure, Iโll let you go. Iโll jerk off in the shower until my knees give out and pretend you never begged to come in my ear.โ
Your throat tightened.
โIโm sure.โ
That was all it took.
His mouth crashed into yours. Hungry. Deep. Unapologetic. It hit you like a waveโhis tongue sliding in, his grip tightening, his body pressing flush against yours with an intensity that made your knees buckle.
One hand tangled in your hair, tilting your head, while the other found your waist and grippedโlike he was claiming territory.
A moan escaped into his mouth as you clung to his shoulders, pulling him closer, anchoring yourself to the storm that was him.
Minhoโs mouth was still glistening with you when he picked you upโone arm under your thighs, the other around your back. He didnโt even blink. Just carried you down the hall like it was nothing, your head pressed to his neck, body boneless from how hard heโd made you come.
His bed was unmade.
Sheets tossed. Pillows scattered. And you were in them seconds later, back hitting the mattress with a bounce.
Minho stood at the edge of the bed and looked at you.
Like heโd waited years for this moment. Like you were a fantasy come to life and he was deciding whether to kneel at your feet or tear you apart.
โYou still want this?โ he asked, voice lowโgravel and smoke.
You didnโt answer. You showed himโlegs spreading wider, hips tilting, your hand sliding down to part your slick folds. His eyes darkened.
โFuck, okay,โ he breathed, like he was short-circuiting. โOkay, baby.โ
He crawled over you like a shadow, slow and heavy, his mouth finding your jaw firstโthen your neck, then your collarbone, biting as he went.
โYouโve been mine since we were kids,โ he murmured into your skin, tongue flicking over a mark heโd just left. โYou just didnโt know it.โ
You gasped when his hips rolled against yours, his cock rubbing through your soaked folds, huge and leaking and so hot against your cunt.
โYou feel that?โ he asked, dragging it up and downโyour body arching, chasing it. โYouโve had me like this for years. All those skirts. All that attitude.โ
He gripped your jaw, making you look at him.
โYou think I didnโt notice the way you got careless around me?โ
Your lips parted, but no sound came outโjust a broken breath as he lined up, pressing just the tip in.
Your nails dug into his arms.
โMinhoโโ
โShh,โ he whispered. โI know, baby. I know.โ
Then he pushed in.
Slow. Deep. Relentless.
And holy fuck.
Your eyes slammed shut, jaw dropping in a silent scream as he stretched you open. He didnโt stop until he was fully insideโuntil his hips were flush with yours and your cunt was full.
โJesus Christ,โ he groaned into your neck. โSo fucking tight.โ
You could barely breathe. Could barely think.
He pulled back just enough to drive back inโand againโagainโbuilding a rhythm that knocked the sanity right out of your head.
Minho fucked like he was carving his name into your body.
He was everywhereโteeth on your throat, hands on your tits, hips snapping hard and deep like he needed to ruin you.
And he was talking, too. Filthy. Possessive. All in that growly voice that made your toes curl.
โYou gonna let me fill you up, baby?โ
โGonna fuck you so full you feel me for days.โ
โYou were made for this. For me. For my cock.โ
You cried out when he grabbed your thigh and folded you in half, slamming deeper, finding that spot that made your entire body lock up.
โRight there?โ he growled, eyes glued to your face. โThatโs it, isnโt it? Thatโs your spot.โ
You were sobbing nowโwet, broken sounds as your second orgasm raced up your spine.
โCome for me,โ he snapped. โRight now. All over my cock. Let me feel it.โ
And you did. Harder than beforeโlouder, messier, more intense.
You clenched around him like a vice, and he lost itโgroaning loud as he slammed in one final time and spilled inside you, hips jerking, body trembling above yours.
He stayed like thatโdeep and twitching inside you, sweat dripping down his temple, lips ghosting over yours as you both tried to come down.
You didnโt know how long you laid thereโlegs trembling, his cum leaking out of you, your fingers tangled in the sheets like you were afraid of floating away.
Minho hadnโt moved much either.
He was still inside you, chest to chest, your noses brushing each time he inhaled. His hand cupped your cheek, thumb stroking softly along your jaw as he watched you with those warm, sleepy eyesโeyes that held none of the fury or possessiveness from before.
Just softness. Almost guilt.
โYou okay?โ he asked, voice husky but gentler now.
You nodded, but your throat was tight. And when you blinked up at him, he leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth. Then your nose. Then your temple.
โDid I go too far?โ he murmured.
โNo,โ you whispered, your voice small. โI liked it. I liked all of it.โ
That made his lips twitch.
โYeah?โ he said, brushing his knuckles across your titsโlingering when your breath caught. โEven when I told you to shut up and take it?โ
You swallowed hard. โEspecially then.โ
He chuckled under his breath and finally pulled out, making both of you hiss. You whined at the emptinessโat how sore and stretched you feltโand Minhoโs gaze immediately dropped between your legs.
โShit,โ he muttered, almost reverent. โLook at that mess.โ
You flushed, shifting your legs, but he pressed a hand to your thigh to stop you.
โDonโt hide,โ he murmured. โYou look so good like this. All ruined because of me.โ
Then, to your surprise, he slid down the bed and kissed your inner thigh. Just once. Then again. Then right next to your sensitive center.
You flinched. โMinhoโtoo muchโโ
He smiled and looked up at you from between your legs.
โAlright, baby,โ he said. โIโll be good.โ
And he was.
For about two minutes.
Then he kissed his way up your bodyโlingering on your nipples, dragging his tongue across them until they stiffened again. You whimpered as he sucked softly, then bit gentlyโmaking your hips buck.
โI just wanna taste them,โ he murmured. โYou kept arching for me earlier like they needed attention.โ
โThey still do,โ you whispered before you could stop yourself.
He smirked. โThen donโt move.โ
He licked and sucked until your chest was wet with his spit and your thighs pressed together againโneed building back up in the pit of your stomach like a slow flame.
โFuck,โ you mumbled. โYouโre gonna break me.โ
He pulled back to look at you.
โNot yet,โ he said, voice low. โBut you did say you liked sucking cock, didnโt you?โ
You blinked. โIโyeahโwhyโ?โ
He rolled off you and onto his back, cock already hard againโthick and flushed, still glistening from earlier.
โThen get over here.โ
You didnโt need to be told twice.
You crawled down the bed and straddled his thighs, eyes locked on the way he stroked himself, slow and heavy.
He tapped the tip against your lips. โOpen up, baby.โ
You did.
And he groaned the moment you took him inโjust the head at first, tongue swirling around it, your lips tight and wet. He filled your mouth so easily, and you loved the way he shuddered when you gagged on him.
โThatโs it,โ he breathed, hand sliding into your hair. โSo fucking pretty when youโre drooling on my cock.โ
You moaned around him, and he twitched.
โYou gonna swallow it all?โ he asked, voice breaking a little. โYou want me to come in your mouth this time?โ
You sucked harder, nodding with tears in your eyes, and that was it.
He cursedโhips jerking, cock thickeningโand seconds later he was spilling down your throat, one hand on your head as his other clutched the sheets.
You swallowed everything.
Every drop.
When you finally pulled off, eyes glassy and lips swollen, Minho reached for you and pulled you into his chest, kissing your forehead like he hadnโt just fucked your mouth like a man possessed.
โNow,โ he whispered, pulling the blanket over both of you, โlets get some sleep.โ
โธป
The morning light slipped in through the blinds in soft gold stripes, painting lazy patterns across the room.
You blinked awake slowly, body aching in the most indulgent way, wrapped in the scent of skin and sweat and fabric softener. The hoodie you had worn here last night was still crumpled somewhere on the floorโprobably next to your shorts, your underwear, your dignity.
Minhoโs arm was heavy around your waist. His chest was warm against your back. His breath ghosted over your shoulder in quiet puffs, slow and steady.
It didnโt feel real. It felt like one of those fantasies you used to jerk yourself off to in the dark, flushed and breathless, thinking about what it would feel like to fall asleep tangled up in him like thisโafter.
You stayed still as long as you could, justโฆ absorbing it.
And then, of course, he ruined it by murmuring against your neck, voice still thick with sleep.
โYour thighs are twitching.โ
You groaned. โMaybe because you almost broke them last night.โ
He chuckled, low and pleased, then slid his hand over your hip and gave your inner thigh a light squeeze. โYou came here cause you wanted me to do exactly that.โ
Your cheeks flushed instantly. โDonโt remind me.โ
โWhy not? Itโs my favorite memory now.โ
You rolled over to face him, hair a mess, eyes still sleep-fogged. He looked unfairly gorgeous in the morning. Hair tousled. Eyes soft. The roughness from last night completely gone, replaced by something almost too gentle to be him.
He looked at you like he was thinking way too hard.
โWhat?โ you asked quietly.
He reached up, brushed some hair from your face, fingers lingering at your jaw.
โYou know this isnโt just sex for me, right?โ
Your breath caught.
โI meanโฆโ he licked his lips, eyes searching yours. โIt can be, if thatโs what you want. But I donโt think I can go back to just being your best friend. Not after this.โ
You didnโt answer right away. Just stared at him, trying to collect your heart off the floor where it had just dropped.
Finally, you whispered, โI donโt want to go back either.โ
Minho exhaled slowly, like heโd been holding that breath all night.
Then he leaned in and kissed youโsoft and slow and sweet, like the question was already answered.
You melted into it. Into him. Into the shift.
Later, youโd get up. Heโd make coffee. Youโd steal one of his shirts. Heโd tease you about the bite marks on your thighs. And youโd both pretend not to notice how domestic it already felt.
But for now, you stayed in bedโbest friends turned something moreโwith his arms around you and your future somewhere in the spaces between his kisses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors note: hi guys! Ok so the poll results from the Leeknow angry boy fic came out and it was a really close one. So instead of changing whats already written i decided to upload this to make it up to you guys! This is not an angst story or the angry boy replacement but this is a story for my romantics โค๏ธ Thanks alot for all your feedback really love you guys!
sum. teasing, sweet treats, challenges and all, itโs about time minho admits how bad he wants to kiss you.
wc. 1.9k
cw. pocky game, harry potter spells and magic references, crushes and fluff and one unit of a kiss, minho is FUCKED (positive), and I think thatโs all, folks!
req! right here, from my gorgeous baby @4ln-stay8! POOKIEEE missed you so much<3 this was so cute! hope you like๐โโ๏ธโผ๏ธ
[๐โ ๐ฌโ ๐]
Has anyone ever gone to see a magician perform?
Even if that didnโt happen โwhich, for your information, is an experience I recommend, just for funโ we can all agree that everyone is familiar with those typical magic tricks. Like that one where the magician has this colourful cloth, and he starts pulling it out of his hat, and then pulls, pulls, pulls, pullsโฆ
โFelix, what part of โwe only need sodas, water, and the peach juice that Jisung said he wantedโ did you not understand?โ Seungmin blinks, deadpanning as he watches his roommate get things out of the supermarket bags.
As if summoned โmaybe the magic still lingers around?โ Jisung pops his head inside the kitchen, with another two bags.
โDid I hear my name?โ Han smiles, rubbing his hands together to easy the red, tight feeling the plastic bag left in his hands.
โYeah, bitch,โ Seungmin scoffs, โtryna max out your credit cardโwait. Who paid for this?โ
Jisung blinks, gasping. โOh, I left the water bottles outside.โ
โThe juice was me, by the way,โ you let out softly, moving side to side as you sat on the kitchen stool.
Cans clatter onto the counter, a bunch of parsley poking out from under a loaf of bread, and somewhere in the mess, a rogue apple rolls across the floor. Between the crinkling of paper and the thud of boxes, it feels like the bags will never end. Jisung and Felix should never go to the supermarket again unsupervised.
You hold back the need to laugh, not only at the crazy scene, but at Seungminโs puzzled face.
โAre there more things there?โ You giggle.
As you grab a plastic bag and peek inside, you frown. โWhatโs this?โ you ask, fishing out a brightly colored packet with a name you didnโt dare to pronounce.
Silence.
Several heads snap toward you, as if youโve just confessed a crime.
โYouโre joking,โ Seungmin says flatly.
โPlease tell me youโre joking,โ Hyunjin echoes as he gets to the kitchen, already halfway to dramatic fainting.
โYouโve never had Pocky?โ Felix gasps, a smile on his lips. โWhere have you beenโunder a rock? On the moon?โ
You blink, holding the snack defensively. โAm Iโฆ supposed to know?โ
Jisung stares at you like youโve just insulted Felixโs baking skills, leaving the water bottles on the floor.
โYouโre not supposed to know,โ Jisung says, snatching the packet from your hands like itโs too sacred to be handled by a novice. โYouโre supposed to have lived it. This was childhood. This was lunchbox gold. This wasโโ
โโcurrency on the playground,โ Jeongin chimes in solemnly, taking a seat on the stool next to Hyunjin.
โYou know thereโs a flippinโ day for this in Japan, right?โ Felix chuckles, taking the other Pocky box from the bag and settling on the kitchen aisle, ruffling your hair.
โThere is?โ You look at the package with amazement in your eyes, to which Seungmin snickers.
Just as Hyunjin tears the Pocky box open with ceremonial flair, footsteps sound in the hall. Minho walks into the kitchen, eyeing the chaos.
โWhy does it sound like someone just uncovered a forbidden artifact?โ He snorts. โOh, Pocky,โ he smiles, sitting around the kitchen aisle and grabbing a box, tearing it open.
โThis one right here just discovered gunpowder.โ Seungmin rubs his eyes in fake desperation, actually amused.
Minho pauses after taking a bite. Looks at you. Blinks.
โYou donโt know what this is?โ He presses his lips together, failing to hold back a smile as he swooshes the bitten Pocky on his hand in the air, like some kind of wand.
Han looks at you like heโll Avada Kedavra your ass. โImagine never having one!โ Jisung whines dramatically, holding up the package like a sacred offering, grabbing one.
Your arms shoot up in ginger frustration, a smile still on your face. โWhy is this such a big deal?โ
Minho grinsโnot as much mocking like the others, but amused, like heโs secretly delighted by the whole thing. โItโs justโฆ Youโve really never even seen one?โ
โNo!โ you say, half-laughing now. โAnd what do you mean there's a day for this?" You grin, grabbing one and staring at it.
โOkay, so Pocky Day is likeโNovember 11th, right?โ Felix explains, waving a half-eaten stick like a pointer. โBecause the date looks like four Pocky sticks. One-one-one-one. Itโs a whole thing in Japan. People gift them, take pictures, post cringe, whateverโโ
โAnd the real tradition is the Pocky challenge. Itโs like a trust exercise. But sexy. And dumb,โ Hyunjin chuckles.
โItโs dumb-sexy,โ Seungmin nods.
Meanwhile, Minho isnโt listening. Well, technically, his body is facing the group. He even nods a little, like heโs following the conversation. But his eyes? Always trailing back to you, like some new magic trick.
Focus, Minho. Leave her alone. Don't be a creep, his brain scolds him.
So while teacher Felix explains Pocky day to you, Minho grabs a stick from the box, settles it on his lips, and spins to face Hyunjin with dramatic flair. โHeyyyy,โ he drawls, voice muffled slightly around the chocolate-covered end. โYou wanna kiss me?โ
Hyunjin's eyes turn to crescent moons as he laughs. โPlease stop.โ
โCome onnnn,โ Minho says, leaning in like heโs about to seduce a houseplant. โIโm irresistible. Itโs Pocky Day. Itโs sacred.โ
Your laugh stands out to him in the group as Hyunjin keeps making dramatic faces, and like some Accio spell, his eyes go back to you.
He can see how youโre swinging your legs slightly, brow furrowed in concentration, actually trying to make sense of this absurd little candy holiday. Your hairโs a little messy from the wind, your cheeks still pink from the cold. And every so often, when the others laugh or make a dumb joke, you smileโslow and genuine, like you mean it.
Minho feels it like a punch to the chest every time.
God, he thinks, heart doing something stupid. Sheโs soโsheโs justโ
Then you straighten, wiping a tear from your eye. โOkay, but wait. I wanna try the game.โ
โYou know, Minho is the king of the Pocky challenge,โ Felix smiles, faking innocence.
Minhoโs internal monologue hits DEFCON 1. Heโs already halfway to cardiac arrest when, like sharks circling the blood, Felix and Seungmin lean in with matching devilish grins.
Minho wakes up from his daydreaming. "What?"
โYeah, Min," Felix snickers. "Youโve pulled this exact move four times at parties.โ
Minho blinks. Brain: static. Limbs: gone. Soul: ascending. He feels every cell in his body yell, STAY CALM. But his blood has turned into hot soup, and his mouth is suddenly so dry. Did his knees always feel this weak? Had he ever actually known how to breathe?
"I wanna try it," you repeat, still laughing, still not understanding that youโve just shattered Minho's reality. "But Minho doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to."
Minho silently beams regret and death at them while his brain screams, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, IT'S HAPPENING, STAY CALM, STAY FUCKING CALMโ
Heart jackhammering in his chest, Minho has a single, profound thought: Donโt combust. Donโt combust. Donโt combust. Heโs already reaching for it before his body catches up with his brain. โNoโ I mean, yeah,โ he croaks. โSure. Totally. Why not."
The room holds its breath. His ears are definitely red.
In the blink of an eye, youโre sitting on the stool right next to him, and he turns to face you.
You lean in, slowly, and every inch closer is a personal attack on Minhoโs ability to remain upright.
Okay, he tells himself. Cool. Youโre fine. Itโs just a game. A snack. A stick. A proximity-based ritual of emotional doom. Totally normal.
Your eyes flick up to his again andโboom. There goes his brain. Just gone. Replaced with white noise and the echoing reminder that your lashes are stupidly long and your nose crinkles just a little when you smile, and heโs so, so doomed.
He can feel your breath now. Warm. Sweet.
Abort. Abort. You are not built for this.
Youโre smiling like you know exactly what youโre doing to him.
Nope. Just trying the challenge. Calm down. This isnโt about you. Except it is about you. Because you picked him. You wanted to try thisโwith him.
He doesnโt know where to look. Your eyes? Your mouth? Somewhere neutral, like the ceiling?
His lips are millimeters from yours now. Time has completely stopped. His hands are clenched at his sides because if he moves them, he knows, he knows, heโll reach for you.
Youโre so close now.
The room has gone quiet in that strange, electric wayโlike even the air doesnโt want to interrupt.
The pocky stick trembles slightly between you, balanced between your mouth and his, and Minhoโs pulse is so loud in his ears it feels like a countdown.
Youโre leaning in slowly, a little hesitant, like youโre trying not to laugh, like you canโt quite believe youโre doing this either.
Minho canโt hear the others anymore. Canโt remember his name, the challenge, the contextโnothing. All he can see is you.
The soft part of your smile where your lips meet the stick. The tiny shift in your expression as you get closer. Your lashes lowering just slightly. The edge of pink on your cheeks.
And then, something in him snaps.
This might be the only time, his brain whispers, already folding itself into silence. The only chance. You donโt get this twice.
So he leans in just a little more. Not enough to scare you off. Justโcloser. Closer than he should. Enough to feel the whisper of your breath against his skin.
Your eyes flick to his. Wide, surprised.
But you donโt pull away.
So he doesnโt either.
The stick between you cracks softly as you near the middle. And still, he keeps going.
Your breath hitches.
And just before the Pocky snapsโ
Your lips meet.
Itโs soft. Just a brush. Warm and uncertain and far too short. But it hits him like gravity suddenly tripled, like heโs stepped off the edge of something tall and forgotten how to land.
He barely remembers the crunch. Barely hears the explosion of screams behind him.
All he knows is that your lips have touched hisโand that nothing, absolutely nothing, had prepared him for how right that feels.
Minho doesnโt move.
He isnโt sure he can. Heโs frozen, standing perfectly still like his nervous system has short-circuited and justโฆ shut down. His ears are ringing. His heart is somewhere in his throat, possibly on fire. And youโre still right there, eyes wide, fingers covering your mouth in stunned shockโand maybe, just maybe, a tiny smile hiding beneath it.
