-> You don't like Han Jisung's girlfriend. He needs a new one.
nerd!jisung x fem!reader
strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, hurt / comfort, college!au, suggestive
warnings: reader has low self worth and a poor self image hidden behind shamelessness, infidelity, cursing, partial nudity, kissing, alcohol, suggestive comments and sexual themes, reader is an unreliable narrator, tba...
-> You don't like Han Jisung's girlfriend. He needs a new one.
nerd!jisung x fem!reader
strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, hurt / comfort, college!au, suggestive
3.2K
warnings: cursing, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of cheating, reader is an unreliable narrator
inspired by Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne
series mlist
-------------------------------------------------
The campus diner is loud in a comforting sort of way. Week old grease popping behind the counter, retro music humming through blown-out speakers, students half-asleep and half-high on milkshakes and fries.
Memories of this place from freshman year flood your mind the moment you step inside, back when the campus still felt exciting and full of possibility. Even the questionable food and multiple health code violations were somehow charming.
You used to come here alone all the time, before your reputation. Studying felt less miserable when you had a greasy snack and the option to periodically pass out in one of the most ridiculously uncomfortable diner booths on planet earth.
Back then, you’d spread your notes across the table and stay for hours, tucked into the corner with headphones on and a milkshake sweating beside your textbooks. It felt peaceful.
Until that peace turned into loneliness. And you stopped coming so often.
But you’re not alone anymore.
Jisung sits across from you now, hoodie sleeves pushed up enough to expose his forearms as he casually steals one of your fries. You watch him drag it through your dipping sauce like it naturally belongs to both of you, completely unbothered (or clueless) by the intimacy of it.
And maybe that’s what gets you the most. Because a week ago, Han Jisung was just some random guy sitting alone at a party next to a drink he wasn’t even drinking.
And now somehow the two of you have slipped into this strange comfortability that usually takes months to build, stuck in this weird limbo where it feels normal for him to eat off your plate, but not to ask for his number.
“You know,” Jisung says around a mouthful of stolen fries, “this is probably the weirdest origin story I’ve ever experienced.”
“Origin story?” you raise a brow. “That’s what we’re calling it?”
“Mhm.”
“Is that nerd language for friendship?”
“Pretty much.”
“So, we're friends?”
“I mean,” he replies slowly, “Do you want to be?”
Oh, hell to the no. The last thing you want is to be shoved into the friendzone with Han Jisung. If you’re going to end up in anything involving Jisung, you’d strongly prefer it be his bedsheets.
“Sure,” you say sweetly instead. “I’d like that.”
Even though you lied, the way his face brightens feels dangerously rewarding.
You watch, deeply distracted, as he takes a bite of his burger before swiping his thumb through the ketchup at the corner of his mouth and absentmindedly licking it clean. Something about watching him eat is oddly satisfying.
His cheeks are three times their normal size when he talks with food in his mouth, soft and round in a way that should not be as cute as it is on a grown ass man. It gives him this unfairly adorable quality that completely clashes with the fact that you’ve spent at least half the week imagining him in morally questionable scenarios.
“Can you believe that a week ago you were trying to seduce me in a hallway?” he continues, pausing to chew only after speaking. “What an introduction.”
Even more concerning, you’re starting to realize Jisung never seems to finish chewing what’s already stored in his cheeks before immediately putting more food in his mouth.
The man is going to choke, and surprisingly, it will have nothing to do with your hand around his neck.
“Oh my god,” you groan, dropping your forehead dramatically into your palm. “Are you ever gonna let that go?”
“I’m just saying,” he swallows, “most people start conversations by asking about my major or hobbies, not putting their hand on my thigh.”
“In my defense,” you point at him with a fry, “you looked easy.”
“Easy?”
“You were way too innocent to be at that party, what was I supposed to do?”
“Not try to corrupt me?”
“Okay, before we start judging, I would just like it to be noted that the second I found out you had a girlfriend, I backed off.”
Jisung gives you a look over the edge of his glasses before pushing them back up his nose. “Backed off?”
“Yes.”
“You stalked us for a week.”
“That was investigative journalism!”
He laughs again, warm and bright enough that a couple people glance over. “Oh, right. My bad.”