His lips tingle. Every neuron in his brain has turned off except the one whispering, You kissed. You kissed. You actually kissed.
Someone claps him on the back way too hard. โThat was the smoothest thing Iโve ever seen you do, you absolute menace.โ
Minho blinks. Heโs barely processing it. The voices are background static. Youโre still the only thing in focus.
Youโre biting back a laugh now, cheeks flushed, glancing around like you canโt believe this is happening.
But thenโyour eyes meet his again. And it hits him all over again. This just happened. You kissed him. Or he kissed you. You kissed.
Minho tries to speak. Fails. Swallows. Tries again.
โYouโuh. That wasโฆโ he manages, rubbing the back of his neck.
You give him a lookโshy and warm and teasing all at once. โHappyโฆ Pocky Day?โ
He laughs. A little too breathlessly. โBest holiday Iโve ever celebrated.โ
Across them, Felix bites his lip. "Let's not tell them we're still in April." Felix snickers softly at Jeongin. "What? I wouldn't want to ruin the magic!"
If one were to cast a spell and see into the future, this author thinks itโs quite obvious to think that Minho couldnโt wait until November to kiss you again.
Note: A small cute story for our Cutie Channie because I'm in my depressing mode and ofc why not?
---
"Youโre literally husband material, Chan."
The words had slipped out before Y/N could stop herself. Sheโd meant to keep that particular compliment in her thoughts, tucked safely away where he wouldnโt hear and tease her about it for the rest of her life.
But now Chan was frozen in the middle of the kitchen, spatula in one hand, frying pan in the other, eyes wide like sheโd just proposed marriage.
โWait, what did you just call me?โ he asked, a slow grin tugging at his lips.
Y/N groaned and dropped her forehead to the kitchen counter. โForget I said anything. Please.โ
โNope, nope,โ Chan chuckled, setting the pan down and walking toward her. โI definitely heard it. Husband material, huh?โ
She peeked up through her fingers to see him looking far too smug for someone wearing a pink "Kiss the Cook" apron.
โLook,โ she defended, โyou cooked breakfast, you did the dishes without me asking, you even folded the laundry and separated the socks. If that doesnโt scream โhusband material,โ I donโt know what does.โ
Chan raised an eyebrow, leaning casually against the counter. โSo your ideal husband is someone who cooks, cleans, and folds laundry?โ
โThatโฆ and someone who spoils me, listens to me ramble at 3AM, buys me extra fries even though I said I didnโt want anyโฆโ she trailed off, narrowing her eyes at his knowing expression. โWhich you also do, by the way.โ
He laughedโsoft and fondโbefore stepping closer and gently brushing a crumb off her cheek. โYou know I only do all that because I love you, right?โ
Her breath caught a little at the way he said itโso naturally, like telling her he loved her was as easy as breathing. And for Chan, maybe it was.
โI love you too, Mr. Husband Material,โ she said with a teasing smile.
โSay it again.โ
โWhat?โ
โMr. Husband Material. It has a nice ring to it,โ he grinned.
She rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her. โAlright, Mr. Husband Material, if you really want to earn the titleโโ
โI do.โ
โโthen I hope youโre ready to help me build that IKEA shelf in the living room.โ
Chan stared at her for a moment before dramatically sighing. โFine. But if I get trapped under a pile of unassembled furniture, I want a lifetime supply of forehead kisses.โ
Y/N laughed, looping her arms around his neck. โDeal.โ
And as he kissed her softly on the forehead, she thought: Yep. Definitely husband material.
Genre: friends with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff
Summary: You and Hyunjin have been doing this 'friends with benefits' thing for a while now. But let's be real. You love him. And when he starts showing similar feelings, you're terrified. And it leads to a whole lot of Hyunjin-style drama.
โFuck, princess,โ Hyunjin groaned, voice wrecked, โyouโre so tight.โ
He had you pinned to the bed, as he fucked you like the worldโs about to end. His hips snapped against yours, each thrust hitting so deep youโre seeing stars. Galaxies even. His lips were on your neck, sucking bruises - which would have your art class whispering for weeks.
You pressed your eyes shut, losing yourself in him completely. The way he moved in and out of you. The soft wet sounds that filled the room. And him whispering the filthiest things in your ear.
You were barely coherent, nails digging into his back, pulling him closer. Hyunjin had this glint in his eye, as he shifted slightly, hitting that spot, and you choked out a moan, tugging at his short dark strands.
His hand slipped between your bodies, fingers circling your clit, and your orgasm hit you so hard, and you whimpered his name, clenching around him so tight, making him curse.
His thrusts turned sloppy as he whispered, โFuck, thatโs it,โ
He came just as hard, burying himself deep inside you, and you were both panting, sweaty messes when he finally collapsed beside you. Pulling you close, he kissing your temple, and you let yourself enjoy it, just for a second.
It started about an year ago at a frat party you were dragged to by your friend, Jennie. Youโd been sulking in a corner, nursing a warm beer, when Hyunjin, already tipsy, waltzed over, and declared you โthe hottest grump heโd ever seen.โ Youโd scoffed at him, but in less than ten minutes, you had somehow ended up making out in his room upstairs.
One thing led to another, and now you were in this absurd, hilarious mess called, friends with benefits.
---
Hyunjin: You left your glasses on my nightstand. I can bring it over
You: Bring it to class tomorrow
Hyunjin: Iโm keeping them hostage.ย
You: Hyunjin ๐
Hyunjin: Sleepover tomorrow? Iโll make pancakes.ย ย
You: Maybe. But only for the pancakes.ย ย
Hyunjin: Liar. You want my pancakes and you know what.
Hyunjin: Night, Nerd Queen ๐
You: Night, Hwang.ย ย
---
You smiled at your phone, heart doing that stupid flip again. You knew you shouldn't be feeling like this. You two were friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. But every time you were with him, you fell for his stupid smile and his childish self way harder than you liked to admit.ย
It was a Friday night, and you were curled up in your dorm, binge-watching a new series, when your phone started buzzing.
Hyunjin's frat was organizing a party, and he was probably charming the socks off everyone with his stupidly perfect face. You were trying to stay strong - no running to him tonight - because if you kept giving in to his every whim, he would surely figure out that you were completely, pathetically in love with his dramatic ass.ย
And that was a secret you kept locked in a vault.
But Hyunjin? He wasn't making it easy. Your phone lit up again, and you caved, glancing at the screen.
---
Hyunjin: Babbyyyyyy where are you ๐ญ This party sucks without you!ย
Hyunjin: Seriously, come over. I miss your face.ย ย
You: Youโre drunk, arenโt you? Iโm staying in. Go flirt with your bros.ย
Hyunjin: Drunk? Me? Pshh. Ok maybe a lil. But I only wanna flirt with youuuu.
Hyunjin: Come over, Iโm lonely.
You: Lonely? Go cuddle Felix.
Hyunjin: Felix doesnโt moan like u do.ย
You: Nope. Iโm in my PJs, and I'm comfy. Youโre on your own tonight.ย ย
Hyunjin: I'm coming to you then. Can't escape me.ย ย
You: Hyunjin, no. Stay at your party. Youโre too drunk to walk across campus.ย ย
Hyunjin: Too late. I'm on my way. Gonna cuddle you so hard you forget ur own name. ๐คย ย
You: Oh my god.ย
Hyunjin: I'm gonna climb into your bed and never leave.ย
You: Iโm locking my door.ย ย
Hyunjin: You won't. You love me too much. ๐ Be there in 10. Wear that sweater I like.
---
You groaned, tossing your phone onto your bed. You should lock your door, but you donโt. Instead, you fix your hair, pull on that oversized sweater (the one he liked, because apparently youโre weak). Your heart did that stupid fluttery thing again, and you hated it. You were supposed to be the cool, studious introvert. But here you were.ย
Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on your door. You opened it, and there he was, looking like a dishevelled Greek god. His short hair and forehead glistening with sweat, his cheeks flushed, and his leather jacket slipping off one shoulder.
He gave you a sunny smile, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.
โMy girl!โ he slurred, stumbling forward and wrapping you in a sloppy hug. He smelled like beer and his cologne, and it was so unfairly intoxicating. โTold ya Iโd come. Missed you so much.โ
โYouโre so drunk, Jinnie,โ you said, but you were smiling as you guided him inside, shutting the door. โHow did you even make it across campus without falling into a bush?โ
โLove,โ he declared dramatically, flopping onto your bed. โLove gave me wings.โ
He patted the bed, saying โCโmere, nerd. I need cuddles.โ
Then he decided that he couldn't wait, and grabbed your wrist, tugging you down next to him. You landed with a squeak, and he immediately buried his face in your neck, nuzzling like a needy puppy.
โFuck, you smell so good. Likeโฆ home and sexy books.โ
โSexy books?โ You laughed, pushing at his chest, but heโs clinging to you like a koala. โYouโre ridiculous.โ
โMaybe,โ he mumbled. โGod, I love you.โ
He's drunk, you remind yourself. He doesnโt mean it. But your poor heart wished that he did. Meanwhile, his hands slid under your sweater, and you yelped as his cold fingers grazed you stomach to move up and cup your breasts.
โHyunjin! Your hands are freezing!โ
โThen warm me up,โ he whined, and before you could stop him, he was crawling under your sweater, tugging it up and burrowing into it. โLemme in, itโs cozy in there.โ
โOh my god, you won't fit under my sweater!โ you laughed.
He was wiggling, his head and shoulders all the way under the fabric.
โYouโre gonna rip it!โ you squealed, but he just hummed, pressing his face into the space between your breasts.ย
โWorth it,โ he mumbled, voice muffled. โWanna live here forever. Youโre so soft. And warm.โ
You were dying, torn between shoving him off and melting at how stupidly cute he was. He was still trying to fit into your sweater, but finally gave up with a huff and whine and said, โFine.โ
And then settled for wrapping his entire body around you instead. He threw a leg over yours, arms squeezing you tight, face buried in your chest (half submerged in your sweater).
โThisโll do. For now.โ he said, and you hummed, stroking his back.ย
โYouโre such a baby,โ you said, and you both remained silent as his breathing slowed and you thought he was falling asleep. But then he murmured, โLove youโฆso fucking much. Youโre my everything.โ
Your heart stopped. You froze, hand still on his back, waiting for him to laugh it off or say something dumb. But he just snuggled closer, sighing like he was finally at peace. You swallowed hard, emotions bubbling up.
You loved him too. His childish giggles, his unhinged texts - but saying it felt too big, too scary. So you just hold him, letting the moment linger.
โSleep, you idiot,โ you whispered, kissing the top of his head (poking out through the neckline of your sweater). He hummed, already half-gone, and soon he was snoring softly, clinging to you like youโre his lifeline.
---
Hubby: Morning, wifey ๐ You're so cute when you sleep. Didn't wanna wanna wake you up. Let's go get some breakfast?
You: WIFEY? You changed your contact name to HUBBY? Hyunjin, Iโm going to murder you.ย ย
Hubby: Murder your husband? Harsh, babe.
You: Youโre not my husband. Youโre a silly boy who needs to stop stealing my phone.ย ย
Hubby: I donโt have to steal anything. You're mine. Your phoneโs mine. Deal with it, nerd.
You: You're delusional.
Hubby: Call it what you want
Hubby: Now come gimme a kiss, Iโm dying๐ฉย ย
---
You rolled your eyes, yet you were grinning like an idiot before kicking your feet and squealing into your pillow.
---
Later that day, you were in the library, trying to study, but Hyunjin had other plans.ย
---
Hubby: Wifey, Iโm lonely ๐ข Lets study together.ย
You: Stop calling me that. And Iโm not falling for your tricks. Iโm studying.ย ย
Hubby: Tricks? Don't be so mean my love
You: Iโm muting you.ย ย
Hubby: You canโt mute your soulmate. Be real fir once, you can't resist me.ย
You:ย You're so full of yourself.
Hubby: Come over and you'll be full of me too ๐
You: Omg HYUNJIN.ย
Hubby: Lmao you're so easy to rile up. Ok, Iโll be good. Love u, wifey.ย
---
You bit your lip, trying not to smile. He was so stupidly endearing, and you hated how much you loved it. You were about to reply when a shadow fell over your table. You looked up, and there stood Hyunjin, holding a coffee and grinning.ย
โSurprise, wifey!โ he said, loud enough for it to echo through the library. He slid into the seat across from you, completely ignoring everyoneโs glares. โCoffee for my love.โ
โYouโre not my husband,โ you hissed, but you took the coffee. โAnd how are you even here? Donโt you have class?โ
โNope,โ he said, leaning forward, chin in his hands. โHad to see you. I knew you'd be wearing those glasses and looking so cuteโฆmakes me wanna bend you over this table.โ
Your jaw dropped, and you kicked him under the table. โHyunjin! Weโre in a library!โ
He laughed, unbothered, and grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles.
โCanโt help it.โย
You snatched your hand back, face burning.
โYouโre insane. Go away before I get kicked out.โ
โNope,โ he said again, scooting closer until his knee brushed yours. โIโm staying. Gotta protect my wife from nerdy predators.โ
He winked, and you were so torn, because you wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe this was real. But this whole thing started off on sex. And you were worried that he'd get bored and he'd get over you.ย
You tried to focus on your notes, but Hyunjin was making it absolutely impossible - humming softly, doodling โMr. & Mrs. Hwangโ in your notebook. You give him a glare and yanked your book away, ruining the cute doodle he was working on.ย
He gave you a pouty look, and you narrowed your eyes at him. The usual Hyunjin would whine or tackle you into a hug. But he did none of that. Instead he stood up, putting your pen down as he held your gaze, and then just walked away.ย
You watched him disappear, and for the first time ever, you were terrified.ย
It has been three days since the library incident, and youโre losing your mind. No โwifey,โ no texts about bending you over a library table.ย
Nothing. Justโฆ silence. The worst part? You missed it. You missed his childish whining, his needy cuddles, his sweet face. You tried to play it cool, but by day four, you were a mess.
You had just finished class and were walking towards the campus cafe, when you spotted him. Hyunjin. Reading. You did a double take, nearly spilling your drink. Since when did Hwang Hyunjin, read a book that thick? He was sitting under a tree, leaning against the trunk, looking so soft in his hoodie and glasses (glasses?!). Your heart squeezed, but you were also annoyed.
You marched over, plopping down next to him. He glanced up, one eyebrow raised, and went back to his book. No grin, no nothing. Just a cool, โHey.โ
โHey?โ you repeated, incredulous. โThatโs it? Why are you ignoring me?โ
He closed his book, looking at you with a neutral expression that was so unlike him it was creepy.
โIโm not ignoring you. Iโm justโฆ reading.โ
โReading?โ You narrowed your eyes. โYou havenโt spoken to me in days. Whatโs your deal?โ
He shrugged, and said, โFigured you were sick of my โneedy bullshit.โ You kept telling me to stop, so I stopped.โ
You blinked, caught completely off guard. He was beingโฆ serious?
โI didnโt mean stop everything. Youโre acting like weโre strangers.โ you snapped.
โIโm giving you space,โ he said, his voice is tight. โYou said I was too much. So, hereโs not-too-much Hyunjin. Happy?โ
Happy? You were miserable. But he was staring at you, all sulky and gorgeous, and you realized that he was on strike. No kisses, no touching, no sex. He was punishing you for resisting, and oh, it was working.
โYouโre pouting,โ you said, poking his cheek.
He swatted your hand away, but there was a flicker of his usual playfulness.
โAm not,โ he muttered, turning back to his book. โGo study or whatever. Iโm fine.โ
You stared, heart twisting. He was hurt, and you did this. You pushed him away, and now he has dialled it back to zero. But you weren't letting him win this. You needed your Hyunjin back, drama and all.
You couldn't take another day of this cold-shoulder nonsense. You mustered the courage for what you were about to do, and walked to the frat house. Ignoring the party raging downstairs, you headed straight for Hyunjinโs room. You didn't knock - you just barged in, and there he was, at his desk, sketching. He was in a loose tank top, hair messy, pencil moving with that focused intensity that made him look so unfairly hot. He glanced up, startled, then leaned back, crossing his arms.
โEver heard of knocking?โ he asked, but there was a spark in his eyes, like he'd been waiting for you.
โNope,โ you said, shutting the door. โWe need to talk.โ
He raised an eyebrow, playing it cool, but that poutโs still there, lingering. โTalk then. Iโm listening.โ
You took a deep breath, heart pounding. Youโve been resisting him for months, pretending you were not in love with him. But you were done fighting. You reached into your pocket and pull out the ring pop you had bought on a whim at the campus store - a cheap plastic band with a strawberry-flavored candy โdiamond.โ It was ridiculous, but you were desperate.
โHyunjin,โ you said, stepping closer. โIโm sorry. I didnโt mean to push you away. I was scared. Because I have wanted more for a while now. I don't want to be someone you sleep with. I wanna be more. I miss you. I miss being your wifey. I miss you so damn much.โ
His eyes widened, but he didnโt say anything, so you kept going, holding up the candy ring.
โYou wanna be my husband? Fine. Hereโs your ring. Marry me, you idiot.โ
For a second, he just stared, and you felt like you'd broken him. Then his face blooms - eyes sparkling, cheeks flushing, grin so wide it could overshadow the sun. He looked so happy, so Hyunjin, it was like the room got brighter.
โWifey,โ he breathed, voice shaking. โYouโre proposing? With a candy ring? Fuck, thatโs so cute. I think I'm gonna cry.โ
โPlease donโt cry,โ you said, but youโre grinning too, heart racing. โJust say yes so I can stop feeling like an idiot.โ
โYes yes yes,โ he said, jumping up and grabbing your face, kissing you so hard you stumbled back. His lips were soft and desperate, and you kissed him back, hands tangling in his hair, and it was like the world snapped back into place. He was yours, drama and all, and you were his.
The kiss deepened, all tongue and heat, and you were both gasping, pulling at each other like youโve been starved. He lifted you onto his desk, knocking over his pencils and sketchbooks, and you laughed against his mouth.
โCareful, Hubby,โ you teased, and he groaned, kissing you harder.
โSay it again,โ he murmured, hands sliding under your shirt, warm and needy. โPlease.โ
โHubby,โ you whispered and he practically whimpered, pressing himself closer, lips trailing down your neck. You made out for what felt like hours, all sloppy kisses and wandering hands, until your lips were swollen and your hearts pounding.
Finally, you pulled back, both of you panting. He had the candy ring on his finger, and he looked so genuinely happy and excited.
โI love you so much,โ he said, holding up his hand to admire the ring. โStrawberryโs my favorite.โ
โYouโre such a dork,โ you mumbled, but you were beaming, because heโs your dork. โI love you, Jinnie.โ
---
Hubby: My heartโs gonna explode.ย ย
You: You survived the strike, youโll live.
Hubby: Never. You looked so hot with that ring, though. Oh fuck, I'm hard again.ย
You: HYUNJIN. Behave for five seconds.ย ย
Hubby: Canโt. Iโm married to the hottest nerd ever. Iโm gonna kiss you forever.
You: I love you baby
Hubby: Fuck, I love you. My wifey. My nerdy goddess. Iโm never shutting up again, you know that, right?ย ย
Requested by anon. This is from my prompt list. It's my first time writing for Lix so please be gentle ๐ฅบ will try to post one more prompt tonight
14. Skittle game (adult version)
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: smut, fwb to lovers, contains a funny epilogueย
Alexa, play Seรฑorita by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello
The party was over. There were left only empty bottles on the table and music humming low from a now forgotten playlist, and the room smelled like beer and detergent. You were the only one left with feet bare, sleeves pushed up, scraping crumbs off the counter while Felix watched you from the couch.
He was slouched deep into the couch, his shirt riding up just enough to show a sliver of skin above his waistband. His eyes were heavy, but still watching you, โYou donโt have to cleanโ,ย he murmured, voice deep as usual, โYouโre not my girlfriendโ.