“Seriously,” you reply, trying to hide your smile behind your drink before it betrays how much his laugh affects you. “I could’ve been a terrible person about it, but I wasn’t.”
“You bought a — well actually, I don't know if I can even call it a disguise.”
“Okay first, I didn't buy anything. I had that trenchcoat. Second, my outfit choices are unrelated to my moral integrity.”
“The trench coat was an insane move.”
“It was fashion.”
“It was seventy-eight degrees outside.”
"You know what?" A giggle slips free before you can catch it. So much for maintaining the bit. You quickly pull yourself together, adopting your most serious expression. "You're being really judgmental for a guy who plays League of Legends behind his girlfriend's back."
He gasps softly, a hand gripping his shirt like you’ve wounded him. “Low blow.”
“Be grateful I’m keeping your secret, nerd.”
“We're friends now,” he points out. “You have to.”
“So the reason you wanted to be friends wasn't because you like me? You just didn't want me to tattle on you?” A dramatic hand lands across your heart, little sniffles and fake sobs between your words. “I'm hurt.”
Jisung shakes his head, still smiling to himself as he reaches for another fry off your plate. “Nah, of course I like you.”
Holy shit, get it together. He didn't mean it like that.
His bangs keep falling in front of his eyes every time he laughs, and you have to physically stop yourself from reaching across the table to fix them. (Which is ridiculous behavior. Deeply embarrassing, honestly.)
It doesn't take long. The two of you dissolve into laughter again and again, eventually drawing attention from the handful of other students scattered through the diner. But you couldn't care less.
Jisung’s shoulders shake when he laughs hard. His head falls back against the booth and his arm lands over his stomach. Every so often he smacks the seat beside him or his own thigh, only to immediately wince afterward and grab his wrist dramatically.
Shit, you really like this.
You like having a shared history with him. Inside jokes only the two of you fully understand. They make you feel close to him in a way that’s probably not very smart.
Perhaps you should be embarrassed about how much you're enjoying spending time with someone else's boyfriend. But instead, it just makes your heart ache.
Truthfully, you feel a little guilty about how happy you are that he's not where he was originally supposed to be – with his girlfriend.
But rather, he’s here. Stealing your fries and laughing at your jokes like he genuinely enjoys being around you.
And selfishly, you want to keep him here for as long as possible.
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
“For what?”
You give a small, nonchalant shrug. “I needed to laugh, I guess.”
Goddamn it, there he goes again. You didn't realize a smile could look like that. Small at first before it spreads fully across his face like he just can’t help it. As if you're the charming one here.
Those gorgeous boba eyes practically disappear into crescents, rosy cheeks pushing up high behind his glasses. And the way his smile shows a little bit of his top gums!? Holy fuck, he's adorable. Like a proud kid who just got told he did something right for once.
Your gaze lingers on him for too long. How long? You don't know. Long enough that you catch yourself smiling too, simply because he is.
The realization hits you like a slap to the back of the head. Oh, you are so down catastrophically bad.
You clear your throat quickly and look down at your basket of fries instead, suddenly very interested in the three lonely fries left at the bottom.
“You know,” you say after a while, nudging fries around in circles, “most people would’ve asked why I was crying by now.”
Jisung tilts his head curiously, eyes dipping low to catch your downcast gaze. “Do you want me to ask why you were crying?”
You shrug one shoulder, not really nodding but definitely not shaking your head. “I don’t know. It's whatever. Just saying.”
And that’s the truth. You’re not even sure why you brought it up. Normally, if people ask personal questions, you dodge them with inappropriate humor or flirt your way out of it until the conversation moves on. Vulnerability has never really been your thing.
But Jisung just sits there quietly. No pressure. No pushing. He studies you, gaze softening as he takes in the way you’re nibbling absentmindedly at the corner of a fry instead of eating it properly. The way your shoulders keep tightening every few seconds like you’re bracing for some kind of impact.
Then, very gently, he asks, “Why were you crying, ___?"
A small breath escapes your lips, a hesitation some might say. But then you decide there’s no point in avoiding honesty when Jisung has never given you any reason to.