You glanced back, smirking, โGood thing. Iโd be a terrible oneโ.ย
Felix just grinned, โYouโd ruin me if you wereโ.ย
Your skin tingled with it but youโve danced around this too many times to let it get to your head. You rolled your eyes and tossed the last napkin into the trash.
โWant me to do what instead of cleaning?โ
ย โWant you to sit your pretty ass down and play a game with meโ, he said, holding up a nearly empty bag of Skittles.
You raised a brow, โSkittle game. Seriously?โ
He shrugged, โCโmon. Adult version. One round.โ
You hesitated. Not because you didnโt want to. Damn, you always want to when it comes to Felix. But because these nights had a habit of turning into something moreโ almost everytime.
Still, you walked over and sat beside him, thigh pressed to his,ย โFine. Let's do itโ
He shook the bag, grinning like a devil, โPick one, make a questionโ
You drew first.
Orange.
You popped it into your mouth, let it melt a little on your tongue, then glanced at him,โSmash or pass?โ
Felix huffed, โThatโs not funny. Weโve already smashedโ
โDoesnโt mean you won't pass next timeโ
His eyes darkened, โI won'tโ
โSomeone is confident tonightโ
โIโm always confidentโ
He leaned in then, mouth inches from yours, like he was daring you to kiss him first. You didnโt, you just drew another Skittle.
Red.
You smiled, โKiss me anywhere but the lipsโ
His grin faltered for a second, replaced by something slower, still teasingly enough.
โAnywhere, huh?โ
You nodded once.
Felix shifted closer, fingers brushing your knee before sliding up, like he was testing your patience. Then he leaned in and pressed his mouth to your neck, just below the ear, where you could feel your pulse racing.
โYou smell so sweetโ, he murmured, breath hot against your jaw, โAlways do after we fuckโ
Your stomach flipped. You looked at him, but he was already pushing the Skittle bag toward you.
Yellow.
โConfess something that would ruin our friendshipโ, you said,ย โI meanโฆ. the benefits of our friendshipโ
He didnโt even blink as he answered.
โI want you to be mine onlyโ
The air between you gets heavy.
You shift in your seat, pressing your thighs together instinctively, โFelixโฆ โ
โYou said โconfessโ, Iโm just being honestโ
You grabbed the bag again, drawing another candy.
Green.
You lick your lips, โTouch me for five seconds. Anywhereโ
He didnโt think twice. His hand slid between your legs,beneath your dress, fingers reaching the lace fabric of your panties, pressing just hard enough to make your breath shorten. He counted out loud, low, with a smirk on his face
โOneโฆ twoโฆ threeโฆโ
You were already squirming
โFourโฆโ
His thumb circled your clit once.
โFiveโ
Then he pulled away like nothing happened, licking sugar off his knuckle.
You glared at him, โAssholeโ
He laughed, eyes shining, โDonโt lie to yourself, you love itโ
Then it was his turn.
Purple.
โAsk me something you wouldnโt if we were soberโ, he said
You hesitated
โDid you ever come thinking about me before we started hooking up?โ
His smirk faded. Felix shifted in his seat, โYou mean when I tried to pretend I didnโt want you every time you walked in wearing those tiny little skirts of yours? Yeah, I didโ
Your soul almost left your body.
He watched you for a beat longer, then picked the last Skittle from the bag.
Red. Again.
โNo repeatsโ, you murmured
โWho said Iโm repeating?โ
He leaned forward. Fingers curling around the back of your neck and pulled you into his lap like it was instinct. Like it had always been this easy to ruin you.
His lips brushed your ear.
โThis time, Iโm kissing you hereโ, he whispered, mouth ghosting over your chest, just above your heart before taking your lips on his
You were already grinding against him, desperate and warm, too aware of how good he felt under you. Too used to this yet never tired.
Then you slid off his lap, sank to your knees between his legs like muscle memory.
โYou won againโ, you said, smugly.
Felix groaned when your fingers hooked on his waistband, his head dropping back.
โFuck. Youโre really gonnaโฆ?โ
But the sentence died the moment your tongue touched him.
Youโd done this beforeโ too many timesโ but never like this. Never this intentional.
His hands gripped your hair, breath catching every time you swallowed around him, every time you hummed and let your tongue trace patterns he never knew he needed.
And when you glanced up at him with big eyes, mouth full, he choked on your name.
โThisโฆ fuckโฆ this isnโt just a game anymoreโ
You pulled back just enough to murmur, โDid it ever feel like one?โ
He stared at you. And you saw it, right there in his eyesโ something wild. Something like a mix of desire with euphoria.
You took him deeper, and Felix could swear he wasnโt seeing just stars but a whole galaxy. You were there on your knees warm and wet and so into it, and all he could do was sit there with his head thrown back, fists clenched in your hair, making the kind of noises he swore he didnโt make.
โFuckโฆ angel, waitโฆโ
You hummed around him,theย vibration makingย him twitch in your mouth.
โHoly shitโฆ donโt do thatโฆ.โ
You pulled off with a loud pop, blinking up at him, faking innocence, โDonโt do what?โ
โThatโ, he panted, pointing at you like youโd committed a crime, โThatโฆ thing. With your tongue. Shitโฆ I literally almost fell in love with you just nowโ
You paralysed
He paralysed too.
โYou what?!โ
Felixโs eyes went comically wide, โIโฆ I didnโt meanโฆ I meant likeโฆ figuratively, likeโฆโ
You raised a brow, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, still on your knees, โFelixโ
โOkay, technically I am already in love with youโ, he blurted, entire face turning red, โBut I was gonna wait until likeโฆ after. Or during cuddling. Or maybe never? But then you started humming and I justโฆ I panicked. My brain was like, โtell her right now or youโll dieโ โ
You stared at him, still holding his dick.
He stared back, mortified.
โโฆCan I finish first?โ, you asked, poker faced
Felix wheezed, covering his face with both hands, โPlease, God, yes. But like, just pretend I didnโt say anything yetโ
You grinned, leaning back in, โOh, Iโm definitely gonna pretendโ
Just like that, your mouth was back on him, and all Felix could do was grab a pillow, muffle a very real sob, and think โI love her so much itโs disgustingโ.
The pressure built in him, every movement of your lips pushing him closer to the edge. His fingers tightened around the pillow, his breaths coming in quick, shallow gasps, but nothing prepared him for the moment when he couldnโt hold it back any longer.
He pulled you closer by the hair, urging you on as his body stiffened with the release, a broken gasp escaping him. A shudder ran through him as he came undone, the pleasure almost overwhelming in its intensity.
He fought to keep his eyes on you, watching the way you took him in, and the sight alone was enough to make his heart race in a way that had nothing to do with the physical sensation.
Felixโs body trembled beneath you, a mix of pleasure and raw emotion flooding through him. "I can't stopโฆ", he gasped, voice cracked and shaky, but the overwhelming sense of vulnerability felt too real to ignore.
When he was done cleaning himself, Felix pulled you to his lap. His hands were holding on your waist like he was afraid youโd run away.ย
The air was thick with something neither of you felt before.
You rested your forehead against his, your breath still uneven from what everything just had happened, โYou really said it mid blowjob, huhโ
Felix groanned, โI panickedโ
You laughed, but it faded fast. Because you felt what he meant. Not just the words but also the weight of them. Like heโd been carrying this for a while. And suddenly, you didnโt know what to think anymore.
It wasnโt just fuck buddies anymore. Not just games and teasing.
Your fingers trailed up the side of his neck, settling in his long blonde hair, โHow long?โ
He swallowed without looking at you, โFew weeks. Maybe longer. I kept trying to stop. Kept saying it was just sexโ
โBut itโs notโ
He finally met your eyes,ย โIt hasnโt been for me in a whileโ
The silence that followed felt fragile.
โI donโt know what to do with thatโ, you whispered.
โI donโt eitherโ, he admitted, โBut Iโd rather be honest and ruin it than lie and lose you anywayโ
You blinked, chest aching, โLixโฆโ
He shook his head quickly, โItโs okay. You donโt have to say anything. I didnโt say it so youโd fix it. I just fell in love with you while watching you eat cereal in my shirt and talk shit about my taste in movies. I knew I was doomedโ
You pressed your lips to his tenderly, a little sad.
It tasted like goodbye or maybe a beginning.
He kissed you back like he was memorizing the taste of your lips. Like if it was the last time.
When you pulled back, your nose brushed his. Then, you asked, โWhat do we do now?โ
Felix exhaled, still holding you like he was scared youโd vanish. But then he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your jaw, then to your cheek, then the tip of your nose.
And he said, โWe stop pretending. And we figure it outโ
โAnd if we mess it up?โ
He smiled, genuine, โThen we try again. And again. As many times as it takes. I wonโt let you go, Ynโ
Your throat tightened. Your hands slid to his cheeks, and you kissed, deeply and passionate.
When you pulled back, you whispered, โOkay. Letโs do it. Togetherโ
โOkayโ, he nodded, smiling, โUs. For real this timeโ
You both enjoyed the comfortable silence for a moment. Still tangled up in each other but no longer hiding behind rules or teasing or the label of โjust friendsโ.
It wasnโt perfect. But it was real.
And real was enough for you. The both of you.
โฆ
Epilogue:
You were brushing your teeth when Felix walked into the bathroom, hair a mess, sleepy eyes.
He blinked at you through the mirror, โโฆAre you using my toothbrush again?โ
You glance over,mouth full of minty foam, โYou already kissed me after I had your dick in my mouth. I think weโre past toothbrush boundariesโ
He groaned, rubbing his face with both hands, โI hate how valid that isโ
You spat, then wiped your mouth, and leaned against the counter, watching him lazily grab his own brush looking at it with disgust but strangely not actually feeling it
โIโm making cereal for breakfastโ, you said, โThe good kind. With cinnamon crunch rollsโ
He grinned around the toothbrush, โYouโre literally the love of my lifeโ
You smiled at him and said, not being flirty this time, โYeah, I know. Youโre mine tooโ
warnings: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampies, oral (m and f), fingering, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy
synopsis: after 6 years of being away from the village you grew up in, you're finally visiting your grandparents. you're excited to spend time with them, but your heart beats faster at the thought of seeing your first love.
a/n: this fic is for my twin from another continent @jehhskz ๐ฉท thank you for always supporting my works, being on this journey with me and yapping about our sweet hyune and whatever else!! i hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it, happy birthday๐ฅน๐ฉท๐ซถ๐ป
~ divider by: @sweetmelodygraphics
their song๐ฉท
A long exhale left your parted lips, right as you pressed your forehead against the cold window of the car, shutting your eyes tightly.
'Get it together, y/n!', you thought to yourself.
But how could you get it together when you were currently driving towards the place you left almost 6 years ago, the place you haven't even stepped foot in while you finished college and tried to build the career you always wanted in the city?
How could you get it together when you couldn't stop replaying the song that once brought you happy memories that were now just a part of your past, filling you up with melancholy?
How could you get it together when you know he still lives there and it's inevitable that you will run into him? Your heart skipped a beat the moment you thought of that.
How would he react? Would he ignore you as if he never knew you? Would he run into your arms, like you knew you'd feel the urge to do as soon as your eyes land on his? Would he just greet you politely, like you haven't already exchanged your breaths, your innocence, whispers of love, tangled your tongues and your hearts?
Did he move on?
You wouldn't blame him if he did, after all, you were the one who left him when you had promised to always stay by his side.
You called your grandparents earlier to let them know you'll be visiting, finally after so many years, you had to be there to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, you wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. They practically raised you while your parents worked out of the village and you always admired the tender love they had for each other, spending so many years together and going through so much that just made their bond stronger.
You were tempted to ask your grandmother about Hyunjin, what he was doing now or if he had a significant other. But, you had bitten your tongue, too scared to find out the answer to your question.
You only hoped he didn't hate you.
Hyunjin. The boy that smiled shyly at you when you were just five years old, when his mother had brought him to your house for a play date while the parents have some 'grown up time'. You returned the shy smile, playing with the fabric of your nice dress, the one your mom made you wear, saying something about a 'good impression'. The awkwardness between you disappeared pretty quickly, as soon as you showed him your favorite toys, the two of you started playing together in your yard, between all the dirt and the flowers. Your mother had scolded you later for ruining your dress but your grandmother calmed her down, telling her how the dress paled in comparison to having a good time with a new friend.
Hyunjin and you had at least two play dates a week which turned into three, then four, soon you became inseparable; especially when you started going to school together. Both of you were pretty frightened about that change, standing in front of the school gate so Hyunjin reached out to hold your hand, squeezing it reassuringly as your little cheeks became rosy.
He was your best friend, your first and last crush.
Years of being by his side, watching him grow and growing with him, you couldn't imagine your life without him. Hyunjin knew almost everything about you as you did with him and when both of you started high school, something changed.
He was growing up, he was different than before and you started looking at him differently. Before, you were used to the feeling you got when he touched your hand but now it seemed more electrifying. Hyunjin felt the same, suddenly becoming a stuttering mess next to you, staring at you with shiny eyes and a dumb smile on his face while you'd come home from school every day with butterflies in your stomach and a new diary entry to write.
You noticed how pretty his smile was, how gentle his voice sounded when he spoke your name, how his eyes were trained on your lips one too many times. Hyunjin noticed how your silky hair fell over your shoulders, the way you'd flip it back when he called out to you, how you'd smile at him with rosy cheeks.
Then one night while you were sleeping, Hyunjin couldn't hold back anymore. He sneaked out of his room, stalking down the road quietly to your house, you were only a few minutes away from his place. He stood beneath your window, his palms clammy, heart pounding against his chest, his throat completely dry. There was no going back now. You were awakened by the sounds of little stones hitting your window and confusedly you sat up, squinting towards the direction where the sound was coming from.
"What the-" you started as you stood up. You quietly walked over to your window and peeked down.
"Hyunjin?" you wondered to yourself before opening the window abruptly just as he lifted his hand up and threw another little rock, almost hitting you straight in the face but you dodged with a gasp as it landed behind you.
"Bunny! I'm so sorry!" he panicked immediately, flailing his long arms, the nickname he always used for you making your stomach flutter.
"What are you doing here? It's 2am." you asked confusedly.
"Let me come up please. I need to talk to you." Hyunjin looked nervous, shifting from one foot to the other, chewing on his lip and playing with his fingers.
"Can't this wait until the morning?" your brain was still half asleep and the chilly air from the outside made you shiver in the little nightgown you had on.
"I mean... I guess it can. It's just I don't know if I will have courage tomorrow." he mumbled, looking down and kicking around the little rocks with his foot.
"Fine. Come on up." you said and Hyunjin climbed quickly even though you scolded him, reminding him to be careful and quiet.
"Sorry." he sheepishly smiled at you when you grabbed his wrists and pulled him inside, but his foot got stuck which ended in you falling backwards on your butt and him sprawled on the floor on his hands and knees, hovering over you.
"Hyunjin!" you grunted in pain. "If my grandparents find you here-"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" he whispered and the two of you just sat there quietly, trying to hear if there was any indication that someone was coming to your door.
But it was dead quiet, except for the crickets outside of your house and the loud thumping of your heart so both of you let out a breath of relief.
"What did you need to tell me?" you asked after the two of you sat down, you on your bed and Hyunjin on the chair. He stood up abruptly, a shaky breath leaving his lips. Hyunjin rubbed his hands together as he looked away from you. You were suddenly worried, knowing he rarely gets this serious.
"I've been hiding this from you for a while but I can't hold it back anymore, even if you don't feel the same about me I need you to know how I feel because otherwise my chest will burst." he babbled, looking at you nervously.
"Jinnie, what are you talking about?" you asked with brows furrowed, your heartbeat picking up speed.
"I like you. More than friends. As in I'd like to kiss you and hold your hand and have it mean something more than just 'best friends'. I want to be your boyfriend." he blurted out, heart wilding in his chest as he scanned your face, looking for a reaction.
Your lips parted as you stared at him quietly for a moment, trying to process what he was saying. Your dear, sweet Jinnie who you were in love with for years was confessing to you? Looking so nervous and adorable, telling you he wants to kiss you and be yours?
You wished you could scream. So, you did just that. You grabbed your pillow and muffled your excited scream with it as Hyunjin stared at you with wide eyes.
"Um. Are you okay?" he chuckled awkwardly.
"Not really." you shook your head. "Sorry, it's just... I like you too, Jinnie. And I'd love to kiss you and be yours."
"Oh." he stood awkwardly in place like he wasn't expecting a positive answer.
"Are you gonna kiss me now?" you asked sheepishly after a moment of silence.
"Can I?" he looked excited and nervous as he came closer to you and you stood up slowly, nodding at him.
"I- You know I've never kissed anyone before." he said quietly.
"Me neither. It's okay." you gently took his hand in yours and Hyunjin felt the familiar comfort you always gave to him, reaching into his soul even now.
You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, letting the dust settle and the reality sink in, smiles creeping up on your faces as you slowly leaned in. Lips against lips pressed together and your eyes fluttered shut, your entire body buzzing.
Hyunjin squeezed your hand, his other hand tentatively touching the side of your waist as you placed your hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat underneath your fingers.
Everything fell into place then, you were his and he was yours-
"Miss? Miss, we're here." you snapped out of your reminiscing session as the driver pulled up to your grandparents house. You almost forgot how tiny the village is, how cozy and familiar all of it is. The dirt roads you walked on, mostly with Hyunjin by your side, the little forest that led to a clearing you used for picnic dates and stargazing, your grandmother's colorful garden, the porch she always sat on, admiring the flowers she helped grow. Even the air smelled familiar and it was almost as if you had never left.
"Let me help with your bags." the man said as you walked out of the car, taking a deep breath of fresh air into your lungs.
"Thank you." you said as he pulled out your suitcase. "Careful with those, please!" you added as the driver struggled, finally managing to put both of your suitcases down.
You missed the annoyed look he gave you while you put on your lipgloss, making sure your lips were nice and plump as you checked yourself out in the little pocket mirror.
"Oh, right." you remembered. "Here." you opened your wallet and grabbed some bills, paying the driver and leaving him a nice tip.
Before you could close your wallet, something caught your eye. A little picture of you and Hyunjin, where he was holding you from behind, both of your faces rosy with big smiles as you were chuckling together. You sighed and closed your wallet quickly, shoving it into your bag.
"Thanks for the tip, miss. Have a nice day." the man rounded his car.
"You too." you waved and he turned on his car while you stepped back as the screeching tires lifted up the dirt.
"Ugh." you made a disgusted face, turning around to pull your suitcases with you. After a struggle with the luggage, you managed to finally make the little wheels roll as you walked into the driveway of your childhood home.
"Shit!" your heart leaped out of your chest when your foot got stuck and you pulled, gasping once again when you realized your heel broke.
"Great. Just what I need." you rolled your eyes. Not a good beginning to this visit, you thought.
"Oh, she's here!" you heard the warm, familiar voice belonging to your grandma.
"Nana!" you called out to your grandma as she made her way to you, surprisingly agile for her age. "Oh!" you gasped when she gave you a bone crushing hug.
"Oh, how I missed you my child!" she was already pinching your cheeks as you groaned, noticing your grandfather had just walked out on the porch.
"There's my favorite grandchild." he said with a wink and you shook your, chuckling.
"Of course I'm your favorite when I'm the only one." you laughed quietly and grandma shushed you.
"Don't ruin his jokes, it makes him happy." she nudged you with a wink and you nodded.
"Come here." your grandpa kissed your cheeks, taking a moment to look at you.
"You look all serious and business-y." he said and you chuckled, looking down at your attire.
You were still wearing the suit you'd usually wear to work and the heels that were now broken.
"My heel broke." you remembered and you grandma started laughing.
"Honey, you can forget about heels here. I hope you brought some comfortable shoes that are dirt friendly." she joked as your grandpa helped with your luggage.
As soon as you walked into the house, you were hit with an even bigger wave of nostalgia than the one slowly building in your soul while you drove towards the village. They haven't changed almost anything, all the decoration was the same, everything smelled the same and familiar, like the home you grew up in never changed.
Like you never changed.
"Are you hungry, my child?"
"Oh yes." you nodded at your grandma eagerly, happy to be eating her home-cooked food.
"Good, wash your hands and join us for dinner."
She gave you some house slippers as you threw your poor broken heels aside and after washing your hands, you joined them at the table.
"So, how is the big city treating you?" your grandpa asked and you caught them up on your work, friends, your apartment, anything about the city you thought was worth mentioning.
"How are things here?" you asked after they listened to you, interested in your new experiences.
"Oh, you know. There is always something to do here. We have the house, the garden, the chickens, the goats. We are not as young and strong as we were once before but we are used to working. Plus, someone always comes to help out." nana explained.
"Like who?" you asked absentmindedly, chewing on the salad.
"Well, do you remember Chan? He was always a nice boy, that one. He got married recently but he still comes to help out with some repairs the house needs."
"Chan got married? Wow." you chuckled, it made sense. He had the same girlfriend for years and he was older than you so you weren't that surprised.
"And of course, Hyunjin." you grandma gave you a knowing smile as your entire body froze and you almost choked on your salad.
"Hyunjin got married?!" you spat out and your grandma gasped and then started laughing.
"No, dear, no." she chuckled at your reaction. "I meant Hyunjin comes here to help a lot. He repainted the entire kitchen and living room. Helps out with the animals and the garden when he isn't working on his farm. Or working around with other people, helping them build their houses and things like that."
"Oh..." you swallowed. "So, you see him a lot?"
"Yeah, almost every day!" grandpa chuckled. "He even joined us for breakfast this morning."
You suddenly felt a knot forming in your stomach. Hyunjin spent more time in your home, with your family than you did.
"Does he... does he have someone? You know. A partner." your voice broke a little as you blinked your tears away. You hated how you always cried easily, especially when it's about Hyunjin.
"No, he only works." your grandma frowned. "That boy never stops from early in the morning until late night hours. He just works and works his days away."
Somehow, that made you feel a little more at ease even though your heart still hurt.
"He asks about you, you know." grandma added.
You almost choked on your food again.
"He does?" you swallowed quickly, deciding that your appetite is now gone.
"Yeah. He asks if you're healthy, if you're doing good."
"Oh."
The weight of your grandma's words settled in your heart, heavy like a rock even as you tried to distract yourself with washing dishes and helping her clean up.
"Your room is the same as it was always. We never touched or removed anything." your grandma smiled at you, her hand gentle on your cheek.
"You should go see Hyunjin." she added.
"I- Maybe later." your throat dried up and you needed a moment to yourself, a moment to gather your thoughts. You walked up the stairs to your room as soon as you finished cleaning up, pulling your suitcases up with you. When the door creaked open, you were greeted by your past.
Your grandparents really left everything intact.
You stopped in your tracks after closing the door, too scared to move so you wouldn't disrupt the memories you were witnessing in your mind. Countless times Hyunjin and you spent here, ever since you were kids all the way up to the end of high school and the summer before you left for good. He was everywhere in that room. He sat on your windowsill, he paced around the floor, he swayed backwards on your chair (falling on his butt one too many times), he laid on your bed, kissing you and telling you how much he loves you.
There were polaroid pictures of you on the left side of your table, the drawings he gave you as a gift, your favorite teddy bear he got you for your one year anniversary still propped up against your pillows... You opened your drawer and found your diaries, his name scribbled on the pages, on your heart. You picked up one of the polaroids as your other hand automatically went to your chest. The couple necklaces you shared, one half of a heart was still around your neck, hidden under your shirt and close to your heart, the other one was still with him or maybe it wasn't. Maybe he threw it away after you left and never came back, not even returning his calls or texts.
"Hyunjin..." you whispered as you smiled at the picture, him with his hair over his eyes trying to make a scary face and you in the back, your hands on his shoulders as you stood on your tippy toes and put your tongue out, making a silly face.
Suddenly, you were overcome by emotions and tears spilled from your eyes. You loved him your entire life. And even if you tried to escape that feeling, you never really could. Hyunjin grew roots inside your heart and he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. You let yourself cry for a moment, hugging the teddy bear as you sat on your bed.
Should you go see him?
He has every right to be mad at you and you were scared of him turning a cold shoulder. But then again, your grandma said he asks for you. Maybe he is just curious?
Either way, you weren't ready to face him yet.
You decided to unpack and shower, change into something more comfortable and hopefully catch up on sleep.
But as soon as you got into your bed, sleep wouldn't come to you, no matter how quiet and peaceful the village was in comparison to the city and how comfortable your old bed was. Your mind drifted off to that night when Hyunjin snuck in, right before your prom.
Six years ago
"Hey, little bunny." Hyunjin had climbed through the window that you left open for him, knocking down one of your books from the shelf next to it in the process.
"Hyun!" you scolded him with a chuckle.
"I know, I know. I'm trying to be quiet." he whispered, lifting his arms up in defeat.
"Come here, clumsy." you giggled and he practically skipped to you, his long arms wrapping around your smaller frame and pulling you into him.
"I'm so excited for tomorrow." your voice was muffled by his chest and he chuckled.
"Me too. I hope I don't step on your toes." he grimaced and you looked up at him, your fingers tangled in his long dark hair.
"You won't. You're a great dancer and we practiced a lot." you smiled, caressing the back of his neck and Hyunjin melted, his arms tightening around you.
"Yes, but when I'm nervous I can't control my body." he whined with a pout. "There will be other people there, looking at us and-"
"You'll do fine, trust me." you interrupted his nervous babbling. "Just imagine it's the two of us, like right now." you swayed slowly and he followed you, exhaling and pressing his forehead against yours.
"I love you, little bunny." he whispered.
"I love you too, Jinnie." you whispered back and his lips were on yours instantly. Hands explored awkwardly as you were backed into your bed, falling down with Hyunjin on top of you. You had messed around like this before, his hands under your nightgown, fingers dipping into your underwear, your hand wrapped around his length.
"H-Hyunjin?" you whimpered as he slowly pumped his fingers inside you, kissing your neck.
"Yes, doll?" he whispered back, the nickname giving you shivers.
"I'm ready. For... you know. I wanna go all the way with you." you bit on your lip as his eyes widened.
"Are you- are you sure? I can wait for you for however long you need. You don't have to feel pressured." he shook his head, pulling his fingers out.
"No, no. I am sure. I love you and I want to be yours completely." you gripped at his shoulders and Hyunjin's heart leaped out of his chest as he smiled sweetly at you.
"I want to be yours completely too. Be your first and your last. And you mine."
"Jinnie." you almost started crying from the overwhelming feelings, your lips quickly finding his. Hyunjin was a little awkward, unsure of himself and scared that he'll hurt you or do something wrong but he was still gentle, trying to put you first even though he was more excited than ever to have you like this and be connected with you.
"I have condoms in the drawer." you pointed at the nightstand and he narrowed his eyes at you.
"You were planning this?" his face became as red as a tomato.
"I mean, yeah." you nodded, the color of your cheeks matching his. "I've wanted this with you for some time but I was nervous to tell you." you admitted.
"You're so cute, bunny." Hyunjin giggled, caressing your cheek gently with his knuckles.
"Ugh." you groaned in embarrassment while he kept chuckling, reaching for the drawer.
The moment he started pushing in, the world around you disappeared and you were concentrated only on him.
"Does it hurt?" Hyunjin asked as he kept filling you up gently.
"A little." you gasped, it was definitely a bigger stretch than his fingers.
"I'm sorry." he looked guilty immediately. "Do you want me to stop?"
"N-no. Keep going." you whispered, holding onto his upper back.
Hyunjin's eyes fluttered shut when he bottomed out inside you, his entire body was buzzing, his heart was beating fast and he was trying to gather all the mental and physical strength not to finish too quickly.
"Y/n." he gasped when he finally opened his eyes and looked at you, a sweet lovestruck expression on your face, your eyes sparkling, all for him, all his.
"Hyunjin." you moaned at the way he felt inside you and the way he looked at you, like you hung all the stars in the sky just for him.
"I adore you, bunny." Hyunjin said gently and your heart bursted right then and there.
"I adore you too." you whispered back.
He slowly started moving inside you, whispering words of love and praise the entire time as you clutched onto him and returned his praises.
You've never felt like that before, completely and utterly loved by him, connected with him.
Which made it harder for you to give him the news you were supposed to tomorrow after prom.
Present time
You were rudely awakened at 5am when the rooster in your nana's backyard started crowing loudly.
"Ugh!" you forgot about all the charms of living in a village as you grabbed the pillow and put it over your face, a muffled 'shut up' pressed into it. You waited for a few moments, throwing the pillow aside and turning to your left, coming face to face with the teddy bear Hyunjin gave you, which of course you named 'Jinnie' back then, making your boyfriend laugh adoringly at you.
"Good morning, Jinnie." you said to the teddy, pulling the plushie closer to you as you hugged it and sighed. "Guess I should get up." you added with a shrug before stretching and then getting up.
You opened up your wardrobe, choosing to wear a red dress with a dainty floral print on it and got ready in your room, listening to music just like you did every day before school or a date with your boyfriend years ago. You opened up another drawer in your table and gasped when you saw the corsage that Hyunjin gave to you when he came to pick you up before prom.
You clutched it in your hand and thought back to that night, when Hyunjin came to pick you up.
Six years ago
To say Hyunjin was nervous was an understatement. He felt as if every atom of his being was about to burst into little pieces when he rang your doorbell. He was a wreck as he kept wiping his sweaty palms against his jacket, annoyed at the fact that no matter how many deep breaths he took, his heart was still hammering against his chest, ready to burst. Why was he so nervous? It was just you, his little bunny.
Oh, but he wasn't ready and he was right to be so nervous because as soon as your grandma opened the door with a smile, ushering him in, his eyes landed on you and they widened. Hyunjin felt as if the world stopped spinning, all the clocks stopped ticking, his heart quit beating and his breath got stuck in his throat. You became the only center of gravity, pulling him in towards you and nothing else around the two of you mattered.
He was completely and utterly floored and whipped for you.
Hyunjin finally understood the meaning of the word 'breathtaking' because that was the only thing that came to mind as you smiled at him so beautifully, so in love, so happy, wearing the most gorgeous dress he'd ever seen you in.
"Y/n." was the only thing he managed to say and you chuckled, your heart swelling at his reaction.
It was your turn to gawk as he came closer to you, you'd never seen him wearing a suit before and he looked even more handsome than he ever did. Your knees buckled when he stood close to you, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating but his lovestruck smile was even more mesmerizing.
Your grandparents smiled lovingly at the two of you before glancing at each other knowingly as Hyunjin gave you your corsage, gently putting it on your wrist. So many pictures were taken before you had to rush out so you wouldn't be late to the dance.
The night was magical and everything seemed possible under the fairy lights as Hyunjin and you swayed to the gentle melody of the familiar song coming from the speakers.
"Do you want to slip out after our song?" Hyunjin's plump lips brushed against your ear as he pulled you tighter into his heated body.
"Won't the chaperones notice?" you asked as you looked up at him only to find him smirking.
"We'll be stealthy." he said and you giggled.
"Right, stealthy."
"Yes, see I didn't even step on your foot!"
"Not yet." you teased him and Hyunjin pouted, whining and burying his face in your shoulder.
"Mean bunny." he tickled your sides, making you squirm and squeal.
"Fine, sorry." you giggled, knowing he wasn't actually offended. "You did a great job." you added and Hyunjin looked up at you with a sweet smile, his cheeks rosy.
"Thank you, doll. You did too." he smirked, brushing his lips against yours.
You managed to sneak out somehow while everyone was dancing to a quicker beat and you knew exactly where you were going; to your favorite spot with Hyunjin, the path to it so familiar that you could walk through it blind, the soil remembering all your footsteps.
"Hyune, um... I'm wearing heels." you whispered as he shined the path ahead with a little pocket flashlight.
"Oh, right." he thought for a moment before kneeling down. "Get on my back, doll."
"Are you sure?" you asked and he chuckled.
"Of course." he nodded eagerly and you climbed up on his back, feeling light and happy, giggles spilling from both of your lips. "Hold this." Hyunjin gave you the light and you shined it ahead as he gripped the back of your thighs and carried you.
Being a little tease, Hyunjin pretended he was going to drop you a few times only to have you almost scream as your arms wrapped tighter around him.
"Stop that!" you whined.
"Sorry, sorry bunny. I'll stop. You're just so cute." he smirked.
"If you weren't carrying me right now, you'd be in big trouble." you scolded and Hyunjin let out a laugh, your favorite tree coming into view.
"Yes, I know. Biiiig trouble." he kept chuckling and you were this close to biting his shoulder.
"Here we are, bunny." he gently put you down and wrapped his arm around you as the two of you stared at the carving in the trunk.
Hyunjin + Y/n.
Both of you laughed then, you had carved your names in when you were barely 16 and seeing it now was equally as embarrassing as it was sweet.
"Y/n?"
"Yeah?" you looked up at Hyunjin and he smiled sweetly at you.
"I promise I'll love you forever." he whispered, lifting his pinky and you giggled.
"I promise I'll love you forever too, my sweet Jinnie." you whispered back, your pinky curling around his.
Hyunjin chuckled in delight and pulled you into a sweet kiss.
You didn't have the heart to tell him you got into uni and would be leaving the village in September.
Present time
You had to go visit the tree.
"Fuck." you cursed, angrily wiping your tears away, before putting the corsage back into the drawer and slamming it shut.
Too many memories.
You quickly made your way downstairs where your nana was already serving breakfast.
"Oh, I thought you'd be sleeping more, dear." she lifted her brows in surprise.
"I thought so too." you joked, giving her a pointed look and she laughed.
"I see you forgot how it is here." nana shook her head. "When you haven't been around for so long."
"I'm sorry." you grimaced, sitting down to eat with her. "I know I should've visited more. I got caught up in studies and work and-"
"Breathe, dear." your grandma squeezed your hand with a chuckle. "It's not me who you should be explaining this to."
You gulped, knowing she was referring to Hyunjin.
"Where's grandpa?" you asked.
"He's out back, working."
"I was thinking of going for a walk before lunch. I'll make sure to come back though to help out."
"Sure, dear. You haven't been here for so long, you should catch up with the place and the people." grandma nodded with a wink and that was exactly what you planned to do.
It was around 7am when you finally walked out of the house, inhaling the fresh air you were deprived of in the big city. It was a bit chilly in the morning so you draped a light jacket over your shoulders and let your legs lead you through the familiar streets.
You still didn't want to see Hyunjin so you went the opposite direction of his house, trying to stick to the shadows for now, just to have a little more peace to yourself and mentally prepare for the inevitable encounters of everyone you grew up with.
It was painful. Walking all the familiar paths you walked through before with him, it was as if you could hear his laughter echoing down the street. Your heart squeezed in your chest when you realized just where your legs had taken you.
The tree.
It was still there, as tall as ever, its branches familiar as you and Hyunjin had laid under them multiple times, kissing, talking, laughing, holding each other close. You walked closer, your eyes brimming with tears when you saw the carving. Hyunjin + Y/n. Forever.
The word you had added that night after prom.
You cursed yourself mentally for crying again and being so overcome with emotions. You couldn't stand there for too long and were about to leave when something caught your eye. Another carving, smaller and almost unnoticeable on the right side of yours. You leaned in closer to inspect it and your heart almost stopped.
Hyunjin.
Nothing else, just his name was carved into the wood and you felt fresh tears forming in your eyes. Leaving was definitely a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake you ever made, especially after the let down you experienced in the city. You wiped your tears away again and decided to leave the tree be, your heart hurting at the thought of Hyunjin sitting under the branches alone, carving his name and wondering why you had never called back or came to see him. You walked away, back down the path and into the village, deep in your thoughts. Lost in the memories of what once was you didn't even realize where you came, as your legs walked on autopilot.
Only when the familiar light blue house came into view, you snapped from your thoughts, eyes wide and heart dropping into your stomach.
"Shit!" you whisper-yelled. This was the only house you wanted to avoid and yet you were standing right in front of it. As far as you knew, Hyunjin's parents didn't live there anymore, he was living in the big house completely alone, his only companions his animals.
Your knees almost gave out as you stared, before getting spooked when you heard barking. A big black dog ran to the fence, barking at you in warning. You had never seen it before so Hyunjin must've gotten it after you went to the city. You backed away as the dog kept barking at you in a not-so-friendly manner. You turned and started walking away, hoping Hyunjin didn't hear that or wasn't home because you still weren't ready to see him let alone talk to him.
Then, you heard a familiar voice.
"Easy girl, easy." you assumed he was talking to the dog as the barking subsided immediately and you stopped in your tracks.
"Well, well." you heard then. "If it isn't little bunny."
Your heart leaped out of your chest. You hadn't heard that nickname in years.
"Don't even wanna say hi?" Hyunjin continued and you heard the sound of the little fence door opening. Slowly, you turned around and basically almost fainted.
This wasn't your sweet, shy and little Jinnie. You almost didn't recognize him as you stared at him with eyes wide and mouth agape.
His long hair was gone, replaced by a neat buzzcut that was also bleached, he had piercings on his ears, his arms were big and muscular, a few tattoos here and there, visible in the tanktop he wore. He looked taller, bigger, more manly. Your knees buckled and the more you looked at him the more you felt lightheaded.
Hyunjin smirked, noticing how you were salivating and a little chuckle escaped his lips.
"Gonna catch flies like that." he teased and you closed your mouth, attempting to compose yourself as you stood up straighter. His eyes then traveled all over your frame, the teasing glint inside them turning into something softer until they fell on the necklace and he felt as if the ground underneath his feet almost gave out.
You were still wearing it. Just like he was, his half heart hidden under his top.
"Hi." you said quietly. "You look different."
"A lot can change in six years." he stated, still keeping a good distance away from you.
"It can." you stepped back, feeling suffocated by his presence as you tried to read his face and tone of voice. Was there anger? Regret? Did he resent you?
"You're different too." a small smile appeared on his lips.
"How so?" you tilted your head to the left, thinking how you pretty much looked the same since the end of high school.
"You've gotten even more beautiful." Hyunjin said like it was nothing and you were sure you were having a heart attack in that moment.
"I- That- Thank you." you had no idea what to say. "I have to go... Help nana with lunch. And stuff."
Hyunjin smiled wider.
"I'll see you later then, bunny."
"Sure." you turned around so quickly that you almost snapped your neck. Hyunjin watched with bathed breath as you scurried away from him.
You finally came back.
-
"Did you see Hyunjin?" nana asked as you helped her clean around the kitchen after lunch.
"Accidentally, yes." you said and she chuckled.
"I never understood why you broke up, you two are made for each other." she said and you almost dropped the plate you were holding.
"We didn't... actually break up. I just left."
"I thought you were still together back then, I was wondering why he never went to visit you or you him. I only realized you weren't together once he asked me if I knew where you lived in the city. Which I forgot the address, dear, so I hope I didn't do anything wrong by not telling him."
"No, no, nana. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I'm not so sure anymore." your eyes welled up with tears as you clutched onto the counter.
"Oh, honey." your grandma was instantly by your side.
"I told him I would come back. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me now and wanted nothing to do with me." you sniffled as nana wiped your tears away.
"Oh dear, Hyunjin doesn't hate you. He talks very fondly of you always. That boy still loves you."
"He- He does?" you thought back to your encounter today.
"A love like that doesn't disappear overnight. Or over the span of six years." your grandma teased, making you chuckle through your tears.
"If you say so."
"Talk to him. He is coming to dinner tonight anyways." she announced.
"He is what?!" you almost yelled.
"He usually joins us for dinner. At least a few days in the week."
You panicked immediately.
"I have to go get ready then!"
Nana bursted into laughter as she watched you frantically run up the stairs.
"What was that about?" grandpa came in, looking up at the metaphorical dust that you left behind after running.
"Oh you know. Love." grandma winked at him and he shook his head with a smile.
Shit.
Hyunjin is coming over for dinner. You had to look your best.
You've gotten even more beautiful.