“I ran into my ex.”
“Yikes.”
“And he’s still the same jerk I left three months ago.”
“Why’d you two break up?”
“Because it felt like I only mattered to him when he wanted something from me,” you admit quietly. “And then I found out he cheated.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.” You let out a small laugh even though there's nothing funny about it. “But apparently I wasn’t allowed to be upset.”
“What do you mean?”
You shrug, even though the motion feels stiff. “When I confronted him, he basically said it was my fault. Said I treat sex too casually, and I let guys use me, so I have no right to get mad when he did the same thing."
The words leave a sour taste in your mouth all over again, as if tasting them for the first time.
“Jerk,” you mutter under your breath, blinking quickly as you look away.
Jisung goes quiet after that. Not awkwardly. Not dismissively. He just lets the silence settle for a moment when he notices your eyes starting to gloss over again.
“Is it okay if I say something?” he finally asks.
You nod. “Please.”
Jisung adjusts his glasses before continuing, quieter this time. “Honestly? When you first sat down next to me at that party, I felt uncomfortable and really nervous.”
Okay, ouch. But before embarrassment can fully crawl up your spine, he quickly adds, “Not because I thought you were bad or annoying or anything. I just…I didn’t really know what to do with that version of you.”
Your gaze lands on his only to find those precious boba eyes sparkling back at you.
“But the more we talked that night, the more I started seeing the real you underneath all that hypersexual facade.” His voice softens, immediately softening the knot in your chest as well. “The way you joked. The way you talked. The way you flirted with me and then pretended to get upset when I turned you down–”
“Not pretending, but go on."
“--that version of you? The real one. I actually liked her. A lot.”
An unstoppable heat creeps up your neck.
Is it just you or did the diner suddenly get way too warm to be sitting inside? The air goes thick, and you can't seem to get enough oxygen breathing through your nose, so your lips part and you take in a deep, slow breath.
“That’s the person I actually wanted to keep talking to after the party," he admits. “That’s the person I want to be friends with.”
Right about now is typically when you would fire off some snarky, sarcastic comeback to leave him flustered and fumbling.
But nothing comes out. Your throat suddenly feels too tight for sarcasm.
Well, shit.
How did he say all that so simply? As if your most heavily guarded insecurity was so obvious to him? What, does he have x-ray vision or something? Fuck, you weren't ready for that. And the longer you let his words hang in the air, the more you realize just how absolutely insane what he just said is.
Guys are not supposed to make you nervous! That’s never how this works. You make guys nervous. You’re the one who leans in first. The one who flirts first. The one who leaves boys red-faced and fumbling over their own name.
But right now?
Looking into Jisung’s eyes is making your stomach twist and your nerves tingle. And for maybe the first time in years, you feel shy. Legitimately shy.
“Okay, hold on,” you blurt out, waving a hand through the air to cut the scene.
Jisung watches you for another second before the corner of his mouth lifts into something softer. “What?”
“Really? Are you serious right now? You're just going to say that while looking at me like that?”
His gaze goes right and left and then comes back to you. “Looking at you like what?”
Your face lands in your hands. “Oh my god, it's so stressful.”
“What is?”
“You! And your relationship status.”
He just stares at you. Somehow this man is both the most intuitive and yet oblivious person you've ever met. In a matter of minutes, he's able to make you cry, stop your crying, make you blush, and make you want to punch a cement wall.
But is he going to take responsibility for all this?
Don't count on it.
No, instead he's just going to sit there with his head tilted and his bangs gently falling in front of his eyes. Fuck, you just want to kiss his stupid, pouty lips until they're swollen and he's breathless underneath you in the corner booth.
“I don't get it,” he replies slowly, brows knitting together cutely.
“Okay,” you start by sitting forward and placing your hands on the table, a deep breath to prepare yourself. “Look, I’m aware you don’t want me commenting on your girlfriend."
Jisung immediately groans under his breath. “Oh no.”
“But,” you continue anyway, holding an innocent hand out, “Just hear me out. I just have to say it.”
"Why do I feel like I’m about to get bullied?”
“Because you are low-key.”
He leans back cautiously, already looking not prepared.
“Minji does not deserve you.”