His words rang in your head and your cheeks became red instantly, heart beating hard in your chest. You quickly opened your wardrobe and began throwing clothes everywhere, your room soon looking as if a tornado had passed through it. You tried on multiple outfits but with every single one you found something wrong. The color was too bright, the shirt was too big, the pants looked weird...
So you settled on another dress, a pretty and white flowy one with yellow flowers on it, the shape of it accentuating your frame, your bare legs on display. You decided to wear heels too and put on some makeup. You were so nervous as if you hadn't already been his.
While you were doing your hair, you stared into your reflection and remembered that warm summer night when you told Hyunjin you were leaving.
Six years ago
Hyunjin and you sat on a blanket, staring up at the stars shimmering in the dark sky.
"Jinnie." you swallowed nervously.
"Yes, bunny?" he smiled, playing with your fingers.
"I have something to tell you."
"Oh? Okay." he nodded, sitting up.
"Um. It's been weighing on me since prom."
"You sound serious." Hyunjin's expression turned into one of worry.
"It is serious. And I didn't tell you earlier because I was afraid of how you'd react." your heart started beating fast. "I got into my uni of choice."
"Bunny! You did?" he smiled wide. "Why didn't you tell me that? You know I support you and I'm proud of you."
"I know. It's just that... I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back." you said. "We talked about this briefly before but... I don't want to stay in the village. There is nothing for me here, I mean career wise. Meanwhile... You decided to work with your father and build your life here."
Hyunjin's smile dropped.
"What are you saying?" his voice sounded strained.
"Are we... Are we breaking up?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"No. No. I don't want to. I don't know." you bit your lip and looked away from him.
"Y/n. Please, don't do this. I've known no one but you my whole life. You're the one I love and the one I promised forever to. We even talked about building a life together, getting married, having kids."
"I know, I know. You're my first love, Jinnie. And those were all nice daydreams but there comes a time when you need to grow up."
"Daydreams? Bunny. Those were plans." his bottom lip trembled and he frowned. "This really sounds like you're breaking up with me."
"No, no." tears started spilling down your cheeks when you saw the hurt in his eyes and realized how harsh your words sounded. "Just... I'm confused. I don't know what to do." you put your hands over your face, a sob escaping your lips.
Hyunjin's eyes softened and he put his hand on your upper back, gently caressing you.
"Hey, look. I know you're scared now, this is a big change. But, we'll figure it out together. You go finish your studies, do what you always wanted to. But please don't throw away what we have. I'll always wait for you, I'll wait until you come visit or I can visit you. We can call each other, we don't have to grow apart in order for you to grow."
"I guess not." his words hit you hard as you looked up at him.
"Don't cry, baby. I love you and I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of my little bunny." he talked, wiping your tears away.
"Jinnie. I love you too." you clutched onto his shirt and cried into his chest.
Oh, how you were going to miss him.
Present time
But after you left, you never even contacted him.
You knew how cruel that was but you thought it was for the best. If you were going to build a life in the city and he was going to stay behind in the village, it was better off like this.
Childhood crushes and high school sweethearts don't always last, do they?
But, your heart hurt so badly every day you were away from Hyunjin. You wanted to forget him, stop loving him but you couldn't no matter how hard you tried. Every time you thought you were ready to take off the couple necklace, your hands would stop functioning. You couldn't bring yourself to do that, the necklace felt as if it was a part of you and despite being away from Hyunjin you knew your heart would always belong to him.
With a sigh, you finished getting ready, wondering if he could really still love you after you'd hurt him like that.
Before you could come down, you heard voices under your window and you stalked towards it curiously. It was closed so you couldn't understand what they were saying but Hyunjin stood there with your grandpa, his back turned to you. You gasped a little, noticing then how his shoulders and upper back also got wider, the black shirt he wore almost ripping at the seams.
"Give me strength." you prayed to whoever was listening before you decided to stop hiding and finally made your way downstairs.
"Yes, I'll definitely ask Chan to help out with the fence, I think he won't be busy this weekend." Hyunjin said to your grandpa as they walked into the kitchen.
"Great! That's settled then!" grandpa clapped his hands with a satisfied smile. Hyunjin looked up at you then and stopped walking, giving you the elevator eyes.
"Good evening." he smirked a little.
"Evening." you said breathlessly and you grandma chuckled.
"Why are you two acting so formal?" grandpa asked as you sat down.
"Leave them be. They just encountered each other after a long time." nana scolded him and he gave a little shrug.
Hyunjin was sitting right across from you and you felt as if there was nowhere to hide. He kept looking at you curiously and you felt so awkward, trying to avoid his eyes as all of you started taking food out on the plates and eating.
Hyunjin couldn't calm his heart down. All the feelings that he carried inside of him every single day, from dawn to late night, were now amplified a thousand times. All those nights he had thought about you and seen you in his dreams couldn't compare to you actually being in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, he missed you deeply. The love he always had for you never subsided, it only grew more even while you were apart.
Though, he knew that there were things the two of you needed to talk about, he decided not to think about the hurtful side of it, tossing it in the back of his mind as he continued to bask in your presence. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your hands, the way your brows creased when you asked a question to your nana, the way you looked up at him timidly only to look away, the way you nervously chewed on your bottom lip, the way that necklace he gave you laid on your skin, still there, as if you had never left, a sign that you perhaps still loved him as much as he loved you.
"So, how is the city treating ya?" Hyunjin asked you suddenly, eyes trained on you as they have been the entire evening.
"It's... okay." you answered but Hyunjin knew you were lying. He knew when you wore a fake smile and he knew the tone of your voice once you tried to convince yourself you're fine.
"Oh yeah? Got that job you always wanted, hm?" he asked and you looked up at him, trying to see if he was mocking you or resenting you but he looked genuinely curious.
"I did." you answered shortly, a knot forming in your stomach. "I got what I wanted." you forced another smile.
"I'm glad you did." he smiled and you felt the urge to cry again. You wondered what was wrong with you and shook your head, trying to will yourself to smile back at him.
"I always thought the two of you would get married." your nana chimed in, making you almost choke on a piece of bread. Hyunjin chuckled and looked at you.
"We're still young." he smirked a little and you started praying that the floor opens up and swallows you whole.
"You two remind me of us when we were younger." grandpa nodded with a smile.
No, you thought, please stop.
You were really going to start crying.
"Excuse me. I need some air." you stood up abruptly, the chair almost falling over behind you.
Hyunjin watched as you ran out of the front door and he stood up too, excusing himself and following you.
You stood on the porch, hugging yourself and sniffling.
"Y/n?" Hyunjin approached you cautiously. You quickly wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan before turning to look at him.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Sure." you nodded but he knew you were crying.
"You wanna take a walk?" Hyunjin asked, biting on his lip and you chuckled, shaking your head.
"Yeah, why not." you nodded, maybe it was time to stop avoiding him.
You didn't even discuss where you were going to go, you just started walking together in the same direction you always did while you grew up here. It was quiet for a while, only the song of the crickets filling up your ears, a few distant barks and the breeze rustling through the leaves.
"So, what have you been doing?" you asked, trying to break the ice. You couldn't believe you felt so awkward with someone you could talk to the easiest with, out of anyone in your entire life.
"Me? Oh, you know... Working around the farm. I repaired the entire house with some of my mates. It was in a really bad shape, if you remember. We re-did everything, even the roofing and the pipes. Repainted the entire place, changed the furniture... So, it's now like a new house. And I have horses and chickens. A garden. I mean, I work all day, help out others too." he chuckled. "My parents are in the city, they visit sometimes. But, mostly I'm here with Rina, she has been my best friend for three years now."
"Rina?" your stomach dropped instantly.
"Yes, that overprotective black dog that barked at you." Hyunjin smirked at your expression.
"Oh... That's Rina." you said absentmindedly, finally glancing at him.
Your heart stopped.
The necklace. He must've unbuttoned one more button while you were walking, making the other half of the heart visible under his collarbone. He never stopped wearing it either. Suddenly, your stomach filled up with butterflies.
"She's wary of strangers coming near me."
Ouch.
"Yeah." you turned away, the butterflies turning into a feeling of nausea.
"I mean, strangers to her." Hyunjin clarified, realizing how he sounded.
"Yeah, I understand." you gave him a smile you hoped looked real, because you were seconds away from crying. "You still paint?" you decided to change the subject.
"Oh yeah, all the time." he smiled. "Enough about me. What about you?"
"Me? I also work all day. In the office. It's... interesting, I guess. I bought an apartment recently, it's really modern." you talked, realizing how empty your words sounded then. You had no idea what to tell Hyunjin. He had all these projects and people who care about him, animals he cares for and his hobbies. Meanwhile, all you had was a job you ended up hating and no one to come home to.
"I travel a lot." you added, trying to fill up the silence. "For work but also for fun, with some of my coworkers. We went all the way to Bali last year. It was a fun trip, you know. Stuff like that."
"Sounds exhilarating." Hyunjin said, sounding anything but. "Anyone special in your life?"
Why did he ask that.
"No, nobody." you quickly answered.
Hyunjin was hoping you'd say that.
"Good. I mean- Me neither." he coughed awkwardly and stopped walking. You were about to ask why he stopped when you noticed where you were.
"Oh." you let out a chuckle, your face warming up.
You hadn't even realized you came to the only park in the village, and not just that, you were standing in front of your and Hyunjin's bench, where you used to sit after school, talking and kissing.
And well, you sat here on many evenings just like this one, making out. Your face started burning suddenly.
"Shall we sit?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded reluctantly as you felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. The two of you sat down, the silence stretching between you again.
"I-" Hyunjin opened his mouth, then closed them, repeating the action a few times, his brows furrowing and cheeks rosy, his hands gripping the edge of the bench like he was struggling to get his words out. You were almost swallowed by the nerves you felt in that moment, you were scared that he was going to tell you off, just what you deserve.
"I tried to find you." he let out a shaky exhale. "You covered up your tracks pretty well." he scoffed. "I mean, I got the message. You didn't want to see me ever again. And I'd be fine with that if only you gave me a reason, told me why you just disappeared from my life when you've been a part of it since forever. I thought for some time that you have completely abandoned me. But, somewhere deep in my soul I knew you'd be back one day, Y/n."
"Hyunjin..." your bottom lip trembled as your eyes watered. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I made a huge mistake. And I would totally understand if you hated me or resented me and never wanted to forgive me. Just know I felt bad the entire time and I still do." you were full on crying and feeling embarrassed, you looked away from Hyunjin.
"I could never hate you, little bunny." his voice sounded soft and you willed yourself to look at him while you wiped your tears away even though they kept coming. "And I forgave you a long time ago." he whispered. You noticed he was sitting closer to you and your body trembled.
"You did? Why?" you asked quietly.
"Because it's you." he answered simply and you felt annoyed, wanting to hear more. But, before you could ask Hyunjin stood up abruptly.
"Let's meet up tomorrow. Have a picnic like we always used to." he said and you stood up too.
You stared at him and kept thinking, could things go back to how they were before?
You felt as if there was something he wasn't telling you yet, there was no way he forgave you so easily for abandoning him.
"What do you say?" Hyunjin looked at you hopefully.
"Sure. Yeah." you nodded, your body swirling with feelings of confusion, excitement, nostalgia, happiness, sadness... You had no idea how to explain it.
"Great. I'll come to your house around 10am."
"Sounds good."
"Let me walk you home." he added, the two of you walking and talking about the village, who stayed and who moved, which new stores opened and all the other insignificant little things just to avoid the big elephant that needed to be addressed.
"I'll see you tomorrow, bunny." Hyunjin put his hands in his jeans pockets, trying to look nonchalant.
"See you." you hurried inside.
"And that smile?" your nana's voice scared you.
"Oh, nana! Ugh, nothing. I'm just going to see Hyunjin tomorrow." you answered quickly.
"Oh. Hyunjin." she smirked knowingly. "Well, have a good night." she winked before leaving to her room.
You hoped you were going to be able to sleep tonight.
You managed to sleep through the rooster's wake up call, opening your eyes just in time to get ready for your picnic date.
Was it a date? You had no idea what was going to happen but still you wore another pretty dress and put on your makeup. You decided to wear extra shiny lipgloss to make your lips stand out, hopefully get Hyunjin's attention. You felt giddy, like you were that same school girl meeting up her boyfriend, the love of her life.
"Oh, dear you look so pretty." your grandma noted when you came downstairs.
"Thank you, nana." you smiled.
"Are you gonna eat anything?"
"No, Hyunjin told me not to worry and that he'd bring everything."
"Okay, well have fun you two!" she winked at you and you kissed her cheek before skipping out of the house and towards the street where Hyunjin said he'd wait for you.
He wasn't there yet so you stood in place, shifting from foot to foot and wondering why he is late since he'd always been punctual. It was already almost 10:15 and you were beginning to think he had played a cruel joke on you. You were already tearing up at the thought of that but maybe you deserved it after the way you treated him.
You were about to turn around and leave but you heard heavy footsteps running towards you.
"Y/n! I'm so sorry for being late!" it was a breathless Hyunjin, leaning his palms against his knees as he scrunched his face up and tried to calm his heart. "I ran into Chan on the way and he needed help carrying some things, I couldn't say no." he swallowed, straightening up.
Just then you noticed the backpack on his shoulders and the thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead, the tanktop was there again and your eyes followed all the veins popping out.
"Oh, it's okay." you shook your head, feeling stupid.
"Shall we?" he smiled and you nodded, letting him lead the way. His eyes lingered on your lips for a while as he bit on his, before starting to walk. It was clear to you where you were going, the tree was your picnic and stargazing spot for years.
"I saw you by the tree the other day." Hyunjin said, putting his backpack down and opening it.
"Oh? You did?" your heart climbed up your throat.
"Yeah." he smiled. " I thought I was hallucinating."
You chuckled, feeling the need to smack his arm like you always did when he made you laugh but you refrained from doing so.
"Nope, I'm here." you said, helping him put the blanket down.
"I'm glad you are." he said and the two of you sat down, Hyunjin taking everything that he had packed out; fruit salad, sandwiches, coffee. You didn't feel like you deserved this. You wanted to ask him so many things. Like why did he carve his name alone in the tree trunk, why did he seem so normal about all of this, why didn't he just yell at you, like any other person would after being hurt.
"Hyunjin?" you gulped, poking around the plastic container with the fruit. He gave you an unreadable look, his brows furrowing.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" he said and you chuckled nervously.
"Well, that's your name."
"Yeah but you always called me nicknames. Like Jinnie or Hyune. And other things." he looked at the field of flowers swaying in front of you.
You hadn't answered so he turned to look at you.
"Why aren't you yelling at me or cursing me out?" you asked and Hyunjin's eyes widened a little.
"Why would I do that?" he tilted his head.
"Because I promised I'd love you forever and I left. I didn't even come back for six years, I thought I was doing a good thing. That I'd be better off in the city and you'd be better off without me. That I'd be able to move on and forget you. I thought I'd never come back here but after what happened-" your shut your lips tightly, eyes watering. "After being disappointed with everything I thought I wanted in my life, I came back here and expected to see that you moved on or even gotten married. I expected you to hate me, yell at me, curse at me. But here we are, sitting under our tree, having a picnic like I never broke your heart and mine." you were now full on crying, your bottom lip trembling and hands shaking.
Hyunjin observed you with a wistful look in his eyes before smiling softly.
"You wanna know why I'm not yelling or cursing at you?" he said, leaning closer to you.
"W-why?" you stuttered, he got into your private space and even though he changed and grew, he still had that comforting scent of Hyunjin, the one that brought you so much comfort and nostalgia.
"Because of this." he reached towards you and gently gripped the pendant of your necklace between his fingertips. "You're still wearing our necklace. And that tells me everything I need to know. Bunny, I've known you my whole life, I've loved you my whole life. I knew you wouldn't be happy in the city and I knew you'd come back here to me one day. I know that because we were made for each other and because I could feel you inside me every day. I just knew our story wasn't over, it was just beginning."
You were at a loss of words, crying and sobbing as Hyunjin talked, feeling embarrassed and also like you wanted to roll down the hill from excitement. You wiped at your face, trying not to screw up the makeup you worked so hard on while letting his words settle inside your head.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you shrieked suddenly, grabbing onto his arm on accident.
"Y/n." he laughed as you kept squealing and gripping at his bicep while a little bee flew around your body. "It's just a bee, don't be scared."
"Please, make it go away." you whined.
"What can I do, a bee found a pretty flower." Hyunjin smirked at you then and you looked up at him with your eyes squinted before slapping his arm. The loud sound made you jolt a little and you looked down at the muscle, something fluttering inside you. Your cheeks warmed up instantly. Hyunjin smirked, his other hand cupping your jaw gently as he made you look at him.
"You didn't break your promise, doll. You still love me." he smiled.
"I do." you confessed quietly and his eyes sparkled a little as he leaned in closer. His eyes fluttered, his cheeks became rosy and his warm breath caressed your lips. You jolted away suddenly, afraid and you had no idea why.
"I'm sorry!" you said quickly, placing your palm over your heart. Hyunjin looked a little confused, his fingers twitching as his hands longed to comfort you in any way they could.
"I got nervous." you said and Hyunjin laughed.
"Don't laugh at me!" you whined with a pout, kicking your feet a little and that made him laugh even harder. "Stop it." you crossed your arms over your chest with a little huff escaping your lips.
"You're just so cute, bunny." how many times has he told you that and it still made your heart flutter. "It's okay. I waited for you for six years, I can wait a little more."
"I just didn't expect things to go like this." you swallowed and Hyunjin scooted closer to you, tentatively touching your fingertips with his. That was enough for you to feel the electricity running through your body.
"I understand. We'll fall back into us in no time."
"You think so?" you asked, inching closer to him, your fingers now playing with his.
"I know so." he smiled confidently. "Just have to ask one question."
"Anything." you nodded.
"Are you back for good or just the anniversary?"
You looked down and took in a deep breath.
"Please don't tell this to my grandparents yet. But I am back for good. I quit my job and sold my apartment, I didn't tell them anything because I am just waiting for the right moment." your voice trembled.
"Didn't something happen?" Hyunjin asked, leaning down to look at your face.
"Just... People were disgusting. The job was depressing. The apartment was cold. The city was lonely. And maybe a part of me hoped you'd be here waiting for me no matter how selfish that is. Because, I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Jinnie. Even if someone wiped away my entire memory I would still have you engraved inside my heart."
"Bunny." Hyunjin cupped your cheeks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything. I'm sad you went through all of that but it brought you back here, didn't it?"
You nodded.
"And I am glad it did." he leaned in again.
"Ack! The bee!" you squealed as the little creature came back to buzzing around you.
"Silly." Hyunjin chuckled under his breath, 'shielding' you from the scary bee.
You felt as if a stone has been lifted off of your heart as the two of you continued catching up and reminiscing of the good old days. Hours passed by so quickly that you almost didn't realize it was lunch time.
"Nana is expecting me at home for lunch. Do you wanna join us?" you asked with a timid smile.
"I'd love to but Chan invited me to his house for lunch today. We'll come to you tomorrow, he is also excited to see you again, you know that you were always like a little sister to him."
"Oh, I'm excited to see him too." you chuckled.
You couldn't believe that everyone has welcomed you with open arms after you left like that and you were still trying to come to terms that you won't be going back to the city ever again.
When Hyunjin said him and Chan would come around to help your grandpa repair the fence out back, you totally forgot about the fact that Hyunjin would be in a sleeveless top, flexing his muscles and wiping away his sweat constantly. Summer was knocking at the door and the sun was high in the sky. You wore the red dress from the first day, the one Hyunjin stared at so intently when you stood outside of his house. When Chan saw you he made a funny squealing noise, running up to you and picking you up as if you were paper doll, spinning you around as you screamed at him to put you down.
"Aww little Y/n is back!" he pinched your cheeks and you smacked his hands away with a pout.
"I'm only three years younger than you, bro." you emphasized and he laughed.