“___," you can't say that--"
“No, listen to me.” You cut him off before he can argue. “I genuinely hope one day she realizes what a ridiculously good guy she has. Because it's actually stupid that she would cancel any chance she had to spend time with you."
Jisung’s ears start turning pink already. He tries to play it off by adjusting his glasses and swallowing nothing, but it's too late, you've already noticed and memorized the pretty color.
“You’re dramatic.”
“I’m correct.”
“You barely know me.”
“And yet somehow I already know you’re too nice for like eighty percent of this campus.”
He huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he reaches for his drink again.
You watch him for a second before adding casually, “Or, alternatively, I hope she never figures it out and dumps you, so I can have you instead.”
Jisung nearly chokes, a small spill of his drink leaking from his lips.
You grin innocently while he coughs into his fist, face flushing pink all over again. Oh yeah, you just found your new favorite color.
“Oh my god,” he mutters, avoiding your eyes now. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not? I believe in honesty.”
“I think you believe in causing chaos on purpose.”
“That too.”
He laughs despite himself, ducking his head as he pushes his glasses back up his nose. Goddamn, that smile tugging at his mouth, so small and unassuming, like he’s trying not to enjoy this conversation as much as he is.
You don't understand why he doesn't just admit he enjoys it when you flirt with him. It's not like his loser girlfriend is doing it for him. Nor could she! He already admitted she doesn't give him the physical attention he would like. You can only imagine what kind of emotional attention is missing from his relationship too.
And yet, at the same time, Jisung continues to demonstrate one of the reasons you respect him so much: he sticks up for his girlfriend regardless of her presence. Whether she's here or not, he's not willing to speak ill of her – even if the things you're saying are a hundred percent true.
With your stomach in knots, you're the first to break eye contact, fixing your gaze on your straw instead.
Jisung drops his head into one hand with a quiet sigh, shoulders shaking from embarrassed energy and laughter at the same time.
“You know, I meant for this conversation to make you feel better because you were crying,” he says, eyes sparkling with each word, “not psychologically torture me.”
“Psychologically torturing you does make me feel better."
“Be serious."
“I am. You're too cute when you're flustered. Can't help it."
You intended that line to once again show you that adorably addictive shade of pink on the tips of his ears. But instead, he just looks at you. Not dramatically. Not defensively. Not embarrassed or flustered at all actually.
He just…looks at you.
And for some reason, that’s so much worse.
Because there’s no annoyance in his expression. No discomfort. Just those big, boba brown eyes fixed on you with this quiet, unreadable softness that makes your chest tighten unexpectedly and your toes curl in your shoes.
It lasts maybe two seconds. Probably less.
But it feels intimate enough during those brief moments that you feel a pinch of guilt in your side, making you sit up straight and pull your feet closer under the table.
“Fine,” you mutter, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’ll stop flirting.”
“Promise?”
You place a hand dramatically over your heart and raise the other into the air. “I promise to stop verbally hitting on you while you're in a relationship."
A shy smile slips onto his face. “Thanks,” he says quietly.
The thing is, technically, you keep your promise. Your mouth behaves for the rest of the meal, no instances even though plenty of opportunities present themselves.
Your eyes, however, are another story entirely.
Because every time he laughs, your gaze lingers too long on his mouth and that little glimpse of his gums when he smiles really big.
Every time he pushes his glasses up his nose, you notice that little bit underneath the band that's paler than the rest of his honey skin.
Every time he ducks his head while smiling at something stupid you said, you notice the natural part in his bangs and how he shakes his head to get them out of his eyes.
And every time he says your name, you notice the way the syllables seem to melt off his tongue and rest on his lips for a moment longer, as if being kissed before they finally reach your ears.
I saw the movie love actually and I was thinking who fits the character where he holds the pluck card i feel like seungmin is the guy that fits that male lead
Oh wow I haven't watched Love Actually in so long, what a throwback!