"I'm glad to see you here. I was beginning to think our Hyunjinnie would die alone." he smirked and Hyunjin punched his side with his fist mumbling a 'shut up or else' and you let out a laugh.
"Congrats on getting married, old man." you smirked and Hyunjin was glad you teased Chan back, a snicker escaping his lips.
"Didn't you say a moment ago it was only three years difference?" he smirked back and you exhaled, rolling your eyes playfully.
"Enough chit-chat. Time to work, boys." you chuckled, sitting at the table your granparents put in the backyard. It was placed under a tree that gave a good shade to it, so it wasn't as hot as it would be but for you it felt like you were enveloped by the sun itself.
Hyunjin was working in the sunlight, his soft skin glistening with sweat almost making him look ethereal and unreal. His muscles were flexing constantly as he moved and lifted stuff up, the veins popping out and now visible everywhere on his arms, hands and even his neck. You were feeling very hot and bothered, feeling like you couldn't breathe properly as your legs pressed together. He glanced at you a few times and you saw the little smirk on his face.
He was provoking you on purpose, the little tease.
Two can play this game, you thought and got up, entering the house so you could find a little towel. You took that time to put on more lipgloss and adjust your dress so your cleavage was more visible.
"There." you nodded to yourself with a smirk before walking back outside and straight towards Hyunjin.
"It's hot, isn't it?" your voice sounded sweet, dripping with honey as you hovered over him where he kneeled, working on the fence. He looked up at you, covering his forehead with his hand so the sun doesn't get into his eyes. His mouth went dry instantly, your bare thighs were right in front of his eyes and your chest on display as you leaned over him.
"Hot. Yes." he managed to say.
"Let me help you with that, Jinnie." you smirked, leaning down a little more as you started gently patting at his forehead, wiping the sweat off and he just sat there breathing heavily as you kept going lower, patting his neck now, noticing how he leaned into your touch, how his eyes fluttered and his breath hitched.
"Better?" you moved away suddenly and he snapped from his trance.
"Y-Yeah."
"Thirsty?" you asked, louder so Chan hears it too.
"Yes!" Chan yelled, his back turned to you thankfully.
You smirked as Hyunjin gulped, staring after you as you turned around towards the house to make some lemonade for the boys. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at you when they took a break, munching on some cookies your nana made and drinking the fresh lemonade. His eyes fixated on your shiny lips and he longed to taste you once again. Chan kept yapping about his wife and farm enthusiastically and you kept nodding and chuckling all the while Hyunjin didn't even hear a word that came out of Chan's mouth.
It was almost sundown when the boys were done and nana invited them to stay over for dinner, ushering them both to first wash their hands thoroughly before touching any food. The atmosphere was warm and homely, a happy feeling swelling inside your chest. You were home, where you were always supposed to be, where you belonged, with Hyunjin.
"I'll be right back." you stood up after dinner, running upstairs to fix your makeup.
Hyunjin waited for a moment before he followed you to your room. You walked out of the bathroom when he appeared on the doorway, leaning there with a fond smile on his face.
"It looks like a time capsule in here." he looked around in wonder, taking a tentative step inside.
"You haven't been up here?" you asked, eyebrows raised as he looked around, taking in all the memories you two had created together.
"No, your grandparents kept it closed. There was no need for me to be here." Hyunjin's eyes lit up when he looked at your bed. "Jinnie! You kept him!" he pointed to your teddy bear, walking in and picking it up.
"Of course I did. I kept everything."
"Even those cute diaries?" Hyunjin smirked. "Dear diary, today Jinnie and I held hands for the first time as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everyone saw us walking to school together-"
"Shut up!" you squealed, ripping the teddy away from him and smacking him with it multiple times as he laughed at your red cheeks.
"What? It was cute." he giggled, slinking away from your attack.
"It's embarrassing. Even more because you still remember what I wrote. Are you sure you haven't been up here?" you teased, putting Jinnie back on the bed and walking to your table.
"I haven't since the last time we were here together." Hyunjin was behind you suddenly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your ear. You gasped, remembering the last night you spent here with him, on top of him as he guided your hips against his slowly, wanting to make it last as long as possible so you never forget how he feels.
"Right." you turned abruptly, the back of your thighs colliding with the table as he hovered over you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of his body.
He smelled so good even after working in the sun almost all day and his skin looked like it needed to be touched, kissed, bitten. A zap of electricity ran through your body as Hyunjin leaned in even closer, his breath mingling with yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and then-
"Come to the lake with me tomorrow afternoon." his lips almost brushed against yours before he leaned away, leaving you frustrated.
"What?" you were lost momentarily.
"The lake. Let's meet there." he said and straightened up.
"Sure." you said and he smirked devilishly.
Just what was he planning now?
"Well, I gotta go home make sure Rina has her dinner and walk. See you tomorrow, doll."
With that, he left your room, his scent lingering all around you, making you want to roll in it and have him close. You couldn't wait for tomorrow.
-
The lake wasn't too far away from your house either, only a 15 minute walk full of chatter and laughter. Your bare arm brushed against Hyunjin's a few times, making you feel like your skin burned whenever it touched his. It almost felt as if everything was going back to normal, like it was before but at the same time you couldn't ignore the things that had changed about Hyunjin.
It was clear; he was no longer a boy, he was a man.
The way he carried himself and the way he spoke was more confident and masculine than that shy awkward Jinnie that tripped over his feet and his words, his cheeks constantly red in your presence. But the way he looked at you full of adoration, that had never changed.
"What made you cut your hair?" you asked as the two of you approached the lake. Hyunjin's hand instanly ran over his head as he laughed.
"It's kinda hard to work with all that hair flying everywhere. It was a nuisance, really. And... You seemed to like it a lot, you always played with it, braided it... But when you left, I figured there was no point in keeping it so I shaved it off."
"Oh." you sighed.
"You don't like it?" he asked cutely, the two of you stopping near the lake.
"No, no, I do. It looks very manly." you said, your cheeks burning up. You didn't say how you thought it accentuated all his beautiful, sharp features, his jawline and his neck that was so enticing to you.
"It does, hm?" he smirked, leaning in closer.
"Yeah." you leaned back a little, your stomach doing flips.
Hyunjin snickered and leaned away with a smirk.
"I have a dare for you." he said and you raised your eyebrow at him.
Hyunjin looked around before smirking at you again, getting into your personal space.
"I dare you to swim naked with me." he said and you almost stopped functioning.
"What? Are you crazy?" you punched his arm but it was more just a tap to him as he didn't even budge, chuckling at you as he crossed his arms over his chest. God, his arms.
"It's not like I haven't seen it all anyways." he said and you gasped.
"Oh my god." you looked away from him, your heart beating hard. "Okay, but only if we leave our underwear on."
"Alright, deal." he smirked and took his shirt off, tossing it aside.
You shrieked, turning away from him because you weren't sure if your heart could take it. Hyunjin laughed, getting rid of his pants without a care in the world.
"Don't get shy, you saw it all." he said and you took a deep breath in before looking back at him.
It's all yours, Hyunjin thought but bit his tongue.
Your eyes went wide and your lips parted in a gasp. Hyunjin was always lean and athletic, but now he was even more chiseled, his thighs were more muscular too, all the little tattoos he had hidden were now visible to you. And the worse thing was that you could see the bulge in his boxers so you averted your eyes, feeling like you might've stopped breathing for a second or two.
"Your turn." he nodded at you with a knowing smirk and you scrambled to take off your dress, feeling embarrassed for some reason. You didn't wear any flashy underwear, just regular black panties and a matching bra that only had a few lacy flowers at the top. It was enough to make Hyunjin drool.
"Beautiful." he muttered quietly, it was your body that he knew very well, the one he mapped out with caresses and kisses, your skin that he marked with his teeth, you who he held in his arms countless times.
"What did you say?" you didn't hear him, shivering a little despite the sun still being up.
"Nothing." he smiled. "Let's get in the water."
You nodded and followed him as he got into the water first, hissing at the coldness before he reached his hands towards you to help you get in.
"Is it very cold?" you asked and he chuckled.
"We swam here multiple times, you know how cold the water is. Just get in, we'll warm up." he encouraged you.
"Fine." you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance as you grabbed onto his hands, warmth filling you up from the simple touch, even though the water was almost freezing cold.
"Motherfucker!" you hissed when it touched your stomach and Hyunjin laughed, dipping in and splashing you a little.
"Don't." you warned but it was to no avail, Hyunjin had that familiar mischievous look on his face, eyes sparkly and dimples showing as he lifted his hands and splashed you harder.
"Hyune!" you shrieked and returned the favor, splashing him back.
"Ah!" he screamed out, followed by a series of giggles as he shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "I'll get you for that." he added, swimming towards you.
Another squeal left your lips as you dipped in and started swimming away, Hyunjin's laughter ringing behind you. How you missed the sound of that. Just as you thought you got away from him, you felt his hands grabbing at your waist as he pulled you closer to him, the water splashing loudly as you flailed your arms and screamed, giggling. His strong arms wrapped around your middle and he pulled you flush against his body, skin against skin and you melted, grabbing onto his hands and resting your palms over them.
"I missed you like crazy." his lips brushed against the side of your neck. "You have no idea just how much." they pressed gently into your skin.
"I missed you too." your voice came out breathy as Hyunjin kissed the droplets of water rolling down your neck.
"Yeah? Show me how much." he turned you around so quickly that you gasped and grabbed onto his shoulders.
You wanted to say something, anything but you were already too far gone so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his around your waist and pulled you into him. It was as if every atom of your being craved to be close to him, starved for years and now finally feeding the hunger and need you had for Hyunjin.
No matter how many time Hyunjin held you, it always made your stomach flip and it was no different now. You felt how hard his heart was beating against his chest and his eyes darkened just a little as he observed you. Your hand touched the back of his head, fingertips pressing against the soft, fuzzy buzzcut. His eyes fluttered and he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing yours gently before his lips touched yours.
Everything came back. The first time you saw Hyunjin shyly smiling at you when you were five, the times you did your homework together after class only to end up playing instead of learning, the times you walked through the entire village, like it was all yours, the park, the lake, the street, the tree. The first kiss you shared that was timid and awkward but still sweet because it was with him, the times he held you close, loving you, deep inside you and wrapped around you, all the time he was there for you, holding your hand, wiping your tears away, making plans of the future he wanted to share with you. It was your Jinnie.
The only man you ever loved.
"Bunny, what's wrong?" you didn't even realize you were crying and Hyunjin cupped your face gently with his cold hands.
"I love you." you said, lifting the last of the weight. Hyunjin's body trembled against you.
"I love you." he whispered on your lips, kissing you harder as you pressed as close as you could to each other.
"You really don't resent me for leaving?" you asked when you parted for air.
"No, bunny, I know you just wanted to finish your studies, try your hand at a career like that. I mean, you could've done all that with me by your side even if it was a long distance relationship. You know I would support you. But, I get it. You thought you'd never come back here and that I would never leave."
"Hyunjin, I'm sorry." you cried again. "I don't deserve you."
"Shh, yes you do. Yes you do, bunny. You know me better than anyone, you were there for me always whenever I was going through a hard time."
"I wasn't there for the last six years."
"You're here now." Hyunjin kissed you again in an attempt to soothe you and distract you and it was working as you melted against his lips, soon forgetting about everything that was bothering you as the world disappeared like it always did with him.
Hyunjin's tongue collided with yours, the familiar taste of him waking up all of your senses as he gripped you harder and kissed you like his entire life depended on it.
"Bunny." he smiled, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Jinnie." you whispered and he pecked your lips once more before swimming backwards with a smirk.
"Catch me!" Hyunjin teased, swimming faster and you let out a noise of protest, knowing you weren't gonna be able to. "Catch me or you lose your dress!"
"What?!" you shrieked as he laughed, swimming towards the shore and quickly grabbing onto the stones.
"Hyunjin, don't you dare!" you yelled when he got out of the water, almost slipping as he laughed and ran to grab all your clothes.
You swam quicker, almost getting to the shore as he snickered and bolted away with your dress and his clothes.
"Hyunjin!" you yelled, struggling to get out of the water as the sound of his laughter drifted further away.
"Bastard." you muttered when you managed to climb out of the water, shivering as the sun was about to go down. There was no way he left you here without anything, especially when the sky was darkening quickly.
"Hyunjin, this isn't funny!" you yelled, taking a few steps forward, realizing he even grabbed your sandals. You cursed under your breath, looking around when suddenly-
"Boo!" Hyunjin sneaked behind you, scaring you out of your wits.
"You bastard!" you whined and he just laughed, reaching your dress towards you. And he was already dressed, the tease.
You were about to snatch it when he lifted his arm, holding it out of your reach. Maybe some things haven't changed like the way Hyunjin would always test your patience, claiming you were so adorable when you were annoyed.
"Ugh!" you jumped up to grab it but he moved it, giggling as he looked down at you.
"Hyunjin, give me my dress." you slapped his chest as he kept laughing and moving the dress away.
"I think you look prettier like this." he looked down at your chest and you gasped, covering yourself up.
"I'm cold, Hyunjin." you said and he shook his head.
"Here." he put the dress in front of your face and you eyed him for a moment before finally grabbing it and putting it on. He gave you your shoes and you put them on quickly as the sun almost set. Your bodies were still wet and putting the clothes over them made it worse.
"I'm really cold." you said and Hyunjin pulled you into his side as he led you back towards your house.
"You should come see how I repaired and decorated the place. Meet Rina too." Hyunjin smiled, rubbing your arm in an attempt to warm you up at least a little.
"Some other day, what I need right now is a warm bath." you sighed.
"I have a bath." Hyunjin smirked.
"I'm sure you do." you lifted one eyebrow at him as he kept chuckling.
As you made your way to your house, you felt so giddy, almost as if no distance ever existed between Hyunjin and you.
"I'll see you tomorrow at the anniversary dinner." you smiled as you arrived in front of the gate.
"Mhm." he smirked, holding your hands and staring into your eyes. You stood on your tippy-toes, pouting at him and he chuckled, leaning down as he grabbed your face gently and kissed you slowly like he was savoring the moment. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you pulled him in, your bodies heating up against one another.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered, pecking him again.
"Night, bunny. Dream about me." Hyunjin smirked, kissing the corner of your lips.
There was no way you were even sleeping tonight.
-
"Good morning!" you practically glided into the kitchen, seeing both your grandparents there.
"Look at you, I'm guessing it went well with Hyunjin, huh?" nana smiled.
"Oh, it did." you said and your grandparents just exchanged knowing looks but decides not to pry. You were walking on cloud 9 all day and you couldn't wait to see Hyunjin again.
You took extra time to do your hair and makeup and wear a nice black dress with heels for tonight, hoping to make Hyunjin's knees buckle just as he made you feel weak. Half of the village was invited to the anniversary dinner and you were so estatic to see all the people you haven't seen for years again and catch up with them. You were pulled left and right, everyone was equally as excited to talk to you, your old neighbors and friends were glad to have you back. Hyunjin arrived a little later and your heart almost leaped out of your chest when he walked in.
"Hey there, little bunny." he smirked, leaning in closer to you as his lips brushed against your cheek.
"Hey, Jinnie." you let out a giggle as your body heated up from the simplest touch.
"You look stunning." he gently grabbed your hand and gave you the elevator eyes.
"You look handsome." you returned the compliment and he squeezed your hand.
"Yeah?" he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully, pushing him away a little.
The dinner went smoothly, everyone was talking and having fun, the food was delicious as always which is something you missed in the city, and after the biggest toast to your grandparents' love and devotion, came more toasts and the glasses were never empty. You were a lightweight so you didn't drink too much, two and a half glasses were enough for you to feel the pleasant warm buzz inside your body. Hyunjin on the other hand, kept drinking with Chan and some of his other friends, his laughter echoing in the room and his face completely red. How much did he have?, you wondered since you knew he could drink a lot more than you before becoming like this.
After dinner, some of the neighbors left home, leaving only a few of you sitting together in the patio out back. Hyunjin slid next to you on the swinging bench with a dumb smile on his face, his dimples visible and his eyes almost disappearing.
"Hey there pretty girl." he giggled, leaning his cheek on your shoulder and pulling you close to him quickly, startling you a little from the suddenness of the movement.
"Jinnie, you're drunk." you let out a laugh as he whined and nuzzled his face into your neck.
"Drunk or not, you're always pretty to me." he smiled against your skin, pressing his lips into your neck and kissing you gently.
"My grandparents are there at the table." you chuckled, trying to pry him off of you as your cheeks burned.
"Did you tell them you're staying here with me forever?" Hyunjin leaned back a little and looked up at you with a cute, hopeful expression on his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you wrapped your arms around him and he leaned against your chest.
"I'll tell them soon." you whispered and he rubbed his cheek against you.
"Mm." he sighed, closing his eyes and getting even closer to you, draping his leg over you and trapping you there with him.
"Hyunjin?" you chuckled after a few moments, caressing the back of his head but there was no answer. "Are you sleeping?" you looked down and sure enough, your Jinnie was fast asleep on you, his face smushed against your breast.
"Poor soul." Lino, one of your high school friends came up to you together with Chan.
"I think he is right where he wants to be." Chan smirked and you really wanted to kick his shin but Hyunjin's leg was blocking your movement.
"Please help me take him upstairs, I don't want him to go home like this." you asked and even though they wanted to tease the both of you, they decided to help. Hyunjin blinked confusedly when Chan shook him lightly.
"Hyunjinnie. We have to go inside." he told him.
"Noooo!" Hyunjin wailed dramatically and gripped you tighter.
"You can sleep upstairs in my bed." you said and immediately he lit up.
"I can?" Hyunjin smiled cutely and you nodded.
He started babbling about how happy he was as Lino and Chan lifted him and helped him get upstairs before they bid you good night and left with teasing smirks on their faces. Hyunjin sobered up enough to brush his teeth before he started throwing his clothes off like they were the biggest nuisance in the world. You just finished getting ready for bed, wearing your favorite nightgown when you walked back into your room and saw Hyunjin almost naked, in the process of taking his pants off. He hopped on one leg cursing and looking like a major klutz as he almost fell down while you observed him and giggled.
"Fuck this!" he whined, throwing himself on your bed and letting out an exhale.
"Need some help?" you walked closer to the bed and Hyunjin smirked at you.
"Please." he nodded.
You managed to slide his pants off, putting them aside before Hyunjin wrapped his legs around you and pulled you towards him, making you lose balance and fall on top of him.
"Jinnie!" you gasped and he chuckled, brushing your hair behind your ears.
"Being in this room with you is like you never left." he whispered and before you could even answer, he flipped you over so now your body was caged under his. Your breath got caught in your throat as you blinked up at him. "This bed, where I made you mine for the first time. Brings back so many memories." he added with a smirk, his plush lips on yours instanly. You let out a little sound of protest because you definitely did not want your first time after being back to the village to be when you're both tipsy.
"Wait, wait." you stopped him, your hands planted on his chest and you were trying to ignore how his muscles felt under your palms.
"What's wrong, bunny?" Hyunjin asked, lips ghosting over your jaw.
"I- I don't wanna do it like this, I want us both to be completely present and sober. I think we should go to sleep now." you said and Hyunjin smirked once again, his big hands on your waist, caressing you as he kissed your cheeks.
"Sleep, hm?" he teased, his hands ghosting over your body but not touching you exactly how you wanted him. Goosebumps rose on your skin as your eyes fluttered and you gripped onto his arms. "As you wish, doll." Hyunjin smirked and rolled off of you, getting comfy on your small bed. You forgot just how small it was, whenever he would secretly sleep over you were both cramped up in the bed and it usually ended with you lying on top of his body as he held you.
Hyunjin grabbed your teddy and wrapped his arms around it as he smirked at you sleepily.
"Give Jinnie to me." you demanded and he chuckled.