And what a legendary scene, I remember seeing that scene everywhere for a solid couple years when the movie first came out. I can see several members in skz pulling that scene off ♥️
GAAAAAAAAAAAAHH GIRLFRIEND IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! THE STORY IS SO INTERESTING AND I AM Y E A R N I N G ! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH
Mwahahahahahehehehe yay! 😁 I'm so glad you're enjoying it 😊 it's turning out to be really fun to write. I've got some cool stuff planned for it, and we're gonna dive a lot deeper into Jisung's character 👏
popular boy jeongin who seems scary at first until you go to a party (because you were forced to) despite not drinking alcohol and he somehow knows about that and warns that what you were about to drink wasn't juice #thinking
JEONGIN 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫
Thanks for the delulu fuel, darling, needed this today 💜
-> You don't like Han Jisung's girlfriend. He needs a new one.
nerd!jisung x fem!reader
strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, hurt / comfort, college!au, suggestive
3.2K
warnings: cursing, unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of cheating, reader is an unreliable narrator
inspired by Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne
series mlist
-------------------------------------------------
The campus diner is loud in a comforting sort of way. Week old grease popping behind the counter, retro music humming through blown-out speakers, students half-asleep and half-high on milkshakes and fries.
Memories of this place from freshman year flood your mind the moment you step inside, back when the campus still felt exciting and full of possibility. Even the questionable food and multiple health code violations were somehow charming.
You used to come here alone all the time, before your reputation. Studying felt less miserable when you had a greasy snack and the option to periodically pass out in one of the most ridiculously uncomfortable diner booths on planet earth.
Back then, you’d spread your notes across the table and stay for hours, tucked into the corner with headphones on and a milkshake sweating beside your textbooks. It felt peaceful.
Until that peace turned into loneliness. And you stopped coming so often.
But you’re not alone anymore.
Jisung sits across from you now, hoodie sleeves pushed up enough to expose his forearms as he casually steals one of your fries. You watch him drag it through your dipping sauce like it naturally belongs to both of you, completely unbothered (or clueless) by the intimacy of it.
And maybe that’s what gets you the most. Because a week ago, Han Jisung was just some random guy sitting alone at a party next to a drink he wasn’t even drinking.
And now somehow the two of you have slipped into this strange comfortability that usually takes months to build, stuck in this weird limbo where it feels normal for him to eat off your plate, but not to ask for his number.
“You know,” Jisung says around a mouthful of stolen fries, “this is probably the weirdest origin story I’ve ever experienced.”
“Origin story?” you raise a brow. “That’s what we’re calling it?”
“Mhm.”
“Is that nerd language for friendship?”
“Pretty much.”
“So, we're friends?”
“I mean,” he replies slowly, “Do you want to be?”
Oh, hell to the no. The last thing you want is to be shoved into the friendzone with Han Jisung. If you’re going to end up in anything involving Jisung, you’d strongly prefer it be his bedsheets.
“Sure,” you say sweetly instead. “I’d like that.”
Even though you lied, the way his face brightens feels dangerously rewarding.
You watch, deeply distracted, as he takes a bite of his burger before swiping his thumb through the ketchup at the corner of his mouth and absentmindedly licking it clean. Something about watching him eat is oddly satisfying.
His cheeks are three times their normal size when he talks with food in his mouth, soft and round in a way that should not be as cute as it is on a grown ass man. It gives him this unfairly adorable quality that completely clashes with the fact that you’ve spent at least half the week imagining him in morally questionable scenarios.
“Can you believe that a week ago you were trying to seduce me in a hallway?” he continues, pausing to chew only after speaking. “What an introduction.”
Even more concerning, you’re starting to realize Jisung never seems to finish chewing what’s already stored in his cheeks before immediately putting more food in his mouth.
The man is going to choke, and surprisingly, it will have nothing to do with your hand around his neck.
“Oh my god,” you groan, dropping your forehead dramatically into your palm. “Are you ever gonna let that go?”
“I’m just saying,” he swallows, “most people start conversations by asking about my major or hobbies, not putting their hand on my thigh.”
“In my defense,” you point at him with a fry, “you looked easy.”
“Easy?”
“You were way too innocent to be at that party, what was I supposed to do?”
“Not try to corrupt me?”
“Okay, before we start judging, I would just like it to be noted that the second I found out you had a girlfriend, I backed off.”
Jisung gives you a look over the edge of his glasses before pushing them back up his nose. “Backed off?”
“Yes.”
“You stalked us for a week.”
“That was investigative journalism!”
He laughs again, warm and bright enough that a couple people glance over. “Oh, right. My bad.”
“Seriously,” you reply, trying to hide your smile behind your drink before it betrays how much his laugh affects you. “I could’ve been a terrible person about it, but I wasn’t.”
“You bought a — well actually, I don't know if I can even call it a disguise.”
“Okay first, I didn't buy anything. I had that trenchcoat. Second, my outfit choices are unrelated to my moral integrity.”
“The trench coat was an insane move.”
“It was fashion.”
“It was seventy-eight degrees outside.”
"You know what?" A giggle slips free before you can catch it. So much for maintaining the bit. You quickly pull yourself together, adopting your most serious expression. "You're being really judgmental for a guy who plays League of Legends behind his girlfriend's back."
He gasps softly, a hand gripping his shirt like you’ve wounded him. “Low blow.”
“Be grateful I’m keeping your secret, nerd.”
“We're friends now,” he points out. “You have to.”
“So the reason you wanted to be friends wasn't because you like me? You just didn't want me to tattle on you?” A dramatic hand lands across your heart, little sniffles and fake sobs between your words. “I'm hurt.”
Jisung shakes his head, still smiling to himself as he reaches for another fry off your plate. “Nah, of course I like you.”
Holy shit, get it together. He didn't mean it like that.
His bangs keep falling in front of his eyes every time he laughs, and you have to physically stop yourself from reaching across the table to fix them. (Which is ridiculous behavior. Deeply embarrassing, honestly.)
It doesn't take long. The two of you dissolve into laughter again and again, eventually drawing attention from the handful of other students scattered through the diner. But you couldn't care less.
Jisung’s shoulders shake when he laughs hard. His head falls back against the booth and his arm lands over his stomach. Every so often he smacks the seat beside him or his own thigh, only to immediately wince afterward and grab his wrist dramatically.
Shit, you really like this.
You like having a shared history with him. Inside jokes only the two of you fully understand. They make you feel close to him in a way that’s probably not very smart.
Perhaps you should be embarrassed about how much you're enjoying spending time with someone else's boyfriend. But instead, it just makes your heart ache.
Truthfully, you feel a little guilty about how happy you are that he's not where he was originally supposed to be – with his girlfriend.
But rather, he’s here. Stealing your fries and laughing at your jokes like he genuinely enjoys being around you.
And selfishly, you want to keep him here for as long as possible.
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
“For what?”
You give a small, nonchalant shrug. “I needed to laugh, I guess.”
Goddamn it, there he goes again. You didn't realize a smile could look like that. Small at first before it spreads fully across his face like he just can’t help it. As if you're the charming one here.
Those gorgeous boba eyes practically disappear into crescents, rosy cheeks pushing up high behind his glasses. And the way his smile shows a little bit of his top gums!? Holy fuck, he's adorable. Like a proud kid who just got told he did something right for once.
Your gaze lingers on him for too long. How long? You don't know. Long enough that you catch yourself smiling too, simply because he is.
The realization hits you like a slap to the back of the head. Oh, you are so down catastrophically bad.
You clear your throat quickly and look down at your basket of fries instead, suddenly very interested in the three lonely fries left at the bottom.
“You know,” you say after a while, nudging fries around in circles, “most people would’ve asked why I was crying by now.”
Jisung tilts his head curiously, eyes dipping low to catch your downcast gaze. “Do you want me to ask why you were crying?”
You shrug one shoulder, not really nodding but definitely not shaking your head. “I don’t know. It's whatever. Just saying.”
And that’s the truth. You’re not even sure why you brought it up. Normally, if people ask personal questions, you dodge them with inappropriate humor or flirt your way out of it until the conversation moves on. Vulnerability has never really been your thing.
But Jisung just sits there quietly. No pressure. No pushing. He studies you, gaze softening as he takes in the way you’re nibbling absentmindedly at the corner of a fry instead of eating it properly. The way your shoulders keep tightening every few seconds like you’re bracing for some kind of impact.