"No." Hyunjin shook his head. "You come here to us." he beckoned you with his arm and you gulped, hesitating for a moment and just looking at Hyunjin sprawled on your bed in nothing but his boxers. It was truly a sight for sore eyes and you couldn't get over the fact that he has gotten even hotter than he was six years ago. You let out a sigh and laid down in his arms, your head on his chest and your ear pressed against his heart that was beating erratically.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered after you managed to relax and melt into him, telling yourself that no matter how much time has passed and what he looked like now, he was still your Hyunjin.
You stirred in your bed, the weight and warmth of Hyunjin's body was gone and for a second you thought last night was just a dream but when you opened your eyes and looked to your right, you saw a small makeshift flower bouquet placed in Jinnie's paw and a note next to it. A smile spread on your face as you rolled over on your tummy and grabbed the note.
'Good morning, beautiful. Come to my house around lunch time.'
There was little hearts drawn at the end and Hyunjin's name scribbled down. You squealed in happiness, hugging Jinnie and pressing your face into the teddy, inhaling Hyunjin's scent that stayed everywhere on your bed and made you feel crazy.
You had an extra pep in your step when you came downstairs, trying to find your grandparents so you could tell them you're planning on staying. After searching around the kitchen and living room, you finally spotted them sitting in the backyard, talking and laughing as they enjoyed a warm cup of coffee. You smiled, observing them for a moment and remembering all the times you thought about Hyunjin and you spending the rest of your life together like them and it made your heart flutter.
"Good morning." you walked over to them and they greeted you with a smile.
"Sit with us, honey." nana said, pouring you a cup of coffee and giving you some cookies.
"Slept well?" she teased you and your face started burning immediately.
"Yes." you chuckled. "Um. I have to tell you both something."
"What is it?" grandpa asked and you took a deep breath in, explaining to them how unhappy you actually were in the city, how hard it was for you and how alone you felt. You told them about the multiple times you wanted to drop everything and come back to the village but something always stopped you from throwing away everything you worked so hard for, and then you explained how you quit your job after having to compete for a higher position but the girl you were competing with was bullying you and slept with your boss, which made her get the promotion you broke your back over just with your work. That was your last straw and you just couldn't stay there anymore.
By the time you finished explaining all of it both you and your nana were crying.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before and made you think I was just visiting but I had no idea if you'd be willing to let me come back here for good." you sobbed.
"What are you talking about Y/n? Of course you can always come back here, this is your home. And we both missed you so much, right?" nana looked at your grandpa and he nodded in agreement. "That's right, we are so happy to have you here." he added and you felt the last stone lifting from your heart, relief washing over you that now everything has been clarified. You were back home and you were never leaving again.
-
Around lunch time, you were ready and buzzing, finally you were going to Hyunjin's house. As you approached it, Rina ran towards the fence, barking at you which caught Hyunjin's attention and he came out of the house, wearing an apron and a tanktop, making your mind dizzy. You were sure he was doing this on purpose to mess with you cause he knew very well how much power he had over you.
"Easy girl." he cooed at the dog, coming closer to the two of you and petting her black fur as she looked at him and sat, panting happily upon getting caressed. "This is Y/n, she's not dangerous." he stated as you walked into the yard and approached Rina cautiously.
"Well, maybe for my heart but that's a different thing." Hyunjin smirked and your cheeks reddened as you looked away from his mischievous smile. Rina barked at you but her tail was wagging as she approached you and started sniffing you before jumping on you and almost pushing you down.
"Oh my god!" you chuckled, petting the dog as she hopped around you happily, barking and running from you to Hyunjin and then back to you.
"She loves you." Hyunjin smiled as he observed the two of you.
"She's just the sweetest." you said.
"And very protective over me." Hyunjin smirked and you rolled your eyes playfully at him. "Let me show you around." he added and you nodded, Rina following behind the two of you. It was still the same house and garden but you could see how much work Hyunjin put in it. The flower garden was more than beautiful, the rest of the garden was full of different vegetables Hyunjin was growing and he even had his own lemon tree. You could see the entire house has been repainted, the windows changed and even the stable with horses was repaired. "How do you maintain all of this alone?" you wondered as Hyunjin took you through the stables where he had three horses and out towards the chicken coop.
"I work all day." Hyunjin shrugged. "Besides, Chan and Lino help me sometimes. And some of our other neighbors too. I mean I typically wake up around 5am and go to bed around 10pm, sometimes 11." he explained and you admired his work ethic and his persistence.
"That's amazing. You're so hardworking and resilient." you praised him and his cheeks got rosy. You knew how Hyunjin always enjoyed getting compliments, especially when he did something right and especially when they came from you.
"It's definitely hard sometimes and I wish I had someone here with whom I can split the work up with." he gave you a look and it was your turn to become red.
"Thank you for the flowers." you said as you neared the chickens.
"That was the least I could give you. Sorry for getting drunk at your grandparents' anniversary dinner." he chuckled and you shook your head.
"You're fine, don't worry." you waved your hand.
While you were talking, a curious chicken came closer and gave you a startle, making you jump a little and grab onto Hyunjin's arm as you shrieked. Hyunjin burst out into laughter and you frowned at him.
"It's not funny!"
"It so is. That's literally just a chicken, Y/n." Hyunjin kept chuckling.
"A chicken that is out to get me!" you shrieked again as the said chicken kept walking towards you menacingly. "Ah!" you screamed as the chicken sped up towards you and you jumped back, scaring half of the other chickens and making Rina bark. One wrong move and you slipped, falling down into the muddy soil, the pretty white dress you put on now completely ruined. Rina ran to you and barked, wagging her tail as the chicken gave up and went on her merry way like this was her plan the entire time. Hyunjin stared at you in shock before he started laughing so hard that his face became red and he doubled over, gripping his stomach. You really wanted the earth to open up this time and pull you down so far so you never embarrass yourself in front of Hyunjin again.
"Stop laughing at me." you pouted, your eyes welling up with tears as you were planted on your knees and palms.
"I'm sorry, but that was just too funny." Hyunjin came closer to you and you looked up at him, trying to look as mad as you could but the tears in your eyes softened Hyunjin up. "Come here." he cooed at you, grabbing your arms gently and helping you lift up.
"My dress is ruined." you couldn't help the tears that started sliding down your cheeks.
"Don't cry bunny, you can shower here and I'll give you something to wear, hm?" Hyunjin touched your cheek, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumb. You hiccuped and nodded and he chuckled at your cuteness, grabbing your face and leaning in to peck your lips.
He led you into the house and despite feeling embarrassed and sad that your pretty dress was ruined, you still felt shocked when you walked in. The house that was like your second home here looked completely different than it did while you were growing up here. Your wide eyes wondered everywhere, not only was it repaired and repainted, the furniture was new and rearranged differently and there was art everywhere that you presumed was probably Hyunjin's. Everything was so neat and pretty, his house seemed so warm and cozy, a place you could see yourself spending time in with him.
"What do you think?" Hyunjin chewed on his lip, looking at you cutely with wide sparkly eyes.
"Hyune, it's beautiful! I love what you did with it. Somehow, it seems more spacious and like there's more light coming in." you said and he giggled.
"Yes, I wanted to make use of natural light as much as I could." he led you upstairs to his bathroom. "Here, you can shower and I'll make some lunch for us." he added and you nodded as you kept marvelling at everything he did with the space. Hyunjin found a shirt that was oversized even on him so it would definitely be like a dress for you.
"Here." he gave you the shirt and smirked. "Need help?" he added as he motioned towards the shower.
"I think I can handle it." you giggled and Hyunjin gave you a kiss before leaving to the kitchen. You took in the state of yourself in the mirror, cursing quietly when you saw just how much mud you were covered up in. You slowly peeled off the dress and then your underwear, before stepping into the shower. You managed to wash off the mud pretty quickly, replaying the entire scene in your head and feeling more and more embarrassed the more you thought of it.
After drying off and putting your underwear back on, you grabbed Hyunjin's shirt and your gut stirred at the smell of him. You put it on, the fabric soft against your smooth skin and you melted into it, hugging yourself with a smile on your face. This was not the first time you wore his clothes and you missed the feeling of it, your mind wandering back to the nights you spent in his embrace, stealing his shirt after which would make him even more crazy for you.
You finally went downstairs, feeling a little shy as you pulled the shirt down even though Hyunjin had already seen everything before and even saw you in your underwear at the lake. When you walked into the kitchen, he was whistling to the music playing in the background while stirring at the stove. He looked up at you and his lips parted, eyes darkening instantly. "Bunny..." he let out a breath and walked closer to you. Your heart started pounding in your ears as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, his lips on yours instantly. You kissed back, gripping at him before you felt something nudging your leg. The two of you parted and saw Rina, wagging her tail happily and pushing her head into your body.
"She wants attention." you started petting her immediately. "Reminds me of someone." you teased and Hyunjin gasped, dramatically placing his hand on his chest.
"Comparing me to a dog, huh?" he shook his head with a smile as you shrugged. "You look so good in my shirt, doll." Hyunjin bit on his lip and your face burned. You thanked him sheepishly, making him chuckle before he went back to cooking and you joined him, helping him out and feeling so domestic, and like you were right where you belonged.
The lunch was delicious and the mud mishap was soon forgotten as Hyunjin gave you a full tour of the house, ending in his room where he showed you his favorite paintings and sketchbooks that were unsurprisingly full of you. You were flipping through one of them when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his body, his lips on your neck. You gasped, your hands shaking and making you drop the sketchbook on the floor as Hyunjin gently kissed your skin. "Jinnie..." you exhaled when his tongue darted out to lick at you before he sunk his teeth in. You tilted your head, completely melting against him as your entire body started burning up.
"I craved you so much." Hyunjin nipped at your shoulder and you squeezed his hands.
"Me too." you whispered before turning in his arms and grabbing his face as you smashed your lips against his. Nothing mattered but him in that moment, the two of you had a hunger that could only be satiated with each other. Your kiss was harsh and sloppy, your teeth clashing and hands grabbing everywhere but neither of you cared.
You felt the fire inside you burning up and spreading all the way to the tips of your fingers that grazed Hyunjin's skin. You needed him more than ever and being with him here made you realize that you had no idea how you managed to live all these years without him.
"Bunny, I can't... I want to worship you and take my time with you so badly, I want to kiss every inch of your skin and make love to you but I can't... I need to have you right now." he panted hard as he grabbed at your hips, leading you to the bed.
"Take me Hyunjin, please. I need you so much." you gripped his arms and Hyunjin let out a low growl before pushing you down onto the bed. It was as if he had no idea what to do first, staring at you sprawled under him for a moment before he put his hands on your thighs, squeezing the flesh.
Your legs parted, the shirt riding up and revealing the red lace panties you wore. "Damn doll, are you trying to kill me?"
"Maybe." you giggled and Hyunjin smirked at you before spreading your legs more and lowering his middle on top of yours. You gasped a little when you felt his length pressing and rubbing against you. He leaned in closer to your face, his arms caging you in.
"Can you feel what you do to me, bunny?" he moaned, rolling his hips against yours. You knew he wanted to tease you but his mind was far too gone for that. Hyunjin has waited for years for you to come back and to be in his arms, for him to taste you, feel you, kiss you, be inside you.
"Hyune... Please..." you were no better, your entire body was yearning for him, every fiber of your being screamed his name. Hyunjin couldn't wait, he leaned back and took off his shirt so you did the same, revealing that you didn't wear a bra.
"Naughty bunny." Hyunjin smirked, giving you a look and you grabbed his wrists gently, placing his palms on your chest. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered as he squeezed, thumbs swiping on your sensitive nipples. He cursed under his breath as he kept massaging your breasts and rubbing against you. You lifted your hips up to meet his, you needed to feel more of him. Your fingers hooked in his pants and you tugged so he lifted up a little to take them off. Hyunjin leaned down to kiss you, his tongue dominating yours as he slid your panties off, then his boxers before placing his hands on your thighs again and caressing them. His lips traveled down your neck to your collarbone then to your breasts, kissing and nipping at the flesh before he wrapped them against your nipple, sucking harshly as his fingertips pressed on your clit. A loud moan slipped your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
"Hyunjin." you moaned desperately, your body arching into him and he shushed you, his fingers sliding through your wet folds, separating them before he slowly pushed his finger in. It was a welcomed intrusion after not being with anyone for years, you haven't even dated after going to the city, you still felt like you belonged to Hyunjin and you thought about him every day so even the thought of letting someone else touch you was too much for you.
Hyunjin slowly pumped his finger inside you, feeling how wet you were getting before adding another finger, scissoring you open for him. He noticed you seemed deep in thought so he slowed down and leaned in to look at you.
"Is something wrong, doll?" he asked and you snapped out of your thoughts.
"Have you been with anyone since I left?" you asked in a small voice, blinking at him and Hyunjin let out a chuckle.
"No, I waited for you." he whispered, kissing you gently and you clenched around him. "You like that, bunny? Like that I'm only yours?" he bit on your lip and looked at you teasingly as he continued fingering you.
"Yes, yes Hyunjin!" you moaned when he hit that special spot inside you and his eyes darkened.
"What about you, doll? Did you let someone else touch what's only mine, hm?" he asked, fucking you faster.
"N-no. Only you, Hyunjin. I'm only yours." you moaned and he growled lowly again, getting more worked up as he wrapped his hand around his length and pumped it a few times.
"You never stopped being mine, little bunny. And I never stopped being yours." he moaned, pulling his fingers out before licking at them. Your heart was beating hard at the sight and the words that he said. It was true, you were his from the moment you first saw him until the end of time.
"Missed your taste." he moaned before grabbing his cock and pressing it against your clit. "I don't have any condoms." he added and you moaned as he ran his hard tip on your folds.
"T-that was never a problem with us." you bit on your lip and Hyunjin moaned as he started slowly pushing inside you, filling you up perfectly and stretching you out just for him. You whimpered, your legs opening more as you welcomed him inside you, where he belonged. Hyunjin took a moment to gather himself when he bottomed out, his eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed around him.
"God, bunny. I missed this pussy so much." you moaned at the dirty way he spoke, clenching even harder around him. "I won't last long."
You whimpered as he started moving, his muscles contracting with each movement as his arms caged you. You couldn't stop admiring him on top of you; the buzzcut worked so well with the new, more manly look, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes dark as he bit on his lip, his cheeks flushed and a thin sheen of sweat forming on his skin, the veins portruding. He looked so beautiful like that, all lost in you as he moaned quietly. Your hands came up to touch the back of his neck and his shoulders, so smooth and firm and Hyunjin gripped your hips.
"Fuck, I can't!" he whined loudly before he started snapping his hips into you. Both of you were a moaning, desperate mess, missing each other for so long. Hyunjin's hands had a bruising grip on your hips, your nails dug into his flesh as you wrapped your legs around him and pressed your heels into his ass, making him go deeper. He moaned loudly, fucking you harder, his cock splitting you apart deliciously.
"I'm g-gonna cum!" he whined almost as if he was disappointed in himself for finishing so quickly but you couldn't really blame him because you were on the verge yourself.
"Cum inside me, Jinnie!" you moaned and his eyes went wide for a moment before he gripped you harder.
"Are you sure?" he panted and you nodded quickly, your nails leaving red angry marks on his skin.
"Yes please Hyune, I need to feel you." you moaned and he whimpered, fucking you harder and chasing his high and your legs started trembling around him. He knew you were close by your moans and the way your body reacted, the way your pussy clenched around him so hard like you wanted him inside you forever.
"Let go for me, doll." he encouraged you and you moaned, the coil snapping as you came around him, making him even more wet.
Hyunjin cursed and moaned loudly, his hips stuttering before he exploded, filling you up with his warm cum and riding his high as you held onto him. He plopped down on top of you as both of you tried to catch your breath.
"Y/n. My bunny, my love." Hyunjin smiled, kissing you gently as you held each other.
"Jinnie. I love you so much." you whispered against his lips and felt him twitch inside you.
"I love you more than anything, doll." he said before kissing you again, his tongue slowly massaging yours and making your body burn all over again. His hands were on your breasts, massaging and squeezing, gently pinching and pulling on your nipples as he kept stealing your breath. You felt him slowly becoming harder inside you and you clenched, your pussy sore but welcoming. You touched his back and caressed his head and neck, making him whimper against you. It didn't take long for him to become fully hard again.
"I'm gonna make love to you." he whispered, kissing your lips again then grabbing your hand and kissing it before pinning it down on the bed, next to your head, his other hand on your waist.
"Hyunjin." you moaned out his name as he started to slowly move inside you, the drag of his cock against your walls was driving you crazy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you let yourself melt into the moment, the space filling up with sounds of your bodies and your moans as you both got lost in loving each other. Your lips brushed against his jaw and neck, kissing him and gently licking at his skin, the droplets of sweat that were sliding down his neck. He threw his head back when you sunk your teeth into his skin, marking him as yours. Hyunjin's hips stuttered and he fucked you a little harder and deeper but still slowly.
Your eyes fluttered open and met with his, full of love and lust.
"I wanna be like this with you forever." he moaned and you squeezed him with your legs, your nails digging into his shoulders again.
"Me too, Hyune, I wanna be with you forever." you breathed out.
He sped up a little, his hands roaming all over your body, his sweat dripping down onto your skin, making everything hot and wet.
"Ah!" you whimpered when he hit the spot. "You feel perfect inside me."
Hyunjin groaned at the praise, his hips snapping into yours harder as his fingers found your sensitive clit, moving in circles and trying to bring you to your high. His lips were on your skin again, kissing, licking and nipping before he grabbed your breast with his free hand and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking hard and making your body tremble against him. The fact that you were even more wet and slippery than before because he had already came inside you drove you insane and you snapped, cumming around him and squeezing him again. Hyunjin's eyes rolled back and all he could do was moan your name as he sped up, your hips and pussy burning at the overstimulation and movement before he released inside you, filling you up again.
"Fuck." this time he pulled out of you, watching as his cum oozed out of your pussy. "Wow." he gasped a little, reaching out to touch your folds and you whimpered.
"Are you- are you on the pill?" Hyunjin asked as he retracted his hand and you started laughing when you realized he hadn't even asked before and that you didn't even think about it.
"No, I wasn't sleeping with anyone so I didn't need them." you said and Hyunjin's face went red.
"It's okay." you beckoned him closer with your hand and he crawled to you instanly, laying on top of you and propping himself up with his elbows as he looked at you softly, caressing your head and playing with your hair. "We talked about having kids..."
Hyunjin let out a chuckle before pecking your lips.
"We did but now that you're back I wanted to enjoy you just a little more. Have you all to myself, my little bunny. And I know it might be cliche but I wanted us to get married first." he said and your heart fluttered.
"You never stopped thinking about that?" you asked, caressing his back.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to. Did you?"
"I always thought that if I hadn't left we would've already been married and had at least one baby." you confessed and Hyunjin's body trembled as he pressed himself harder against you.
"There's nothing more I want than to have everything with you, my love." he said, kissing you gently and lovingly.
"Me too." you gasped for air between kisses.
"Are you ready for round three then?" he smirked and you felt his length twitching against your thigh.
"Oh wow." you laughed and Hyunjin chuckled.
"What can I say, I missed you." he kissed your jaw again. "I just wanna be inside you."
"Please Hyunjin." you whimpered, feeling aroused for him easily.
"Don't worry bunny, I got you. All mine tonight." he moaned, pushing into your sore pussy but it felt so good to you. "Gotta make sure it sticks." Hyunjin added with a smirk and you gasped, your eyes rolling back as he filled you up.
You spent almost the entire night in each other's embrace, making love or just cuddling and talking, but both of you felt so insatiable that you just couldn't stop until early morning hours.
"This is about the time I usually wake up." Hyunjin said as he blinked sleepily, rubbing his cheek against your breast as you held him in your arms. You looked out at the dark sky, giggling a little.
"We should get some sleep." you said and Hyunjin whined, squeezing your other breast with his hand.
"I can't... I need to feed the horses... And take Rina out for a walk and..." his voice got more and more quiet before you realized he was fast asleep. A smile spread on your lips as you relaxed and let yourself fall asleep too.