Then, very gently, he asks, “Why were you crying, ___?"
A small breath escapes your lips, a hesitation some might say. But then you decide there’s no point in avoiding honesty when Jisung has never given you any reason to.
“I ran into my ex.”
“Yikes.”
“And he’s still the same jerk I left three months ago.”
“Why’d you two break up?”
“Because it felt like I only mattered to him when he wanted something from me,” you admit quietly. “And then I found out he cheated.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.” You let out a small laugh even though there's nothing funny about it. “But apparently I wasn’t allowed to be upset.”
“What do you mean?”
You shrug, even though the motion feels stiff. “When I confronted him, he basically said it was my fault. Said I treat sex too casually, and I let guys use me, so I have no right to get mad when he did the same thing."
The words leave a sour taste in your mouth all over again, as if tasting them for the first time.
“Jerk,” you mutter under your breath, blinking quickly as you look away.
Jisung goes quiet after that. Not awkwardly. Not dismissively. He just lets the silence settle for a moment when he notices your eyes starting to gloss over again.
“Is it okay if I say something?” he finally asks.
You nod. “Please.”
Jisung adjusts his glasses before continuing, quieter this time. “Honestly? When you first sat down next to me at that party, I felt uncomfortable and really nervous.”
Okay, ouch. But before embarrassment can fully crawl up your spine, he quickly adds, “Not because I thought you were bad or annoying or anything. I just…I didn’t really know what to do with that version of you.”
Your gaze lands on his only to find those precious boba eyes sparkling back at you.
“But the more we talked that night, the more I started seeing the real you underneath all that hypersexual facade.” His voice softens, immediately softening the knot in your chest as well. “The way you joked. The way you talked. The way you flirted with me and then pretended to get upset when I turned you down–”
“Not pretending, but go on."
“--that version of you? The real one. I actually liked her. A lot.”
An unstoppable heat creeps up your neck.
Is it just you or did the diner suddenly get way too warm to be sitting inside? The air goes thick, and you can't seem to get enough oxygen breathing through your nose, so your lips part and you take in a deep, slow breath.
“That’s the person I actually wanted to keep talking to after the party," he admits. “That’s the person I want to be friends with.”
Right about now is typically when you would fire off some snarky, sarcastic comeback to leave him flustered and fumbling.
But nothing comes out. Your throat suddenly feels too tight for sarcasm.
Well, shit.
How did he say all that so simply? As if your most heavily guarded insecurity was so obvious to him? What, does he have x-ray vision or something? Fuck, you weren't ready for that. And the longer you let his words hang in the air, the more you realize just how absolutely insane what he just said is.
Guys are not supposed to make you nervous! That’s never how this works. You make guys nervous. You’re the one who leans in first. The one who flirts first. The one who leaves boys red-faced and fumbling over their own name.
But right now?
Looking into Jisung’s eyes is making your stomach twist and your nerves tingle. And for maybe the first time in years, you feel shy. Legitimately shy.
“Okay, hold on,” you blurt out, waving a hand through the air to cut the scene.
Jisung watches you for another second before the corner of his mouth lifts into something softer. “What?”
“Really? Are you serious right now? You're just going to say that while looking at me like that?”
His gaze goes right and left and then comes back to you. “Looking at you like what?”
Your face lands in your hands. “Oh my god, it's so stressful.”
“What is?”
“You! And your relationship status.”
He just stares at you. Somehow this man is both the most intuitive and yet oblivious person you've ever met. In a matter of minutes, he's able to make you cry, stop your crying, make you blush, and make you want to punch a cement wall.
But is he going to take responsibility for all this?
Don't count on it.
No, instead he's just going to sit there with his head tilted and his bangs gently falling in front of his eyes. Fuck, you just want to kiss his stupid, pouty lips until they're swollen and he's breathless underneath you in the corner booth.
“I don't get it,” he replies slowly, brows knitting together cutely.
“Okay,” you start by sitting forward and placing your hands on the table, a deep breath to prepare yourself. “Look, I’m aware you don’t want me commenting on your girlfriend."
Jisung immediately groans under his breath. “Oh no.”
“But,” you continue anyway, holding an innocent hand out, “Just hear me out. I just have to say it.”