You woke up a few hours later, the sun blazing through the curtains and you groaned, covering your face. Your entire body was sore, last night you had used some muscles that were dormant for years, but the most sore place was between your legs. When you remembered everything you did with Hyunjin last night and how many times he had moaned into your ear about fucking a baby into you, your mind went hazy and you felt that wave of hotness rise inside you.
You noticed you were alone in the bed, tangled in his sheets and the smell of him and you rolled over to his side after noticing another little bouquet of flowers. You smiled to yourself and willed yourself to get up and take a shower even though your legs were in pain too.
By the time you came down, Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen but you found some coffee and toast, deciding to make yourself some breakfast. You sat at the counter and ate while listening to some music. Hyunjin suddenly walked in from the back door.
"Oh bunny! Good morning." he smirked as he came closer to you and you could see the sweat on his body glistening, making you feel aroused instantly at the sight and smell of him.
"Morning." your voice came out breathy as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed you.
"I was just working out back in the shed." he started and Rina ran in barking and jumping at you happily. You chuckled and cooed at her as you started petting her head. "She helped out." Hyunjin added and you giggled.
"I'm sure she did."
"Would you like to go horse riding with me today?" he asked and you let out a laugh.
"I mean, I'd love to but you tired me out last night." you said sheepishly and he cackled, making you smack his arm a few times which made Rina bark.
"Careful, you can't hit me in front of Rina." he had a smug smile on his face and you rolled your eyes, shoving him away playfully. "Come on, we used to go all the time. I missed doing everything with you, doll."
"Fine, but I'm going home first to change and say hello to my grandparents." you pointed your finger at him and he grabbed your wrist, gently kissing your fingertip before he pressed your hand on his chest.
"Come back to me soon, doll."
-
It didn't take long for you to get ready and skip back to Hyunjin's house, especially after missing him for so many years; you felt like you needed to make up for all the lost time. Hyunjin was waiting for you in the stable, preparing the horses for the ride. As soon as you walked in, he smiled at you, waving at you to come closer. Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes, you were dressed and ready for the activity you were going to share with him this afternoon.
"God, you look so cute my bunny." he put his hands behind his back and leaned in to kiss you, making you giggle against his lips.
"You're cute." you poked his cheek and he chuckled.
"I am?" he gave you a cute face, making his dimples visible as he smiled and his eyes disappeared, turning into little slits. For emphasis he put his palms around his face as if he was presenting his cuteness to you and you could not believe that this was the same man who had you shaking under him last night.
"The cutest." you giggled and he seemed satisfied with the answer, giving you another sweet kiss.
"So, this beauty over here is Aurora." Hyunjin took your hand in his and walked closer to the horse. It let out a snorting sound, making you jolt a little and Hyunjin chuckled.
"Don't tell me you forgot how to ride." he smirked at you with a pointed look and you smacked his arm as he giggled, knowing you would react like that. Your cheeks went red despite last night and despite everything else you shared with him.
"You better be quiet." you threatened him and he wiggled his eyebrows at you.
"You weren't saying that last night."
"Hyunjin. Please. The horses don't need to listen to this." you whispered the last sentence, giving Aurora a few gentle pets.
Hyunjin laughed before nodding. "Alright, well she is yours for today. And I'm taking Midnight." he pointed to a black horse and you nodded, feeling excited because you missed things like this in the city, spending time in nature even though insects frightened you.
The two of you made your way out with your horses, Hyunjin helping you get up on Aurora and then patting your butt affectionately as you sat down. Your cheeks became rosy as he smirked at you and climbed up on Midnight. He looked so hot in that moment that you were already getting worked up despite still being sore.
You made your way towards the fields, the sun shining on you as you rode your horses and enjoyed the fresh air and the breeze. Everything that was bothering you before you came here was left in the dust your horses lifted as they ran, the past was put behind you and you could clearly see the path ahead.
The two of you made it to one of the pretty fields, letting the horses rest as you tied them aside and Hyunjin brought a blanket for the two of you to sit on. Quietly, you enjoyed the beautiful day together as you closed your eyes and let the sun's warmth kiss you while Hyunjin kept his eyes fixed on you.
"I forgot just how peaceful it is here." you sighed before looking at Hyunjin.
"But you spent most of your life here, more than in the city. You know this place like the back of your hand." his head tilted and you shrugged.
"Maybe it didn't take long for me to get used to the city."
"Then it won't be long for you to get used to being back here." he said and bit on his lip. "Come here bunny." he tapped his thigh and you chuckled, your face becoming red. "Come sit in my lap, I need you close to me." Hyunjin added and you shook your head lightly before coming closer to him and sitting in his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist as he leaned in and kissed you sweetly, before gently swiping his tongue on your lower lip. You parted your lips and he kissed you sensually, like he was trying to explore every part of you and remember your taste forever.
Hyunjin leaned back suddenly and gave you a serious look as he held your hips.
"Y/n, you really are the most important person in my life. You are my best friend and my only lover. And I want you to stay here with me forever and for us to build a life together but only if you want that. I don't want you to feel like I forced you to be here in the village and made you throw away your uni degree and the career you worked so hard for. I need to know that you are absolutely sure you want this, cause I don't want you to resent me one day." Hyunjin exhaled shakily and you smiled, grabbing his face and smushing his cute cheeks.
"You're the most important person in my life too. And even without knowing you still loved me and wanted to be with me I came back here with the plan to stay. There is nothing for me there, that career was a disappointment, almost a waste of time that I could've been spending here with you. Besides, I am still young and there is time to change careers. This is my decision to stay here and if I have you too, then that's just added happiness. I would never resent you Hyunjin, because I want to build a life with you too, I want us to grow old together like my grandparents. I always imagined us like that."
"Oh bunny, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Hyunjin gave you the sweetest smile before crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and full of love, all bursting around the two of you. He kissed your neck before flipping you over and you gasped under him.
"Beloved, it's the middle of the day, other people come here. A-and the horses are right there." you nodded towards the animals who seemed interested only in the grass.
"Doll, let me just have a taste of you, please?" Hyunjin rubbed your hips, giving you the cutest pout and puppy eyes and you were weak for him. It never took too long for you to lose your panties around him which was what happened as soon as you said yes. He took off your pants and underwear, immediately diving in between your legs as he held them open, gripping at your thighs.
"My sweet bunny." Hyunjin kissed and nipped on your thighs, leaving bite marks in his wake all the way up to your core.
"Mm." he moaned the moment his plump lips touched your folds. "Baby." he whined and flatened his tongue against you, giving you a few languid licks, enjoying the taste of you before the tip of his tongue started flicking your clit. You whimpered quietly as your legs trembled, still aware that you were outside and anyone could see you.
Hyunjin however, didn't care. He was moaning into your pussy desperately as soon as he pushed his tongue in, eating you out like you were the sweetest treat ever. His nose brushed against your clit perfectly as he moved and you were still so sensitive from last night so it didn't take long for you to release your essence all over his lips and tongue as you gripped onto the blanket.
"Bunny, you taste so sweet." he whined, licking around his lips. You looked around, chuckling and quickly pulling your pants up, cringing a little at the wetness.
"Let me make you feel good too, Jinnie." you were now closer to him, your hands on his thighs.
"You don't have to do it right now, we can go back to my house and-"
"Hyune... You can't ride back with this." you smirked, cupping his bulge through his pants and he whined instanly, lifting up into your hand and grinding against it.
"Yeah, you're right." Hyunjin moaned as you kissed his jaw and neck while working to unbutton his pants and slide them down with his boxers, at least enough to pull his cock out. You moaned at the sight of him and you were so eager to have him in your mouth again after not tasting him for so long. You leaned down, gathering spit before you spit on his cock and made him gasp, lifting his hips up to you again. You gave him a few pumps as you smirked at him and Hyunjin was already falling apart. He was equally as weak for you as you were for him.
You swirled your tongue around his head, dipping it into his slit and he shook against you, his hips lifting up and his hand tangling in your hair.
"More, please more bunny." he begged desperately and you moaned around him as you slid down, taking more of his length in.
"Just like that baby, keep going." he encouraged you as you tried to relax your throat and breathe through your nose. Hyunjin whimpered when you gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head up and down. He gripped your hair, his moans becoming high pitched so you looked up and almost came in your panties at the sight. He was completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him, his head thrown back, his neck on full display with his Adam's apple bobbing up and down every time he gulped and his veins visible. Your eyes fluttered as you moaned around him and fondled his balls with your other hand, making his hips jerk up into you which made you gag a little.
"Fuck. Taking me so well, bunny." he growled, fucking up into you slowly as he gripped your hair harder. "G-gonna cum."
"Mm." you moaned, massaging his balls and sucking him like your life depended on it as he kept fucking up into you.
"Ah! Love seeing those pretty lips around me!" Hyunjin whined loudly, snapping his hips a little harder against you before you felt him twitch and release inside you. You swallowed every last drop he gave you, overstimulating him until he was almost pushing you away.
"Fuck, bunny. You're gonna be the death of me." he said as you lifted up and wiped your lips.
"That good, hm?" you teased him with a smirk and he smirked back at you as he got dressed.
"Well, you seem to love my cum so I'm just giving you what you love, you know, thinking of your happiness." he teased and you smacked his arm, making him laugh because he loved provoking you.
"Shut up." you muttered in embarrassment and he giggled before pouting at you and coming closer to you. He gently took your chin in his hand and made you look at him.
"I love you." he said.
"I love you too." you smiled and kissed him, tasting your essence on his tongue.
"Wanna ride a little more then go back to my house?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.
"I'd love to."
-
Currently, you were sitting in Hyunjin's very big bath, waiting for him to join you as you soaped up your arms with the bubbles, playing around with them.
"Here I am!" he ran in, quickly closing the door behind him. "Had to feed Rina plus she felt neglected and deprived of my love." he added, stripping his clothes and throwing them in the hamper haphazardly.
"You trying to make me feel guilty?" you asked, blowing a bubble at him and he giggled.
"No doll, you know you're always my number one." he smirked, throwing his underwear aside and you looked away in embarrassment.
He chuckled at you and got in, sitting between your legs and you squealed as he made the water splash around you.
"Will you help me wash my back?" he looked at you sideways with a little pout and you chuckled.
"Of course, beloved." you smiled as you took a clean cloth and made it wet before you started gently washing his back. Hyunjin closed his eyes and let out a long sigh of relaxation. You enjoyed the quiet moment, gently rubbing his skin before gliding over it with your other hand, loving the feeling of his wet and soft skin against yours. You leaned in and kissed his shoulders, your breasts pressing against him and nipples grazing him. Hyunjin let out a shaky breath as you wrapped your arms around him and kept kissing his upper back and the back of his neck, catching the droplets of water with your lips.
"I'm so happy." he said and you smiled against him as he caressed your hands. "I was lonely without you, my bunny. I drowned that in work but in moments like this, when it's quiet, and especially late at night I imagined you next to me, wished you were here. And now you are."
"I'm sorry, Jinnie. I'll never leave you again." you said, brushing your lips against his neck.
"I know." he shivered and then leaned back into you as you held him and caressed his chest and stomach, your hand coming in contact with his cock that was hard again.
"Jinnie." you giggled in delight.
"I can't help it when you're touching me." he whined and you kept giggling as you wrapped your hand around him and gave him a few teasing tugs before you released him completely, making him groan.
"Love, you promised we'd go stargazing tonight." you teased.
"The stars will be there tomorrow." he smirked, turning around in the bath and making the water splash around again.
"So will we." you chuckled, running your finger on his defined jaw.
"Mm." he smirked, eyes already hooded as he leaned in and captured your lips in his. You gave in instantly, craving him as much as he craved you.
"I want to go stargazing." you said when the two of you parted for air and Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head.
"Whatever my bunny wants. Give me a few moments to try and calm down, hm?" he said, kissing your jaw before he got up, getting out of the bath and making his way to the shower. "Join me." he reached his hand towards you and you grabbed it, getting out of the bath with his help.
The moment you shared in the shower was sweet and gentle as you helped each other wash off, playing around with the water.
"So, you like how I did the house?" Hyunjin asked as you dried off.
"I love it so much. It's artsy but cozy and warm. It still has that vintage vibe, you just made it better." you told him and he blushed, smiling cutely at you.
"I decorated it with the thought of you." he confessed, suddenly looking shy and reminding you of that little boy that almost hid behind his mother the first time he laid eyes on you.
"Hyunjin." your eyes watered instantly and you started crying.
"Bunny, don't cry." Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, shushing you and pulling you into his chest as he caressed your head.
"I'm sorry." you whimpered and he chuckled at your cute pouty face as he looked down at you.
"Move in with me. There's no need to wait." he kissed your head and you squeezed him tighter.
"Packing tomorrow." you looked up at him with a smile and he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you as he wiped your tears away.
-
It was a beautiful, clear and quiet night, just what you needed for one of your favorite activities. Stargazing was a little ritual you did together even before you started dating, when you were just friends. You'd lay near your tree and look up at the stars wondering what's in store for you and Hyunjin, and he'd be nervously gathering courage to confess to you and kiss you only to back out every time you smiled at him.
After becoming a couple, you'd spend warm evenings loving each other under the blanket of stars, hidden by the grass and flowers around you. You'd look up at the stars then and thank them.
Hyunjin brought a blanket this time like always and you laid next to each other, your bare arms touching.
"Jinnie, can I ask you something?" you turned to look at him.
"Anything." he met your eyes.
"I noticed this when I got here the first day but why did you carve only your name in the tree, under ours?"
His eyes softened before he sat up and looked at the tree.
"For when you come back, so you can add your name and we can make a new start together." he smiled and your eyes watered.
"Jinnie." you whined, sitting up and resting your forehead on his shoulder. "You're too sweet."
"Here." he gave you his pocket knife and motioned at the tree. "You can add your name now."
Hyunjin helped you out and the two of you admired your work, a new carving of your names signifying a new phase of your relationship, where both of you have grown and matured. You turned towars him, grabbing his face and smashing your lips into his as you kissed him passionately. Hyunjin returned the kiss enthusiastically, pulling you in his lap. Your hips started grinding against him instantly and he smirked into the kiss.
"Is my bunny needy for me?" Hyunjin leaned back to look at you, caressing your face and putting your hair behind your ear.
"Mm, always." you moaned quietly as his other hand grabbed at your ass, squeezing and giving you a light smack.
Hyunjin chuckled at the state of you, already unraveling and he hasn't even done anything. You bit on your lip and gripped his shoulders as you started dragging your core against his. Hyunjin's head fell back as he gripped your hips and helped you move against him, pressing you down and making you feel his growing bulge.
"What you do to me, doll." he almost growled, gripping you harder and moving his hips up into yours.
"Hyunjin." you moaned his name, your hands sliding down his chest to his abs and then to the button on his jeans as you worked to open it. He smirked into the kiss again, letting you struggle for a moment before he leaned away from your lips and helped you take off his pants. His hands slid under your dress, up until he touched your panties.
"So wet, my bunny." he looked at you lustfully, his lips parting as he touched you clit and played with it, sliding his fingers down to your folds and feeling the wetness even through the fabric.
"I need you." you whined and he chuckled.
"I need you too, bunny." he whispered and you stood up to slide your panties off as Hyunjin watched you with hazy eyes. He slid his pants and underwear down, pulling you down into his lap again. Your wet pussy pressed against his hard cock and both of you moaned as you grinded on him, getting him wet with your juices.
"Ah, doll!" Hyunjin whined, pushing his hips up into you and you lifted just a little to grab his cock and push it inside you. He groaned as you sat down on him slowly, feeling every inch of him stretching your still sore pussy.
"You okay, bunny?" Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your waist as you let out a hiss.
"Y-yes, perfect." you whimpered, gripping at his shoulders as you started circling your hips on top of him. "Oh my god." you groaned, feeling his tip brushing against something delicious deep inside you.
"Good, baby?" Hyunjin smirked, holding your hips but you knew he was close to losing control.
"Mm yes." you shut your eyes tightly as you started to bounce on him slowly and Hyunjin let out a loud moan.
"Ah, bunny! You feel so good. So perfect for me. I wanna stay inside you forever."
You clenched hard at his words, fucking on his length faster, your hips slapping against his. Hyunjin's hand gripped your dress and pushed it up before he grabbed your ass, giving it a few smacks and making you whimper and squeeze around his cock again.
"Please, Hyune, I need more, please!" you whimpered, fucking on him as hard as you could even though your thighs started burning. Hyunjin looked at you, your flushed face and your tits bouncing with your movement, his cock disappearing completely inside you. You were driving him insane.
"You want some help bunny?" he asked, gripping your hips.
"Yes, please!" you whined and Hyunjin smirked before he started snapping his hips up into you.
Both of you were a desperate mess of moans and curses, fucking into each other as if you hadn't been together all night yesterday.
"Gonna get you pregnant, my bunny. Want you to be mine forever." Hyunjin growled as you fell apart on top of him, exploding all over his cock.
"Please, Hyune, want to have your baby." you mumbled, your entire body shaking on top of him and Hyunjin growled, his eyes rolling back as he came, ropes of warm cum filling you up, your pussy milking him dry.
You held each other for a moment, trying to gather your senses as you breathed hard. Hyunjin leaned back and gave you a cute smile.
"I mean it, you know. I really want a little one running around our house. A baby that we made out of love." Hyunjin said, holding your face in his palms.
"Me too, I want it so much." your voice was shaky as you leaned in and kissed him, not missing the detail where he called his house yours.
"After last night and today it would be a surprise if you weren't already pregnant." he smiled, brushing his lips against yours.
You chuckled as your face burned. "I hope so."
Hyunjin smiled, kissing you until you became breathless. The two of you cleaned up and got dressed, lying down in each other's arms so you could actually do what you came to do here - watch the stars.
Once again, you thanked them for leading you back to your Hyunjin.
Six months later
You were drinking your morning tea, staring out the window as your free hand landed on your tummy and you let out a sigh of happiness. Hyunjin came from upstairs, all fresh from a shower and noticed you smiling to yourself, the sun illuminating your features.
"How are my girls?" Hyunjin asked as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands on your baby bump, caressing you gently as he kissed you neck and inhaled your sweet scent.
"Good actually. The tea is helping with nausea." you turned your head a little to look at his face and his eyes were filled with so much love and happiness that it made you shiver, your heart fluttering.
"What?" you chuckled as he kept looking at you with a big smile on his face.
"Have I told you how breathtaking you are, my doll?" he exhaled, nuzzling into you.
"Only every day." you giggled.
"And I will continue doing so for the rest of my life." Hyunjin kissed your cheek and you turned in his arms to give him a proper kiss, enjoying the feeling of his plump lips against yours. Your hands flew to his hair that was now black and growing out and you ran your fingers through the soft tufts.
"I have something for you." he said when the two of you broke apart.
"What is it?" you tilted your head and Hyunjin rounded the couch where Rina was cuddled up, making her raise her head and look at him. He stood in front of the stereo and pressed a few buttons before the familiar melody of Photograph started playing.
"Hyun..." your eyes watered and he skipped towards you, reaching his hand to you. You grabbed it and he pulled you into him, dancing with you, softly swaying you side to side.
"This has always been our song. The one we danced to at prom too. And now we can have our first dance at our wedding to this song as well."
"H-Hyunjin." your lips trembled as happy tears spilled from your eyes.
"I wanted to wait for a perfect moment, have this elaborate dinner and speech but I think this is the perfect moment. You and me in our house with our baby on the way and Rina with us. So I have something to ask you, bunny." Hyunjin got on one knee in front of you, taking out a little box from the pocket of his sweats and opening it up to reveal a beatiful ring.
You gasped, your heart beating fast as more tears spilled from your eyes. You knew he was going to propose to you but nothing prepared you for the tornado of feelings that were swirling inside you.
"Y/n, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
"Yes!" you yelled almost before he ended the sentence and he chuckled happily, sliding the ring on your finger.
"I love you so much, Jinnie." you cried as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you.
"I love you more than anything, my little bunny." he kissed you, the tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks too.
"I promised you forever, didn't I?"
And there was no other way you wanted to spend forever than to be by Hyunjin's side.
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