"Why do I feel like I’m about to get bullied?”
“Because you are low-key.”
He leans back cautiously, already looking not prepared.
“Minji does not deserve you.”
“___," you can't say that--"
“No, listen to me.” You cut him off before he can argue. “I genuinely hope one day she realizes what a ridiculously good guy she has. Because it's actually stupid that she would cancel any chance she had to spend time with you."
Jisung’s ears start turning pink already. He tries to play it off by adjusting his glasses and swallowing nothing, but it's too late, you've already noticed and memorized the pretty color.
“You’re dramatic.”
“I’m correct.”
“You barely know me.”
“And yet somehow I already know you’re too nice for like eighty percent of this campus.”
He huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he reaches for his drink again.
You watch him for a second before adding casually, “Or, alternatively, I hope she never figures it out and dumps you, so I can have you instead.”
Jisung nearly chokes, a small spill of his drink leaking from his lips.
You grin innocently while he coughs into his fist, face flushing pink all over again. Oh yeah, you just found your new favorite color.
“Oh my god,” he mutters, avoiding your eyes now. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”
“Why not? I believe in honesty.”
“I think you believe in causing chaos on purpose.”
“That too.”
He laughs despite himself, ducking his head as he pushes his glasses back up his nose. Goddamn, that smile tugging at his mouth, so small and unassuming, like he’s trying not to enjoy this conversation as much as he is.
You don't understand why he doesn't just admit he enjoys it when you flirt with him. It's not like his loser girlfriend is doing it for him. Nor could she! He already admitted she doesn't give him the physical attention he would like. You can only imagine what kind of emotional attention is missing from his relationship too.
And yet, at the same time, Jisung continues to demonstrate one of the reasons you respect him so much: he sticks up for his girlfriend regardless of her presence. Whether she's here or not, he's not willing to speak ill of her – even if the things you're saying are a hundred percent true.
With your stomach in knots, you're the first to break eye contact, fixing your gaze on your straw instead.
Jisung drops his head into one hand with a quiet sigh, shoulders shaking from embarrassed energy and laughter at the same time.
“You know, I meant for this conversation to make you feel better because you were crying,” he says, eyes sparkling with each word, “not psychologically torture me.”
“Psychologically torturing you does make me feel better."
“Be serious."
“I am. You're too cute when you're flustered. Can't help it."
You intended that line to once again show you that adorably addictive shade of pink on the tips of his ears. But instead, he just looks at you. Not dramatically. Not defensively. Not embarrassed or flustered at all actually.
He just…looks at you.
And for some reason, that’s so much worse.
Because there’s no annoyance in his expression. No discomfort. Just those big, boba brown eyes fixed on you with this quiet, unreadable softness that makes your chest tighten unexpectedly and your toes curl in your shoes.
It lasts maybe two seconds. Probably less.
But it feels intimate enough during those brief moments that you feel a pinch of guilt in your side, making you sit up straight and pull your feet closer under the table.
“Fine,” you mutter, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’ll stop flirting.”
“Promise?”
You place a hand dramatically over your heart and raise the other into the air. “I promise to stop verbally hitting on you while you're in a relationship."
A shy smile slips onto his face. “Thanks,” he says quietly.
The thing is, technically, you keep your promise. Your mouth behaves for the rest of the meal, no instances even though plenty of opportunities present themselves.
Your eyes, however, are another story entirely.
Because every time he laughs, your gaze lingers too long on his mouth and that little glimpse of his gums when he smiles really big.
Every time he pushes his glasses up his nose, you notice that little bit underneath the band that's paler than the rest of his honey skin.
Every time he ducks his head while smiling at something stupid you said, you notice the natural part in his bangs and how he shakes his head to get them out of his eyes.
And every time he says your name, you notice the way the syllables seem to melt off his tongue and rest on his lips for a moment longer, as if being kissed before they finally reach your ears.
Is anyone else's drafts going haywire? Every time I start a new paragraph or paste something, it kicks me back to the top of the draft and I have to scroll all the way back down -- which is super annoying when I'm 4K deep into y/n and jisung arguing over how he should be treated like the princess he is!!
